Chapter 12 Chapter Eleven: The Epitaph of That Lost Youth

It's like that: a white bird rushes straight to the valley, and when it collides with the ground, it bursts out with brilliant flames! With a bang, the person is gone, the dream is gone, all the things that can be expected, hoped for, and waited for by luck are gone... It was early in the morning, and Sang Li woke up from the dream again, and when he recovered, he was covered in cold sweat. She raised her head and saw that the surroundings were still surrounded by quiet white walls, there was no sound in the corridor, only the roar of the explosion could still be faintly heard in her ears.

She turned her head subconsciously, Shen Jie was still awake on the hospital bed next to her. She stared at him blankly, seeing how he fell asleep, peaceful and peaceful. She got off the narrow accompanying bed, walked to the round stool next to Shen Jie's bed and sat down, staring blankly for half a minute.Then she gently held his hand, bent down gently, and put her face in his palm, just lying on her stomach quietly and quietly.The drowsiness has disappeared, and the person in the dream is long gone, but the fear in her heart is still rising and falling, she can only rely on this method to feel the warmth that has not yet slipped away.

She is not afraid in her heart-if the operation fails, if the cancer cells metastasize, if one day he suddenly disappears into this world, then all those belated beauties will be buried with regrets before they can be realized. It's just that, after all, she has experienced so many life and death, and experienced so many regrets, her heart has become stronger and stronger, so if she is afraid, then what she is afraid of is not the despair and fear brought about by death itself. Desolation, but the sudden disappearance of some people and things, no matter how hard it is to recover. In other words, what she is afraid of is not birth, old age, illness and death, but being caught off guard.

However, life is always composed of one after another caught off guard. A few days later in the afternoon, Shen Jie suddenly disappeared from Sang Li's sight. What a sudden disappearance—the moment he pushed open the door of the ward, Sang Li suddenly realized how Shen Jie or Nan Yang felt three years ago. In the ward with clear windows and clean sheets, the figure was nowhere to be found. Sang Li stood blankly at the door, thinking to himself: Shen Jie, how could you just leave like this? However, she also knew that according to Shen Jie's personality, this was the last gift he was determined to give her.

That day, she sat in that ward for a long time.A nurse came in the middle and kindly told her that the people in this room had been discharged from the hospital.She returned an empty smile, but in her mind, there were some messy fragments, staged like a revolving lantern. She knew that Shen Jie would not come back again. Everything he gave her has come to an end here. Although, as long as she wants, she can still find him, but his leaving like this is already telling her: don't do things that are useless, life is so short, you might as well grab those tangible warmth. It was also that day that she finally understood how lucky she was: someone could never leave because of loving her; and someone could go far away because of loving her.

Once she was so hesitant that she had no choice, but after a few years, they agreed to leave her the same future. When we returned to the cherry garden, the sun was already setting. She pushed open the door of "You and Me", and before she could get used to the dim light at the corner, a small white shadow rushed over and crashed into Sangli's arms with a "bang". At the same time, a pair of soft little hands tightly grasped Sangli's sleeves, and sweetly called out: "Sangli..." Sang Li squatted down, picked up the fragrant YOYO, and asked her as he walked in: "Why are you here? Where is your father?"

"Father is out," YOYO replied while holding Sangli's neck tightly and not letting go, and buried his face in Sangli's neck, complaining aggrievedly, "Sangli, you haven't played with me for a long time." Sangli also felt a little guilty, and tilted his head to kiss YOYO's little face: "I'm sorry, because I've been very busy recently, and an uncle is sick, and I have to take care of him." YOYO was very curious, and grabbed Sang Li's collar: "Is that your husband?" Sang Li was taken aback, then laughed out loud, sat down on the sofa near the corner, took YOYO into his arms, pinched her little face: "Do you know what a husband is?"

"I know," YOYO said seriously, "it means the boy's mother calls the boy's father." Sang Li made her dizzy, so he asked with a smile: "Why isn't the girl's mother called the girl's father?" "Because Su Nuofei's mother called him father that, but my mother never called me father that," YOYO replied seriously, "she always called my father's name." "Oh—" Sang Li suddenly realized, and couldn't help laughing. While talking, Ma Yu opened the store door and came in. When he saw Sang Li and YOYO, he was slightly taken aback, but didn't ask any more questions, just smiled and walked over.

YOYO saw Ma Yu first, and called out crisply, "Dad." Ma Yu smiled and touched YOYO's head. The little girl obviously didn't like this action, so she shrank into Sangli's arms. Ma Yu smiled at Sang Li, bent down and looked into YOYO's eyes and asked, "Where's your painting, is it finished?" YOYO stuck out his tongue: "No." "Then why don't you hurry up and draw it, isn't it going to be handed over to the teacher tomorrow?" "I want to draw with Sang Li," YOYO explained seriously, "The teacher said, I want to draw with my parents."

Ma Yu was very happy to hear this title, and nodded in praise: "What a good teacher, and even organizes parent-child activities." Seeing him smiling happily, Sang Li pointed to Ma Yu and asked YOYO: "YOYO, isn't he your father? Let him accompany you to draw." "He's so busy, he never paints with me." YOYO complained, looking at Ma Yu with sad eyes. Sang Li looked at YOYO sympathetically, hugged her and kissed her, looked into her eyes and said, "Poor YOYO, let's not have this father anymore, okay?" YOYO tilted his head and thought for a while, then shook his head solemnly: "Not good."

