Chapter 25 Guo Degang's classic quotations

I'm all red?No one notified me! ? A lot of people came, I am very pleased. Deserve it, die~~~~~ I want my life I'm doing your business Well, looking at your shameless appearance, it has the charm of my youth. Student Guo Degang pays tribute to my parents Say one more thing?tell the truth A lot of cross talk is made up, but this one is true. Since everyone likes it, let me tell you another one~~~~ Why don’t I remember that I said one? Are you willing to listen, are you willing to listen, or are you willing to listen? Don't make booing while listening to cross talk~~~ Listen to cross talk thirty, 12,000 booing, three games in one session, these few go to make up the ticket

These people who are making trouble have all donated money to God 7, right? i'm a second hand scientist Sometimes if I make a mistake, I can learn two paragraphs again! Six grenades for one yuan, I will throw you one hundred yuan first! Hire ten men with red hoops, I scold them every day science is rigorous I'm a good scientist I have been an artist for over a week~~~~~ I don't bully!Bully me, no! Coughing is not just about collecting money~ Hooligans know martial arts, no one can stop them Thank God for my stew (Speaking of the big girl) Wearing jingle bells as they walk, "Dada ~ Dada and Da Da and Da Da ~~~~~~~~~"

Get a little real, a little ergold Tong County is an inalienable part of our territory! If you don't leave your master here, you have your own place to keep your master; if you don't leave your master everywhere, you will go to the railway. poor health Beg for food, beg for food, I beg for food today No, you, why, oh, I'm so anxious The law doesn't matter, I would have killed him long ago To bid farewell to these days of white clothes coming and going like the wind, the 85-year-old resolutely put on a wig and went back to vulgarity Thank you all for encouraging me alone!

The sky is cold and the hydrangea is rolled on the ground. Those with stuffing are steamed stuffed buns. Those without stuffing are steamed buns. Looking at beauties under the lamp, the more you look, the more spiritual you will be! Obeying the law is always sad, and the strong beam sings happily every night.Riding a horse and mule at the expense of others and benefiting oneself, starving for justice and justice.Bridges are repaired, roads are blinded, and there are many murders and arson.I went to the Western Paradise and asked the Buddha, and the Buddha said - I have no problem. Take a taxi, let’s not take a taxi for 1.6 yuan, let’s take a taxi for 1.2 yuan! I don’t sit in the front, you have to pay the bill!

Friends on the third floor....... Hello!!! (Tianqiao Le Tea Garden only has the second floor) Is there such a sentence in the background? This thing is amazing I hate it If you lend me a knife, I'll shoot you to death! (Description of a beautiful MM walking) Wind swings lotus leaves, rain beats plantains Zhi'er takes a sip of the wine and a sip of the vegetables Forgive me for being in armor, so I can't give you a full gift! What did the circus teach with bears? Fifteen people riding a bicycle taught what? Peking opera Sanchakou taught? Since cross talk is so capable, why can’t our income increase? Let cross talk educate people, that’s inhumane! Rao Come on!

Listening to cross talk shows that you are patriotic!If you make a toilet bowl, who would dare to eat it!I love you, so who the hell loves me! It's time for me to hit him, can I hit him a few more times?Can I hit a dick? You are going crazy, you are going crazy! I am so beautiful for you The true feelings from the voice-cracking show~! ! I put down the butcher knife, you spare me not to die~~~ When you grow up, I am your father I'm against hitting on stage, I'm against hitting me on stage Go out and scan and listen! A couple of days is a hundred days of kindness, and a couple of a hundred days is like the depths of the sea.Sea cucumbers are more expensive than shrimps, and shrimps can be bought for fifty pounds a catty.

