Chapter 21 Chapter Twenty-One

Little by little, my patience rested on the anticipation of the child who was about to be born, and I was even a little thankful that this kind of falling out of favor allowed me to avoid the staggered disputes after being pregnant with Liujia, and gained a temporary peace. On the day of Chongyang, as usual, the concubines in the palace wanted to congratulate the Empress Dowager and all the empress dowagers. I was under confinement, so I couldn't go there, so I prepared flower cakes and chrysanthemum wine, and put a sachet stuffed with dogwood. They were all tied with red ribbons, covered with mulberry leaves and elm leaves, made into three-color gifts and delivered to Fang Ruo, asking her to present them to the Queen Mother for me, congratulating the joy of the evening scene of Sangyu.

In the evening, the Empress Dowager sent Aunt Sun to see me in person, and said a few words of condolence, "Your Majesty has a body, and now I am really wronged. If there is any inconvenience, you can ask Fangruo to come and tell this servant, and this servant is willing to be Your Majesty." Do your best." I said modestly: "It's nothing. It's just that today is the Double Ninth Festival, and I know that my brother climbed to the high place, and there is one less person planted with dogwood. I just miss my family." Aunt Sun's expression froze, and then she smiled gently: "The rules in the palace are that when the mistress is eight months pregnant, relatives from her natal family can enter the palace to accompany the delivery. Counting the days of the empress, there are seven months, and the servants will remember to remind the internal affairs The government arranged for the mother of the empress, Mrs. Pingchang County, and sister-in-law Xinping County Jun to enter the palace." In this way, I comforted myself, knowing that my father and brother at home have not been implicated because of my falling out of favor, so I have more hope.

At the end of September, I wholeheartedly waited for the news that my mother and sister-in-law could enter the palace to accompany me, but there was no news from the Ministry of Internal Affairs.I couldn't help being anxious, and asked Fangruo, but she just faltered, and the Ministry of Internal Affairs also pushed back and forth without answering.But at this time of year, Li Chang came to send a message again, saying that the weather has been cold recently, please don't go out to relax, so as not to be cold.And the guards guarding Tangli Palace became more strict.Although I don't know what happened, I also think it is unusual.In desperation, he had no choice but to find an opportunity to stop the small internal supervisor of the Ministry of Internal Affairs when he was delivering something.

The little eunuch was obviously new here, with a very unfamiliar face.Huanbi and I were sitting across from each other, sewing a small quilt for a child to cover after birth, with the pattern of bats in a group of flowers, very happy. The little eunuch knelt on the ground, and I said kindly, "What's your name? Why haven't I seen it before?" He kowtowed, a little timidly: "Slave Xiao Guizi just came here. Originally, Brother Huang was supposed to come today, but he suddenly had a stomachache, so he changed the slave to deliver big hair materials to the empress."

Seeing my wink, Huanbi hurriedly helped him up, and said kindly, "You've worked hard, these pieces of money are rewarded by our mother to drink tea." Xiao Guizi was very happy, and quickly kowtowed to thank him.I smiled and said: "What is this, I will reward you well on the day my family members enter the palace." He was a little puzzled, and raised his head and said: "Thank you for the reward. But recently, I haven't heard from the father-in-laws that the wife of the family is going to enter the palace. If the mother's family comes, the servant must have informed it early."

I was even more puzzled and worried, but my face didn't show a trace, and I said with a smile: "Yes. Where did you work in the past?" He said: "The slave is also in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, but he didn't work in the house before, but delivered tea to the guards outside." I was happy in my heart, the guards guarding the palace gate could hear the news the most, so I worried: "My maiden name is Zeng, and she is not a prominent family. I think I am not allowed to enter the palace to visit me. Like a few wives, they can often enter the palace." The little nobleman blinked, and said: "I don't know where Mr. Zeng is, but he must be safe and wealthy. It's just that the Zhen Mansion used to be beautiful, but now it's not. I heard it when I entered two days ago. The Minister of the Ministry of War Lord Zhen is in prison." My heart beat wildly, and my face changed drastically, but he continued to babble: "It's not enough, even the Yulin Army and the Hanlin Academy's servants and lecturers are gone, Boss Zhen He didn't keep his official title, and he was banned at home at a young age, and even the imperial seals of his wives were revoked, and his in-laws, Mr. Xue, were also implicated."

My voice was a little trembling, and I tried to hold back and said: "How did this happen, didn't Zhen's mansion make great contributions when it was Ping Runan King?" He still didn't realize it, and said with a smile: "Your Majesty doesn't know something. She has made great achievements and committed a great crime. Isn't the Murong family of Concubine Hua and the King of Runan a ready-made example? Master Zhen was accused .” Before I could speak in the future, Huanbi's face turned pale, her lips trembled slightly, and she rushed to ask, "Who reported it?"

