Chapter 121 5. My uncle gave the colorful mandarin duck purse to the eternal lover in my heart

When the inheritors of the Emperor's School followed in the footsteps of their teachers and failed miserably one after another, the talented Yang family who returned to her natal family after twenty years of marriage got an unexpected harvest in loneliness.Uncle Concubine, who has reached her forties, often has a slight warmth rolling in her heart in the past two years, as if the youthful vigor that has passed away for many years has sprouted again.She always felt that there was a ray of sunshine shining in her life, and her heart, which had been depressed for many years, became bright again.She knew in her heart that all this was because of Xia Lang being by her side.

Xia Shoutian, who has been reduced from the history of the presidential palace to the remnants of the imperial system, has always maintained a calm mind.He was originally a person who did not have much desire for achievement, desire for power, and his greatest interest was not to be an official, but to chant in poems and books, and to put his love in the mountains and rivers.Before he was an internal historian, he had no intention of using this important position to gain something for himself. Now that he has lost this position, he also feels that he has lost more.The nearly fifty-year-old former No. 2 man, after experiencing the vicissitudes of life in the country and the people, and the death of his father and concubine, more consciously obeyed the Taoist theory of quietness and inaction, and called himself a Taoist.Xizi invited him and his uncle to accompany him after he entered Buddhism from Zhuangzhuang, and he readily complied.Confucianism, Taoism, and Buddhism have always been three peaks standing side by side.The first two peaks have already entered the mountain to explore treasures, how can the third one be ignored?What's more, there is a talented woman who is hard to find in the world to swim this Lingfeng of the Western Heaven with him.

Xia Shoutian admired Shuji's talent very much.Back then on Dongzhou Island, his uncle's song "Yulouchi" overwhelmed his eyebrows, and it has always been deeply in his memory.Later, they were separated from each other, and they didn't have much contact with each other, but they always remembered it in their hearts.Three years ago, Xia Shoutian returned to Beijing from Xi'an and reunited with his uncle after a long absence. Both of them were very happy.Afterwards, Xia Shoutian often went to Huai'an Hutong. He seldom talked about state affairs with Xizi, and more time talked about poetry and prose with his uncle.Sometimes, they also talked about marriage, about family.Xia Shoutian sympathized with the great sorrow in Uncle Concubine's heart, and he even felt guilty about it, because he was the first to propose the combination of Uncle Concubine and Dai Yi, and he regretted that he didn't know enough about both of them at that time.

Is it admiration for Uncle Concubine's talent, is it sympathy for Uncle Concubine's situation, is it to redeem the mistakes of the past, or is it some other subtle thought?Xia Shoutian himself didn't know the reason why he never brought Mrs. Chen to Beijing, but there was a powerful force in Huai'an Hutong that attracted him. After the failure of the Hongxian Monarchy, he acted like a ghost, and did not hang Yue Shuang's "Baqiao Catkin Picture" on the wall of Yangzhai, nor did he put a jade photo of his concubine on the desk.Everyone in the Yang family didn't notice this subtle change, but it gave Shuji great comfort and satisfaction.Just because of this, Uncle Ji seemed to feel that it was her duty to take care of this troubled man.

Uncle Ji knew in her heart that she had been married to Dai Yi for twenty years, not to mention these years, even in the first few years of marriage, she did not love her husband crazily or deeply like ordinary passionate young women.Xia Lang's beauty can never be erased from her mind, and Xia Lang's longing for Xia Lang is always in her heart.After returning from Japan, there was a deep crack in the relationship between husband and wife. My uncle often held up the big red palace flower that Xia Shoutian gave her, staring at it infatuatedly, with crystal tears dripping quietly on the petals.Sometimes she would dig out the multicolored mandarin ducks playing in the water purse embroidered when she was a girl from the dowry mahogany box, and gently caress the two mandarin ducks playing in the lotus.When thousands of knots of worry became tighter and tighter, she could only comfort the pillow and cry bitterly as a temporary relief.