I hate it! Thousands of years of cultural heritage, a lifetime of learning and tempering, bring you momentary joy and intoxication, this is Quyi Wine is food, the more you drink, the younger you will be.Wine is father, food is mother, drinking to death is better than shooting. I am not grateful to my cross talk colleagues, without them I would have become popular eight years ago! ! New students register, take care of them, clear the way in front, and fire guns in the back Nowadays, there are not many people who tell single-mouthed long stories. One person can’t tell, but these two people can still argue with each other. How can this person talk, spoiling himself? Inappropriate

I hate you every day, every day, every day! Four Great Masterpieces: Water Margin, Three Kingdoms, Talking about Beijing, Guo Degang Crosstalk Selection Everyone has their own preferences, some like to listen to cross talk, some don't like it, if you don't like it, we don't force it, just send someone to bring the ticket money. There are also many people scolding me, scolding me in four or six eight sentences, which brings me endless fun I am very pleased, they have stimulated the potential of their classical literature and poetry by scolding me This is the confession of an ordinary cross talk actor... I will put it in elementary school textbooks from now on

Can think of so many that I adore myself Hey, it's amazing how I got there.I'm a superman, I'm a superman, but the pants are worn inside The legacy of the patriarch: There are dates and no dates to hit three poles Why are you? Interesting! Ladies and folks My Bodhisattva Buddha Allah God Virgin Mary I'm all seated, I want to supersonic Sing the truth more than 16,000 times Beasts in the mountains, swallows in the clouds, cattle and sheep on land, seafood from the sea, hericium bird's nest, shark's fin, scallops with bear's paw and deer's tail tip!Shake off the cheeks and lift the back molars.The food is like the flowing water of the Yangtze River, like the wind and clouds, just like being dumped in a box...

Pancake rolls and steamed buns are eaten with rice Are there any two-foot lobsters?I'm sorry there are no two-foot-long lobsters, only two-foot-two ones. What kind of broken restaurant doesn't even have two-foot-long lobsters. Here's a plate of shredded potatoes. English, Japanese, Korean, South Slavic, North Slavic, West Slavic...can speak foreign languages ​​from 8 countries, and they don't have to repeat the same thing when they swear at the street with the Eight-Nation Allied Forces Once I got drunk and ate one and a half chicken feet with chopsticks Qianqing palace guard with scissors

White House stringer Bush has a secretary named Wang Fugui The lock can be opened by poking a noodle, and a pack of instant noodles can open a community. A beer or two, four nuts, wait a minute... There is no major problem, but there are minor disasters: SARS, AIDS, cancer Add ten bucks for oil! I wear six pairs of cotton trousers during the day, have to move my legs up the stairs, and take off the door at night when I sleep.You need to check it on the train, this thing is considered a murder weapon.I haven't eaten for several days, everyone looks like a pancake Do you know which university professors, great writers, heroes, chiefs of that African tribe, and empresses of any country are under this stage? Under this stage is Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon The whole Northeast stewed head... Walking and walking, hey, there was a question mark in front of him, and Liu Bei jumped up, "Deng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng Leng!"Going forward, there is another one, a question mark, a touch, and a flower comes out. After eating the flower, Liu Bei raises his hand, "Doo toot toot toot" can shoot bullets! coming. Master, do you want a plate? What do you think the White House Cultural Bureau is doing? There are about 30 people in the old Zhang family with four generations in the same house, and it costs one yuan to eat rice dumplings. Your marriage is very unfortunate. When you were 4 years old, your family made a baby marriage for you. The girl was also young, she was 51? … Later, when you were middle-aged, you got married twice. The first time, the woman was taken back by the boss; the second time, the woman became your apprentice’s wife. Spend a dollar to buy a bottle of mineral water, drink a sip and throw up, fake!What's the matter?Watered down!that was