Chapter 7 seven

The host of the meeting was waiting for me outside the door of the meeting room, and walked into the dining room with me.As I walked, I hoped that tomorrow I would talk about the extreme "left" education line promoted by the "Gang of Four", which interfered with the direction of education in art schools.I had no choice but to decline "with extreme humility". I'm not a person who hasn't told a lie.However, on the day I stepped out of Fudan University, I wrote this in my diary: "Over the years, I have recognized so many hypocritical people, seen so many hypocritical things, and heard so many lies. I have told so many lies against my will, from now on I will be an honest person..."

I, who "want to be an honest person", told a huge lie in front of many highly educated people! That was indeed the first time I lied since leaving college, no, the second time.The first time was - I slapped the "child movie star" and said "just kidding with him". The second time I lied, like a liar, I said it so realistically and uprightly. I was ashamed to the core. A young man who graduated from a prestigious university, just because he entered the university at a certain abnormal period, concealed his life experience like an illegitimate child, and concealed his "true face" in front of many higher education students. sad!

From a personal point of view, this is very despicable. But this is by no means my own mentality of a "worker, peasant and soldier student".This kind of mentality, like an invisible ulcer, breeds harmful fungi in my own heart and in the hearts of many "worker, peasant, and soldier students".How sad for a country's higher education!It's like "Hawthorn Pills" poured out of the "Alchemy Furnace" of the Taishang Laojun. My lie was exposed that night - a certain leader of our editorial department came to Xiyuan to visit an old colleague from the South China team... I don't know.

The next day, I was ten minutes late.At the entrance of the second floor, he was stopped by an old man. He said to me, "Don't go into the conference room yet." I looked at him in bewilderment. He added: "Everyone already knows." I asked, "Know what?" "I know you are a 'worker, peasant and soldier student'." His deep eyes stared at me seriously. I was stunned. He said in a low voice: "People are very angry and talking about you. Why are you lying? Why are you lying to everyone?" He shook his head and said in a lower voice: "This is not good, this is really bad! Some representatives Request to report this matter to the conference briefing team!..."

Not only bad, but bad! At the National "Higher Education" Conference, after the smashing of the "Gang of Four", lies and hypocrisy are beginning to be purged from the noble educational code. "Ge" is a former graduate of the film academy's directing department, which is indeed too infuriating. I hung my head, my face flushed with fever. I shyly said to the old man: "Say something nice for me, don't let my name appear on the newsletter!" "I've done that," he said. His eyes were so peaceful. Peaceful eyes, at certain moments, are also the most unbearable eyes.I think his gaze penetrated into my heart.

He said, "Shall we take a walk outside the building?" I nodded silently. We were walking outside the building, and he told me a lot about how we should treat ourselves as a "worker, peasant and soldier student".When he accompanied me back to the door of the conference room, I still lacked enough courage to enter. He said: "No one in the world dares to claim that he has never told a lie. Go in!" He took my arm and entered the conference room with me. Only that day did I know that this old man whom I am grateful for is the old educator Wu Boxiao. Mr. Wu was the first person I respected from the bottom of my heart after I arrived in Beijing.

After the "Higher Education" meeting, he left me his home address and welcomed me to his home to play. At that time, his family lived on the beach.I have been to his house twice. For the first time, he gave me a collection of essays "North Star". The second time he gave me a collection of essays "Bu Yi Ji" and a stone seal with the words "Bu Yi Ke Qin" engraved on it.He carved it for me himself. The two times I went there, I met him writing at his desk.As soon as he saw me, he immediately put down his pen, made tea, looked for cigarettes, sat with me face to face, and talked with me.

He was so easygoing that I almost suspected him of being a temperless man. The expression on his face is always so peaceful.Eyes on me when talking to me.He leaned slightly towards me when he listened to me.He is hard of hearing. What I remember most is his gaze, so frank, so kind, so sincere.When I looked at me, I felt that the worries in my heart were reduced a lot. His family's living conditions were very poor at that time.Due to the ongoing construction nearby, the courtyard no longer exists.There are only two rooms in his house.The room I received every time was about thirteen or four square meters, with wooden strips as bones in the middle and large white paper mounted as partitions.The inner half may be his bedroom, and the outer half may be his writing room.A table takes up most of the outside area.The two of us take our seats, and the third has almost nowhere to go.Under the eaves, there is a small coal stove. When I went to his house twice, I saw the smoke rising from the eaves, and there were rows of freshly made coal cakes on the ground.

