Chapter 59 second quarter

Leng Yueruoxue is a beautiful woman, but she is really not young anymore. Leng Yueruoxue, who is no longer young, looks more elegant than when she was young.She often leans against the window, puffing out clouds of smoke with a cigarette in her mouth, meditating.She smokes heavily and sometimes drinks a little white wine.It is said that it is the need of creation, and she wants to find inspiration for poetry from the intoxication of tobacco and alcohol.Therefore, her smoking and drinking is not a show of ordinary decadent and low-key women, nor is she trying to describe her inner confusion arbitrarily, but as a unique temperament, a sign and a posture of an artist, which is popular among her friends and readers. widely accepted.If one day the poetess Leng Yueruoxue neither smokes nor drinks, that would be quite unexpected.

Leng Yueruoxue was not called Leng Yueruoxue before she became a famous poet, she was called Ma Xiaoyan. More than ten years ago, after Ma Xiaoyan graduated from a normal school in the west, she was assigned to a middle school Chinese teacher in a town not far from Shacheng.At that time, various school-running fads had just taken off in the western region, and remedial classes for English, calligraphy and painting, and musical instruments for primary and middle school students sprung up near the school.In Ma Xiaoyan's school, even the most incompetent mathematics, science, and chemistry teachers can use the holidays to accept a few closed students to earn labor fees, but a Chinese teacher like her can't do anything about it.Regardless of the top students or the poor students in the school, they have no extra enthusiasm for learning Chinese. Even if some children even have a half-knowledge of their mother tongue such as Chinese, they are sent to special classes by parents who hope their children will become successful. Stupidly learning a second language and even a third language.This is a trend, just like influenza. Some parents know that catching up with the trend may encounter a virus, but they still rush to it, for fear that their children will be blocked from the trend, and a large number of people will be infected in the end.Under the coercion and lure of their parents, the students are busy, and the teachers are enriching themselves, and at the same time, their lives are also nourished.The trend has thus created a huge economy in the education industry.Chinese teacher Ma Xiaoyan does not belong to this economy, and she suddenly feels left out.This is not just a matter of money, but she has already experienced the heat of that trend, so how can she just sit back and wait for death?Taking advantage of the residual heat of this trend, she submitted her resignation report to the school without even thinking about hesitation, bought out her only five-year teaching experience, and used the 10,000 yuan she earned to go into business.Going to sea was another trend at the time.Ma Xiaoyan thought that since the most intuitive value of life cannot be realized through the education career she loves, doing business is an effective way to lead a prosperous life and lead to the ideal.isn't it?In the eyes of many people, whether a person is successful and realizes the value of life is often measured by his living conditions or the amount of money.Ma Xiaoyan, who resigned and went to sea, deeply realized this.

However, this is not the main reason why Ma Xiaoyan left school.Not long after she went to work in that township middle school, she fell into an entangled relationship with a married man due to various opportunities.She regards that unclear relationship as love and her own destination, and she is willing to make sacrifices for it.After all, he is a married man, and his reputation in school is not bad, so everything can only be done in secret.Ma Xiaoyan felt that she had given what she should have given, and her secret love had lasted for four years, and finally it was nothing.How many good years can a woman have for such unnecessary consumption?Ma Xiaoyan, who came to her senses, reined in the precipice and made a decisive decision. She left school because she wanted to bid farewell to the past and start over.

The outside world is wonderful, everything is brand new, but that wonderful new world does not seem to be suitable for Ma Xiaoyan.She has been tossing around in the business world for a few years, earning money and losing money, losing money and losing money, and all she has learned is a lot of lessons.For a beautiful woman, her lesson was painful, so painful that she never wanted to look back at it.It was then that she learned to smoke and drink.That experience cannot be said to be meaningless. Doing business made her understand equivalent exchange, resource development and a little civil legal knowledge.But those experiences were of little use to her, who was at the end of her life. She had to find ways to maintain her own livelihood, and even exhausted her literary background as a Chinese teacher to sell literature for a living.

Of course, Ma Xiaoyan, who had nothing left, regarded her act of embarking on the road of literature as sacred at that time. She believed that starting literary creation was like an opportunity to change the trajectory of her life, just like her resignation.At that time, she shared a house with a divorced single woman, with an area of ​​more than 20 square meters. In addition to a large room, there was also a corridor and a small kitchen.There are two single beds in the room for their own use, and all other daily necessities are shared.Every day, Leng Yueruoxue had to wait for the somewhat paranoid divorced woman to go to bed before sitting at the small dining table in the corridor and starting literary creation.She sat obsessively for most of the night, but often only wrote a few sentences: Hey, potatoes, red beans, big red beans, taro, corn grits and sorghum... This is a poem about food, and she almost used it. It took half a year to revise it, and then personally sent it to the newspaper office in Shacheng.The editor held the poem manuscript and said, simple and true, it reminds me of the age of hunger.So the poem was published on the front page of the newspaper supplement.She changed her name to Leng Yue Ruoxue at that time.