water From now on, I will never eat lobster again! Looks like the scene of a car accident It looks like "Ultraman" Thin as a Capricorn The girl looked at you contemptuously, and brushed the four hairs together. Flight 901 departs from Xizhimen to Daxing Huangcun, the fare is 5 yuan, please board the plane When a celestial girl descends to earth, it is the face that hits the ground first. "When I have money, I hire an army of 5,000 people to protect me. I call them Xiao Di, they call me Big Brother, I am Tongluowan Anti-Bazi, and my chief of staff is called Pheasant." The family is rich and drives a 13-door Cadillac.As soon as you hear the sound, you know it is a good machine, imported from Germany, "chug chug", oh, three jumpers.As soon as it started driving, black smoke rose from half of Beijing, and the traffic policeman shouted at you: "Elder Sun, take away your supernatural powers." No matter where you eat or where you live, you don’t care if you pick up or receive a gift of 15 yuan for the performance fee and 70% of the tax will be deducted. A few years ago, in the opera "Purando" directed by Zhang Yimou, we had to find four comedians who all wore coats and bald heads like Mr. Wang to go to that station: hard work! Please, garlic must not be eaten as a staple food We have to help when we have difficulties, and we also need to help when there are no difficulties! On the other side of the mountain and the other side of the sea there is a Guo Degang~~~~ (Learn to sing the theme song of "The Smurfs") "Why can't the stars in the sky be shot when fireworks are set off? Because the stars can shine." "This question is too profound." I'm from Onion University A face of hair care The three old men take their meals with them when they take a bath——after they finish eating, they swipe their lunch boxes Attacking left and right, 1400 big mouths, this face looks like it doesn't want money "HELLO, HELLO, uncle, I want to ask you something! What are you doing? Where is this? Tieling! Oh, just arrived in the Northeast! Do you know how to go to America? Who knows about that thing!Ask the village head! I guess he doesn't know! Is this still an estimate?Just don't know! From a botanical point of view he doesn't know I have been driving it for more than a year, filled up more than 10,000 times, and arrived in the United States. " There are still several stops between Tieling and the United States! "Time slips away like a spun yarn - the book hides..." "Hey! You are good! You will be Xu Zhimo for a while, and Shan Tianfang for a while" I'll try your article - put less cinnabar! My words are 2 yuan a piece, why is it so cheap? It is convenient for the people, is it geared towards wages (actually refers to the 2 yuan of biscuits) Printing counterfeit banknotes, I went to the Industrial and Commercial Bureau to ask, and they won't give me a photo We have a senior who went out to rob a bank, robbed 1.8 million in one go, and drove to the North Third Ring Road. It was exactly 5:30 in the afternoon, and when the police came, the grandson was still stuck there. I grant you to walk outside the fourth ring and fly outside the fifth ring Every time I walk, I always say "da~da~ lida~ a lida, I guess all the storytellers learned from her later. Yu Qian: Ah, sir, the matter of Soochow crossing the river, you have suffered a lot—— Guo Degang: Hey, it’s going to be a long story when I mention this (Peking opera narration)—(Changed to the allegro) In 1953, the conspiracy and peace talks of the U.S. imperialists were exposed. They conspired with North(?) and South Korea, Wu Songhe—— See if there is a piece of cake under the opposite hillside, go and pick it up! Donkey meat fire, fire donkey meat, donkey meat plus fire, fire plus donkey meat, donkey fire international hotel The third child is talking about a project in Baoding. He has researched a high-tech thing, that is, donkey meat is not caught in the fire—— For someone like you, you have to shoot first, then ask! It’s about the same as me. My head hurts all over my body and my stomach hurts. I went to the toilet and didn’t want to eat anything. I vomited after eating sugar cane Military man tightly armed with belt Hey~~ Once there was an opportunity to make money in front of me, but I didn't cherish it. I regretted it when the opportunity passed. If God gave me a chance, I would like to say to the village chief: "I am willing to go", if If I want to add a limit in front of that salary, I hope it