Chapter 17 Chapter Seventeen Burning Weak Waiting

After Ji Ting left, Mo Yuhua asked Zhi An to sit down on the only chair in the room, poured her a glass of water, and then sat on the edge of the bed again, burying his head in the book in his hand. After a while, Mo Yuhua heard the extremely beautiful girl asking, "Do you mind if I smoke?" She thought for a while, then said, "You can do whatever you want." The girl started to light the lighter skillfully, and after lighting the cigarette, she took only one puff, then held it loosely in her hand, letting it burn bit by bit. When the first cigarette burned to the end, the girl stood up, Mo Yuhua gave her a slightly surprised look, she smiled, as if thinking of something, sat back and continued to light another cigarette .When the third cigarette was lit, Mo Yuhua sat not far away, and began to look at the girl intentionally or unintentionally. She looked down at her hand, not knowing what she was thinking.Maybe it was because he also began to wait unconsciously with the girl, Mo Yuhua felt that the time for the third cigarette seemed to be much longer than the previous two. Kai burned his hand, and the cigarette butt fell to the ground.

The rain stopped and stopped, and the weather never cleared up. Xu Shuyun and Zhiyi came to Ji Ting's residence before another heavy rain fell.Ji Ting was already waiting downstairs, and carefully led Zhiyi up to his hut. As soon as the mother sat down, the first thing she said was to look at her son distressedly and say, "Look at you, you've lost weight again." "Mom, you said the same thing last time when you went back." Ji Ting smiled and turned to pour water for the two of them. "You sit down, I'll come by myself. Do you have lunch? I bought some fresh cooked vegetables in the small market downstairs, and I'll heat them up for you." Xu Shuyun said, walking into the small kitchen by herself.Ji Ting let her go, in every mother's heart, a son who left home will always need someone to take care of him.In fact, when he was away alone, he always took care of himself very well, and he was very casual in eating. The staff canteen in the hospital can fully satisfy him, but after Zhi An came here, her work and rest are often upside down day and night , Sometimes when he came back late, he would go to the kitchen and serve her a bowl of noodles.His cooking skills are not satisfactory, Zhi An never said anything, as long as the portion is appropriate, he basically finishes it every time.He likes to watch Zhi An eating quietly, just looking at him makes him feel indescribably satisfied.He had to tell his mother about Zhi'an. During the time he was with Zhi'an, he had thought of calling and telling his mother countless times. He found the person he loves the most, and he hopes to be blessed by the person who loves him. and recognition...but what if not?

"Brother Ji Ting, can you come to my side?" Zhi Yi held the water glass he just put in her hand with both hands, and said shyly. Ji Ting walked over, took her cup, put it on the table beside her, and squatted beside her, "Your eyesight is not convenient, why did you come all this way?" "It's been a long time since I saw you, and I want to hear your voice." Zhiyi smiled calmly, her face was slightly rounder than before, and her dark eyes looked calm. "If you want to hear my voice, you can call me," he said. "It's different. I'm here. Although I can't see you, at least I can feel you. Auntie just said that you have lost weight. Is it true?" Her hands groped for his face, he lowered his head, and finally She still avoided it and only held her wrist, "Zhiyi, I have something to tell you..."

Zhiyi smiled and said, "I smell smoke, Ji Ting, do you smoke too?" "Occasionally, but very rarely." He didn't lie to her. When Zhi An smoked a lot, he couldn't persuade her, and sometimes he took her cigarette angrily, took a few puffs, and then pressed it down hard.It's just that he still doesn't like the choking smell, and when she sees him coughing, she often doesn't continue. "Oh..." Zhiyi lowered her eyes, "I never knew you smoked before." "There are many things that I didn't even know myself before, but now I know."

