Chapter 41 19. Call of Friendship

Since the beginning of the exercise, I have been harboring a heart disease, which is Guo Shiying.Judging from the state of the entire movement, his life at the Agricultural University will not be easy.No matter how sincerely he repents, it is impossible not to be entangled in the historical issues of x, and he does not know what kind of violent reaction he will make because of his straightforward personality.I didn't have any news about him, so I really wanted to go to the Agricultural University to inquire about it, but I didn't dare. I was afraid that the actual situation would make me unbearable.

Unexpectedly, after a year of silence, Guo Shiying, who made me miss and worry in every possible way, wrote to me himself. One day in mid-February 1967, I held the letter that had just arrived, like a time bomb, hid in an empty corner, and carefully unpacked it.I really think it's going to blow up and hurt me, and if it does, I'll lick the wound clean without anyone noticing.However, the explosion did not happen, and the tone of the letter was unexpectedly calm.The beginning of the letter was a tribute to the Cultural Revolution and Mao Zedong Thought, and then he pointed out the purpose of writing the letter: "We have lost contact since the Cultural Revolution, neither struggle nor unity, and suddenly became strangers. Passers-by. Although this silence is tacit and has its background, I still regret it. This sudden silence is by no means a product of Mao Zedong Thought. It is a product of bourgeois liberalism and should be broken. Then, he put forward a few suggestions, the general idea is to break the silence, to criticize our own wrong ideas together, or join in the struggle, or divide in the struggle.After reading the letter, I let out a long sigh of relief.Thankfully, Shiying was safe and sound for the time being, and that information was a thousand times more important than any specific content in the letter.

I wrote back quickly, accepting his suggestion.A copy of this reply is still available, and I read in it that I justified my silence by saying: "I was not sure about the direction of your development in this revolution, so I tried to contact you several times, but I was delayed. ’” Speaking of his erroneous thinking, I found myself mortified to be chasing after the question of individual liberty, saying that it was the basis of his whole bourgeois thinking in the past, which had not yet been completely destroyed.Finally, I asked him what specific circumstances prompted him to come with me to clean himself up. In fact, I wanted to know his actual situation now.

Shiying also wrote back immediately.He is smart after all, and in response to my uncertainty, he replied: "I will also treat the same person in the same way as others, and make the same argument against you." In the four-page letter, he talked in more detail about his experience since the beginning of the Cultural Revolution.Just as I was worried, not long after the Cultural Revolution started, a large number of big-character posters exposed and criticized his historical problems. Since then, he has fallen into a very isolated situation and carried a spiritual burden.During the big series, he went to live in the countryside of Henan for three months, and thus "made up his mind to go to the countryside to live and die with the poor and lower-middle peasants." He didn't want to come back, but he went back to school because he had to accept criticism.However, "the road ahead is clear, and the mind is very solid", that is, the final destination must be the countryside.I remembered a letter he sent me during his stay on the farm in February 1964, which also mentioned his wish to stay on the farm forever, which shows that this has been his consistent thinking for several years.This wish was painted with a strong revolutionary color, but deep down it was a kind of despair.Maybe he didn't want to admit it, but in fact he had already seen clearly that his only way out at that time was to completely break away from ideological disputes and become an authentic farmer.

Talking about his past, he emphasized: "The problem of the children of cadres was exposed during the movement, which dispelled many doubts for me. Many children of cadres are new nobles, and I am a model." He attributed his problems to Two points, one is the wrong understanding of the relationship between the masses and individuals, and the extremely reactionary superhuman thought is always reflected in various forms, and the other is the wrong understanding of class struggle.Regarding the issue of individual freedom that I raised, he expressed his understanding: "Individual freedom has a class nature, and freedom is subject to class nature and is relative. I used to think that individual freedom is an absolute thing, but it is this erroneous thought. I lost my political freedom.” However, he went on to write: “Is it because there is no individuality and no freedom? I don’t understand it that way. The problem is very abstract, and we can discuss it when we have the opportunity.” This foreshadowing shows that he is still insisting on independent thinking, and the depth of his thinking is far beyond what I could compare at that time.His analysis of my problem was that, first, he replaced class struggle with sentimentalism, and second, he lacked social practice.

How did you think of coming to me?His explanation is for the needs of criticism, because I have a better understanding of his thought development process. "At the same time, there are other desires. Wouldn't it be a good thing if we could reunite on the basis of Mao Zedong Thought through struggle?" After a while, I understood that this "other desire" was actually the first motivation. .He is really lonely, and there is no one around who understands him. He is calling for friendship and warmth in the name of revolution.As a matter of fact, we met after we communicated these two letters, and we have been in frequent exchanges since then, and no one mentioned the so-called criticism again.

The first meeting after correspondence was at Agricultural University.I went to his dormitory at the appointed time, only to see a student who obviously came from a rural area.I asked him about Guo Shiying's whereabouts, and he said angrily: "Who knows him, he's a fool, and he doesn't even fold the quilt!" The one used at Peking University a few years ago was not stacked.However, it was Guo's own quilt, and Guo didn't mess up the quilt on his bed, so why should he be so angry?As if I was also responsible for Guo Bufolding the quilt, he turned his back and ignored me.This meeting ceremony made me see at once how bad Shiying's interpersonal environment is.After a while, Shiying came back, he was thinner, but still so cheerful.We walked on the campus, and along the way, he talked about the situation of the Agricultural University Movement.When we got to the school gate, he said that we should just go home, and I jumped on the bus with him.That day, when we were chatting in Westinghouse, Mr. Guo walked in, and he told Mr. Guo that I am Zhou Guoping.Mr. Guo nodded to me, seemed to want to say something, paused for a while, and finally walked out without saying anything.This is the first time I saw Mr. Guo.