Chapter 121 Chapter 120

Shi and Huang thought that communism had been realized, and they began to plan for divorce and remarriage. Unexpectedly, extreme joy gave rise to sorrow, and the two babies who seemed to have "stand on their own" suddenly made a comeback, hitting them with a "failure". First, Xiaofu called Huang Hai, saying that she "can't take it anymore", and asked him to pick her up.Gao Ming also called Huang Hai, saying that he "can't stand it anymore" and wanted to send Xiao Fu back to Huang Hai.Shi and Huang acted as "marriage and love counseling experts" on the phone for a period of time, persuading east and west, south and north, hitting and touching a few times, using both Eastern and Western theories, but finally returned to heaven Powerless, Gao Ming drove Xiaofu back, and following the principle of "communities come and go, teams come and teams go", he kept sending Xiaofu back to the place where he "collected goods" before: Shi Yan's home.

Shi Yan didn't bother to complain anymore, it was useless, maybe she was born to serve someone, in China she served Excellence, after she came out, she first served Xiaofu, then Zhuozhuo, now she has just served Excellence to become self-reliant, Xiaofu back again.Her requirements are very low now, as long as the people being served don't make trouble or find fault with her, she will admit it. Anyway, the food in the United States is not expensive, and she can handle one more person. Shi Yan was a little worried that Xiaofu would collapse. The person who loved him for so many years turned out to be so dissatisfied to Xiaofu. Doesn't that mean taking away Xiaofu's spiritual support for these years?If Xiaofu breaks down mentally and becomes crazy, then her life will be very difficult.

Fortunately, Xiao Fu seems to have cultivated an indestructible body, and still lives in her own world, peaceful and happy, as before.The time spent with Gao Ming in the United States seems to have left no traces on Xiao Fu's fairy tale world. When talking about it with Shi Yan, Xiao Fu talked about Gao Ming before going abroad, and used all praise words, Occasionally speaking of these days in the United States, Xiaofu always calls him FRANK, using derogatory terms.The cleverness in Xiaofu's mind is infinitely better than Frank's. In short, even Frank is not worthy to lift Gao Ming's shoes.

Now Shi Yan is sitting in the manor, Huang Hai drove over to meet the leader, they lived in the living room, and Xiao Fu lived in the bedroom, so they lived in peace. But not long after such days, Zhuo Liang came to the door with a dejected expression, saying that he had a brain tumor.He said that he actually had symptoms before moving out from her, but he didn't know it.At that time, his breasts suddenly swelled, his nipples were itchy, and sometimes there was discharge. He only said that he had rejuvenated, entered the second puberty, and started to develop again. He was secretly happy, but he didn't know that it was something growing in his brain sign.Later, he often felt headaches and brain swelling, thinking that he was overworked, so he didn't pay much attention to it.But recently, he had a headache so bad that he wanted to kill someone, so he went to see a doctor, only to find out that he had a tumor in his brain.

She couldn't believe it no matter what, this was too much like the plot in a third-rate novel, but he had the test results, he was definitely not lying, and his person did not look right, as if he was swollen and fat, he said it was tumor oppression Somewhere in my mind.He was sitting on the sofa, Jing'er was leaning against him, the big one and the young Joyoung were looking at her so sadly, that scene was unforgettable for her forever.She didn't know if Jing'er understood what a brain tumor was, but Jing'er seemed to be able to sense his father's emotions innately. When his father was happy, he was also happy, and when his father was worried, he was also worried. I don't know if it's imitation or genetic.

Jinger seems to be very sensitive since she was a child, she especially values ​​family affection, and always wants to bind everyone together. Once there is such a person who is not together, Jinger will worry for no reason, thinking that he has offended the one who left. people.After Zhuoyue came to the United States from China, Huang Hai didn't show up very often, and Jinger panicked, always asking why DADDY didn't come?Is it because DADDY doesn't like Jing'er anymore?She couldn't explain clearly to the child, so she took Jing'er to see Huang Hai.Later, Zhuoyue got a scholarship and moved out. Jing Er asked why PAPA didn't come anymore. Did PAPA not like Jing Er anymore?She had no choice but to ask Zhuoyue to visit Jinger every week.

