Chapter 7 I want to ask him a word

The costumes of famous actors are already a wonderful excerpt. When those suitcases are opened, the colors of the old times will flow out from the folds of the clothes, from the bottom of the sleeves, and from the gaps in the embroidery thread like water, like a pornographic movie with the sound turned off, alone in the dark night without moonlight enchanting. The sexiness of the clothes is indescribable, intimate, yet reserved. The sun slanted into the troupe's costume room. Xiaowan dumped the suitcases and opened all Meiying suitcases according to the seals. ,, "Kite Mistakes"... There are five or six boxes in the box, and the collection is quite rich.Xiaowan opened them one by one, hung the silk and satin all over the shelf, and wandered among them, as if walking in a garden without sunshine.

This is the world of costumes, the garden of the soul, full of the atmosphere of Ruomei Ying. Xiao Wan studied fashion design, and knows that most people who love clothes have strong narcissistic tendencies.Ruo Meiying is one of the worst, right? Duiyi is to Ruo Meiying what moonlight is to the moon, floral fragrance is to flowers, cicada shells are to cicadas, and fish scales are to fish. To read clothes is to read Ruo Meiying.Even after sixty years of wind, frost and dust, one can still guess the character of the owner from these aloof fragrances. She was a magnificent woman, she lived until she was forty years old, but in Xiaowan's mind, she only saw her at twenty years old, in the city of Beijing, on the beach in Shanghai, her eyes and smile marks were entangled in the wind, flowers, snow and moon. In it, they are inextricably entwined and inseparable.

A girl who sings Beijing opera probably has no similarities with Zhou Xuan, Ruan Lingyu and others who sing popular songs, right?What they have in common is that they live in the same era, and they are all famous actresses. But in the eyes of the people at that time, the status of actors and singers was incomparable, because ten actresses and nine prostitutes, singers, were courtesans with artifice, it was Chen Bailu in the movie, and the actor was at most the little girl rescued by Chen Bailu. Things, let others play, and there is no capital to play fate. Ruo Meiying, was she played by fate, or did she play tricks on fate?Seriously speaking, she does not only belong to the 1930s and 1940s, she lived until the "Cultural Revolution", and her life is far more real and dusty than the golden voices in old Shanghai.

Yet the memory of all the dead, near and far, is a story; and if the truth of a story is obliterated and obscured, and there are different versions, it becomes legend. Xiaowan imagined that Ruomeiying's appearance in a modified cheongsam with ruffles is probably far less chic and comfortable than that of a Shanghai singer, and most of them are a little cramped. The opera singers in old Beijing were used to being beaten and scolded by the troupe when they were young. go".If you were a Shanghai singer, would you be afraid of being laughed at?If she doesn't laugh at others, she will dare to be affectionate.

In Ruo Meiying's life, has she ever been really willful? Xiaowan put a bright yellow double satin velvet embroidered phoenix embroidered empress's coat on her body, touching the soft texture of the embroidery thread, she felt gentle. Ghosts are illusory and frightening, but old clothes are kind and real. They are concrete history and living words.In the layered folds and the long skirt, there are notes of temperament hidden everywhere, nostalgic colors, a kind of palpable tenderness, as if the breath of the old man is still there, nostalgic. The costume connects the two worlds of Youming and communicates with Ruomeiying.

The sound of singing came from outside the door. It was the actors who were rehearsing the new play "A Chinese Ghost Story", and they were practicing Zhang Qiannv thinking about Wang Sheng when she was ill. Suddenly, she received a good news with a discount of 10% off: "Thinking about the past from the beginning, the one-hundred-year love is only a long breath. Why didn't you mention the wedding gift? I'm afraid that the young man will fall into the spring. I think how much hesitation I had in Zhubian Bookstore and Liuwaili Pavilion that day. Zhengnai In a hurry, I don’t see the natural and unrestrained voice, leaving the word “Han Qingqi” in vain. I mistook Wushan for the husband’s stone, and combined the small slips into a heartbroken collection. Yi Fei..."

Because it's a new play, the actors' singing feels a bit stagnant and weak, which also coincides with the meaning of the song. Thinking of that Zhang Qiannv, on the one hand, her soul left her body and went to chase after Wang Sheng as a pair. On the other hand, her body was sick, and she was still thinking about Wang Sheng's hatred of Wang Sheng.Little did he know that his rival in love turned out to be another self. A book of confusion. Xiao Wan was playing with the clothes while listening to the music, when suddenly, something hard touched her hand - it turned out that there was a velvet flower hidden in the interlayer of the kimono, a letter of greeting.