When Xiao Guizi saw her like this, he was too frightened to speak anymore, Huanbi couldn't bear it anymore, he held his arm in desperation and shouted: "Say it!" Xiao Guizi couldn't help it, so he could only say: "The deputy commander of the Habayashi Army is in charge of the adults." Huanbi said anxiously: "Nonsense! Didn't Mr. Guan want to marry the second miss of the Zhen family? Why are you going to report on Mr. Zhen?" Xiao Guizi said "Hi": "I don't know anything about the officialdom, but everyone knew about it half a month ago. This slave is not talking nonsense!"

Half a month?Only I was kept in the dark. Huanbi was about to ask again, but Xiao Guizi found an excuse and fled out in panic.I sat down in a daze, the needle in my hand stuck straight into my finger, Huanbi let out an "oops", hurriedly took a white silk cloth to wrap it up, and shed tears: "Miss, what should I do?" I tried my best to hold back my tears and said: "Okay! Okay—" Before I finished speaking, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and I could hardly speak, so I forced myself to calm down and said: "Go ask Doctor Wen——" Wen Shichu waited for me to finish taking the anti-abortion and tranquilizing medicine, Jinxi covered me with a quilt and said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Wen, is your majesty alright?"

Wen Shichu frowned slightly, and said: "There is no serious problem, it's just that I have a few words to ask the empress what she means." I still had a faint pain in my stomach, so I nodded with difficulty: "I also have something to ask Mr. Wen." Jinxi hid herself and went out. Seeing Huanbi's loving eyes, I knew that she was also worried, so I also kept her.Wen Shichu was half blaming and half concerned, and said: "Why is your empress so anxious and heartbroken, so that the fetal gas is aroused?" I leaned up halfway, looked straight at him, and said: "Someone told me about my natal family today, and my lord can come out of the palace every day, so I must know everything about it."

He was anxious: "Your Majesty knows everything? Who is so bold!" I suddenly laughed, "My lord really knows. Even if I don't ask, there will be people who will try to get me to know." He said: "One is the emperor's order, and the other is that the minister must take into account whether the empress can bear it." I smiled palely: "Then now that I know about it, how long are you going to keep it a secret?" He kept his mouth shut, and I just looked at him calmly.His expression was calm, but his heart was like a sea of ​​​​turbulence. I wished he would tell me that everything was false, and that everyone in the family was well, safe and happy.However, he said: "The Zhen family has been completely defeated." My teeth were chattering, and he looked at my expression, hesitant to speak. I said desperately, "I'm fine, just tell me." He continued: "There is no title in one family, both the adults and the young lady are imprisoned, and the old lady and the old lady are also implicated and trapped at home, just like the situation of the empress." "Generally the same?" My tears flowed down, "I only receive care when I am pregnant, can my parents have this kind of treatment?" He was speechless, and I asked again: "Then what about Zhining, he is only one year old. Years old, who is taking care of him?" He was sad and helpless: "The little son is also in prison with his mother." I felt distressed, Zhi Ning, he is still a baby, how can he endure such pain.He told me the whole story, "Guanlu reported that Master Zhen was the leader when he put down the Runan King's rebellion, and after the rebellion he took credit for it many times, intending to entangle Lord Xue, Lord Guan, and Lord Luo to form a party of their own. " "Both ends of the first mouse?" I was surprised and shocked, "Why did you say that?" "Your Majesty, do you still remember a girl from Jiayi? She is the witness. She said that although your Majesty had a rift with Concubine Hua, in order to protect her own glory, Lord Zhen once deliberately approached King Runan as a wait-and-see." I was furious: "Isn't such a statement 'unreasonable'? Does the emperor believe it?" Wen Shichu said: "My lord's affair with Miss Jiayi was full of turmoil that day. Now that she has come out as a witness, people can't help but believe it." He hesitated for a moment and said: "It's a small matter to wait and see. After the incident of King Runan, the emperor is quite concerned about these heroes. However, there are such rumors that the matter of King Runan has not passed for a long time, so the emperor is very concerned about it, not to mention that the friendship between Lord Guan and Lord Zhen is not a day or two, and it is almost over In-laws, colleagues..." He didn't continue, but I knew that Xuan Ling must have believed it. He was already suspicious, he would doubt me and Xuanqing because of Cao Qinmo's words in Shuilv Nanxun Palace that day.After the incident of King Runan, he has never paid special attention to the heroes of King Ping Runan, and he did not deliberately favor the daughters of the heroes who entered the palace, just to avoid repeating the path