Chapter 5 Not every love will be alluring

. On Sunday morning, Xiao Lin called Qu Feng: "Today is my birthday, can I treat you to dinner?" Qu Feng was a bit tired, but he still had this kind of demeanor, and he replied calmly: "It's your birthday? Then let me treat you to dinner." "Thank you!" Kobayashi was waiting for this sentence.Girls in their twenties invite boys to celebrate their birthday with them. The meaning is often not just a simple celebration. In many cases, the birthday celebration becomes a promise of love in the end. Kobayashi is a senior this year, and he came to the troupe for his graduation internship.From the day she reported for duty, she noticed the famous "handsome style" who was a quarter Hispanic.Not only her, but all the girls who came together noticed the style of music. They were impressed by his chic and arrogance, and even more in awe of his loneliness and uninhibitedness.That day, the theater troupe held a small sorority party to welcome them. The girls gathered together in twos and threes to discuss the men and women in the troupe, and pretended to be unintentional. Who will be who's dance partner.When Qu Feng entered the arena, all the girls couldn't help being startled, they instinctively put their legs together, pursed their lips and smiled, but their voices suddenly amplified three or four times, just to get his attention, but no one dared to Take the initiative to approach and strike up a conversation.

Xiao Lin smiled lightly: "What's the big deal? It's just a man. Look at me." He walked over generously and put a hand on Qu Feng's shoulder: "Can I ask you to dance?" "It's my honor." Qu Feng wrapped his arms around her waist and turned around, and the two of them entered the center of the dance floor. The girls were so shocked that they were jealous and envious, and they couldn't say anything, so they all covered their mouths and ate. Laughing. Qu Feng squinted: "What are they laughing at?" "They want you to wonder what they are laughing at." Xiao Lin replied, holding his head high.Right now, she's the winner.

Qu Feng was slightly surprised.He somewhat liked the girl's boldness and wit.Visibly shallow and visibly deep.He doesn't like two kinds of girls, one is too superficial and ignorant, and the other is too deep and unfathomable.Dan Bing is a girl who is too deep, she doesn't know what to think in her little head all day long, and her eyes are sometimes frenzied and sometimes cold, making it difficult to figure out.Qu Feng doesn't like playing charades with others, and has always kept a respectful distance from such girls.But of course I don't like to make friends with thirteen o'clock with big breasts and no brains.

For him, Kobayashi is both deep and shallow. The two got very close very quickly. If it hadn't been for Dan Bing's serious injury, maybe they would have been glued to each other right now.Qu Feng has always been casual with women, never rejecting anyone who comes.The premise is that the other party must be a girl who can play, and he is not interested in chasing after her vigorously. After washing, his mind became clear, and Qu Feng remembered one thing: swans.Swans last night! Last night, he had just walked out of the theater when suddenly, a chirping in the sky startled him and cut his heart for a moment.He had a throbbing feeling of injury, and when he raised his head, he saw the swan landed heavily and vertically at his feet with a sense of fate.

He sent it to the pet hospital without a minute's delay, and when it was handed over to the dignified old doctor, the swan was already dying.Qu Feng didn't know why he felt such pain in his heart at that moment, as if if he couldn't save the swan, he couldn't live anymore. He grabbed the doctor's hand and almost begged: "Will you Did it cure it? Is it all right? It won't die, will it?" The old doctor checked Swan's eyelids, put his hand into the wound to test the depth, checked several times, and finally said: "I was shot, no vital injuries, but a lot of blood loss, coma, all right." Then, he He also said: "This swan is also very strange. It has shed so much blood, but insisted on flying here. It must have flown a long way. How did it do it?"

At that moment, Qu Feng thought of Ruan Danbing.Dan Bing still insisted on dancing "Death of the Swan" with her last energy after being seriously injured. Like this swan, she has amazing perseverance and a strong desire for life.This makes Qu Feng want to save Swan even more. He called the pet hospital: "My surname is Qu. I sent a swan last night. How is the situation?" When he heard that the swan was out of danger, he was really happy, as if he won the lottery.The trance and pain that had haunted him for a long time seemed to disappear suddenly, and he even whistled easily.

Qu Feng is in a good mood today. The direct beneficiary of the good mood is Kobayashi. Candlelight dinner, saxophone accompaniment, roses, chocolate gift box, what a girl hopes to get on her birthday, Xiao Lin got it all. When Qu Feng is in a good mood, he is really a master of flirting. At the same time, it is also the killer of the dream girl. Xiao Lin's eyes were blurred by the candlelight: "Qu Feng, you are so kind to me." Qu Feng smiled noncommittally: "Make a wish." Kobayashi made a wish and blew out the candles.Qu Feng said again: "Cut the cake." Xiao Lin asked: "Why, don't you ask me what wish I made?" Qu Feng smiled and replied: "No matter what kind of wish, I hope you will come true." His face flushed, and his eyes became more hazy and obsessed.