Ma Yu was very proud when he heard that, and gave his daughter an expression of approval: "YOYO is so good!" Before the words finished, I heard YOYO say to Sang Li: "Dad said he would take me to eat something good tonight, and we won't leave him after we finish eating, okay?" After speaking, she looked at Sang Li with pleading eyes, Sang Li couldn't hold back, and finally laughed out after a long absence. Before going to bed at night, Sang Li sat on YOYO's bedside, watching YOYO show her today's painting results. On the A4 white paper, a red crayon drew a long strip like a banana, with one end turned up, and a small red flower on top. Sang Li asked YOYO: "What is this?" YOYO sat on his little bed and happily explained: "This is a big cock." "Oh," Sang Li suddenly realized, pointing to the little flower, "What is this?" "This is the hat of the big rooster," YOYO was wearing a cute little pajamas, and stretched out his hand to gesture on top of his head. "It's cold in winter, so the big cock needs to wear a hat." Sang Li pointed to the picture: "Then why doesn't the big rooster have a tail?" YOYO thought about it, nodded, jumped out of bed and got a blue crayon to draw a few arcs on the tail of the "big rooster", and happily climbed up on the bed to offer his treasure: "It's finished." Sang Li made another serious comment: "Where's the big rooster's wings?" YOYO happily drew two semicircles on the "big rooster" and looked at it proudly. At this time, Ma Yu came over after taking a shower, looked at the painting in YOYO's hand, and asked wonderingly, "What is this? Bananas and mushrooms?" Sang Li laughed, and YOYO looked at Ma Yu angrily and declared: "This is a big cock!" Ma Yu nodded and apologized sincerely: "Dad is wrong. Dad has never been able to draw or appreciate since he was a child." YOYO pursed his lips and ignored him, and turned to Sang Li after a while, "Sang Li, will you be my mother?" Both Ma Yu and Sang Li were taken aback for a moment, but Ma Yu quickly patted YOYO's head approvingly again, and stared at Sang Li side by side with her. Sang Li didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and thought for a while before answering YOYO: "You have to marry your father to be your mother. But if you don't like it, I don't have to marry your father." YOYO was very happy: "Then you should be my mother." Ma Yu was overjoyed, thinking that his daughter and father were caring. Before I was happy, I heard YOYO continue to say: "Then I can have two mothers." Sang Li was very curious: "Do you really want to have two mothers?" YOYO nodded solemnly: "Su Nuofei said that I will have two mothers and two fathers! I am very happy, because if there are two mothers and two fathers, then one mother can accompany me to draw, and one mother can paint for me. I told stories, a dad accompanied me to the amusement park, and a dad bought me good food!" Sang Li smiled and pinched her cheek: "Then you still lack a father." Hearing this, YOYO turned his head and looked at his father who was standing beside the bed with a wry smile on his face, pondered for a while, and quickly threw himself on Sang Li with an extremely intimate gesture, pleading with great enthusiasm: "Sang Li, then Find me another father! I still need a father!" Sang Li was taken aback for a moment, then smiled and looked at Mr. Ma who had obviously petrified beside him. This time, Ma Yu finally knew what it means to be speechless... Also that night, on the way to send Sangli home, Ma Yu looked into her eyes and asked her solemnly: "Sangli, are you happy when you are with me?" Sang Li nodded. Ma Yu seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, he squeezed Sang Li's hand tightly, and continued to ask: "Then if, you, me, YOYO, the three of us form a family and live together every day, would you like it?" Sang Li was silent. after a long time. It was so long that Ma Yu was ready to give up all expectations, and when he turned to leave, he finally heard Sang Li say, "Ma Yu, I want to see Xiang Ning." Ma Yu was stunned. He looked straight at her and heard her say, "I want to go and see him, and I'll give you an answer when I get back." After a few seconds, he said, "Okay." He also seemed to have a lot of determination, and said to her: "I will go too." Sang Li was a little stunned: "Are you going too?" Ma Yu nodded and said with a smile, "Actually, I always thought that we were fellow travelers." He didn't continue, but Sang Li understood what he meant. He said: We are fellow travelers, so we have to walk this road again together. Wherever the memory is lost, it must be retrieved from there.That is the farewell ceremony of youth, and we have to complete it before we can start on the road again. Ma Yu's speed was much faster than Sang Li expected. A few days later, Ma Yu quickly finished all the important work at hand, took YOYO and Sang Li with him and boarded the plane to G City. YOYO hasn't had much chance to go out to play since returning to China, so he was very excited all the way. As a result, such a scene appeared in the cabin—— "YOYO, calm down, aren't you tired?" The man grabbed his daughter who was trying to leave the seat, and sighed helplessly. "Dad, what is he holding in his hand?" YOYO was obviously more interested in the PSP in other people's hands, stretched his neck and muttered, "Let me see, let me see..." Seeing the little girl struggling in his arms, the man complained to the woman next to him: "If I had known, I wouldn't have brought her out. You said there are no girls like her." The woman laughed, stretched out her hand to embrace the little girl, embed her soft body in her arms, and waved to the passenger in the next seat: "Sir, I'm sorry, can you turn your PSP to the side so that the child can take a look at it?" .” Her smile was warm and beautiful, but the young man in the next seat blushed a little, and simply handed it over: "Give it to the children to play with." "Thank you," the woman replied with a grateful smile, took the machine and held it in her hand, and showed it to the little girl, "Here, YOYO, you can only watch but not move, if you break it, your father will pay for it People's." The little girl obediently stopped struggling, stared at the curious eyes, and stretched out her little hand to poke the button.The woman helped the little girl press a few times, and the animated figure inside started playing football, and the little girl's eyes widened. But children's curiosity is always very short-lived. After a while, the little girl curled up in the woman's arms and felt sleepy. she fell asleep.The man next to her was always reading aviation magazines, and didn't bother with the little girl at all. The passenger next to him looked at the woman enviously and said, "You...you are such a happy family." The man raised his head from the airline magazine, smiled politely, and turned to look at the woman beside him. The woman patted the little girl lightly, and