Chapter 9 Section five

In 1937, the annual magazine "Fengzao" of St. Mary's Girls' School (the seventeenth issue in total) provided us with a very intelligent and agile image of Eileen Chang, which was not very different from the memory of most people, including her teacher Wang Hongsheng. Same.Ms. Gu Shuqi, who has been a classmate with Zhang Ailing from the first year to the third year of high school, saved the precious school magazine. The sixteen-mo volume is finely printed on Daolin paper, with exquisite binding and lively layout. The content is divided into two parts, including school overview, teaching staff introduction, Club activities, student assignments and graduate messages, etc., can clearly see the grace and glamor of an old-style aristocratic school.

The school magazine is usually edited by senior students.Zhang Ailing not only contributed three articles to this issue of the school magazine, but also worked as an assistant in the art department, contracting most of the illustrations, which shows that she was quite enthusiastic about group activities at that time. There are photos of thirty-five graduates printed on it, and of course Zhang Ailing's, with short hair and her head slightly lowered, as if in deep thought.There is also a sexual orientation test entitled "A Bowl of Assorted Douban Soup". Fried rice with char siew", the favorite is "Edward VIII" who doesn't love the country and beauty, the most afraid of "death", the most hated "a talented woman suddenly gets married", and the words that are often said are "I forgot again! ", his specialty is "painting".

——Those casually filled texts let us see a living Zhang Ailing, so sensitive and intelligent, with a clear distinction between likes and dislikes, and a tough personality. In another "talk more" column, we saw another line of her message: "You can 'forget' everything, but don't 'forget' even me." ——I don't know whether to tease her own forgetfulness, or a humorous farewell.That line of precious pen writing is now one of the few authentic handwritings of Zhang Ailing. The font is round, the strokes are clear, there is no adhesion, and the childishness is still there. It reminds people of the photos she took when she was four years old.

Gu Shuqi once asked every student to leave a message for herself in the school magazine. Eileen Chang wrote: "Tell Yu Shan for me, only it, the quiet and magnificent one, is worthy to be your partner; and only you, the innocent and spunky you, are worthy to be her fellow countryman. Ai Ling." ——Gu Shuqi spent her girlhood in Changshu. When she was studying in a girls' school, the whole class went to Changshu for three days. Gu Shuqi regarded herself as a guide.And Yushan is a scenic spot in Changshu. Zhang Ailing thought it was "quiet and magnificent", which left a deep impression on her, so she came up with this passage.This also allows us to see a careful, gentle, sincere and friendly Zhang Ailing.

Her messages are thoughtful, not perfunctory, not hypocritical, and not out of the ordinary—and looking at the messages of other students, most of them are "I wish you a bright future! A memory of a senior sister", "Work while working, study When learning", "Learning is like sailing against the current, if you don't advance, you will retreat", or copy an English poem, the most commonly used one is "In the garden of your memories, plant me A forget-me-not flower"... Not only to Gu Shuqi, but also to all the students, she also left her best wishes - more than 30 portraits of the graduating students in that issue of the school magazine were all drawn by her, and the head portraits of the students were combined with cartoons Speaking of it, the creativity is very interesting, and the style of painting is also very smart.

She painted herself as a prophet looking at a crystal ball, and painted on it her impression of each classmate and the future she wished for, and asked them to be photographers, scientists, and knights with a whip , some held a shield to be a samurai, some worked as a fashion store manager, and some flew a plane to the moon—more than 30 years earlier than the American "Apollo". Those cartoon sketches show her great talent for drawing - no wonder she put "painting" in her "good things", and she really deserves the name. Zhang Ailing's interest in painting can actually be traced back to a long time ago.

When she was very young, she wanted to be a painter, but she hesitated to be a musician.However, most painters do not become famous until after death. Van Gogh's paintings are invaluable, but when he was alive, they were only used to paste chicken coops.When she was nine years old, she watched a film about poor painters and cried a lot, so she gave up the idea of ​​becoming a painter and decided to be a pianist, playing in a magnificent concert hall. She learned the piano for five years, but later, because her stepmother was unwilling to spend any more money to pay the expensive tuition fees of a Belarusian pianist, she insisted on replacing her with a Chinese gentleman.Mr. Xin has new rules for teaching the piano, which overturns what Aileen has learned before, leaving her at a loss.At the same time, in order to give his father a gift, he simply walked to the cigarette couch and said loudly to him: "I don't want to learn piano anymore."