I asked him why the living conditions are so poor? He smiled and said, "Isn't this full? There is a place to sleep and a place to write, that's fine." He drove me all the way to the bus stop when he said goodbye. I poured out to him a lot of troubles in life and life.He taught me many principles of life and doing things in a persuasive and persuasive manner. He said to me like this: One more sincerity, one more friend.One less sincerity, one less friend.A man who has no friends is truly destitute.Whoever wants to find a friend who has no flaws at all can't even become his friend.A man has many strengths but is not upright.Such a person cannot be cited as a friend.A person has many faults, but integrity, such a person should be associated with.Integrity or not, this is the most important point in a person's quality.Your friends are your mirrors.What kind of friends you associate with can measure your own quality.We often recognize what kind of person we really are through comparing the qualities of our friends... One of our comrades in Beijing Film Studio used to work under the leadership of Mr. Wu.He respectfully calls Mr. Wu his "teacher"—he is already forty-five or sixteen years old.I often saw him walking in the factory yard at night, but he never spoke.

Once we met again, he took the initiative to say: "Mr. Wu wants me to say hello." We started talking, and the main topic was Mr. Wu. He told me such a thing: when he and six young people were working under the direct leadership of Mr. Wu, one day one of them lost 200 yuan and reported it to Mr. Wu.Mr. Wu told him not to say anything, saying that he would definitely find it.A few days later, when all six young people were present, Mr. Wu handed over 200 yuan to the owner and said, "I found your money. I don't know which comrade found it and put it in my drawer." The owner Naturally very happy.On the same day, another two hundred yuan appeared in Mr. Wu's drawer.It turned out that the two hundred yuan he handed over to the owner was his own.But he never pursued this matter again.When the six young people left him one after another, they were all reluctant to part, and some even cried...

