Chapter 23 Chapter Twenty-Three
I was sitting next to Groucho Marx at a dinner party.
I nodded at him and said, "I'm Sidney Shelton."
While enjoying the appetizer, he turned his head and glared at me, said "no", and continued to eat shrimp.
I was puzzled, "Why not?"
"You're a liar. I know Sidney Sheldon. He's handsomer and taller than you, and he's good at juggling. Can you juggle?"
"Won't."
"Isn't that what it is?"
"Mr. Max..."
"Don't call me Mr. Max."
"Then what would you like me to call you?"
"Sally. I read some of your writing."
"yes?"
"Yes. You should be ashamed of yourself." He looked me up and down again. "You are too thin. No matter who you are, bring your wife to my house for dinner tomorrow night. Don't be late again at eight o'clock."
I introduced Joa to Groucho and they hit it off right away.Thus began our lifelong association with Groucho. When entertaining guests at home, Groucho is always full of witty remarks, many of which are relished by the guests: "I find the TV very instructive, because every time someone turns on the TV, I will go to other things. Read a book in the room." "Books are man's best friend besides dogs. But dogs are too dark inside to read." "I had a fantastic night, but not tonight." "Marriage is a fine school, but who wants to live in it?" Once, he went to see a doctor.A young, beautiful nurse came up to him and said, "You're next. This way, please." Seeing the way her hips wriggled as she walked, Groucho said, "If I could If you go this way, you don’t need to see a doctor.” We met with Groucho often.As I got to know him better, I realized that people didn't really know him.Everyone found his laughing and cursing very amusing, and everyone was proud to be the object of his satire.But they didn't know that what Groucho said was all his true thoughts.He is deeply cynical and makes no secret of his true feelings. He had an unfortunate childhood and was forced out of school at the age of seven to perform on stage with his brothers.The Marx brothers made fourteen films together, and Groucho himself made five more alone. Groucho and I were walking down Rodeo Drive one day, and a guy came up to him and said, "Groucho, do you remember me?" Groucho said in his usual manner, "What did you do that reminded me of you?" Groucho hosts a television show called "Lucky Life".The show was so successful that it ran for eleven years, which is unbelievable.What makes the show so popular is that viewers never know what Groucho's next line will be. At one point, a participant on the show told Groucho that he had ten children. Groucho asked, "Why are there so many?" "I like my wife." Groucho said, "I like my cigar, but I don't smoke it all day."
One day, Groucho's eight-year-old daughter, Melinda, was invited by her classmates to play at a country club.Everyone put on their swimsuits and went swimming in the pool. The club manager ran up to Melinda and said, "Get out. Jews are not allowed in the water." Melinda ran home and told her father about it.Groucho called the club manager. "You're doing it unfairly," he said. "My daughter is only half Jewish, is it okay for her to go in the water from the waist down?" Groucho's wife, Eden Hartford, was a young actor.The two of us made an appointment to have dinner one night, but Eden and Joya were auditioning at a studio early the next morning. Groucho called me: "We're the only ones left for dinner. What do you think I should wear?" I said, "Groucho, we're going to a fancy restaurant, so don't embarrass me." "As ordered." I drove to pick him up.When the doorbell rang, he opened the door, wearing Eden's skirt, blouse, and high heels, smoking his own cigar.I pretended to be indifferent. He said, "How about coming in for a drink?" I said: "OK." We go in, Groucho starts making drinks, and the doorbell rings again.It turned out that he had invited the staff of the TV station to talk about his program, but now he had forgotten about it.He opened the door and let them in.We sat and chatted for a while, and then the TV people left. Groucho said, "I'll change my clothes." Then we went out to eat.
People in showbiz face the same problem - how to comment on a friend's disgusting script or performance.Here are some solutions that have stuck around over the years: "You can't do better..." "It's just a game..." "It's beyond words..." "You should have gone to the auditorium to see..." "I've never seen anything like this..." "Everyone will always remember this night..."