It’s true that God pays off lovers. After more than ten years, my elder brother went to the capital with Xia Lang, and my mother decided to go north with my sister-in-law. Regardless of her husband’s request and her father-in-law’s dissuasion, my uncle resolutely followed her mother-in-law to Beijing , she has to work hard to find the warmth of that year.However, she was disappointed because Xia Shoutian was not in Beijing at that time, but stayed in Xi'an for a lonely grave. Well, Xia Lang finally returned to Beijing, and he was able to often reminisce and chat with himself, discuss poetry and papers.Especially this time escaping from arrest, from Huai'an Hutong to Haihe Mansion, and from Haihe Mansion to Huai'an Hutong, Uncle Ji felt that Xia Lang had completely returned to her side, because the road was made by Yue Shuang's relic. The barriers erected have been dismantled.

On the eve of Dai Yi's departure from Beijing for Xiangtan, he repeatedly begged his uncle to go home with him.Although Shuji missed her very much, she still refused.Her son was almost twenty years old and didn't need her care much anymore, but Xia Lang made her curl up and linger, and couldn't part it. How many mornings when the sun was rising in the east, Uncle Ji faced the window and stared at Xia Lang in the small courtyard practicing Taijiquan with breathless breath; on how many moonlit nights when people were quieter, Uncle Ji walked into the next room draped in clothes to cheer for Xia Lang under the lamp. Add water and tea, and tell him to rest early; how many refreshing mornings, uncle and Xia Lang sat facing each other, reading Buddhist scriptures, and practicing Zen theory; , Discuss Chinese, and talk about Tang poetry.At such times, Uncle Ji's heart is filled with sweetness and happiness.She is grateful to God for finally rewarding her bitter lovesickness for more than 20 years.Sometimes she feels vaguely that everything in the past is a dream, and what follows is real.She should have never been married to the Wang family as a daughter-in-law, and Xia Lang has never had any other women. Soaring with eyes, flying together.With this, what more can you ask for in this life!

The autumn wind is blowing, and the green leaves on the grape trellises are gradually turning yellow. My uncle misses her brother who has gone to Lushan Mountain, and hopes that he will return safely and soon.At this time, she suddenly found two butterflies flying one behind the other beside the grape arbor.The one in front is only dark brown, with larger wings, flying up and down, and flying freely and freely.The one in the back is only pink and white, with smaller wings, left and right, flying elegantly and gracefully.It is difficult for butterflies to fly in in the small courtyard, not to mention that it is early autumn!

My uncle watched with great interest, her eyes were blurred and misty, and a different scene appeared in front of her: in the spring of March, a hundred flowers were blooming, outside Guide City, the mountains were green and the water was sparkling, A young girl is laughing, running, chasing a rare big blue and black butterfly.After a while, a handsome young man helped the girl catch it.He catches the butterfly, but he falls and his palms are covered with blood.The girl took the butterfly from him, and found that his braids were different from ordinary people's black and shiny.At that moment, a strong sense of spring surged in the girl's heart, as if the charming spring spirit conceived by good fortune poured into her chest in an instant.

Ah, more than twenty years!More than 20 years have passed in the blink of an eye, but the situation more than 20 years ago will never be forgotten.In order to keep the good memories of her youth, and to commemorate the unforgettable feelings, Shu Ji decided to fill in a boudoir poem carefully.She chose Jiang Kui's self-made "Sparse Shadows" with the most beautiful melody as the score, and titled it "Autumn Butterfly". Uncle Ji has stopped writing poetry for many years because of her many illnesses.Today she spread paper and rubbed ink excitedly, and after writing the name of the poem, she rested her chin and meditated.Xia Shoutian went to Liulichang to search for books early in the morning. His mother was helping Huang's sister-in-law wash and cook in the kitchen. Mr. He had been dismissed long before he left for Tianjin, so the gate was closed all day long.The small courtyard is quiet and there is no sound at all.

