Chapter 4 That young man's name is Zhang Chu

When I saw Xiao Li again, he asked me: "How is it?" "How about what?" "Those two female managers. Are they destined? Difficult?" "It really gave me a lot of insight." I laughed, and couldn't help arousing my thoughts, "I don't know why, I don't think it's the first time I meet them, it seems like I have known them for a long time." "In the idiom, there is a ready-made description for this kind of friendship, which is called 'like old friends at first sight'." "No, it's not 'like'." I shook my head. "It's basically a reunion. I can clearly describe some of their characteristics. For example, Song Ci is left-handed, and Yuan Ge likes to eat sweets. I firmly believe that they are my dreams. people, or acquaintances in previous lives."

"You girls just like to play tricks. You are always someone in a dream, past life and present life, and the words are not amazing." Xiao Li smiled casually, "Isn't it just the names are similar? It's just a coincidence." I was not convinced: "Have you heard of such a coincidence?" "Why not? Let me tell you a true story: When I was in elementary school, my deskmate was named Dai, and his name was Dai Xiaojun." "It's nothing special. It's the standard name for a child born in the 1960s and 1970s in mainland China." "Listen to me—once we handed in the form, I accidentally saw the column of his parents' names. His father's name was Shuben, which means the words 'take the common people as the foundation'; and his mother's surname was Yu, and her name was Wen Shu. ,that is……"

"Quiet and gentle, right? It's nothing special." Xiao Li's eyes were full of smiles: "It's nothing special to read it separately, but you can read it together." "Dai... Shuben, Yu Wenshu..." I suddenly came to my senses and burst out laughing, "Algebra books, Chinese books! My God!" "Do you think it's a coincidence?" "None of it seems real." "It's absolutely true. It's impossible to make up such a coincidence. The funniest thing is that his parents haven't discovered this after decades of being a husband and wife. I accidentally called it out."

"Oh my God!" I couldn't say anything other than calling the sky. "So, there are all kinds of surprises in life, but when you see others think it's a coincidence, when it happens to you, you think it's God's mission, and you become blindly arrogant." Xiao Li spread his hands triumphantly, "Actually, the coincidence Simply see it as a coincidence, nothing happened." Listening to what he said, it seemed unreasonable.I smiled: "Come to see me today, what good program have you arranged?" "How about visiting the Great Wall? Or go horseback riding on the Kangxi Grassland?"

"It's too far away," I hesitated. "It's hard work. Is there any place closer?" "Then, climb Fragrant Hills?" "Xiangshan? Didn't you say that Xiangshan is beautiful in autumn? There are no red leaves now." "Who said Xiangshan can only be seen in autumn?" Xiao Li maintained the reputation of Beijing's tourism industry. "Xiangshan is the kind of beauty in four seasons, but it is more spectacular when it is full of red leaves. But Xiangshan with green leaves is also beautiful. , and there are Diaolou at the foot of the mountain, the old ruins of Tuancheng, the Temple of the Reclining Buddha, Huangye Village, and the former residence of Cao Xueqin..."

"Cao Xueqin's former residence?" I immediately regained my spirits. "I'm going to the former residence of Cao Xueqin." Cao Xueqin's former residence is in Huangye Village. Huangye Village is at the foot of Xiangshan Mountain. Xiangshan is in the northwest corner of Beijing. When we arrived, it was dusk and the museum was close to closing. There was a sense of confusion in the air, as if urging: too late, too late! Xiao Li was still buying tickets, and I couldn't wait to stand on tiptoe and look into the garden. There was a flash of a figure on the corridor, which looked very familiar.he is……

Oh, he is the young man who sent me the pictorial and helped me pay the bus fare that day!I couldn't help shouting: "Hey, you!" while chasing after him. However, the gatekeeper stopped me: "Your ticket?" "My ticket?" I was embarrassed, "I'm buying it now." Fortunately, Xiao Li came to rescue my driver in time with the ticket, but the gatekeeper still gave me a supercilious look: "Buy the ticket before entering, what's the rush? It's only a few minutes away?" I didn't care about answering, so I dragged Xiao Li and ran in, but the grass and trees in the courtyard were sparse and crowded, and there was no sign of the young man.

