Chapter 14 Chapter Fourteen

When I was sold into Nangong Mansion by my father, I was only twelve years old. At that time, I didn't even have an official name, because I was the eldest daughter in my family, so my father and mother called me Da Nizi. Later, because my mother was seriously ill and the family had nothing, in order to treat my mother's illness, my father sold me out as a matter of course. Who made me a useless girl, not able to inherit the surname of my ancestors like my elder brother and younger brother.There were a lot of children in the family, and my father was numb to think about it, so he sold me without mercy.

The most pleasing thing I did for Dad in my life was that I sold it for a good price. The servant of Nangong Mansion bought me for ten taels of silver. At that time the market price was only four taels for a girl and seven taels for a boy, and the servant paid such a high price, no wonder Dad was so happy. Ten taels of silver, in addition to enough to see a doctor for my mother, the rest of the money may be able to buy an acre and a half of land. Dad was smiling when he was leaving, and it was the first time he spoke to me so tenderly: "They are a big family, you have to work hard when you get there, don't be sorry for so much money."

It turned out that the last thing I said to me turned out to be such a sentence. I was taken by the servants to meet the master and the eldest lady. The master is the Secretary of the court, and he is considered to be in a high position.The master is familiar with poetry and books, and has the demeanor of a Confucianist; the eldest lady is also from a famous family, knowledgeable, gentle and generous. The eldest lady looked me up and down, and nodded with satisfaction, "He is a clean child. My youngest daughter is fourteen years old this year, and she just needs a companion, so you can go and serve her."

After I kowtowed, I was taken by the woman in the mansion to meet the young lady. We arrived at the young lady's boudoir, but the nurse told the young lady to go play by the pond in the garden. Then I met the beautiful young lady for the first time, the one to whom I swore my allegiance for the rest of my life. When I first saw Miss, she was sitting by the water, tearing off the petals and throwing them one by one on the lake. The old lady took me up to greet the young lady, and the old lady introduced to the young lady that I was new to take care of her. The young lady stood up happily, and the petals shook all over the floor.

"Finally someone to play with me! I have wanted a maid of my age for a long time, and my mother did not miss the appointment!" She clasped her hands together and bouncing around me in a circle. "What's your name?" I cautiously replied: "Young maidservant." The young lady giggled, "Big girl?" I lowered my head even lower, but a deep sense of inferiority surged in my heart. The young lady laughed for a long time before realizing that her behavior might have hurt my self-esteem, so she hurriedly apologized to me solemnly. I am terrified, although I feel bad, but I dare not complain about Miss.

She condescended to apologize to me in such a way that I was momentarily at a loss as to what to do. She stretched out her hand and pulled me up personally, "I'm sorry, I was rude just now." Her hands are as soft as jade, but my hands have already become rough due to years of hard work. She smiled at me, "Da Nizi is not a name. Let me think about it, and I will definitely give you the best name." The lady really read the books for several days for this sentence, and finally one day she told me with satisfaction that she had chosen an incomparably good name for me.

She said in a serious manner: "There is an old saying: 'The essence of goodness is goodness for all, not only goodness'. From now on, you will be called goodness." I have served Miss for a long time, and I found that Miss is really kind and heartless. She doesn't put on airs as a young lady at all, and sometimes she is even secretly bullied by those snobbish servants, but she doesn't realize it, and maybe she doesn't care at all. That day I saw that her fan was missing the jade pendant, and asked her if she had lost it somewhere. She said that the nanny said her grandson was sick and had no money for treatment, so she gave the pendant to her to treat her grandson.

I was a little helpless, the monthly money that the nanny usually gets is quite a lot, plus the things that the eldest lady rewards from time to time and the things that the lady secretly takes from the lady, it adds up to a considerable fortune. She is also too heartless, cheating on the young lady's heart.The same is true for the young lady, you can't tell if such false words... The lady laughed off my complaints, and said, everyone has difficulties. Although she is two years older than me, she is still more like a child than me. In the end, I always protect her like a big sister.

She always smiled and said that this is very good, I just like being with Shanshan. I have nothing to do with her, but I can't always get annoyed with her. The lady is usually very gentle and kind to people, but the only time I saw the lady got angry was because of me. At that time, the nanny's husband lost a lot of money in gambling outside, so the nanny wanted to hit the young lady again.I couldn't see it, so I reprimanded her a few words. I didn't expect that she would hold a grudge against me from then on, and would often find me embarrassing. She even secretly put the lady's jade ornaments under my mattress and planted them on me.

Da Furen has always hated such crimes, she wanted to drive me out of Nangong Mansion in a fit of rage. The young lady changed her usual insignificant demeanor, and first begged the eldest lady to let me stay.The Da Furen said that such a person staying in the house will cause endless harm, and there is no room for a person like me.The lady firmly said that she believed in me, Shanshan would never steal anything. I was in tears when she said that. All people look down on me because of my low birth, and think that a person with a low status like me must have corrupt morals. Only the kind lady believes me.