seemed to be taken aback when she heard this, then raised her head and smiled slightly, without speaking. The cabin finally fell silent. After more than an hour's flight, Sang Li saw Guan Tong and Gu Xiaoying welcoming them at the exit.As soon as Gu Xiaoying saw Sang Li, she raised her arms and shouted, "Here, here!" Before Sang Li could react, YOYO had already rushed over, shouting, "Aunt Dessert!" All the adults were stunned. After a while, Sang Li and Gu Xiaoying laughed at the same time. Gu Xiaoying solemnly introduced YOYO to Guan Tong: "This is my dessert partner, YOYO kid. We have eaten 26 kinds of desserts together, half of each." Sang Li and Ma Yu watched Guan Tong with a smile, but they heard Guan Tong sigh in relief: "It's great, with her here, I don't have to eat the other half tonight, right?" Sang Li and Ma Yu looked at Guan Tong's expression of relief, and were taken aback for a moment, but couldn't help laughing out loud. The reception banquet was arranged in an exquisite private restaurant. While waiting for the dishes to be served, Guan Tong and Ma Yu chatted like old friends at first sight. While chatting, Guan Tong sighed in surprise: "Are we actually alumni?" He happily turned to Gu Xiaoying and said, "What a coincidence, he is two grades younger than me, from the School of Management." "Really?" Gu Xiaoying also looked at Ma Yu in surprise. Ma Yu nodded and looked at Guan Tong: "Really. We heard about you, brother, when I entered the student union when you were a junior, and you were just transferred to the chairman of the student self-government committee. Let's pass each other, otherwise we must know each other .” In this way, Guan Tong also felt that Ma Yu seemed to have known each other, so he felt more and more cordial.The topic of the two gradually spread from the former teacher to the old restaurant, and continued for a whole dinner.Gu Xiaoying often inserts a few words, trying to get out of the embarrassing incidents or scandals of Guan Tong's college days, but the two men are either too innocent or too cunning, but they never let her succeed. Sang Li just listened with a smile, didn't talk much, and focused all his attention on taking care of YOYO's food.Probably her expression and attitude were too virtuous and unexpected, so Gu Xiaoying kept sighing: This is not what it used to be... The host and guest had a good time, enjoying themselves. All the changes happened when they were drinking tea and chatting after dinner. It was Gu Xiaoying who sighed first: "The provincial university is the best! Any undergraduate graduate from your school can come to our school to be a teacher." Guan Tong didn't believe it: "How is it possible? If a university teacher has at least a postgraduate degree, it seems that everyone will have a doctorate now." "Really, I didn't lie to you," Gu Xiaoying glared at Guan Tong, then turned to ask Sang Li, "Hey, Sang Li, did Ai Ningning come here after graduating from their provincial university?" With a "boom", Ma Yu froze, and Sang Li was also stunned, not knowing what to say for a moment. Gu Xiaoying looked at their expressions and wondered: "Sang Li, you can't remember, right? It's the teacher who taught us English, very young and very cute. Hey, didn't I tell you, I To join her chase—” Sang Li abruptly interrupted the words, "I know! I know!" She pointed at Ma Yu and interrupted: "They are college classmates, at the same level." "Oh—" Gu Xiaoying suddenly realized. Ma Yu on the other side was completely speechless, he just looked at Gu Xiaoying so firmly, and asked after a long time: "Is she okay?" Before Gu Xiaoying could answer, Sang Li patted Ma Yu's arm, smiled and handed over a peeled shrimp, and changed the subject: "I forgot to tell you, Ai Ningning used to be my English teacher." Ma Yu looked at Sang Li in disbelief: "Why? Didn't she go to the Academy of Chinese Opera when she graduated?" "Later, the Academy of Chinese Opera merged with our Academy of Art, and she gave lessons to the students there and us at the same time." Sang Li lowered her head to peel the shrimp and stopped looking at him. "She is very kind and very popular with the students." "Yes," Gu Xiaoying recalled with emotion, "She also sponsored students in six impoverished areas, and we didn't know until a long time later." "Is the Ai Ningning you are talking about one of the top ten outstanding youths in the province?" Guan Tong, who had been silent all this time, finally asked hesitantly. "Yes!" Gu Xiaoying spread her hands, and finally said what Sang Li was most afraid of, "Unfortunately, he died young..." "Boom"!The spoon in Ma Yu's hand fell on the carpet and made a muffled sound. Everyone looked at him in surprise, but he stared at Gu Xiaoying with wide eyes, his voice trembling suddenly: "What did you say? What happened to her?" Gu Xiaoying's professional sensitivity finally played a role at this time, she opened her mouth, but said nothing.She turned her head and looked at Sang Li with eyes begging for help, and the atmosphere dropped to freezing point in those few seconds. Sang Li sighed, turned around and held Ma Yu's hand, looked into his eyes, and said slowly: "Ma Yu, I'm sorry, I haven't told you. Ai Ningning died of lymphoma four years ago. " Ma Yu's face suddenly became pale. Gu Xiaoying was so angry that she didn't dare to say a word, she shrank beside Guan Tong, and she didn't catch her breath until Guan Tong held her hand from under the table. Sang Li kept his head down, and raised his head after a long time, smiled wryly, and looked at Ma Yu: "Tomorrow, go and see her." Her voice gradually became dry: "Ai Ningning and Xiang Ning, they are both buried in Yong'an Cemetery." Ma Yu stared blankly at Sang Li, then at Gu Xiaoying and Guan Tong. After a long time, he finally let out a long breath, bent down, picked up the spoon and put it aside. His face gradually recovered the previous calm expression, he nodded slightly, and said to Guan Tong and Gu Xiaoying: "I'm sorry, I lost my composure." He sighed deeply: "Ai Ningning is my ex-girlfriend, and also the most unforgiving person in my life." The air in the room froze instantly. The next day, Guan Tong drove to Yong'an Cemetery together. Along the way, Sang Li didn't speak, just looked out of the window silently.Gu Xiaoying sat in the passenger seat and remained silent all the way. Even YOYO seemed to understand everyone's heaviness, stopped making noise, but quietly looked at Sang Li, then at Ma Yu, and finally couldn't bear it before asking: "Dad, where are we going?" Sang Li turned around and saw YOYO's curious eyes and Ma Yu's sad expression, tried to smile, took YOYO into his arms, and answered her: "We are going to visit a deceased uncle and an absent aunt." "Where did they go?" YOYO was puzzled, "How can we find them when they are gone?" "Yeah, where did they go..." Sang Li murmured, raising his head to look at the people around him, "Do you believe in another world?" Ma