The silk paper of the post was sprinkled with gold, and it was written "Yingmei Xiaoxiaopin: May such a flower be with you forever. Zhang Chaotian." Zhang Chaotian! This Zhang Chaotian is really not simple, he is not just a tabloid reporter who praises Ruo Meiying, but also her sweetheart!Otherwise, with Mei Ying's lofty self-promise, how could she store a gift from an irrelevant man in her most cherished costume suitcase?What's more, even Qing'er didn't hide it. But, what kind of story happened between her and Zhang Chaotian?And why are the labors and swallows flying separately, and the mirror is broken when the hairpin is broken?

That delicate velvet flower made Xiao Wan feel kind, as if she had caught the pulse of time and flew back to the distant 1940s in an instant. It takes such real things to move people, and it takes such subtle care to be the most refreshing.Through the first sharpening of the ancient mirror, she seemed to clearly see the backstage of the stage, where the scenery is infinite. Zhang Chaotian gently pinned a velvet flower to Mei Ying's hair, and the two looked at each other and smiled in the mirror.The mirror has recorded the gentleness of the past, but the years have erased them. Men and women marry, and go all the way, without leaving any traces.

No, there are some memories left, there are always some memories that will be left behind, just like this velvet flower. Xiaowan stuck it in the corner of her hair in front of the mirror, and looked at it in the mirror.Suddenly, she stared blankly at the mirror, only to feel her body was stiff, and she dared not move.In the mirror, behind him, there is another person, a woman! She was wearing a set of Qing Dynasty flag dress with "full-body embroidery" stand-up collar that she had just hung on the rack. She combed her crested hair and wore a golden step. Hua, with a timid figure, was looking at him sadly and intently, as if he didn't know whether he should come forward to say hello.

