Chapter 30 Chapter Thirty

During the days of patiently waiting for the death day of the empress's son-in-law, drought and famine occurred in the rivers, Huaihe, Liangzhe, and Jinghu roads located in the middle and lower reaches of the Yangtze River. According to the description of the local official, "...there are hundreds of miles of bare land, the grass seedlings are burned, the grains are exhausted, and the price of rice is soaring. The day is getting worse, and the poor are suffering from lack of food: the vegetable chaff is exhausted. Grass and trees, surface hemp roots, fern roots, palm trees, all the bark of the trees have been dug up... Many people died when they were hungry, their wives sold their children, and their conditions were unspeakable..."

The emperor was very worried, and discussed with the minister overnight. And I didn't sleep all night. After the ministers had dispersed, I asked someone to bring soothing tea to meet the emperor. I saw the emperor leaning on the dragon chair with a tired look. I took the tea from Gong'e's hand, put it in front of the emperor, and called softly: "Your Majesty..." The emperor slowly opened his eyes and glanced at me, without drinking tea, he just asked: "It's so late at night, why isn't Aifei going to sleep?" I shook my head and replied: "Your Majesty doesn't sleep, and my concubine can't fall asleep even thinking about it..."

The emperor was moved, took my hand, and said with a sigh: "The disaster from heaven, is it a warning from heaven to me..." I was stunned for a moment, and then comforted me: "Your Majesty, don't think about it too much. Since ancient times, the Worthy Lord has encountered natural disasters..." "Thinking of the lack of food and homelessness of the people in Limin, I feel extremely guilty... It's really exhausting." "Your Majesty, please take care of the dragon body. Although natural disasters cannot be determined by humans, we can take corresponding measures."

"Oh? Did Concubine Ai think of anything?" I paused and said: "The concubine doesn't understand politics, but I just read the chronicles of the previous dynasties. We might as well follow the example of our ancestors and reduce or exempt the corvee in the severely affected areas, recuperate, open warehouses, and provide rice for the poor. Donate money to the poor, give loans to the poor... In addition, the palace should also reduce expenses, prohibit extravagance and reduce dishes, and take the lead in showing..." The emperor nodded approvingly, and said: "My dear concubine, you have thought carefully, and you will have to worry about the affairs in the palace."

I smiled and replied: "Whatever the emperor said, every man is responsible for the important affairs of the country, this is also the duty of the courtiers and concubines." But on the second day when I was eating, I found that there were only thirty dishes on the table, six less than usual. My face sank, and I asked, "Who did this?" Ruyi stepped forward anxiously and said: "Didn't your empress tell the emperor yesterday that she wanted to reduce the dishes, and this servant..." I sneered, "The queen hasn't moved yet, how can I show off the limelight first? Go, bring me back!"

Later, it was not until the Queen took the lead in reducing the dishes, that I followed suit, and shed off the gorgeous clothes and wore plain clothes. Just a few days before the death day of the son-in-law in October, news came that Wu Cainu had died of illness. I felt a little sad when I heard it, but I also breathed a sigh of relief, so Wu Cainu made this happen, and the queen already knew the truth. In the next few days of daily routine greetings, I carefully observed the queen, and found that she looked at Concubine Xiaode from above with a strange expression, as if she was holding back her anger and hatred.

Just the day before the day before the death day of the son-in-law, Concubine Xiaode actually sighed with sincerity and said, "Tomorrow is the death day of the son-in-law, right? It's really sad... Every time my sister thinks of the son-in-law who passed away early, I feel so sad. I can't help crying..." After speaking, the circles of his eyes were really red. Normally, the empress would definitely be moved, but at this moment, it was just adding fuel to the flames. The empress's face could not conceal the anger, she walked down quickly, came to Concubine Xiaode, stretched out The slap was about to be thrown out.

Concubine Xiaode was taken aback, and I hurriedly called out: "Empress Empress!" Then I quickly walked in front of them, pulled the Empress's hand down, and praised with a smile: "Empress Empress, this jade bracelet is really fine, it is a new gift. Is it a tribute..." The queen woke up with a start, her face gradually returned to normal, she let go of her hand, and said, "Ah, yes, I just came down just now and wanted Concubine Xiaode to help me appreciate it..." Concubine Xiaode had some doubts in her eyes, but she still agreed with a smile: "The empress's things are naturally peerless treasures, and the concubines are only envious, so how dare they talk about appreciation..."