of Concubine Hua.The plumbing's accusations violated his taboo, and there were witnesses, so how could he not believe it. As for Jiayi, I only asked my sister-in-law and brother to use fireworks to pretend to confuse me, and I only asked Runan Wang and his party to despise my brother and relax our vigilance, but I never arranged to choose a woman.I have never seen Jiayi before, I only know that she looks like a mausoleum, and I also know that my brother has arranged for her aftermath, the twists and turns, I am in the palace, of course I don't know.Could it be... who arranged for Jiayi to do it afterward? My heart was suddenly cold and bright, the mantis stalked the cicada, the oriole was behind, we have been mantises for others once in a lifetime.Not only me, my brother, but even the entire Zhen family were tricked into it! So quickly, everything was subverted, my fall from favor, and the decline of my family fortune. Wen Shichu said: "Your Majesty, it's all right, after all, you are not implicated, but your Majesty must not be impulsive. The young master Ruipin is arrogant and very out of the world. Because of the fact that her father, Mr. Luo, was wronged and imprisoned, she hanged herself to fight to the death. Make it clear." I was surprised, actually I don't have much friendship with Ruipin, she has always been high-spirited, she doesn't bother to compete with others, and doesn't make friends with others, she is indifferent to everyone, just like a narcissus, her character is natural.Although I will not get close to her in the future, I appreciate her. However... when Wen Shi saw my concern at the beginning, the feeling of regret between his brows was even heavier, "The emperor was very touched at first, but when he heard that An Fenyi was at his side that day, he was so frightened that he cried on the spot when he heard the news of Concubine Rui's death. From the words, it seems that the young master Ruipin threatened the emperor with death, but she has been convicted of the crime." Mausoleum!I almost gnashed my teeth, Ruipin had nothing against her, why did it come to this! After Wen Shichu left, I was silent for a long time, and Huanbi sat beside me with a sad face, sobbing softly. I said, "What's the use of crying?" Huanbi managed to hold back her tears, and had some doubts: "Miss, the young nobleman said that he had just arrived in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, and he didn't know that the lady's maiden name was Zhen, and we would believe her surname Zeng if we casually spoofed it, why is the son's official position so clear. " I snorted softly, tightened my grip on the quilt and said, "You also believe that he is a newcomer, since the emperor 'values' our palace so much, how could the House of Internal Affairs send a little eunuch who doesn't know anything so easily, It is clear that someone wants to use his mouth to tell us that if I am weaker, I am afraid I will not be able to keep this child." All the resentment surged into my heart in an instant, I only felt that it was extremely hard, and it took me a long time to say: "They are so vicious!" I propped myself up and sat up, took out the light-yellow paper from the drawer, I didn't pick up the pen, I felt so wronged in my chest, the paper was already wet with tears in my eyes.With tears and grief, I sealed the note and said to Huanbi, "Wait for Fangruo to hand it to her for me, and ask her to present it to the emperor." Think about it, today is not yesterday, and Xuanling is also Not necessarily willing to read it.With a slight sigh, he put the sympathetic knot he gave me that day on the note, "I tell Fangruo, be sure to deliver it." Huanbi knew what was important, and said solemnly: "Your maidservant knows what is important." Waiting anxiously like this, seeing the golden crow fall to the ground, the sky filled with colorful clouds, and the night wind blowing the stars bright, I felt a severe pain in my stomach, as if I drank too much wine when I was thirsty. It just depends on whether Xuan Ling is willing to see me. The sedan chair was outside the gate of the palace when the willows were on the moon. Li Chang came in person and said respectfully, "Your Majesty, please move to the Hall of Yiyuan." I was stunned for a moment, and finally came, so I said: "Eunuch, wait a moment, I will go after changing clothes." However, when he faced the mirror, he was shocked too, his cheeks were much thinner and paler, and the protruding collarbone was hidden in the sky blue plain embroidered gown, which only made people feel cold.After all, she lost weight, only her legs were swollen, and she was only haggard, without the slightest charm and beauty. My heart is desolate, Xuan Ling has been praising me, seeing me like this, I must be disgusted.Sweep the rouge lightly, and the rouge also seems to protrude on the face, half of it is not real.Holding half a box of rouge in my hand, I was also at a loss, no matter how beautiful it was, it was just the shadow of others in his eyes.That's all, that's all, why bother to make it look beautiful, haggard is more suitable to touch the heart in such a situation. So