With The House of Dreams still a few months away, I think now is the perfect time to bring Joya back to Europe. Joya was as excited as I was.We sat down to discuss where we should go, London, Paris, Rome... Just then the phone rang, and it was Ladislos Bush Feckert from Munich.I haven't been in touch with Racine since Armored Alice ended, almost ten years ago.Kirk Douglas is a big star these days, and I'm glad I didn't ruin his career. Racine still had the thick Hungarian accent: "Sidney, are you okay? Marika and I miss you very much." "Very well, Racine. I miss you too." "When will you come to Europe?" "Seriously, we're leaving for Europe next week." "Great. You must come and see us in Munich, will you?" I thought for a second, "Of course. I also want to introduce Joya to you." "Great. Let us know when we have a time." "It's a deal." After hanging up, I told Joya, "It's Ramaslos Bush Fickett." Joya looked at me and said, "Alice in Armor." I smiled, "You'll like him, his wife is lovely, and Munich is beautiful, we must have a good time going there."
Just before we left, Sam Spiegel called. Sam Spiegel is one of the most colorful figures in Hollywood.He was born in Austria, came to Hollywood to sell Egyptian cotton cloth, and then went to Brixton prison for fraud.After returning to Hollywood, he determined to become a producer and changed his name to SP Eagle, so he became the laughing stock of the whole town. After hearing about him, Darryl Zanuck said: " I'm also going to change my name to ZA Nook." The jeers at him died down quickly, as Sam Spiegel did go on to produce a long list of Oscar-winning films, including Lawrence of Arabia, On the Waterfront and The African Queen. He often held various luxurious banquets, and I met him and became friends at one of the banquets. After his call, Joya and I had dinner with him.He said: "There is a foreign film that I may be interested in adapting. If you go to Paris, please help me watch it and tell me your impressions. I am very grateful." Three days later, Joya and I flew to New York.The Queen Mary we had booked set sail in a few days. There are several interesting musicals on Broadway -- Witches of Salem, Happyville, Picnic, The Seven Year Itch, and Dial-in Murder.Every time you step into the theater hall, the tide of the past will be clearly reproduced.Some of the plays that Ben Roberts and I wrote were staged in some of those theaters.A lot of incredible things happened after that, the most incredible of which was this: a movie I was directing starring Cary Grant was opening at Radio City Music Hall. One night, Joya and I went to see Arthur Miller's new play, The Witches of Salem, starring Arthur Kennedy, EG Marshall, Beatrice Strait and Madeleine Scher. wood.The performance that night was so exquisite that Joya was fascinated by it. When the curtain fell, she asked me, "Who is the director?" "Jed Harris, who also directed Uncle Vanya, A Doll's House, Our Town and The Rich Lady." "It's incredible." Joya exclaimed. "I hope to have the opportunity to work with him one day." I took her hand, "It's his pleasure."
Notes:
I introduced Joa to Groucho and they hit it off right away.Thus began our lifelong association with Groucho. When entertaining guests at home, Groucho is always full of witty remarks, many of which are relished by the guests: "I find the TV very instructive, because every time someone turns on the TV, I will go to other things. Read a book in the room." "Books are man's best friend besides dogs. But dogs are too dark inside to read." "I had a fantastic night, but not tonight." "Marriage is a fine school, but who wants to live in it?" Once, he went to see a doctor.A young, beautiful nurse came up to him and said, "You're next. This way, please." Seeing the way her hips wriggled as she walked, Groucho said, "If I could If you go this way, you don’t need to see a doctor.” We met with Groucho often.As I got to know him better, I realized that people didn't really know him.Everyone found his laughing and cursing very amusing, and everyone was proud to be the object of his satire.But they didn't know that what Groucho said was all his true thoughts.He is deeply cynical and makes no secret of his true feelings. He had an unfortunate childhood and was forced out of school at the age of seven to perform on stage with his brothers.The Marx brothers made fourteen films together, and Groucho himself made five more alone. Groucho and I were walking down Rodeo Drive one day, and a guy came up to him and said, "Groucho, do you remember me?" Groucho said in his usual manner, "What did you do that reminded me of you?" Groucho hosts a television show called "Lucky Life".The show was so successful that it ran for eleven years, which is unbelievable.What makes the show so popular is that viewers never know what Groucho's next line will be. At one point, a participant on the show told Groucho that he had ten children. Groucho asked, "Why are there so many?" "I like my wife." Groucho said, "I like my cigar, but I don't smoke it all day."
