Chapter 38 Section 38

When having dinner the next day, Carol couldn't help but mention Jason again. She said, "You all know that Jason is single? Why didn't I know?" Feng Chao swallowed the food in his mouth, and said slowly: "You don't know, you can ask. If you don't want to be ashamed to ask, you can ask without shame. Just ask Jason himself? The problem can be solved in one sentence, It’s not a giant project, but it took more than half a year to get it done?” Feng Chao's words reminded her, she remembered that she actually asked Jason, the day he came back from the dance in his car, but he said that SARA was his daughter, not only that, he also told her that there were three of them at Christmas Drive back to Canada.When his mother called and scolded him, telling him to be a good husband and father, he didn't state that he was actually single.He seemed to be trying to make her think he had a family.Even Jingqiu seems to have been bribed, also PLAYALONG, did not expose his lies.If SARA hadn't come to her house to fundraise, I really don't know how long he was going to hide it from her.

She was puzzled, why did he give me such a wrong impression?It may not have been intentional to bring SARA to buy groceries at the beginning, but later it was intentional to say that SARA is his daughter.Is it because his mother called him that?He is afraid that he will hold me back and make me unwilling to transfer?When she thought of this, she felt that her heart suddenly became clear, and this must be the reason.My mother must have said on the phone how important it was for me to go to D major, so he decided to help me. When I mistakenly thought that SARA was his daughter, he smoothly admitted that SARA was his daughter.

The thought of it made her love him even more.How much he thinks of me!I would rather lie and take my future into consideration. Lying will be struck by lightning. Jason, you big fool, aren't D big and C big the same?Where are you, where is my heaven.Even if you trick me into changing schools, once I know that you are single, I will still run back. The happy mood didn't last long, and she began to feel uncomfortable again.She thought that if Jason was singled out, everything would be a matter of course, but she found that things were far from that simple. Jason was still out of reach and she didn't know how to get close to him.She doesn't care who is chasing who, if she knows what he's thinking, it's okay for her to go after him.But she had no idea whether he liked him or not.He never took a chance to get close to her, and his expression couldn't tell if he treated her differently.If it was said that last semester was for her to transfer to D University, and now she can't transfer, and he still didn't come to approach her, wouldn't that mean he didn't mean that?

She thought it was mainly because they didn't have much contact with each other. Although he had taken his class for a semester, it was all a teacher-student relationship. One was speaking at the top and the other was listening at the bottom. He couldn't get to know her deeply.Only when the two of them are in frequent contact can they have a chance to let him know her. How can I get in touch with him more?Out of nowhere, she thought of Jason's neighbor SALLY.During the party at Qian Bo's place that day, she asked SALLY to keep the house for her. Later, because she thought Jason had a family, she was not interested in moving to SALLY's place. In the end, she didn't even notify him. , I don’t know if SALLY has rented out the room.

She thought, after so long, SALLY must have rented out the room, and SALLY must have waited for her for a while, but she didn't reply, SALLY must have blamed her in her heart.She knew it was her fault because she had just arrived and her phone number hadn't been listed in the school's phone book. Even Qian Bo didn't know her phone number at that time, so SALLY definitely couldn't find her.But she should contact SALLY, she can easily find SALLY's phone number from the school phone book. This matter was really a mistake. If I had called SALLY at that time, I might have known that Jason was single. Because SALLY is his neighbor and a fellow villager, of course he knew whether he was married or not.If I had called at that time, I would have moved there a long time ago, and I would be separated from Jason by a wall, maybe even the sound of him walking there could be heard, and there would be many reasons to approach him, such as going to his place Borrowing oil and salt and returning a broom, isn't it all a reason?

She easily found SALLY's phone number in the school phone book, but she was a little hesitant, wondering why SALLY asked her why there was no news at that time, so how would she answer?After thinking about it for a long time, she decided to tell a lie, saying that it was because she didn't know the phone number, because she couldn't tell the real reason. SALLY didn't seem to be unhappy when she heard that it was her.The two chatted casually for a while, and CAROL tentatively asked, "Is your small room rented out?" SALLY over there seemed embarrassed and said: "I'm really sorry, I waited for you for a while, and I rented the room to someone else when you didn't mention it again. My main reason is—"

CAROL interrupted her and said sincerely: "I don't blame you, I blame myself for not contacting you in time. Thank you." She hung up the phone, feeling very lost, as if someone had kidnapped Jason. She also found SALLY's address from the phone book, and she wrote it down. It was Building R 205. She curiously checked Jason's phone number and address, but she couldn't find it.But SALLY's address is enough, she knows where Jason lives. After dinner, like a ghost, she took the book, took the school bus and got off at the MARRIEDHOUSING stop.Then he pretended to be passing by and walked towards Building R. In front of Building R is a large parking lot, where many children play, and Chinese people can be seen coming in and out from time to time.I have long heard people say that MARRIED HOUSING is like a China town, with many Chinese living there. Maybe Americans prefer to live in single dormitories on campus if they are not married.It seems that there are fewer and fewer people from other countries who have children and are still studying.