she put on a dark purple plain coat, tied up her hair with rhinoceros jade hairpins and golden combs, and hurriedly took Jinxi's hand to get on the sedan chair. It's really been a long time since Yiyuan Hall, Li Chang led me into the west room, and said softly: "An Fenyi just left, the emperor is waiting for the empress inside alone." I pulled back my clothes, and Fang Ruo helped me in, but she withdrew as soon as Fang entered.Xuan Ling turned his back to me, as if he was looking at something with his heart. He heard me come in without turning his head. I blessed him with difficulty, and said: "The emperor Jin'an." After a moment of embarrassing silence, he turned around and helped me, and said in a deep voice: "I'm inconvenient, so I don't need to salute." I thanked him, and he asked again: "Fang Ruo said that you have been dreaming a lot since you were pregnant, and now you sleep well. Are you still safe?" I asked eloquently, "Has the emperor seen the ministers and concubines dreaming and restless at night?" He was taken aback for a moment, and I said: "Then based on Fang Ruo's one-sided words, the emperor believes that the ministers and concubines are not sleeping well, and he doesn't ask. When I asked the imperial physician if he would prescribe Requiem Powder for the concubine, did the concubine dream about anything?" He slightly darkened, and said, "What do you want to say?" I was calm and calm, and said calmly: "The concubine just wants to say, don't listen to others' one-sided words and make judgments." He just asked, "Did you sleep well?" I couldn't, so I could only say: "In the first few months, it was really difficult to sleep peacefully, but now it's a little bit better." He smiled indifferently: "Then what Fang Ruo said is true." I shook my head sadly, and said: "Your Majesty, Aunt Fangruo didn't mean to lie to you, but courtiers, power overwhelms, not everyone can be honest and selfless!" He helped me to sit down, and said calmly: "You begged to see me in every possible way, and you didn't ask me if I was okay, did you just talk about it?" Is he okay?I raised my eyes indifferently, restrained myself, and never saw him again. I met him suddenly, just because my family's life was in his hands, such an embarrassing and embarrassing situation.In my heart, how can I still want him to be good?Looking at him now, he is the same as before, except that there is a trace of hostility in his eyes, and he feels even colder.After these days, I just feel dazed and ignorant, as if I don't miss it anymore, but the meeting still stirs my heart and lungs.I only know that it is neither near nor far, and tears flow down my cheeks. Facing my tears, his expression became more gentle, and he coughed and sighed, "Did you know that you were wrong for the crime of disrespect to Empress Chunyuan that day?" This sentence provoked the pain and humiliation in my heart, so I had to suppress it forcefully, and said: "If the concubine says it is unintentional, will the emperor believe it?" His tone was blunt, "A mistake is a mistake, whether it's unintentional or intentional." I was stunned, as if my heart had been severely grabbed by someone, the pain was unbearable, but the tears stopped, and I smiled with tears: "That's right, it's indeed my fault." I knelt down and said, "Chen Qie Offending the former empress is a serious crime, and I would rather be imprisoned for the rest of my life and be ashamed to see the sky. But please retry the case of the concubine and brother, so that no one will be wronged." I looked up sadly, "Your Majesty, please also read the death of Concubine Rui. For the sake." He looked at me stubbornly, "you can't believe everything you said just now, and I may not believe everything you say, but who is Jiayi? Didn't you arrange it for your brother? Now she is also talking back. And your brother It is true that she has a close relationship with Xue and Luo, Ruipin even pleaded with me repeatedly for your grounding. As far as I know, she has no relationship with you in the palace, if it is not entrusted by her father, why should you help me!" I don't know why Ruipin wanted to help me, was it just for the chat with her in Taiyechi a long time ago?I'm really at a loss for words, and I really have too many doubts about Jiayi. Xuan Ling's words rang in his ears coldly: "Your brother is really not wronged!" I tried my best: "Even so, the sister-in-law is a girl, and Zhi Ning is still in her infancy..." I choked up and said: "The concubine's elder brother has nothing to say about the society, and the outside world is strange and indisputable, and the concubine cannot know. But Does the emperor care about the loyalty of the elder concubine to the emperor?!" His eyes were a little suspicious, and they fell on a roll of memorials, flickering on and off: "King Qinghe has never been too involved in political affairs, and he also wrote letters to advise me on behalf of your brother..." I felt a "thump" in my heart, could it be that Xuan Ling Suspecting that his brother and Qinghe had been entangled in the past, he continued: "Zhen Yuandao and his wife are old, I can punish you lightly, but