Chapter 38 Chapter Thirty-Seven

The words have been spoken, and I can't take them back anyway. A feeling of relaxation hits my heart. The fear and fear these days disappeared in an instant with the words. I secretly took a deep breath, relieved Instead, my mind became clear, and I quickly calculated in my heart, but I just knelt there numbly.However, the atmosphere in the room was disturbed by my words, and I just lowered my head, and various thoughts were spinning in my mind. I don't know how long it took, "Why?" Kangxi's voice suddenly penetrated my thoughts, the voice was not loud, but the meaning in it pierced into my heart like a red needle, and I couldn't help shivering , Subconsciously raised his head and glanced at the wise and wise Ming Jun.Contrary to his voice, Emperor Kangxi's face was still peaceful, holding a string of Buddhist beads in his hand, but his black eyes were as deep as the bottom of the sea, making it impossible to explore the true meaning.It looks like...it really looks like, for a moment, I seemed to see Yinxiang's eyes, and then I seemed to see Fourth Master.Yinxiang, fourth master... I don't know why, when I think of them, I will become calm and brave, and various thoughts flashed in my mind. I smiled slightly and said lightly : "Because I hate." Kangxi was startled, and couldn't help frowning slightly.

The elder brothers around me looked at me suspiciously, like those of the third master who didn't know, were either full of doubts, or thoughtful, while the ninth master's eyes were a little bit suspicious, but his expression was still condensed, and Secretly gave the somewhat irritable Master Shi a wink, telling him to hold his ground.Eighth Master's face sank like water, all the gentleness and elegance of the past had disappeared, the corners of his mouth were tightly pursed into a straight line, and he just stared at me firmly, while Fourteenth Elder Brother's face was as pale as snow, with an unbelievable expression in his eyes. , was also slightly panicked, his fists were clenched tightly, and a vein on his forehead burst out.In the blink of an eye, everyone's expressions fell into my eyes, and an uncontrollable smile surged up from my heart. In an instant, their panic and uncertain fear of what I would say , gave me a feeling that their future and life were in my hands, even though it was only for a moment, although the price I paid for it was...

Looking at Kangxi who was patiently waiting for my answer, I replied softly: "The emperor knows that since I married Yinxiang, I have had nothing to do. The crown prince has been persuading Yinxiang to take a concubine, and Yinxiang is also tempted." After a pause, these words are half true and half false. The prince did persuade Yin Xiang to take a concubine several times, but Yin Xiang cleverly and tactfully refused.Thinking of this, my heart warmed up, but I continued to say: "I am a proud woman. I have only been married for a few years, and my husband will take a concubine. I can't tolerate such insults, so I hate, I hate the prince who is born out of nothing, and I also hate him. Yinxiang is weak-minded and turbulent, so I cursed the prince and imitated Yinxiang's handwriting, making him unable to explain." These words sounded like lines from a second-rate romance drama, coupled with my third-rate acting skills... ... After I finished speaking, I couldn't help but smile bitterly in my heart.

The room was quiet for a while, and Emperor Kangxi said in a deep voice, "Then why did you say it now?" I thought for a while: "It's nothing, I just regret it, and I never thought that things would become so big." , I slightly bent the corner of my mouth: "The emperor also knows that women have long hair and short knowledge, so they can't think too far." Kangxi was also taken aback by my teasing words. People have told him such things, but my life is about to die, and I can control who he is.If he hadn't given birth to this group of sons who are like wolves and tigers, how could I have been forced to such a state of seeking my own death.But the look of surprise just slipped through his eyes: "Come on, the pen and ink are waiting for you." He said slowly, and in a blink of an eye, the rice paper emblem and ink were placed in front of me. He hesitated and wrote down what he had just heard from Master Shi.After I finished writing, I picked it up and gently blew on the ink, ignored Li Dequan who was stunned by the side, and took a closer look. Fortunately, I have learned Yinxiang's characters over the past few years, and I just want to find one. The scapegoat, there is not much difference between the likeness and the likeness. I sneered in my heart, and passed the paper to Li Dequan.

Li Dequan held it up respectfully, Emperor Kangxi took it, and looked at it carefully under the shadow of the lamp. Brothers looked at Kangxi and then at me, looking nervous, but no one knew what was written on it. "It's really good..." Kangxi looked at it for a while, and squeezed out these words from between his teeth.I really want to take a picture of the faces of Ba Ye and the others, I am afraid I will never see their expressions like seeing a ghost again... "You all go out and wait in the court. If there is anyone who speaks recklessly, they will be killed without pardon." Emperor Kangxi suddenly said, and everyone looked at each other. Although they were worried for different reasons, no one dared to violate the emperor's will. They all filed out and retreated one by one.

The room was really silent, I knelt there with my head down, everything in front of me seemed to be in a dream, but I couldn't help but think, although the topic of an interview with Emperor Kangxi alone is extremely bad, if there is this opportunity , I don’t know how many historians will flock here, even if they know that they are going to die... While thinking about it, the golden clock in the room suddenly struck ten times, and my heart trembled. A pair of well-made buckskin soap boots Stopped in front of me, an indescribable pressure was under the hood, I couldn't help tightening my shoulders and clenching my fists, waiting for the thunderous blow.