Xiao Li asked, "Who did you call just now?" "A man." "The one in your dream?" "Nonsense." I glared at Xiao Li, "We only met in Beijing, and I don't know the name yet." "Does he owe you money or is he so handsome that it makes you, Miss Tang, so nervous?" Xiao Li continued to joke. I was a little wistful: "He didn't owe me money, but I owed him." Missing that young man made me suddenly realize that the impression he left on me was so beautiful and profound, and that I had always hoped to see him again. I looked around in the middle of the crowd, feeling a little lost under my feet.Xiao Li complained: "You have no intention of visiting at all, you are looking for someone." I couldn't help but apologize: "No, no, I really want to visit Cao Xueqin's former residence. I have thought about it for a long time." On those courtyard buildings, banners and couplets, they also specially went to the statue of Cao Xueqin to salute.

I am not a god-worshipper, nor do I have any idols, but for Cao Xueqin, I admire and worship Cao Xueqin from the bottom of my heart, and regard it as a blessing from God.From childhood to adulthood, I have watched it countless times, and I can't help but dream about it. How can I sleepwalk in the Grand View Garden, have a long talk with Cao Xueqin, and ask him to tell me the real ending of the last forty chapters?That kind of thought often makes me feel itchy, tossing and turning. However, when I stepped into the so-called former residence of Cao Xueqin, for some reason, I suddenly felt a sense of distance and unreality.Is this really the place where Cao Xueqin, the master in my heart, once lived?Here he "reviewed for ten years, added and deleted five times", and will finally complete it?If he lives here, where is "Zhiyanzhai"?The last forty chapters of the book were lost. If we dig this place three feet into the ground, will we accidentally unearth a carefully preserved manuscript?Could it be that, a hundred years ago, after Cao Xueqin finally completed his writing, he wrapped it tightly and stored it in an immortal urn in a very proper way, just like how Miaoyu stored snow water, with a "ghost face" "Er Qing" hid the manuscript and buried it in the ground.Then, he deliberately took back and destroyed the other loose manuscripts, making them incomplete forever, and played a big joke with all the world.Will it?

Just as I was wandering in the sky, thinking about it, there was a soft reciting voice behind me: "The canopy window, the door, the rope bed and the tile stove are not enough to hinder my bosom; the morning breeze and the evening moon, the order willow garden flowers, feel more moistening the pen and ink." This is exactly the sentence Cao Xueqin boasted about at the beginning.who is it?Who is so informed and interesting, and speaks out what I think? I turned around and couldn't help being shocked. It was him, the young man in the courtyard.I looked everywhere for him just now, but he turned out to be so close to me.That feeling is like a sentence: "I looked for him thousands of times in the crowd, and suddenly I looked back, but the man was there, in a dimly lit place."