your brother's fault is not a small crime that can be forgiven lightly." He also couldn't bear it, "You I have released my sister-in-law and nephew this morning, but I don't know what the destiny is." What he said was strange, and I was shocked: "Why did the emperor say that?!" He sighed: "Your sister-in-law and nephew contracted malaria and fever in prison. An Fenyi pleaded repeatedly, and was even willing to ask the medical officer who served her to diagnose and treat them. I have already sent him there." The tip of my tongue quivered, and the prison was damp, but it was October, how could it be easy to get malaria, this is a deadly disease!What's more, the medical officer next to An Lingrong went to diagnose and treat him, so I don't feel relieved.I cried out sadly: "Your Majesty!—" He held my shoulders and said: "There is an imperial doctor here, and he will try his best to treat their mother and child." He paused, "But your elder brother formed a clique for selfishness, and I have decreed that he will be exiled to Lingnan. The prefect of the state is far away from the north of Sichuan, and my aunt thinks that he has worked hard all his life." The south of the Lingnan and the north of Sichuan are far apart, the south of the Lingnan is full of miasma, and the north of Sichuan is very steep. They are all lands with poor mountains and bad waters. How can my father survive at an old age?My heart is so sad and bitter that I can't add it, I have a slight colic in my stomach, and I climb up like a snake, and Yu Yao and Yu Rao have been pampered since childhood, how can they bear the pain of being displaced. I was so miserable that I couldn't bear the resentment at the bottom of my tongue any longer. I raised my head and stared at him: "Your Majesty! Is it really hard evidence or is it because the Emperor Runan is so hard to understand that he has a heart for others?" He was angry, his tone was stern, and he was so indifferent: "Do you know what you're talking about?!" With a wave of his hand in anger, he touched the bookshelf beside him, a piece of crimson Xue Tao paper It fluttered down from the pile of books and hit me in the face.I was kneeling, and wanted to push it away, but when I glanced at the paper, my whole body froze there, as if I was lying on ice. All the truth was originally just some fragmentary and clear words, but when these words really fell on this piece of paper, although I knew it long ago, my ashen heart burned again. I stared blankly, that blood-colored Xue Taojian was about to bleed out from my sight.The beating of the pulse is getting faster and faster, and it is pounding directly against the heart. It seems that something is about to explode in the chest, and the heart is like falling into the lake water of the twelfth lunar month. Going down, trembling like dead leaves remaining on the branches in the autumn wind, a voice in my heart shouted wildly, no!no!Wan Wan!Wan Wan!It turned out to be this Wan Wan!Wrong, all wrong, all wrong from beginning to end! "Send to Wanwan's beloved wife, let the sorrow go away, and only Siliang suffers from this body, often lingering in dreams, worrying and unforgettable. Thinking about the voice and appearance of the past, and mourning in my heart, I wrote "Shu Beifu" to mourn it. May Bingxue Fang's soul be alive Ling, thinking of her husband and mourning, can often go to dreams to comfort lovesickness. Even if you are Wanwan, Wanwan like Qing, temporarily put aside hard thinking, and "except Wushan is not a cloud." Xuan Ling's handwriting has always been very familiar. At the end of the writing, the writing power gradually became weak and intermittent, with tears staining on it, turning the ink into small balls like blooming black plums.It can be seen how sad he was when he wrote the pen. Except Wushan is not cloudy, it is good to say that Wushan is not cloudy.It turned out to be her, it was her, all my special favors and loves, it turned out that it was all for her, for a "smiling lady".Haunted by the soul, dreamed by the soul, the voices in Xuanling's dream are all called out by her -- Zhu Rouze, the empress of Chunyuan who passed away. So what am I? ! Unable to loosen his hands, Xue Taojian flew out as lightly as if there was nothing, and landed on the gold-woven carpet without a sound.It was as if all the strength in his body had been drained away, and he sat down limply.Outside the window, autumn insects were buzzing endlessly, and a tree of red maple trees was hiding in front of the window. The scarlet color pierced my eyes as if they were about to go blind. The turbulence in my chest was unspeakable, and the pain in my stomach became more and more painful because of this turbulence, as if my child also understood my grievance as a mother and was not fair for me. Full of pity, Xuan Ling picked up Xue Tao's paper on the ground, his eyes suddenly calmed down, calm and gentle like a pool of autumn water, clear and emotional.Those gazes didn't fall on me at all, they only focused on the distant thoughts, as if immersed in the long-lasting beauty, and said in the mouth: "You know?" I am speechless, what else can I say. Xuan