"Because Mr. Wu trusted me very much at the time, he only told me about it." My colleague from Beijing Film Studio said, "Mr. Wu thinks it doesn't matter who stole the 200 yuan. It's important." What's more, one out of six young men made a mistake once, but corrected himself. It makes me happy!" After hearing this incident, I respect Mr. Wu even more in my heart.He reminds me of the Soviet educator Makarenko. To be so magnanimous to young people is really worthy of the style of an old educator. Because Mr. Wu is not in good health and he is writing in his spare time, I am afraid that if I visit him too often, I will disturb him instead, so I never went to his house again. My first few naive novels were published, and I sent the publication to him. His reply greatly encouraged me, and he called me "Xiaosheng Wendi", hoping that I would also give artistic opinions on his works, which made me extremely ashamed.The letter was written with a brush, and I still keep it to this day. Half a year later, when I was on a business trip, I saw the news of Mr. Wu's death in the newspaper, and I was deeply saddened.Shut myself in the room of the guest house, and wept aloud... "Polaris" and "Bu Yi Ji", I love them very much.An article "The Spinning Wheel in Yan'an" in our middle school Chinese textbook was included in "Polaris".But in comparison, I prefer "Bu Yi Ji". I put "Bu Yi Ji" on the top shelf of my bookshelf, alongside many of my favorite books. Mr. Wu, Mr. Wu, before you were alive, I never said this to you face to face. Now that you are under the Nine Springs, I want to tell you——you are the person I respect the most in Beijing.Not only because you saved my name from appearing shamelessly in the briefing of the Fourth National "Higher Education" Conference, not only because of your guidance and teaching to me later, but also because of your "Common Yi Ji".Although it is such a small collection, it is far from being able to compare with those big novels or complete works or anthologies, although it has not won any literary awards.You sincerely call for and practice the "civilian spirit" in thought and sentiment.This kind of spirit seems to be considered outdated by some people at present, it seems that it is not so honorable, and it seems to be a "pedantic" theory of intellectuals. In your letter to me, you wrote: "My so-called 'commoner spirit' means not thinking for power, not for money, not for profit, not for fame, not for the sake of all personal interests, but not to act. , and the spirit of hard work. Intellectuals have this spirit, will have the contribution of knowledge. Communists have this spirit, there will be a contribution to the realization of communist ideals. Therefore, the "civilian spirit" should not only be The spirit of Chinese intellectuals, especially the spirit of Chinese Communists..." Mr. Wu, you are an old intellectual, and you are also an old Communist Party member.On both counts, I respect you.You regard the "civilian spirit" as the character principle of an intellectual, and also as the character principle of a Communist.You persevere in this spirit with a childlike obsession.I hope that when I reach your age, I can have the qualifications to say to myself without shame: "I am not for power, not for money, not for profit, not for fame, I write cleanly, and I have been a clean person all my life." , have not harmed or invaded or embezzled the interests of the common people in a disguised form!..." Nowadays, there are fewer intellectuals in common clothes, and fewer Communists in common clothes.There are fewer leading cadres of the Communist Party in civilian clothes.Because there are indeed cool, card, blended, and so on.If the Communist Party had become a civilian party, it would be ridiculous in the 1980s.But if the Communist Party becomes a party that has lost its "commoner spirit", it will not be funny or ridiculous, and it will give people a different feeling in their hearts! You are leaving behind a sigh of "commoner spirit", calling for a kind of party style, calling for a kind of style of party cadres! The reality is really ashamed of your childlike persistent beliefs and fable-like simple thoughts during your lifetime!Our country, our nation, has always advocated power due to the accumulation of national psychology and various historical origins.The feudal monarchy is based on this admiration as its social foundation.This is the stupid side of our nation.Man should not be ruled by kingship, but only by knowledge.This is called human civilization, or "spiritual civilization".There was a time when our society seemed to have a good culture of advocating knowledge, but it was quickly washed away by the worship of money. Money, this lovable monster, devours the souls of some Chinese people, and devours the souls of some Chinese Communists. In the previous period, the secretary of the provincial party committee was also the manager of a certain company, and the secretary of the municipal party committee was also the manager of a certain company. business people.Is it because the common people hate money?Or earn money from the common people?What's more, their wives and children, under the guise of doing business, are actually smuggling in a grandiose manner.Without smuggling, how can foreign banks open accounts for tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands? It was even published in "Reference News", so it probably wouldn't be a slander of the Communist Party by class enemies, right? Didn't they say "make some people rich first"?It should be to make some of the people rich first!If the cadres of our Communist Party all take advantage of their powers and rush to make themselves rich first, what kind of "party serves the people wholeheartedly"? China belongs to the Chinese people.All wealth in China, big and small, was created by the Chinese people.Any act of embezzling, squandering, and wasting people's property should not be the behavior of the cadres of the Chinese Communist Party, it is an ugly act, and should be punished by law.The people hope so.Now the people have only hope for the party.I hope that the policy of "opening up to the outside world and invigorating the economy inside" will remain unchanged; I hope