"Why?" The emperor's voice floated down from above my head lightly, asking exactly the same question as before.I paused and closed my eyes, yes, Kangxi probably didn’t believe even half a word of what I said just now, the only thing that surprised him was that I actually wrote the content of Nightmare Town perfectly. come out. "Because I don't want Yinxiang to die." I raised my head and glanced at Emperor Kangxi. He was staring at me with his hands behind his back. He frowned when he heard me say this, and tightened the corners of his mouth, but he didn't speak. .I took a deep breath, "Maybe the emperor wants to say that you have no intention of killing Yinxiang, because you know he didn't do it." Hold on to me... My heart was beating violently, and my hands were trembling uncontrollably, but I still straightened my back and looked at him, thinking in my heart that fear can also give people courage. "However, it is impossible for the emperor not to deal with such a big matter. Even if he is not killed, at least he will be banned. But for Yinxiang, what is the difference between letting him die." I said hoarsely , "Just now the emperor announced the clan mansion to come in, that's what he wanted to do."

Kangxi looked at me fixedly, without saying a word.I couldn't help swallowing dry foam, I just felt my throat was on fire, resisting the discomfort, I said: "The emperor also knows about this matter, if you continue to investigate this matter, you will lose more than just Yinxiang's son, But your decision like this is too unfair to Yinxiang, he has lost his mother and can no longer be abandoned by his father..." Kangxi's face froze when he heard this, the corners of his mouth stiffened, and he stopped looking at Dust.After finishing those words in one breath, I was a little out of breath, and paused, "So, it's best for me, isn't it?" After saying these words, I slumped on the ground exhausted, and I said everything I needed to say, Kangxi can do whatever he wants.I couldn't help but raised my hand and held the finger pull Yinxiang gave me through my clothes. I tried my best, really tried my best, you know, Yinxiang...

After a long time, "Why did you do this?" Kangxi asked slowly, his voice became softer, but I was taken aback.Why... I don't know why, but I just don't want Yinxiang to suffer. If I only know him from books, then what happened to him is nothing more than pity and lamentation.But now, his breathing, his eyes, and his bones and blood have been integrated into my life. I watched him suffer again and again with empathy, how could I let him fall into the pain that he could never extricate himself from.What's more, I always feel faintly in my heart that I shouldn't exist. I have changed too much in Yinxiang's life, good or bad, so if my disappearance is used to exchange for his safety, it should be considered a It's a very good deal... Thinking of this, I couldn't help but smile bitterly.

In a blink of an eye, I suddenly found that Emperor Kangxi was looking at me silently, I forced a smile, and said in a low voice: "Yinxiang has done everything that can be done for me, I just did what I should do." Kangxi was startled, Rubbing his forehead with his fingers, he sighed lightly: "Then have you ever thought about how Yin Xiang will deal with himself after he finds out about this?" His heart convulsed, and a sense of dampness rushed into his eyes. I closed my eyes hard, and after a while I looked up at Kangxi: "My choice is the same as yours." I stared at him and said word by word: "Two-harm-phase-comparison-take-its- light."

Kangxi was taken aback, a trace of helpless paleness and the embarrassment of being stepped on the pain flashed past his eyes, and it took me a moment to feel that no matter how wise and wise Kangxi is, he is still a mortal and a father after all, but he has too many Ordinary people don't have to go through painful choices. "Is there anything else you want to say?" After a while, Kangxi who returned to normal said calmly.I wanted to shake my head, if I couldn't save my life, then what else can I ask for, but then I suddenly thought of something, so I bent down: "Yes, please don't offend my family, my majesty, I have feelings for them." I have always been indifferent, and they have not benefited from me, so don't blame them for such bad things." After I finished speaking, I kowtowed heavily.Others don't tell me, that mother-in-law is sincere to me after all, even though she loves her own daughter, not me, a magpie's nest and a fake, I fell on the ground, and the room was silent... "Come here." Kangxi suddenly called out sharply, and Li Dequan responded, "Tell the guards to come in." "Cha." Li Dequan hurriedly agreed and backed out, not daring to look at me for half an eye.There was a sound of footsteps, and Detai's simple and heavy voice sounded: "Slave pays respects