The greatest happiness in life is being respected and trusted by others. Seeing that the eldest lady refused, she threatened that if she didn't stay, she would commit suicide by jumping into the river. But who would believe that the always delicate young lady would do such extreme behavior?Everyone laughed off the lady's threats. But the lady actually jumped. Only then did the family panic, and they had to pay double the price to buy me back to take care of the young lady. I looked at the lady who had a high fever due to falling into the water, tears fell down, "Miss, why do you... slaves are not worth it..." The young lady's lips were pale and her body was weak, but she shook her head and said with a smile, "You are not a slave...you are my best friend, you are kind...how can I be willing to let you leave me?" She held out her hand and clasped her hands tightly together. At that moment, I already swore that I would be the most loyal servant of the lady in my life, and I would never give up. The fate of the young lady began from that flower viewing feast. The emperor, who had just ascended the throne for two years, was full of vigor and suave. In April, the pear blossoms in the palace bloomed wildly and romantically for the first time, which was considered a good omen. The emperor specially invited ministers who were close to the powerful and powerful to bring their families into the palace to watch the pear blossoms that he was proud of. The master is naturally also invited, because the two sisters above the young lady have already left the cabinet, so it is natural for the eldest lady to take the young lady with her. All the ladies invited in the capital dressed up carefully for this flower banquet, hoping that they could stand out among the flowers blooming and win the favor of noble sons from prominent families. For a while, Luoyang paper was expensive for Beijing-China cloth and jewelry shops. I once asked the lady enthusiastically if she had any plans to wear something, but the lady responded flatly. She said that she was going to enjoy the pear blossoms, and she just wanted to dress decently so as not to embarrass her parents. That day, the lady wore a plain snow brocade dress, with flower petals and ancient vines embroidered with gold thread on the cuffs and hem, and she was covered with a sheer white gauze dress as thin as cicada's wings. She only inserted a jasper hairpin randomly, but it is still extremely charming in my opinion. I boarded the carriage and accompanied the lady, and the sedan chair drove to the palace with the carriage of the old lady. When I arrived at the palace, it was simply dazzling. The majestic and luxurious palace rooms, the noble and beautiful ladies holding fans, and the handsome princes of aristocratic families... make people sigh inwardly and feel overwhelmed. The young lady is not interested in these, she just watches the pear blossoms with great interest. Pear blossoms are Miss's favorite flower. I once asked her where did she like pear blossoms?She said that she likes its whiteness and translucency, and its Suzhen poignancy. The lady concentrated on watching the pear blossoms while walking. Turning around, the pear blossoms here seem to be more luxuriant, but there are few people. In fact, the drunken man's intention is not to drink, and pear blossom appreciation is just an excuse for socializing. The young lady liked it very much, she supported the tree trunk and couldn't help praising: "It's so beautiful." A gust of wind blew, pear petals fell from the young lady, the young lady lowered her eyes, her fair face seemed to be more crystal clear against the background of the pear blossoms, the blue hair on her cheeks was blowing gently in the wind, I was thinking , Miss is even more beautiful than pear blossoms. The sixteen-year-old lady is as beautiful as a fairy who does not eat fireworks. I was falling into my own reverie, but I saw that the young lady had already climbed up the tree with her loose robe stretched out. I exclaimed: "Miss?!" Miss, she made a shh gesture and winked mischievously at me. I ran under the tree and looked up at the lady, and asked in a low voice, "Miss, what are you doing here? This is the palace... If someone sees it, I will be in trouble..." While trying to stretch her arms, the young lady struggled to talk to me: "This branch of pear blossoms is the best, I want to pick it off..." I hurriedly reminded, "Miss, you can't pick the pear tree in the palace." "It's okay, I will secretly hide it in my sleeve robe, no one will find out..." I was even more anxious and coaxed her: "Miss, come down quickly!" But the young lady didn't listen to me, and just stretched out her hands hard to break off the pear branch that was covered with flowers. Only hearing the muffled sound of bang, the lady finally picked off the pear blossom. I covered my chest and secretly thanked myself, and hurriedly said, "Miss, come down quickly." But at this moment, a dignified voice came from behind: "Where did this flower thief come from?" We looked around and saw two men watching us not far away. A man was dressed luxuriously, embroidered with auspicious clouds and beasts kissing red and purple clothes, holding a folding fan in his hand, it was the person who asked the question just now; with us. Judging from their extravagant clothes, it was obvious that they must be the noble sons of which