The cold moon is like snow—a new star in the literary world was born in this way.Like all new stars, the initial excitement is inevitable. She held a newspaper with her poems in her hand, and her heart, which seemed a little pale and indifferent due to loneliness, was suddenly surged by the sacred halo of literature.Almost every night, she would stand in front of the small kitchen window of the rental building, looking at the night sky of the sand city shrouded in industrial waste gas and briquette smoke. Like a dusty star waiting to be discovered, she waited patiently for readers Applause and a garland of literary awards.But everything is still so quiet. People who are heading towards a well-off life seem to have long forgotten the anxiety and threat caused by food shortages. Her poems did not get the resonance they deserved.So, she sat quietly in a corner of the sand city surrounded by materials, and while continuing to write sacredly, she felt a high degree of hunger and cold in the stomach and spirit.A few years later, some words and sentences of that poem about food entered popular songs, and unexpectedly became popular across the country. "My poem finally found its way out!" Leng Yueruoxue was so excited that she bought back a few copies of the song and gave it to all the friends she knew.The rest is a matter of copyright.She originally wanted to ask the record company for an explanation. Considering that readers might misunderstand that she was pursuing a few cents in royalties, which would damage her personal reputation, she could only let it go as she did with her tangled love.But the grievances in her heart have no place to vent, so she often complains in gathering places like literary salons.

Leng Yueruoxue is well-known in the literary world not because of her poems, but because of the only novel she created called "Song".The novel tells the love story between Jing Ke and a court lady of the Yan Kingdom for thousands of years. The love story also intersperses the thrilling scenes of Jing Ke's assassination of Qin and the magnificence of King Qin's annexation of the six kingdoms. Naturally, Prince Dan's intervention in the relationship between the two worlds is unavoidable. .More than a thousand years later, Jing Ke was reincarnated as a merchant, and the court lady who was determined to follow Jing Ke finally got her wish to marry as a merchant's wife.The most chilling passage is not about the inevitable demise of love between a man and a woman, but the demise of humanity in the face of interests: in their previous life, Prince Dan was in love with a court lady, but he died in order to make Jing Ke work for him. Give Jing Ke a court lady as a gift; in their present life, Jing Ke, who has been ups and downs in the business world, is facing the crisis of bankruptcy. In order to resolve the crisis, he gave the court lady who had become his wife as a gift to a big man who was very useful to him at that time— ——That big man is the reincarnation of Prince Dan; the ending of the story is that, against the backdrop of the bustling city, the businesswoman who has unfortunately become a prostitute jumps off an overpass, turning love into the last joy in her life... The novel builds Such a proposition: Love is a luxury in life, just like a piece of exquisite porcelain, which can be used to embellish a luxurious life, and can also be passed on to others. Of course, it will be shattered if you miss it.If a person wants to look forward to the love of life and death, he can only rely on the mythical kingdom, but in reality, many men and women live and dream in the "mythical realm" created by themselves.

Later, there was a movie called "The Movie" that became popular all over the country. Although the content of the movie had nothing to do with the plot of Leng Yueruoxue's novel, she was still greatly unbalanced and regretted not finding an investor early to adapt and shoot her famous novel.It seems that the marriage of art and economy is the general trend. Otherwise, no matter how successful a novel is, it will have little practical significance. If it cannot surpass such classics, when the author is down and out as always, it will eventually be lost in the vast ocean of time. annihilation.This is also the fundamental reason why many writers are ashamed to mention their profession anymore, right?

During those hesitant years, Leng Yueruoxue's poetry creation entered a new stage.She is already a very influential poet in Shacheng. Coupled with her beauty and elegance, she has been sought after by a large number of young literature lovers, and has also received the attention of the Municipal Federation of Literary and Art Circles. She plans to release her poetry collection as the next city cultural Build the key bibliography of the "Five-Year Plan".Although the collection of poems has not yet been released, the TV station has already made a feature film for her, which has been broadcast in Sand City for nearly half a month, and newspaper reporters have written reviews of her poems like snowflakes.

An influential collection of poetry is about to appear.All is ready except for the opportunity.That Dongfeng is the cost of publishing and publicizing the poetry collection.The amount of money is not large, more than 30,000 yuan, but Leng Yueruoxue, who travels in the spiritual realm and struggles in the material world, is still unable to raise that sum of money.The City Federation of Literary and Art Circles spends no more than 20,000 yuan a year on activities, and there is nothing they can do to help her.Leng Yueruoxue was at a loss for what to do.