Xiaowan held her breath, and said softly for a while, "Are you here?" The woman nodded in the mirror, still wanting to speak. Xiao Wan turned around slowly and faced her directly.After seeing it clearly, he breathed a sigh of relief and didn't think it was so scary—just because that woman is so beautiful, so beautiful that people can forget that she is not a human, but a ghost who has died. The female ghost looked at the imperial cape on Xiaowan's body with attachment, and said quietly, "This one is when I first appeared in the play, I sang Tsing Yi and acted as Mrs. Mi in "Chang Ban Slope". There is a 'catch the ring', and this is the ring." Grab?Xiao Wan only felt her scalp tighten, and her face turned pale with shock. "Grasp" is a playful term. In "Changbanpo", Mrs. Mi met Zhao Yun on the road. She threw the Adou in her arms into the well and committed suicide. The meaning of 帔 is actually "death". "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Xiao Wan hurriedly tore off the flower necklace, "I didn't mean to wear your clothes." As if she had never heard of it, the female ghost went to another full-embroidered palace dress with cloud shoulders and a small stand-up collar, and recalled in a low voice: "This one was in 1939. I had already become a role, and I sang... " Each piece, each case, is a story. As Ruo Meiying walked without weight, the clothes on both racks swayed slightly, automatically without wind, as if welcoming the old owner. Xiao Wan suddenly thought, the word "yi" in "reluctantly" is a "person" plus a "clothes". Does it mean that the so-called "attachment" feeling is like a "person" for a "clothes"? Clothes" tenderness.Old clothes are like old houses. They have memories. They once had skin-to-skin contact with their owners, shared weal and woe, played a certain role on the stage together, and experienced a certain spring.There are so many admiring, envious, jealous, or greedy eyes on the clothes, and the loud and enthusiastic applause. People have never forgotten these things, so how can the clothes be forgotten? "This one is from 1943. I sang "A Dream in the Garden"..." Mei Ying stopped in front of a woman's wreath with a symmetrical pattern of "Zhizihua" bluegrass and butterfly, and said softly, "That day in the movie theater, I Singing "A Dream in the Garden", I want to bring you back to that era to narrate, but you are very afraid." Xiaowan was a little shy, and forced a smile: "I'm not too afraid now." Ruo Meiying caressed the pattern on the wreath with a melancholy expression: "The story of "A Dream in the Garden" is really good. That green flower also sings operas, smokes opium, and is the fifth concubine. She really looks like me...but she Having Rong Lan as a companion, and the second housekeeper... are much luckier than me." She suddenly raised her head again, looking intently at Xiao Wan: "I'm a ghost, are you really not afraid?" "Are you going to hurt me?" Xiaowan asked back. "No." Ruo Meiying replied affirmatively, "I am in this world, and you are the only friend." "That's it. You won't harm me, so of course I'm not afraid of you." Xiao Wan really smiled this time, "But why did you come to me?" "I don't know either..." Ruomeiying pondered, and suddenly asked, "What month is your birthday?" "December 18." "19 years old this year?" "Yes. How do you know?" "Of course I know." Mei Ying smiled wryly, "If I were alive, I would be 79 years old this year." "Sixty years older than me." "It's exactly a Jiazi. According to the Buddhist calendar, it means that we were born in the same year, the same month, and the same day. You and I have the same horoscope, so it's easy to communicate." "However, there are many people with the same birthday as me. There are hundreds of thousands of people born on the same day and at the same minute all over the world. Why don't you look for them?" "It's not me looking for you, it's you looking for me." Mei Ying sighed softly, "Did you forget? That day is July 14th, Ghost Festival, we have a three-day holiday, and we can go to the world for a walk. I don't know what to do." Where are you going, suddenly you opened the suitcase, I came up in a daze, and the first person I met was you..." Ruo Meiying looked at her apologetically: "I don't know anyone else except you. I've been looking for him all these years, but I can't find him. I'm a ghost with no ability, so I have to entrust you..." "Who? Who are you looking for?" "His surname is Zhang, and he is a reporter." "Ah? Who?" Xiao Wan's heart beat wildly, and the name "Zhihu Zheye" had already come to her lips. However, Ruo Meiying said, "His name is Zhang Chaotian." "Oh yes." Xiao Wan regained her composure, her face still blushing hard to fade.Of course it was Zhang Chaotian, where did he think he was? I only heard Mei Ying say quietly: "I'm looking for him, I just want him to ask him a word." "What words?" "I want to ask him a question." Mei Ying looked at the rack of floral dresses miserable, and said to herself, "Thirty years in the world is a catastrophe. People in the world should pay attention to standing at thirty. If you can’t make up your mind to set up a family, you will waste your life. The ghosts in the underworld are reincarnated every 30 years. If you still refuse to be reincarnated after 30 years, you will miss the fate and have no chance to return to the sun. I am here For thirty years, I wandered and wandered in a misty, just to find Zhang Chaotian and ask him a word of understanding. However, thirty years have passed, and I have never heard from him. I want to give up every time, but I can't let go of the debt of this relationship. I missed the deadline for reincarnation, and there is no chance of reincarnation anymore. The only thing to do is to wait for the annual July 14th, So I came to the world to find him. That day, I came to the world with a group of ghosts who hadn’t returned to the sun. I was walking on the street in a daze, without direction and involuntary, but suddenly, there was a strange force, a kind of It was a very familiar feeling, so if I moved, I couldn't help but follow, and entered a courtyard, and saw you trying on clothes there..." "In other words, it was Lihun Yi who led the way for you and left you in Yangjian?" "Yes. A ghost has no power or form of its own. It must rely on something to exist. It can either be attached to someone or something. My soul is in those clothes. gone." Xiao Wan looked at Ruo Meiying in the costume, feeling sad in her heart, and suddenly thought of something: "You said you had a three-day holiday, but it has already expired, why do you still stay in the world?" "I can't go back." Mei Ying sighed quietly, "It's rare for me to meet you. I know, this is my best chance. If I can't find him this time, I will never be able to find him again. So, when the three days expired, I still didn’t leave, I hid in the suitcase to escape the ghost soldiers, and would rather stay in the world as a lonely ghost than go back.” Three days, the seventeenth of July, the day Huber died.Could it be that if Meiying used Hu Bolai to make a deal with the ghost soldiers, Li Daitao stiffened?I really don't know whether I did a good thing or a bad thing after my adventure.She helped a ghost come to the underworld to find out the answer to a bad relationship in her life, but she killed Huber because of it.It can also be said that her actions indirectly killed people, and she was the murderer behind the scenes. murderer?Xiaowan shuddered: "The reason why you stay here is that you want me to help you find Zhang Chaotian?" "I jumped off a building for him and became a wandering ghost for him. I just wanted to ask him a word. For thirty years, I have been looking for him every ghost festival, but I have never been able to find him. For him, I would never Going to reincarnate, refusing to drink Mengpo soup, and crossing the Naihe bridge. I don’t want to forget. I have to remember, and I have to ask him a word.” "What kind of grudge does he have with you?" Xiao Wan asked timidly, she couldn't help being curious while being afraid.What kind of love and hatred can cause a person to commit suicide by falling from a building, or make a ghost refuse to reincarnate, seek and entangle him for decades, vowing to ask him a word. I want to ask him a word.What words? Mei Ying recalled faintly: "I met him when I was singing operas in Shanghai. He is a newspaper reporter. He often came to my operas, and every time he finished watching them, he would write articles to praise me. His articles are really well written. The son is good, the meaning is good, I don’t understand it very well, but I just feel that his articles are different from others, and every sentence can speak to my heart.” Xiaowan watched Ruomeiying with fascination, anger and joy, walking and sitting suddenly, and felt that she was beautiful no matter what, she was astonishingly beautiful.She said that if she was still alive, she would be 79 years old, and she should be a chicken-skinned and white-haired old man, perhaps, like a cripple, old and dead.However, since she became a ghost, the years have nothing to do with her since then, and she will forever "live" in a certain era she likes the most, the time of heyday, the time of beauty, the time of first love——when she recalled her youth In this era, the kind of shyness that is jealous of peaches and plums is even more charming. "Before him, I also met many people, men, rich, and powerful. They showed me courtesies, gave me flowers, gifts, dinners, and dinners. I didn't care. It was just entertainment, nothing sincere. ...but since meeting him, meeting him..." Mei Ying's voice lowered, lowered, extremely shy.Xiaowan looked at her fascinated, and felt that every gesture of her hand and foot was so beautiful, and that kind of soft and charming voice that is unique to famous Peking opera actresses always penetrated into people's hearts. "Oh, he is different from others. What is different? I can't tell. But, when I see him, my heart beats, my face turns red, and I feel hot. I always feel that something good is going to happen; I will miss him, worry about him, and have no energy in doing anything. I don’t like going to Beijing to sing anymore, and I try to stay in Shanghai, just because he is in Shanghai..." Meiying suddenly turned her head and looked at Xiaowan, "You, love ever?" Xiao Wan was taken aback, have you ever loved?I am in love, same as Zhang Zhi.However, he hadn't shown up for three or four days, and he only called a few times, and his tone was very cold.She was really a little scared, afraid that the scene of Atao's sudden disappearance would happen again.Why, every love story of mine is on the verge of ending at the beginning?Could it be that this is fate? "Have you ever fallen in love with someone deeply, painfully?" Mei Ying asked quietly, but without waiting for her answer, she just continued: "I am in love with him. From the moment I know myself After loving him, I never accepted other men’s dates, nor went to entertain guests, but just waited for him to confess to me... I bought his newspaper every day, and I liked his name when I saw it. While singing While watching him secretly, he is always there in the seat he often sits in." Mei Ying's expression became more and more gentle, and she whispered softly, counting the love affairs of sixty years ago, as if it was only yesterday: "The theater at that time had three floors, and the seats on the third floor were sold to those who worked hard. Yes, the ones who do the work sit high and are far away, so they can’t see carefully, but they shout the most vigorously when they are cheering. With them, we are not afraid of being left out. So every time we go on stage, we set up a corner behind the stage Come and look at the third floor. If the black crows are full of people there, I will be sure. However, since "him", I can't see anyone, I can't see the dignitaries downstairs, and I can't see the upstairs. He was the only one who was applauding. He wore