The days when both PAPA and DADDY were there were Jinger's happiest days, and she might have boasted about it among the children, and it was probably passed on by the children to their parents.So a classmate named MIKE told Jinger that there are children with two fathers, and the mother must be a whore.Jing'er came back and asked her if it was "WHORE". She asked the reason, got dizzy, and went to the child's house to complain, but was scolded by the child's parents. Seeing her being wronged and crying, Jinger comforted her and said: "Mommy, Jack said it is OK to have two fathers, a daddy and a papa. I have two fathers because I'm a better boy than others, right? "

She knew that JACK was a friend that Jinger made up for herself. When no one was playing with him, he played with JACK. He divided the toys into two parts, one for JACK and one for himself. Sometimes they played separately. Everyone, sometimes play together, sometimes take turns to play.She knows that most children nowadays are lonely, so she tries to play with them as much as possible.But in a child's world, it is not enough to have adults alone, and children are needed.She has always wanted to give Jing'er a younger brother or younger sister so that he can have a companion, but she is very busy studying, the divorce has not been settled, and this and that are crowded with her, so there has never been a chance to have a baby. .

Now that Jing'er is looking at her so sadly, it makes her heartbroken more than his father looking at her like this, as if begging her to save PAPA.Holding back her tears, she comforted Jinger and said, "PAPA is fine, he just needs to rest, Mom will take care of PAPA—" Zhuoyou still insisted on attending classes for a few days, but it seemed that he was really like what others said, he was afraid of finding out about tumors.When you don't find it, you can still hold on, but once you find it, you will collapse immediately.Excellence also responded to this sentence, and collapsed as soon as it was checked out.After Shi Yan discussed with Huang Hai, Huang Hai rented a one-bedroom, one-living room house, took Xiaofu over, and asked Zhuoyue to move back to Shi Yan's house for easy care.

After an operation, things got better.But the doctor also made it very clear that the possibility of recurrence is very high. Once the disease spreads, there is no cure, and chemotherapy must be continued. After being discharged from the hospital, Zhuo Zhuo discussed with her: "I want to bring my mother to the United States to play once in my lifetime, so that one of her wishes can be fulfilled, and one of my wishes can also be fulfilled—" She reassured him, "Don't think it's so terrible, you're doing well—" "But I know this 'nice' is only temporary. Even if I don't die immediately, I will look more and more ugly, I will get fatter, and my hair will fall more and more. At that time, I will not be able to pick her up to play Yan'er, please, let my mother come here to see me—we are a family of three, she is relieved when she sees that the three of us live happily together. After I die, please don't put me Tell her about his death, and let her enjoy her old age under the care of my sister. Don't worry, I only let her stay here for a month, so please fulfill my request—"