The queen squeezed out a smile, and said with something in her words: "Is it really just envy..." Concubine Xiaode was startled, but the queen had already changed the subject and went off to chat and laugh with other concubines. This day is the anniversary of my son's death. Although the queen told me that I don't have to pay my respects today, I still came to Fengyi Palace with some sacrifices I made for my son. The queen looked at the wishful sachet I made for my son-in-law, and was very surprised, "This is not the stuff I gave you as a gift..." I nodded and replied seriously: "The concubine still remembers the glorious appearance of the empress wearing the snow material. Even though the queen rewarded the concubine with such a precious cloth, the concubine dared not blaspheme herself. It has been kept in good condition. Today is the death day of the son-in-law, and the concubine made a sachet for the son-in-law with the cloth worn by the empress, which also means that the mother and child are of the same heart..."

When I mentioned the past friendship, the empress was much kinder to me, and recalled: "I remember that you often went to Fengyi Palace to play when you were young. At that time, I saw you as my own daughter..." I looked a little sad when I heard it, and sighed lightly. The queen also became silent, and after a long time she suddenly said: "Nu Xi, thanks to you for reminding me yesterday." I smiled slightly, and then asked with a surprised expression: "Recently, the empress seems to be looking uneasy. I don't know what happened? If you don't mind, you might as well talk to the concubine, maybe you can get an idea."

The queen looked solemn, hesitated for a long time, and finally just shook her head and said: "It's nothing, it's just that I haven't slept well recently, and my spirit is in a trance." I didn't go into it after hearing it, but said softly: "The empress should ask the imperial physicians to prescribe some soothing prescriptions. The empress is the head of the harem, so you should take good care of your body, that is the blessing of the harem. Minister The concubine is bold, the concubine has always regarded the empress as her own relatives in her heart, the concubine's mother died early, since she was a child, the empress loves and protects the concubine in many ways, the concubine always sees it in her eyes and is grateful in her heart That's why I think, even if the prince dies prematurely, he is still lucky, because he has such a good mother as you..." I spoke sincerely, seeing the empress's eyes softening, I He shut up, and only looked at her sadly. "Hey, what happened to my concubine today, I just said some sad words, maybe because today is the anniversary of the death of the prince, I feel something in my heart. I have disturbed the empress for a long time, so I might as well take my leave." Then I bowed respectfully to the queen and was about to leave when I heard the queen shout from above: "Nuxi, can I trust you?" I showed a surprised expression and turned to look at the queen, only to hear her ask again: "Can you? Are you someone I can trust?" She stared at me without blinking, as if trying to see through my eyes to the deepest part of my heart.But what she doesn't know is that my heart has long been dark and deeply bottomless, no one can touch it anymore, even I myself no longer have the courage to brush off the thick dust accumulated in my heart. I knelt down slowly, and solemnly replied: "I only obey the Queen's order, Nu Xi." The empress fell silent for a while, and then suddenly said viciously: "It's Concubine Xiaode who killed my son." I showed a startled expression, looked up at her, and suddenly asked: "I don't know why the empress suddenly said such words?" "Don't you believe what I just said?" the queen asked. "No," I said, "it's just that after so many years, how did the Empress know about it?" "It was Guan Jieyu who overheard Wu Cainu talking to the maid and informed me." After hearing this, I asked seriously: "Then how does the Empress know that this news is reliable? The matter is very important, and the Empress must carefully consider it." The queen shook her head and replied: "I was shocked when I heard it at first, and wanted to summon Wu Cainu for interrogation, but I didn't expect that when my attendants arrived, she was already dead. Isn't this the best proof? ?Whether she committed suicide in fear of crime or was murdered to silence her, isn't this very strange? Just imagine if there is nothing, how could Wu Cainu die so well?" I lowered my head to think, and nodded, "As the empress said, there may be something in it. But, what are you going to do, empress?" The empress became agitated, her eyes were red with hatred, she clenched her hands tightly, and said decisively: "This palace will report this matter to the emperor, and punish Concubine Xiaode to death!" I hurriedly got up in panic, grabbed the queen lightly, and persuaded rationally: "Your Majesty, don't act recklessly. Wu Cainu has been diagnosed as dying of illness by the imperial hospital. Now we have no