family, and their status was obviously extraordinary. At that time, we ignorantly thought that the emperor would always wear bright yellow dragon robes, but we didn't know that the emperor would sometimes wear robes of different colors depending on the occasion. I was terrified, knowing that I had caused a catastrophe; but the young lady replied provocatively: "I am not a flower thief, I was invited to enjoy the flowers." The man in purple clothes walked under the tree, looked up at the lady, and asked with a smile, "Which family is this lady from? She is very talented, and she can climb trees..." At this time, the noble young master behind him also came under the tree. The young lady blushed, and she also realized how indecent her behavior was, and she unconsciously covered her blushing face with a wide-sleeved robe in front of the two big men, looking very charming and cute. The two men smiled. The man in Zhu Ziyi continued: "Can I come down now?" Finally found a step for the young lady to go down, the young lady nodded slightly, got up and slowly stepped down on the branches of the tree. Climbing up a tree is easy but getting down from a tree is difficult. Perhaps because the young lady was in a trance with shock and shame, she accidentally stepped on the ground and was about to fall down. I exclaimed: "Miss!" The two aristocrats reached out to pick them up at the same time. Perhaps fate was decided at that moment. The lady fell into the arms of a man in light black clothes. He was the lady's later husband-in-law, Mr. General. Perhaps the emperor is destined to pass by the lady forever like the outstretched empty arms. The young lady fell into the arms of the man in light black, blushing. She struggled to escape, and she didn't even have time to pick up the pear blossoms that fell to the ground. She pulled me up and ran away in a hurry. Unexpectedly, the man in Zhu Ziyi chased after him. He put the pear blossom branch in front of the lady and looked at her. The young lady lowered her head and stretched out her slender hands to pick up the pear blossoms. I don't know if it was accidental or the man did it on purpose, but his hand lightly touched the young lady's fingertips. The lady was terrified and at a loss. The man in red purple clothes smiled playfully, and he said: "This lovely lady, we will meet again in the future." The man in the light black suit walked away gracefully, leaving the lady and me in a daze, not knowing why . On the way back home at night, the young lady warned me in every possible way in the sedan chair not to tell Mrs. Madam what happened today. Of course I won't say it stupidly, because a lady in her boudoir should not have any relationship with a man before she leaves the cabinet, not to mention that if something like this happened today, if it gets out, maybe it will be condemned by the world. But such an unusual thing happened today, and I couldn't help asking curiously: "Miss, what do you mean by the last words that the man in red purple clothes said?" "I don't know either, but there's no way I'll ever see him again." "why?" "I'm afraid..." The lady was still in shock, and when she said this, she almost shed tears in fear. Seeing the frightened look of the young lady, I consoled her: "No, if the young lady doesn't tell me, I won't tell, who would know." Originally, I thought that this matter would pass like this, but I didn't expect that two days later, there was a decree from the palace saying that the Empress Dowager specially invited the young lady to the palace to taste tea. The master and the eldest lady looked at each other in blank dismay, but they didn't dare to neglect to prepare the formal clothes for the young lady and send them to the palace. But the father-in-law who came from the palace did not lead us to the Queen Mother's Shou'an Palace, but took us to Liluo Pavilion. The father-in-law made a gesture of please, asking the lady to go in first. The young lady stepped on the threshold hesitantly. The people in the room were actually the two men I met a few days ago. The difference is that the man in red and purple clothes that day is now wearing a dragon robe dyed in yellow, while the other man is wearing a general and beast costume, looking at us calmly from the front. We immediately understood that that person was actually the emperor! I stayed there, and the young lady was more alert, she knelt down to pay respects to the emperor in a graceful manner: "My concubine Nangong pays respects to His Majesty the Emperor, long live, long live, long live, long live, long live, long live, His Majesty." I also hurriedly knelt down. The emperor called us up with a smile. The emperor then introduced us to the general next to him, that is, the man in the light ink brocade robe that day.It turns out that his name is Dan Yunshang, he is the eldest son of the great general of the dynasty, and he is currently a second lieutenant; he was also the emperor's companion when he was young, and the relationship between the two is unusual, and they are both monarchs and ministers as well as good friends. The emperor asked people to offer fresh melons and fruits, and told the lady not to be polite. The young lady was uneasy, she didn't know why the emperor asked her to come here, but she didn't dare to disobey, for fear of hurting the master and madam. During the banquet, most of the ladies were silent, and she didn't