Chapter 18 Chapter Eighteen

He was startled, his face turned pale, but he returned to his normal expression immediately, and said in a cold tone: "This doesn't seem to be something you should care about." I smiled brighter and replied: "It is not right for the tenth prince to say that. As a younger sister, is there anything wrong with Nu Xi caring about her sister's life-long affairs?" But he didn't just pester me blindly, as if ignoring me. But when he left, he said something like this in a contemptuous tone: "You are not as good as your sister, you should really learn what women's virtues are when you have time!"

I was stunned in place, I didn't expect that there are people who prefer my sister! I forgot what it was like to hear those words at that time, but I understood one thing at that time: It turns out that even if I am as beautiful as me, I can't make any man bow down under my pomegranate skirt. It turns out that no one person can conquer everything. The relationship between me and King Quan Yu is mostly ambiguous. Sometimes I think he likes me, but then I deny it because he never promised me anything. When I heard with my own ears that he wanted to marry me, it was due to an event that happened half a month later.

Concubine Jinde passed away. Although I have already seen that Concubine Jin De's health is not very optimistic, but I didn't expect it to be so soon. Maybe it's because Qingxun Diji's marriage made her too sad and aggravated her condition. The weather that day was so gloomy that it seemed to be breathless. I saw big dark clouds rolling in from the east, and the wind picked up, as if it was going to rain heavily. I was in a hurry to go back to Xiao Ya Zhai, and when I passed by Qin Chunyuan, I accidentally caught a glimpse of King Quan Yu. He sat on Qin Chunyuan's swing, buried his head between his arms, I couldn't see his expression.

Sitting on a small swing, his tall and healthy body looked a little ridiculous, but I couldn't laugh at all. A gust of wind blew past, shaking the branches from side to side, and the corners of his pure white robe were also blown up and down. An embroidered handkerchief fell from under his body, was blown up by the wind like a butterfly and thrown into the air, then fell powerlessly at my feet. I bent down to pick it up, and saw the words "Concubine Jinde" embroidered on the corner. I walked up to him softly, and stretched out my hand to give him the embroidered handkerchief.

He raised his head slowly, his eyes turned red. He stretched out his hand to take it, and then lowered his head again. I stood there in a little embarrassment, feeling a little bored, and turned to leave. But he grabbed his wrist from behind, and then said in a low voice, "Don't go, slave." "Don't go, stay with me." He murmured again. I turned around and looked at him in disbelief. His eyes seemed to be covered with mist in the autumn morning, appearing unprecedentedly sad. He spoke with difficulty, as if he was talking to me or talking to himself, "Sister... Otohime, really... Mother Concubine kept calling her name on the sick bed before she passed away... She didn't even come to visit At a glance... what do you say that monks don't care about the world..."

After speaking, he smiled wryly, a very bitter smile. I never thought that he would talk about his family affairs with me, and I never thought that he, who has always been calm, would have such an expression. My heart skipped a beat, sad because of his sadness, and a feeling that I never had before flooded from the bottom of my heart, which was extremely soft but strong. I hope that I can comfort him, encourage him, and hope that he will not be so sad. "But there is still Nuxi, and there is still Nuxi looking at the prince..." I blurted out. He looked up at me in surprise. I also suddenly realized how presumptuous and ridiculous my words were, I was really self-indulgent...

"No, just now..." I concealed it, and after I finished speaking, I wanted to run away. "Nuxi, marry me." His deep voice came after I took three or four steps. I froze there, opened my eyes wide, and looked back at him in disbelief. He was still sitting on the swing, clasped his hands, looked at me without blinking, his lips were tightly pressed, and the expression on his face was solemn rather than joking. After hearing this sentence, I was not as happy as I expected. I just asked softly: "Why?" If it's just me for solace, I don't want it. He grinned, lowered his head again, and said to himself, "Yes, why... But, I just... want to be with you."

He looked up at me with sad eyes, "Isn't that enough?" I walked up to him and looked at him. He took my hand, his hand was thick and rough, and there was a solid force coming from it. "Although I can't give you the position of the main wife, I will treat you sincerely in the future..." I shook my head, it's not that I don't care about these, but if you can't give me, I will fight for it myself. "I'll marry you." I replied word by word. King Quan Yu will be leaving tomorrow, and we will meet in a remote forest in the east of the palace.

He can't marry me right away. On the one hand, I am still young, and on the other hand, he just lost his mother and can't hold a wedding ceremony for the time being. "I'll come back in half a year. At that time, I will definitely show that my father has settled down our marriage, and we will get married when you are fifteen... Nu Xi, can you wait for me?" I nodded emphatically. He was moved and hugged me tightly in his arms. I closed my eyes, and I could even hear the powerful beating of his heart... After a long time I raised my head to look at him, his eyes were deep and bottomless.