evidence... no evidence, no evidence, Not only can the emperor not make decisions for you, but he will startle the snake..." The queen was stunned, her face turned pale, and finally she sat down weakly, and murmured: "It's a pity that Wucai girl died... There is neither physical nor physical evidence. Poor Bengong's child died like this, Bengong But I just watched the murderer get away with it, unable to avenge him..." After she finished speaking, she shed tears of grief and indignation. She was sad for a while, then suddenly remembered something, stood up abruptly and said, "I want Renhe to enter the palace." I was startled secretly, but said calmly: "The Empress must not act like this. It is neither a celebration nor a family-sacrificing time, but the Empress summons Daji back to the palace at this time, it will definitely make people feel strange." , especially what happened yesterday has made Concubine Xiaode suspicious..." The queen sat down dejectedly after hearing this, "Then what should I do, this is not acceptable, and that is not acceptable... Is it possible to let that poisonous concubine Xiaode be satisfied? This palace is not reconciled... This palace must do it for me. Poor child revenge..." Then she pulled me back again, stared at me expectantly and said, "Nuxi, you have been smart since you were a child, and you must be able to come up with ideas. You are on my side Is that right? You will help me..." I took her hand and replied calmly and lowly: "Yes." My firm strength was passed on to her through my fingers, and she gradually settled down. This elderly and helpless mother actually showed me a child-like dependent smile, and she said, "Fortunately, you can trust me." However, this sincere sentence made my heart tremble involuntarily. I looked at myself in the bronze mirror for a long time at night with the red candlelight shining. I asked Shanshan behind me and said, "Shan, have I changed?" Shanshan's hand stopped for a moment, then continued to comb my hair, and said softly: "Miss has grown from a little girl before to a beautiful woman now...how can it not change..." I shook my head in pain, and said, "It's not just this, I know there are other things that have changed. You know, I made a bet with myself just today. I bet that if the Queen doesn't believe me, Then I will not expect anything from now on, and just resign myself to being my imperial concubine; but she believed it, and she even said she believed me, yes, I know I should be happy, but I don’t know why at that time, I only felt sad. Now I know Yes, because at that moment I had lost something. Maybe it can be called the last bit of conscience I have left." My heart was so heavy that it almost suffocated me, so I breathed a heavy sigh of relief and continued: "I will win, I will get what I want. But all this is not because of my intelligence, but because of my strength." Taking advantage of her sincerity, her trust, and her lack of intelligence. If anything, the success this time will be due to my heart, which has grown vile and treacherous." Through the bronze mirror, I saw that Shanshan's eyes became gloomy, and her voice came from behind, "Miss, can you stop..." "No." I answered her briefly. As if to say to her, as if to say to myself, "If I lose my conscience, I will never pick it up again." When I went to meet the queen the next day, she turned her back and asked me eagerly, "Have you come up with any ideas?" I was silent for a while, then took out a small white porcelain bottle from my sleeve, and said in a deep voice, "Unless you treat him in the same way as you do." The hand she was about to take shrank back as if it had been scalded, and looked up at me with some horror. "No..." Her first reaction was to refuse. I didn't force her to persuade her, but just smiled slightly, and was about to put the porcelain vase into my sleeve again, but the queen suddenly stopped her and said, "Wait a minute." She reached out to take the small porcelain bottle, and examined it for a while, her eyes full of hesitation and hesitation. In fact, she should also understand that poisoning may be the only way to get revenge when there is no evidence and Concubine Xiaode is stable and rarely travels on business. I didn't say much about her hesitation, I just said: "The empress can make up her own mind, the concubine will retire first." The queen nodded while holding the porcelain vase, but suddenly stopped me when I crossed the threshold and was about to leave. She said with half authority, "Do you know that this matter should be kept secret?" I replied, "Only the heavens and the earth know about this matter. The empress and concubines know about it. It will never be passed on to anyone else." "Let's put this thing here first, and you, just forget about what happened today." I bowed my head and replied, "Remember the empress' teachings." Jingming said: "The servant sees that the queen may not use the medicine that the young lady gave her." "Yes, she doesn't know how to use it. On the one hand, she is cowardly, and on the other hand, she will not use the poison I gave