While dancing, Kobayashi asked the swan, "What are you going to do with it?" Qu Feng said: "Cure its wounds and let it fly." "I told Shui'er about swans yesterday, she was very curious." "Who is Shui'er?" "It's my niece, my sister's child." Xiao Lin said, being able to gossip with Qu Feng in this way gave her a special feeling of being like a family, and she was tickled and happy, not knowing why.Because I don't know why, the joy seems unreliable, so I can't help but say more, more, as if I am afraid that the happiness will fly away when I stop: "Shui'er is twelve years old this year. A real little beauty. A little girl, so glamorous, she was born with distinct eyebrows and eyes. When everyone saw it, they only said that she was beautiful, like a doll, and always felt strange in her heart. Only grandma spoke bluntly, saying : If you are beautiful like this, you are afraid that you will lose your life and fortune."

When Qu Feng heard this, his heart moved, and he asked, "What's the matter?" Encouraged, Xiao Lin told him more about the family affairs: "Shui'er was found to be suffering from leukemia when she was nine years old. In order to treat her, my sister borrowed money from everywhere, and her hair became gray. , repeated offenses every year, even the blood has been changed twice, but it is still not good. This year is already the third year, and the doctor said that if the disease recurs, I am afraid there is no hope." These things had nothing to do with him , but it is related to her, now she is talking to him about these things that have nothing to do with him, as if they are closer and have a certain relationship, linking him to her home and her relatives, they Also became relatives.

There was a pity for the wind.He has seen her sister, she came to visit Xiaolin's class, came and went in a hurry, did not talk, only vaguely remembered that she was a middle-aged woman, well-dressed and well-behaved, but her brows were quite haggard, and there was always an unspeakable feeling anxiety.Because of this, he had a bad first impression of her, but he couldn't imagine that it was because of this. He was a little moved. Some mothers gave birth to healthy babies and abandoned them like trash, and some mothers knew that their children were terminally ill but still tried their best.