He stretched out his hand to caress my smooth forehead, lowered his head and kissed it lightly, and said firmly, "This is an agreement." Extra Story - King Quan Yu I caressed the trunk of the maple tree in the courtyard of Yijing Palace, looked at the emerald-green leaves, and thought that this year’s maple tree will bloom more red and beautiful than the previous year, but the maple tree viewers are gone... The mother and concubine married her father at the age of sixteen. At that time, the father had not yet ascended the throne and was only a prince. My grandfather was a highly respected first-rank official in the two dynasties at that time, my grandmother also had royal blood, and my mother and concubine were the first-line daughters.The grandfather and grandmother had a daughter in old age, so they naturally loved the mother and concubine even more.

The empress at that time, who is now the empress dowager, betrothed her mother and concubine to the emperor by name. On the one hand, the concubine, who was already pregnant with a son, was pregnant again, and the emperor had no women to serve her; In order to consolidate the foundation of the prince. In this way, the mother and concubine got on the sedan chair amidst the music of the Xilings. Although the mother and concubine at that time felt a little sad about leaving her parents, it was more of a yearning for the little daughter who was "a collection of thousands of loves". When they were newly married, the father and the emperor loved the mother and concubine very much. But after a long time, the concubine mother felt the pressure. There is never a shortage of beautiful women in the backyard of the Prince's Mansion, let alone noble women. No matter how good he was, he still couldn't let his father stay alone in his room every night, and even watched his father flirting with the beautiful maid beside him and dared not speak out. The beautiful fantasies of girls were brutally impacted by reality, and the mother and concubine became scarred for a while. She used to be unable to sleep in the middle of the night, weeping silently, sometimes even crying and making noise, but after countless disappointments, the mother concubine also became numb. Because the concubines in the backyard live like that. Later, the concubine became pregnant. The father was very happy when he learned that his mother and concubine were pregnant, because he only had one son at that time, and this was not enough for the father as the crown prince. The crown prince gave birth to a baby not long ago, but a concubine disappointed the father, so this time he placed his hopes on the concubine mother, and it was a lot of work to go to the concubine mother. The mother and concubine are not bad at heart, but perhaps she has been spoiled since she was a child, so she actually has a competitive mind. She wanted to have a son with all her heart. The concubine mother's pregnancy reaction was very serious, and she often vomited without eating a few mouthfuls. She felt very painful, but she couldn't hide her joy when she heard the older generation say that the boy who had the most serious reaction might be a boy. The concubine mother sewed the boy's baby clothes with great interest every day, but she was stunned after giving birth. She gave birth to a concubine, and that is my sister B concubine. The father pretended not to care and comforted the concubine mother, but the concubine mother could still tell the disappointment in his eyes. When the concubine was in confinement, news came from the backyard that a concubine gave birth to a boy, which undoubtedly made things worse for the concubine. Later, I heard from the palace people that the concubine's spirit was extremely depressed at that time, and she had no time to pay attention to the newborn Otohime. The mother and concubine are just in good health and are keen on the civil servant's prescription. She often asks someone to sneak it into the mansion. In addition, she burns incense and prays tirelessly every day. Until later when I was born, my mother and concubine wept with joy. At that time, my father already had three sons, and my late birth did not receive much attention.But the father was still really happy, and the queen mother also gave a generous reward, and the position of the mother and concubine was truly stabilized. After I was born, my mother and concubine's thoughts were even more focused on me, and I even ignored my sister. My sister hates my mother and concubine, but not me. She always thinks of me first no matter what, and always tolerates me when there are good things. I don't complain about my late birth, on the contrary, I am very glad that I have such a sister. Later, the father and emperor successfully ascended the throne as the emperor, and the mother and concubine were also granted the title of concubine Jinde because of their prominent family background and the birth of a prince. We moved into Yijing Palace with maple trees in the