Chapter 9 chapter eight

The moment Zhang Ailing saw her mother and aunt at her aunt's house in the Kainer Road Apartment, Zhang Ailing's long-simmering bitterness finally broke out. She cried and said, "I'm afraid he will come here..." Huang Yifan also cried, and comforted Zhang Ailing in his arms, saying, "I won't let him take you away!" My aunt came up to them and put her arms around them and said, "He'd better come! If I can't borrow a pistol, I'll at least ask him to have a few stitches on his head!" Two brave and independent women joined hands to protect Zhang Ailing's life.

He Gan couldn't get rid of the suspicion of releasing Zhang Ailing privately, so he quit his job and returned to his hometown.Sun Yongfan ordered his servants to give away the clothes left by Zhang Ailing at home, and the rest of the sundries were burned as garbage.He Gan rescued Zhang Ailing's most precious manuscript from the fire and brought it to Zhang Ailing. Zhang Ailing watched He Gan go away, her tears had already dried up, but her eyes were sore and swollen, and her heart was very tired.He Gan is gone, and childhood is far away.That period of father-daughter love is like water poured out, which can never be taken back.

Eileen Chang is free.But as she once thought, even if one day she regains her freedom, she will no longer be the original self.All the colors were not as clear as before, as if the windows of her soul were grayed out. My mother often taught her objectively and calmly: "My abilities are limited. If you envy your cousins ​​and are willing to marry early, then you don't have to think about studying. Use the tuition to dress yourself up and find someone to marry quickly. If you want to study, you don’t have any spare money to spend on clothes. You have to think about your own way. Although aunts and uncles are relatives on both sides, they are dependent on others. I am grateful for their care and care. Don’t count, you have to say it often. At least let others feel that it’s worth being nice to you! Don’t cry in front of people all the time! A few words of sympathy for others can’t solve your own problems! Don’t think that showing weakness can gain benefits, that’s just In vain to damage one's own integrity, and attract others' resentment! Be more sophisticated, understand some principles of life, and don't end up making people feel hurt in their mouths and disgusted in their hearts!"

Zhang Ailing was startled when she heard this sentence. At this moment, her mood was like the balcony under her feet, hanging in the air in the night, alone and helpless. There are unexpected constraints in the relationship between mother and daughter, unlike Zhang Ailing who can speak freely with her aunt.From the five-dollar-an-hour English class to the eating posture, Huang Yifan did not speak harshly when he taught the children, but he had an attitude of faint disgust.She was particularly annoyed by Zhang Ailing's mental retardation in life: "I can't imagine how you live abroad alone? You can't get married! You don't even have the basic knowledge of life. I have to teach you everything from the beginning. I will teach you everything later." , all the good ones have been picked out!"

Zhang Ailing didn't want to argue too much, but she was a little sad.Every word my mother said to her seemed to be tightly sewn into the flesh with a needle and thread. Three women live under the same roof, and sometimes they also have a kind of absurd joy, such as fighting cockroaches, all three of them are afraid, each grabbing a roll of newspaper, running all over the room, chickens and cats screaming ghostly, and when they see black shadows, they are afraid. hit.My aunt beat me hard at the table, and when I put on my glasses, I realized it was a chocolate candy.The three couldn't stand up laughing.

Sometimes they don't talk, as if they have their own concerns.It was raining hot and humid outside the house, and my aunt was typing all afternoon, as if she was working very hard.Huang Yifan just nestled on the sofa, with a magazine spread out on his lap, not reading, just staring at the rain outside the window in a daze.Zhang Ailing was preparing for the exam with her head sullen at the dining table.All afternoon there was no sound but the sound of rain and typewriters.Zhang Ailing looked at her aunt and mother secretly, and suddenly felt that she was dragging these two women down. She stared at their happiness and anger, because she was deeply dependent on them.

Asking your mother for allowances can be torture for both parties.Eileen Chang mustered up enough courage to open her mouth: "I have an appointment with my cousin today, I can't ask them to pay every time! The pocket money you gave me, I tried to save as much as possible, and I spent it all last month. Later, my aunt gave it to me. Me once." Huang Yifan's tone suddenly became angrily: "How many times have I told you, don't ask your aunt for money. Isn't it enough for us to eat and live in other people's house? Your father just saw that our mother and daughter can't survive without the Zhang family. !" While talking, she became sad and choked up, "What do you compare with your cousins? What they eat and wear is the ancestral property accumulated by the three generations of the Huang family. I only have a box of antiques around me, and they have sold almost all these years. , you have to set aside your tuition fees, so you can’t think about it for me? I told you that I’m going to suffer, right? If you regret it now, it’s still too late! You can go back at any time, your father will take you in! "