answer a word or two until the emperor asked her something. The emperor asked: "I don't know the lady's name?" The young lady was a little embarrassed, but she still replied in a low voice: "My concubine's name is Chu Yun." The emperor nodded, thinking about it while reading, "Chan Yun, Chu Yun, a good name." He repeated the name several times until the young lady's ears were so red that he realized what he had stopped, and looked at the blushing young lady with a hint of appreciation and joy. We didn't know why the emperor called the lady here, but after a while, the emperor invited us back again. After that, every few days the emperor would call the lady into the palace under the guise of the queen mother. The young lady always finds excuses to evade, but the master and the eldest lady don't know what's going on, they don't dare to disobey the Queen Mother's will, and always force the young lady to go. The emperor didn't necessarily have a lot of conversations with her when he called the lady over, but it seemed that as long as the lady could stay quietly by his side, he would already be very happy and energetic. Mr. Dan was also present most of the time, but he seldom spoke, and of course he talked less with Miss.But at some point, his eyes unconsciously turned around the young lady.When he saw the emperor and the young lady talking enthusiastically, his eyes occasionally flashed an imperceptible sense of loss. Ever since she was often called into the palace, the lady was exhausted, mentally and physically exhausted, and her spirit became very bad. That day, Lord Dan was ordered to send the young lady out of the palace, but on the way the young lady couldn't take it anymore and retched. I was at a loss for a while, and more importantly, it was indecent for a dignified daughter to vomit on the road, and if it spread, it would spread the word of indecent behavior. Fortunately, Mr. Tan stepped forward to block the young lady in time, and the young lady lay dying in his arms. The young lady said weakly: "Qu Yun is rude... Thank you, sir." Lord Dan didn't say a word, and after a long time he said: "Don't push yourself too hard." The lady was moved, and suddenly felt aggrieved. We sat on the sedan chair going home, and I asked the lady, "Both the emperor and General Dan are handsome, who does the lady like?" The young lady was silent, and it took a long time before she whispered: "I don't like anyone." She opened the curtain on the small window again, looked at the vermilion high palace wall on the long corridor, and said sadly: "How depressing it is here..." That day we were summoned to the palace to meet the emperor, and we met a very beautiful girl in the harem. When I saw her, she was folding a little mouse with a handkerchief, very cute. The young lady fell in love with her at first sight, and asked me if the two of them looked like sisters. I took a closer look and there are indeed some similarities. Later, when the emperor chatted with the lady, the lady mentioned the woman who was similar to her. He does not mean that. Then one day, the woman became prosperous and won thousands of favors from the emperor. She was later Si Xiurong. But when I saw her again, she had become graceful and rich, and she couldn't find the pure and lovely shadow before.That's why I couldn't recognize her for a while, until the young lady said that Si Xiurong was somewhat similar to the young lady, and I didn't think that she might be the girl who could fold little mice back then. But in the end I didn't mention this matter to the little lady. Since Si Xiurong doesn't care about Nian's past affection, why should I tell the past of my previous generation?Saying it would only increase the psychological burden on the little lady. The emperor specially asked the young lady to come over, but Mr. Dan was not there that day. The emperor pointed to the rows of coral jewels placed on the red cloth plate, and said that these were new tributes entering the palace.He asked the lady to choose which ones she liked. The lady shook her head and said she didn't need anything. The emperor was slightly disappointed. Then the emperor invited the young lady to go to Mei Xia Yuan to enjoy the flowers together, and the young lady had no choice but to obey. As he walked, the emperor stopped and looked at the lady. The lady looked up suspiciously. He smiled and pointed to the lady's bun, saying that there were petals falling on it. The lady stretched out her hand to pick it off, but she didn't want to be caught by the emperor at this moment. The lady was momentarily at a loss. "Your majesty, you can't... Please let go..." The young lady begged. The emperor did not let go, but looked at the young lady affectionately. The emperor's voice was low and hoarse, "I have endured it for a long time... Yunyun, the three thousand women in the entire harem are not as good as you..." The whole atmosphere became ambiguous because of the emperor's words. The emperor clamped the young lady's arm and bent down to kiss the young lady. We followers all lowered our heads in horror, not daring to look up. Suddenly I heard the emperor call out "Yun Yun", it turned out that the young lady had fainted. Miss is sick. Maybe being sick is what the young lady wishes for. Although her body is uncomfortable, her spirit is obviously relaxed a lot. The emperor's youthful vigor and his aggressive and domineering