courtyard. Every autumn, my sister and I would look for beautiful maple leaves under the fiery red maple trees, and then put them in the books. Qin Chunyuan's swing was often the place where my sister and I loved to play when we were young. I thought that the happy and worry-free days could go on like this forever, but then my sister was getting married. When the elder sister got married, she was very indifferent to her mother and concubine, and she said goodbye to her mother and concubine without nostalgia.The concubine mother was stunned, and then realized that her usual neglect of her daughter had made her alienate herself unknowingly. The concubine mother realized that she was also thinking about her daughter after her elder sister got married. She wrote to her sister, but she replied a letter, but the letter mostly asked about my diet and health, and did not mention anything about my concubine mother. Concubine Mu felt deeply guilty and even humbly begged Elder Sister to come back to the palace to see her, but Sister always shied away.In the end, the concubine mother had to think of reasons to ask the queen mother to order her sister to return to the palace, and her sister was forced to come back once. My sister didn’t say anything to my concubine when she came back, but I couldn’t sleep until that night when I came out and saw my sister sitting on a stone bench in the courtyard, and by the light of the moon, I could see a tear trail running down her cheek. I walked up to her and knelt down and asked her, "Sister, are you unhappy?" She hastily wiped away the tears on her face, and said, "How can my sister be unhappy?" I asked her sadly, "Why is that sister crying?" She stretched out her hand to gently caress my face, and said to me irrelevantly: "Zhuansheng, from now on, you must make your woman happy...don't let her cry for you..." Until it happened that my sister shaved her hair and became a nun. There was an uproar in the palace, and the empress dowager's father was even more furious, and the voices of condemnation and ridicule continued to hit the mother and concubine. The mother and concubine couldn't bear the strange eyes of everyone, and finally fell ill. I served before the sick bed every day, and my concubine always cried when she saw me. She took my hand and choked up and said, "Cheng'er, you are the only concubine...you have to fight for concubine mother..." That sentence was so heavy that it almost made me unable to breathe. And the sarcastic remarks of other concubines or princes came to my ears from time to time. In less than a month, my father urged me to get married again. On the wedding day, the bride looked at me with affectionate eyes, remembering what my sister said, I hugged her tightly in my arms. After I was happy, I accidentally found the Jade Guanyin hanging around her neck, and I took it to look carefully. She explained: "It was given to me by a nun when I went to a nunnery when I was a child..." She stopped abruptly when she said nun, and then looked at me with anxious eyes. I asked her, "You also heard about Otohime?" But she immediately replied: "I...haven't heard of it..." She is lying. I got up and put on my clothes, let her call from behind and ignored her, and left without looking back. The next day I bid farewell to my father, mother and concubine and enlisted in the army. I have become more stable through my experience in the army. I am not arrogant or indulgent, and lead by example, and gradually won the support and love of the sergeants. I gradually faded away from the immatureness of my youth, and gradually grew into a mature man. I found out that a woman I didn't love before can also be hugged. Nothing to do with feelings, only animal-like primitive desires. Fu Wan is the only woman I have ever really been attracted to. It is the woman I thought I had been looking for sincerity to love, the one I want to grow old with, but she died before me. She has become my eternal pain. I thought I would never love again until I met her later. That girl with silver eyes who is always stubborn makes people sometimes annoyed, but also makes people love and pity involuntarily. I actually had a strong desire to protect and love her. I remembered the last sentence my sister said to me before she became a monk: "When you want to protect a woman, that is love." After hesitating for many times, I still want to give her happiness in the end. Half a year, just half a year, I just want to wait for him sweetly, wait for him to marry me and be his bride. But what I didn't expect was that so many things could happen in half a year. Totally caught me off guard. In autumn, I used to visit the Zhencun nun who lived in Zhuqing Nunnery in Gongdong. It was a secluded and lonely place. I found out the exact location of Zhuqing Nunnery after several inquiries. I walked into the courtyard hesitantly, only to see that there were only a few scattered green bamboos standing upright in the deserted surroundings. Is it