She listened intently to what he said, and there was a bit of sadness in her calm expression that seemed to have been known for a long time, "Are you finally going to tell me about her?" He looked at her with some surprise, thought for a while, and laughed at himself: "Yes, if you can feel the smell of smoke, you can also feel the smell of turpentine." "No, not for that." She shook her head, her long black hair rippling slightly, "I called you yesterday, and I asked Liu Jilin to bring me a few packs of fish food, and by the way, ask him to dial your number for me ...Yes, she didn't make a sound, I didn't hear anything, but I can feel her, maybe you also know that we are not twin sisters, but I have been so close to her since childhood, I can really feel it, it must be her Zhi'an, is she by your side?"

He felt that it would be cruel to say anything to such a girl now, but he nodded, even though she couldn't see it. "yes!" Zhiyi's lips trembled slightly, and she withdrew her hand, "I'm such a selfish person, Zhi'an is my sister, but before that, I actually begged you in my heart not to tell me anything, just Even at that moment just now, I was still hoping that you would say no." Ji Ting felt sad, but he knew he couldn't comfort her, "I'm sorry, Zhiyi." "Sorry for what? I'm sorry that the person you thought of since you were young is actually Zhi'an? No one is sorry for anyone, you treat him like I treat you, and there is nothing we can do." After speaking, her voice slowly lowered Down, resisting the desire to cry.

She was right, there was nothing he could do, even looking at her so sad.Love is always selfish, exclusive, and without choice. "Where is she?" Zhiyi looked up at him, "Is she doing well? I want to see her. It's been three years. I often have a dream. I dream that Zhi'an is like a bird, and I don't know in the heavy rain." Flying to nowhere, I was shaky, I was really scared, I desperately wanted to call her, but when I opened my mouth, no sound came out." Ji Ting is silent, with too many unhappy past events in the middle, he doesn't even know whether Zhi An wants to see Zhi Yi or not.

"Don't forget, she is my own sister after all, Ji Ting, you must let me see her." That's fine, maybe things have to come to an end after all, no matter what Zhi An thinks, if she can't let go of the past, she will never be happy. "Come with me." He pulled Zhiyi to stand up, but saw Xu Shuyun standing at the door of the kitchen holding a bowl and chopsticks, looking at them worriedly, as if she wanted to say something, but she still didn't say anything. From his residence to Mo Yuhua's room, it only takes a few steps down the stairs. Zhiyi's eyesight is not good, so he can't walk too fast, but he can't explain why, his heart is beating wildly involuntarily.

The door of Mo Yuhua's room was open, except for her who was sitting on the bedside reading a book, there was no one there, beside the only chair, there was scattered cigarette ashes, the last half of the cigarette butt, and a faint lingering smoke. Ji Ting let go of Zhiyi's hand, what kind of feeling does this feel?As if in a dream, the scene he feared the most finally appeared, and that feeling turned out to be familiar.I don't know how many days we spent together, he hugged her when he was awake and when he was asleep, and he didn't feel happy for a moment. It's sad to know that he is happy, because the real happiness should be unconscious Yes, only in the corners of the eyes, only on the lips, smiling inadvertently, I think this is very good, and there is no need to fight for that day and night, a lifetime is too long.And his happiness is so clear in his heart, every day is so precious, hold on to this second tightly, just afraid that the next second will be lost, this happiness is also desolate.

"She's gone." Mo Yuhua looked at him and said. "She's gone? Did Zhi'an go? Ji Ting, tell me, let's go find her, and you come with me to get her back." Zhiyi's eyes turned red, she was right in front of her eyes, but she just missed it . Ji Ting was indifferent, he just asked Mo Yuhua, "What did she say?" Mo Yuhua suddenly felt disturbed by his calmness, so she remained silent. "Tell me please, did she say anything?" "She sat here and lit three cigarettes, and when she was about to leave, she asked me a very strange question. She asked, are there any unsinkable islands in the world."

