Chapter 23 Twenty-three, incomplete

Life is more beautiful because of its incompleteness, but the begonia without fragrance blooms more enchanting and eye-catching, the crucian carp spines are more delicious and mellow, the red building is more sentimental when it is not finished, and life is more intriguing when there is hatred. Living in the chaotic world, when we are not happy, we will always sigh inexplicably that we were born in the wrong age.If you were in the Qin Dynasty, you would be a swordsman; if you were in the Han Dynasty, you would be a counselor;In fact, in those ages, perhaps nothing can be done. Being a counselor with lofty ideals is not as good as being a trafficker, and being a literati and poet is not as good as being a doctor who walks the rivers and lakes with a medicine box.

Su Manshu often has such thoughts. He feels that he was born in the wrong age and shouldn't be born in this declining and chaotic world.It is said that heroes come out of troubled times, but he is very confused about what kind of person he is.As a monk, he is really not a promising eminent monk; as a man in the world, he has failed too many beauties; as a revolutionary pioneer, he also retired several times when the tide rose.Thirty years of time have been wasted like this, how many thirty years in life can let him waste like this?If he was allowed to return to the previous dynasty, would he be able to make a world-shattering career?He lamented that it took thousands of years for the sea to turn into a mulberry field, so why did he just meet him.The dynasty only changed once in hundreds of years, so why did it happen to him again.

He told himself that if time goes back ten years, he will be a monk with peace of mind, read scriptures and sit in meditation in the monastery, understand Buddhist principles, cook tea and sweep autumn leaves in his spare time; To act chivalrously, to be kind and friendly; or to be a suave and romantic poet, cooking wine with green plums and splashing wind and clouds on paper; even if you are an ordinary person, living in a simple hut with an ordinary cooker, counting the years quietly .In fact, this is just an excuse Su Manshu made for himself. Along the way, he has been looking for various excuses for his insanity and absurdity, or maybe each of us is looking for various excuses for our mistakes, in order to Cover up your inner cowardice and regret.

If time could really be turned back, we would still make the same mistakes, walk the same path, love the same people, and leave the same regrets.So cherish the present, forget the past, and look forward to the future, this should be what we have to do.Su Manshu feels that there are too many regrets in life. In fact, he has been walking according to his own heart, with little interference from the outside world. Even the regrets are brewed by himself.There is such a saying that temperament determines destiny, we cannot change our temperament, we just accept the destiny brought to us by our temperament, and have no complaints or regrets.People are always so unsatisfied, always feel that happiness is given to others, and sadness is left to oneself.

In fact, what is the real regret?It was you who had been in love with someone for a long time, and she left forever before expressing it; it was you who made a pot of tea, but it was cold before drinking it; A book is dead before it is finished.Coincidentally, Su Manshu happened to have such a regret in his life. In 1914, Su Manshu's novel "The Story of Red Tears at the End of the World" was published in the first issue of the first year of "National Magazine" published in Tokyo, but it was published to the second chapter, because the manuscript was not finished.This is a regret in Su Manshu's life. In fact, there are many unfinished things in his life, on the road of seeking Buddha, emotionally, and on the road of revolution...

Before death, people always have many unfulfilled wishes. There are people who need to be loved, unfinished things, unfinished chess games, and a flower that needs to be watered every day.Eileen Chang once said that there are three hatreds in life: the first hates that the crabapple has no fragrance, the second hates the prickly crucian carp, and the third hates the unfinished red building.The seemingly simple hatred has nothing to do with oneself, and it does not hurt the skin, but it makes people sigh.Everyone has their own loves and hates, and their own regrets. We regret and sigh for others in our lifetime, and after a few years, there will be people who will be sad for our regrets.Just like Eileen Chang, she hated the Red Chamber unfinished, and how many people are hating her lost manuscripts.A generation of talented women died in a foreign country, and what accompanied her was a bright moon in a foreign country.When she died alone, how many people's hearts were affected?