really here?I hesitated to climb up the steps, only to find that there were traces of being sprinkled and dusted on the steps. At this time, the upper wooden door creaked open, and a handsome young nun in her late teens walked out. She saw that I was a little strange and surprised, but immediately bowed to me with clasped hands, and asked, "I don't know why this benefactor is here?" I replied, "I'm here to visit the Zhencun nun." Suddenly, she replied crisply: "The nun is doing morning classes now. This benefactor, please follow me." She led me in, and I looked around, only to see that the interior was simple and shabby, except for the enshrined Buddha statue table, there was only a black wooden table and two chairs in front of me. The little nun waited for me to sit down, made me a cup of tea, and explained: "The benefactor will wait for a while. The nun will come out in a while." I nodded to her and took a sip from my teacup. It is Lu'an melon slices. After a while, a woman in a black Buddhist robe came out. The little nun saluted the woman and called "Nun." It turned out that she was the Zhenzhu nun, and I looked at her carefully without any trace. Perhaps it was due to the long-term fasting, her face was a little pale; her body was tall and thin, and you could even see the slightly convex blue blood vessels spreading on her white arms; her eyes were very similar to King Quan Yu's, with deep eyes. I got up to say hello to her, and she hurriedly put her palms together and bent down to return the salute. She told me to sit down, turned around and took out something from a small drawer, and put it into the small smoker on the desk. Immediately, a deep fragrance permeated the air. What she ignited was the "diopterin incense", which is regarded as a top-notch offering by Buddhists. I couldn't help sneering in my heart, even if I was a monk and lived a life of pure heart and asceticism, being a royal family has inherent advantages after all, the tea used is the best tea, and the incense is also the best of the best... She sat down next to me, looking at me calmly, without a trace of emotion. "I don't know why the benefactor came to this humble place like a poor nun?" Her tone was indifferent, no emotion could be heard. In fact, I didn't come here for any purpose, but since King Quan Yu left, I especially wanted to see what this unusual and resolute Oulu looked like. But I respectfully said: "The little girl came here because of her reputation, and she came here to discuss Buddhist principles with the nun..." She stared at me for a long time before she said, "I saw the expression in the donor's eyebrows and eyes, and it doesn't look like he is bowing to the Buddha." My heart skipped a beat. Indeed, I disdain to worship the Buddha. I changed the subject, tilted my head and asked seriously, "Won't the nun ask who I am?" She shook her head and smiled, "The benefactor comes as he pleases, and leaves later. There is no need between you and me, so what's the need?" I nodded secretly, it was indeed as she said - she escaped into Buddhism and didn't care about world affairs, and I still wanted to experience all kinds of tastes in the mortal world, and there would not be much communication between us. I said, "The fourth prince asked me to tell the nun that I hope you will take good care of your health." Hearing King Quan Yu, the nun's expression changed a little, but his tone was still calm, "Thank you so much for telling the benefactor." After sitting for a while, I got up to say goodbye. Although she was indifferent and did not exchange pleasantries, she sent me out of court. She said earnestly: "The poor nun is an ominous woman, it's better for the benefactor to come less often in the future." I smiled meaninglessly and said, "The nun is joking," and then I took out a few three-split palm-shaped orange-red maple leaves from my sleeve and handed them to her, "The maple trees in Yijing Palace are blooming beautifully. , Nu Xi deliberately picked up a few maple leaves and gave them to the nun, if they are sandwiched in the Buddhist scroll, it will be a bit interesting." Her expression changed, and finally she no longer had the usual detached expression, and she took it with slightly trembling hands. When the first snow fell in winter, I received the first letter from King Quan Yu. It was handed over to me by one of his confidantes in the palace. I dismissed the palace servants and slowly unfolded the red-purple letter paper with dark patterns. But I was not in a hurry to read the contents of the letter, but brought it up to my nose and sniffed it lightly. It seemed that there was still a scent of qinan on it, which made people feel at ease. I opened the letter, scanned it hastily, and then read it word for word. He said in the letter that whenever he looked at the moon in the sky at night, he would think of me, and asked if I was thinking of him under the moon like him... I smiled slightly when I saw this.He also said a lot of words