Yu was silent and did not speak. Gu Xiaoying thought for a while, turned around, nodded and said, "I believe it." Sang Li smiled slightly: "Aren't you a materialist?" "I am," Gu Xiaoying replied solemnly, "But, this will make us feel relieved." She turned around and looked at Sang Li with encouraging eyes: "Actually, everyone has experienced the pain of losing their loved ones, but as long as we feel that they can watch us from a place where we can't see them, we will be happy." As for being too painful. I will try my best to live a better life so that they can feel at ease." She looked at YOYO, then at Sang Li and Ma Yu: "Take YOYO to show Xiang Ning and Teacher Ai, they will be happy for you." Sang Li's eyes were sour, and he turned his head to look out the window: the green field and the fast-retreating trees turned into a warm golden color under the sunlight.There is a faint moist mist floating up, enveloping the distant sky, with a little gray, floating, if there is nothing. In that distance, perhaps, there really is a heaven? Her eye circles gradually turned red, she lowered her head, and buried her face behind YOYO's back, while YOYO quietly curled up in her arms, unexpectedly being unprecedentedly well-behaved. Half an hour later, they arrived at the cemetery. Coincidentally, in front of Ai Ningning's tomb, they saw the man who became her husband. He is not tall, and his hair is a little thin. From the back, he is not as tall and handsome as Ma Yu. However, anyone with a discerning eye can see how much he loves his wife. He wiped every crack on the tombstone with a piece of cloth, squatted down to wipe it when he was tired from standing up, and occasionally leaned up to breathe, as if he must wipe the dark gray tombstone spotless.His expression was so focused, as if he couldn't hear the sound of the outside world, and he couldn't see the attention of a few people not far away. He just wiped it seriously, talking to his wife while wiping. The wind blows over, and even some fragments can be heard. He said: "Ning Ning, it's getting colder, remember to add clothes... I've been very busy recently, I'm in the graduating class, those kids did well in the exams last year, and they came back to see me a few days ago... That's right, it's the third year of high school. In purgatory, students can always survive, but teachers have to survive for a lifetime..." He smiled while talking: "Do you still remember Xie Yang, the little hairy boy has a girlfriend, guess who it is... Hehe, isn't it interesting? Back then you always wouldn't let me criticize him, if I didn't criticize him He, can he be admitted to university... Yes, puppy love can't be killed with a single stick, but... that kid Xie Yang has a limited brain capacity, and it is absolutely impossible to use one mind at two..." As she spoke, she gradually choked up: "...I went to see my parents. They are in good health, so you can rest assured... I promised you that I will give them a pension until the end of their lives..." Gu Xiaoying was the first to bear it, turned around and ran away, squatting under a pine tree and crying.Guan Tong followed, pulled her up and hugged her into her arms, she held onto Guan Tong's clothes tightly, trying to suppress her crying, but she couldn't at all. YOYO looked at Gu Xiaoying in surprise, then looked up at Sang Li, and asked cautiously, "What's wrong with Auntie?" Sang Li tried hard to dry the tears in his eyes, knelt down, held YOYO in his arms, and said softly: "Auntie misses her good friend." YOYO nodded and said seriously: "I miss Su Nuofei too." Sangli kissed YOYO, held her hand and stood up, turning to look at Ma Yu.But I found that Ma Yu's eyes were so gentle and relieved. He looked at the man not far away seriously and carefully for a long time.It wasn't until Gu Xiaoying gradually stopped crying and YOYO whispered "Sang Li, I'm cold" that he turned around and picked up his daughter, ready to leave. Sang Li didn't understand, and asked him, "Aren't you going to see her?" Ma Yu shook his head, and he actually smiled. He looked at the sun in the distance, narrowed his eyes, and replied in a rare comforting tone: "Now, I am finally relieved." While hugging YOYO, he looked down at Sang Li: "Go and see Xiang Ning." After a short pause, he asked again, "Shall I go with you?" Sang Li looked up at Ma Yu, hesitated for a moment, then shook his head and said, "I'll just go there by myself, please wait for me." Ma Yu nodded and said, "Okay." Sang Li turned around, looked back at Gu Xiaoying, saw her rubbing her eyes, stretched her arms and pointed to the distance, and said with some sobs: "No. 207, District D, I met Teacher Guo Yunhua there." Hearing this familiar name, Sang Li's heart suddenly tightened.However, she didn't speak, she just turned her head quickly, hugged the lily in her arms tightly, and walked towards the D area. The steps were not long, but as she got closer and closer to the tombstone No. 207, her breathing became more and more tense. It's getting closer, it's getting closer... The moment he finally saw the strange tombstone, Sang Li's legs went limp, and his face instantly turned pale! On the tombstone, the person in the photo looks so familiar—Xiang Ning, to this day, I finally believe that you are no longer there, no longer! Tears rolled down silently, and Sang Li stared blankly at the handsome face, the gentle smile in the photo, and the eternally frozen twenty-nine-year-old. Xiang Ning in the photo will never age. In the cool wind, Sang Li stared blankly at the smiling person on the tombstone. The air was filled with the aroma of pine needles and the damp smell of soil in the mountains.She suddenly thought: Could it be that under this kind of soil, those people we once loved are buried forever? In the silent cemetery, Sang Li sniffed, squatted down, and gently put down the big bouquet of lilies in his arms.After a long time, he stretched out his hand tremblingly, and gently stroked the cold tombstone, and then stroked the eyebrows, the smile, the person who had left forever in the photo... She said in her heart: Xiang Ning, how are you? Is it autumn over there? Is it cool? Is there someone to talk to you? You look down, can you see me? Don't worry, I'm fine. I live very simply now. I also sing occasionally, although the audience is much smaller, but very happy. Xiang Ning, I'm sorry. I didn't see your last side, and I didn't come to see you off for the last time. I didn't even come to see you in these three years.But, I really miss you, you know? I don't come here, not because I don't want to, but because I don't dare. I'm afraid to see you lying in the flowers, afraid to see this cold tombstone. I can't see these, so I can lie to myself that you are still there, and I can tell myself that you will never leave. I lied to myself like this for three years, you may not believe it, once, I really wanted to be a filial piety for you for the rest of my