to the emperor." Kangxi took two steps back and forth, looked at me again, and suddenly turned back to the seat in the middle, and said slowly but clearly, " Lock Yalarta in a forbidden room, keep him under strict supervision, and return to Beijing for another trial, during which no one is allowed to approach, do you understand?!" Detai was stunned, but was intimidated by Kangxi's gloomy tone, and hurriedly called again. Say a thousand children: "cha, the slave obeys the order." Detai strode up to me, but he was embarrassed to pull me up, and couldn't help but feel a little at a loss. I shook my head slightly, and stood up staggeringly: "Thank you, Your Majesty, for your kindness!" But I couldn't help smiling bitterly, Thank you for the person who wants to kill me, really... Kangxi glanced at me indifferently, and waved at me. I turned around and followed Detai and walked out. There were guards in front of me and behind me. The elder brothers and ministers outside the door naturally heard the will of Emperor Kangxi just now. Ba Ye watched me come out in a daze. , while the somewhat bewildered Master Shi stood behind him, Master Jiu stood in the shadows, and Fourteen had a face of pain, his teeth clenched on his lower lip that had lost all color.Seeing me coming out, he took a step forward as if he wanted to say something, but he was grabbed by Brother Jiu behind him. I sighed in my heart and stopped looking at him. I just subconsciously followed the guards, walking on the Detai in front of me stopped suddenly, and I almost ran into him in a daze. Seeing him standing there in a daze and looking ahead, I followed his line of sight, it hurt so much... I couldn't help but clutch my chest with my hands, in the dim light, Fourth Master stood at the gate of the courtyard like a wood carving or stone sculpture , the eyes full of pain and depression are staring at me for a moment... Dawn, dark, this is the only feeling I have about the outside world, and time seems to have paused in the silence, which makes me feel a little unaware of the cold and heat.Then from the attic where Chengde was detained, he was moved to the carriage he was sitting in now, the only difference was that it was a little more rickety.The old eunuch who came to take care of me never said a word, just brought the food silently, and then removed the empty plate after I finished eating, and even cleaned the toilet bowl after I finished it in time.At the beginning, I was really embarrassed, and I murmured a few words of thanks, but I never got any response from him, until one day, I accidentally discovered that he was actually a mute with his tongue cut out. That day I couldn't even feel the daytime, my heart was beating so fast, I couldn't hold it down with my hands, until the dumb eunuch came in again to help me pack my daily necessities, staring at his dull face, a little muddy. In a blink of an eye, he didn't seem to notice, and went out after cleaning up. My heart stopped beating, but a suffocating fear locked my throat. "Bang Dang, Dang Dang", the carriage was walking on the official road without rushing, the windows around the car had been tightly pasted with mulberry paper, and I spent my daily necessities of life in this carriage, which was a few feet square, and the only way to judge time was The moment the old eunuch opened the curtain.I couldn't see the outside at all, but my eyes were subconsciously staring at the car window, imagining what the scenery outside was like and what other people were doing in my mind. I haven't said a word for ten days. In the first five days, I can still talk to myself, cheer myself up, and try not to let myself think too much.And ever since I saw that old eunuch Qi Gen's broken tongue, I don't want to talk anymore, I just sit quietly in the corner every day, eating when I'm asked, and sleeping when I'm asked.If you don't explode in silence, you die in silence. It's not that I don't understand this truth, but I still can't help myself and let myself slide slowly towards the bottom of the dark valley. Since that day, Kangxi has not summoned me again, but my diet and daily life are not bad, and the only difference between me and my past is that I don’t see the light of day.Thinking of this, I couldn't help touching the finger ring hanging on my chest. This was my only comfort. Whenever I thought that the time when the carriage stopped and let me get off might be the end of my life, I was so frightened that I wanted to go crazy. And this finger is the only evidence that can prove that everything I have done is worthwhile.And... it's fourth master's heart-wrenching gaze, looking into fourth master's eyes that day, for some reason, my tears just fell out drop by drop, and the sudden grievance in my heart made me want to cry out loud , but the muscles on his face made a big smile on his own