Slowly, the clouds became thicker and thicker, and the sky became darker.A gust of north wind blew, mixed with fluttering rain, and scattered on the ground, bringing down a few withered grape leaves.The grass in the cracks between the bricks by the ditch shivered in the cold wind, looking as pitiful as a beggar.When I looked closely, the two butterflies disappeared without knowing when, and the courtyard suddenly felt deserted.Uncle Ji felt a bit chilly, and she quickly put on the shawl trimmed with peacock feathers, but she still couldn't fight the cold.She understood that the chill came from her heart, and no matter how thick her clothes were, she couldn't resist it.She thought of Yi'an's works in his later years.The artistic conception in that poem is quite different from that of her early years. It is full of "searching and searching, deserted, desolate and miserable". Even if it is "the Lantern Festival, the weather is harmonious", she will think "there is no wind and rain in the next order." ".Alas, the spring in the universe has passed, and the spring of life has long passed away. No matter how beautiful the memory is, it is just a memory. How can it replace the living reality!The reality is that a lady is in her mid-life, her blood has weakened, and she will no longer be a spring butterfly picking flowers to make honey, but an autumn butterfly sheltering from the wind and cold! Thinking of this, a sense of helpless sadness can no longer be dismissed, and what flows under the pen is actually a paper full of faint resentment: After finishing writing, Shuji recited it again, and it turned out that it was not the original intention before writing.She sighed, fell on the bed and fell asleep. In the afternoon, Xia Shoutian came back.He visited a rubbing of a Northern Wei stele in Liulichang today, and walked straight to Uncle Ji's room after entering the door, wanting to admire it with her. The door was ajar.He pushed open the door, only to see that Shuji was sleeping on the bed, and was about to leave when he caught a glimpse of a piece of poetry on the desk.Xia Shoutian picked it up and saw that it was "Sparse Shadows·Autumn Butterflies" written by Shu Ji in the morning.After reading it, I thought to myself: Uncle Ji has not written poetry for many years, and what she recites today clearly has a deeper artistic conception than in the past, especially the Taoist true meaning of "one spring and autumn" is even more rare.Don't be indifferent to her Qiuxing, let me sing with her. Back in my room, after half an hour of pacing and meditating, the Ci minister also filled out "Autumn Butterfly" with "Sparse Shadows" as the score, and wrote "Master Zhuang Yinzheng" and "Heaven The words "Fair Taoist Fenghe" and other words were sent to the desk in Shuji's room, and placed side by side with the previous "Autumn Butterfly". After Uncle Ji got up, she wanted to revise the words that she had filled out in the morning. When she walked to the desk, she was immediately attracted by Xia Shoutian's words.Surprised and delighted, she picked it up and read: It is worthy of being the winner of the toad palace twenty years ago. A boudoir's "Sparse Shadows" is full of pearls and jade, with beautiful music and rhythm. It is full of fragrance after reading. My uncle couldn't put it down. She recited it twice, and finally fixed her eyes on the ending On those two sentences. "The vertical painting screen misses the morning glory, and there is still an appointment in Guilin." What does this mean?Could it be that Xia Lang also had the same thoughts back then, because he missed the opportunity and caused a lifelong mistake?And today you still want to go to the autumn appointment of Osmanthus osmanthus?Thinking of this, Shuji subconsciously shook her head.In Guide Town, Mr. Xia and his elder brother talked about important matters for men from morning to night, and never said a word about their children's affair, which was out of line with "mistakes".So is it the regret now?Only now did I realize that the marriage in the past was a "mistake"?Although the morning glory has already withered early, the osmanthus seeds are still fragrant, so he wants to use autumn fruits to make up for the lack of spring flowers?Uncle Ji shook her head unconsciously.Xia Lang has lived in Yang's family for more than a year. Although they get along well with each other, they never show any special behavior.In this way, he was just writing lyrics, in Fenghe, in chanting the butterfly in the autumn wind, there is no other meaning? The thoughtful and talented uncle fell into the love net that she had woven.She decided to test it out. Yang Zhuang, who was in his early forties, deliberately dressed himself up.Apply a thin layer of white powder on the face, then apply a little rouge and lipstick.Eyebrows are fine, no need to draw any more.The white earrings are matched with a pair of elegant plum-shaped pearl earrings, and a dark red ring-shaped horn comb is inserted in the smooth hair.Then put on a scarlet jacket and put on the shawl trimmed with peacock feathers.After dressing up, Uncle Ji looked back and forth in the full-length mirror, feeling quite satisfied.Except