Chapter 121 first quarter

Am I really old? From a child with a yellow mouth to frost on the temples, it seems like a flash.Before I had time to think about it during this period, I saw that the curtain of life was slowly being drawn.I desperately grabbed the corner of the curtain: please give me a little more time!Don't get me wrong, I'm not a coward.I just wish my curtains would come down a little slower, a little slower, because I'm rushing through the world without turning back to think, to look back, and it would make me feel uneasy in another country, as if the show had gone on Half of the drama will leave eternal regrets for everyone—the actors and the audience.The pace of life is slowing down, I don't know if I will still have time...

I had a proud childhood. "Learn the wind in the valley, and use the shade to rain. Striders are united, and there should be no anger.  …" "Fire flows in July, and clothes are given in September. In spring, there are sun, and there are singing birds.  …" "Plucking weeds and picking weeds, wei also stops. Every day returns, and there is no end to years...." Later, I stayed away from poetry and entered a famous university to study a certain doctrine.At that time, like most young people, I maintained considerable enthusiasm for "ism".Until one day, I found myself useless. "Doctrine" was put on the shelf, and I sat in the office every day, with a cup of tea and a newspaper, and spent my youth in confusion.I'm irritable, I'm terrified, and I need to do something.At this time, my childhood partner broke into my life again—she turned out to be the daughter of the leader of this enterprise.I resolutely walked out of that gloomy office building, embracing my "ism".She followed me without hesitation.If it weren't for some things that happened later, I think I would have fallen in love with her.I was like a homeless person, and she was there for me when I needed help the most.When I suddenly found my true love one day - another simple, beautiful girl, it was too late, and I could only be responsible to my childhood partner who followed me forever.She later became my wife.

What a burden!This responsibility reminds me all the time, love or betrayal, I no longer have this right.I am forever separated from my love, I am forever separated from my heart.I am busy, I escape, I am anesthetized, I have nothing in mind; I confide, I chase, I punish myself, and my soul rushes to the ideal paradise. Sooner or later the burden of responsibility has to be lifted, and everything ends, dies.It's time, all disputes, grievances, love and hatred, interests, what I owe the world and what the world owes me... Luo Yang wrote in a thick black plastic leather notebook.His thoughts continued with the increasing volume of the journal.A person's thoughts are elusive and difficult to retain, and he hopes to let them exist in the form of writing.

Suddenly, Luo Yang was disturbed by a knock on the door.He stopped writing, opened the door, and it was Peach.