initiative.Seeing my smile, Fourth Master was taken aback, his lips trembled slightly, but he couldn't utter a word, seeing him bit his lower lip hard, a trace of blood gradually oozes out. Those drops of blood and this finger-wrench accompanied me through this difficult journey of death.Sometimes I also wonder if those on death row will also count down the day of the end like me.Just like this, counting, eating, and sleeping every day... Maybe after today, I don’t have to be afraid anymore. Today is the sixteenth day. According to the calculation of the distance, I should reach the capital. The carriage became winding and winding, then stopped suddenly, and there was a faint human voice. I was leaning against the board wall and was about to sit up, when the curtain at the door was suddenly pulled open, and the light was fierce. The shot came in, I couldn't help but raised my hand to cover my eyes, and the golden stars danced around in my closed eyes. There was a rustling sound, as if someone was flipping through and checking something, I managed to open my eyes to see, a figure was retreating, and the curtain was closed again, the corner of the clothes flashed, and in an instant, I I have already seen the second person I have seen in these days, because I am too familiar, it is the color of the guards of the Forbidden Palace. Finally, if there is a mirror in front of me, I can see the expression on my face, it must be extremely weird, because I don't know whether I am crying or laughing now.The carriage continued to move forward, and it seemed to be a long and short distance. The carriage finally stopped. The old eunuch lifted the curtain of the carriage and made a gesture to signal me to get out of the carriage.For a moment, I had the idea of ​​staying in the car, as if I could temporarily avoid the terrible fate in front of me, but in a moment I shook my head at my naive idea, gritted my teeth and moved away.These days I either lie down or sit, my legs seem to be numb, and when I support the old eunuch’s hands to get out of the car, I feel his hands are dry and cold, and a chill creeps up my heart along his fingers, I can’t help it The ground let go, and the moment my feet touched the ground, numbness and soreness surged up like needle pricks. I couldn't help shaking, but I would rather fall than touch that old eunuch again. The old eunuch didn't take the initiative to help me, but only waited for me to stand firmly before leading me forward.I looked back, and there were more than a dozen guards and eunuchs standing on the other side of the carriage, but everyone turned their backs to me and did not dare to turn their heads.I grinned wryly, and followed the old eunuch who was waiting for me step by step. I saw the high palace walls all around, and it was dark, but there was a long and narrow corridor in front of me, so dark that I couldn't see the end. , I couldn't figure out where it was in the darkness, but my heart skipped a beat for no reason.The only light came from the lamp in the hand of the old eunuch in front of me, flickering, extremely desolate, the sound of footsteps echoed in the dark void, my heart beat faster and faster, but it was not because of fear, but because of It's because of an increasingly familiar feeling, could it be... The old eunuch in front of me suddenly stopped in his tracks. I looked over and saw a mottled wooden door looming in the flickering lights. "With a sound, it opened slowly, and a deep breath floated out.The old eunuch signaled me to go in, I subconsciously grasped the collar, and walked in slowly with my legs as if stepping on cotton. There were a few people standing in the yard, but I didn't care to look carefully, but walked slowly but firmly to the house At the door, I secretly took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to look at the lintel... "So it's called Yunxiu." I muttered to myself vaguely, "Hehe..." An uncontrollable smile came up, "Haha, haha..." I laughed out loud.The old eunuch who had been with me for sixteen days without changing his face finally raised his eyes, and looked at me who was out of breath from laughing in panic. For a while, only my slightly crazy laughter echoed in the yard Then, the other people in the yard couldn't help but took half a step back. "Ahem..." I laughed so hard that I couldn't help coughing, covered my mouth, and calmed myself down slowly. The trachea gradually became smoother, and finally I couldn't help but look up at the door again. On the road, there is no place to look for when you break through the iron shoes, and it takes no effort to get here... A sense of peace that I haven't seen for a long time overflows my chest. Although the place is dark and gloomy like a cage, it makes me feel the distance from home.I rubbed my face with my hands, turned to look at the silent crowd, and asked