Chapter 18 Chapter 18 Butterfly Dream

My first love ended on a rainy autumn day when I was 15 years old. All the sad plots in the movie happened on rainy days. I am not in the movie, but I am no exception. Perhaps this is not surprising, because the city I live in has a long rainy season.There is no romance of Huangmei, nor the sorrow of Lilac, but there are endless trivial troubles and depressions. Until, the alley opened the beauty salon called "Butterfly Dream". The owner of the store is a young woman, young and beautiful, with an eternal smile on her face. She never treats the little beggars entangled in front of her door harshly, and always prepares some sweets and snacks for them to share.

I often think that if there are angels in the world, they should be like her. I fell in love with her more than I could. I love the way she smiles, her always clean and flowing long hair, and her faint smile before closing the door. I always think, when, I can touch her watery long hair lightly, if I can, hold her hand and talk with her knee to knee. In the dream, I even saw myself kissing her, trembling all over, like having a high fever.Then, I grew up. I began to save money hard, resisting the temptation of ice-cold Coke and video game consoles with super willpower, saving one dollar after another, and quickly saved up to fifty yuan.

Then I chose a sunny afternoon, put on my best shirt, stood in front of the mirror and hesitated for a long time whether to steal a daddy's tie and tie it.But considering that I haven't learned how to tie a tie, I finally gave up the idea. Like an adult man, I walked into "Butterfly Dream" confidently, sat down grandly, and said, "I want to wash my face." The girls in the beauty salon all laughed. She also smiled, with a little surprise on her face, but also a kind of understanding. She said to the ladies: "I have taken care of this little guest myself."

She let me lie on the beauty bed, cleaned up the young and astringent pimples on my face, and then massaged me. Her hand touched my face gently and delicately, and I felt so comfortable that I wanted to fall asleep or even die. Seeing death as home probably refers to this state. I said: "Your store name is very nice, 'Butterfly Dream', you are as beautiful as a butterfly." But she sighed softly and chatted with me like an adult.She said: "But people say that butterflies are transformed from insects. In my past, I was an ugly insect that lived in the dark underground."

I argue: "But you are a butterfly now, you live under the sun now." She smiled: "Yes, your smiling face is my sunshine. I really envy you, so youthful, so pure, I am your age, but a bug." I promised proudly: "It doesn't matter, since you say I am sunshine, I will shine on you every day." After that day, every day after school, I would take my homework to her shop to do, and only left at dinner time. I like to see her busy in front of me, talking and smiling gently to guests, her voice is always so sweet and soft, even in the face of unreasonable picks and provocations.

She often warns the girls in the store: "If you spend dozens of yuan to wash your hair, if you don't have the best service and the sweetest smile, why would the customers come? Our store is a serious business, and we must pay 100 yuan. To make people feel that it is worth it.” I like to see the way she suddenly becomes serious, very quiet, with a little melancholy, and has a different beauty from when she smiles. She is always beautiful. When guests come and go, when they see me, they often ask in surprise, "Who is this?" She replied with a smile: "My brother." There was a kind of complacency in the smile.

I somewhat understand what she said that I am her sunshine. I know she likes me too.This kind of liking made me shrink back in front of her.Many times, I wanted to ask her: "Can I kiss you?" But I can't tell, I'm afraid she will get angry, and I'm afraid she won't let me enter her shop again to do my homework under her warm eyes. The reason for my late return was later discovered by my mother, who was told by a female neighbor.I don't know the specific content of that conversation, but I can roughly guess from my mother's troubled eyes and angry expression, how dirty those words will be.

My mother asked me word by word what I did in the store every day, and what stories happened between me and "that woman". She refused to believe that I went there just to do my homework. She said: "Where is the condition better to do homework than at home? You are only in the third grade of junior high school, and you already have your own study room and your own computer. I can't keep you, and you have to go to the hair salon to do your homework, isn't it a joke? You let her call you 'brother', and I will be ashamed!" My mother questioned me for more than three hours, and I gradually felt that "going to the hair salon to do my homework" seemed like a big joke and a heinous crime.