He suddenly wanted to see the child, and said, "Then, let's bring some water to see the swans together. How is she doing now? Can she come out and walk?" "Yes, I'll take her out to play on Sunday." Xiao Lin replied. It was the first time she discovered that Qu Feng was a very caring person. His indifferent appearance was just a fake. In his heart, there was a treasure waiting for her to go. dig. She fell in his arms, dancing gently, yearning tenderly, wishing tenderly, her wish, he said that no matter what it was, he wished her to come true.Did he know that her wish was him?A handsome and affectionate dance partner, caring, humorous, unrestrained, although she doesn't make much money, she has skills, a decent job to support herself, and a rather noble job that can make her stand out from her peers in his company ——In addition to these, the melancholy and unruly temperament in him also deeply attracted her, just like opium is intoxicating.She often thought, this is the so-called noble blood, right? There are only so many dreams of a girl, and he can fully satisfy them.What else to expect?Is it him?But, how can she grab his heart? She wasn't quite sure what he meant, but she was ready to confess tonight.Today is her birthday, will it bring her good luck? Relying on the drunkenness, she looked at him drunkenly, and said softly: "It would be great if you could always treat me this way." Qu Feng was slightly shocked, and said in his heart: What should come has finally come.He was a little heartbeat, a little nervous, and a little annoyed. He felt that there was a danger, and it was time to express his attitude.Girls are not good at this point, if you stay away from them, they complain, and if you get close to them, you have to look around and hope for more.He felt it necessary to state his position early and correct her unrealistic fantasies.It's best for her to accept, if she doesn't accept it, it's okay to separate.Occasionally, it’s okay to pretend to be affectionate and send her a bouquet of roses, a box of chocolates, and a candlelight dinner with saxophone accompaniment. Is it always good?no. He hugged her and whispered in her ear: "The ancients said: Ten years of cultivation can make you cross a boat, and a hundred years of cultivation can make you sleep together. I don't know how many years of fate it takes to cultivate a dance?" She was not stupid, so she understood immediately, and asked him, "Is it just a dance?" He smiled, and replied lightly: "Maybe more, but it's about the same." Her crimson face suddenly became pale, and she was a little cold, from head to toe.What he meant was to tell her that what he expected from her was nothing more than a dance, a glass of wine, or even a one-night stand, but not a lifetime.These, in fact, had been expected by her, but she still wanted to get his own confirmation.Now, he clearly confirmed and admitted, what should she do?Accept it like a bold and unrestrained girl who is used to playing games?Or walk away like a violated saint?However, no matter which one it is, the result is the same, that is, she loses. She looked at herself, today is her birthday, for tonight, she specially put on her best indigo silk shirt and dove gray soft satin dress, inlaid in the night sky like a little star.Take your failures seriously and seriously. She suddenly felt sorry for herself. Such a serious defeat, but unwilling to admit defeat.Are you willing to just become one of his many women?Are you willing to become a new petal of fragrance in his search for fragrance? Will you?Will you? The dance steps suddenly became heavy. It was late at night. Qu Feng and Xiao Lin stood side by side in front of the floor-to-ceiling glass windows on the top floor of the hotel, neither of them spoke for a long time.Looking out from this angle, you can have a panoramic view of the whole Shanghai.The night view of Shanghai is more beautiful than the daytime. Under the vast night sky, the lights of Wanjia represented by the Pearl of the Orient are extraordinarily bright and beautiful, exaggerated and lovely. It is the same Shanghai, but what you see from the window is always a little different.People outside the window always feel unreal when they look in the window;Qu Feng and Xiao Lin looked out of the window, feeling somewhat sad for no reason. Xiao Lin slightly turned the wine glass in his hand and said, "Shanghai is like this glass of red wine. It looks fragrant and intoxicating, but it has no stamina at all. Shanghai is a frivolous city." Qu Feng took a deep look at her, slightly surprised.She is not as easy to submit as she imagined. After a while, Xiao Lin said again: "In Shanghai, no one cares about true feelings, right?" "What about you? Are you rare?" Qu Feng asked back, drinking the wine in his hand. Xiao Lin shook his head: "I don't know. Many years ago, I read a book called, the author is from Shanghai, but it was written in Hong Kong. In that book, men and women play games and try each other. Willing to take an extra step, for fear of losing himself, until the city collapsed, the two people showed their true feelings. According to the book, it was the catastrophe of the city that made that ordinary woman perfect. But, there will never be another time when the world falls, Come and fulfill me?" Qu Feng leaned against the French window, and suddenly felt a little sad. He looked at the lights of thousands of families outside the window, and thought of the long, long time ago, when Shanghai suffered a catastrophe. There is him again.The fate of the same illegitimate child, different future choices.He sighed: "If every love has to be accomplished in one fell swoop, how many Shanghais will be lost. The little people have to live in illusions, and can't expect so much truth." He stared at Xiao Lin: "Do you really hope that you will meet a true love?" Xiao Lin shook his head, and shook his head again. Under his gaze, he felt extremely lonely, lonely and desolate.She trembled slightly, and tears gradually appeared in her eyes. Finally, she drank the wine in her glass and said sadly: "No, I don't want it, because I am afraid of Qingcheng." She finally agreed. She finally agreed.She is a typical girl who grew up in a Shanghai alley, with all the shrewdness and meticulousness of a Shanghai alley girl.They are in awe of foreign ancestry conventions, regardless of the origin of the ancestry; they care about the distance between the "upper horn" and "lower horn", trample on all who are inferior to them, and praise and criticize all who are worse than themselves; He attaches great importance to the friendship of a certain small group, but lacks the sincerity of respect for this friendship, and is always ready to betray it for his own benefit; when he joined the troupe, all the interns were against all the dancers, but when Someone among the interns—such as Kobayashi—suddenly became superior to others because of the music style, and she became the kind of person who was more hateful than dancers, and would be suddenly isolated, but this isolation