will be: "400 yuan." The small one is Einstein's skull when he was a child Renamed to Yu Jinhua, remember that when the wind is blowing, don’t lower the billboard, otherwise it will become Zha Jinhua when you take pictures I gave him 4,000 yuan, and I went to see the director, and I saw that it was fake. how is it fake Liar, not even a beard. Who is the most capable among the three kingdoms: Guo Degang! I am the father of Grandpa Lantern Riddles A very high-tech lantern riddle: 呲啦—the crotch is torn.It is very literary and can be compared with Kunqu Opera. The bird follows the phoenix and flies far away, and the company of good people is self-exalting. Zhu Bajie played in Journey to the West, Zhu Bajie played in Journey to the West, Zhu Bajie played in Legend of Monkey King, Zhu Bajie played in Star Brilliant Zhu Bajie On a sunny afternoon, my girlfriend, Miss Prejudice, and I were sitting at 31 flavors ice cream shop in Brazzaville, Congo.The snowball I asked for, I watched her eat up the one in front of me spoon by spoon, I hated it so much!He glared at her viciously. If there is prejudice, you will be hurt if you play this microphone (prejudice is squinted) A thin horse with long hair and fat hooves, a son who steals his father is not considered a thief, a blind uncle married a blind old grandmother, the couple have spent most of their lives, neither one has seen the other... I have money, eat noodles, ramen, a wide bowl and a thin bowl... Look at this girl, oh! She is so beautiful, ah, her face is like an apple, her mouth is like a cherry, her cheeks are like a pear, her eyes are like grapes, this girl has a fruity head Tian Er rushed his head down and ran to Maluyazi. Maluyazi was made of stone. He used his head to make a slight contest with the stone, and Tian Er lost. There's a professor living in your basement If it's more lively, let's get angry at the pancake (shoe) shop at the entrance Guo Degang: As soon as he arrived, he took on a good job, building a chimney of more than 70 meters!Yu Qian: Really good!Guo Degang: After getting up early and working late at night to finish the work, they will come to check and accept, and they will not give us wages!Yu Qian: The quality is not good?Guo Degang: At the beginning, the drawings were taken upside down, and they asked to repair the well! Husband and wife live a good life~~~~ I eat pancakes here, and I don't even feel sorry for shooting your father over there. I picked up my pen and trembled for twenty minutes... I better stop writing, I don’t know how to read Empress, where is my empress?Mother, mother, mother! Now as long as there is a woman, she is my empress! At this time, the sky was covered with dark clouds, and a woman with a height of 1.9 meters appeared, who spoke just like Lu Zhishen! The paper made of toilet paper was presented, and when he received it, he said: "Hey, this paper is good, it looks like it has never been used!" Zhang Ergou savagely murdered his father 100,000 heads Underwear, long johns, shirts and trousers, fleece trousers, sweater trousers, cotton trousers, leather trousers, and 4 coats, with a vest over the coat!! Also ordered some dried noodles.Order wide strips, order thin strips, order longxu noodles, cook a bowl of pasta, and the ingredients for Dandan noodles. Big pockmarks cover small pockmarks, small pockmarks cover small pockmarks, there is a hole in the small pockmark, and there is a black spot in the hole, and a hair grows on the black spot, three rings cover the pockmarked moon It turns out that the earth looks like this! Wukong's grave Yu Qian, well, no matter how he is doing things or doing business on stage, to be honest, bah! ...No, a small bug came into my mouth just now... Yu Qian, what a character!Talking, learning and singing....It's okay The Taiping Lyrics will be the end of the single-handed meeting: Guan Yunchang just watched it and got angry!I scolded you as a thief, your name is Yu Qian Anyone who doesn't know Yu Qian has never eaten pork We are going to hold a "3rd Anniversary Event" for him this year We are going to let Yu Qian commit suicide to thank the world... Yu Qian's rich man in the cross talk world, thinking of Yu Qian's father, Mr. Wang,—— He was talking about his father just now, and his father is more fun Yu Laoqian, Yu Xiaoqian, Yu Shaoqian, Yu Youqian, Yu Zaiqian, Yu Huanqian... In my heart, Yu Qian is a perfect person... this person is finished Yu Qian's father is a great writer!I have written