A blunt joy and faint pain rose from my heart, as if I had been looking for him for a long time, as if I had been looking forward to such a reunion, as if I had predicted the arrangement of fate, as if the mountain rain was about to come, and the mountain torrent was about to come. Wait for an order.I was so overwhelmed that I didn't know how to start a conversation. The young man was a little surprised when he saw my shocking and inexplicable eyes. He didn't recognize me, just nodded slightly, turned and left. It wasn't until his figure disappeared behind the door that I woke up like a dream, no, I can't let him run away again, I missed it this time, next time, where can I find him?Xiao Li was still patting left and right at Xueqin's portrait. I didn't bother to say hello and chased him. As for why I chased him and what to say after I chased him, I didn't think about it. Beside the bamboo forest in the vertical flower gate, I caught up with him: "Please wait!" He stopped, looked at me in surprise, and didn't ask. For some reason, my eyes were a little wet, and I said in a disorganized way: "I am Tang Shi, we met, in the courtyard, I still owe you ten dollars, thank you for those pictorials, I read them every day..." He remembered and smiled: "So it was you. How are you doing in Beijing?" "Very good. I didn't expect to see you again." I was immersed in the joy of reunion, "I just came in, how about you?" "I've finished shopping and I'm planning to go back." "So fast?" I was deeply melancholy. He saw my disappointment, thought for a while and said, "There is a tea house behind this bamboo forest, do you want to go and sit for a while?" "Of course!" I couldn't help jumping for joy, I had completely forgotten about Xiao Li. The gravel road among the bamboo forests was covered with moss and slippery. I staggered and was supported by him.He naturally took my hand and led me out of the bamboo forest.I suddenly had a wonderful feeling in my heart, itchy and joyful, I couldn't explain it.There is a kind of wandering twilight drifting in the bamboo forest, which adds a deep meaning to the forest. I feel as if I am following him into a brave new world, an Alice's wonderland.It also seems that no matter where he will take me, it doesn't matter, I just know that following him is safe, happy, peaceful, satisfied, a kind of relaxation without worries and doubts. We sat down on the tree stump in front of the teahouse, and he raised his hand to order two cups of tea, jokingly saying, "This is Miaoyu's tea cooked with snow harvested from plum blossoms, which is rare." I also smiled and said: "Just now I was wondering whether Cao Xueqin would hide the original manuscripts in an urn underground like Miaoyu did. The loss of the last forty chapters is a great loss to the world's literary world. " "Not necessarily, maybe this is like the broken arm of Venus, it is not a kind of beauty. Who can imagine Venus with two arms? If one day people really unearth a limb A complete Venus may not bring us ecstasy, but maybe we will feel a great loss." "That's true." I agreed, "When I was young, there was a kid in the country who was very good at telling stories and told me many fairy tales. Later, when I grew up, I read the original work and found that it was different from what he told. I have always refused to believe that he was wrong, and always felt that the version was wrong. Later, I realized that maybe he was wrong, and I was still very sad." "In the countryside?" He was slightly taken aback, lit a cigarette, and asked slowly with a pensive expression, "Is it the countryside in Taiwan?" "No, it's the mainland. I was in the mainland when I was a child, and I didn't go to Taiwan until I was six years old. I have always had a wish to meet that fairy tale kid again. He once gave me a wooden lantern and had a 'one with me'. A hundred years' no, death promise..." I realized that I had strayed off topic while talking, smiled embarrassedly, and went back, "Anyway, I still can't help but guess the last forty chapters , imagine the true ending of Bao Daichai. I have so many questions I want to ask Cao Xueqin, and I almost suffocate myself to death." "Oh, what's the problem?" For some reason, he seemed a little absent-minded. I looked at him and asked earnestly, "Do you think Wang Xifeng can write?" "What?" He froze for a moment. "The book says that Wang Xifeng is not very literate. But Jia Wang Shixue's four big families are of the same size, and they are all families of courtesy and righteousness. Shi Xiangyun, Xue Baochai and Yuan Ying Tanxi's sisters all went to school as children, and they are proficient in everything from piano, chess, poetry and painting Why is it that the Wang family alone does not let their daughter go to school? Moreover, Wang Xifeng chose a boy's name, which shows that the Wang family is very eager for a daughter to become a phoenix, so how could it be possible not to let her study and read? So, I doubt that Wang Xifeng's ignorance is false. In order to avoid entering the palace, or, Wang Xifeng was too talented when she was a child, and her decision to kill was stronger than that of boys, which made her parents afraid, so she was not read to her, just like Wu Zetian's murder of a horse shocked the royal family. Too good." "It makes sense." He stroked his palms lightly, and the conversation became more intense, "Actually, there are many such contradictions in the book, as if Cao Xueqin intentionally left many loopholes for future generations to think about. Like Miaoyu, a universally The nuns who put up bills everywhere in the house, the tea utensils in their collection are so precious that even the Jia family can't match; it is said that the lady of the official family was sent to the nunnery to practice because she was afraid that she would not be able to support her, and she also specially followed a few personal maids. Serving her, this kind of battle, doesn't seem to receive much respect in Jia's mansion, but it is full of the meaning of a princess in trouble. Moreover, such a young lady has lived in Jia's house for many years, and no one from her hometown even came to ask questions Never before. So I guess, maybe she is like the Zhen family, who escaped from a famous family after being raided and was taken in by the Jia family. That's why she led the cultivation practice, and she still has a heart, only Because becoming a monk is simply an escape, a deception." "If you want to clean He Zengjie, the clouds may not be empty. The poor quality of gold and jade will eventually sink into the mud." I gently recited Miaoyu's verdict in "The Twelve Beauties of Jinling", and my heart suddenly became clear. "Jia's mansion was confiscated, which has nothing to do with monks and nuns. But Miaoyu eventually fell into despair. The reason must be that she had no other place to go to seek refuge other than Jia's family, or she simply revealed her identity with Jia's family. Maybe, Jia The house was ransacked, and she is still one of the crimes." "Or, she moved with the family temple. Remember Miaoyu's favorite Zen poem?" "Even if there are thousands of years of iron barriers, there must be a bun in the end." "That's right, there is a Tiekan Temple, also known as Mantou Temple, which fits with Miaoyu's poem. This probably foretells the fate of other people in Jia's mansion. Aren't they all imprisoned in Tiekan Temple later?" ? Do you still remember the doggerel about Jia Qin?" "Xibei Caojin is young, and the nuns in Shuiyue Nunnery are in charge of a man. There are many girls in a man. It's love to hang out with prostitutes and gamble. Unworthy children come to do business, and there is news in the Rongguo Mansion." After I finished reading, I laughed, "I always feel this This passage is too vulgar, blunt and uninteresting, very unlike Cao Xueqin’s pen and ink, after all, it’s too high-spirited.” At this point, he suddenly woke up, “You mean that Jia Qin took Miaoyu... no, it’s too cruel. !" "But if you think about it, does this make sense? Jia Qin regards the nunnery as a prostitution cave. Miaoyu didn't know that Jia's house was sealed off, and she moved out of Changcui nunnery. The most likely place to go was Jia's house." Other family temples, such as Shuiyue Temple, are likely to fall into the hands of Jia Qin, that is the poor quality of gold and jade, and finally sink into the mud. This is a kind of writing method." "But it's still too cruel. It's so cruel that it loses its beauty. In contrast, I would rather like the ending of Daiyu and Xiangyun: crossing the crane shadow in the cold pond, burying the soul of poetry in the cold moon. I like that kind of artistic conception, cold and graceful , such as wiping away a drop of tear from the corner of the eye with a desolate smile, and gently flicking it away in the evening wind, the wind became warm and groaned like a song." When I described it like this, I suddenly felt a hidden worry that he would laugh at me for being hypocritical, or praise me for being romantic. No matter what kind of emotion it was, it would make me lonely and embarrassed.In the past, whenever I fell into the maze of words so deeply, my friends would answer in surprise: "You speak like poetry, it's really interesting." However, he didn't, he was as calm and natural as he heard me say "the moon is beautiful today" and "thank you for eating", and he said without any hindrance: "Chinese classical literature pays attention to 'sorrow but not sadness', That’s what it means.” My eyes were suddenly moist, and my heart was filled with ecstasy.I finally, finally found someone I could talk to, with someone who could understand the joy of just having a conversation?It is more rare and grateful than eating a good meal or getting a good grade on an exam or winning the lottery. Facing such a confidant who descended from the sky, I couldn’t help but tell the deepest secret in my heart: “When I was young, I always had a dream that I would repeat it when I grew up. The more I read it, the more I knew it was impossible. Yes. However, I have always hoped for someone who can truly reveal the truth to me. This desire is as strong as the desire to find the owner of the wooden lantern." He was slightly shocked again, and was about to say something, when I heard a call, it was Xiao Li, and he came all the way.I jumped up in surprise: "Oh my God, I lost Xiao Li." I hurriedly responded, "Xiao Li, I am here." Xiao Li walked through the bamboo forest, complaining: "What happened, I lost you in a blink of an eye... this is..." I introduced the two of them: "This is my colleague Li Peiliang, and this is the person I owe him money..." At this moment, I remembered that we had been talking for so long, but I still didn't know his name. He smiled and stretched out his hand: "My name is Zhang Chu." Zhang Chu.He said his name was Zhang Chu, and he was a teacher of ancient Chinese at the university. Such a young university teacher.What a refined young man.Zhang Chu is so handsome. Or, he is not very handsome, but he is absolutely handsome, full of heroism, tall and straight, and amidst the arrogance, there is a sense of elegance, like a jade tree facing the wind, detached from the world.And that detached temperament is so deeply attracted to me. I was inexplicably happy. On the way back from Huangye Village, I was so silent for a moment that I couldn’t hear Xiao Li’s questions;Xiao Li said several times that I was abnormal, but I just laughed and didn't argue or explain. I bid farewell to Xiao Li without eating dinner, saying that I was too tired and wanted to go back to rest early.But when I got back to the hotel, I was so excited that I couldn't sleep. It was like a whole army was fighting in my heart, coming in and out, bustling and chaotic.There was a name, and it sounded repeatedly like a drum: Zhang Chu, Zhang Chu, Zhang Chu! What happened?Such restlessness, such restlessness, such involuntary emotion, such joyful anger. Standing in front of the hotel window, I opened the thick velvet floor-to-ceiling curtains and light tulle lining curtains and looked out. The moonlight sifted and fell on the courtyard, jumping briskly with the wind, and they were elves who knew the secrets one by one. The wind blows in, and I think of Zhang Chu smoking again. The smoke makes his eyes slightly narrowed, and he looks into the distance unintentionally, with confusion and meditation.When he opened his mouth to speak, the melancholy in his eyes was swept away, as if the clouds were clearing after the rain, he was surprisingly handsome and bright.He smiled and listened intently, his hair fluttering in the wind.When he took my hand, it was so natural, gentle, like an elder brother.At that moment, I really had a kind of expectation that I could just like this, put my whole life in his hands, and travel with him to the ends of the world. I was taken aback, didn't I?At the moment when Zhang Chu held my hand, did I ever look forward to eternity?Looking forward to giving and receiving for a lifetime, and cuddling with each other forever? If, if I could give all my thoughts and hopes to such a person from now on, how pleasant and happy it would be!May I?Is it possible to have such a beautiful dream and just fall in love? Love?This unexpected heartbeat, this lazy tenderness, this longing for entrusted expectations, is it love?Since Zhang Guoli in my childhood, finally another real man walked into my heart, let me understand what love is like? Yes, that is love.If it’s not love to read someone’s name so sleeplessly at night, if it’s not love to wait so eagerly for the next meeting, then I really don’t know what love should be? But how should I tell him?Should I take the initiative to confess?Or wait for him to fall in love with me too?How can I see him again?Offer to date him?Or go to the school where he teaches to find him?There must be a reason, right?It would be too unreserved to send it to the door rashly like this.Will he be underestimated? I don't know who to turn to for advice, I've never been in love, let alone pursued a boy, and I can't imagine what kind of dreadful relationship that would be.But there is a first time for everything, right?I'm finally in love with someone in the real world, right?He is always more real and close than the Zhang Guoli in childhood memories, he can be heard and seen, and he is more likely, right?After 17 years of longing and waiting for Zhang Guoli, no one in real life will give me trouble.I decided to be a brave girl and say love loudly to the person I like. The candlelight of the wooden lantern flickered, I looked at it and said softly: Zhang Guoli, can I stop waiting for you?