Hearing this, Ji Ting bowed his head for a long time. Zhiyi asked: "Why didn't you go to find her?" Ji Ting smiled at Zhiyi, "She asked if there were unsinkable islands in the world, but she never believed it, so how could there be?" Ji Ting sent his mother and Zhiyi away. Before they left, they all looked at him with worried eyes. He said, "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm really fine." Just like having a dream, no matter how much you lament after waking up, there is no way to continue the beautiful dream or rewrite the nightmare, you can only continue to live in reality as if nothing had happened. Zhiyi called him that night when she got home, "I seem to have made things worse, maybe I shouldn't have gone in the first place." "It's none of your business, don't think too much." He wasn't comforting Zhiyi, he and Zhi'an were like being in a huge colorful bubble, with light and shadows flowing around, so sweet that it was illusory, unable to withstand someone's light poke.Even if Zhiyi didn't show up, his dream would be shattered sooner or later. He spent his whole boyhood hoping for her, waiting for her, looking for her, but she only gave him three cigarettes. A week later, Mo Yuhua ignored the objection of the department director and insisted on asking for leave to go to Shanghai. Before leaving, Ji Ting asked her, "Is it worth it?" Mo Yuhua said: "Maybe it's not worth it, but I haven't considered it." It has been three months since she returned to the hospital from vacation, and the internship has come to an end. The question of who will stay and who will stay has been officially raised on the table. Considering Ji Ting's consistent performance and Mo Yuhua's long vacation during the critical period, everyone has the answer. I know it well.The hospital has formally contacted Ji Ting's alma mater about the signing of the contract. All we need to do is to wait for Ji Ting to go back to school to complete the final thesis defense and graduation procedures before signing the employment agreement.Professor Yuan also talked to Mo Yuhua personally, and Mo Yuhua said that she was convinced about this result. However, when the dust finally settled, most people were quite surprised by Ji Ting's unexpected decision. After he returned to school and completed the formalities, he officially signed a contract with a third-class hospital in the provincial capital of his hometown. . No one understood his decision, even his parents, although they were relieved that he could return to their side, felt regretful after all.Only he himself knows that he was sober and sober when he made this decision. Zhian, I am not you, I have no wings. In the days that followed, Ji Ting lived seriously, appraised professional titles, furthered his studies, read a Ph.D., wrote academic papers, successfully completed several major surgeries, was promoted, and his future was limitless. Ji Peiwen also began to agree with his son's choice.He is a good doctor in the eyes of patients, a good son in the eyes of parents, and a good man in the eyes of female colleagues.Life has always been kind to him, he has nothing but smooth sailing, and sometimes he feels that he should be satisfied, maybe he was really born for this smooth and broad road in front of him-although he never understood that he chose this road The road, or this road chose him. After the age of twenty-eight, the family began to worry about his life-long affairs. In fact, with his conditions, it is quite easy to find a good girl. Ji Peiwen and Xu Shuyun also married late, and they are open-minded about their son's life-long affairs. Some ambiguous and scattered rumors a few years ago made them worry about Ji Ting's love life.At this time, they also vaguely guessed that their son's insistence on going to G city a few years ago and his sudden return were all related to Zhi'an. An was entangled. From childhood to adulthood, it was obvious that Zhiyi had always been closer to him, and he had asked him several times tentatively, but he remained silent, and he never mentioned anything related to her for so many days. , Ji Peiwen and Xu Shuyun were afraid of touching his sore spots, and privately hoped that he would gradually forget, so they avoided talking about that person and about her in front of him, as if nothing had ever existed.Fortunately, Ji Ting was not as depressed by a relationship as they were worried about. He worked hard, respected his parents, and cared for his relatives and friends around him. Deviating from the path he should take because of a ridiculous relationship when he was young. In the third year of working, Ji Ting bought a house near the hospital and planned to move out to live alone, but his parents strongly opposed it. At this time, Xu Shuyun had already retired. Considering that his parents were old and lonely, and he had only one son under his knees , he could only dispel this idea. At that time, the university where their family was located had rebuilt the faculty dormitory, and expert scholars like his father received considerable preferential treatment and moved into the newly