for a few thin crow's feet around the corners of the eyes, her whole body seems to be the same as when she was married twenty years ago.A wave of self-confidence that had been lost for many years suddenly gushed out. Next, she tidied up the room again, and the desks were neatly arranged.The whole room is filled with an elegant, harmonious, Ningxin and warm atmosphere.Seeing all this, she felt very happy.Suddenly, she remembered two important things, and hurriedly found them from the bottom of the box: one was the big red palace flower Xia Lang gave her, and the other was the colorful mandarin duck purse embroidered when she was a daughter.Twenty years later, they are still as good as new.After petting for a long time, she put the palace flower in the middle of the desk and hid the purse in the drawer. When night fell on the world, Xia Shoutian was invited to come to Uncle Ji's room.In the bright candlelight, Shu Ji, who has always been simple and reserved, was radiant and affectionate tonight, which surprised and excited Xia Shoutian.Who said that a forty-year-old woman is tofu, isn't the uncle at this moment just a flower that is still charming?He really wanted to say "you are so beautiful" loudly, but he couldn't say it after moving his lips a few times. "Master Xia, please sit down!" From the first time they met in Guide Town until now, no matter how Xia Shoutian's status or title changed, Uncle Ji always referred to him as "Mr. Xia".Xia Shoutian likes to hear this kind of address the most, it is kind and refined, and it always makes him feel youthful after hearing it. "Uncle, in Liulichang this morning, I found a rubbing of a Northern Wei Dynasty stele. Although it is incomplete, it is very precious. I would like to invite you to have a look. Open your door, you are taking a nap, and I was just about to leave. I saw your newly recited "Sparse Shadows", and after reading it, I couldn't help but reciprocate a song, and I hope you will rectify it." There were so many people at dinner, it was inconvenient for Xia Shoutian to talk, and as soon as he sat down, he talked a lot excitedly. Shuji smiled and said, "You are a Ci minister. How dare I correct the words you filled out! With your "Autumn Butterfly", my "Autumn Butterfly" has greatly increased its glory." Xia Shoutian was very happy when he heard this, and said: "Historically, there have been many chanting spring butterflies and few chanting autumn butterflies. It is a pity that the Imperial Academy has withdrawn early. Otherwise, these two poems of autumn butterflies would have been recited among the princes of the Hanyuan, especially Your phrase, "When I was fortunate enough to enter Zhuang Sheng's dream, I don't care about my dew and frost" is really a good sentence in the poetry world." Shuji laughed and said, "No matter how good it is, it can't compare to your 'The portrait screen missed the morning glory, and there is still an appointment in Guilin'!" Uncle Ji took a serious look at Xia Shoutian as she spoke, and saw an unnatural smile on his face, so she teased: "Young Master Xia, you are probably borrowing a butterfly to describe yourself. Who was your morning glory back then? Where is Guilin today?" Xia Shoutian was a little surprised by Uncle Concubine's special joy tonight.The nearly fifty-year-old former No. 2 public has read the world well and is well-versed in human emotions. From the moment she stepped on the threshold and saw her uncle dressed up carefully, she found that she was in an unusual mood.We have been together for more than a year, but tonight is different, obviously because of the poem and the poem, and the poetic eyes in the poem are the two sentences "Zonghuaping missed the morning glory, and there is still an appointment in Guilin".In this way, she, who has been separated from her husband for a long time, resonates with her turbulent heart? What kind of state of mind do these two sentences express?It is difficult for the poet himself to say clearly whether it is groundless speculation or borrowing things to describe his aspirations.It may be that chanting autumn butterflies so far, these two sentences are necessary to add a little warmth to the chilling autumn wind, or it may be the inspiration sent by the gods, expressing a secret of myself in recent years.It seems that at this time Xia Shoutian realized that he had secretly fallen in love with this ambitious but ill-fated woman long ago.Otherwise, why did the memory of Yue Shuang gradually fade away?Why haven't you brought your wife to Beijing?And why run to Huai'an Hutong in three days and two days?How can a big man live in a friend's house in a happy mood?It is difficult to explain any reason, but only this "vertical painting screen missed the morning glory, and there is still a previous appointment in Guilin" can explain everything. However, how to say this?The clever and agile Qian Nei Shi was embarrassed.He looked around to talk about it.Suddenly, he found a bright red palace flower in the middle of the desk, which seemed familiar.Ah, I remembered, isn't this the palace flower that I asked Xizi to bring back for my uncle's wedding?It has been treasured by the owner to