her to prevent her from being caught by me. This is the queen, no matter how much hatred there is, she can't be ruthless." Queen, otherwise I won’t be able to wait for me to offer her poison.” "Then..." Jingming questioned me in embarrassment. "I just want to take advantage of her hesitation. This medicine, she won't be able to do my business after using it." I narrowed my eyes slightly and said with confidence. While the queen was still hesitating, things had changed. Concubine Xiaode went to Fengyi Palace to drink tea that day, and when she came back, she suddenly convulsed, her face was livid, and she vomited blood and died on the spot. The imperial physicians rushed to see him, but they were undoubtedly poisoned to death. The queen was the first to bear the brunt of the suspected murderer, and when the guards went to Fengyi Palace to search, they found the small porcelain bottle containing the poison. What I gave the queen was half a bottle of poison, which of course became the evidence of the queen poisoning Concubine Xiaode. The queen stared blankly at the unused porcelain vase that made her hesitate all the time, and was speechless for a long time. Being so unintelligent, she couldn't even realize how Concubine Xiaode died before she could make a move. "It's not me..." she murmured, shaking her head in disbelief. The emperor was shocked by this beforehand, and then furiously said to the queen who was being escorted by the guards below: "You queen! I really can't imagine that you are so vicious..." The queen woke up, and she said loudly to the emperor: "It's really not a concubine..." A distressed expression appeared on the emperor's face, and he threw the porcelain bottle found by the guards in front of her, and said angrily: "There are all the evidence, do you still want to quibble?! Why did you do this? I respect you so much in vain. I trust you, I never thought you would do such a thing! Concubine Xiaode has always been virtuous, why did you harm her..." The queen stared blankly at the physical evidence in front of her, unable to argue.But when it came to Concubine Xiaode, she became excited, walked up to the emperor on her knees and said, "Your Majesty, Your Majesty, it was Concubine Xiaode who killed our son... She deserved what she deserved..." To outsiders, such words undoubtedly admitted that he had poisoned Concubine Xiaode. When the emperor heard this, he was surprised and angrily asked: "What evidence do you have?" The queen was dumbfounded, unable to tell why. This aroused the emperor's anger even more. He pointed at the empress in grief and anger and said, "You murdered people without any basis...how can you be so obsessed with the world! Someone, pull her down!" "I'm wronged, Your Majesty, the concubine was indeed... no, no, but in the end the concubine really didn't kill Concubine Xiaode..." The emperor turned away from looking at her in pain, and waved his hands, and the guards were ordered to pull the queen down, and the queen's wailing was still faintly heard from outside. The Empress and Concubine Xiaode have been by the Emperor's side since he was young, so it is impossible for him to be without feelings. I can see that this incident has dealt a great blow to the Emperor and exhausted him physically and mentally. But because of this, he became more and more attached to me. He stayed in my Jujiu Palace all day, and said to me dejectedly: "A woman's heart is really deeper than the sea. Although I have never been close to the queen, I feel that She is a woman who understands righteousness, I never thought her heart would be so vicious! And Concubine Xiaode has always been considerate to me, but she was killed by her instead! It really makes me sad..." I sat silently beside the emperor, then sighed and said: "The concubine would never have imagined that the queen, who seems generous and generous, would do such a thing... Now that I think about it, I feel a little scared..." The emperor also sighed heavily, and then suddenly asked me: "What do you think, Concubine Ai? The queen keeps saying that concubine Xiaode killed her son. Is this possible? But if what she said is true, then Xiaode What kind of woman the concubine should be, I dare not think about it. Do you think it will be like the empress said that Concubine Xiaode killed my first prince?" I showed a surprised expression, then shook my head, and replied innocently: "I don't know. These all happened before I entered the palace. I don't understand those kindnesses and resentments, so I don't dare to act rashly." assertion." The emperor nodded slightly, and said with emotion: "That's right. You weren't even born then." I leaned myself on the emperor and said softly: "Your Majesty, my concubine knows your sadness, isn't there still a concubine here? The concubine will always be considerate of the emperor, and strive to do better than my concubine Xiaode... " The emperor was moved and embraced me in his arms. After comforting the emperor, I summoned Jingming and asked, "How is the queen's trial going?" Jingming replied: "The murderer dies, the evidence