Chapter 72 second quarter

Ever since Huang Yifan left Shanghai in 1948, Zhang Ailing had not seen her mother for ten years.However, they have always kept in touch. Her mother planned her return to Hong Kong for her, and specially asked her to ask her old friends Wu Jinqing and his wife for help after she went to Hong Kong.Her mother had made arrangements for her all her life, no matter how far apart they were, and not as close as other mothers and daughters, but Eileen knew that her mother was there, there when she needed her .She is her mother, her guardian angel, always there to help her, to guide her, to help her.

However, in the autumn of 1957, an urgent telegram came from London—my mother was critically ill and was about to undergo surgery.It was a bolt from the blue.Aileen was almost knocked out. She knew that this telegram was more a plea than a notification—the mother wanted to see her for the last time—everyone knew what the operation meant.However, can she afford a plane ticket to England?She hasn't even obtained her American identity yet, so how can she leave as soon as she says she can? The only thing she can do is write a sincere letter of love and send it to her mother with a check for one hundred dollars. Besides, there is only sincere prayer and blessing every night——Lord, please bless my mother and my mother. Husbands, let their love not leave me so soon!

However, the prayers failed to keep the mother alive, and the fear finally came true-Huang Yifan died shortly after the operation, leaving Ai Ling forever.Only one box was left for her, which came across the ocean from far away London. On the day the box arrived, Aileen sat on the carpet for a long time, leaning against her mother's box, as if leaning on her arm, silent and motionless, but her eyes gradually narrowed, without tears, but condensed. With a dreamy smile. She seems to have been seeing the blue-green mother long, long ago. It was a cloudy afternoon, and the young Huang Yifan was sitting at the table in front of the window, coloring her daughter's photos with concentration, stroke by stroke, as if Outline her life.Later, she wore blue-green clothes and left on a steamship. Before she left, she lay on the bed and wept bitterly, her shoulders trembling like a restless ocean. That was the mother in Xiaoying's four-year-old memory;

At the age of eight, my mother returned to China for the first time, wearing fashionable clothes, combing beautiful hairstyles, speaking fluent English, singing or reciting poems while holding her aunt's shoulders; Crossing the road seems to say, it’s too late, it’s too late, hurry up, if you’re late, you won’t be able to catch up.It turned out that she was going to send her to school, and she was named Ai Ling. The way she put her chin in her hand to name her daughter was so cute. That was the mother Xiaoying remembered when she was ten years old.From then on, Xiaoying was called Ailing.

Ailing's eyes gradually filled with tears, as if she heard someone calling her affectionately from a distance: "Ying." Ying, no one calls her Ying anymore.Mother left, never to color her photos, never to hold her hand across the street, all she left with her was a vulgar name and this familiar old box. She stroked the box, snuggled up gently, looking for her mother's arms and warmth. I remember that when she was eighteen years old, she escaped from her father’s house and went to her mother. Her mother’s life was already very difficult, but she still used the money to hire a tutor for her, raised tuition for her to go to Hong Kong, and entrusted her old friend. Li Kaidi was her guardian; when she was studying in Hong Kong University, her mother went to Europe via Hong Kong and lived in Repulse Bay. She often picked her up to play and introduced her to her friends; , thin and haggard, it made her heart ache, until now, when she thinks of her mother, she still remembers that haggard appearance, and she still hears her aunt lamenting in a daze: "It's so miserable! So thin!"

Aileen's tears finally fell, and they flowed down silently. She always felt that her mother was always there, no matter how far away she was, but when she needed her, her mother would come and help her. , will arrange for her.If she is really desperate one day, she can always go to her mother. However, now that her mother is gone, she will never arrange her life path again, correct her walking posture or the way she looks at people, and will not analyze men and politics for her. She refuses to accompany her on the journey any longer. Only this box was left for her. This was the last figure of her mother, she was really reluctant to open it, as if she was afraid that once she opened it, her mother's aura would dissipate quickly.