indifferently: "What do you want me to do now?" After not speaking for a long time, my tongue was a little stiff, and my voice sounded very vague.A eunuch flashed out of the shadows. It was too dark to be seen, but the voice was still clear: "You should rest first." After speaking, he took out a bunch of keys from his waist and walked quickly At the door of the house, I opened the door lock with a clatter, and walked in. After a while, the room was lit up, and the eunuch appeared at the door, and bowed to invite me in. I didn't want to ask too much, so I walked in. The room was still tidy, and the mattress was new, but there was a faint musty smell, but it was much better than the dilapidated ones in the 21st century. , I couldn't help but smile wryly.There were already two young eunuchs behind him, one made a pot of hot tea, the other brought several plates of snacks, the sweet smell wafted over with the wind.I turned around and saw a desk in front of the bed, so I couldn't help walking over it. A ream of Song paper, a Duan inkstone, two ingots of Hui ink, and a few wolf hairs of different thicknesses were neatly placed on the desk.I was stunned, and picked up a little wolf pen and looked at it in my hand, those pens and inkstone were actually my daily use, a trace of sarcasm welled up in my heart, and I turned to look at the leading eunuch who was serving respectfully beside me: "You are thoughtful. "My sarcasm fell on the eunuch's shoulders like dust, and he respectfully replied with an attitude that he didn't even want to brush it off: "Fu Jin, please rest early, if you have any orders, please tell the servants, the servants are cheap My name is Wang Fuer." After speaking, he glanced at me.I opened my mouth subconsciously, but I just waved my hand. He gave a thousand blows and led the two little eunuchs out. I stood there for a while, I didn't know what it was like, I just sat on the stool slowly, picked up the teapot on the table and poured myself a cup of tea, a smell of Pu'er slowly surrounded me with the heat , I closed my eyes and didn't want to drink, but simply felt the warmth in my hand that I hadn't seen for a long time. Just now he wanted to ask the eunuch about Yinxiang, maybe because he had been imprisoned for too long these days, his mind became dull, and he wanted to do some stupid things that he would never do in the past.I can't help but look around, windows, walls, beams, pillars... I once told Xiaochun that fate is just an excuse that people can't explain things, and they don't care about the pain and sorrow in it. Said, this is your fate, it must be the worst result.Thinking about me who said these words at the time, I must have spoken earnestly and with foresight.But looking at myself now, what I said at that time was simply a joke. I was the one who was fiddled with by the hand of fate and fiddled with me without knowing it. It’s a pity that Xiao Chun’er can’t see it... Thinking of Xiao Chun’er, I feel blocked, I shook my head and didn't think about it any more. A few days ago, Master Shi's sentence of "the promiscuous court" had already explained too many problems. I tried my best to wake her up, but the result was still the same, and even Yinxiang's life was affected.If Xiao Chun'er said to me again at this time, "This is my life", I'm afraid I would have no choice but to nod.Thinking of Yinxiang, I felt a pain in my heart. I don't know what he is doing now. If I guessed correctly, Kangxi should still be imprisoning him.If I let him know what I did and my situation at this time... I couldn't help shivering, and didn't dare to think about it anymore. It may be that I have been detained for too long, I am a little dizzy, and now I don't feel sleepy at all. After thinking about it carefully, I took an ingot of ink and rubbed it slowly in the inkstone.Stained with ink with wolf brushes, hanging his wrists on the paper, unable to write for a long time, only feeling that there are thousands of words in his heart, but he can't express every single word. "Pa" a drop of ink fell thickly on the snow-white Song paper, splashing dots of ink marks, looking at the speckled paper, an ominous feeling hit my heart, I swipe the paper into a ball, Throwing it out fiercely, the ball of paper rolled lightly into the corner. After making up my mind, I decided to write down all the funny cross talks and jokes I know. Yinxiang likes to listen to these the most. My favorite sheer smile.Thinking of this, I quickly put down my pen, as if someone was chasing me, and wrote one after another... As I wrote, my thoughts were surging, and the words I wanted to say poured out like a tide.I muttered to myself, as if Yinxiang was facing me face to face on the paper. I couldn't help laughing when I wrote it happily, and tears fell on the paper uncontrollably when I wrote it difficult. I didn't care. Just