At this time, Zhang Ailing was so sad that she also cried, feeling as if she had no conscience at all, and she was blindly torturing her mother. Huang Yifan went into the room, took a bracelet and came out to Zhang Ailing, saying, "Take it for pocket money!" Zhang Ailing shook her head in despair and said, "I don't want it!" Huang Yifan said coldly: "You already want it!" She walked out of the room, Zhang Ailing stood there sobbing, what her mother gave her was a great humiliation. On this day Zhang Zijing came to the door suddenly.He has a sharp and thin face, holding a pack of newspaper rolls in his hand, I don't know what it is.Huang Yifan seems to have forgotten that he still has this son, looking at him with a strange expression.

Zhang Zijing still has an old problem. Whenever she speaks, she whimpers and tears can't shed: "My sister is gone, and I am the only one left at home! No one cares about me, and no one talks to me. I don't care if I have something to do." I know who to discuss with, and if I say I want to come to you, I will be beaten!" Zhang Ailing saw a pair of freshly washed basketball shoes wrapped in the newspaper. Zhang Zijing wiped away her tears, and said firmly: "I made up my mind a long time ago, waiting for the summer vacation, I must come to you, I want to live with you, and I don't plan to go back to that house!"

Zhang Maoyuan shook his head and walked away as soon as he heard it. Zhang Ailing looked at his mother.Huang Yifan said slowly: "You are the only boy in the Zhang family, you can't leave the Zhang family. Besides, I have no income now, and I have to support your sister to go to college. The financial situation is already very tight, and there is really no way to afford another one." ! Mother is very sorry for you! I didn’t take care of you in the past, and I don’t have the ability to take you in now! You are obedient, follow your father, study hard, and the Zhang family will depend on you in the future!”

Zhang Zijing didn't know what to say, and looked at Zhang Ailing with tears in her eyes.Zhang Ailing herself cried too, she felt helpless, not only her brother's fate, but also her own. Zhang Ailing sent Zhang Zijing out and watched him get on the tram with the pair of newspaper-wrapped basketball shoes tightly in his hand, and the tram drove away.Zhang Ailing did not take anything with her when she left that home, and the only thing her younger brother wanted to take away was a pair of basketball shoes... Now living with her aunt, there is no security of home, nothing that belongs to her. For Zhang Ailing, home has never been A long and ancient dream begins, gradually disillusioned...waking up... Because of the war, Zhang Ailing's dream of studying in London was shattered. In 1939, she went to Hong Kong University to study. Evelyn, who lives in the same dormitory, is from the mainland of China and cannot understand Zhang Ailing's words; Yuenu speaks with an overly pure attitude; Jintao is Yuenu's fellow villager, but her personality is completely different; Su Leijia's tone of voice to boys Very sweet, with a kind of wooing to please, the tone of speaking to girls is not provocative, and it is obviously two scales lower than that of boys. After packing up her luggage, Zhang Ailing, who was covered in sweat, walked into the bathroom, and heard a loud singing voice coming from a certain room, singing "Over the Rainbow".The singing is a little bit reluctant to sing high notes, but I sing very hard, and I am very happy with myself. Just like in the lyrics, it seems to be stepping on the end of the rainbow, holding a dream full of dreams. Zhang Ailing bent down and found that the singer was brushing her round and black toes with a toothbrush, and the clothes were hanging on the partition board. Zhang Ailing could tell from the size of the underwear that this person must be plump.After the underwear was taken away, there was a tropical orange dress left on the partition board.Zhang Ailing turned on the water to test the water temperature first, when the water sprayed out, she screamed.The man stopped singing and asked, "Are you okay?" Zhang Ailing said: "The water is cold!" "So there is no one at this time! There is only one boiler in the school. You can't boil water when you cook, and you can't cook rice when you boil water. It's meal time, so there is no hot water. If you want to wash hot water, don't do it during meal time." Come on! But taking a cold bath is good for your health, you won’t catch a cold easily! You don’t have to wait in line, and you can sing with an echo, which is very beneficial!” Zhang Ailing only heard her voice all the time. First-year freshmen have to fill in a lot of basic information and course selection forms, and Zhang Ailing and others sit in the seats of the stepped classroom to fill out.Suddenly someone raised his hand, stood up and asked loudly: "I have a question! May I ask which professor is the most handsome?" The teaching assistant in front was stunned, and everyone in the class roared with laughter.The man said nonchalantly: "I'm helping you choose courses!" Eileen Chang looked up and saw the orange dress.So everyone knew Fatima, a short, plump, dark girl with round, big squirrel-like eyes.