Mother's breath, mother's figure, mother's blue-green. Throughout Eileen Chang's life, although she and her mother were often separated, the shadow of her mother has always been with her, and she has left shadows everywhere in her works. The heroine Bai Liusu is the daughter of a poor old man, a divorced woman who is about 30 years old, and her identity is already very similar. She also went to Hong Kong from Shanghai and lived in Repulse Bay. She came to Hong Kong for the first time. Waiting for Fan Liuyuan under the eaves of the corridor, behind her is an umbrella with a pattern of pink ground stones and green lotus leaves; the second time I came to Hong Kong, it was a rainy day, and she was wearing a green glass raincoat. Liuyuan went to pick her up at the pier, describing her like a medicine bottle Later, they rented a house, and the doors and windows were also painted with green paint. She stuck her fingertips on the wall, and put a green mark on it—the girl in green clothes in the novel is always a bit willful, and she is also like Yifan.

Wang Jiaorui in "Wang Jiarui" is "wearing a robe that drags the floor, which is the most vivid wet green, and it will be stained green when it is stained. She moves a little, as if there is a green spot on the air she occupied just now." Traces." Such a domineering green, polluted the air of Aileen's life.This is not enough, but the gown has to be split an inch and a half on both sides, crossed with green satin all the way, revealing the deep pink petticoat inside. The too harsh tone makes people suffer from color blindness if they look at it for a long time .” ——Aileen's whole life was entangled by such green satin. She saw the bright wet green all her life. The wetness was because she was blinded by too many tears.

Among all her mother's clothes, Aileen's favorite is a dark green linen knee-length dress, which Yifan stepped on the sewing machine herself. It has a V-neck and narrow sleeves that do not reach the elbow. The most common women's clothing in various countries, but my mother looked delicate and delicate in it - she was such an international beauty. Therefore, all the beauties in Ailing's novels like to dress themselves in green, especially the green in the wind, the artistic conception of "floating": Weilong in "The First Incense" appeared in a emerald blue bamboo cloth shirt of the late Qing Dynasty style, and later became a courtesan, and changed into a porcelain blue thin silk cheongsam to date Qiao Qi, a red copper shirt sprinkled with rust green Polka dots, one-color baotou; Liyan Danzhu came out of the ball wearing an emerald green velvet cape with a hood attached to it; Gu Manzhen also wrapped his head in a green wool scarf when the wind was blowing; In ", it is clearly written that Qin Xiya wears a "fine plaid coat, and the green handkerchief in the pocket rhymes with the green of the shirt".

——Green is to Eileen Chang, just like the beauty of rhyme leaves in ancient poems. Green beauty is everywhere, and the shadow of mother is everywhere. However, from now on, the green beauty left her forever.Just leave this box. Aileen put her hand on the button of the box, and as if she had finally made up her mind, she opened it slowly and slowly, and there was a box full of antiques, as well as other relics and photos, which were dazzling and fragrant. As soon as the box was opened, there seemed to be a sad breath escaping quickly, and it immediately permeated, covering the whole room.

Aileen couldn't bear it anymore, she fell on the edge of the box and wept bitterly.It wasn't until this moment that she could believe that her mother had really left her.And the sad atmosphere permeating the box was the last hug she gave her. She has always been alone, but from this day on, she is a veritable orphan. Laiya hid behind the door and peeked at his wife, feeling sorry for her sadness and weakness, but he knew that she needed to vent and be alone, and he couldn't disturb her last time with her mother. He once heard Aileen say that when her mother's mother passed away, her mother and her twin brother divided the property and got a box of antiques.Later, she traveled across the ocean, and although she tried to do many jobs, her main source of income was always selling antiques.She once bought an iron box of snake skins in Malaysia, planning to start a leather goods business; she fled to India after the Pearl Harbor incident, and worked as the secretary of Nehru's sister; When I was at my worst, I even went to a factory to work as a leather bag worker... ——I didn't expect that after selling antiques all her life, she could still save this box for her daughter. It can be seen that she has been struggling and wants to be self-reliant.She has also been struggling to pursue love, but there is also no good ending. Her life was really lonely and vicissitudes. Now, she has left these remaining antiques to her daughter. Will her loneliness and vicissitudes be passed on to her daughter along with this box?