writing, I don't know how long it has passed, I just feel that the candlelight is gradually flickering and dimming... "Wow..." It seemed to be the faint sound of paper shaking. I paused and was about to move when I felt my arms go numb. When I raised my head, the sun that I hadn't seen for a long time was directly shining into my eyes. I quickly closed my eyes, but I enjoyed the feeling of the sun on my face. It turned out that I fell asleep without knowing it. I closed my eyes and stretched my waist. I haven’t slept so soundly for a long time. It may be because I was exhausted because of the bleak future, or I was relieved to find that I might escape the catastrophe and return to modern times. Dream.My body hurts a bit, I didn’t sleep well last night, I opened my eyes, stood up and wanted to exercise my muscles, but found a person standing by, holding something I wrote last night... I was stunned, still a little confused in my heart, just stared at that person for a while, and suddenly realized, I took a stride, snatched the piece of paper back, and said sharply, "What are you doing here?!..." Fourteenth elder brother stood in front of the window in a daze, still holding one of my jade rods in his hand, pinching and turning it unconsciously.For my undisguised hostility, there was no laughter or sarcasm as usual, his face seemed to become blurred, and the facial features were clearly carved on the face, but it gave people a feeling of being covered in clouds. Just now, a loud shout made my heart pound non-stop, the room was terribly quiet, only occasionally my suppressed heavy breathing came out, the moment I saw him, an uncontrollable hatred surged from the bottom of my heart , I can't wait to slap him a few times, and then kick him to the sky.My eyes must have been sharp, Fourteen finally moved away his eyes that were staring at me, and a touch of weakness that I had never seen in his eyes slipped out of his eyes without any concealment.The rising morning glow sprinkled on him through the window lattice, and the soft color reflected his face paler, his stiff body was like a statue, I couldn't help but think, if I had to give the statue a name, it should be called For "regret"... My throat tightened inexplicably, I closed my eyes, and let out a long breath. All the anger, hostility, and contempt seemed to be dissipated with the carbon dioxide and the wind. I think it's too strange, Ba Ye and his hands and eyes are open to the sky, I don't know how many times I have been taught.Turning around, I picked up the papers scattered on the table and the ground one by one, and stacked them one by one in order.What will happen to Yinxiang when he sees these, I can't help but guess, will he realize that I have no choice but to keep them carefully, or will he resent my self-assertive decision and tear them to pieces. "Oh..." I couldn't help but sighed again, no matter what his reaction was, I probably didn't have the life to witness it with my own eyes... "Xiaowei..." Fourteen's hoarse voice sounded softly behind me.My deliberately busy hands froze slightly, and I calmed down, and I said lightly: "You go, the emperor has ordered that no one should contact me, do you want to disobey the holy order?" thing. "Xiaowei, I..." Elder Fourteen called out in a low voice, but there was no more words.I just feel that my heart is on fire, and I don't want to argue with him anymore. What else does he want, what does he want me to say, forgive him for wanting to kill my husband, but accidentally hit the passenger car and killed me, or something... I I couldn't help shaking my head with a somewhat angry smile. If that's the case, I can only say that he thinks too highly of me, and I don't have such a big heart.But there was still silence behind him, he didn't speak anymore, but he didn't leave either. It's really unbearable, since he wants to embarrass himself, then... I turned around and looked at him: "You..." But the rest of the words were choked in my throat, and those black eyes exactly like Fourth Master looked straight at I, it seems to be full of thousands of words that cannot be uttered, I couldn't bear to look away, but I thought in my heart, it turns out that people without tears can cry bitterly... Behind me was the desk, and I couldn't help but grasp the edge of the table with my hands. A sudden pain came from my fingers, and I subconsciously looked down, only to find that my knuckles were all white from the force, but since I first saw Brother Fourteen, Scenes quickly slipped through my mind.The fourteenth elder brother who kissed me to anger Shisan, but was choked by my action of wiping his face with his sleeve; the one who asked me jealously in the paddock, if Shisan and fourth master had an accident at the same time, I would go to rescue Whose fourteenth elder brother; the fourteenth elder brother who