Sure enough, the father and Zhang Zhan were very happy, because they could save their tuition fees to buy opium.But my aunt feels pity for her, because she has been studying for so many years.She asked her: "Then what do you want to do when you grow up?" Aileen replied: "I want to draw cartoons." She was really sorry for disappointing them so badly. She draws very well.There are three articles written by her in Chinese and English in the school magazine. The first one is "On the Future of Cartoon Painting"—— "The term cartoon has only a history of less than ten years in China. However, there is probably no one who loves watching movies who doesn't know Walt Disney's 'Mickey Mouse'?——The original meaning of cartoon includes all single satirical cartoons, current affairs cartoons, life cartoons, serial cartoons, etc., but the cartoons I am talking about here refer specifically to the kind of moving pictures that are projected on the screen."

"The cartoons of the future are not just mindless entertainment for children. The cartoons of the future will reflect real life, carry forward the ideas of genius, introduce news of great adventures, and instill interesting knowledge." "The value of cartoons is definitely lower than that of movies. If movies are the little sisters of literature, then cartoons are another lovely little sister of Yuxue that the goddess of the 20th century bestowed on literature and art. We should do our best to cultivate her and give her Another brilliant page has been added to the history of human art development."

These words of hers have now become reality—she is indeed a prophet looking at a crystal ball. She even foretells her own future. In the other two articles "Shepherd's Sketch" and "Shepherd's Sketch" published in the same issue, she expressed her deep feelings for her alma mater. Ordinary white stone with added chisel", but must be a marvelous statue "worthy of Michelangelo's splendor". She wrote in: "Time is like a sharp knife - when it is misused, it can carve deep lines on a beautiful face and wear away blooming youth month by month, year after year; but, if it is used well, It can carve a simple stone into a magnificent statue."

"If I live to gray old age, I shall seek, in quiet sleep by the fireside, the paths through the green plum groves I knew in my early days. Of course, then, too, the young plum trees of today must have entered In his old age, he stretched out his powerful arms to cover the vertical and horizontal paths. The ancient bell tower, which has been weather-beaten, will still stand in the golden sunlight, and emit the bells that are so familiar to my ears." "I can also hear the ancient bell tower echoing in prayers, as if answering them in a low voice: 'Yes, compared with other schools in China, Santa Maria's dormitory may not be the largest. It may not be the most beautiful, but she undoubtedly has the best and most studious little girls, and they will honor their alma mater with their brilliant careers in the future!' How I feel when I hear this will depend on whether I have accomplished anything in my post-graduation years.If I have not done my duty and lost the right to honor my alma mater, I will feel ashamed and remorseful.But if I succeed on the road of striving for my goal, I can smile with relief, because I also have a part to use the knife of time to carve the image of a beautiful school life-although my contribution is so insignificant. " (Translated by Chen Zishan) — She is indeed a credit to her alma mater. After becoming famous, Ke Ling's wife, Chen Guorong, taught in the middle school after graduating from Hujiang University. Teachers and classmates at the school often pointed out to her: Well, that's where Eileen Chang sits—they were all proud of her. Today's St. Mary's Girls' School has been classified as Donghua University.The teaching building is still there, painted with a layer of soft yellow, with castle-like arches, and the cloister connecting the dormitory, so you won’t get your shoes wet when you walk in it on rainy days; the dormitory is in Roman style, with a small courtyard and wooden floors , small beds one by one; the church is still there, the windows are entangled in creeper vines, and the whole building is covered in blue and green vines—that is Eileen Chang’s favorite color. Generations of "Zhang fans" go on pilgrimage. ——And these, when she wrote, seemed to have been predicted. She predicted that she would succeed and honor her alma mater. She even predicted that she would leave Shanghai in her old age, and she could only return to the familiar campus in her dreams. Trail, looking for Merlin back then. Zhang Ailing, Zhang Ailing, is your dream soul back?Where is the campus at that time?Where is Merlin back then?Where is the bell from that year?Where is the dream back then? You once said: "If I don't want to part with China - I'm already homesick before I leave home." He also said: "I don't want to study abroad, I like Shanghai where I live." "I belong to Shanghai." ——If you love your family like this, once you leave, you never want to come back, and even your remains are thrown away in a foreign land.What broke your heart?