Chapter 20 Chapter 3 Sunshine Floods

I often remember that morning and remember every detail clearly.The sun shone down on the earth, and there was joy and sorrow in the air.Li Yi and I were excited, trembling, and at a loss during our initial skin-to-skin contact.Although we did not complete the transition to become real men and women that day, the time in the morning exuded a lasting charm, like the clear sob of a hole flute, and the lingering sound curled up.That day, I ended our endless search with a sudden cry, and I don't know why I suddenly burst into tears. Li Yi couldn't hide his panic, and asked me timidly: "Do you regret it?"

I shook my head, trying to stop the tears that were gushing like a spring, but I couldn't. After that epoch-making morning, Li and I did not see each other for a few days.I know we all need time to get used to this sudden intimacy. In school, it was inevitable to meet Wang Jun. We avoided each other and turned a blind eye like strangers.I hope in my heart that we can forgive each other and remain good friends, but I know this is impossible. My friendship with him has been exiled by my love with Li Yi. I can do nothing but regret. The winter vacation is coming, and I am living every day quickly in the process of busy reviewing and missing Li Yi.Counting the time I haven't seen him, it has been twelve and a half days.In the rental house, listening to Ren Xianqi, knitting a beige sweater.I used to laugh at my mother for knitting sweaters for my father every year. Now I can’t buy any kind of sweaters in the society. After it is finished, it is only symbolically worn once or twice.

When knitting a sweater for Li Yi, I completely understood my mother, knitting a sweater for my beloved, every button of the sweater was tied with tenderness and a warm heart.I imagined that Li Yi was so handsome in a sweater, and his smile was like a pool of spring water, swaying in my heart.At this time, Li Yi called. "Dai Qian, where are you?" "It's in the neighborhood." I said. "Okay, I'll go right away." When Li made a phone call, he never procrastinated, said what he had to say, and never said a word. I ran to the bathroom, washed my face, and tidied my hair that wasn't messy.Then he sat down again and continued to knit the sweater, while listening to the sound of the motor.

After a long time, Li Yi did not come.I am worried, will there be any accident on the road?The thought made me shudder and fidget. After a while, I couldn't wait any longer, so I put on my down jacket and went out.Standing on the street in front of the community, looking in Li Yilai's direction.There has just been a light snowfall, and the road is covered with a thin layer of ice, shining coldly under the street lamps. "Will it fall because of the slippery road?" I thought so. Every time a motorcycle came by, I would be elated, followed by disappointment, and in between the joy and disappointment, I walked forward a block before I knew it.Suddenly, I was pleasantly surprised to see that Li was striding forward on the sidewalk across the street. He was walking forward wholeheartedly, walking his way, obviously not aware of my existence.

I shouted loudly: "Li Yi." As soon as Li saw me, he waved to me, looked left and right for no cars, and ran over. "Why didn't you ride a motorcycle?" I asked. "The motorcycle belongs to someone else, so I'm sorry to keep borrowing it." "That's right. Miser!" "You think they are all like you. The money for one call is two days' living expenses. It's just right to meet you here, saving me from going to your place." "It's not so far away. If you have something to say inside, I'm going to freeze to death."

"You want to seduce me again, I won't go." "Who is seducing whom? If you don't pull it down, I'm going back." "Whoever is afraid of whom, just go." Walking on the road, neither of us talked. I think he, like me, also wanted to find some suitable topics to resolve the indifference that made us anxious when we were silent. When talking about the same words, we need a kind of confession, which is concise and clear but not embarrassing.I think he, like me, has the same ulterior motives. We are like two balls colliding suddenly and then going our separate ways, and then looking for a way to collide again.

The rental house was as warm as spring. After entering the door, I ran up and down and made him a cup of hot tea. He kept holding it in his hand but had no intention of drinking it.Some things are like this, just like our inexpressible language, tea is obviously used for drinking, but he uses it to warm his frozen hands. He said: "I earned some money as a tutor, I will pay you 500 first, and I will pay you the rest later." I said, "Don't be so anxious, I don't need money to spend. It's winter vacation, you should buy something for your mother and be a filial son." I continued knitting my sweater while I was talking, wondering if he would ask Who is the sweater knitted for?

He said, "But sooner or later you have to pay it back." I knew that he would definitely disagree if I asked him not to return it, so I said, "Yes, I will tell you when I need it." He stopped insisting, sat for a while, and said he wanted to go.I said, "I have something to say." He said: "Let's talk quickly, it's freezing cold, and I have a long way to go." I stood up, put the sweater on the chair, went into my bedroom, brought out a bunch of bags, and said, "Do you see if these clothes look good?" That morning I found that his underwear was all torn. Because of his appearance, I specially bought some suits for him.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "Nothing interesting," I said. "Who do you think I am? I don't want it!" I was so happy that I wanted to see him overjoyed, but in the end I got disgraced. "Okay, it's my fault. I won't do it anymore. But I bought the clothes and I can't return them. Please help me, okay?" ask him. "If you don't want it, then don't! Don't talk too much!" There was no room for negotiation in Li Yi's words. "I am leaving, bye!" As soon as Li left, I threw an unknown fire on those clothes and threw them all over the room.What is this? People spend money to be happy, but I spend money to buy anger.

The more I think about it, the angrier I get, and I have the heart to burn these clothes.But soon my anger dissipated, because Li Yi called me. "I'm back at school, at the phone booth at the school gate." "Ok." "I'm afraid you'll miss me, so I'll give you a call." "Yeah." My nose was sore, I wanted to cry, I wanted to cry. "Are you angry? It's my fault. But I don't want to let Wang Jun's words come true. If I accept your help, it seems that I am approaching you for money. I want you to know that I am not People like that."

I was already in tears and didn't want him to know, but he could still hear my uncontrollable sobs. "You are crying, don't cry!" His panic came from the phone, "Please, don't cry. Otherwise, I will go back now." "No." I quickly stopped him.When I think of him walking five or six miles through the deserted streets in this cold night, I feel cold and tired for him. "Then be obedient and don't cry." "Ok." The tears that had just stopped after I put down the phone flowed down again, and I packed up the clothes I bought for Li Yi while my eyes were dim with tears.Later, I took out a tattered shoulder vest that Li Yi forgot in the rental house that morning, smelling Li Yi's smell, I felt more at ease, and fell asleep drowsily.