toasted me with a hoarse voice in the bridal chamber... I shook my head vigorously, and the one who will be suppressed by my own elder brother in the future will never be able to do it for the rest of my life The high-spirited general king... Brothers win the heir, either you die or I die, the process is tragic, and there will be no warmth, but unfortunately I can only look at the problem from the standpoint of Yinxiang and the fourth master, so... I lowered my head to calm myself , raised his eyes to look at the fourteenth brother on the opposite side, stared at him firmly, and said slowly: "You are a man, there are things that men must do, and since you have done it, don't regret it." Brother Fourteen was taken aback, the muscles on his face twitched slightly, his nose fluttered, he half-opened his mouth, but couldn't say anything, I sighed secretly, I can still live if I do evil, I do it myself... ... I slowly turned my back, as if stuffing a handful of rotten cotton wool in my heart: "You go, I don't want to see you again from now on." After a pause, I finally couldn't help but sarcastically said, "Even if I want to see it, I probably won't have the chance." There was a "click" sound behind him, and after a while of silence, footsteps sounded, the door opened with a "squeak", and then slowly closed with a "squeak".I stood silently at the desk, my mind blank.After an unknown amount of time, I suddenly felt a numbness in my calf, obviously from standing for a long time. I licked my lips, turned around and walked towards the bed. "Kala" kicked something, I looked down and saw that it was a half-broken white jade pen, I subconsciously bent my legs to pick it up, a scarlet pierced into my eyes.There was heat in his eyes for no reason, he stared blankly for a while, then walked slowly to the wastebasket, let go... Another six days passed in a blink of an eye, and no one bothered me anymore, and there was no news from outside. This claustrophobic courtyard seemed to be forgotten by others, and I didn't care. Apart from eating and sleeping, I just kept writing, Although I don't know how much time I have left, I know that I still have nearly half of my life and haven't finished talking to Yinxiang.I can neither embroider nor cut clothes and make shoes, but I don't want to leave Yinxiang with a little thought, so I can only write desperately, although I don't know whether Yinxiang can see these things... He will eventually know why I left him. I'm not worried that he will be so weak that he commits suicide for a woman. Even if he wants to, there will still be Si Ye, even Kangxi, watching over him.But I am worried that his passion will make his life worse than death. The relationship between us is too deep, even different. Hehe... I looked at the text in my hand and smiled wryly. If this piece of paper is brought into modern times, it will probably be regarded as an inspirational article and shown to people with depression.I wrote and wrote all day today, with only one central meaning, that is, one must live, and only by living can there be hope... The door squeaked. The door is too old. The only advantage is that it can be used as a doorbell. You don't have to worry about the kind of thing that happens when someone comes in and stands behind you without you noticing it.The footsteps behind me were very light, maybe the little eunuchs came to bring me dinner again, these days they did not speak more than 20 sentences to me, and the answer "yes" accounted for more than half of them.I waved my hand: "Put it aside, I'll eat it later." "Yes." A soft voice came over, my back stiffened, and I slowly turned my head... the handle head, the bottom of the flower pot, the sky green kan'er, the plain eight-panel skirt, and the seven fragrances A beautiful face instantly appeared in front of my eyes.I looked at her for a while, she was looking at me at first, but after a while she lowered her eyes, I thought about it, turned around and put the pen in my hand, pressed the unfinished letter with a paperweight, and turned the stool around direction, sit facing Qixiang. "How is Yinxiang?" I asked softly.Qixiang paused, then lowered her head and said in a soft voice: "The Thirteenth Master is still detained in the beekeeping lane. It is believed that although he has suffered a little, he is still in good health. It's just that the guards are stricter and no one is allowed to approach." "Oh, really..." I felt relieved, and Kangxi really didn't let him out.As for the stricter supervision, firstly, it is because he does not want any rumors to reach his ears; secondly, it is better to protect him.It seems that although what I said that day was cryptic, Kangxi still understood it... "Fourth Master has been working on this matter, I heard that he knelt outside the Qianqing Palace all night." Qi Xiang suddenly whispered, I paused, and my heart writhed in pain.These days, I have written countless things that I want to leave for Yinxiang, but I dare not write a single word to fourth master... I closed my eyes and waited for the pain to subside.After a while, I opened my eyes: "Is my family okay?" Qixiang was startled: "Yes, the matter of your imprisonment is a secret. The emperor issued a strict decree that no one is allowed to disclose it." I clicked head, and asked the last question: "How did you come in?" Qixiang smiled slightly: "This is a side room at the back of your lord's side hall. The emperor ordered you to be detained here, and your lord儿照看。”我一愣，转念明白过来，这种涉及宫闱丑闻的事情怎能外露呢，只有把我囚禁在宫中，而贵主儿是现在宫中份位最高的妃嫔，这样的事情自然只有交给她办了。里外前后瞬时就贯通了，这些天皇帝也不好过吧，我淡淡地摇了摇头，就算魇镇的事情我一力扛了，太子终是有失德行，再加上素行不良，让皇帝不能不处置他。还有他那些个有本事的儿子们，搞出来的阴谋诡计，恐怕不是“心寒”两个字就能解决的吧…… “这是贵主儿让我拿来给您的东西。”七香的声音将我从思绪中拽了回来。“喔，是吗？”我随意地应了应，并没有什么兴趣去拆看七香怀里抱着的包袱。七香却是表情怪异地盯着我，眼中有着一点点我看不明白的东西，更多的却是惊惶与紧张。我定定地瞧了她两眼，缓缓地伸了手出去：“拿来吧。”我低声说。七香脸色一僵，慢慢走了过来，伸手递了那个包袱给我，她的手却在微微颤抖着。 我接了过来放在膝上，一层层地打了开来，一套绣工精美的袍服出现在我眼前。嘴里“咯嘣”一声，咬牙的声音吓了自己一跳，太阳穴突突地跳着，我怔怔地看着手中的衣服，那大红的颜色仿佛要将我淹没：“呵呵……” 退到一旁的七香有些惊惶地抬头看我，我才发现自己竟然在笑：“好呀，没想到还有穿上正福晋行头的一天，哼哼……”我无意识地用手指在那光滑又冰凉的绸缎上游走，那红色却渐渐变得惨白起来，恍若一条白绫紧紧地勒在我的脖颈上，让我窒息…… “还有事儿吗？”我抬眼看向七香。她吓了一跳，看见我平静的面色又是一怔：“没什么了，主子只是说让我把这个给您，是皇上的旨意，并没别的话。”我点点头：“知道了，那你下去吧。”七香福了福身，一步步往外退去，我只是冷冷地坐在椅子上，脑中乱得很。 “福晋。”七香突然顿住了脚步，“奴婢……能帮您做些什么？”她讷讷地问道。我一愣，抬头去看她，她清秀的脸却含着一丝坚定。说真的，到现在我也不懂七香，她到底是什么人，又跟胤祥有着怎样的瓜葛，可我已经没有机会去问胤祥了。低头看看手中的袍服，这分明就是一道阎王的催命符…… 我猛地站了起来，把衣服扔在一边儿，飞快地把这些天写的东西收拾了起来，厚厚的一摞，我四处寻找，一把把用来包衣服的那个包袱皮从地上捡了起来，把我写的全部珍而重之地细细包了起来。轻轻在那上面按了按，我小心翼翼地把这个包袱拿了起来，重重吸了口气，转过身向七香递过去：“如果可以的话，帮我交给胤祥。”七香有些不敢置信地抬眼看了看我，我点了点头。她踉跄着脚步走了上来，哆嗦着手接了过去，包袱离手的一刹那，我感到身体的一部分也随之而去了。 七香仿佛把命抱在怀里似的紧紧搂住那个包袱，她抿了抿干涩的嘴唇，有些艰难地问我：“您……相信我……”我一顿，哑声说：“我没别的选择，只有选择相信你，若你肯尽力而为，我自当感念你的恩德。” 七香震了震，弯了弯身，转身向门口走去，“吱呀”一声，门扇半开，她突然回头：“您真的不想知道……”我摇了摇头，打断了她：“我不想知道，你与胤祥如何，那是你的事，与我无关。”看着七香苍白的容色，我淡然一笑：“你快走吧，我只是不想死都不安心。”七香睁大了眼，旋即又低下头，深深地给我行了个宫礼，头也不回地出去了。 我怔怔地站在门口，外面什么也看不到，什么也听不到了，只有从门缝儿里吹进的风，还能带来一丝生命的气息。我看看书桌，看来我也不用再写什么了，就转身走到床边，仰躺了下去，帐顶悬挂的如意绦在微微摇晃着，我转头看看被我丢在枕边的大红袍服，上面也绣着团团如意，忍不住苦笑出来，如意……我的死又会如了谁的意呢…… 一阵人声儿传来，我揉了揉眼，外面的灯火晃得我有些眼花，灯火？ !我慢慢地坐起身来，许久不见灯火闪耀了…… “吱呀”老木门例行通报了一声有人到来，外面的光亮让我有些不适应，我眯了眯眼。“福晋。”一个人影儿打了个千儿下去，说完站起来回身关起了门，屋里顿时又暗了许多。我直直盯着眼前的人瞧，他脸上虽还是一片恭敬笑意，眼中却闪过一丝不自在，我心里忍不住冷笑了一声：“竟然是李公公大驾光临。”太监大总管李德全脸色一僵，却是老道地低头说：“奴才可不敢当。” 我盘起腿来，心里已经明白了他的来意，白天七香送来衣服已经等于先行通知我了，我捏紧了拳头，身上却是一会儿发冷，一会儿发热。见我不说话，只是盯着他瞧，李德全清咳了两声：“皇上有话问您。”说完等着我跪下来回话，等了会儿见我动也不动，他眉头一皱，面上有些惊奇，却也忍了，又咳了两声：“嗯哼……皇上问，你是否后悔？”我的舌头早就僵了，方才也不是摆清高，而是实在动不了了。可康熙的问题却如冷水浇头一样，让我打了一个激灵，我缓缓挺直了背脊，一字一顿地说：“我—不—后—悔！” 李德全眼神闪了闪，却没说什么，只是低头轻叹了口气，又抬起头清晰地说：“皇上有旨意。”我的心猛地抽了一下，下意识地想用手撑着自己站起身来，可全身的力气似乎都已经消耗殆尽了，勉强咧了咧嘴：“李公公，非是我无礼，实在是没力气站起来了，就在这儿听，行吧？”李德全一怔，躬了躬身：“是。”又清了清喉咙，端容说，“皇上口谕，雅拉尔塔氏·茗薇，因嫉成恨，做下丧心病狂之事，罪无可恕，念其素行尚好，赐自尽，并从皇室玉牒中除名，钦此。”他顿了顿，“福晋，您……听明白了？”我木然地点了点头。他又说：“对外会宣称，您因为心智疯迷，重病而……嗯哼……决不会罪及您的家人的。” 呵呵……我心中泛起一阵苦笑。从皇室除名，那就是说我的一切将会被抹个干干净净，不会在历史上留下半点痕迹……我就说看了那么些清史稿，可却从未见过我这一号。我下意识地又打量了一下四周，看来我真的要跟眼前的一切说再见了，这几年的一切，就仿佛是梦一场…… 门“吱呀”又响了一声，我调转了眼光看过去，一个小太监拎了一盒子东西进来，恭恭敬敬地交给了一旁的李德全，就弯身退了下去。我愣愣地看着李德全把那个盒子放在了桌上，又一一拿出一个酒壶，一只杯子，他的动作仿佛慢动作一样，我觉得四周的空气也变得凝固起来。 “哗啦啦……”水声响起，那是毒酒砸在杯底的声音，我的手开始剧烈地颤抖，一刹那间，我想尖叫，想夺路而逃，想……眼看着李德全一步步地走了上来，到了跟前恭敬地弯下身去，手臂向前平伸，黄杨木托盘上，是一小小的白玉酒杯，里面隐见水波摇动…… 好凉……这是我握住那个酒杯唯一的感觉，心里却在诧异自己什么时候把这杯子拿起来的，一股“桂花陈”特有的香气扑鼻而来，玉色的酒杯，朱红的酒液，真是漂亮，怪不得人说，艳丽的东西通常都有毒，天然的如此，人工制造的亦然。这是为了什么，难道是为了减少死亡的恐惧吗……用力地咽了口干沫，心里狂叫着，结束吧，让一切都结束吧……我缓缓地举起了手中的酒杯，贴近唇，闭上眼，一扬头…… “福晋，奴才退下了。”李德全打了个千儿，转身退了出去，门“吱呀”一声关上了，我重重地往背后的板壁靠去。这回好了，该干的都干了，回家的车票也已经被我咽进了肚子里，现在唯一能做的就是等待，只是不知道自己是会一觉醒来，就回到现代去，还是直接去了那永远不用再醒的地方呢…… 脑中渐渐变得一片空白，肚子里也火烧火燎起来，只是不知道是毒药发作，还是酒劲儿泛上来了，我下意识地从领口里把那个扳指掏了出来，这也是白玉的，但却是温温的，我把它放在唇上摩挲着，胤祥……对不起，真的对不起了……来这里与你相识并非是我想要的，可就这样离你而去，也不是我想要的…… 一抹沉重的意识从上而下地压了过来，我眼前的东西越发地模糊起来，只有一点蜡烛的灯火还隐约跳跃着……我用尽力气握紧手中的扳指，再见了，胤祥，还有，胤…… “咝……”头好痛呀，我忍不住用手按紧了太阳穴，让那痛意慢慢地消退，闭着眼等了一会儿，疼痛的感觉终于消失，可我依然不想睁眼。鼻子里闻到的是一股股年久失修的霉烂味道，“呵呵……”我低低笑了出来，真不知道老天爷待我薄是不薄，滚烫的眼泪从紧闭的眼皮中挤了出去，流到下颚时却已变得冰凉。我张开眼，用手撑着已经霉烂的书桌站起身，再也不想看这里第二眼，转身推门出去，老门照例“吱呀”响了一声，一股莫名的亲切浮上心头，转瞬又是一痛。 出了院门，外面已是夕阳夕照了，我的脚仿佛不受控制似的，一步一挪地往长春宫走去，长长的甬道是这般熟悉，又是这样的陌生，路上的游人渐渐多了起来，不时有人说笑着、惊叹着、评论着，从我身边擦过。眼看着长春宫的大门近在眼前，我站住脚，用力地做了几个深呼吸，鼓起勇气迈步走了进去……那砖，那瓦，那梁，那柱，除了变得斑驳老旧，一切还是老样子。我日日走过的廊子，第一次擦洗瓷器的台阶，替德妃整理信札的偏房……我用手指一一滑过。 可能是快要关门了，游人已经大减，这长春宫里也变得寂静起来，偶有人进来，见我这副样子，可能也只是以为我太过沉醉在历史里了。前前后后看了几遍，我走到平日里长坐的廊子上坐下，闭上眼睛。我经常在这儿和胤祥谈笑，也曾和四爷偶遇，他们的脸像走马灯似的在我脑海中疯转。“啊。”我忍不住低低叫了出来，一动也不想动，就在那里坐了不知多久，任凭眼泪流了又干。一股微风袭来，还是那股味道，里面隐隐传来胤祥和四爷曾跟我说过的话：“小薇，爱你……爱你……” “小薇……”一抹熟悉的声音传入了我的耳朵，我一怔，只觉得眼前一片晕黑，什么也看不见。怎么了，难道说我又睡着了？是不是小秋儿来找我了？我也算失踪了半天，她肯定也心急了吧。 “小薇。”呼唤声又传来，我大大地一震。wrong!这声音不是小秋的，而是…… 我勉力张开了眼睛，一震晕眩袭来，我闭了闭了眼，再睁开，天青色的绸帐，浅粉的流苏，香软的缎被……这一切太熟悉了，我日日就生活在这样的环境里，这到底是怎么回事儿，我还在做梦吗？那到底哪个才是真的，老天爷到底想要如何…… “啊！”我想放声尖叫，却只传出一声嘶哑的喘气，这时才觉得喉咙有如火烧一般，每次呼吸都像刀割一样……这疼痛让我镇定了下来，闭上眼，仔细想了想，看来那杯毒酒我真的喝了没错，但却没有死成，为什么呢……看来方才回到现代的梦，是我潜意识的渴望反射吧。那现在……紧张的心情令我的呼吸急促起来，嗓子立刻加倍疼痛起来，我忍不住用手去握住喉咙，可却被另一只手紧握了过去，一阵冰凉的感觉袭了过来。我心里一抖，这是……我想看又不敢看，忍了许久，终是张开眼向那人望去，眼泪刷地一下流了下来，我哆嗦着嘴唇却说不出半句话来，过了良久，一丝再喑哑不过的断句从我喉咙里飘了出来：“你疯了……”他一顿，把我的手指一一与他的相交握紧，然后牢牢地盯着我，哑声说：“对，从你掰开我手指的那天起，我就疯了……”