Chapter 24 2. People who have influenced my life

However, the days of studying hard in the cold window did not begin.No matter how I imagined the life that was about to start, I would never have imagined that I would meet a person here who not only changed my life at Peking University, but also influenced my whole life. On the first day at school, a well-informed classmate told me that Guo Moruo's son was in our class.Peking University is a school where the children of high-ranking cadres gather, which is nothing.Two days after I met Guo Shiying, each class discussed the entrance education report of the deputy head of the department in groups.That report was so boring that Guo Shiying didn't listen to it. He came to the school just in time for a discussion.People sat crowded together in the dormitory, speaking one after the other.Guo Shiying also spoke.He was sitting on the lower bunk of the bunk bed, with his head slightly lowered, his long hair drooping, and his eyes staring at somewhere on the ground.His voice was deep and melodious, and his voice was so low that it was almost inaudible at times, as if he was not speaking but talking to himself while thinking.The general idea of ​​what he said is that since the third year of high school, he has developed a strong interest in philosophy and read many books.The purpose of philosophy is the pursuit of truth.Whether a theory is true or not must be tested through one's own independent thinking, and the same should be true for Marxism.As a result, starting from the pursuit of truth, he moved towards doubting Marxism.For this reason, he fell into distress and left school.During a break from school, he figured out what the problem was.Marxism has a class nature. Without the class viewpoint, it is impossible to understand Marxism only by abstract thinking.

When he spoke, his face always had a contemplative look on his face, and his tone was sincere and contagious.After the speech, there was a long silence in the dormitory.There is a deep emotion in my heart.What impresses me is not so much the content of his speech, but the whole atmosphere created by his voice, expression, and way of speaking.At that time, I didn't really understand what he said, and I believe others were even more so. No one in the room thought of testing the truth of Marxism for themselves, so they were alienated from his problems and worries.However, precisely because of this, I had the distinct feeling that the man before me belonged to a type I had never seen before, characterized by a seriousness and honesty of thought, and an unwillingness to follow blindly or deceive oneself.This is a sincere person, a spiritual person.

Later, through conversation, I learned about Shiying's general experience.His middle school is Beijing's famous school for the children of cadres, 101 Middle School. In the school, he has always been a three-good student, a model member of the Communist Youth League, and is known as a model for the children of high-ranking cadres.There are two students in different classes at the same level, one is Zhang Heci, the grandson of Zhang Dongsun, and the other is Sun Jingwu, the son of Jiangmen.However, when he was about to graduate, he began to reflect on himself, and then denied his past. Since then, he has had close contacts with these two people.After leaving No. 101 Middle School, he went to China Foreign Affairs University. Due to ideological problems, he could not continue his studies in this highly political school. He took a break from school for a period of time, and then transferred to Peking University.

After entering Peking University, Shiying experienced a short period of mental peace.His speeches at the admissions seminar indicated that he was trying to orient himself as closely as possible to mainstream thought.However, this effort was not successful.After a while, his awakened thinking instinct could no longer tolerate the political and educational environment at that time, conflicts were inevitable, and his heart was very painful.From the beginning of the second semester, Zhang Heci and Sun Jingwu often appeared at the door of our dormitory. In May 1963, the Dongchuang incident broke out and the three of them were arrested.Shiying left Peking University before finishing the first grade.

At the beginning of school, Shiying was always with a classmate named Li Jianzhi. Li also graduated from No. 101 Middle School and liked to draw.Not many days later, Li was suspended from school because of tuberculosis, and I took his place.Se Young is someone who can't do without a friend, he obviously likes me and I'm deeply attracted to him.As long as he was at school, we were pretty much inseparable.We lived in the same dormitory, washed together in the morning, and went to the cafeteria together.On the way to and from the classroom, he rode his bicycle and I sat on the back seat.We also often skipped classes together, hiding in the dormitory to read or chat.We would linger in the bathroom for a while after the lights were out at night, and he would drop his thoughts to me in a low voice.He basically talked to me about everything, and after the founding of x, he also showed me all the works written by him, Zhang and Sun.Therefore, I can be counted as a fairly informed person about the circumstances of the x group that led to his later tragic death.

In a composition in Chinese class, Shiying wrote: "I tell Zhou Guoping everything, I don't know if it's because he is young or because he can understand people." Question mark, criticized: "Why is smallness the reason?" He didn't know, but smallness was really the reason.I am the youngest in the whole grade, and I look much younger than my age. I am still growing after entering university, and I am often mistaken for a middle school student when I graduate.Once, I went into an old bookstore to pick up a few books. When paying, the old man who received the money asked me curiously which middle school I was from. He suddenly caught a glimpse of my school badge and immediately shouted: "Look, I went to Peking University at such a young age." , and buy so many books!" Several female middle school students who were picking books in front of the shelf all looked back at me, which made me both shy and proud.Shiying's liking for me did have a pity factor. When talking about me with Zhang and Sun, she always nicknamed me a little guy.In fact, the so-called "understandable people" is also related to smallness, because smallness, ignorance of the world, simple heart, and sensitivity to feelings, so when the whole class distanced itself from Shiying in order to seek political progress, I was the only one who could understand Shiying. He understands with sympathy.Really, though, I adore Se Young, the uncontrollable admiration of a teenager for a charismatic youth.He was three years older than me. Thinking about it now, he was only a 20-year-old boy at the time, but he was considered an adult in my eyes at that time.His appearance is very handsome, he is 1.78 meters tall, well-proportioned and strong, with a chiseled and very individual face, very similar to the young Mayakovsky in a photo, who often wears a Chinese-style double-breasted Cloth jacket, demeanor is both simple and unique.Of course, what impressed me even more was his spiritual quality. In addition to his ideological sincerity, he was also an extremely kind-hearted person. He was devoted to his friends, passionate, full of humor, naughty and good at telling jokes.I met him when it was easiest to admire a person. However, even now that I have spent most of my life, I still dare to say that he is the most charismatic person I have ever met in this life.

I lived in Peking University for a total of six years, including two years in school, two years in rural areas, and two years in the Cultural Revolution.During these six years, I had two close contacts with Shiying, one was in his freshman year of university, and the other was during the Cultural Revolution until his death.When I look back on my years at Peking University, the relationship with Shiying is undoubtedly the most memorable and important chapter.I have every reason to say that I have learned far more, and certainly more essential, from this intercourse than the entire philosophy department taught me.If there is no Shiying, I believe that I can still walk on the road I took with my own understanding, but because the seeds planted in adolescence are relatively weak, the scenery on this road will be much less beautiful.For me, in a certain sense, Guo Shiying means my college days, and the Cultural Revolution means Guo Shiying's death.Therefore, I will inevitably talk about Guo Shiying often in this part, but I will limit myself to mainly talking about his influence on me.I don't want to tell his whole story here, that should be the subject of another book.