One day, Groucho's eight-year-old daughter, Melinda, was invited by her classmates to play at a country club.Everyone put on their swimsuits and went swimming in the pool. The club manager ran up to Melinda and said, "Get out. Jews are not allowed in the water." Melinda ran home and told her father about it.Groucho called the club manager. "You're doing it unfairly," he said. "My daughter is only half Jewish, is it okay for her to go in the water from the waist down?" Groucho's wife, Eden Hartford, was a young actor.The two of us made an appointment to have dinner one night, but Eden and Joya were auditioning at a studio early the next morning. Groucho called me: "We're the only ones left for dinner. What do you think I should wear?" I said, "Groucho, we're going to a fancy restaurant, so don't embarrass me." "As ordered." I drove to pick him up.When the doorbell rang, he opened the door, wearing Eden's skirt, blouse, and high heels, smoking his own cigar.I pretended to be indifferent. He said, "How about coming in for a drink?" I said: "OK." We go in, Groucho starts making drinks, and the doorbell rings again.It turned out that he had invited the staff of the TV station to talk about his program, but now he had forgotten about it.He opened the door and let them in.We sat and chatted for a while, and then the TV people left. Groucho said, "I'll change my clothes." Then we went out to eat.
People in showbiz face the same problem - how to comment on a friend's disgusting script or performance.Here are some solutions that have stuck around over the years: "You can't do better..." "It's just a game..." "It's beyond words..." "You should have gone to the auditorium to see..." "I've never seen anything like this..." "Everyone will always remember this night..."
With The House of Dreams still a few months away, I think now is the perfect time to bring Joya back to Europe. Joya was as excited as I was.We sat down to discuss where we should go, London, Paris, Rome... Just then the phone rang, and it was Ladislos Bush Feckert from Munich.I haven't been in touch with Racine since Armored Alice ended, almost ten years ago.Kirk Douglas is a big star these days, and I'm glad I didn't ruin his career. Racine still had the thick Hungarian accent: "Sidney, are you okay? Marika and I miss you very much." "Very well, Racine. I miss you too." "When will you come to Europe?" "Seriously, we're leaving for Europe next week." "Great. You must come and see us in Munich, will you?" I thought for a second, "Of course. I also want to introduce Joya to you." "Great. Let us know when we have a time." "It's a deal." After hanging up, I told Joya, "It's Ramaslos Bush Fickett." Joya looked at me and said, "Alice in Armor." I smiled, "You'll like him, his wife is lovely, and Munich is beautiful, we must have a good time going there."
Just before we left, Sam Spiegel called. Sam Spiegel is one of the most colorful figures in Hollywood.He was born in Austria, came to Hollywood to sell Egyptian cotton cloth, and then went to Brixton prison for fraud.After returning to Hollywood, he determined to become a producer and changed his name to SP Eagle, so he became the laughing stock of the whole town. After hearing about him, Darryl Zanuck said: " I'm also going to change my name to ZA Nook." The jeers at him died down quickly, as Sam Spiegel did go on to produce a long list of Oscar-winning films, including Lawrence of Arabia, On the Waterfront and The African Queen. He often held various luxurious banquets, and I met him and became friends at one of the banquets. After his call, Joya and I had dinner with him.He said: "There is a foreign film that I may be interested in adapting. If you go to Paris, please help me watch it and tell me your impressions. I am very grateful." Three days later, Joya and I flew to New York.The Queen Mary we had booked set sail in a few days. There are several interesting musicals on Broadway -- Witches of Salem, Happyville, Picnic, The Seven Year Itch, and Dial-in Murder.Every time you step into the theater hall, the tide of the past will be clearly reproduced.Some of the plays that Ben Roberts and I wrote were staged in some of those theaters.A lot of incredible things happened after that, the most incredible of which was this: a movie I was directing starring Cary Grant was opening at Radio City Music Hall. One night, Joya and I went to see Arthur Miller's new play, The Witches of Salem, starring Arthur Kennedy, EG Marshall, Beatrice Strait and Madeleine Scher. wood.The performance that night was so exquisite that Joya was fascinated by it. When the curtain fell, she asked me, "Who is the director?" "Jed Harris, who also directed Uncle Vanya, A Doll's House, Our Town and The Rich Lady." "It's incredible." Joya exclaimed. "I hope to have the opportunity to work with him one day." I took her hand, "It's his pleasure."
Notes: