Chapter 2 Chapter 1 Solveig's Spring

In March, when the grass grows and the warbler flies, Gu Xiaoying's new book is on the shelves. The day before the official sale, Sang Li received a courier from G City: a sample booklet in two volumes, the cover is plain white and the background color is simple and elegant.However, because of the title of the book, I always feel a bit of unspeakable sadness. In the afternoon sun, Sang Li quietly sat on the seat near the glass window in the corner of "You and Me Coffee", stretched out his hand, and gently brushed the title of the book with his slender fingers—. Once, Gu Xiaoying joked, Sang Li, one day, I will write a book for you, and the name will be called.

You see, now, she really did. Sang Li gently opened the new book that was still smelling of paper. On the title page, Gu Xiaoying's handwriting caught his eye. There was only one line: Farewell is also a song! It is a cursive style without losing the atmosphere, with occasional continuous strokes, but sharp edges and corners.It's like Gu Xiaoying - he smiles heartlessly, but his heart is clear and clear. Thinking like this, she seemed to remember the last time she saw Gu Xiaoying, she stood in front of him with a calm tone but a look of pity in her eyes.She said, Sang Li, you will regret it.You know that one day in the future, when you have everything, you will regret it.

Now, Sang Li finally knows that even if she has nothing, she will still regret it. Thanks to Gu Xiaoying's always delicate brushwork, those old events, in this quiet afternoon, came rushing to her face with a heavy dust of time. She also saw that carefree time, Nan Yang, who was four years older than her, was holding her hand and running in the afternoon with the strong fragrance of hibiscus; she saw the boy she had loved so much on that night when the gorgeous fireworks bloomed. Xiang Ning kissed the corner of her lips lightly... That was the most true and pure nineteen years of her life. Occasionally, she dreamed that she wished she could fall into a deep sleep and never wake up.

However, every night, what appears most in dreams is not such romance.It was a woman with a pretty face and a luxurious temperament, but there was a ruthless look in her eyes.She was wearing a pure black dress and stood on the roof. When the wind blew, the black dress fluttered in the wind, like a witch's magic robe! She held a glass bottle containing a light yellow liquid in her hand, and said with a sneer, Sang Li, you have two choices, one is to jump from here, the other is to wash your face with this bottle of sulfuric acid. Her voice, like a knife, cut Sang Li's peace night after night.

Thinking of this, in the afternoon sun, Sang Li couldn't help shivering slightly. After a long time, she turned her head and looked out the window. What a perfect day: the trees are sprouting, the flowers are budding, and spring is quietly falling.So does it mean that another cycle of four seasons has begun? Well, just like that, another year. This year has not changed much, the days are simple and old, and it seems to be frayed: she is still like a dormant cat, sitting in the corner of "You and Me Coffee" every day, next to the whole floor-to-ceiling windows in a daze.She likes to watch the mothers pushing baby carriages talking to their babies, and also likes to see the running and jumping students flying kites in the square in front, and even the shopping bags of housewives are worthy of attention... She just watched quietly , not talking, not participating, just watching.

Gradually, in such persistent watching, Sang Li gained a new skill: she knew what time it was by looking at the position of the sun and the brightness of the sun.Unless it was raining heavily, even if it was cloudy, she would be able to make a good guess. In the corner of "You and Me Coffee", she forgot the world, and the world forgot her. There was nothing special about this day. The difference is that there is such a beautiful woman sitting on the sofa in front of Sang Li, her back is facing Sang Li, so Sang Li is lucky to see the man sitting opposite the beautiful woman: good-looking facial features, decent suit , the tie is diagonal stripes, the stripes are not too thick, and the gradient colors match well, reminding Sang Li of Shen Jie who also likes this kind of tie.But this man is not like Shen Jie, he looks gentler than Shen Jie, and his skin is fairer.

The woman's voice gradually became louder, and Sang Li could hear her voice even when she was lying on the table: "If you love me a little, will I leave? My daughter is so small, do you think I'm willing?!" Sang Li was stunned for a moment, and wanted to laugh a little - if he left, he would leave, if he really couldn't bear to part with his "daughter", how could he leave?Women are all duplicity like this, right?I used to be like this too, but perhaps the reason why I am a little more noble than her is that I never put on a noble coat on myself, let alone blame others for my mistakes.

Sang Li admits that she is not a good girl, and later she is not a good woman.However, she never lied to anyone: Nan Yang, Xiang Ning, Shen Jie, Liang Weisong... These people walked through her life, leaving their own traces—love or hatred. During this process, she never concealed those thoughts that were neither good nor noble in her heart. She even expressed more than once: I am not worthy of love, so don't use "love" to ask me. You see, in this world, the so-called love and dislike are mostly nothing but self-inflicted blame. After waiting for a long time, the beautiful woman did not wait for the man's answer.

She finally sighed deeply, pressed a fifty-yuan note under the glass, stood up and left.Just as she was about to walk past Sang Li, Sang Li heard her sighing voice: "Matthew, from now on, I'll call you Matthew. Since it is necessary to continue meeting, it's better not to become an enemy." Then she paused: "When we meet again, you can call me Shania. As for the name you like, I'm sorry, it doesn't belong to me." She turned and walked away quickly.Sang Li felt a little baffled, they broke up, why bother with a name? She looked back at the man sitting not far away, his expression was still so quiet, his posture hadn't changed, he was still sitting there with his head bowed and hands clasped.Sang Li noticed that the cuff buttons of his suit were black regular hexagons with gold trim, which he had never seen before, but they were obviously very nice.

Is his name Matthew?Sang Li recalled the name in his heart, and couldn't help but squish his lips: I really wonder why people with a little bit of culture and money insist on giving themselves a foreign name?It seems that this is more worthy of my work, my circle and even the community I live in. However, Matthew is indeed a good name. Sang Li remembered that when he was very young, Nan Yang told himself a story, which was "Anne of Green Gables".In that, Annie relied most on Matthew, who could be regarded as both adoptive father and elder brother.She still remembers the beginning of the story, Matthew driving a carriage and carrying a red-haired, somewhat talkative little girl back to Green Gables Farm.

Thinking of this, she raised her head again to look at the man across from her. Ten minutes later, he was still sitting there with his head down. The coffee in front of him should have been cold long ago, and the sunlight shone through the glass window beside him, casting a nice shadow on him. Such a man, young and handsome, actually has a child? "囡囡" - Well, it's also a cute name.It should be a cute little girl, how old is she, does she know that her mother is leaving? Thinking of this, Sangli suddenly felt a sharp pain in his heart: Mom—how many children in this world can't stay with their mother? In the evening of the next day, Sang Li was still sitting in "You and Me Coffee", continuing to look out the window in a daze. It wasn't until the Hello Kitty who played the role of the doorbell at the door of the store began to sing happily that Sang Li came back to his senses and looked towards the door curiously.I saw a little girl about four or five years old standing at the entrance, staring at the singing Hello Kitty without blinking, stretching out her hand, tiptoeing to touch it, but she was too short to touch it. A kind waiter came over and asked the little girl, "What do you want to buy, little sister?" The little girl looked at the waiter, pointed at Hello Kitty and asked, "Is this for sale?" The waiter was stunned for a moment, and quickly replied: "This is from the boss's friend, and it cannot be sold." The little girl was a little disappointed, but soon cheered up and asked, "Who is the boss?" The waiter was completely stunned, not knowing what to say.Sang Li thought it was funny, and didn't know how he would answer the little girl, so he sat up straight and put on an expression of watching the excitement.The waiter noticed Sang Li's gaze, and looked back at her, his eyes collided quickly in the air, a little embarrassed, and turned back again.The little girl also saw Sang Li, and then quickly switched her gaze between Sang Li and the waiter two times, hesitated for a moment, and ran towards Sang Li with a "boom boom boom". "Are you the boss?" She asked crisply. "Ah?" Sang Li was stunned for a moment, not knowing how to answer. The waiter saw it and hurried over to make a rescue: "Little sister, aren't you here to buy ice cream?" The little girl glanced at the waiter, then at Sang Li, and shook her head: "Su Nuofei told me that there is a Hello Kitty here who can only sing, and I came to see it." She thought for a while, and added to the interesting gazes of the two adults: "There are many Hello Kitties in my family, but none of them can sing. I want to buy them back and show them to my dad. He bought Hello Kitty back, I said he was bragging!" "Oh—" Sang Li and the waiter nodded together, acting as if they had suddenly realized, then looked at each other, and finally laughed. Looking at the two smiling people in front of her, the little girl felt her self-esteem was hurt, her face flushed, and she complained loudly: "It's not funny at all!" "What's your name?" Sang Li asked the little girl. She looked straight at Sang Li: "Why should I tell you?" Sang Li smiled: "I'll treat you to ice cream, vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, which one do you want?" The little girl's eyes lit up, and she looked back at Hello Kitty at the door, a little disappointed: "I want Hello Kitty." Sang Li's eyes bent into a beautiful crescent, and he waved to the waiter, "One Hello Kitty ice cream." The little girl looked at Sang Li in surprise: "Is there really Hello Kitty ice cream?" "Is Su Nuofei your friend?" Sang Li asked. The little girl hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Then he didn't tell you that there are Kitty, Garfield, Winnie the Pooh and many other styles of ice cream here?" Sang Li looked at the little girl with a smile. The little girl was surprised: "Really?" He was annoyed again: "Su Nuofei's mother doesn't let him eat ice cream, he only told me that the matcha cake here is delicious." Oh…… Sang Li seemed to remember that it was a fair and well-behaved little boy, four or five years old, well-mannered, wearing a Scottish plaid shirt, and would always look up and say "thank you" after receiving the matcha cake wrapped by the waiter.It seems to have bright eyes and small dimples on its cheeks. While talking, the waiter has brought up the Kitty-style ice cream.In fact, it is just a very simple idea: make a cartoon-shaped ice cream embryo, draw a bow with pink cream, outline the beard and eyes with chocolate sauce, and put two pieces of walnut biscuits just baked in the afternoon next to it, full of aroma. The little girl looked down at the ice cream and then at Sang Li, "Can I have it?" Sang Li smiled: "Of course, I'm treating you." The little girl thought for a while, then nodded: "Okay, I will treat you next time." Sang Li laughed out loud: "You can invite me when you grow up." While scooping up the ice cream with a small spoon, the little girl replied solemnly: "Mom said you can't owe others." "Oh..." Sang Li nodded, "Can you tell me your name now?" "What's your name?" The little girl asked with her dark eyes. "My name is Sangli, Sang from the mulberry tree, and Li from leaving." "Oh, my mother calls me Nannan, my father calls me YOYO, and the kids call me Ma Siyao..." The little girl tried her best to remember if she had another name, and the sunlight shone through the glass all the way, dazzled on her rosy white face A light golden halo appeared.Sang Li suddenly wanted to reach out and touch the little girl's face. While thinking this way, her index finger had already gently slid across the little girl's cheek, and the tender and soft touch seemed to make her understand Nan Yang's mood a few years ago: such a young and lovely child, changed Whoever wants to protect it? The sun was already setting when Hello Kitty sang again.The little girl turned her head quickly when she heard the singing, and Sang Li also raised her head and saw the silhouette of a man.Gradually approaching, suit, striped tie, and hexagonal cufflinks, looking at him closely, he is really a good-looking man. But the difference is that today he is wearing a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, and his gentle appearance makes people feel inexplicably fond of him. "YOYO, what are you doing here if you don't go home? Auntie said you can't be found anywhere..." He frowned slightly, looked at the little girl, then at Sangli, then nodded slightly, "I'm sorry to trouble you, I don't know what your name is?" "Her name is Sangli, Sang from the mulberry tree, Li from the mulberry tree," the little girl said as she arranged the knife and fork in a regular manner, straightened her back, put her hands on her knees, and sat upright like a little princess in the Middle Ages. He couldn't hide the look in his eyes at all, and he spoke very fast. The man frowned and looked at the little girl: "Didn't Dad tell you not to interrupt, but you didn't listen." Then look at Sang Li: "I'm sorry, my name is Ma Yu, Yu from Huo Hitachi." Ma Yu? Matthew?Oh... this name... um... so vulgar... Thinking of this, Sang Li unconsciously opened a small smile on his lips. Ma Yu was a little dazed. Although it was short, he felt vaguely that he had seen such a smile before. The fleeting years are too far away, the years are too bumpy, and some memories are gradually blurring. It seems that once you know each other, it will be easier to meet. On weekend nights, Sang Li often performs at "You and Me Coffee", sometimes playing the violin, sometimes singing a song with a soothing melody, depending on the mood and fun.Because the guests who came and went were somewhat self-cultivated, no one made any impolite requests.Such an environment always reminds Sang Li of the text "Humble Room Inscription" he learned in middle school, in which there is a sentence "There are great scholars in talking and laughing, but there is no white man in communication".She was very satisfied with the atmosphere, so she went according to her own mood. Sang Li always sits when she plays the violin or sings. Her long black velvet skirt with a large V-neck is spread out, revealing only her clear collarbone, very charming.In fact, Sang Li majored in vocal music when she was in college. Even the famous soprano teacher Ye Yuxia praised her for her hard work and excellence. At that time... ah, how long ago was that? Sang Li shook his head lightly, as if he wanted to forget those past events, those flowers, those applause, those incomparable glory and desolation to outsiders, since it is over, it is better to forget all of them.She sighed unnoticed on the small bandstand with warm lights, then lightly put on the bow, and slowly, the long and soothing notes of several bars rippling, gradually drawing a faint, lingering Melancholy line. At the same time, Ma Yu was sitting behind a curtain in the corner of "You and Me Coffee" - he had made an appointment with a friend to chat, but the friend refused the appointment, so he sat there alone listening to music and drinking coffee.He had studied the violin for several years, and had seriously studied "History of Western Music" in college, so he soon recognized that she was playing the first part of Ibsen's poetic play "Peer Gynt" by the Norwegian composer Grieg. The song "Song of Solveig" composed in four acts: When Peer Gynt, who was wandering all over the world and unscrupulous for prosperity, returned to his hometown after experiencing vicissitudes and having nothing, his mother had left in painful thoughts of her son world.However, his long-awaited fiancée, Solveig, is still spinning in front of her hut, and sings this song repeatedly: "Winter is gone, spring will never come back; summer will pass away, waiting year after year ;I always firmly believe that you will come back; no matter where you are, may God bless you; I will always faithfully wait for your return, waiting for your return..." Ma Yu could tell that Sang Li was not from a violin class: her technique was not skilled enough, and she handled a few things a little too bluntly.But Ma Yu had to admit that the smell of Gregor's longing and sadness had been deeply attached to the strings, making it easy for people to understand the loneliness, sadness, and longing in her heart. He finally had a little curiosity: this beautiful and young woman, is she unhappy, who is she missing? A few days later, Ma Yu returned home from get off work very late, and when passing by "You and Me Coffee", through the floor-to-ceiling glass windows, he saw Sang Li again. Under the pale orange light, she closed her eyes, leaned her head on a soft cushion behind her, with earphones in her ears, and remained motionless.Ma Yu couldn't help being curious: what song was she listening to that could be so engrossed? Ma Yu stood quietly under the street lamp, looking at the woman inside the glass window, and felt that she was like a riddle, a riddle that had an answer but refused to reveal it publicly. Ma Yu has been looking at her quietly, seeing the graceful line of her upturned chin, and the long eyelashes of her closed eyes.In the background of the night, she was sitting in a coffee shop with warm lights, and she looked like a soft luminous body from the outside of the glass.The song "Solveig's Song" immediately appeared in Ma Yu's mind. It was melodious, sad, and gentle, like a tranquil stream of water flowing through his heart that had been dry for too long. That night, Ma Yu suffered from insomnia. He didn't know if he would admit that this was the legendary "love at first sight" at his age of thirty-two—as a man who had been married, divorced, and had children, he had experienced a lot in his thirty-two years The love and hatred that ordinary people have never experienced, it is more like a TV series. It's not like he didn't love someone before, and those innocent feelings at that time are as touching as they are today.But later he understood that the so-called love is actually nothing more than mutual support and support, not some soul-stirring eachother.In the thirty-two years, he has loved, been hurt, and disappointed.Now he can live well by himself, perhaps, he doesn't need love either. However, he didn't deny the special feeling he felt every time he saw her, faintly, it seemed to be a kind of pity.So he was confused: With a woman like her, how could she allow herself to be so lonely, so lonely, and so sad? In this way, Ma Yu began to stand in many corners of life that Sang Li hadn't realized, watching her. He gradually came to know that this woman named Sang Li would sit on the sofa next to the window of "You and Me Coffee" every day, listening to music, reading books, and occasionally a small laptop at hand. I also know that she plays the violin at "You and Me Coffee" every weekend, and once played the piano.But what puzzled him was that she was extremely skilled in fingering, but when she stepped on the soft pedal, her whole body tilted a lot, which made her back look awkward. He didn't know why she had such a bad habit. Later, he also found out that her family lived upstairs from "You and Me Coffee", Room 201, Building B—it should be a house of about 100 square meters, not big, and suitable for a family of two or three. Room two halls.He became more and more curious: he didn't understand what this woman was doing for a living, and how could she have so much money that she could not only afford a house in a high-end residential area, but also never see her go to work? Ma Yu didn't realize at all that his concern for Sang Li had completely surpassed the feelings of neighbors. If it wasn't "love", it was at least "ambiguous".Unknowingly, he developed the habit of looking at the seat by the window intentionally or unintentionally when he passed by "You and Me Coffee". Occasionally, he would meet Sang Li's eyes and see her faint smile. That smile was as shallow as the ripples left by a little wind blowing on the surface of the water. If there were no ripples, they spread round and round until they filled the entire lake. Thirty-two-year-old Ma Yu is the boss of a cultural communication company. The company is not big, but it is also well-known in the industry.It mainly undertakes some cultural exhibitions and performances, such as last year's "Sephorn Small Theater Drama Week" and this year's "Women's Consumer Goods Centennial Exhibition". In this modern and western-style city, cultural and leisure venues such as galleries, small theaters, and concert halls abound. Arty people mix with people who really love art, providing an incomparably huge opportunity for Ma Yu's career. stage. It is worth mentioning that Ma Yu is also a "returnee" - a doctor of cultural management who returned from studying in Germany, the real thing.In fact, this profession has only been emerging in China for about ten years, and it has cultivated a group of so-called "professionals" who can talk on paper. At the same time, it is facing an empty and chaotic market space.Many friends once said: If Ma Yu is willing to devote himself to the three-foot platform, elites like "Dr. But Ma Yu resolutely gave up all of this.He chose to start from scratch, run a small company, and worked hard from morning to night to "make it bigger and stronger".He doesn't want to mention those days when he started—it can make people give up even remembering bitterness and sweetness, one can imagine the hardship. He just cherishes the present days: he lives with his daughter in the duplex house of "Sakura Garden Green View", often has the opportunity to go to Japan or Hong Kong, and can bring back various styles of Hello Kitty to enrich his daughter's toy room; His subordinates stay up late together, and the satisfied expressions on the audience's faces after the successful planning will give him a sense of accomplishment; occasionally he will go to the library of a university not far away to read, such peaceful time reminds him of his student days easily, And those youthful and sincere years. Ma Yu knows that he is a person who likes nostalgia but does not indulge in nostalgia.So he became more and more curious about Sang Li: her smiles and sorrows all carried a strong old atmosphere, as if she was reminiscing about something, but she could never let it go.He gradually began to look forward to having a suitable opportunity to talk to her. He still remembered that from the beginning to the end, she only said "goodbye" to YOYO, and he just accepted her faint smile that could hardly be found. . This opportunity came quickly. That day, such a beautiful scene even made him think it was a hand-painted postcard. Under the warm afternoon sun, Ma Yu remembered that those cherry blossoms were blooming, fluttering and swaying in the wind.Because it was a working day, there were not many people in the community, and Sang Li, wearing a long skirt with a wide hem, was leaning on the bench under the cherry tree. she is singing. Because the cherry garden is very big, Ma Yu, who was standing in the distance, had to listen attentively.However, it didn't take long for him to be surprised by the familiar melody! Unexpectedly, it is the second act of "Aria the Queen of the Night" in Mozart's "Magic Flute" - "The Pain of Vengeance"! Ma Yu was completely stunned, or in other words, he was tongue-tied at all! Perfect soprano F, gorgeous coloratura aria, fast singing... As one of the most famous songs in the history of coloratura soprano aria, this is a role that many people can't sing well!But, Sang Li, she can sing so well! Against the background of soft cherry blossoms, Ma Yu felt himself solidified into a stone pillar in her singing. I can't exercise, and I don't want to exercise. I just stand there and listen, not daring to take a breath, for fear of interrupting such a passionate singing.He was confused: which one is the real Sang Li who is lazily sitting quietly in the corner every day, or Sang Li who is immersed in the afternoon role and sings with all his life and strength? Finally, after singing the song, Sang Li lowered his head slowly, as if his whole body had lost all strength.Beside her, the cherry blossom tree swayed in the wind, and some petals fell, one of which fell on her shoulder without her noticing. After an unknown amount of time, she finally let out a long breath, raised her head, walked slowly to the bench and sat down.It was also at that moment that Sang Li noticed the probing sight not far away.She turned her head and saw the tall and straight figure at the edge of the cherry blossom forest. She narrowed her eyes slightly, raised her hand to block the dazzling light, and stared at him quietly. Ma Yu hesitated for a moment, then stepped forward and said, "Hello." No title, because he didn't know what to call her—Sang Li?Miss Sang?These titles seem too far away, and he always feels inexplicably familiar with each other. She smiled and nodded slightly: "Hello." "You sing really well. The last time I heard this song was at the opera house," Ma Yu said regretfully, "You should stand on the stage and sing, shining brightly." The preface is a bit inconsistent, but Ma Yu doesn't know how to express his feelings, so he can only express his feelings briefly. Sang Li was stunned for a moment, and soon smiled again: "Really? Thank you." She turned her head and looked at the setting sun that was gradually turning red in the distance, as well as the cherry blossom trees fluttering in the wind. After a long time, she said to herself, "I haven't stood in front of you for a long time. It's on the stage, originally, I thought that I would die on the stage even if I die." Ma Yu stared at her with wide eyes. Her fair skin was covered with a warm red halo under the setting sun. "Ma Yu," she called him, "have you ever had any ideals?" Ma Yu was stunned for a while, and said after a while: "I used to have many ideals, but there have been such and such changes. Now, I just want to do what I can do well, and I don't want to think too far ahead." Sang Li nodded slightly and looked at him.Ma Yu saw that her eyes seemed to be foggy, but her expression was smiling: "Yes, it would be great if I knew this earlier." She said to herself: "Now, I just want to do what I can do well." She stopped talking, and Ma Yu didn't talk either. They just sat side by side in the cherry blossom forest in the setting sun. The warm spring breeze was blowing on their bodies, carrying the faint fragrance of cherry blossoms. After an unknown amount of time, Ma Yu faintly heard her low voice: "Once upon a time, I wanted to be the best soprano in China and sing solo in the best opera house." Ma Yu was stunned again. Sang Li was also silent. The best soprano, the best opera house... All the dazzling things still seem to be hovering in Sangli's mind. She can see the grand lineup of the band as soon as she closes her eyes. Skirt, overlooking the blurred but dense crowd below the stage... Sang Li closed her eyes, tried her best to block the moisture that was about to rage in her eyes, and subconsciously clenched the hem of her skirt with one hand, her palm was wet, as if she wanted to grab something. However, she understands that those who have gone far away, those who cannot see, when she wants to catch up, it is already too late. All that is left to her is to sing Grigge's sadness every night: I will always faithfully wait for your return, wait for your return, if you have already ascended to heaven, we will meet in heaven, we will meet in heaven... … Sang Li knew that her youth was like a "Farewell Song". Because, from the moment she came into this world, parting was the thing in her life that she needed to get used to the most. On the day Sang Li was born, the sky was gray. It was a morning in October, it was seven o'clock, but the sky was still cloudy.Sangli's grandfather was squatting in the yard and "chihhhhhhh" cleaning a small aluminum pot. Sangli's grandma was looking forward to it while cooking eggs and stewing chicken soup. Woke up by the sound, he yawned and walked to the yard and asked, "Did you give birth?" Grandma Sang was in a hurry, and she was too embarrassed to express her eagerness. She just complained: "Not yet. She said she was born today, and she didn't let me go. She had to make soup at home." Nanyang's mother smiled: "Sang's parents and grandchildren, you have to make the soup well, then Xiaofei will have more milk, and the child will grow fat and fat, so you can take pains!" This sounded good, and Grandpa Sang couldn't help laughing, and looked back at Nanyang's mother: "It would be great if Xiaofei could be as competitive as you!" While talking, he complained: "It's not that I can't afford it. Shit!" Grandma Sang sighed: "If you're really a girl, why don't you raise her?" "Then make another one!" Grandpa Sang said, frowning. Nanyang's mother was stunned for a moment: "Isn't it? The punishment was severe! In the front yard, Qin Shouxiang's family passed away, and the unit beat him to the end! It's not bad that he wasn't expelled." Grandpa Sang looked up at Nan Yang's mother: "If you had given birth to a daughter at that time, you would not have given birth?" Nanyang's mother thought for a while, and felt that she might not be reconciled, so she sighed and stopped talking. It was also at this time that Nan Yang, who was woken up, came out of the room rubbing his eyes, wearing a hand-knitted sweater, and greeted sleepily: "Grandpa! Grandma!" Grandpa Sang's eyes immediately became gentle, and he smiled while wiping the pot: "Yang Yang, you were woken up by us?" Nan Yang nodded honestly: "It's so noisy!" Grandpa Sang laughed loudly, and patted Nan Yang with his only clean wrist: "When I have a little brother, it will be even more noisy!" Nan Yang's eyes lit up: "Brother? Where is it?" Grandpa Sang proudly showed the small aluminum pot in his hand: "Did you see that, grandpa has to clean this pot, and make milk for my grandson. After cleaning it, I will take you to see my brother!" Nan Yang was elated: "Okay, okay!" Before the words were finished, a girl about twenty years old roared in, her face was flushed by the wind, but her expression was very excited, and she shouted at Grandpa Sang: "Dad, it's a baby, sister-in-law has a baby, it's a little girl, How small!" "Girl?" Grandpa Sang stared blankly at the little girl who reported the letter as if he didn't believe his ears. On the other side, Grandma Sang was also stunned, and said to herself: "No, the shape of the belly is a boy, that's right..." Nan Yang also looked at Grandpa Sang stupidly: "Grandpa, it's my younger sister, not my younger brother!" His thinking also reacted intuitively: "Then who will accompany me to cicada?" Of course, the grown-ups don’t know that the four-year-old Nan Yang has been looking forward to a younger brother who can be used by him for a long time—he is looking forward to the day when he can walk ahead with a The long bamboo poles have a paste made of flour sticking to the top, sticking "cicadas" with every success in the summer afternoon. And a well-behaved and obedient younger brother walked behind him, opening the cloth bag to store the spoils at any time, and then looked at him with admiration... With a "bang", Nan Yang's fantasy was interrupted.He took a closer look, and found that the furious Grandpa Sang had already waved the polished small aluminum pot and threw it out, drawing a big arc, and almost hitting Nanyang's father who had just entered the door. Nan Yang's father, Nan Lin, who had just returned from buying breakfast, was taken aback. He subconsciously protected the soy milk and deep-fried dough sticks in his hands, and raised his head to ask his stunned wife and son, "What's wrong?" Nanyang's mother turned her head to look at Grandpa Sang who had already turned back to the house angrily, and then looked at Grandma Sang who was muttering "Why is it a girl" all by herself with red eyes, sighed, and made a mouth shape: "Girl..." Nanlin suddenly realized and sighed. Therefore, Sang Li came to this world shortly after the "one child" policy was first implemented.It is precisely because of this plan that she is destined not to receive the meticulous love of her grandparents. But an even more unfortunate thing happened later: five hours after Sangli was born, that is, shortly after Sangli's little aunt ran home to report the letter, Sangli's mother died of postpartum hemorrhage. Sangli—a girl surnamed Sang who was separated from her at birth. This is the name my father gave me, because my grandfather no longer bothers to give this "little broomstick" any name, even a name like "Gou Sheng" is unnecessary. The only one who sincerely welcomes the arrival of the "little broomstick" is obviously the child Nanyang who is in the middle class of the kindergarten - he can actually stay by Sangli's side whenever he has time, watching the baby in the swaddle sleep, And it can be watched with gusto, never tired of watching. Gradually, Grandma Sang also entrusted him with the task of guarding Sang Li, telling him: "Call me when my sister wakes up." Nanyang nodded solemnly, climbed onto the edge of the kang solemnly (at that time, kangs were used in northern cities and did not use beds), and stared at Sang Li with black eyes.Occasionally reaching out to touch Sangli's cheek, I was amazed in my heart why a girl's face can be so soft!He was very surprised how this little guy was so "small"—in order to verify that Sang Li was a "person" in a complete sense, he specially opened Sang Li's swaddle and confirmed that she did have ten toes.Then he became more and more puzzled: how could he be so much younger than himself when he obviously didn't lack anything? Probably from then on, he began to feel pity for Sang Li—look at this hand, it's too small, if you go to kindergarten, you can't even hold a peach! Since childhood, Nan Yang was a caring child. Of course Sang Li doesn't remember these fragments, and Nan Yang is also very vague.All the narratives about these things, even the little aluminum pot that was thrown away, come from Nan Yang's mother's memories. The reason why Sang Li believed in the truth of this story was actually because her grandfather in her memory didn't like her very much, and all her friends in girlhood were Nan Yang. There is no doubt that Nan Yang attaches great importance to this sister. When Sang Li was just able to walk, his grandfather fell ill with lung cancer.The family was in turmoil, and the father, who had never remarried, had a big head like a bucket. He ran between home and the hospital every day, worrying about the long-term cure of the elderly and the snowballing of medical expenses.Not to mention grandma, she was not in good health at first, but now she has overdrawn to the point where high blood pressure and coronary heart disease come out to help the tiger.In this context, Sang Li was a neglected little life—later, this little girl who could not speak was simply sent to Nan Yang’s house, where she slept in the same bed as Nan Yang every night, yet he would give her Sing nursery rhymes! Nan Yang's mother was also surprised—before Sang Li was born, Nan Yang wished she could go to the house, but now, in order to coax Sang Li to sleep, Nan Yang was willing to go to bed at eight o'clock honestly.Of course, Nanyang's mother couldn't understand Nanyang's mood: on the one hand, he was nurturing his own personal servant, and on the other hand, he was feeling sorry for a "doll" with small hands and feet.But no matter what, the first thing Sang Li yelled was not "Dad", but "Ya Ya"—listen carefully, it might sound like "Yang Yang". In this way, Sang Li learned to walk and speak in a neglected situation.The day she said "Grandpa" for the first time, it was very cold and it snowed heavily. In the ward of the People's Hospital five stations away, Grandpa closed his eyes forever. Therefore, from the beginning of memory, Sang Li only remembered the appearance of grandma and father. Grandma is the first god in Sangli's life. She is a good-hearted, kind old lady who has done many good things in her life.For example, acting as a matchmaker for others or giving a small bag of rice when they can't eat... She firmly believes that good things are rewarded with good things, so she doesn't believe that Lao Sang's family is so "extinct".She even mobilized her son many times to marry another and have another child. She firmly believed that it must be a boy!Therefore, the way she looked at Sang Li was like looking at a passerby, at most like a relative's child.She doesn't beat Sangli, but she doesn't treat her warmly. When the time comes, she feeds her rice soup, and after she has teeth, she feeds her regularly.The children were probably not well-behaved when they first learned to eat, and she was not in a hurry. Seeing that Sangli refused to eat obediently, she put down the bowl and got up to do other tasks. She continued to feed until Sangli was hungry and cried. Therefore, Sang Li has always been very good-behaved since she was very young—grandmother said, "eating carrots will make you smarter", and she ate the most hated carrots like taking medicine; Eating crunchy but scary fried duck blood with spinach with eyes closed; Grandma said, "Don't set off firecrackers, or you will blow up your hands and blind your eyes", so she really stayed away, and has been doing it for more than 20 years since then. Afraid of things like firecrackers... She almost subconsciously thought that whatever grandma said must be right. It was a kind of awe from the heart—it wasn't until later that the sensitive Sang Li realized that it wasn't a coquettish dependence, or a sweet nostalgia, but just a kind of awe that came naturally from habit.Especially the last words of grandma before she died completely destroyed Sangli's childhood self-esteem. That day, in the emergency room that smelled strongly of Lysol, grandma said to Sangli's father with her last breath of strength: "Find another one, give birth to a boy, and don't give birth... Xiaofei will change it for you with her life." an opportunity." Sangli was five years old that year, and he was in the top class of kindergarten. In a year or so, he would become a glorious primary school student.It is said that girls are precocious, and although she doesn't understand why her mother's life gave her father a chance, she still clearly understands grandma, grandpa, and everyone's wishes—they want a younger brother, no matter how much she fears, they still Want to give her a brother. And she, nothing can be changed, nothing can be controlled. Sang Li's father, Sang Yuecheng, is that kind of silent man. He doesn't talk much, doesn't smile much, and often frowns, as if there are always some unsolvable problems.He and his wife are classmates in middle school, so it can't be said that they are like glue, but after his wife died, he didn't have a strong desire to remarry.He always stared at Sang Li, watching her digging soil in the yard and scooping water in the bucket to play, sometimes teaching her to walk a few steps, sometimes saying a few words.He has never even been so eager to teach his daughter to say "Dad" like other fathers. He looks at her like a lost and strange animal. Therefore, rather than saying that Sang Li relied on Nan Yang, it would be better to say that she was subconsciously looking for her missing fatherly love from Nan Yang. At that time, Nanyang was already in the third grade of elementary school, and under the guidance of his mother, he could recite a lot of Tang poems such as "the sun shines on the censer to produce purple smoke, and the waterfall hangs in front of the river in the distance".The little boy's nature has been fully discovered by the lively campus life, and he basically belongs to the death squad members who "dare to go to the nine heavens to embrace the moon, dare to go to the five oceans to catch turtles".Not only did he knock out a front tooth of a boy who bullied girls in his class with a chair leg, but he also threw a brick on the glass of the teacher who scolded him.Mom basically didn't listen to what she said, and Dad's "bamboo board stew" didn't work.But the strange thing is that as long as the matter is related to Sang Li, there is room for negotiation. For example, that summer, the nine-year-old boy always liked to go crazy outside, and sometimes he was too crazy to go home.Nanyang's mother searched everywhere anxiously, and finally found Nanyang, who was walking home dripping wet with a shoe in hand, before dark. Nanyang's mother was so angry that she looked at her son who was walking from a distance, wishing she could throw the spatula in her face.Nan Yang probably also knew it was not good, and walked home in a despondent manner with low eyebrows. When he passed by his mother, he almost ran into the back room as if he had installed an engine. "Stop!" Nanyang's mother stretched her face and shouted. Nan Yang stopped obediently. "Where did you go?" "Go...to swim." Nan Yang's voice sounded very guilty. "Don't go home after school, go swimming?!" The mother's voice became high when she saw it. "Everyone go..." Nan Yang timidly looked up at his mother, "If I don't go, I will be laughed at!" "Where are the shoes?" Mom was so angry that she was about to smoke. "Liu Jie from the third class is too bad. He pushed me when he was going ashore, and I tripped and my shoe fell into the river." Nan Yang bowed his head and obeyed. Nanyang's mother finally couldn't bear it anymore, and hit her son's back with the spatula.Nan Yang saw that it was not good, so he ran around in the yard and ran for his life. Nan Yang's mother followed behind, occasionally rubbing a shovel to the side, and heard Nan Yang's bluffing screams.If you don't pay attention, you will step on the pots and cans in the yard, and the yard will be flying around for a while. Nanyang's mother scolded while beating: "You don't study hard, you just know how to play! You only think about yourself, why don't you think about others? You clearly agreed to pick up Xiaoli, how could you forget so quickly? Five years old, does she know the way home? You usually see Xiaoli as a treasure, but when you want to play, you forget her! She squats alone at the kindergarten gate waiting for you until almost You have heatstroke, do you know?" With a "boom", a large mushroom cloud exploded in Nan Yang's head—Xiao Li? ! It was only then that Nanyang remembered that this morning Uncle Sang specifically asked him to go to the kindergarten to pick up Sangli on his behalf, saying that he had to work overtime! Nan Yang stopped abruptly, and froze in the middle of the yard with a terrified expression.Nanyang's mother didn't expect her son to stop suddenly, and slapped her son's neck with a shovel, causing a large red swelling.The mother was so frightened that she threw the spatula and wanted to rush up to see if her son had been beaten, but at the same time Nan Yang had already started running to Sang's house, shouting "Xiao Li, Xiao Li... " The occurrence of this incident directly led to Nan Yang being the most careful and reliable student in the class for more than ten years.Of course, this is something. That day, until Nan Yang rushed into Sang's house and saw Sang Li lying on the kang reading a little book, the trembling all the way came to an abrupt end.At that moment, Nan Yang really wanted to hug Sang Li tightly in his arms! However, after seeing Nan Yang's body drenched in water, Sang Li immediately retreated to the kang that Nan Yang couldn't reach.She stared at Nan Yang who was standing on the edge of the kang with a smirk on his face, his face was full of suspicion. After seeing that Sang Li was fine, Nan Yang breathed a sigh of relief. It was only later that I found out that the neighbors passing by the kindergarten that day saw the pitiful Sang Li squatting at the entrance of the kindergarten, so they kindly took her home.But from then on, Nanyang took the initiative to take over the responsibility of bringing Sangli home until she was in the third grade of elementary school and could go home by herself.For this reason, Nanyang's mother said to Nanyang's father with great comfort: "Our son is really sensible, and he knows to go home on time after school. I have to thank Xiao Sangli for this, right?" And Nan Yang will remember that time for many years afterwards: At four o'clock in the afternoon, he took Sang Li's hand and walked on the sidewalk, the setting sun shone behind them, casting a slender shadow ahead.They mischievously stepped on each other's shadows and ran forward. At that time, Sang Li would show an innocent smile, and his laughter was as clear and sweet as silver bells. It was the rare Sang Li's big laugh, and it was also the eternal Nan Yang's boy. It's like the Song Ci that Sang Li liked very much by chance - "The flowers fade, the red and green apricots are small, and when the swallows fly, the green water surrounds people." The reason why she likes it is because this sentence is full of green indifference and idyllic tranquility, as if it is a gentle summary of the innocence and tranquility of childhood. Sang Li was nine years old when she met Chang Qing. It was a sunny afternoon, and the summer hibiscus tree exuded a strong fragrance. Sang Li and Nan Yang were arguing about the ending of the last episode of "Dinosaur Express Kesai" at the entrance of the alley. The women on the left and right came side by side, and the woman was holding a little girl of seven or eight years old in her hand. Dad saw Sang Li from a long distance away, and called her: "Xiao Li, come here!" Sang Li looked at Nan Yang, and he also looked straight at the strange woman and the strange little girl who was holding her hand.Nan Yang looked at it again and again, but still felt that the little girl was not as beautiful as Sang Li.It was not until he grew up that he realized that his kindness to Sang Li was due to his feeling that Sang Li was a doll worthy of pity, and that only Sang Li was the doll worthy of pity.From this, he also confirmed one thing, that is - Sang Li is unique in this world. Sang Li walked over with a calm expression. Dad bent slightly, pointed at the woman next to him and said, "Xiao Li, this is Auntie Changqing, please call me Auntie." Sang Li raised his head, the bright sunlight flashed behind Chang Qing, he squinted his eyes, and said after a long time, "Hello, Auntie." Chang Qing smiled, her smile must not be as good-looking as Sang Li's mother (because Sang Li never believed that there are women in this world who smile better than her mother), but her smile is very gentle. She let go of the little girl's hand, squatted down, gently stroked Sang Li's cheek with both hands, then looked into Sang Li's eyes and said, "Sang Li, call me 'Mom'." Sang Li's eyes widened. Until many years passed, when Sang Li grew up, she watched a lot of movies and TV series, and when she saw the women in them cautiously trying to gain the approval of a non-biological child, she looked at the "stepmother" who was either vicious or cautious. They always curl their lips habitually. Because she always thinks of Chang Qing, her gentle smile, and her calm and calm tone of voice, she said to her the first time we met, "Sang Li, call me 'Mom'"... She has never seen such a "stepmother" who does not treat herself as an outsider. But later, she had to admit that such an evergreen, although not very likable, was not annoying either. Chang Qing is a music teacher. After marrying Sang Yuecheng, she moved a piano from her original home and taught Sang Li to sing: In the valley, it is quiet, what is fluttering?Thin mist, faint smoke, floating high... Also learning to sing is Tian Miao, the daughter of Chang Qing who brought the Sang family after her divorce.Although logically there should be an inheritance from a musical family, but Tian Miao's conditions are inexplicably much worse than Sang's. In the midsummer afternoon, the whole small courtyard was shrouded in hot air, but Sang Li's singing was so clear and transparent, as refreshing as mountain spring water.Nan Yang sat in the yard and dozed off. When he woke up, he heard Sang Li's voice singing: In the valley, it's so quiet, what's shining?Purple azaleas, red plum blossoms, bloom beautifully... Nan Yang was stunned, and it took a long time to realize that he blinked and stared at the door of Sang Li's house, wondering: Is this Sang Li? Sang Li's good voice also surprised Chang Qing. She has been a music teacher for ten years, and this is the first time she has met a child with such a good voice and a surprisingly good sense of music.She is such a smart and even shrewd woman, she admitted that her original intention was to continue teaching Tian Miao to sing, but she never thought that a child like Tian Miao who sounded good in pitch would be so far behind Sang Li.After all, she was born as a music teacher, and the idea of ​​loving and cherishing talents has overcome the selfishness of a mother.So, that night, she solemnly proposed to Sangli's father: Send Sangli to the Children's Palace to join the choir. This was a turning point in Sang Li's fate, because not long after that, Sang Yuecheng still couldn't stand Chang Qing's persuasion, and on a Sunday in late summer and early autumn, he personally sent Sang away to the Children's Palace. But what was unexpected was: Sang Li, who was learning to sing, went to the Children's Palace together, and Nan Yang, who persuaded his mother to allow him to learn the violin by himself. In fact, Sang Li has always wondered about Nan Yang's violin journey.On the way to the Children's Palace, Sang Li asked Nan Yang, "Brother, why are you learning the violin?" Nan Yang lifted the violin case in his hand, thought for a while and said, "It's easy." Sang Li's eyes widened: "Is the violin easy?" Nan Yang nodded: "At first I wanted to learn the piano, but later I found that the piano is too expensive and takes up a lot of space. Where can I put it in my house? The violin is much better, cheap and convenient. And I watch TV, and the conductor has to play the violin with me. The handshake is very face-saving." Sang Li immediately looked at Nan Yang with admiration. It was many years later that Sang Li realized that violins are not cheap at all, especially some top-quality violins, whose prices can reach millions of dollars.And Nan Yang said that the one who can shake hands with the conductor is the first violin in the symphony orchestra, and that is simply not a realm that ordinary people can achieve. But in any case, Nan Yang's violin journey began like this.The beginning was naturally bumpy - when he was learning "Ave Maria", he pulled a piece of music so hoarsely as if he stepped on a cat's tail.The creaking sound made Nanyang's father almost collapse, but Nanyang's mother firmly supported her son's music career, so Nanyang's father dared not complain.Of course, Sang Li didn't dare to have any opinions, but whenever Nan Yang practiced the piano, he covered his ears and looked at Nan Yang dully, without saying a word.Nan Yang himself was also very annoyed, feeling a bit like "shooting himself in the foot".But now that Haikou has already boasted that "the money for buying the piano will definitely not be wasted", and at the same time, in order to continue to accompany Sang Li to participate in the training at the Children's Palace every weekend, Nan Yang still perseveres in this great career of practicing the piano with a mournful face. At that time, perhaps no one thought that Nanyang was learning the violin for Sang Li, Nan Yang’s mother allowed him to learn the violin in order not to be pestered by his son, Nan Yang’s father tolerated his son learning the violin in order not to be nagged by his wife, and Sang Li In order to satisfy Nan Yang's vanity, he learned the violin from him... But in the end, Nan Yang's violin stopped at the eighth grade level. Under the guidance of Nan Yang, he has the ability to play some complicated repertoires. Chang Qing said: Sang Li is the child with the most musical talent I have ever seen. On this point, no one disputes. However, the relationship between Sang Li and Tian Miao has never been good. Tian Miao is one year younger than Sangli, she is not pretty but very shrewd little girl.She and Sangli lived in the same room, and to put it bluntly, it was as simple as adding an extra bed to Sangli's room.However, the resulting change in the scope of rights and interests has become a series of hidden dangers of war—Sang Li practices singing, Tian Miao thinks it is noisy; Tian Miao reads texts, Sang Li thinks it is troublesome; I still think Sang Li's red model looks good, and Sang Li thinks Tian Miao's blue model looks good, so they quarrel, and then fight again... In fact, it was just a little girl's narrow-mindedness and small confrontation, but both Sang Yuecheng and Chang Qing's heads swelled countless circles. Sang Yuecheng said: "Xiaoli, you have to let your sister order, you are a sister." Sang Li stared stubbornly: "Obviously she scolded me first." Chang Qing was stunned for a moment, and asked, "Miaomiao, what did you scold my sister for?" Tian Miao said angrily: "I didn't scold her, I told the truth, she is bad, she killed her own mother, and even robbed her from me!" With a "boom", something exploded in Sang Li's heart.Her face was flushed with anger, tears were about to fall, but she still had to endure it.She just stared at Tian Miao with red eyes, and before Chang Qing and Sang Yuecheng could react, she waved her hand and slapped Tian Miao on the face with a "slap"! With a "wow", Tian Miao cried loudly. Chang Qing and Sang Yuecheng were completely stunned! After a few seconds, Chang Qing hugged Tian Miao in his arms, and anxiously pulled away Tian Miao's hand covering his face, and asked anxiously: "Miaomiao, don't cry, let mom see , is there something wrong?" And Sang Yuecheng's first action after recovering from the stupefaction was to wave his hand in the same way, and slap Sang Li again with a "slap"! Perhaps it was also because Sang Yuecheng had never hit Sang Li before, the force was so heavy that Sang Li was knocked down to the ground, first knocking down a bench, then knocking the folding table, and then the water glass on the table was shaking When it fell, it shattered to the ground. In an instant, the scorching pain spread, paralyzing Sang Li's nerves, and suddenly blocked her cry that should have broken through. She just lay on the ground like that, her eyes widened, her hands stretched forward, and her face was surrounded by pieces of broken glass, each piece reflected a Sang Li with stiff eyes and a hollow expression, each piece seemed to have a big The hole swept over him, and a voice said loudly: Sang Li, no one wants you, no one needs you... Everyone was stunned. After about ten seconds, Sang Yuecheng woke up from the rage and shock, rushed to Sang Li's side, stretched out his hand carefully to hold her arm, and asked repeatedly: "Xiao Li, what's the matter with you?" I'm sorry, Dad was wrong, where does it hurt you, tell Dad..." He anxiously watched a palm print slowly appearing on his daughter's fair and beautiful face, blood flowed from the corner of Sang Li's mouth, not much, but shocking.Sang Yuecheng was terrified, and kept pulling Sang Li, his voice began to tremble a little: "Xiao Li, talk, why do you feel hurt? Dad is wrong, Dad will never hit you again!" However, only Sang Li's empty and out-of-focus eyes answered him.That gaze seemed to penetrate the father who kept apologizing, the stunned Chang Qing, and the resentful Tian Miao, all the way to the invisible distance. Sang Yuecheng didn't know that there was a hole in Sangli's heart that was getting bigger and bigger, and the cold wind was blowing up, making her crumbling.Her whole body was in pain, and the place where she collided with when she fell should have been