many books! There are many right and wrong in front of the widow's gate, Goodbye Ximen, and the sequel of Jin Ping Mei have also drawn illustrations! Older at home, if you don't pick up things in the aisle, you will lose them Yu Qian's house collapsed, so he saved a door and stood there. Yu Qian took out the key from his pocket, opened the door and looked inside, oh!really collapsed When we were in the Quyi Troupe, I was the first in the exam, with a score of 100!Regardless of whether it is 100 in learning, funny and singing, the teacher will write 100 if there is no test. Yu Qian no!He is stupid, he is always 30 and 25, and once he worked hard!Practice every day!I practiced for a week and took the test again, 17! How can a fortune teller pass the test?Someone told him: You can get 100 points in the test if you eat a fried dough stick and two eggs before the test.OK!After eating, I went to the exam. 0 points, he ate the egg first! Li Jing is such a good child Performing for you is Li Jing, the young leader of the Beijing Beggar Gang... My cell phone has a different ringtone, "Wake up people who don't want to be slaves..." It's from my wife. "Dad, I've answered the phone..." Hey, Li Jing—— Like Li Jing: Master, can you give me some water? Ben Sheng: Do you want water? Do you want to drink it? Or do you want it? Cold or hot? Learn from Li Jing: It’s fine if it’s cold, it’s fine if it’s hot, it’s fine if it’s neither cold nor hot (Li Jing gestures at Guo Degang with a prop gun and finishes) Guo Degang: Ah, for cross talk, we have to interact. This is not a classroom...Let’s talk about Li Jing! Our junior is really good! Yu Qian: Good man! Guo Degang: Good people are not necessarily good Hello!Help me find Axiu, (Xu Deliang answers the phone) Grandma, I'm looking for you! Guo Degang: Brother Di, I hope that the world will be peaceful, that the people of the world will live and work in peace and contentment, that the country will live in peace and the people will live in peace, and that there will be no war. Is that okay, eh? God thought about it, this is difficult, let’s be honest, I’m not that creative, really, I’m not going to tell you anything else, can you change it?Let's discuss something else.I felt a photo of Li Jing on my body, Brother Di, look at this, this is my senior brother——Li Jing, he looks rather cold, he can't be a match, you can make him more beautiful. God: (Thought for a while) let’s talk about world peace (tears up the photo) Guo Degang: Hey, why did you tear up the photo, ah?If you don't agree, you don't agree, why tear it up, I still keep it to avoid evil! A man on the ground corresponds to a watch in the sky.The good ones turn slowly, and the bad ones turn fast. What about Li Jing's?Not here, oh, but in God's house as a fan. I thought you bought this wig for processing, oh, it’s true This young man looks like an actor with his face covered... What kind of prison, juvenile prison, they are all gone, I can't find you Get to know your wife when you go up the kang, get to know your shoes when you get off the kang Shameless wanting to go to the Spring Festival Gala (Describing a woman as beautiful) That face looks like mine—it’s only a little thinner than mine You are called a chubby, sitting in a large round chair, the flesh of your body is stuffed into the empty space of the chair, it is completely filled, and you pull the chair down after standing up. One palm wide to protect the heart hair, and there is a hairtail tattoo on the chest I dare you to join the gang of beggars!Very well dressed! For you, everything is worth it except death Don't smoke, don't smoke, it's called choking, smoking relieves boredom, isn't it the same with a pair of socks? I asked him to burn the boiler, but I was afraid that he would steal coal This one is so famous!Men, women and children all know him!Hey what's your name?Don't say it!You call it swearing! How I learned how I taught you! That's great! I was taught to be a son ah? But why am I embarrassed about our relationship? That's not right Take at least two days My son's nickname is Xiaoshan, his son's nickname is Xiaohai Yu Hai doesn't sound good Your name is Qian (Qian), so add a wanzi in the middle of your son! Wan Hai, do you know what your father said? You are willing to marry such a girl, this is also a performance art Why not let Guo Degang play?Guo Degang must be allowed to play!If he doesn't play again, all my popsicles will be melted (it is said that the