attitude made the young lady at a loss and at a loss as to what to do. The lady thought that as long as she kept complaining about her illness, the emperor would forget about herself after a long time. But no one thought that one month later, the emperor would go out of the palace and sneak into the mansion to visit the lady. It just so happened that the master and wife went out to invite the wedding banquet that day. I opened the door and was about to take away the medicine bowl that the young lady drank, when the emperor suddenly barged in. He was only wearing an ordinary blue cloth dress, and no one knew how he sneaked into the mansion. Before the young lady had time to get up to greet her, she was embraced by the emperor. "I miss you so much." He buried himself in the lady's hair and said affectionately. The young lady was terrified and wanted to push the emperor away, but was hugged even tighter by the emperor. "Your Majesty, don't, let go of the concubine..." The emperor picked up a strand of hair from the lady's ear, and kissed lovingly: "Marry me, and be my concubine. If you don't come these few days, my mind is full of your shadow...you are my concubine." This is the first time I love someone like this..." Miss was trembling weakly in his arms like a fawn that had been hit by a shock. I stepped forward to dissuade him: "Your Majesty, please let go of Miss..." But the emperor pushed me to the ground with a wave of his hand, and shouted roughly: "Stand back!" My forehead hit the ground, bleeding out. I struggled to get up, and then tried to pull the lady out. The emperor was annoyed, he temporarily let go of Miss, grabbed me, and pushed me out of the door at once. Then the door slammed shut. No matter how much I beat and wailed, the door never opened again. "Miss, miss! Your Majesty, please let me go..." I kept banging on the door and begging. The young lady's weak begging sound came from the room, "Your Majesty, please, don't..." About half an hour later, the door creaked open. I saw the emperor who was fully dressed, he glanced at me, and said: "Take good care of your lady, tomorrow I will send someone to formally take her into the palace." I rushed into the house, and saw the young lady buried her head in the embroidered pillow and wept endlessly. The half-naked shoulders exposed in the messy clothes made people shocked... The next day, the Queen Mother's order was delivered to the mansion early. Yizhi said: The third daughter of the Nangong family is docile in nature, teaches etiquette, and has a good reputation... I specially marry Yu Dan, the eldest son of General Dan, the second lieutenant Dan Yunshang... I almost doubted whether the eunuch read it wrong, shouldn't it be the emperor? The master and everyone in the house solemnly thank you. I plucked up the courage to ask: "Boldly ask my father-in-law, what does the empress dowager mean to betroth the young lady to Second Lieutenant Dan?" The serving father-in-law replied arrogantly: "Yes, didn't you hear Yi's order just now?" I looked at the lady, who was still in a daze. I was secretly worried, since the young lady had already lost her dignity to the emperor, how could she marry another husband? The emperor clearly said yesterday that he would take the young lady into the palace, but there is still no news... The Queen Mother's order must never be disobeyed. I can only comfort myself, even though Miss is no longer a virgin, Mrs. Dan can only suffer from boredom and dare not speak out... Because according to the Empress Dowager's order, the marriage will be completed in three days, the Nangong Mansion was in a hurry. It was later found out from the palace that it was the Queen Mother's other biological son, King Linzi, who never forgot after seeing the lady by chance, so there was a farce of two brothers competing for a woman. Speaking of Prince Linzi, he is a hard-working prince. He is the eldest son of the Empress Dowager, that is, the eldest son of Dayin, who was supposed to inherit the Datong, but Linzi King was weak and sick since he was a child, and he had no children when he was thirty.So out of the consideration of the imperial lineage along the veins, he chose his younger brother, who is now the emperor, to succeed him as the emperor. The queen mother has always felt guilty towards the king of Linzi, so she usually takes extra care of her. But the emperor's intention to accept Miss as a concubine this time is unusually firm. After all, he is the supreme emperor, and the queen mother has to be scruples about his wishes. The Queen Mother was in a dilemma, and finally came up with such a compromise in order to prevent the two brothers from turning against each other. Then why did the queen mother want to betroth the young lady to Mrs. Dan who already has a main wife? Because the queen mother knew her youngest son so well, in order to prevent the emperor from thinking about the young lady after marriage, she specially married the young lady to the emperor's best friend.On the one hand, the fact that a friend's wife should not play will make the emperor fearful, and on the other hand, as a concubine, the young lady will not be able to participate in the palace banquet in the future. This will completely cut off any chance for her to meet the emperor. It can be said to kill two birds with one stone. But it was later proved that the Queen Mother had made a big mistake