of the crime is all there, and the empress must die. It's just that she didn't plead guilty, and she kept saying that she wanted to see the emperor." I turned my face back and said: "She has finally come to her senses. She must not be allowed to see the emperor. Who is in charge of this matter now?" Jingming replied, "It's Lord Wang, Minister of the Ministry of Punishment." I nodded and said, "You passed on my message to the past, saying that you hope he will close the case early, and the emperor doesn't want to worry about it anymore. Do everything possible to make the queen confess and plead guilty earlier." Jingming took the lead and left. Afterwards I became weak and said I was frightened.I am pampering the emperor, and the emperor can only stay in Jujiu Palace all day long to take care of me, and he doesn't care about the queen's affairs. Later, the Minister of Criminal Affairs published the confession confessed by the queen, and the emperor's Zhubi set the date of execution in batches, and he didn't have the heart to think about the last affection and take another look at her. When the attendants came to the prison with poisoned wine, I also appeared in front of the queen. The queen was wearing a white death row suit, grabbed the thick fence of the cell, and screamed at me, complaining: "Nuxi, I have always treated you well and trusted you, why did you kill me? Why?!" I stared at her distraught face for a long time, and finally replied indifferently: "Then I just ask you, where did my mother's dragon jade belt come from?" Spoiler - Queen I was already eighteen years old when I married the current emperor, which is considered a late marriage for a lady from an ordinary family.However, I am different, because I am the first concubine who has been appointed by default. Not only do those young ladies dare not laugh at me, but they even envy me and flatter me. My father was a dignitary in the imperial court, and was even related by blood to the queen at that time. When I entered the palace for the first time, the queen held my hand happily and asked me my age. I was nervous and shy, but timid. She timidly replied, "Minnv is twelve years old this year." The queen smiled, and said to her father: "This child is handsome and has a blessed face. If I like him, why don't I marry my second son in the future. Although he is three years older, as the saying goes, 'daughter It's not a bad thing to be a junior, holding a golden brick." Dad couldn't hide his joy on his face, and thanked him again and again. At that time, I was secretly happy, because it was the first time I heard someone praise me like that, and my cousin always laughed at me for being stupid and mediocre. It wasn't until later that I realized that the reason why the queen chose me was not based on my appearance, nor my age, but on my identity and background. When I got home, my father said to me excitedly: "You may be the mother of the world in the future. It is a great honor for the queen to come from my family..." At that time, I was a little more sensible, and I raised my head and asked my father suspiciously, "Didn't he grow up and grow up since ancient times? Isn't the eldest son of the emperor to be the emperor in the future?" Dad replied: "The eldest son of the emperor has been weak since he was a child, and he has been suffering from serious and minor illnesses. I don't think he is a lucky person. And the second son is also born to the empress, and he is smart and smart. He is very likely to inherit the throne..." Then he She looked at me with a smile, and lovingly stroked my hair, "At that time, my daughter, you will be the mother of a country." Since then, my father has sent people to teach me strictly, trying to train me to be a dignified and virtuous lady. In just a few years, I have been familiar with books such as "Internal Training", "Women's Commandments", "Girlfriends", etc. I have learned not only not to smile without showing my teeth, but also to be right My husband is absolutely obedient. I still clearly remember that on the day of my wedding, my mother-in-law took my sign language and said earnestly: "The emperor is an extraordinary family. As a mother who has been here, I would like to warn you. Never expect to get your husband All love, he can have many women, but - as long as it is not a woman, then you will win the final victory as the main wife." I was very disapproved when I heard it, and even secretly complained how she could say such unsightly things when I was newly married.It was not until later that I realized how useful this sentence is, enough for me to quote it as a wise saying in my life. When my husband took off my red hijab, I could see his handsome face in the red candlelight, and my heart was pounding. This is the person I want to keep private and grow old together , how lucky I am. On the wedding night, although I was older than him, I had no experience and let him control everything skillfully. He was tired and fell asleep by my side quickly, but I couldn't fall asleep, I just wanted to look at him carefully, stroke his