Later, my father also joined in and told me a lot of profound truths. He said: You are already a young man, you should know how to distinguish right from wrong; It is a terrible thing to see that a person cannot ignore her past; he said: the beauty of the butterfly is only the surface, and the life experience of the butterfly is the essence. This kind of bombardment has been going on for three days and three nights. The central meaning is: the butterfly woman was originally a bug.She was a bug once, and she will always be a bug.Even if you turn into a butterfly, you still only deserve the life of a bug.

I don’t understand, I don’t understand why you can’t do your homework in a hair salon, I don’t understand why a bug is always a bug, I don’t understand why a woman in a hair salon doesn’t deserve to enjoy the sun, and I don’t understand why she calls me “brother” How could it be an insult to my mother and a stain on my family. My teenage rebellion was at its peak here.Maybe it's not just because of the protection of butterflies, but it's just that teenagers at that age are always eager to have something to defend. Maybe I've been looking for a reason to fight against my parents, and now I finally found it.In short, I suppressed my tears and said loudly to my parents with all my strength: I want it!I will recognize her as my sister!I'm going to the hair salon to do my homework!

Because the junior high school exam is imminent, and the school arranges night classes, I don't have time to go to the hair salon to see my sister, so my parents didn't make it too difficult for me, they just looked at each other, and then shook their heads frowning. Shake your head. I can no longer go to "Butterfly Dream" to do my homework, but every time I pass by after school, I will wave to my sister outside the glass door. Later, she got used to it. When I was out of school, I would always see her wandering by the door. When she saw me, she immediately greeted me with a beautiful smile like a butterfly, and gave me a plate of new snacks or a box. Jiang melted the ice cream, and said affectionately: "My brother is back, and the exam is only three days away. Are you nervous? But it's okay, you will definitely pass the key high school." She counts the time for me every day, which makes me feel that she is taking the exam with me, and I must get a good grade for her. The last exam was over, and when I walked out of the exam room, my first thought was: I’m going to visit my sister in the hair salon, and tell her that I’ve done well in the exam and I’m sure.Then, I will date her like a big man, go outing with her, watch movies, eat western food.I also want to ask her: Sister, can you kiss me? I was so excited by my own thoughts that I almost danced, and I couldn't wait to take a "taxi" to go home. But when the car stopped in front of "Butterfly Dream", I realized that there was a sign of "Closed Business" hanging at the door of the store. Three or four men in business uniforms were looking through the papers and asking questions. When my sister saw me, her eyes suddenly filled with tears. Yes, through the glass door, I clearly saw, or felt, that my sister's eyes were full of tears.She raised her hand to stroke her hair, and imperceptibly made a "go away" gesture to me. Then, I suddenly heard someone mention my name, it was one of the men and women watching the fire from the other side, and said in a shrill voice: "Isn't this the kid from the Zhang family? I heard that the woman's crime has something to do with him too , charged with seducing an underage boy." I just felt my brain "buzz", and the blood all over my body rushed up.I want to run into Rebecca and tell the guys in uniform that my sister is a good girl and my sister is in business, and I want to turn around and yell at the gossips and tell them how dirty and nasty their ideas are, I also want to quickly hide in the crowd, away from the siege and harm of these rumors. But in the end I didn't do anything, I just stared blankly at the glass door, watching my sister whispering to me again and again with the gesture of stroking her hair to "go away". Years later, that posture became a freeze frame, vividly and deeply imprinted in the deepest part of my heart, indelible. I no longer remember how my mother dragged me home that day, nor how my father strictly ordered me not to go out, and I even forgot how I later found out about the initiator of the anonymous letter that falsely accused "Dream of Butterfly" of operating a pornographic business One of them is my dear parents.I only know that it has been raining during those days, as if my sister shed endless tears. I was sick, and fell asleep day and night amidst the pattering rain. In my dreams, I saw my sister gesturing to me again and again, telling me wordlessly: "Go quickly." But, she said, I am her sunshine, if the sunshine is gone, wouldn't she go back to the darkness again? Then, one day, in the dimness, I heard my mother discussing with the female neighbor in the living room: "The scourge has finally moved away, and the