audience doesn't like to watch his performance, and they will go out to buy popsicles if he plays) Beijing Ba Ye, Beijing Ba Ye, Jing Ba Ye, Jing Ba Ye I think they're a piece of shit, you're not like them, you're two This person hates you, have you seen it? I won’t argue with him about this. It seems that I have no status to argue with him. Because of what, he is uneducated People walk to high places, urine flows to low places Iron pants, iron pants, our Russian pronunciation is different! It is said that the two love each other, so how can it be pork and pork? I can't stand reading this book~ Wear a fox coat in summer with no clothes underneath Little Pan! Little Pan? Golden Lotus—— I am the representative of Yujie Bingqing!I am a chastity woman, a professional chastity woman! 300, regardless of whether Jin Yong or the wife of the American embassy take 300 (300 bus) The Queen Mother cooked dumplings, and the Jade Emperor squatted at the door to wrap garlic Ximen Daguanren and Jin Lianer are very sincere love The old man has a big belly! If you want to eat a hamburger, wrap a piece of paper and uncover it; if you want to eat a crab, remove the cover; Blonde with eyes closed Armpits smell like cumin... Your son is usually very good, watching Jin Ping Mei with grandma Nowadays, if you want to do TV, the actress has to sleep with the male director, I am so cruel (what are you so cruel), you actresses have gone to sleep, what should we male actors do, there are too few female directors I wanted to be a relative with him, but his daughter liked me very much, but my son-in-law objected. Yu Qian met a lady on the road and negotiated the price with her, Yu asked: How much is it? Miss: one hundred At: Thirty Miss: fifty Yu:——(Patting his chest) I am Shi Fukuan's apprentice! Wang Wenlin, Mr. Wang, is the old gentleman with cool hairstyle (Wang Wenlin bald) The three old men are naked, only Zhang Wenshun wears glasses, and if you want to add a mask, it is a three-point style~ This girl is not to mention how good-looking she is, more than 400 catties, Yu Qian said, I will hug you little girl, this girl is so happy: you are so confident in yourself? ... My wife?Went to sleep with my brother.In fact, she is not someone else, she used to be my younger brother and sister. Facing the bathroom mirror: You are Superman, Guo Degang, you are an amazing person, you will be happy, bless you.As soon as you go out, a man comes out from the opposite room! Little girl! Give the old man a smile! Don’t you laugh? Then the old man will give you a smile! strong words I was wrong! I was wrong, what will you do to me! Can you manage it?did i ever tell you thisI can't beat you with this! I don’t accept it~~~~~~I don’t accept it and plant you in the garden! If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury you You beg me!You beg me, you are already human He scolds me, I take a step back, he scolds me again, I take another step back, there will be a wall behind me, and he still scolds, beat me! I'm already a saint, so why not? I am convincing! There are those who lack houses, cars, money, and morals She is beautiful, with a beard like Zhang Fei. When the five immortals cross the sea, the three immortals are braised There is only one tooth left, and the tooth is still stuck, eating lotus root You are in good health!It's okay to live another two months Well educated to be a hooligan~~ At first, I thought the carburetor was broken. After I checked, I realized that the pedals were loose. The handlebars are all made of silver, straight (gesturing), bent at both ends, with two rubber covers... or three jumpers! ! ? (After reading the two opening poems) In this Tang Poetry and Song Ci Appreciation Program... Cross talk pays attention to four homework: pit.Mongolian.turn.cheat! Everyone don't leave after the show, I invite everyone to dinner - whoever goes will pay. There are a total of more than 1,000 sections of traditional cross talk. After our hard work, there are only about 400 sections left... The cross talk is good!Carry forward the truth, goodness and beauty, musk righteousness Our patriarch——Qu Yuan! We have to support this type of drama? Tell that actor...marry me! Just support it like this! There is a fire under my desk all the year round, and my serious Liubiju... This matter is not far away from now, if you have old people at home, you can go back and ask -----During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period Said maid: bituminous coal, wintersweet, apricot plum, briquette If it is far away, it is a dog, and if it is close, it will not go away. If you beat it, it will not go away, if you scold it, it will not go away. If you pull it, it will go away—a wooden dog with wheels The house I live in is riddled with holes, and when it rains, it kills me: it rains moderately in the light rain outside, and it rains heavily in the heavy rain outside. Sometimes the rain is so heavy that the whole family goes to the street to shelter from the rain. Origin: After the eunuch (generation)~~ That day, there was a happy event at home...the house was on fire Fortunately, I fell to my death Those who live in Taiwan...there will be no car after 105 There are four dishes on the table, open the first one and look, huh! It’s so good! Peanuts in old vinegar! Open the second one, it’s even better! Peanuts in old vinegar! Open the third one, peanuts, no vinegar. Look, a plate of vinegar five star general corporal james The waiter gave me an early breakfast for 100 yuan!Sorry sir we don't buy half portions here. Take an apple to take a bath, in order to clean, wash in the pool, take a bite and wash Pump 500 catties of oil first, I...my gross weight is only 100 catties As soon as the master entered the door, the governor raised his head, "Hey, I'm here, I was just looking for you, today I want to discuss important national affairs with you", the master was happy when he heard that, the commander has never done this before, "Excuse me, my lord , what a big deal”, “Yesterday, I invented another one” ——Are you lying? - Nonsense, this is called robbery! Here's a steak, don't put beef, I love onions, put more onions Smoking fake cigarettes, drinking fake wine, watching match-fixing games, listening to fake singing, wearing fake brand names, and wearing fake headgear. Sit by the pool and eat apples, love cleanliness, take a bite and rinse "There's good news, there's bad news, which one do you listen to?" "What's the bad news" "We're lost, I don't know this place, and I guess we'll have to live on cow dung in the future" "Good news What about it?" "There's plenty of cow dung!!" It's a good day today, Liqiu, the day of posting autumn fat, I specially ate four taels of vegetarian fried pancakes at noon today, I believe everyone has also posted autumn fat.From next year, today will be National Day. Hello everyone, I am the host when the legal system is in progress, Brother Niu, I am very pleased that so many people have come "What line is the monkey most afraid of?" "High-voltage power lines, let alone monkeys, I am afraid of this." "No. I am most afraid of parallel lines, because they will never intersect (bananas)." "The first couplet is 'the wind blows the waves on the water', what is the second couplet?" "You're so stupid, you don't know how to make a copy and paste it over there." "I slapped the eyes with a demolition office (it seems to be a slip of the tongue) - slapped the table and stared." "Until we are blind." I am from Tsinghua University! Tsinghua Pool? Well, Tsinghua Pool is for bathing!You said it was from Hufang Bridge! What are you? I'm on the opposite side of the Huguang Guild Hall! Same! "Do you know where the ticket dealer is?" The policeman laughed—"I'll look for it too!" Send a plaque to his father, with four big characters written on it: "Thieves star Gaozhao" This jumping off a building, the 2nd floor is not the same as the 20th floor.How is it different? Jumping off the 2nd floor is bang... ah; jumping off the 20th floor is ah... bang His sword is cold, his knife is cold, his heart is cold, his blood is cold... This grandson is frozen If the emperor does this, he plays with dragons and phoenixes; if I do this, he parades in the streets. A Tang poem... Is this a Tang poem? This is a poem said by the old man who sells sugar at our door. I am the number one master at changing Tang poems and Jin characters. After a long time, you will know My parents are the best parents in the world. I can’t forget that they sewed my shoes and mended my socks. They can’t forget that they stole melons for me. They can’t forget to take me to fight in groups. Sun Tzu's Art of War, hey, this grandson thing... Fill a bowl of bean juice on the ground, and those who start cursing at the same time must be outsiders. When they get up, they ask: "Is there a burnt ring?" - Beijingers! Guo Degang: Now the state allows killing people.Yu Qian: That's called carrying people!