eyebrows gently, and said to myself that this is my husband, My world, my master... my reliance and love in this life. When he woke up in the morning, I woke up too, and hurriedly got out of bed to help him dress and wash. While straightening his belt, he smiled and said, "You don't have to do these things, this is what servants should do." "No..." I blushed slightly, "This is what a wife should do..." He smiled, in my eyes like sunshine in spring, gentle and bright, "You are such a virtuous and good wife." At that moment, my heart and my whole being were illuminated by these words, virtuous, virtuous.I have been pursuing these two words all my life, just to get his smile again. He came to my room for a few days after the wedding, and sometimes he would talk poetry and play chess with me when he was in a good mood. I simply felt that I was the happiest woman in the world.But one day, his figure no longer appeared at night, and the personal servant girl hesitated to tell me at first without telling me, until I was forced to tell me that he had gone to another woman's room. I will never forget the feeling at that moment, as if I fell into a dark ice cave, falling deeply and continuously.But there seemed to be a raging fire below, scorching me, making my mouth dry and unable to breathe. It was the first time I experienced the feeling of jealousy, but it was so helpless and powerless. So a sleepless night, tears pillow cold. I saw him the next morning and he was refreshed.He was a little surprised when he saw me, and then asked with concern: "What's wrong with you? Your eye circles are red, did you not sleep well last night?" I looked up at him, his expression was so innocent, tears could no longer be restrained from streaming down my face. When I entered the palace to pay my respects, the queen saw me haggard, and her tone was sympathetic and reproachful. She said: "I know you are suffering, but you are not making trouble for no reason. This is what I admire about you. The second son is now At an age where you are interested in women, it is normal for you to have three wives and four concubines. As a concubine, you have to show your generosity..." I did so, because I never knew how to resist, because I was taught since I was a child that tolerance and generosity are the most important qualities and virtues for a future queen. Later, my husband was registered as the crown prince, and I was honored as the crown princess as a matter of course. The prince later doted on many women, but I have gradually become numb.Only then did I realize how meaningful what my mother-in-law said to me at that time. The prince has many women, but he has never favored any of them alone. In the end, only me, the concubine, is the most stable and reliable. Will come back to me eventually. But what broke this pattern was the appearance of a woman named Chu Yun. She is the young lady of Zhongshu Ling's family. I saw her once at the Pear Blossom Banquet, and I couldn't help but be amazed at her spotless beauty, like a fairy who doesn't eat fireworks. But it wasn't enough to make me notice her. What made me care about her was that my one and only emperor had changed. He began to pamper the harem concubines less, but there was a bright look on his face, which I had never seen before. Then I found that there was always a sedan chair outside the palace that was brought into the palace from time to time. Here she is again. I watched her from afar in the corner, and Xiao Liuzi beside me asked in a low voice: "Does the Empress need to report this matter to the Empress Dowager?" I hesitated, and finally just shook my head. I was afraid that he would blame me if he found out, and I hoped that it was just the emperor's whim. Later, the woman did not enter the palace anymore, I was secretly happy, but found that the emperor was out of his mind every day, looking like a lost soul. When Xiao Liuzi told me that the emperor had disguised himself to leave the palace, I suddenly had a bad feeling in my heart, and I was almost paralyzed on the ground, but I didn't care about it and said in a hurry: "Quick, tell the Queen Mother about this!" The queen mother was really furious when she found out. I cautiously came up with an idea below: "I have an idea, why don't the empress dowager marry her to Mr. Dan Yun Shangdan... Mr. Dan is the emperor's childhood playmate, and he is highly valued by the emperor. I have some scruples and dare not do things that violate the etiquette..." The queen mother nodded, and she said with admiration: "It seems that over the years, you have not only learned the bearing of being a wife, but also the wisdom of being a wife." So the Empress Dowager's Yizhi, the first emperor, arrived at Zhongshuling's mansion, and it was a foregone conclusion. I witnessed the emperor's pain at that time, and my heart ached with him, and I even would rather suffer for him, but I still wouldn't let that woman enter the palace. Because she makes me fear, fearing that she will take away all the love from my husband and leave nothing to me. I thought that with the passage of