When Cao Xueqin wrote the book due to poverty and illness, she didn't know that she would die before the end of the work, let alone that this book would become a masterpiece in the world and win the tears of generations.He did not enjoy any glory brought to him by this book during his lifetime, but after his death he took up all the fame.If we talk about regret, is it the regret of thousands of readers, or the regret of Cao Xueqin?Many people are weeping for the fictitious characters in his book, and sighing for Bao Dai's imperfect love.How many people would pity Cao Xueqin's desolate situation when he wrote the book?In countless snowy nights, he spent his life alone in the simple hut to boil blood and tears.When he died, he was wrapped in a straw mat and buried in a weedy mountain forest. Decades of painstaking effort could not even replace a tombstone.

What a sad life, a person came to the world cleanly, tasted love and hatred, but always ended in a tragic way.But I don't understand why there are still so many fights and so much filth in this world.Knowing that in the end it's just a pile of vegetation and a handful of dust, but still refuses to let it go.Those who enter Buddhism either really see through life and death, or are entangled in common love, and their ultimate goal is to seek liberation.Whether you fall into the vortex of emotion or the swamp of fame and fortune, you are asking for pain.Since I couldn't be calm, I had no choice but to tear off the pages of the book of life. No matter what kind of story was arranged, as long as I finished it myself, I would have no regrets.

Su Manshu's "The Story of Red Tears at the End of the World" is not his masterpiece, but an ordinary work in his life, which makes people feel regretful because it was not finished.The pity is not this book, but this unpredictable life creates accidents every day, and every day there will be uncontrollable deaths.Su Manshu didn't know that time would be so close, just like we don't know which day will come to the end of our lives.Maybe we don't need to know what is written in this book, because it is destined not to be a famous book, but we just know that it once existed, and that it will always carry irreparable incompleteness.

It is said that life is more beautiful because of its incompleteness, but the begonia without fragrance is more enchanting and eye-catching, the crucian carp spines are more delicious and mellow, the red building is more sentimental when it is not finished, and life is more intriguing when there is hatred.Perhaps because of his many illnesses in recent years, Su Manshu sighed more frequently than before.His pale face couldn't hide his elegant demeanor, and his lonely mood couldn't extinguish his feelings from yesterday.He knows that he is a person who wakes up the world, and he knows that many endings are lonely. He laughs at others who are obsessed with obsession in this world, but he doesn't know that he is the most stupid person.

In 1915, the 32-year-old Su Manshu stayed in Japan with the revolutionary party and wrote the "Three Revolutions Inscription" for Feng Ziyou.A man in his prime, a talented person who can breathe out smoke, even if he has any reason, he can't escape from the world, just like a wild goose and play with the white clouds.He must use his wings to cover his weak scars, and he must dominate the wind and clouds under the vast blue sky and move across the four fields.He didn't know how many people admired his talent, and those who admired him didn't know that Su Manshu had always been envious of their simplicity.In fact, everyone has stories, legends, and unknown sorrows. This year, the pen in Su Manshu's hand never stopped. He wrote at his desk alone in many stormy nights.In July, Su Manshu published the novel "Jiangsha Ji" in "Jiayin Magazine" edited by Zhang Shizhao.In August, he wrote the novel "The Story of Burning the Sword", which was also published in "Jiayin Magazine".There are too many stories in the world waiting for him to express, so that those who are addicted can wake up, and those who don't understand can realize.Be a person who picks the thorns, pick the thorns in the heart of the dead, be a bell-breaker, and untie the knots entangled in the world. Don't complain that you were born in the wrong age. Even if a time machine sends you to the age you want to live in, it's just to re-watch the world's scenery and reenact the world's sorrows and joys.People come to the mortal world to eliminate evil. Although moths are flying into the flames, the momentary light can wake up the whole world.Tell the shadow when no one tells it, because only it can prove that you have really been here in this turbulent world, and you have had a journey of ups and downs.