life. "Shouxiao" is a very old word, right?But I really thought about it.I think I have to do something, to atone. But later, someone said to me: We always have to let the people we love see our happiness before it is too late. His name is Ma Yu. Can you see him, the man holding a little girl not far away. He said that he loves me very much, because we have similar experiences, similar thoughts, similar inability to let go, and similar loneliness. Oh, by the way, I forgot to introduce you, the little girl in Ma Yu's arms, her name is YOYO, she is Ma Yu's daughter, if I choose to be with Ma Yu, she will be my daughter. I'm sorry, Xiang Ning, I didn't protect our child well, and I didn't protect your last flesh and blood in the world.I really regret it, but no matter how much I regret it, I can't go back... Ten years of life and death—in the afterglow of the setting sun, surrounded by pines and cypresses all over the mountain, Sang Li looked at the smiling face in the photo, and finally burst into tears. She still remembered that when she woke up that morning, Xiang Ning had already woken up. Sunlight poured in through the gaps in the curtains. In the trance, she saw Xiang Ningzheng staring at her complicatedly, and realized that she was awake. His lips moved, but he didn't say anything. He just put his arms around her waist, took her into his arms tightly, and hugged her. She was silent, and hugged him obediently.At that moment, in the quiet room, only the sound of each other's breathing and the strong heartbeat could be heard. It's been a long time. Xiang Ning finally let go of his hand, supported his body with his elbows, looked down into her eyes and said, "Xiao Li, come back." At that moment, Sang Li almost burst into tears. But she didn't. She just sighed deeply in her heart, stretched out her hand, and gently stroked his forehead, his eyebrows, his eyes, his cheekbones, his nose, his lips... She must remember, that night , used up her whole life. She said, "Xiang Ning, I... can't go back." When she said this, her voice was hoarse, but it was so strange. The moment she finished speaking, the tears that were about to burst out miraculously disappeared, leaving only sore and numb pain, which made her dare not blink. Xiang Ning's expression instantly became angry. He stared at her fiercely, and said fiercely, "Sang Li, you're crazy!" But she just stared at him like that, and said in a daze, "Xiang Ning, I'm sorry." He held her shoulder tightly, tightening his fingers more and more tightly, as if to crush her. He stared at her with red eyes: "Sang Li, it's been two and a half years, and I dare not go back to China. I'm afraid of seeing you, and even more afraid of your shadow in the air. Isn't it disgusting to say that? In fact, even myself I even look down on myself. But, I am so cheap, I still find you!" He looked at her in despair: "I was wrong, I really shouldn't have hoped for you! Don't worry, I'll go! I will never come back! No matter which country, I will die abroad in my life, and I will never come back !" That day, her last memory of him was such painful eyes, desperate expression, and vicious oath! At that time, she was just trying to restrain those tumbling reluctance and intolerance in her heart, she would never have thought that there really was a word in this world called "a word becomes a prophecy". That day, she just kept silent and left Xiang Ning's house expressionlessly.She was in a trance along the way, but she didn't know why she felt trance. I just vaguely feel that something is over and something has just begun. It was almost noon when we returned to the performance troupe. The head of the troupe was relieved when he saw her, grabbed her, and said with love and hatred: "Little ancestor, did you forget that you are going to perform this afternoon? The whole troupe is looking for you , why did you turn off your phone?" Only then did Sang Li suddenly realize that he took out the mobile phone that he forgot to turn on, and hurriedly asked the group leader: "What should I do? Have they all left?" The head of the group is a woman, but she still has a good temperament in middle age. Seeing Sang Li like this, she just poked Sang Li on the forehead bitterly, turned around and dragged out Sang Li's suitcase: "It's all here, I'm looking for someone I brought it for you, you go out now, take the subway, don’t take a taxi, and arrive at the train station within half an hour, they are waiting for you in the waiting hall.” "Okay!" Sang Li agreed, picked up the suitcase and rushed out. I only heard the group leader shouting from behind, "Run slowly, be careful... hey, don't be so irritable, kid, be steady", but Sang Li couldn't care less, so he could only try to run forward, and gradually he couldn't hear the group leader's shout. Voice. When she arrived at the train station, Sang Li was almost on the verge of collapse. She saw the ticket check in the waiting hall from a distance. Sang Li pushed aside the crowd and squeezed in. Suddenly, she was grabbed by someone behind her. See Liang Weisong's face! She was startled and took a closer look. It was really Liang Weisong, standing there leisurely, pinching two train tickets in his hand, looking at her with a half-smile. "Teacher Liang, you haven't left yet?" Sang Li turned around excitedly, looked at Liang Weisong and asked. Liang Weisong sighed helplessly, shaking the ticket in his hand: "The others have already left, I just changed our tickets for the next train." "Ah?" Sang Li's eyes widened, and he felt that all the strength in his body was exhausted in disappointment. He slid to the seat next to him and stared blankly at Liang Weisong who was standing beside him. Liang Weisong sat down next to her, and handed over a ticket: "The evening bus arrives tomorrow evening, and we have to wait another afternoon." Sang Li said guiltily, "I'm sorry, Mr. Liang, for causing you to wait here for me." "Don't feel too guilty," Liang Weisong looked at Sang Li, "I was delayed because of something, so I called them to tell them that I would be late, but they said you were late too, and I said that's just right, we can still be together .” Sang Li relaxed his whole body, leaned on the seat, and breathed a sigh of relief: "It's been a long time since I ran, it's terrible." Liang Weisong looked at the noisy waiting hall, frowned slightly, and asked Sang Li: "Do you want to wait for the bus in another place? It's too messy to sit here all afternoon." Sang Li didn't want to be alone with him, so he instinctively objected: "No, it's fine here, if you miss the train again, it will be too embarrassing." Liang Weisong, however, lowered his face: "Just leave as soon as I tell you, where did all this nonsense come from!" Sang Li looked at Liang Weisong in surprise, thinking that this was the first time he had seen him lose his temper. But he didn't dare to refute, and finally obediently followed him to his apartment near the South