in this matter. No one would have imagined that the king of Linzi was so infatuated with the young lady. Hearing that the young lady married someone else, he fell ill for a while, and died within a few months. The emperor was also in pain, especially after the young lady died prematurely, which made the emperor feel a lot of dissatisfaction with his own mother. So the queen mother always said that the young lady "divided the relationship between their mother and child", and it was really unfair to impose such a kind of anger on the young lady for no reason.Of course, that is already a story. The Empress Dowager also knew that she had really wronged her by letting the young lady be her concubine, so she gave a lot of gold, silver and jewelry as a dowry, and even promoted the young lady's direct brother to the palace as a walker. After all, the marriage was bestowed by the Empress Dowager, and the object was from a noble family, so the old master had nothing to say if he didn't know about it. As Miss's dowry maid, I will live in the General's Mansion together with Miss. On the day when the young lady got into the sedan chair, the master was still quite calm, but the eldest lady burst into tears and was very reluctant to give up. To my surprise, the young lady was just quiet, neither happy nor sad. I used to admire the young lady's strength, but later I found out that the reason why the young lady was so calm was that she didn't fully understand the meaning of marriage at that time. With the beating of gongs and drums, the sedan chair was sent to the General's Mansion. Lord Dan came out to meet the bride himself. The adults looked at the beautiful bride with deep and complicated eyes, but more of joy. The adult is tall and tall, with a dignified appearance, calm and wise, and he is gentle and martial. He is indeed a dragon among men, young and promising.If it weren't for the fact that we already have a main room, we would be a match made in heaven with the young lady, a talented and beautiful couple, an enviable couple. We saw the adults personally carrying the young lady into the bridal chamber. We withdrew wisely. The candles were extinguished in the bridal chamber. When I went in to serve the next day, I found that the adults had already left. Only the young lady was sitting in front of the desk writing something with tears in her eyes. I stepped forward curiously and saw that it was something like "My daughter is being bullied here, mother will take her back quickly". I couldn't help laughing, and snatched the letter from the lady, so that the lady didn't send this ridiculous letter. I inquired a bit, and only then did I understand that the lady did not consummate the room with the adults last night, and the lady actually drove the groom out of the door on the first night of their wedding. I asked the lady why she was bullied? The young lady hesitated at first and didn't want to say anything, until I asked urgently, then she covered her burning face and said that he was like the emperor last night, he actually wanted to take off her clothes, such an indecent thing... In desperation, I had to explain to the lady over and over again that it is normal and necessary for husband and wife to do this... The young lady shook her head desperately and refused to listen to my explanation, and then on the third day, she had sex with the adults amidst my half-coaxing and half-threatening words. What surprised me the most was that I found the shocking blood on the bed the next day. Didn't the emperor have that day? Later I asked the lady, and the lady said that the emperor stopped at the most critical moment...then just hugged her quietly.The emperor said that he would give her an official title first... But she didn't understand anything at the time, thinking that a man and a woman who had been stripped naked had lost their virginity. If I used to think that the emperor's pursuit of the young lady was just to satisfy his desire to seek beauty, then now I firmly believe that the emperor really loved the young lady. That holy majesty who has everything and usually just waits for a woman to take the initiative to take her into his arms, actually thinks so much about the lady, it's really beyond my expectation. But everything has gone wrong, and it doesn't make sense to say anything now. After the young lady performed the conjugal ceremony with the lord, she seemed to be a little annoyed at him, and actually hid the lord for a long time. Always uneasy in front of him, always accidentally dropped bamboo chopsticks or smashed porcelain bowls when eating with him, and then secretly glanced at his face; I didn't respond several times; even if I accidentally met an adult at the house, I immediately hid behind me and didn't dare to look at him... The adult is also unexpectedly good-tempered, he doesn't force the lady, but he brings some new gadgets every day to make the lady happy. He also deliberately planted many pear trees in front of the lady's courtyard, and put a swing for the childish lady to play. It rained heavily that night, with lightning and thunder. The adults knew that the young lady was afraid of thunder, so he went to inquire about it. He knocked on the door and asked, "Are you asleep, Ju Yun?" The young lady nestled in the brocade quilt, too scared to fall asleep, but she neither opened the door nor answered. There was a chuckle from