asking me to pay attention to my body. Although it was old-fashioned, it made me feel a kind of considerate warmth.Even though the palace people served me meticulously, it was a different feeling to say such words from his mouth... I read it several times, thinking that I would also reply to him. I went to the desk, took out a piece of light pink paper and spread it out, raised the brush, but couldn't put it down. I have a thousand words but don't know where to start. I put the brush on the shelf, picked up King Quan Yu's letter and read it carefully. After that, I read it several times tirelessly with my arms propped up. It wasn't until I felt it was too much that I blushed a little and put down the letter, sat in front of the desk, and picked up the pen again. I lowered my eyebrows and thought for a while, then dipped in the ink, and carefully wrote down two sentences on the paper, "I miss you every day without seeing you, but I hope your heart is like mine". After finishing writing, I breathed a sigh of relief, filled with joy. At this time, Shanshan came in to add charcoal to the fire. She vaguely knew about the matter between me and King Quan Yu, so I handed King Quan Yu's letter to her and asked her to find a safe place to store it for me. She promised and took it carefully. Suddenly I remembered that this was wrong after all, so I asked for the letter again, walked to the fiery red charcoal basin and placed the letter on top of it. It's not good for me or him if this letter is discovered... In fact, I was very reluctant to let go, but I gritted my teeth and was about to let go. At this time, Shanshan exclaimed from behind: "Miss!" Then she ran forward and snatched the letter. I looked at Shan Shan in disbelief. Shanshan panted slightly, "This is the first letter from the young lady... Is the young lady willing?" I hesitated and said, "But..." Shanshan interrupted me and said: "Shanshan will help the young lady keep this letter well, so that no one else will find out. Let's keep this letter." I looked at her determined face, but I was actually very reluctant in my heart, so I finally sighed and agreed. The snow fell all day and night, and when I got up the next morning, I found that there was already a silver-white world outside the courtyard. The snow is so thick that it covers the ground like a soft goose feather quilt. The Ninth Prince invited me to see Numeishu together. I stepped on the soft snow layer that no one had stepped on the ground, and walked forward with one deep foot and one shallow foot. When the Ninth Prince saw it, he walked ahead independently, and turned to me and said, "You can follow in my footsteps." I smiled and shook my head, and replied, "I like walking and playing like this." He smiled lovingly, but said, "It's easy to get your shoes and socks wet, and it will be uncomfortable." I thought about it for a while and felt that what he said made sense, so I tilted my head and asked him seriously: "Then aren't you afraid of feeling uncomfortable?" He said, "I'm a man and I'm not afraid." I chuckled, but followed him obediently stepping on his footsteps step by step. I walked behind him and saw him wearing a white brocade cloak with dark patterns. Suddenly, I was playful. I squatted down quietly, picked up a handful of snow, rubbed it into a big snowball, aimed at the right time, and threw it behind his back. Snowballs hit his neck and scattered. He turned around in surprise, and I winked mischievously at him. He smiled, but didn't hit me back. I was a little bored, and originally wanted to have a snowball fight with him. I pursed my lips and yelled: "Ninth Prince, you hit me with a snowball too." He just smiled generously and said, "How can I give up." It is said that everything is revived and full of vitality in spring.But in that spring, I felt the sadness of autumn. The Ninth Prince left me in that spring. Years later, I was still blaming myself, if I hadn't gone to the hunting ground with him that day, wouldn't what happened later. It was sunny that day, but the Ninth Prince looked melancholy. I asked him what was wrong, but he hesitated to speak several times. In order to refresh him, I took him to the grassland of the hunting ground to play together. Said to take him to play, but actually I walked around to see and pick some wild flowers and weeds, and the Ninth Prince followed me patiently. I got tired after bouncing and jumping, so I picked up a piece of flat grass and simply sat down, laying my head down. The Ninth Prince looked at me in surprise, "Nu Xi, you..." I suggested to him: "Ninth Prince, you should also lie down and experience it. Looking at the sky like this makes me feel very comfortable." After listening to my words, he lay down next to me suspiciously, staring straight at the sky. After a long time, I asked, "Are you comfortable?" He replied softly, "Yeah." A spring breeze mixed with the fragrance of flowers and plants blew over, and I closed my eyes comfortably. I fell