this day, and it was placed on the desk by the owner tonight and displayed in front of the flower giver.Do I need to ask more about the deep meaning contained in this? "Uncle Ji, is this the palace flower I gave that year?" Xia Shoutian didn't answer Uncle Ji's question, but pointed to the desk and changed the subject. "Yes." Uncle Ji's mood suddenly turned cold, "This is a wedding present from you, but I have never worn it once." "Why?" Xia Shoutian was taken aback, "Didn't you wear it at the wedding night?" "No." Shuji shook her head lightly, the joy and joy just now completely disappeared from her face. "You don't like it?" Xia Shoutian said this involuntarily, knowing that it was not the case. "How could it be?" Uncle Ji smiled sadly. The scene of lying on the hospital bed for half a month after accepting the palace flower is still in front of my eyes. How much Uncle Ji wants to be happy with this eternal lover in her heart. Narrating the mixed feelings of sadness and joy back then, but she couldn't be like this after all, she suppressed all the words, and only replied, "Because I like it so much." Xia Shoutian's heart tightened, and his blood surged up. He mustered up his courage and said, "Uncle Ji, you haven't worn it for twenty years. I really didn't expect it. If I put it on for you tonight, would you be willing?" ?” Uncle Ji didn't make a sound, but nodded slightly with a blushing face. Xia Shoutian got up and walked to the desk, picked up the palace flower and walked in front of his uncle.Xia Shoutian seemed to feel that what he was holding in his hand was not a palace flower, but Wanjun gold.No, it is more precious than gold. It is a woman with deep emotions, and she has forged a heart that cannot be weighed with her life's love!Xia Shoutian felt his heart beating, and he also felt his uncle's heart beating.Uncle Ji lowered her head halfway, closed her eyes slightly, and silently asked Mr. Xia to put flowers on her temples.Xia Shoutian could have hugged the uncle who was more beautiful because of the red flower, but he hesitated for a while, and finally did not do so, and returned to the original chair. "Thank you." After a long pause, it seemed that after intense inner thinking he had finally made up his mind, Shuji said, "Young Master Xia, you gave me this palace flower twenty years ago. I am grateful for your kindness. I want to send you a gift in return, but there is nothing suitable. Tonight, you put this flower on me personally, fulfilling the greatest wish of my Yangzhuang in this life. I have nothing else to repay. There is only one purse, a little expression of my heart." My uncle took out the multicolored mandarin duck purse from the desk drawer, put it in her palm, looked at her palm, and said softly: "Our unmarried girls in Xiangtan have to embroider a mandarin duck purse when they embroider their wedding dress. For my future husband. I also embroidered one, but I didn’t give it to Dai Yi. It’s not that I didn’t like him at that time, but that as early as three or four years ago, in the general office of Guide Town, there was a The individual has completely occupied my heart. Although Dai Yi is the husband I recognize, it is impossible for him to replace this person in my heart." Xia Shoutian's heart was firmly gripped by these few words. "As early as three or four years ago, in the yamen of the general army in Guide Town", isn't that person in these words himself?Hot blood was boiling in his chest.Although nearly half a hundred years old, this blood is still surging like a young man.He took the purse with both hands, his emotions could no longer be controlled, he held Shuji's hand tightly, and asked in a trembling voice: "Uncle Ji, are you talking about me? Is it me?" Uncle Ji nodded with tears in her eyes. "Uncle Ji, I also love you very much. The previous appointment in Guilin refers to you and me!" Xia Shoutian's hand tightened. "Uncle, let's get together, let's stay together, let's spend the rest of our lives together!" Dissatisfied with his marriage, Yang Zhuang, who persistently pursues the ideal love, has been longing for such a moment for many years, listening to such a sentence from Xia Lang's heart.After looking forward to it for more than 20 years, this moment finally came. When she finally heard this sentence, tears of happiness welled up in her eyes. She said excitedly, "Young Master Xia, I am so moved by your words, thank you!" Uncle Ji took her hands out of Xia Shoutian's, turned her face away, wiped away her tears, then took a cup of tea from the desk and handed it to Xia Shoutian, saying, "Have a sip of tea!" Xia Shoutian took the teacup, took a sip, and felt relieved, quite ashamed of Meng Lang just now. Uncle Ji also poured herself a glass of water, and after taking two sips, she said calmly, "For more than twenty years, I have two wishes that I have always kept in my heart. One is to give you the purse I wore when I was a daughter, One is to hear you say "I love you" to me. I often laugh at myself for these two unreasonable wishes. I have long been the daughter-in-law of the Wang family, and you have already had your own woman. Is this extravagant wish better than going