built professor building.The Gu family also got a new house, but the distance between the two families is not as close as before.Gu Weizhen and Ji Peiwen still came and went frequently, old friends became more and more valuable as they got older, but Wang Fan came here much less frequently, and the days when the two families used to eat together were gone forever. When Ji Ting is free, he often goes back to the small road near his childhood home for a walk. The Gu family's new house is still nearby, and he often meets Zhiyi. leave.There has never been a suitable partner around Zhiyi. It is not without insinuation from both parents. The two of them have been close since childhood, and now they have a good relationship. Except for the slight regret that Zhiyi can't see it, there is no more suitable partner than them. correct.When asked, Zhiyi's attitude was always one sentence, "Let's go with fate." But she knew Ji Ting's worries well since she was a child, and Gu Weizhen and Wang Fan were also very troubled by this, but Ji Ting was helpless. That aspect has always been silent. His silence made Xu Shuyun and Ji Peiwen hard to speak even if they wanted to match each other. After the parents on both sides made arrangements for the two, Ji Ting was more polite to Zhiyi. It was also polite to meet each other. greetings. Liu Jilin often said to Ji Ting with deep hatred: "Fucking, I finally understand what it means to not know what is good or bad. Why are you so in the midst of blessings and don't know what is good?" Every time Ji Ting would just smile and talk too much, once he also asked Liu Jilin, "You are so looking forward to me being with Zhiyi so much? I don't seem to think you are so selfless and great before, isn't it uncomfortable?" Liu Jilin pulled him to drink, but Ji Ting didn't drink, and just smoked one by one next to him. Even Liu Jilin, an old smoker, said, "Thanks to you being a doctor, if you smoke like this, you won't be afraid of killing you?" Ting didn't answer. When he was a little bit drunk, Liu Jilin patted Ji Ting on the shoulder and sighed, "It's so fucking hard to be a human being. Sometimes I wonder if I should give you two punches to make you look like a man, but After thinking about it, it seems that there is nothing wrong with your kid other than moji, if you don’t love it, you don’t love it, there is a way? But, if you speak plainly in front of me, brother, you will make up your mind Do you want to be a monk for a lifetime and wait for that chick Gu Zhian?" Ji Ting laughed, "I never thought about waiting for anyone." Liu Jilin snorted, "Don't pretend to be in front of me. I've already seen how much you care about her. You are such a good boy, but you actually like her style. But then again, it's no wonder you are so excited, yes The man saw those eyes, those legs..." "Okay, I drank too much." Ji Ting interrupted him lightly. "I understand better than you. Like Gu Zhi'an, whoever falls in love will lose a few years of life." "Don't talk about that." Ji Ting pressed Liu Jilin's hand holding the cup, not letting him continue to drink, he didn't care. At the end, before he was completely drunk, he pointed at Ji Ting and said, "It's really evil, you can afford to wait, she can afford to wait, why should I not wait." Ji Ting sent Liu Jilin back, but he didn't tell him, never wait lightly, waiting is such a luxury.In the movie, just switch the camera, and a few lines of small characters appear on the subtitles——Twenty years later, the beauty and white hair will come to an end, but in real life, in three to five years, there is no need for a second of it to happen Life is a long life. He didn't think about waiting. Gradually, he no longer resists various forms of blind dates arranged by his parents, relatives, friends, and enthusiastic colleagues. There are peers, female civil servants, white-collar workers in foreign companies, lawyers and reporters, who are smart, gentle, or sweet, without exception. Touching, his other half of the soul often floats in mid-air, looks at the other half of himself, smiles, nods, greets, bids farewell, and then asks, "Who are they?" Later, even the hospital where he worked had absurd gossips. Young female doctors and nurses, who were so perfect that Dr. Ji might be gay, otherwise, in his late thirties, a woman who walked a little closer beside him would also be gay. No. When others relayed it to him, he just thought it was funny.He obviously didn't think about waiting for anyone, but there was no suitable one, really, there wasn't one. Sometimes he accidentally passed the small road in the old teaching staff dormitory area, and slowly went around the corner. The small lawn was still the same. Once, there were other children sketching there, and Ji Ting stayed there for a long time. Then go home.That night, Xu Shuyun found that her son had been alone in the study for a long time. When she walked over, she only saw an old book on her bookshelf in front of him. She glanced at it, but it was "Partridge Sky". "...Dreams may not be seen in Danqing... There is no sorrow in the world after a long absence."