asleep in a daze. When I opened my eyes again, I found that the Ninth Prince propped himself up and lay on his side at some point, staring at me intently. At this time, a small insect seemed to fly towards my eyes and stuck to my eyelashes, which was extremely uncomfortable. I called Nine Princes. Then I felt a soft hand pick something from my eyelashes, which made me feel comfortable. I was about to open my eyes when suddenly I felt lips gently touch my eyes. I suddenly opened my eyes, and what caught my eyes was the extremely serious face of the Ninth Prince. I smiled awkwardly, "Ninth Prince, what are you doing?" He said in a low voice: "Nu Xi, I like you..." My heart suddenly went cold, why did I have to say it... I pretended not to hear, sat up, and said with a smile as if nothing had happened: "Ninth Prince, let's go." I was about to get up, but the Ninth Prince grabbed my wrist, making it impossible for me to break free. I looked at him and felt flustered, but I still joked with a smile on my face: "Ninth Prince, your body is really recovering, your strength is so great..." I kept chanting silently in my heart, I must follow my words... But he didn't, he said softly: "Nuxi, don't run away... I know you can understand..." I still smiled unnaturally: "Ninth Prince, what are you talking about... It's getting late, let's go." But he still didn't let go of his hand, and looked at me stubbornly and persistently. I felt a guilty conscience. In fact, I didn’t know when I gradually felt that the Ninth Prince treated me differently, but I kept pretending not to understand, because I couldn’t reciprocate the same response. I just fantasized that it might disappear on its own one day. Then this guilty conscience turned into a kind of anger from embarrassment, and I said sharply: "Ninth Prince, let me go!" I had never spoken to him in that tone, and I was surprised myself when it came out. It is conceivable that the Ninth Prince's expression at that time was surprised, unbelievable, and... injured. But at that time, I couldn't care so much anymore, I just wanted to escape, so I broke free suddenly, leaving him and ran away in a hurry. It was only later that I learned that the Empress Dowager had already started arranging a marriage for the Ninth Prince, so he must have been pushed into a hurry. I have been in a state of anxiety for the next few days, deliberately avoiding the Ninth Prince. Six days later, the Ninth Prince actually visited Xiao Ya Zhai in person. I wanted to find an excuse to refuse, but Tingyi said: "Just now the Ninth Prince said that he must see you." I hesitated before finally agreeing to see him. I asked the palace people to draw down the curtains and set up the screen. The palace people had never seen me treat the Ninth Prince like this. They were a little surprised, but finally did as I ordered. They were about to retreat sensibly, I stopped them and ordered: "You wait here." The palace people were a little embarrassed and at a loss. At this time, the Ninth Prince said: "You go out first, I have something to say to your lady." The palace people retreated one after another as if they were granted amnesty. I covered half of my face with a fan behind the screen, obviously not wanting to have a deep talk with him. He asked, "Nuxi, can you remove the screen?" I am silent. I thought he would retreat, but he walked around the screen and came to me. I looked at him in surprise, the Ninth Prince, who has always been polite, would not do this. But when I saw him clearly, I was too surprised to speak. He looked like someone who had suffered a serious illness, with sunken eye sockets and bloodshot eyes; his skin was rough and sallow, and a decadent beard grew out of his chin; what shocked me the most was that in just a few days, He seems to have lost weight visibly. I couldn't hold back my indifference any longer, and called out very sadly: "Ninth Prince..." His expression changed, and he said slowly: "Nuxi...I want to tell the queen mother...I want to marry you..." My heart hurts like being pricked by a needle, Ninth Prince, why do you have to pester me so hard? He's like this... he was the one who got hurt in the end. Long-term pain is worse than short-term pain, I became cruel, and my tone became cold again, "Ninth Prince, I don't like you." I spit out this sentence word by word, and each word is like a merciless sharp knife. Sure enough, his expression suddenly turned pale, and his lips trembled slightly. At that moment, I couldn't speak anymore, but I was afraid that I would be shaken, so I simply turned my face away and stopped looking at him. There was a long silence. He choked up and said: "But, Nu Xi, I have loved you for a long time..." My heart is sore, I don't know how to answer. "Do you already have someone you like..." I shook my head, it had nothing to do with that.Even if there is no King Quan Yu, I will not marry you. He laughed a few times in despair, a very sour smile. Then I heard the rubbing