up to the moon and going down to the sea to catch dragons? The truth is that sincerity is as good as gold and stone. Tonight, these two wishes have come true, and I, Yangzhuang, am satisfied. I dare not have other wishes, and I can't achieve them. .” Seeing that Xia Shoutian was still obsessed, my uncle sighed and said, "I am still Dai Yi's wife in name, and you have a virtuous wife in your hometown in Guiyang, so we cannot marry. Chen Mrs. Shi gave birth to children for you, and you have gone through a lot of hardships, so you shouldn't divorce her. If you divorce Mrs. Chen because of me, it will not only trap me inhumane, but also trap you in injustice. Dai Yi is good to me, I understand this in my heart. I separated from him, and he knew he was wrong, so he can still forgive me. If I divorce him, it will bring him pain, and I can't do this kind of thing; besides, I have a son, I I can't let my son blame me. Mr. Xia, this is our destiny. Fate makes us only love each other in this life, but not be a husband and wife. May the Buddha bless us in the next life!" Uncle Ji's calm attitude infected Xia Shoutian, and he couldn't help saying in his heart, yes, what Uncle Ji said is right, it's painful not to be able to reunite, but it will be even more painful if everything is disrupted and reunion later.He looked at Shuji and said, "I can't repay your kindness in three lifetimes. What do you want me to use to repay you?" Uncle Ji smiled lightly and said, "You just live in Huai'an Hutong forever, and accompany me to read Buddhist scriptures and gossip every day. This is my reward." "Okay." Xia Shoutian quickly agreed. "Reading and talking with you is also my biggest wish for the rest of my life." "If you're free, do me a favor." "What's the matter? Just talk." Xia Shoutian took Shu Ji's hand again. "When I was transcribing and sending Master Chan's poems, I came up with an idea to sort out my past poems." "That's great!" Xia Shoutian couldn't help interrupting her. "I will be the first reader of this poem." "Not just to be a reader." Uncle Ji said with a smile, "I also want to lend you a good regular script that you wrote for the emperor to help me copy it." Uncle Ji's calligraphy is neat and beautiful, and she has plenty of time, but she asked Xia Shoutian to copy it for her. Of course Xia Shoutian understood what he meant.He said excitedly: "It is my blessing, Xia Shoutian, to be able to transcribe poems and essays for today's Layman Yi An. It is ten and a hundred times more valuable than when I used to transcribe daily notes and daily lectures for the emperor in Hanyuan. I will definitely put my best effort into writing it.” Uncle Ji was very moved when she heard this, and said, "Then I will thank you first." "You're off the mark." Xia Shoutian let go of his hand and asked, "How's the arrangement going? May I have a look first?" "It's about the same." Uncle Ji got up and took out a large stack of papers from the bookcase. Xia Shoutian took it and flipped through it, and found that many of the poems and essays had Mr. Xiangqi's own handwriting, which seemed even more precious.The opening words of the first article "On Zhuge Liang" were created abruptly: After reading these few sentences, Xia Shoutian couldn't stop.He read on: Xia Shoutian repeatedly nodded in agreement, and unconsciously read out: Xia Shoutian put down the manuscript paper, looked affectionately at Uncle Concubine who was changing the lyrics under the lamp, and sighed in his heart: In the past, I always thought that Concubine Concubine's talent lies in chanting, but unexpectedly she can also make such extraordinary remarks in terms of employment and administration. Let's discuss.Zhuge Liang is a wise man through the ages, this is an unpublished theory, but Uncle Ji can point out his biggest mistake.Whether it is profound or harsh, it is really commendable that it is always unique and not echoing what others say. Uncle Ji turned her face and asked: "Master Xia, do you think these things are worth sorting out and copying?" "It's only worth it, it's really worth every word." Xia Shoutian said sincerely, "I just read "Zhuge Liang Lun" roughly, and deeply thought that you are not only a talented woman, but also a good history and virtuous minister. It's a pity that you shouldn't be a daughter, otherwise you can really do great things for the country." Unexpectedly, after hearing this, Uncle Ji remained silent for a long time, and finally said slowly after a long time: "Young Master Xia, you are just like my brother. You have been on a lost path for most of your life. In fact, no matter how good the article is, No matter how profound the discussion is, it is useless for governing the country. There is another way of governing the country, which is quite different from the articles written; Even if I get in by luck, I can't do great things. If I am a man in this life, I will end up like my brother in the end. At that time, I will feel more depressed, and I might as well be a daughter. It is better to regard poetry and prose only as self-entertainment to relieve sorrow and boredom!" Uncle Ji's remarks stunned the former bachelor who had read poetry and books.