was It is enviable, after all, her isolation is not because of failure, but on the contrary, because she has won a victory that others cannot.None of her companions were willing to face her, but when she turned around, she knew that all eyes were on her. She tasted her lonely victory alone, and worried about the loss, she wanted to hold on to this victory more firmly.The more her companions isolated her, the more complacent she had to act.Like Dan Bing, she loves Qu Feng from the bottom of her heart, but the way they love is different.Dan Bing's love is rather for the jade to be broken than for the tile, but she gets a little bit.Get warmth, or get pride. Because of the company of the music style, this pride seems very flamboyant and reasonable.But once the style of music is lost, the source of pride will also be lost. Such a failure will become miserable and empty, and such loneliness and sacrifice will become very unworthy, even cheap. She can't afford to lose, so she has to carefully manage her love, even if it is a bubble-like, short-lived love, she has to catch it, at least, keep it until the end of the internship, and the future will be settled in the future. The face in front of you. As for this mentality, Qu Feng knows and is pitiful. For this "knowledge" and "pity", he is willing to accompany her to play a love game to the end.Anyway, it's not a lifetime, a three-month internship period, soon. However, he only intends to last for three months. Love in today's world is like fast food, it has a deadline, three months, or three years.As long as there is a deadline, there is hope.I am most afraid of the ancient people's view of love that is life or death. They would meet at every turn to "hold the hand of the son and grow old together with the son", or even "to be evil, I want to know each other with the king, and my life will never end. There are no hills in the mountains, and the rivers and rivers are Exhausted, the winter thunder shakes the summer rain and snow, the heaven and the earth unite, and you dare to break with the king." Does it scare people? The stars are shining all over the sky, and they walk arm in arm on the star-strewn road, slowly and gently, like any pair of passionate lovers. She was holding flowers in her hand, while he was carrying her handbag for her. They were a harmonious, gentle, beautiful couple. There are so many beautiful couples walking under the lighthouse on the Bund, who knows if they are the same as them, but it is just a limited-time drama? Lin Daiyu no longer owes Brother Bao's tears, and Liang Shanbo no longer vomits blood because of Zhu Yingtai. The butterflies in this world are all caterpillars. The rules of love have long been rewritten, and they just enjoy the moment in front of them. After talking, both of them became very relaxed and open.On the surface, at least, it's light-hearted. They kissed under the lighthouse like any couple would.His kisses were lingering and skilled, and he clearly knew his way.She also cooperated very well, catering to him wholeheartedly, condescending to him, and satisfying him.Then, taking her hand, he invited her to come home with him, to his house. Her heart "clicked", as if it had settled down, and it seemed that something was broken.Without any hesitation, she nodded shyly, but her heart was actually at a loss.She knew exactly what it meant to be home.This wasn't what she was looking forward to the most, but it had to go through this step, didn't it?It's a step forward at last, isn't it?If she loves him and hopes to gain his love, there must be some specific actions to tie them more tightly, right?Men and women come together, but so many steps.In this world, who would believe in pure and pure spiritual love? She had prepared a lot of words to confess to him, but now there is no need for them, and now they want to characterize those confessions in a more concrete form.She leaned closer to him, she didn't know whether it was surprise or joy in her heart, the girl's virginity was about to be sacrificed tonight, and she hadn't even figured out whether he loved her or not.Or, she didn't know if she really loved him, right?Even if I love him, I don't know what it is to love him. The initial origin seems to be just to stand out from a group of competitive girls, but in the end it turned out to be a fake.But isn't this really, exactly what she wants?I just didn't expect it to be so fast and so real.But the matter of virginity is to be given anyway, whether it is given to him or someone else, it does not make much difference.Do you still expect to stay until the wedding night, and never succeed?If it is given to him, at least he is what he likes and it is his own choice. Even though he knows that this love will not last long, tonight will still be an unforgettable night of ecstasy, and that is enough.As for the future, who cares? The evening wind blew gently, and her dove-gray dress danced in the wind.He held her waist, she leaned on his shoulders, the two of them embraced each other, walked home affectionately, towards her first night, and his unknown number of lingering nights.On the way, I also specially bought some drinks and snacks to add to the fun. When passing by the pet hospital, he said, "Go and see that swan." She nodded meekly, her heart was still immersed in worrying about the gains and losses of this night, after all, it was the first time, so she was always a little bit reluctant.Judging by his casual appearance, he probably doesn't know that it's her first time, right?If she told him, he would not believe it, or if he did, he would no longer ask her.She could see that he was the kind of person who was afraid of being serious, and that he and her were just playing.However, this game was initiated by her, and she desperately wanted to continue, even if she played it, she had to play it more excitingly. No, she didn't want to tell him in advance, she had to wait for him to find out.If after the lingering end, he discovered her virginity, would he cherish her more because of it, would he be pleasantly surprised by it, or would he feel guilty about it?No matter which one it is, he will always treat her better because of it?He always owed her, and this debt would make the weight in her hands even heavier.She saw that he was a man who didn't want to be responsible but didn't know how to respect the truth, and that he would treat her differently because he got her for the first time, different from the women he used to.At that time, she can ask him to treat her well, at least, during the three-month internship period, to treat her well, so that everyone who is jealous of her can see.Help her sustain a maiden's fragile pride and vain dreams. She walked into the pet hospital with him in such wild imaginations, but she didn't expect that all the plans were completely reversed the moment she saw the swan. I miss you so much. When I miss you, the night is long and lonely. I am writing to you.Can these count as letters? Can a letter that cannot be sent be counted as a letter?