an adult outside the door, "I know you're not asleep." Suddenly a flash of lightning struck, illuminating the room brightly, followed by thunderstorms. The lady let out a cry of fear. The adult was anxious outside the door, and he knocked on the door again, but the lady still ignored him, so he sat directly outside the door and said to the back room: "Yun Yun, I know you are very scared. You don't let me get close to you, I I won't force you. I'll just sit outside the door and protect you, okay?" The lady raised her head from the quilt, and I could see how scared she was from her pale face. She hesitated for a moment, finally got up from the bed, and walked to the door with her bare feet. She still didn't open the door, but she sat down inside facing the adults. Speechless all night, they were only separated by a door, and the lady fell asleep peacefully for the first time in a thunderstorm day. It took a long time for the young lady to gradually stop rejecting the love between men and women, but the young lady has always been a little indifferent to this matter. Since the young lady got married, my lord seldom went to the main room. The young lady was very upset, and often said that she was not feeling well, and pushed the adults to the wife of the main house. But even so, the wife of the main house still has a grudge against the young lady, and she speaks sarcasticly. And adults are often turned away by the young lady, with a gloomy look on their faces. He once asked me in frustration: "What does she like? Nothing seems to please her..." Then he sighed, "She is a woman who doesn't know how to love..." Maybe the lady really doesn't understand what love is. If not, then why didn't such two outstanding men move her even a little bit? Ever since I served the young lady, I found that she never seemed to have any special desires, she was never picky about food, clothing, dolls, and never seemed to be annoyed when she was bullied. it doesn't matter... She is like a porcelain doll, pure white and flawless, incomparably beautiful, but always indifferent, as if she has no heart. But when did this porcelain doll start to feel excited? At that time, my lord had inherited his father's official position and was a general. The wife of the main house just gave birth to a daughter for the general, who is the eldest daughter of the general, and the general can't put it down. The general had hoped that Miss would have children for him, but there was no news for a long time. The general had to leave for a month because he was going to inspect the garrison. Before leaving, he had a night of love with the young lady before leaving reluctantly. I was pleasantly surprised to find that when the general was not around, a trace of loneliness flashed across Miss's brows. She was absent-minded, and sometimes unconsciously asked the general several times a day when he would be back. She also kept talking about whether the general ate well and slept well in the army. I laughed at her knowing that she missed her husband, but the lady didn't refute but blushed. It turns out that it's not that she didn't notice the gentleness and love of Mr. General for several years. It's not that she is not touched, she is not moved, but she is ashamed to express... The days passed while we were looking forward to when the general will return. That day a father-in-law came to the palace and delivered a letter from the emperor to the lady. In fact, since the young lady came out of the cabinet, the emperor often secretly sent envoys to send letters, but the young lady rejected them all. But this time, the father-in-law insisted on letting us accept the letter. He said that if the young lady didn't accept him, it would be difficult for him to return home, and he might be beaten up... He said it pitifully, and even cried bitterly. The father-in-law's words really touched people's hearts, and the young lady was always soft-hearted. Seeing that the letter was just an ordinary greeting, she hesitated to accept it. After the young lady accepted it, she didn't open the dark yellow dragon-patterned incense paper letterhead to read again, she just threw it there casually. A month later, the general came back excitedly, and the first thing he went to was of course the young lady's room. The young lady served tea for him. She was very happy in her heart but still had a faint look on her face. The general took her hand and asked her if she had thought about him these days. The young lady answered irrelevantly, saying that she spends her days by needlework and painting. In fact, if the general was more careful, he could see the young lady's tender red expression, but he was a careless sergeant, and he just thought that the young lady's words meant that she never missed him, which made him very disappointed. The general was talking to the young lady, when a servant girl from the big room came over and said that Mrs. Zheng asked him to come over and have something important to explain to him. The general left reluctantly, but confessed that he would come back at night. But the general didn't come over at night, and later he sent someone to inquire and found out that the general had already lived in his room. I faintly have a bad premonition. If it is normal, if there is something that I can't come over, I should send someone to tell me. The second day, the third day... For nearly ten days, the