mother's heart is finally relieved. If this kind of person doesn't leave, sooner or later it will cause bigger troubles." Come." I jumped up like a spring, and rushed to the window, and sure enough, I saw my sister standing in front of "Dream of Butterflies" with a seal on it. In front of the door was a fully loaded truck with the name of the moving company written on the body. My sister is moving out! Butterflies are flying away! I heard my heart yelling "No", and I didn't know where the strength and courage came from, and I suddenly opened the window desperately. Thank God I've never been so nimble and quick in my life.Like a martial arts master who is not afraid of death, I quickly slid down the third floor along the water pipe.The feeling of being in mid-air, as if I had become Batman. I have absolutely no fear in my heart, and I don't even have time to be sad. I only know one thing: If I can't catch up with my sister and say "I'm sorry, I didn't want this", then I will definitely die! The moment my feet landed on the ground, the truck started, and I fell to the ground suddenly, but I jumped up immediately, and my ankle felt a tearing pain, but I couldn't care about it anymore. I was in that narrow rainy alley Li cried frantically: "Sister..." and ran all the way to catch up. The car stopped. I fell to the ground again. Then, I saw my sister. I will never forget that she was wearing a light pink dress and a transparent plastic umbrella that day, which was as crystal clear as a butterfly. The butterfly danced in front of me, regardless of the mud on my hands, gently pulled me up, and then we hugged. I lay in her arms, choked up, almost breathless, tossed and turned, only one sentence: "Sister, it's not me, it's not me, it's not me..." How can I express the regret in my heart. Only I know how much she longs for sunshine and cherishes sunshine, and how rigorously she treats business.However, it was me who forced her to face the history of being an insect again, and bear those unwarranted accusations and slanders, but I really don't want it! I raised my head, put tears all over her face on her hand, and asked, "Sister, will you hate me?" "No," she shook her head sadly, but smiled sincerely, "You call me sister, you are my brother. If I resent you, I won't get out of the car." "So, do you hate my mother?" "No." She smiled even more poignantly, "She is just fulfilling the responsibility of a mother. I really envy you for having a mother who loves you like that. Brother, do you know? It wasn't the Industrial and Commercial Bureau who forced me to move, they It has been established that we are in business properly. It was me who moved out of my own volition." I was surprised, "Why? Is it because you don't want to see me again?" "Because I don't want to worry a loving mother." I couldn't help crying again.Why?Why would a mother's love hurt innocent people?Why is kindness the reason for angels to say goodbye? I cried and said, "Sister, in my eyes, you are a real angel, a butterfly angel." My sister laughed again and hugged me tighter: "And you, you are my sunshine." Then, she pushed me back a little, looked into my eyes, and suddenly, in a shocking way, she said the sentence I always wanted to ask her: "Can you kiss me?" I was killed by lightning.To this day, I still firmly believe that my sister's request was made on my behalf. She knows men too well and is unwilling to leave me any regrets, so she raised the question that has been lingering in my heart for me. My heart was agitated, and I rushed forward to kiss her face heavily, clumsily, wet, mixed with my tears. Then, I saw that the angel also shed tears. My sister said to me solemnly, almost solemnly, word by word: "This is the sweetest kiss I have ever received in this life. It is the feeling of sunshine imprinted on my heart." The big truck finally drove away in the continuous drizzle, and faintly, faintly, disappeared at the end of the rainy alley. I just felt empty in my heart, as if the most important thing in the innocent boy had also driven away with the truck. Only then did I realize that I had never really had a good conversation with my sister. I didn't even know where she came from or what she had done before.Those gossiping women have talked about it, but I don't want to hear it. All I know is that although the butterfly was transformed from a worm, after she became a butterfly, she would never go back to the dark underground.It is a very painful process for a bug to turn into a butterfly. Once it turns into a butterfly, she only has one week to live.During this week, the butterflies desperately chased the sunlight, and then disappeared among the flowers.Although the life of a butterfly is short, it knows how to cherish the sunshine more than anything else. She feeds on pollen and morning dew, reborn and extremely holy. Why do people reject butterflies looking for sunlight?And why should a man's gaze and a woman's long tongue force butterflies to return to the dark underground? In the boundless drizzle, I couldn't bear it any longer, and wept loudly...