sound of his clothes when he got up, I turned my face and saw how thin and depressed his back was. "Ninth Prince!" I shouted out. He turned around suddenly, a glint of expectation flashed in his eyes. But what I said was: "Treat the lady of the Household Secretary's family well... I hope... you live happily..." The lady of the Hubu Shangshu family was called into the palace by the queen mother a few days ago. I was still wondering why she was called into the palace at this time.I had a few words with her, she was a woman with low eyebrows and a smile, and she would definitely become a virtuous and good wife.I hope she can bring the Ninth Prince happiness. The Ninth Prince's expression suddenly darkened, he shook his head, and whispered, "As long as Nu Xi lives happily..." Then he turned and left. I thought the pain would gradually be forgotten after it passed. I thought that the Ninth Prince could marry the lady of the Hubu Shangshu family, and gradually forget about me. That day the emperor got angry with the ninth prince because he refused the marriage. Angrily, the emperor threw the teacup on the table at the Ninth Prince who was kneeling below, and shouted: "I have already decided to send an envoy to propose marriage tomorrow, and this matter is not allowed to be mentioned again!" The Ninth Prince was expressionless and motionless. In the end, he just said "yes" and walked out silently. I secretly breathed a sigh of relief. I understood in my heart that the reason why I hoped so much for him to marry the lady of the Household Minister's family was because I wanted to reduce the guilt in my heart. But the next day, I didn't feel a trace of joyful atmosphere in the palace. I was wondering, but I saw Tingyi ran in and said to me out of breath: "Miss, miss, the Ninth Prince has just left his home!" Already!" I opened my eyes wide, my brain stopped working at this moment, what!What did she just say? Seeing my blank look, Tingyi thought I didn't hear clearly, and repeated again: "The Ninth Prince has escaped into Buddhism!" My eyes went dark, and my body suddenly limp on the ground. I murmured, "No, it's impossible, it's impossible..." The palace people frantically tried to help me up, but I couldn't stand up no matter what. Shanshan asked the palace people to step aside, knelt down, and gently wiped away a tear that fell from the corner of my eyes, "Miss, go and have a look..." My eyes were empty, and I just repeated in my mouth: "I don't see him, I don't see him... How can I have the face to see him..." I lay pale and motionless on the bed. It was raining outside, and the moist rain came in through the window, which made me shiver involuntarily. Today the Ninth Prince is leaving the palace to go to the Royal Temple Longen Temple. No matter how furious the empress dowager and the others are, what happened is irreversible. I didn't dare to send him off, I really couldn't face the inky-black dignifiedness of the Buddhist robe, and I was even more afraid that I would lose control of my emotions and reveal the reason why he became a monk... Few people know the reason why he became a monk, they just talked about being fascinated by ghosts. Tingyi served the meal and persuaded: "Miss, let's eat something." I shook my head, "I can't eat it." Tingyi said worriedly: "Miss, you haven't eaten for several days..." I sneered, but I missed a few meals, which was nothing compared to his pain. I shook my head at Tingyi, "Go back, I want to be alone for a while." Tingyi hesitated to speak, but finally retreated. At night, Shanshan reported to me: "Miss, I heard that the empress of Wanhe Palace fell ill..." I shuddered from the chaos and asked, "Is Yu Zhaorong sick?" Shanshan nodded. I dressed in a hurry, anxious in my heart, and strode towards the Wanhe Palace.The palace people behind almost trotted along. I'm already sorry for him, at least help him take good care of his concubine mother... When I arrived at the Wanhe Palace, I was the first to see Ping'er carrying the soup. When she saw me, she was the first to turn red. I stopped her from paying respects to me, and asked eagerly, "Is your majesty okay?" Ping'er choked up and said: "My lady refuses to take medicine...My lady finally hoped that the prince would become famous, but I didn't expect such a thing to happen again..." I grabbed Ping'er's shoulders and said, "Don't cry. The empress will rely on your service in the future, you must be strong first..." After listening to my words, Ping'er wiped away the tears on her face and nodded emphatically. After comforting the servant, I cheered up and stepped into Yu Zhaorong's room. Yu Zhaorong was lying on the bed with her eyes closed tightly, talking vaguely. I walked to her sick bed and called softly: "Your Majesty..." Yu Zhaorong heard my voice and suddenly opened her eyes to look at me. I could see the anger in her eyes. But the anger slowly faded away, and then tears filled her eyes. She howled loudly: "It's not your fault... how can