Ling half sighed: "In fact, it is your blessing to be able to look like Wan Wan." I almost sneered, didn't I?Is it my blessing or my sin!I just feel that on the side with him, the heart is completely cold and silent, and all the feelings are cut off.He was so strange, so alienating.It is not only Xuan Ling who is wrong, I am even more wrong. All these years of time and love have been given to this person in front of me by mistake. The door creaked open, and a petite figure flashed in. Seeing me, he hurriedly stepped back.I almost don't remember, this study, apart from me, Mausoleum can also enter and exit. Her face is delicate and youthful, rosy like a light glow, instantly contrasting my sadness and haggardness, it is even more unbearable to look at.Xuan Ling called her to stop, and said, "What's the matter?" She glanced at me delicately, hesitated to speak, Xuan Ling couldn't bear such an air the most, urged her twice, she said timidly: "Just now the imperial doctor came back and said that Mrs. Zhen and the young master are seriously ill with malaria. It's beyond salvation." Before she could finish her words, her face was already wet with tears, which made her feel pitiful. Ling Rong said that he was going to come to help me, and he said with great concern, "Sister, who has a body, don't be sad." I know that love is not that simple, and I can see her beautiful hibiscus face distorted in my tearful eyes, which is just scary.Taking advantage of the moment she got close to me, she quietly smiled in my ear and said, "It can't be saved!" I was so angry that I almost vomited blood, and just about to wave her hand away, the pain in my stomach was so painful that it seemed to burst open.The autumn is as cold as frost, the dew is white tonight, the moonlight is pale like a grimace, my head flutters down, my hand hangs down weakly, and at the last glance, I only see the corner of my scarlet skirt, winding like a river. The pain was so painful that I almost couldn't breathe, as if a knife was twisting, and the bitter thread stabbed in my intestines.It hurts so much, my body is all wet, it seems that there are countless torrents rushing in my body, joints are cracked joint by joint, who is crying, so painful, disturbing my heart, every inch of skin is like It's like it's about to be torn apart, I can almost hear the sound of "creaking" and breaking, something sprouts in my body and wants to break through. I was in a daze, and the voices of countless people urged me—"Hard force! Hard!" The apricot blossoms all over the sky, the petals as thin as silk fell on me little by little, and I had the determination to get involved in the harem battle for him. On the first night of Yiyuan Hall, he hugged my body tightly and said earnestly: "I regard your heart as a precious treasure, and I will never fail you." The Jinghong Dance is flying, it was his heart that was shocked, or my intention, my mother said, Jinghong Dance is to be danced for the man I love. In the Yifu Pavilion in summer, he painted Yuan Shandai for me, his expression fascinated: "What I value is your love." He and I cut out a pair of bright candlelights under the west window in the middle of the night, and wrote poems with me as an ordinary husband and wife. The spring is as deep as the sea, and the pear blossoms are like snow. He made "pear makeup" for me, and he laughed loudly: "Huanhuan, Huanhuan! You have our child, do you know how happy I am!" His face was full of spring smiles, and he looked more and more dignified. He pointed to the twined begonias on my bun, and said: "Huanhuan and I were young and happy, so the flowers grow together like this." He just said in a solemn tone, "Even if there are thousands of beauties, there is only one Huanhuan in Shiro's heart, and no one can replace it." He kissed my earlobe and said in a low voice: "I won't let you shed so many tears again." The dust of the past, like a dream, passed through my mind like flowing water, and finally turned into a field of frost and snow, leaving only a vast expanse of whiteness and cleanliness. I struggled and exhausted all my strength. There seemed to be great joy all around me, the loud cries and joyous laughter of babies.I fell into a dark dream exhaustedly, unable to open my eyes. It was a lengthy dream, in which endless past events came one after another, trivial but clear.The dream was so long, with so many things, four years in the palace seemed to be as long as a lifetime. When I opened my eyes, it was already bright daylight, and Jinxi greeted me with joy and sorrow, and said earnestly: "Congratulations, Empress Xi, you have given birth to an Emperor Concubine." It's beautiful." I'm still a little confused, Diji? Huanbi said at the side: "Miss, you scared the slaves to death, you have been asleep all day and all night." I subconsciously went to touch my belly, my belly was flat, I was so scared that I jumped up, my baby was gone!Once, when I woke up like this, my child was no longer alive! I was about to cry, but Jinxi hurriedly carried the child to me, and said, "Mother, don't worry, Diji is here." Here, my hanging heart suddenly let go, and I hugged