general ignored the young lady. I kept thinking that something was wrong, and suddenly remembered the letter sent by the emperor. I hurriedly asked the lady where she put the letter, and the lady said vaguely that she didn't care at all and forgot. I searched all over the house, but still couldn't find the letter. I screamed inwardly, it's bad, it's too bad, this letter was stolen by Mrs. Zheng and handed over to the General! I told the young lady about this, and the young lady said indifferently that the letter was nothing to worry about anyway, even if the general knew about it, he probably wouldn't care about it. I was secretly anxious, silly lady, you don't understand men too much!How could they allow their beloved woman to have contact with other men... Besides, after the wife of the main house said this matter, it might be rendered into something. But since the general didn't mention this matter, we don't want to explain it bluntly here, so we can only wait for the right time for the general to relax. Then the opportunity finally came. One month later, the lady actually had a pregnancy reaction, which means that the lady is pregnant! 将军大人这才过来一趟，眉宇间掩饰不住喜色，我万幸地想也许这个孩子能弥补他们之间不必要的隔膜吧。 小姐怀孕期间将军大人照料得无微不至，他们伉俪情深，那封信的阴影好像也随着这件天大的喜事而烟消云散。 可是小小姐却偏偏晚了近十天出生。 晚产的事本来不足为奇，也多有发生。可是在这个节骨眼上那几天却是至关重要的。 十天以后……正巧推到将军大人不在府上的时候…… 正房夫人趁此添油加醋，说隐约好似看见有男子出入小姐的房中。 将军大人狠狠地按住还在床上养月子的小姐娇折的手臂，问：“说！这个孩子是谁的？！” 从来没有人这样对小姐严厉过，小姐也不曾见过将军大人这样一副凶狠的脸，她吓坏了，她说不出话，只一味哭泣。 我上前劝说：“大人，小小姐当然是您的骨血……您怎么可以听信别人的一面之词啊……” 将军大人还是拿质疑的眼光盯着小姐，半晌，才冷冷地放开小姐的手臂。 小姐瘦弱的身子瑟瑟发抖。 十几天后，小小姐可以睁开眼睛了。 令人大吃一惊的是，小小姐的眼眸竟带有银色，对于这样异常的现象小姐万分忧虑不知是福是祸。 那时多流行婴儿出生时请先生来算命，我就劝小姐何不也找来一位算命先生预测凶吉。 小姐答应了。 我亲自去到卜馆请了那儿的先生，据说他算的命一向很准，而且只给达官贵人算命。 小姐隔着珠帘把小小姐的生辰八字向算命先生一说，算命先生低吟，继而提出能否看看小小姐有观相貌。 小姐请算命先生来到育房，小小姐那时正在摇篮里沉沉地睡着。 那先生上前一看，脸色大变，立刻诚惶诚恐地向睡梦中的小小姐恭敬地三磕头。 我和小姐面面相觑。 我拉起先生，问他怎么了？有什么不对的地方吗？ 那先生在我们的百般询问下，只冒出了一句“贵不可言”便不再多语起身要走。 我强拉住他，问他说这话是什么意思。 他只是摇头不语，说既然已经贵不可言还有什么可说的。 他逃也似的离开，连赏钱也没要。可是他走了几步又退回来，迟疑地说出口：“小的有句中肯的话要对夫人讲。府上千金面相富贵且贵气逼人……这等平庶之地恐容不下她，夫人最好想办法把她送进宫中去……否则……” 他骤然停止。 我着急，喝问他：“你说话怎么总是半清不楚的？否则什么？” 他略有为难，可还是说出了口：“否则夫人和将军可能寿命有折，无法正寝……” 我和小姐震惊，这先生可是疯了？说出这样耸人听闻的话。 “夫人好自为之。在下告退。”说着那算命先生摇着头离开。 小姐就是在这天给小姐起名叫“奴兮”的。 她说宁可信其有，不可信其无。她并不奢望小小姐是否多富贵，她只是希望她能平平安安的以后找个相当的人家安稳地过好自己的一生。 起这样的名字希望能杀杀她命中的贵气。 本来那算命先生的疯言疯语也就到此为止了，但是没想到路过的将军大人听到了一切。 他对所听到的理解是，小小姐乃皇上龙种，贵不可言，皇家血脉不应该下住臣家，应当把小小姐速速送进宫中，和她的父皇团聚，否则龙颜大怒，会牵连到将军和夫人…… 其实也不怪将军大人想偏，若不是皇帝的亲身女儿，何必非要送进宫中？ 一向自信总有一天能收服小姐之心的将军大人从没想到自己竟受到了这种耻辱，他可以容忍小姐任性可以容忍小姐冷淡可以容忍她不喜欢和他欢爱，可是惟独容不下的是——背叛。 也许世上的任何男子都无法容忍他的女人对他的背叛，何况将军大人一向又是那样的春风得意，多少女人主动投怀送抱，可他偏偏载到了那个无心的小姐身上。 也许她的情夫只是个普通人，他会毫不犹豫地和他决斗，像英雄那样把小姐抢回来征服她。 可是那人是至高无上的皇帝，他什么也不能说什么也不能做，只能眼睁睁地看着他们苟且在一起。 Burning with anger. 如果将军大人知道小姐实际上是心仪他的，他也会相信小姐，也会对自己有几分自信；但是他不知道，他以为小姐自从新婚起对他冷淡是因为小姐早已心许风流倜傥的皇帝…… 爱之愈深，恨之愈深。 将军大人无数次苦闷地问自己，自己已经对她已经那样的好……为什么还是得不到她的心，为什么要背叛他。 刚开始只是冷淡。 可是皇上似乎对小姐的生产异常关心，宫中时不时有丰厚的赏赐送出来。 将军大人冷眼旁观。 那天难得将军大人去小姐房里，竟从小姐的枕下发现了明黄色龙纹镶玉腰带。 这样贴身的饰品让将军大人再也控制不住，他第一次失手打了小姐。 “贱人！”他这样骂小姐。 小姐拼命解释，说根本不知道这个是哪来的，可是将军大人已经不再相信小姐了。 证据确凿，有这样奢华东西的人除了皇上别无他人。 我怀疑是正房夫人所为，可是令我百思不得其解的是正房夫人如何获得这样宫中之物。这件事直到后来才被小小姐揭开谜底。 有了第一次接着就会有第二次。 轻则冷言冷语，重则毒打一顿。 他甚至还会揪起小姐的长发向地上磕去，次日，小姐的青丝一缕缕地凋落…… 小姐常常是青肿着嘴角忍着浑身的疼痛给小姐哺乳。 将军大人对小小姐自然也不会好，看也不看一眼，甚至是小小姐平日的婴儿用度也缩减下来。 小姐却就是在那一刻真正长大的。 她学会了利用她最后仅存的威仪呵斥那些趋炎附势的奴才为小小姐争取食物衣物和汤药…… 她忽然间变成了一位真正的母亲，竭尽心力地保护自己的小兽。 每次将军大人到她的屋里，她总是让我带着小小姐出去，她不愿意让小小姐看见他们的争吵，她不愿小小姐受到哪怕是一丝的伤害。 可是那天趁着我不注意时，小小姐自己先回来了。 她兴致勃勃地跨进门槛，欢快地喊着：“娘亲，快看看奴兮为你采的花儿！” 然后她看见将军撕扯着小姐的头发。 花儿坠落在地。 当我赶回时，一切已经晚了。小小姐睁大眼睛看着出现在面前的一切。 小姐第一次发出那种凄厉的声音，“善善，带她走！求你……别让她看见……别让她看见啊……” 小小姐那一瞬间呆滞在那里。 将军大人对小姐的报复变本加厉。 他相继娶了三房四房，偏偏又把她们安排在小姐庭院附近。 每晚传来男女淫荡呻吟声让小姐的眼泪浸湿枕被…… 将军大人变得经常酗酒，他常常带着一身醉气闯进小姐房里对小姐施虐。 将军大人最后一个宠爱的人是我。 他喝醉了酒，然后强暴了我。 一夜风流，他倒身昏昏欲睡。 我裸着身子在月光中哭泣。 我知道，他从未对我动过真情，不过是想借此报复小姐罢了…… 我背叛了发誓效忠的小姐，我想割腕自杀，可是却被小姐发现了。 她拉着我的手枕在她的脸上，一滴滴清泪落下。 “善善，我不怨你，不是你的错。可是你不也喜欢大人吗……这样就好了……我去请大人给你个名份……” 我惊恐地望着小姐，一向迟钝的她何时看透了我的心思……我从来没有表现出来过。 但是小姐不懂我真正的心意。 虽然将军大人是我仰慕的男子，但是在我的内心深处，小姐才是至高无上的。 父母给了我生命，可是只有她才给了我尊严与亲情。 尽管将军大人后来又多有纠缠，可是我并不想充当他复仇的工具，何况那对象又是我最挚爱的小姐。 最后我甚至以死相逼，将军大人这才退却作罢。 那一夜是我终身痛苦的回忆，我不知道在这个并不爱我的男人身下承欢是何种感觉，我爱他，可他心中无我，而他这么做无非是想让我忠于的小姐更加痛苦…… 所以当小小姐问我为什么不为将军大人哭时，那一刻，我觉得小小姐真是残忍。 大房夫人对小姐的失宠甚是得意，没有了将军大人的庇护，她开始丧心病狂地报复发泄之前的怨恨。 明明小姐病得起不了床，她还训诫小姐每日到她房里请安。 病恹恹的小姐强撑着只是去得晚一些，她便破口大骂，叫小姐跪下。 然后她上前狠狠地踩上小姐伏在地上的纤手…… 小姐病在床榻上已经奄奄一息了。 小小姐可能凭着孩童特有的敏感，隐约感觉到自己的娘亲可能发生了什么不好的事情，于是她总是粘着小姐，片刻也不敢离开小姐病榻前，她说她怕她一离开娘亲就会不翼而飞……她总是天真浪漫地叫着娘亲，可是却一口爹爹也叫不出来。 将军大人对她更是厌恶，说她是孽种。 其实若是将军大人能静下心来好好地看看小小姐，他会发现小小姐那英挺的鼻子和倔强的嘴角简直和他是一个模子刻出来的，但是他那时已经迷了心智，固执地认为小小姐不是他所出。 将军大人对重病中的小姐不闻不问，且不让府里请郎中为小姐诊治。 南宫府上要把小姐接回府去，可是将军大人死不放人，嫁出去的女儿泼出去的水，夫君不放老爷夫人真真毫无办法。 最后还是宫里的皇上听闻了消息，心急如焚，忙派了宫中最好的太医张端大人医治。 可是无奈已经太晚了，小姐最终香殒魂断。 小姐临死前，皇上再也不顾一切地过来看望小姐。 他看着小姐消瘦苍白的脸庞，眼圈红了起来。 他拉起小姐纤柔的手，放在他的脸上无限爱怜地摩挲着。 小姐最后的话是对皇上说的，她气若游丝，声细如蚊。 她临死前说的一番话让在场的人无不落泪。 小姐看着皇上，虚弱地说：“皇上……我恨您……天下那么多女人为什么偏偏是我……” 皇上一震，那个至高无上的人终于抑制不住落下眼泪。 “韵韵，是朕对不起你……” 小姐闭了一下眼睛，又费力地睁开，“可是我依然要拜托您……我的女儿……她的生身父亲不喜欢她，我只能求您用那宽大的袖袍庇佑她……答应我……” 说完这话小姐的手掉落下来……让皇上好生照顾小小姐竟成了小姐的终身遗言。 皇上绝望地大声呼唤“韵韵”，可是小姐再也听不见了。 死时小姐的神情是平静的，仿佛她还在呼吸只是在沉睡，她的面孔依然是小时候那样年轻那样纯洁那样美丽绝伦…… 小姐死时，庭外的梨花绝望地大片大片毫无节制地开放，仿佛要用尽一生的生命在此刻灿烂。 整个世界都是那种纷扬的纯白，摄人心魄。 七岁的小小姐睁着惊恐的大眼睛，看着眼前白茫茫的一片。 许是小姐死时那种强烈的白刺激到了小小姐，至此小小姐一生不穿白衣。 小姐死后，将军的灵魂仿佛也随小姐而去。 他更加少言寡语，他不再宠爱任何女人。 本来当初这一切就是让那个人看的，现在那个人已经不在了，他做这些还有什么意义…… 一年后，将军主动请缨，平定回纥。 后来前线传来将军战死的消息。 有知情的将士回来说将军完全没有必要亲自迎战杀敌，他甚至没有穿着盔甲就拿着大刀冲进敌阵……将军大人的那一刻疯狂得简直就像……自杀…… 但是最终那句“自杀”没有从那个将士的口中说出。 “自杀”这个词太过辱没那个能征善战英勇无比的令他们尊重的大将军，他们宁可相信他是光荣战死。 没有小姐没有大人的将军府无比荒凉，成天有数不尽的乌鸦到这儿来撕心扯肺地哀叫……正房夫人也每日躲在房中不出……原来她并不是这片庭院真正的女主人，小姐走了，也把一切都带走了。 之后小小姐被皇上接进宫，皇上对小小姐的宠爱无以复加。 小小姐在宫中生活得如鱼得水，我也终于懂得了那个算命先生所说的话的意义。 贵不可言。