I hate you..." I lowered my head and said guiltily, "It's me, I'm sorry..." Yu Zhaorong said nothing, just groped for something from the pillow, and handed it to me tremblingly. "Yu'er asked me to give it to you before leaving..." I took it, it was a blue and white brocade purse. That color is the same color as the clothes that the Ninth Prince often wears, and it is his favorite color. With trembling fingers, I opened the purse. It was a small strand of hair. That strand of hair was so soft, just like his fragile and vulnerable heart... There is also a small note, the handwriting is so familiar, only three words. don't hate you. don't hate you... The corners of my mouth kept twitching, and I couldn't control it any longer. I squatted down and covered my face, letting tears flow. Ninth Prince, even if there is no love between men and women for you, that brotherhood is still so important to me. Don't you understand... Why just abandon me like this. Why do you want to become a monk... When the Twelfth Prince saw me again, there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. I suddenly hated myself, sick of growing up. I am sick every day, and I can't cheer up to do anything. However, every time the emperor comes to Xiao Ya Zhai, I have to force myself to put on a happy smile. Hua Splash often does some clumsy things recently, I know she does this just to make me happy, but in the end I just pursed my lips and couldn't laugh. Shanshan brought up the food, I looked at the exquisite dishes in front of me, and remembered that the Ninth Prince can only eat dry and tasteless green vegetables and vegetarian food, suddenly lost my appetite, and put down the silver chopsticks. I looked around and found that the chess sets that were usually placed on the table for entertainment had already been removed. It must be Shanshan to avoid making me emotional. However, I don't know if there will be someone to play chess with him when he arrives in the monastery... Will he be lonely. Shanshan said at this time: "Miss, the servants will clean the house this afternoon, it may be messy... besides, the weather is fine today, why don't you go out to relax..." How could I not understand their thoughts, just nodded numbly. When I went out in the afternoon, I walked aimlessly around. When I stopped and looked up, I came to the hunting ground. 我一怔，随后一种浓郁的悲伤沉沉地压上心头。 一个月前他还在这里。 当初自己是不是做得错了……如果说得委婉些今日会不会就是另一种局面。 那个总是拿温柔目光凝视我的九皇子，那个总是冲我微笑的九皇子，那个连雪仗都不舍得和我打的九皇子，那个对我关怀备至的九皇子……那个人已经不在这里了啊。 头上的烈日灼灼地烤晒着我，而我自我惩罚般地站在草地上一动也不动。 我是多么可恨的人啊……偏偏总是会伤害身边的人。 我不知这样站了多久，只是感觉头昏脑涨起来，然后眼前一黑便失去了知觉。 模糊中感觉有甜甜的液体流进喉咙，我猛然警觉地睁开了眼。 眼前拿着汤匙的人明显一怔，继而咧了嘴笑了笑，转头冲后面说：“王子，她醒了。” 我一时还反应不过来，也顺着那人的目光看过去。 那身回纥装扮令人熟悉，原来竟是那个回纥王子。我再看眼前拿着汤匙的人，正是那天在一旁的仆人。 那仆人又盛了一勺要再喂我喝，我警惕地问：“这是什么？” 那仆人回答说：“是红糖水……这位小姐中了暑气，所以才会昏倒。幸好我家王子从那儿经过，一时间也不知道小姐住在何处便擅自先送到这里歇了歇。” 我嗤之以鼻，先前险些要掐死我的人还会救我？ 我也不顾那人送上来的糖水，径自起身下了床便大步地往外走。 我经过那个回纥王子时，他不带一丝感情的声音传来，“哦？就这样走了？对救命恩人连谢都不会说吗？这就是你们所谓的礼仪之邦待人之道么？” 我转过头，不可置信地看向他。 他也不看我，目光倒也平静。 我冷笑，谢么？倒也不难。 我冲门外叫道：“侍卫！” 我知道质子的宫殿里一定是有相当数量的侍卫的。 果不其然，我刚叫出口，便有两名侍卫赶了进来。他们大概也知道我是谁，很利落地在我面前跪下等令。 我口气严厉地喝道：“你们可知罪？” 他们面面相觑，显然不明所以，但是口上却说“卑职们有罪。” 我继续说：“你们不知道质子殿是不可以随意带进人的么？今日尚好是我，若是某个伪装的刺客如何？！伤了王子谁来负责，就是你们有十个脑袋也不够抵偿的！” 我虽然口上说是为了王子的安全，实指他们监视不周。 那两名侍卫方才如梦初醒，连连叩头讨饶。 我冷眼旁观，见差不多了，便道：“今日之事暂且饶过你们。不过你们日后可要好好保护王子安全，丝毫不能马虎。” 我故意把“保护”两字咬得极重，可不只是对跪在眼前的两名侍卫说的。 那两侍卫连忙信誓旦旦地发誓一定会忠于职守，好好“保护”王子的安全。 我满意地点了点头，回头意味深长地看着那个王子。 “够了么？”我露出一个妩媚至极的笑容。 他的脸色一下子变得煞白。 他身后奴仆脸上不禁露出一副愤愤然的神情，“你……” 他摆手示意，脸上又恢复常态，冷笑了一下说：“前些日子我刚听了农夫与蛇的故事，现在倒是能体会到农夫的悲哀了……” 我的脸不觉地一沉，是把我比作那条忘恩负义的蛇了吗？ 我辩解道：“是你平时做人太过凶狠……” 他挑了一下眉，“那小姐的态度就好了吗？” 我一时哑然，却并不想在这与他口舌，转身就要走。 可是还未走出几步，便又感觉一阵眩晕险些又要摔倒。 他本能地上前扶我，我突然听到自己胃部小声咕咕叫的声音。 我红了脸。想起这几天几乎没有吃下什么东西，原来自己终究是饿了啊。 怪不得会晕倒了。 我抬头偷偷地瞄他，希望他不要听到那尴尬的声音才好。 只见他面色沉稳，我吁了一口气，还好。 他引着我在椅子上坐下，得到他如此照顾，我突然感觉有些心虚。 他冲我笑了笑，向那奴仆吩咐道：“必勒格，去取些奶酪馍馍招待客人。” 我的脸愈发得红了，原来他还是听到了。那一刻我简直羞愧得抬不起头来。 不一会儿，那个叫必勒格的仆人就端了好些吃食上来。 王子解释说：“我吃不惯你们这儿的食物，所以在宫殿里也不曾储备些。只得委屈你尝尝我们那儿的食物了……” 我还好意思说什么呢？只能小声地说了谢谢。 我先是端起那杯马奶茶喝了一口，感觉味道怪异，实在很难下口。 但是我还是勉强着咽下去了。 我看到他盯着我，于是嘴上说：“很好喝。” 说着还要表示般再喝上一口，他却接过杯子放在一边，说：“我知道你喝不惯的，不用勉强了。再尝尝别的吧。” 但是无论奶酪、馍馍、油炸饼、棋旦子等都让我吃得不太习惯，最后总算找到风干的牛肉条还算得上好吃，我终于松了一口气，一心一意地吃起来。 我吃着吃着发现他正在一旁盯着我看，于是疑惑地停下了口，是不是自己的吃相太不雅观了？ 他浅笑，“没想到你乖巧时还算是耐看……” 我还来不及反应，他又马上说：“不过凶起来时就不敢恭维了。” 我又羞又恼，瞪了他一眼。 之后我们都默默地没有说话，让我颇觉尴尬，只得找些话题问：“你经常去猎场吗？” 他苦笑了一声，“我是不可以随意在宫中走动的，只有在猎场还尚算自由……不过今日经过小姐的'关照'，恐怕再去猎场也不那么随意了。” 我有些惭愧，但是嘴上却硬着不肯道歉。 我环视四周，发现这间宫殿虽谈不上破败，却远远及不上其他宫殿繁华，显得有些简陋了。 我看着眼前这位眼底掩饰不住落寞的异国王子，笑着摇了摇头。 虽贵为回纥未来国君，可是现在寄人篱下，却是连我这样的小女孩都可以随意欺辱的，真是有几分悲惨。 但是我却并不想说出任何安慰他的话。 自从九皇子的事情之后，我只是越发地觉得也许同情之于男子最是无用的吧。 我晚上回去时，善善她们都纷纷说我的神色看起来好了许多。 我半信半疑地抚着脸，真的么？许是有人当了出气筒吧。 她们晚饭聊天时说：“过几天宫中就该热闹了哪。” I asked why. 婷仪嚷嚷说：“三天后选中的秀女们就要进宫面圣了，小姐忘了么？” 我恍然，原来这些日子精神恍惚，竟忘了这般重要的事。 这件事情虽然说来与我并无多大关联，但是每当此后宫中的势力格局总或多或少会发生变化，却不能不引起我的重视。 夜晚又梦见了九皇子，看见他转身和我说再见，我拼命想去拦住他可是脚却粘在地上丝毫无法动弹，只能眼睁睁地看他离去…… 我在后面疾呼：“九皇子你去哪？” 九皇子回头，依然是温柔的笑容，他说：“去一个没有奴兮的地方……” 我喊道：“不是不恨我么？那为什么还要离开我？” 九皇子依然拿温柔的眼神看着我，“因为看见奴兮心会流血啊……” 我定眼一看，果然看见有汩汩鲜血从九皇子胸膛露出的心脏处流淌出来…… 我惊叫着起身，发现四周黑黑的，竟然是梦。 我从枕下摸出九皇子留下的荷包，将它贴在脸上，哭了。 因为生怕吵醒侍夜的善善，我不敢哭出声来，最后剩下的只是轻轻的抽泣。 九皇子，你就不问问我恨不恨你么…… 我恨你呀。 连赎罪的机会都不给我。