She couldn't think of any reason to refuse his request, so she agreed with tears. He said gratefully, "Yan'er, thank you! Thank you!", which made her burst into tears. Of course, Huang Hai fully supported her and told her to take care of Teacher Zhuo, Aunt Qiao, and Jing'er wholeheartedly. He would wait for her there with peace of mind. Aunt Qiao came to the United States with a student who returned to China to visit relatives. It seems that she is recovering well. Except for a crooked mouth and a weak left leg and left hand, she is pretty good in other aspects. After Aunt Qiao came, she must take Jing'er to sleep, saying that the child is so old and understands everything, so it's not good to sleep with his parents.Jing'er is also very well-behaved, he has hardly met his grandma, but he is also very close to grandma, grandma asked him if he would like to sleep with grandma, he asked what "yes" means, and immediately said: "yes." Shi Yan couldn't object, so she decided to pretend that she had to act like one, so she went to bed with Zhuoyou in the bedroom. On the first night, the two of them did not interfere with each other, but they didn't fall asleep much.On the second night, Zhuo Liang reached out to hug her, but she avoided it.On the third night, Zhuo Liang came to hug her again, and told her, "I've taken so many medicines and injections, I can't—that, I just want to sleep with you again in my lifetime." Sleep--" She didn't shirk anymore.He hugged her very well, just hugged, told her his life and feelings over the years, how sad he felt every time he saw her go out to meet the Yellow Sea, how many nights he stood in her bedroom Wept outside the door, and then went back to his bed, recalling their past, dealing with himself, telling how he missed her when he was in prison, how he called her in his heart when he fell in front of the M County Public Security Bureau name.He talked and cried all the way, and she listened and cried all the way. Finally he asked: "Yan'er, why don't you love me? What is wrong with me?" She refused to tell, but he insisted that she tell, otherwise he would die without peace of mind.She had no choice but to talk about her feelings at that time. He held her in tears and asked her: "Why didn't you tell me earlier? Why didn't you tell me earlier? You told me, I can correct it! I do I have done so many things you don't like, isn't it all to keep you? I just don't know how you want me to love you, but I am willing to love you like you like! Those you like , is not difficult, I can do it, why didn't you tell me how you like me and how I love you?" She originally wanted to say, "I told you, so you know what kind of love I like, so what's the point?", she also wanted to say, "You haven't changed it until now, and you still don't admit your mistakes. Blame everything on others. ", but she didn't say anything, maybe he is a perfectionist and can't tolerate his own mistakes, so he must shift the responsibility to others, otherwise his conscience will be disturbed, why should she pester who at this moment responsibility? "It was my fault, I wish I had told you then," she admitted. He was very relieved: "It's not too late to tell me now, I still have time to learn to love you in the way you like in my lifetime." They slept like this for a few nights, and one night, he offered to serve her with his hands: "I'm a useless person now, and I can't love you like a normal man, but I still have hands that can make you feel comfortable." -" She resolutely refused, and he didn't insist anymore, still sleeping with her in his arms, and every morning he would wake up and say: "I have one less day in this world—but I have another night of happiness—" She had heard that "a man is dying, his words are good", but she felt that his situation seemed to be "a man is dying, his words are poetry", and she didn't know that he purposely made his words so romantic and poetic to move him Her, or people will burst into poetry when they feel that life is not long. In short, many of his words can make her tears well up.Sometimes when she saw him trying to pretend to be happy and healthy in front of his mother, tears welled up in her eyes, and she had to hide in the kitchen or the bathroom to cry for a while. When the month was approaching, she offered to let Aunt Qiao play for a while, so that the ticket could be extended.He was overjoyed: "Are you—are you afraid—he's in a hurry?" She knew who "he" was, and she missed "him" very much, but she couldn't bear to let Aunt Qiao go now, because if Aunt Qiao left, she might never see her son again.Think about her Jing'er, if one day, she will never see Jing'er, what kind of disaster it will be! She said: "It's rare for the old man to come here. During your time - the situation is very good, she If she won’t see the flaws, let her—play for a few more days—” During that time, in order not to let his mother see the flaws, he didn't even take the medicine, because taking the medicine would have side effects such as nausea and vomiting, and his mother would see the problem.She advised him not to do this, so as not to aggravate his condition, but he insisted: "No matter how much I insist on taking medicine, I will not live a few more days. Let my mother live a few more days." One night, when they were sleeping with each other like that again, he grabbed her hand, put it on his part, and said pleasantly: "Yan'er, it woke up! You woke it up! It knows I want to Love you the way you like once in your lifetime, and let you know that I can love like you like—" She couldn't refuse, so he granted his wish.He loved her in the way she liked, but he was so tired and sweaty and out of breath just after doing it for a while, she had to throw bricks to attract jade. She couldn't fall asleep that night, feeling guilty like Xianglin's wife.Thinking that Mrs. Xianglin only married twice before and after, or married the other after one husband died, and she still felt guilty like that.As for her, if one husband is still alive, there will be another husband; if the other husband is still alive, there will be another husband.If there is a sawing in hell, she may be the first to be sawn.She is not afraid of being punished in hell, who knows if there is hell?Even if there is hell, she doesn't necessarily know the pain, but she is afraid of the feeling of having a guilty conscience, ashamed of Huang Hai, and ashamed of Excellence, feeling that she is being sawed every moment. The next day, she emailed Huang Hai, telling what happened last night, and then said that she could no longer be with him, and hoped that he and Xiaofu could become a real couple. He called her, answered emails, asked her to meet at that MOTEL, and said he wanted to have a good talk with her.She didn't agree, knowing that once she went there and met his people, she would be unable to restrain her desire to burn in his embrace, and the situation would be even more difficult to deal with.Later, she didn't even dare to answer the phone, because his voice came from the phone, as if trying to seduce her soul.He called many times and she didn't answer, so he had to write her an e-mail: "Yan'er, don't torture yourself with guilt. This is America in the twentieth century, not the China of Mrs. Xianglin's time. Mrs. Xianglin married twice, both to survive, to survive, she is not at fault, You shouldn't have to suffer that kind of mental torture. You love two people, but not for your own survival, but for the survival of others, and you shouldn't have to suffer that kind of mental torture. I will never forget that Spring Festival in 1989. I was sitting alone at the train station in D City. I lost all hope and almost no longer had the courage to live, because I didn’t know what was the use of living in this world. Disgusted by adults and feared by children, all I bring to the world is ugliness and pain.Don't be afraid of your jokes, I thought of ending my life at that time, wanting to lie on the railroad tracks and let the whizzing train take away all my troubles.I didn't do that right away because I didn't want to burden you with thinking that my death had something to do with you. You appeared in front of me like an angel, you convinced me, let me believe that there is still meaning for me to live in this world, because I can make you happy.Now you're shining another person's life with your love, and you have no reason to be ashamed or guilty about it. You don't belong to hell, you belong to heaven. If Mr. Zhuo and I are lucky enough to go there, we won't ask God to saw you in half and share it with us. We will say to God: 'Please follow her example and do more Many such lovely women make more men in the world as happy as us. '"