that the party's style will be completely improved; I hope that there will be a few "Bao Longtu" in the party to eradicate evil and assist the "Chao Gang"; I hope that the reform will achieve greater results and detours less.And the greatest hope is that those within the party who harm the public and benefit themselves, and use power for personal gain will not continue.The people both hate them and have nothing to do with them.Because the people have entrusted power to them, just as King Lear entrusted the scepter to his daughters and sons-in-law, who were obedient and domineering to him at first. The common people have a saying - "Do it again and again, never do it again".This is also hope.Chinese people are the most benevolent and kind people in the world.They are very understanding.The country was brought down by the old Communists, and the people who have taken down the country are entitled to ask for benefits from the people.The people give, and the people have given.Including their children and grandchildren reaching out to the people or taking things like they are from their own homes to reap all kinds of special benefits, the people can also be magnanimous and silent.The Chinese people are so benevolent and kind.But China is very poor!The lives of ordinary people in China are generally still very poor!To achieve a well-off life, we have to work hard until the end of this century!The people can't give that much, and the people can't afford it.Everything has to be done slowly, and the people have to be allowed to give slowly.Don't be too hasty.Even if it is repeated again and again, the common people still have only hope.Which country's people are more benevolent and kind than the Chinese people?Which country's people are better at patience than the Chinese people, better at holding on to unfailing hope amidst patience?Those who use power for personal gain, who only want to get rich first, and who don't care about the interests of the people at all, should be ashamed. Just a few days ago, the director of a factory in Harbin came to me and said something like this: their factory wanted to buy a printing machine of a certain type, but it was difficult to buy, so someone kindly introduced it to him. A son of a business cadre. The other party said: I have the printing machine you want to buy, and I can sell it to you, but you have to give me 10% of the "personal service fee".Yes, it can be picked up tomorrow. A printing machine costs 170,000 yuan.Ten percent—17,000 yuan.Question: "Do you issue an invoice?" Answer: "'Personal labor expenses', what invoice should be issued?" Take the machines produced by the state and resell them, dare to ask for "tips" of 120,000 yuan per mouth, and call it "personal labor services", what is this called? !What's more, it's puzzling: How could it be hoarded in the hands of some people because it can't be bought for expanded reproduction with a letter of introduction?What kind of power do they rely on? One day, when I was writing in the office, my father called me and said that a tall foreigner had come to my home. After I arrived in Beijing, I had little communication and never met foreigners, so I couldn't help feeling very puzzled. When I got home, I saw a foreigner sitting quietly waiting—Shen Walker! Since he left Fudan, I never saw him and thought he would never come to China again. I didn't expect him to fall from the sky, and we don't need to repeat our mutual happiness. I introduced to my father: "This is my friend, the Swede." Walker stood up, his head touched the shade of the chandelier, and countless plastic fringes clattered down. He blushed suddenly, and immediately bent down to pick it up.He is so tall that it is very difficult to bend down.I had no choice but to bend one knee, to kneel down, like a tall foreign lady who suffered from cramp in one leg when she was bowing her knees. I help him pick it up with a smile. My father looked at him and me coldly, not knowing when and under what circumstances I met this foreigner and called him a "friend."My father was afraid that I would be called out, get carried away, and make some "international mistake".My father is used to referring to "connecting with foreign countries" as "international mistakes".My father's thinking and understanding of dealing with foreigners was still stagnant during the "Cultural Revolution" period, and he was not "open" at all. He often said: "Don't look at the complacent appearance of those Chinese who interact with foreigners today, there is no guarantee that one day they will be unlucky again, and it will be too late to cry." Walker took all the plastic fringes that were knocked off and installed them on the chandelier leisurely. Seeing my father's expression, I was afraid that Walker would be sensitive to something, so I added, "We lived in the same dormitory when we were in Fudan!" Walker finished the installation, smiled at his father, sat down, and said: "Xiaosheng and I are very good friends, the first friend I made in China. It was still the period of the 'Gang of Four'. Our friendship has passed Some tests." Then he turned to look at me, meaning to ask me—right? "Exactly," I said to him, and to my father. Father replied "Oh, oh..." and left the house without coming in again. Nowadays, a Chinese can call a foreigner his friend, if the foreigner is from the so-called Western world, such a "rich country" like Sweden, and he is a young Ph. The unusual glory of the Chinese. I call Walker my friend, and I don't think I'm doing him any favors.He regards me as a friend, and he certainly doesn't think it's a compliment to me.His doctorate title, in my opinion, is not radiant.His dissertation for this degree - "Research on Ancient Chinese Folk Songs" was completed when I helped him collect materials, copy cards, and discuss with each other when he was in college. This time he is working in an office in China.He read a small article introducing me from the "Youth Daily" and asked about my address. Since then, he has come to my house as a guest almost every Saturday night.He likes to drink rice jujube porridge, fried cakes, canned cucumbers, and dumplings.We let him eat two meals of dumplings every month, and only porridge for more days.