a long gown and a top hat. He always sat upright and left after the play. The more it is like this, the more I like it. When he is around, I will sing very vigorously, with active eyes, gestures..." Every sentence is "he", without name or surname, but every voice is a call, and every word is a heart. Xiaowan's admiration for ancient times broke out, looking at Ruomeiying, her eyes were full of envy, and asked foolishly: "Are you dating? Are you dancing? Did you go to the Bund to take a carriage? What kind of letter did he write his love letter to you on?" Come on? Do you want to put flower petals in the envelope, or sprinkle perfume?" "I want it." Mei Ying smiled slightly, and waved her hand in front of her eyes charmingly, as if mocking herself, "But it's not him, it's me. Every time I write a letter to him, I put my best effort into it. Many, it takes a lot of effort to write each letter. If you don’t know the characters, you have to ask people. Don’t dare to ask the same person, for fear of being exposed. You have to ask separately, different people, at different times, like this , It often takes three to five days to write a letter. After finishing writing, I apply lipstick carefully in front of the mirror, and then print it on the letter paper, which is counted as a signature. I don’t spray perfume, I’m afraid it will cover the smell of rouge. The petals are It sticks to the lipstick, so that it will not be spent. The person who receives the letter will open the petals and see a complete lip..." Such a lingering love.Xiaowan was fascinated leisurely, completely forgetting that she was talking to a ghost, and focused all her attention on the love letter. love letter?This is already a lost game today.Modern people, send and receive e-mails and mobile phone text messages, but also have typos and nonsense.Will they spend all their time asking people for a word they don't know?I don't even bother to look through the dictionary right at hand. "Did he answer your letter?" "No. Not once." "So heartless?" Xiaowan was a little surprised, who could resist such a lovely affection? "But he once gave me a pearl flower, which is the one you are wearing now." Bead flower?Xiaowan smiled awkwardly, and quickly picked off the pearl flower and returned it to Ruomeiying.Wearing someone else's clothes and flowers, how can you blame her for not coming to her? Ruomeiying took Zhuhua and looked at it gently, as if reliving those past events that she could never get enough of. "I love him secretly and boldly. I hint and invite again and again, but he always shirks. But even so, I am happy to think about it now, because there is hope. He came to my play, although I don’t want to, but I come to see my play every night. So I know that he likes me too. But he refuses to meet me in private. The more this is the case, the more I can’t let him go. I think about him in my sleep and dreams I feel so happy when I think about him. I am also happy to be rejected. It was really the happiest day in my life. Every day the sun rises has a special meaning. It is full of waiting and hope. The world is because of him It became different. It took half a year for such a day. Then one day, he finally agreed to me. " "He answered?" Xiao Wan couldn't help cheering.This kind of infatuation has long since disappeared today, making her always sweat in Mei Ying's narration, fearing that it is a story of unrequited love that has never had a climax, and that would be too disappointing.Knowing that the iron stone man finally had a heartbeat, she couldn't help being excited on her behalf, feeling like it.Moreover, she has a strange association, always feeling that the fate of herself and Meiying is closely connected in the dark, if her love can be reciprocated, then so can she. "He agreed? Are you in love?" "Yes, we are in love. He told me clearly that he also likes me. He also gave me beads and wrote a note. He wrote so many articles for me, but that is the only one I have written by him. .” Mei Ying said quietly, such a soft and lingering past, but for some reason, there was no joy in her voice, but a gloomy coldness implied, which made Xiao Wan shudder. "During that time, I was entangled by a Guangdong warlord. I had already sent a message, saying that if I didn't agree, I would rob him. I begged him to find a way, and begged him to take me away. He agreed. We made an appointment to meet in July Thirteen secretly got married that night, and then eloped. We made an appointment. I opened a room in the hotel and waited for him. I arranged a new house, bought new bedding, and embroidered flowers with my own hands... I waited for him for a whole day One night, but he didn’t come!” Mei Ying’s voice became stern, “I want to ask him why he betrayed me. I don’t want to forget, even if I’m a ghost, I don’t want to forget. I want to ask him a word. Love him, trust him, wait for him, but he didn't come. He didn't come. He betrayed me! He betrayed me! He betrayed me!" She looked at the sky, and suddenly had a fit, her long hair flew up, and she hissed and wailed like a wounded beast. At that time, the wind and sand rose up, making the window lattice tremble, Xiao Wan couldn't help covering her ears with her hands, and moaned in horror.What kind of breach of contract and righteousness has caused a woman to be so brooding for sixty years that she will never die, and even if she dies, her soul will not rest in peace? This strong emotion made Xiao Wan tremble, and she could hardly believe the cruelty of the story. When she lowered her hands again, Mei Ying was gone. The painful memories of the past stimulated her. Even after sixty years, even if she has turned into a ghost, she still refuses to forget the hatred she once had. The actress outside the door is still singing: "I've been doing it for a whole spring, and there's no news of fish and geese... The soul will never return..." The room was full of fancy clothes, and Xiao Wan's face was full of tears, but it was no longer because of fear.