CAROL thought about it for a while, and didn't want people to see her wandering around Building R, lest someone she knew would ask her what she was doing there.She went around to the back of Building R to scout the terrain first. There is a small lawn behind Building R. The lawn used to be a small forest. There is a railway in the forest. Judging from the appearance of the railway track, it seems that it is still in use.There is a building like a small house on the lawn, but it has no roof, and some wires are pulled. It looks like a place to dry clothes.She thought, didn't it mean that the clothes have to be dried?Later, she thought, maybe this is the back of the building, no one can see it, and it’s okay to dry the clothes.

She didn't know whether Jason lived in 206 or 204, only that he was the neighbor of 205.She took the book and stopped at the clothes drying place. The low red brick wall just blocked her from being seen, but she could see 204, 205 and 206 diagonally opposite.If the residents of Building R looked out of their windows, they would not see her.If Building R was higher, people upstairs might be able to see her, but Building R has only three floors. She sat down on the lawn and spread out the book as if she was reading, but she was actually looking at 204 and 206 to see which one belonged to Jason.She thought that if someone saw her like this now, they would feel strange.As soon as spring came, she was already sitting outdoors reading a book.Fortunately, very few people came to the back of Building R, only a few children occasionally came chasing and running, but left soon.

It seems that now is the time for people in Building R to eat dinner, and there is a smell of cooking from several restaurants, some like Chinese, some like Indian, and some like Korean. There is also a sound in the air. I don't know what it is, but I feel a little noisy. CAROL sat for a while, still didn't know which one belonged to JASON, and was wondering, when she heard a guitar music suddenly, yes, she listened, trying to catch the source of the sound, and finally she concluded that it was from 206. Jason must have lived in 206. She listened, remembering how he picked her up from the airport, the same guitar, but then he was in the same car with her, he was next to her, she could see him, if she was brave enough , she can even touch him.Now she can only hear the sound of the piano, but can't see him.

After listening to it for a while, she felt that the music did not seem to be played from a tape recorder. Sometimes there would be interruptions in the middle, as if a person was playing the piece.She listened, yes, a person was playing this piece, it must be Jason, maybe he played that piece all the way that day, just playing that piece in his mind while driving. She once searched for this piece of music on the Internet, downloaded it to her computer, and often let the music play while doing homework, like background music.That piece of music always brought her back to the day he picked her up.That scene had gone over so many times in her mind that it might never be out of her mind. As the sun set, the sky gradually darkened, and the windows of Building R were lit up. CAROL was sitting on the lawn behind Building R, listening to Jason playing that song. Somewhere far away, there was the sound of a small train passing by, temporarily drowning out the sound of the guitar.But after a while, the little train went further and further away, and the sound of the guitar could be heard again. This has become her daily homework. As long as it doesn't rain, she will take a book and take the school bus to Married Houseing, then quietly walk to the back of Building R, sit down in the place where the clothes are dried, and listen to Jason quietly. bomb.Sometimes he plays other pieces, but a lot of the time it's this one, like it's his favorite, or he's practicing it.Most of the time he played it when everyone was eating, maybe that was a noisy time, and he would not disturb others when he played it. She saw from the Internet that this piece of music is to be played with a method called "rotary fingers". She imagined Jason's long fingers alternately, flexibly plucking a certain string, beautiful and a little sentimental The music wafted out of his window, across the green lawn, through the dim twilight, and into her heart. I don't know why, but at this time, an inexplicable sadness surged in her heart, not for herself, nor for a specific person or specific event, but for life itself.She remembered a poem she had read a long time ago. She couldn't remember the author, title or theme of the poem, only these few lines: "If there is only pain in love, then why love? You ask for his heart because you gave it to him, How stupid would that be..." She thought maybe it should be said that as long as there is pain in love, no matter what kind of pain it is, it is almost impossible to love without suffering.Throughout the ages, how many people should have loved and suffered.How many girls should be like her, hiding outside the house of her sweetheart, listening to his piano, but unable to approach him and tell him the love in her heart.Just like the "daughter of the sea", she can only watch her beloved prince marry another girl with unspeakable love. At this time, she felt like an old traveler, walking slowly among the ruins of the ancient and beautiful Alhambra Palace, recalling the present and the past, full of emotions, the pain of love for thousands of generations, the love of love Regrets, passing by her eyes one by one, Chu Tian's words sounded in her ears: "In life, everyone hopes to have a perfect love and a perfect ending, but love often has flaws. The beauty of love's flaws is an eternal theme in literary works. Most of the poems and novels that sing about love are written about love. The beauty of regret. Write about falling in love with someone, but don’t know whether this person loves you or not, or know that your love has not been rewarded accordingly. If you are in love, write about the pain of waiting before meeting and the pain of lovesickness after breaking up. Love each other but can't be united, separated by life and death by society, there are countless poems and songs lamenting it. The beauty of love's regret: the eternal pain in the heart of the person concerned, the eternal love described by the novelist. " Jason's music, Chutian's words, the breeze in early spring, and the moonlight in the evening constituted a moving picture, conveying a desolate and distant artistic conception, which made her cry.She silently and heartily let the tears flow, for the pain of love, for the beauty of love, for you, for me, for her, for him, for all those who suffer for love... (Note: The "quotations" of Chutian quoted in this article are from Huang Yan, hereby thank you)