time, the new and beautiful concubine in the palace would make the emperor gradually forget her, but I didn't expect the emperor to be so affectionate, and even sent people to quietly deliver letters and gifts from time to time after her marriage . The uneasiness is increasing day by day, and the flames of jealousy are burning in my heart that I thought was peaceful and magnanimous. The emperor held a banquet for various reasons, and even specifically declared that the ministers attending the banquet could bring their family members, regardless of wives and concubines, but every time he was disappointed again and again, because he couldn't see the shadow of the woman he had dreamed of. On the contrary, I can see Lord Dan's main wife every time, that woman who can't hide the desolation in the corner of her eyes. Suddenly I saw myself in her, and I thought of our sympathy for the same fate, suffering from the same woman, so I couldn't help feeling kind to her in my heart. Once she found me out of the blue, which surprised me, but I still met her. She told of her pain tearfully, which made me sigh. In the end, she changed the subject, talked about her resentment, and finally confessed her plan to me, asking for my assistance. I was silent for a long time, because I asked myself that since I was born, I have never done anything harmful, and I have ruled the harem with tolerance. I know what the crime of adultery means to such a young lady; but it is undeniable Yes, there is a faint hostility for revenge in my heart, I want to make that young lady who easily has the emperor's love suffer, let her also try the taste of pain. I also thought of the emperor's new favorite, Si Xiurong, who received thousands of favors just because she looked like her, and was promoted again and again, and even I, the queen, was not looked down upon. So in the end I gave her a dragon-patterned belt worn by the emperor in the palace. I don’t remember how long later the news of the woman’s death came. When I heard the news, I first felt a sense of relief that I could sit back and relax, and then I felt a little guilty, because I knew that what I did had a negative impact on her death. There is no shirkable responsibility. So I made up for this guilt on her daughter, Nuxi. I regard her as my own, favor her and take care of her, and sincerely hope that she can have a happy life. Unexpectedly, when she grew up, she would be favored by the emperor, and she would be named the emperor's noble concubine after serving the bed overnight, and her status would soon be close to that of me, the empress. The emperor's favor for her is unmatched, the real three thousand favors are all in one, and the real favor crowns the harem, but to my surprise, I didn't feel the same jealousy and hatred as I did towards her mother. Because I understand that she is not her mother after all, she is not the never-fading woman named Chu Yun buried deep in the emperor's heart, she is just a substitute, just the shadow of her mother, just a poor person. I am an old man, looking at Nu Xi's bright and youthful face, I feel envious and involuntary admiration in my heart. The emperor is also getting old, this may be the last flower in the harem, if she can bring the emperor happiness, then let her bloom brilliantly. Nuxi did not disappoint me, she behaved in a decent manner and respected me, she was not arrogant at all because she was the emperor's favorite concubine.So a feeling of guilt towards her mother and a bit of sincere love for her made me, who was old and powerless, trust her to take care of some things in the harem. She is not arbitrary, but always asks my opinion very respectfully, which makes me respect and love her even more. When I knew Concubine Xiaode was the murderer of my son, my heart was so disturbed and helpless, but seeing Nuxi's firm eyes made me calm down unexpectedly, and I felt that I had a backbone, I'm even glad that I have such a decision-making person by my side. I never doubted that she would betray me, after all, I was so kind to her. But when I was thrown into prison, I thought about the whole story carefully, and suddenly woke up. I realized that I was wrong, and I didn’t necessarily get the same return for my efforts. This queen. I suddenly realized that I was so superficial and stupid. I had no beauty or wisdom, and I was able to achieve the status of the supreme in the world because I had a good background.But now I was pulled down from the precarious throne of the queen, and even sent to the eternal hell, because the fate of a woman depends entirely on the love of a man. Or because he doesn't love me, never loved me. When the child stared at me and asked me word by word where her mother's belt came from, I felt clear and inexplicably relieved. I hide my heart, I am very tired from life. I don't blame Nuxi, I just feel a little sad for the emperor. Why don't you want to see me again before I die...I regard it as the husband of all life. I couldn't help laughing sadly, I have been sensible and virtuous all my life, why I still can't get love in the end...