the child tightly in my arms. She is so small, the skin on her face is wrinkled and red, like a small soft animal, her eyes are slightly opened , It's really like me.She is so light and so warm.I wept with joy.My daughter, this is my daughter. Huanbi pointed to the nurse and said, "This is Emperor Ji's nurse Jin Niang." It was a healthy and upright woman, with fair skin, a strong body, and a soft and simple temperament in her speech. Jinxi said: "Emperor Ji was born prematurely, less than a month old. The imperial doctor came to see her and said she needs to take good care of her." After all, I was weak after giving birth, and it was a little hard to hold for a while, but I still couldn't bear to let go.Jinxi whispered in my ear: "The emperor is here to see the empress." I said rightly: "Say I'm not feeling well, so I'm gone." Looking up, I saw Xuan Ling stepping into the hall. I look away and just ignore it.I don't want to see this person again. He glanced at me and said, "Still angry? You still can't figure it out?" I was dumbfounded, and could only say: "What does the emperor want his concubines to understand?" He was quite emotional, "You have already given birth to Di Ji for me, and you still want to be so angry? I have already decided that no matter what the Zhen family is, I will not take my anger on you. As long as you are willing, I can give birth tomorrow." I want to honor you as Zhaoyi." I turned my head, "The concubine has lost her virtue and dare not take the position of Zhaoyi." He approached me and persuaded softly: "Huanhuan, if you are willing, you will still be my favorite concubine, and I will treat you the same as before." I sneered, the laughter was uncontrollable, and I paused for a moment: "Does the emperor think it's okay?" His expression turned cold in an instant, and he said: "Yes, it is true that I pity you too much. Your kind of heart is really not suitable for staying in the palace for a long time." In the palace, I'm already tired of it.hate it?love?It doesn't matter anymore.The Queen and Ling Rong, Concubine Hua and Yu Shi, I hate so many people, can I kill them?How much I have killed, how much more I will kill, there is no end.So much blood and killing, no warmth, no sincerity.Families are gone, people are dead, and I am tired to the end.Why am I willing to stay any longer, it is better to go back, it is better to go back. He said to himself: "I'm here to tell you that your father, brother, mother and sister have all set off today." I was just in a daze, and a sad smile floated on my cheeks, "Thank you, Your Majesty." He shook his head, a little disgusted: "You look like this - go to the Buddhist hall to calm down, you don't need to live here anymore." That's right, I can't live here anymore. With a mother and concubine like me who doesn't come into her father's eyes, and a dilapidated family like me, my daughter will only be tortured because of me. And the Buddhist hall...how far away from my daughter. My daughter is still in her infancy, and the world is just ignorant to her.She hasn't experienced all the ups and downs of the harem, and I can't let her experience it.As for my mother, I will leave this harem that has exhausted my great efforts and emotions. I can no longer guarantee her future.And the only thing I can do is to arrange her future as best as I can. The great pain and humiliation in his heart seemed to be scraping sharply with a knife, biting his lower lip tightly, his heart was almost bleeding.So, I raised my head and said quietly: "This child hasn't been named yet, and the concubine is about to leave, so I will allow the concubine to marry the child's name. Please grant it to the emperor." His eyes were so calm that there was almost no emotion. After a long time, he said, "Okay." All the bitterness burst into her throat in an instant, and she desperately forced the tears back into her eyes, and said word by word: "It's called Wanwan." He opened his eyes, and there was a huge and indescribable shock, heartache and enthusiasm in his eyes. The scorching heat seemed to ignite the moonlight all over the ground, and his voice was slightly hoarse: "Wan Wan?!" Frustrated heartache mixed with a sneer between his lips and teeth almost escaped, in his heart, as expected, forever, there is only one Wan Wan!After all, I still restrain myself. Everything I say and do at this time is related to the future and safety of the child in my arms.For her, I have to be patient. There is a Tang Pozi in the quilt, but it seems that there is no temperature at all. It is so cold and damp that I can squeeze out water. My feet are numb, but the thinking in my head is still sharp.The sad smile was no longer under my control, spreading to the upper corner of my lips: "How dare the concubine let Di Ji continue to use the small characters of the former empress, which is so disrespectful." Perhaps in my heart, I really don't want my daughter to use the same words as her. So slowly said: "Long hair Wan Junxin, what the concubine can't do, I hope Diji can do it. Don't let everything happen to her as a useless mother. The concubine is still alive. I will also pray