Chapter 68 Nine, remember the general physical examination

Going to the hospital is a kind of pleasure for women, but for men, it is unnecessary or not to enter it.I have never seen a woman enter the hospital without joy.In the hospital, they can meet old friends, make new ones, exchange news, and exchange news. Isn't this a very good thing?If anyone comes to send flowers or visit, life will be easy.I remember that a certain lady gave birth and was hospitalized for two weeks. She lived in a room with two beds and one room, and the two wives shared the same room.In the past two weeks, the knowledge they have improved is really better than ten years of reading.

"Y·T· People of our age should have a general physical examination once a year. The Veterans Hospital is full of first-class famous doctors and the equipment is good." "I know this. It is even better than the international standard." "We're doing a general checkup. Three and a half days in the hospital." "General inspection," these three words are very powerful, a bit like the air of the general inspection of the three armed forces. I was discouraged.Inspection is inspection, why use the word "total". "You are hospitalized, I am not hospitalized." I said.

My wife said that I was a strange person. She firmly believed that when there was nothing to do, she should plan for something. She couldn't treat the head when it hurts, and treat the foot when the foot hurts.So we each go to extremes, and the result is peaceful and even, each goes his own way.She was hospitalized, but I was checked and not hospitalized. So the general inspection of the armed forces began.This is not just a blood pressure test, a blood test, a urine test, or a tummy pat.It is to thoroughly review the physiological functions of your entire body.It's like a person entering your house to rummage through boxes and cabinets to check and clean up.Ma'am is right, it's always fine to sort things out, but I think it's a lot.There are no mice hidden in my house.

"Usually I don't burn incense, I hold Buddha's feet temporarily. When you fall ill, you will regret it and have a test." Wife's wise opinion can also be said to be justified. "It's better to prevent a disease than to cure it," I echoed her, citing an English adage. But I still hold the principle of "checking my physiological functions at a minimum" in my heart.For example, my lung function is very good, I know, should not be checked.I said to the doctor: "Although my liver and kidney are checked, my S-shaped (large intestine) is fine, so I am exempted." The doctor hesitated a little.I further said, "Exemption from feces inspection. Such dirty things do not appeal to my sense of beauty."

"This is your business," said the doctor. "It's not like that. I'm from Xiamen. Feces always remind me of Chen Liushi. According to the Xiamen dialect, this name is not very elegant." The doctor crossed out the line "S-shaped bowel examination". Somehow, "lung function" was not crossed out.One morning, I went to have my "lung function" tested.It's an insult.I have climbed Huashan Mountain.In college, records were also broken in the mile.Who doubts my lung function?This is probably a kind of experiment similar to blowing up balloons, to see who can blow up the bigger balloons.So the lady clamped my nose and told me to hold a piece of metal in my mouth, as in the posture of being tortured with a wooden stick, and blow desperately into the big rubber tube, "spit, spit, spit—suck, suck, suck—" Suck, Suck, Suck, Suck, Suck, Suck, Suck - Suck and Suck - Suck and Suck."

I felt a little silly, but still obeyed to the end. "How is my lung function?" "Not much. You are getting old." The female assistant answered lightly.Probably worse than before.But it’s not necessarily related to age, it’s because I’ve been abroad for a long time, and I’ve lost the grandiose practice of Chinese people spitting, inhaling, and spitting.I know that phlegm has a great effect on lung function and is of great help. "ECG" is a bit special.At first, I was lying on the bed as usual, my left and right hands, left and right feet were coiled with wires, and I lay there admiring the curves drawn by the current detection machine, which was neat and impressive.However, the Veterans Hospital is very careful and requires the examinee to do some exercise and then make a picture.There are two steps of wooden ladders in the room. You are asked to go up and down once, turn over and go up and down again. You need to climb and descend forty times within three minutes.I just used the method of climbing Huashan Mountain to ascend and descend the loop, but I passed.This female assistant is talking and laughing.

"How am I compared to Yao Lili?" "Yao Lili never came to exercise." "You check like this. Check for three more days, and I guarantee you'll be sick." My digestion is fine.With the exception of the rubber shoes, I could swallow and assure I could digest them.The female doctor asked me to drink a large glass of white liquid, and then used X-rays to see the function of my stomach. "Your stomach is very beautiful." said the female doctor. "Really?" I said, feeling a little underappreciated in my heart. The female doctor can be regarded as my confidant.

The liver can often go wrong, and liver stones can remain hidden in the chest for more than ten years, so X-ray photography is used just in case.This is what should be done under my principle of "minimum examination of physiological functions".I have never believed that Chinese doctors operate to remove liver stones and kidney stones.Because the Chinese are too advanced in their cooking skills, and their sense of five flavors is too sensitive. When they see the stomach, they think of frying the tip of the belly. When they see the kidney, they think of frying the kidneys. When they turn around, they taste my liver in the pot. It is crispy and delicious, and forget about my gallstones.Liang Rengong cut off a waist and suffered an innocent disaster.But the female assistant was very busy that day, so I didn't dare to ask her, "Excuse me, ma'am, is my liver beautiful?"