Second Ring Road. That was Sang Li's first visit to Liang Weisong's temporary residence in the urban area. In a simple two-bedroom, one-living room, elegant environment, Sang Li sat on the sofa somewhat restrainedly, watched him turn on the stereo, brought out two bottles of purified water, sat down beside her, and unscrewed the bottle caps one by one. Sangli moved away cautiously, but Liang Weisong still noticed it. He suddenly smiled.It was that smile that surprised Sang Li suddenly under the condition of backlighting! Suddenly, it reminded her of the gloomy and terrifying vampire who always wore a cloak and covered her face in the cartoons she watched when she was a child! But in this fleeting moment, Sang Li looked at Liang Weisong in horror, the fear in her eyes was so obvious, but Liang Weisong was not surprised at all, he smiled knowingly, looked at Sang Li, There is a faint light in the eyes! Sang Li gasped. Just when her heart was jumping with fear, she saw Liang Weisong stood up, walked to the French windows, and drew the curtains with a "swish". Under the midday sun, heavy curtains blocked some light, making Liang Weisong's face even more blurred.He stood there, about two or three meters away from Sang, his eyes narrowed slightly, as if he was examining something. Just when Sang Li was about to rush out the door, he suddenly heard his deep voice: "Take it off." Sang Li's brain stopped instantly! She saw him smiling lightly, as if he was talking about something unimportant, but his eyes were ruthless, there was no doubt about it. She sat on the sofa in a daze, Liang Weisong looked at him and smiled slightly: "Take it off, Sang Li." Sang Li shivered suddenly, and subconsciously touched his arm, fine goosebumps had already appeared under the close-fitting sweater. He smiled, walked up to her, stretched out his hand, and pulled her up.She stood there in a daze, letting him pull up her skirt little by little... After a short period of paralysis, her brain began to function—she never seemed to be able to figure out what Liang Weisong would do next, but no matter how she imagined, he would always easily dissolve all her courage before she decided to resist! Just like this moment, when she was about to break free, he lowered his head, raised her arm, and whispered softly in her ear: "Sang Li, don't resist, you know it's useless to resist. And , this is very bad for you..." His tone was soft, but there were gloomy emotions in his voice. Sang Li trembled again, and the next second, he had already grabbed the hem of her loose sweater with both hands, and slammed it on the top of her head. Just pull it off! The moment the girl's body in underwear was exposed to the misty light, Sang Li suddenly raised his head and looked at Liang Weisong expressionlessly with cold eyes. smile! He stretched out his hand under her gaze, and lightly touched Sang Li's eyes. His voice was still thick and magnetic, and he said, "Sang Li, do you know how beautiful you are..." He sighed slightly, his fingers lingering from her cheeks to her neck: "Every time I see you, I always think how good the song is... In that distant place, there is a good girl, and people pass by her yurt Her pink face is like a red sun, and her lively eyes are like a bright moon at night..." He hummed softly, and slowly slid his hands down, slowly opening the buttons of her bodice, slowly and unhurriedly, circling the girl's smooth skin with his fingers.His breath touched her skin, bringing a slightly moist coolness! At that moment, the heating in the room was obviously very hot, but Sang Li couldn't feel the slightest warmth.She closed her eyes in despair and a little self-abandonment, she thought: Shen Jie, look, if you rob others, others will come to rob you, and this thing itself is so worthless!It's wood, it's stone, it's the worst toy in the world!It is not human, it is not human a long time ago! Her heart was filled with such sharp and ear-piercing shouts, she closed her eyes tightly, feeling Liang Weisong's slightly callused fingertips lingering in every part of her body!Her spirit was on the verge of collapse, she clenched her teeth, she didn't say a word, she thought, this is what she asked for, she connived from the very beginning, and it's too late to stop now! The moment before her will collapsed, her last thought was: Shen Jie must never know, absolutely not! However, suddenly, the door of the room was opened with a "bang", Sang Li opened his eyes subconsciously, turned his head to look over, and what he saw was actually Zhao Qianhua? ! What is "caught rape in bed"? Sang Li's head finally exploded with a "buzz"! Sang Li will always remember Zhao Qianhua that day. That is the side of Zhao Qianhua that has never appeared in magazines or on TV. It is the other side of a woman who is always graceful and elegant under the spotlight. She just closed the door, leaned on the shelf in the living room, looked at her husband coldly, and said coldly: "Liang Weisong, I warned you, don't let me see you messing with other women. How did you forget, I have a very bad temper." She glanced at Sang Li, with a smile on her lips: "Little friend, you are so courageous, aren't you afraid that there will be a camera in this room?" Sang Li was taken aback, then looked around subconsciously, seeing her reaction, Zhao Qianhua smiled. She said: "Put on your clothes. It's very cold. If you get frozen, how should I explain to Mr. Shen?" The voice was full of contempt, but it was terrifyingly serious.Sang Li trembled suddenly, and hurriedly began to get dressed, and the two of them started negotiating in front of her? Zhao Qianhua always had that uncertain smile on her face, she said: "Liang Weisong, do you think I don't know about your crap? Let me tell you, as long as you are willing to spend money, there is really nothing I can't find out Arrived..." Liang Weisong looked at his wife coldly and did not speak. Zhao Qianhua sighed twice with a "tsk tsk": "Liang Weisong, don't say that I look down on you, you have met dozens of little girls over the years, right? You have worked hard to get rid of them all! You Can you? You have been abolished for so many years, why don't you give up, do you really think you can regain your strength?" "You—" Liang Weisong stared at Zhao Qianhua with wide eyes, but couldn't speak. Zhao Qianhua smiled contemptuously, and glanced at Liang Weisong: "Liang Weisong, don't blame me for playing tricks on you in front of your new love. Who told you to catch me after all? Actually, I gave you many opportunities, but You don't appreciate it." She turned her head, looked at the cramped and surprised Sang Li, and smiled again: "Sang Li, it's not enough for you to have a backer as big as Shen Jie? You still want to mess with me?" She looked at Sang Li in a daze, smiled and took out a glass bottle containing a light yellow liquid from the paper bag at hand, she pointed to the window and said: "Sang Li, if I catch you again, you There are only two options, one is to jump off the stairs, and the other is to wash your face with this bottle of sulfuric acid." Sang Li took a breath of cold air, she looked at Zhao Qianhua in fear, and after a long time she heard Liang Weisong say in a deep voice: "Qianhua, don't make such a fuss, put it away!" Hearing these words, Zhao Qianhua quickly turned her head to look at Liang Weisong, and Sang Li could see the clear hatred in her eyes, which seemed to burst into flames! At that moment, Sang Li thought: Zhao Qianhua must be crazy! But Sang Li didn't expect that the next moment, Zhao Qianhua suddenly approached her, raised the bottle in his hand high, and looked at Liang Weisong with a sneer. Zhao Qianhua's voice was so cold, she said: "Liang Weisong, do you believe that I will disfigure her right now?" Liang Weisong sat back on the sofa expressionlessly, looked at Zhao Qianhua and said, "Don't make trouble! If you are sent to prison, the company's stock price will plummet. After being acquired by others, your father's property will not be named. Zhao." Zhao Qianhua said bitterly: "Even if it is not named Zhao, it will never be named Liang!" "I know." Liang Weisong said nonchalantly, "But if I divorce you, at least half of it will be named Liang." "Liang Weisong!" Zhao Qianhua gritted her teeth: "Let me tell you, I was blind and picked you! But now that I'm married, I'm the only one who doesn't want you in this life, and it's definitely not your turn to want me!" She turned her head to look at Sang Li, her eyes were filled with almost crazy light. Sang Li gasped as he looked into those eyes, as if he never thought that a beautiful woman would be scarier than a madman when she was cornered! Zhao Qianhua shook the glass bottle in her hand, looked at Liang Weisong, who was expressionless, and then at Sang Li, who was full of fear, and said fiercely: "Sang Li, do you think this is similar to acting in a movie? If today I really let You choose to jump off a building or have your face disfigured, do you think he will help you?" Sang Li was already frightened by her, opened his mouth, but couldn't speak. Zhao Qianhua looked out the window, turned around, suddenly wiped off the fierceness on her face, and suddenly smiled brightly: "I think you will definitely choose to jump from here... because I know a girl like you so well, your Capital is your face, so you will never choose to have your face disfigured!" She changed the subject and looked sideways at Sang Li: "Let me tell you, Sang Li, I am not afraid of anyone, including Shen Jie. Don't mess with me again, or... I will make your death ugly!" Sang Li's eyes widened, she was so frightened that she didn't even have tears! In this way, that day, the incident ended under the threat of Zhao Qianhua. To Sangli's surprise, Liang Weisong really didn't provoke her for a long time after that. Moreover, from then on, he looked at her kindly like an elder. Sang Li was confused... She even felt that everything that had happened was just her imagination, the imagination of her fear to the end! She just lived day by day amidst such doubts and apprehensions, and she even had a little unexpected joy, she thought: Liang Weisong really let herself go like this?Zhao Qianhua really didn't care about herself anymore? But there is also some uncontrollable depression: If Liang Weisong really lets her go, will she still get the originally agreed place to go abroad for exchange and training next spring? It turns out that fame and fortune are really like poppies—you are poisoned, but you also become addicted! Perhaps, it was precisely because of these contradictions and entanglements that one night more than a month later, when Zhao Qianhua appeared in front of Sang Li who had returned late, Sang Li was naturally surprised! It was downstairs where she lived, Zhao Qianhua stopped her, smiled and said: "Sang Li, I want to talk to you." Sang Li looked at Zhao Qianhua warily, and asked her: "Mr. Zhao, are you okay? I'm performing today and I'm very tired. I want to go back and rest." Zhao Qianhua glanced coldly: "Sang Li, then I'll just say it straight. You should remember what I said to you, right? How dare you commit crimes against the wind?" Sang Li looked at Zhao Qianhua in surprise, she didn't understand why Zhao Qianhua would still look for her when Liang Weisong had stopped looking for her? ! She didn't know, but in Zhao Qianhua's eyes, her surprise was clearly a kind of provocation! Zhao Qianhua took a step back, looked at Sang Li coldly, her eyes gleamed fiercely, she said: "Sang Li, I don't want to do anything to you, but you have provoked me again and again, you let me I'm embarrassed, you know? I really didn't expect you to have such a big influence, and you could actually get Liang Weisong to file for a divorce with me?" Under the night sky, Zhao Qianhua exuded a cold breath, it was already spring, but her eyes were like ice, and the black one-piece dress fluttered in the spring wind, like a witch's magic robe! Sang Li was completely stunned. After a long time, she realized the excuse: "It's not me, I haven't seen Teacher Liang for a long time..." "Just because you haven't seen him doesn't mean he doesn't miss you," Zhao Qianhua said viciously, "I'll have to wait and see, Sang Li, I'll see how long he can miss you and how far Shen Jie can protect you ... Sang Li, you asked for it yourself, don't blame others, if you want to blame it, blame yourself!" She turned around and left, the skirt with a wide hem was blowing up the wind, Sang Li stood there in a daze, watching Zhao Qianhua's disappearing back, unable to say a word. So, that night, Sang Li didn't sleep well—she always dreamed that there was a woman in a black dress standing in front of her, holding a bottle of sulfuric acid in her hand, looking at her with a smirk, and saying to her, you have to jump Go down, or wash your face with this bottle of sulfuric acid... Sang Li will always remember the day when the nightmare came true. It was night, and in the evening, she received a call from Shen Jie, who said that he would come to see him on the weekend. The moment she heard his voice, all her fears seemed to have an outlet.She sobbed on the phone for a long time, but Shen Jie listened to her crying patiently and coaxed her through the phone.In the end, he even advanced the time to see her to two days later. He laughed at her and said, Xiao Li, you are really a good boy. It seems that I didn't love you for nothing... On the way home, whenever he thought of Shen Jie's laughter on the phone, Sang Li felt faintly relieved. However, just as she walked into the gate of the unit building, suddenly, a hand circled from behind her!Before she realized it, that hand had already tightly stuffed a cloth into her mouth, blocking all her calls! Before she had time to react, her hands and feet were restrained, and at least two or more men grabbed her limbs tightly, preventing her from struggling and dragging her all the way to the rooftop! Because Sangli rented a six-story building, there was no elevator.There were only a few empty footsteps on the dark stairs, she kept kicking and bumping, but her struggle was useless! When the wind from the platform hit her face, fear filled her consciousness in an instant. The moment she flew into the air, the cloth in her mouth was suddenly dragged out. With that scream, her last consciousness turned out to be that of a crazy woman. wanton laughter! That woman, wearing a long black dress, declared to her in the depths of her mind where she couldn't see: Sang Li, I want you to die! In just over two seconds—less than three seconds, with a bang, the world fell silent! In this way, when Shen Jie hurried to Beijing, what he saw was his little girl, lying in the intensive care unit of the hospital, tightly wrapped by countless tubes and gauze. Shen Jie was stunned. Especially when the doctor said that Sang Li was two months pregnant, Shen Jie's heart constricted instantly. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down the shock in his heart—is it his child?But the last time they met was only for a meal, and the last time they met was three months ago, this is impossible! But if it's not his child, whose is it?And who is it that must put Sangli to death? Does the person who harmed Sangli have anything to do with the child in Sangli's womb? ... Shen Jie felt that he, who had always been calm, had lost his mind. He tried his best to calm down and listened to the doctor's explanation of Sang Li's injury. When the doctor calmly announced that "Miss Sang will no longer be able to have children", Shen Jie almost exploded. In the doctor's duty room filled with the smell of Lysol, Shen Jie clenched his fists tightly, with a heavy expression on his face. After a long time, he turned around and left the duty room, returning to Sangli's ward.He stood quietly at the head of Sangli's bed, looking at the little girl whose whole body was swollen and beyond recognition, with mixed feelings in his heart. He didn't know when she would wake up, let alone how he would treat her once she woke up? Sang Li was in a coma for a long time. During her coma, the police said, it was an accident. As soon as Shen Jie heard this statement, his face darkened—he absolutely didn't believe it was an accident, but unless Sang Li woke up, he couldn't accuse anyone! Because there was no trace of intentional homicide at the scene. Shen Jie hired a private investigator to find out the truth, while he himself stayed in the hospital for three full days. Three days later, Chairman Qin Lizhong was critically ill, and Shen Jie had no choice but to rush to the United States.Before leaving, he finally remembered that Sang Li once said that she had an older brother named Nan Yang who was studying for a Ph.D. in Shanghai.He found Nanyang's phone number from Sangli's phone, and decided to hand over his little girl to someone he thought he could trust. Six hours later, he saw from Nan Yang who hurried over what it meant to be heart-piercing! Such pain, such reluctance, such despair... Such, wishing that it was himself who was lying on the hospital bed! Nan Yang ruthlessly pressed Shen Jie against the wall, and asked him with red eyes: "Aren't you my sister's boyfriend? How did you take care of her? How could you just watch her become like this!" However, he couldn't answer a single question. At that moment, the sleeping Sang Li, the angry Nan Yang, and the doctors and nurses passing by in the corridor all couldn't see the great pain in Shen Jie's heart, and they were blaming himself every second: Why should Send Sangli here?Why can't you stay with her?Why let her be hurt again and again like this? In this way, he boarded the passenger plane to the United States with guilt, self-blame, uneasiness, and of course vague suspicion and unreliability.Two days later, on the day when the secretary called to inform him that Sang Li had woken up, his father, Qin Lizhong, breathed his last breath in a foreign land. Therefore, the first person Sang Li saw when he woke up was Nan Yang. He looked into her terrified eyes, didn't say a word, just turned around and went out to call the doctor.After a series of tedious examinations, the doctors walked out of the ward, and Nan Yang followed them out again without saying a word.Not knowing what medicine they gave her, she fell asleep again without a single dream. When she woke up again, it was probably night, the lamp was lit, the curtains were drawn, Nan Yang with a haggard face held her hand tightly, and finally spoke. He said: "Xiao Li, you are fine, the doctor said, you will get better soon." He also said: "Xiao Li, if you survive a catastrophe, you will have future blessings. If it weren't for the two rows of drying racks protruding from the balcony, I would never have seen you. Xiao Li, you will be fine, you will be like As good as ever!" When he said this, his eyes were fixed on her, as if he deliberately wanted her to see his honesty.But it's a pity that Sang Li is not what it used to be. She already knew that when a person deliberately uses his eyes to emphasize his sincerity, then what he said may not be trustworthy. So, she was silent, she went on a hunger strike... She endured the piercing pain and glared at everyone, asking them to tell her true injury. Finally, they told the truth. They said that she hurt her pelvis when she fell, leaving steel nails on her body and scars that will not fade away; they also said that her ribs were broken and she was stabbed into her lungs and almost died. Can she sing in the future? Those difficult songs are still hard to say; they finally said that she was two months pregnant, but unfortunately the child is gone, and she will not be able to have another child in the future... At that moment, her face was ashen. After that day, she became a puppet. She didn't speak, cry, smile, or even express herself. She just looked at the ceiling quietly, there was no life in her eyes. Her whole body became pale and haggard in such silence, and became more like a wandering soul who could not find a home. If all of this hadn't killed her completely, then Tian Miao's phone call not long after had completely destroyed Sang Li's last bit of anger. That day, when the phone rang, Nan Yang saw it first. He glanced at the phone inadvertently, eyes widened immediately, quickly put the phone in front of Sang Li, and said to her in surprise: "Xiao Li, look, it's Xiang Ning! He must have returned to China, let him come here quickly ,hurry up!" Sure enough, a gleam of light flashed in Sang Li's eyes, and then big tears fell down. She didn't speak, but just stared at the flickering name on the phone screen. She didn't know how to tell him: Xiang Ning, I lost our baby... At this moment, Nan Yang couldn't wait to get through the phone, put the receiver close to Sang Li's ear, and whispered: "