for her day and night beside the ancient blue lantern Buddha." He was silent for a moment, his face softened a little, and he said: "Actually, you don't have to go out of the palace to practice, but in the Taimiao in the palace..." The Taimiao in the palace?I categorically refused: "The concubine's body is ominous, I really dare not disturb the safety of the palace, in order to hope for auspiciousness." His face was a little embarrassed, and he no longer had any objections, "You can go early, but you can't stay in the palace." He hugged his daughter from the nurse's hand, hugged her tightly in his arms with loving eyes, and smiled like a very loving father, without even looking at me, he only teased her softly calling: "Wanwan—Wanwan—— "I don't know if he thought of Empress Chunyuan when he called like this, but he really loves his daughter very much.With this similar name, my daughter can be loved by his father very much. She is not a man, so naturally she will not be involved in the battle for the crown prince. This kind of love is enough to prevent her from being despised.It's just that my daughter's future depends on the Empress Chunyuan who looks similar to me. I just feel sad, and the sadness is even more desolate. I gathered my clothes, knelt down solemnly, kowtowed and said: "I still have something to ask." His eyes fixed on my face, and he said softly, "Say it." The tears in the eyes are full of concealment, child, mother is leaving, mother will definitely arrange the way out for you, but what happens in the future depends on you after all, there is nothing mother can do.I said: "Concubine Jing has been in the palace for a long time, has no children under her knees, and has always had a loving mother's heart. The concubine hopes that after leaving the palace, Concubine Jing can raise the Emperor Concubine, so as to comfort everything." He thought for a moment, and said: "Both the queen and the concubine Duan have something to support, and the concubine Jing can still be entrusted to them." I kowtowed deeply again and said: "In this way, my concubine will have no regrets." I didn't talk to him anymore. Over the years, I didn't really know him, and he didn't really know me either.I am calculating to him after all.Just like him, he also calculated me. How did he and I come to where we are today? The silence in the sleeping hall is too high, and occasionally a jackdaw that sleeps overnight will cry desolately, perched on a broken branch, and the dead leaves will rustle when the wind blows.The moonlight poured through the window lattice and fell on the ground, forming a faint yellow shadow. I reached out and hugged my daughter, pressing her face tightly against mine.She didn't know anything, she just squinted her eyes and her face was flushed.A drop of my tear fell, and she smacked her lips unconsciously, wondering if she could lick a little sweetness from this bitter tear. Xuan Ling's expression was a little bewildered and bleak, looking at the shadows of the moon all over the ground, he said: "The moon is dim, so let's give Wanwan the title 'Obscure Moon'." Obscure Moon is a good title.Ordinary emperor concubines are given titles on the day of the full moon, but they are words such as virtuous and virtuous.Obscure Moon received this honor as soon as she was born, which shows that Xuan Ling cherishes her and comforts Concubine Jing.I have nothing to worry about, be quiet and thank you. 他也觉得无趣，有些落寞，他的目光有些柔和有些森冷，似不定的流光，那么些年的时光和残存的情感，最后凝成一句：“嬛嬛，你还有什么话对朕说？” 还有什么话，我和玄凌之间，真的是已经无话了。然而皇帝的问话，我不可以不答。良久，我轻声而坚决道：吟完，三拜而止，再无别话。 他的声音有些酸涩，“好！好！既然如此，朕亦无话可说了。你去意已决，胧月，朕自会与敬妃好好抚养。”言毕，拂袖冉冉离去。我冷眼瞧着他，再无一滴泪落下。 三日后，我被废去所有封号和位份，逐出棠梨宫，退居京郊的甘露寺带发修行。槿汐和浣碧执意与我随行，留下了其他人照顾胧月。 敬妃把胧月抱到手中那一刻，感动得流泪，她执了我的手道：“我一定视帝姬如己出。” 我轻声而诚恳：“这就是姐姐的孩子，何来视如己出这一说。我亦相信姐姐会照顾好自己的孩子。” 她点头，“我知道，孩子给谁养育都可以，是你体谅我没有孩子可以依靠。” 我低首，“也请姐姐顾念往日情谊，为我照顾沈婕妤。”我亲一亲胧月啼哭的脸，心中痛楚欲裂，转首离去。 我默然沉思，随身携带的不过是一些最必要的东西，一应衣物首饰，皆留在了棠梨宫。临行前一夜，浣碧犹豫着问我，是否要将昔年玄凌所赠的玉鞋带走，毕竟于我，那是最珍贵的器物。 我只淡淡一笑，取出了一把“长相思”，把一切玄凌赏赐的器物，皆锁在了大箱子中，皆是过去的东西，又何必再要留。惟有“长相思”，才是解语的知音呵。 帘外细雨绵绵，宫车自永巷碌碌而过，经过云意殿，不过四年前，我便是从这里，踏进了后宫。我兀自笑了，当时那样年轻，那样心高不知收敛，虽然无意于入选，可是一时无意在玄凌面前脱口诗词，才有了后来那么多纷争和风波。若有可以后悔的时候，我必然最后悔那一日。 轻朦的细雨如冰凉的泪。云意殿外站满了花枝招展的女子，绚烂了整个宫廷萧萧的雨季。我微微疑惑，槿汐已轻声在我身边道：“今日是选秀的日子。” 又是选秀了，去年延迟的，今日终于到了。 殿外的少女们青春少艾，都有明丽的笑容，渴望而高傲的眼神，仿佛一朵朵娇嫩的花朵，等待着君王的采撷。若她们知道了我的故事，是否会因此而退却。 不，她们是不会退却的。因为和我一同入宫的陵容，已经成为其中的胜利者。后宫，就是这样一个让人发疯的地方，只要有一个人成功，只要有片刻的成功，就会有无数的人甘愿成为手染血腥的人，去争去斗，去杀戮算计。 不过，那已经是她们的故事了。 宫门巍峨高耸，远远望去，两个熟悉的身影撞入我的眼帘。白蒙蒙雨雾中，眉庄依依而立，温实初伴在她身边，手持油伞为她撑出一片无雨。 马蹄行得缓一些，嗒嗒似敲在心上，她的热泪在眼眶中转动，我伸手探出与她紧紧相握，温实初见机塞了一袋银子给侍卫，请他退开几步。 眉庄将欲落的泪轻轻拭去，含悲而笑：“去了也好，总算离了这里得个解脱了。” 我鼻中酸涩难言，轻轻侧首：“姐姐善自保重，我怕是无幸再得与姐姐亲近了。” 她拍着我的肩，“你一人去了，我又有什么大意思呢，只盼和你一同罢了。” 我悲伤，“姐姐何出此言？”我见周遭再无外人，悄声道：“姐姐在宫中一日，千万要留意安陵容与皇后，也要小心祺嫔，勿要为我使意气，安心保重自己要紧。”我恳然望着温实初：“温大人，姐姐孤身一人，我把她托付于你，万望顾全，不要落于他人陷阱。” 温实初道：“娘娘……” 我微笑拦下，“我已不是娘娘了。” 他赧然，“嬛妹妹……”这称呼太久远前他唤过的，他叫的生疏，我亦觉得唐突，眉庄的脸色变了变，只望住他不说话。温实初浑然不觉，“你也保重，我一得机会，便去看望你。” 我摇头：“一入甘露寺，大人就是红尘之内的人了，你我隔了尘世，不便再来相见。大人若有心，就请为我看顾帝姬，照应姐姐，也是我如今唯一心愿。” 他眼中的悲痛之色愈浓，身后槿汐牵一牵我，轻声道：“不便多说了。” 我缓缓点头，狠一狠心，令车夫逐尘而去。 身后，眉庄与温实初依然遥立雨中，目送我离开。这是四年后宫留给我最后的温情映像。 宫门已出，熟悉的红墙已在身后。此生，我终于走出了繁华鬼魅的后宫。 我垂下马车上的布帘，轻轻而悲哀的笑了。 （第三卷完） -------------------------------------------------- --- Notes: