Chapter 5 thirty year old first love

"There are three kinds of stretching: the large stretching is used to embroider the edge of cheongsam, so it is called side stretching; the middle stretching is used to embroider the sleeve edges of women's clothes, so it is called sleeve stretching; the small stretching is used to embroider small pieces of children's shoes and women's shoes, It's called stretching..." In front of Luo Hongchen was a copy of "Xuehuan Embroidery Manual", but after reading it for a long time, he didn't read a single line. Her heart is not as indifferent as she appears on the surface.

No girl would be indifferent to the kindness of a man like Zhou Ziheng. Hong Chen is a girl.It is impossible for a normal girl with vanity and dreams of prosperity not to have dreams of Prince Charming and Cinderella.But, deep down, she was afraid that what she was riding on was the pumpkin cart after midnight, the crystal slipper and roses, all of which were just a fragile illusion. The daughter of a poor family can't afford to lose.Because all she has is herself, her pride and her feelings.Obviously, what Zhou Ziheng asked for from her was precisely these two things, the only things she had.If she gave her affection and gave up her pride, and he couldn't cherish it, then what was left of her?

As early as the age of eight, she wrote a sentence in her diary: In order to avoid the pain of loss, I don't want to get it again. That time, it was for a wounded sparrow.The boy next door shot down a sparrow with a slingshot and gave it to her on a whim.She bandaged its wounds carefully, hoping that it would recover and fly again into the sky. It was the first friendship she had in her childhood life, and it awakened all her love and motherhood.She guarded the sparrow for a whole day and night.Feed it water, Xiaomi.But the sparrow just ignored it, fluttered desperately, scattered its feathers, and screamed hoarsely.She was very distressed, held it in the palm of her hand, and tried to persuade: "Little sparrow, I know you want to go back to freedom, you want to go back to the sky."But aren't you injured now?I don't mean to shut you up.I just want to heal for you.Don't worry, I will let you fly away when you recover from your injuries.The sparrow didn't listen to her advice, and was still flopping, struggling, about to fly, but fell heavily to the ground as soon as it left her grasp.She shed tears in distress, and tried every means to calm the sparrow, but to no avail.

The next morning, the sparrow died of exhaustion in the soft nest she had prepared for it, among rose petals and golden sand-like rice grains.Feathers scattered everywhere, eyes wide open, looking at the sky where it can never go back. It is pissed off and exhausted. She cried, and held the sparrow's gradually stiff body and cried all morning. The boy next door saw it and said disapprovingly, "What's so sad? You like it. I'll get you another one." She flatly refused, however. "In order to avoid the pain of losing, I don't want to get it again." Since then, she has known that the best way to protect herself is not to expect too much, and not to expect things that don't belong to her.

Zhou Ziheng is something that does not belong to him.His money, his feelings, do not belong to him. Therefore, she categorically rejected his money and at the same time rejected his affection. But in her heart, she was obviously hesitating and watching. This morning, her wait-and-see results came to fruition—Mei Qi called the office in the morning, specified that Luo Hongchen would answer the phone, and then politely informed her: "Zi Heng was drunk last night, and he still hasn't woken up yet. I want to take care of him, and today we both ask for a day off. The assistant to the general manager has to worry about the company's affairs. "

At that moment, Luo Hongchen fell into an ice cellar. She supported the corner of the table and said to herself fiercely: Don't tremble, don't tremble.What does all this have to do with me?Zhou Ziheng and Mei Qi drink heavily, live together, and both absent from work, what does this have to do with him? But uncontrollably, her body was shivering like a leaf in the autumn wind, icy cold to the bone. It turned out that she cared about Zhou Ziheng, so much, beyond her expectations.She rejects him, but secretly expects another attack from him, and wants him to be chaste for her.But now, she knows what kind of person he is. Asking such a person to cherish feelings and love exclusively, maybe it's like discussing with a tiger to let it take off its fur and make a coat for itself, which is closer to a dream. ?

She looked in the mirror, and the person in the mirror had a pale complexion and intertwined eyes.She is the daughter of a lunatic, she has crazy genes, a tragic fate, and a sad childhood, but she has no luck to ride a dragon.Wake up, Cinderella! "Madman's Daughter". Ever since Hongchen could remember, this title has been following her, as if she had another name for twenty-three years. His father's illness has always been Hongchen's heartache.Grandma and grandpa hated their father, they said it was his father who killed their mother, so they had no sympathy for him, and never visited him, and they didn't have much love for the "madman's daughter", the granddaughter who was forced to accept .Grandfather Luo Changming is a retired soldier. Although he is not rich, the pension is enough to support a family of three, especially since they are not people who require a lot of material things, so they don't have to worry about food and clothing.

However, Luo Hongchen was taught to be self-reliant since he was a child, practicing embroidery skills, from hemming to cross-stitching, until he was able to complete a piece of embroidery independently, and then gave it to his grandmother to sell in the store in exchange for her tuition and rations. The warmth that Hongchen got from childhood was very limited.It left her with a strong love for her father—even if it was just a crazy one.As early as junior high school, she would regularly take a bus across half of Nanjing City, and secretly visit her father in a mental hospital in the suburbs.

His father was very handsome, even though he was crazy, his expression was dull and his speech was sluggish, but the chiseled face still showed what a handsome young man he was when he was good.Time is still for him, and his memory has been frozen since the moment his wife passed away, so it is difficult for the years to leave marks on his face. After these 23 years, he still looks like a young man, and the world of mortals Standing together, not like father and daughter, but like brother and sister. She went to see him, talked to him tenderly, and combed his hair.Sometimes he would be very happy, as if he was a little more sober, and when she was gone, he would ask her nostalgicly, when will he come again?But when she came again, he forgot her again, so everything started from scratch...

After so many years, her relationship with him has never made any progress.Every day, he always stares at a certain place, softly calling "Feiyan, Feiyan", or "Feiyin"? But last month, when she went to see him again, he suddenly grabbed her hand and called clearly: "Xiuxiu! Xiuxiu!" She burst into tears, Luoxiu was her mother's name, and her father regarded her as her mother.He doesn't remember the passage of time, but time has not forgotten him, and has quietly raised his daughter to the same age as Luo Xiu back then.He finally remembered "Xiuxiu", finally remembered her!

She hugged her father and mourned. At this moment, she felt more intimately connected with each other than ever before.Her eyes met her father's. The madman's eyes were not focused, but at this moment Zhou Feng was staring at him so intently, thinking hard, thinking hard, as if he was realizing, thinking, discerning, and confirming bit by bit—— She knew that she was not the real her in her father's eyes, but her mother Luoxiu.She had the same face as her mother, and it was this face that confused time and space and illuminated the memory of her father. In fact, she and her mother are not quite alike. Although they have the same eyebrows and eyes, the lines on the mother's face are much softer, revealing the unique delicacy of Jiangnan women; while Hongchen has sharp edges and sharp eyes, Bring a little toughness that the northerners have.However, blood is thicker than water, and the things passed down in their bones are the same, especially in the eyes of their closest relatives, the similarity is magnified ten times. The doctors in the mental hospital attached great importance to this phenomenon. Cases like Zhou Feng's were rare, and his bizarre recovery was even more of a miracle.He is like an abandoned child forgotten by God, who is suddenly remembered after being lost for more than twenty years, and this memory is realized through the strange blood power of his daughter.The doctor decided to organize a special medical team for Zhou Feng, but this required a lot of money.The attending doctor said that for the past twenty years, Zhou Feng's medical expenses have been provided by a mysterious account.This account will receive a remittance regularly, but the doctor has changed several times, and even the dean has changed, so no one knows who the remittance from the mysterious account comes from. Hong Chen decided to raise the money for her father, and she had to give it a try no matter what.If her father gets better... oh, if her father gets better, maybe he will make up for the fatherly love she has never enjoyed for more than 20 years. After all, he is the closest and dearest person she has in this world! It was because of her father's illness that she was so anxious to try her luck around, eager to find a high-paying job, and because of a beauty pageant advertisement, she suddenly had a whim to "successfully" apply for that excellent job with an annual salary of 100,000, that is, 100% One of the opportunities to try it. Fortunately, she was selected by Zhou Ziheng and got the job; unfortunately, she fell in love with Zhou Ziheng and caused this trouble. Winning or losing does not matter.Hongchen really doesn't know whether his affection for him is a disaster or a blessing, and whether he should be thankful or feel unlucky. But in the final analysis, she shouldn't be moved.If she doesn't move, she won't be sad and won't be humiliated by Mei Qi.This is simply asking for humiliation! She said to herself in the mirror: Luo Hongchen, just because of you, poor, lonely, mediocre, and with a father who lives in a mental hospital, why do you want to compete with Mei Qi for a lover?Stop dreaming, take it easy! She wiped the tears off her face with the back of her hand, picked up "Xuehuan Embroidery Book" again, and forced herself to read it aloud, reading it hoarsely and vigorously, so as to squeeze out all those selfish and distracting thoughts, leaving no room for them. "Needle laying: For example, when embroidering the backs of phoenixes, peacocks, cranes, mandarin ducks, golden pheasants, and anemones, first use laying needles. For the laying, use long straight needles for the edge of the back. Either only the front side, or both sides, and thorn thread. It is full, like laying flat, so it is called laying needles. If the thick thread is only on the front side, most of the ordinary products must have the reverse side. If the abdomen is full, the ordinary products must use double trocars, and the high-quality goods need more needles on the side of the double trocars. .Double suits are light in color, and needles are in darker color.” Needle alignment, needle grabbing, single set of needles, double set of needles, piercing of needles, laying of needles, carving of scales, penetration of flesh into needles, beating of needles... Xuehuan's acupuncture techniques are exquisite and profound. Luo Hongchen read aloud, gradually concentrating, and regained his composure. Even if there is no love in life, at least embroidery belongs to her and can accompany her, comfort her and warm her.Embroidery is like faith to her, and it is a matter of course.It is to seek survival, but also to pursue ideals; it is involuntary, but also willing. From childhood to adulthood, the embroidery frame and embroidery needles have always been her closest friends. Thousands of stitches and threads, colorful and colorful, are the paradise that protects her from the mud.If she doesn't like embroidery and has to, then it will be painful and difficult to earn the necessary living expenses by embroidery; but because she loves embroidery, then no matter how difficult it is for her to survive.It is embroidery that allows her to find a piece of pure land in the turbulent world of mortals, it is embroidery that keeps her heart clean in the midst of struggling to survive, it is embroidery that maintains her tuition and livelihood, it is embroidery that brings her ideals and pursuits of perfection, and it is embroidery. Embroidery taught her to be grateful for all the beautiful things in the world, and determined to use her embroidery needles to retain them and freeze them for eternity. "Books have spirits, paintings have spirits, and so does embroidery. Flowers have their spirits of turning their backs, their backs, and their sides for wind, sun, rain, dew, snow, and frost. Birds and beasts are like flying, Walking, perching, eating, grouping, and being alone have their spirits of caring, joy, anger, restraint, and kindness. The characters of sages, immortals, Buddhas, civil and military, wild, and scholars have their solemnity, charity, elegance, Xiongjie, Jianshi, Liumei, whether old or young, whether sitting, standing, leaning, or lying down..." Everything has a spirit, but the father's spirit dissipated because of the mother's sudden death—or it didn't dissipate, but was temporarily hidden in an unknown place.If she could help her father regain his spirit, maybe she could bring him back to life.Even for her father, she must teach herself to be strong, self-controlled, and not to be defeated. In "Xue Huan Embroidery Spectrum", Hong Chen no longer trembled, but her face was still pale and dazed, as if she was seriously ill. On the weekend, after get off work, Zhou Ziheng stopped her in the elevator: "Hongchen, let's talk." "But now it's off-duty time." "That's right. I deliberately chose to find you after get off work, because what I want to talk to you about is a personal matter." "Sorry, I have an appointment." "Reject your date." Zi Heng said clearly, "Luo Hongchen, why reject people for thousands of miles? You know that I am not a person who gives up easily. The best way to deal with this kind of person is not to escape, but to simply Face it, and then solve it at once. Otherwise, it will only cause more and more troubles." Luo Hongchen stared at him: "Are you threatening me?" "I'm just telling the truth. In the past few days, you've been so indifferent to me. I can't help but know the reason. You keep refusing, and I keep asking, how troublesome!" He suddenly smiled slyly, "But maybe, you are enjoying this process?" Hongchen's staring eyes widened even more, he was angry and funny, and finally he couldn't help laughing: "Okay, what do you want to talk to me about?" "follow me." They went to the "Locomotive Bar". Zhou Zi introduced to Ah Qing: "This is Luo Hongchen, the girl I told you about with low self-esteem and pride." "What?" Hong Chen was surprised again, "What did you tell him?" "Talking about you. Ah Qing said that the most troublesome kind of person in the world is the kind of girl who has low self-esteem and pride, who is a little stubborn and a little cold. Monster, but unfortunately, I just met such a monster." Ah Qing yelled: "Hey, what you said is only half true at most, I never said the word demon." "It's pretty much the same anyway." Zhou Ziheng pointed to Ah Qing and introduced to Luo Hongchen, "This is Ah Qing, the owner of this bar, my best bad friend. He was the one who got me drunk the night before yesterday. Call Mei Qi and move me to Mei Qi's bed, causing trouble." "Hey!" Ah Qing yelled even more, but this time what Zhou Ziheng said was the truth. He "Hello" for a long time, but there was nothing to explain, so he couldn't help but blush. Luo Hongchen was dazed by this series of unimaginable introductions, looked at Zhou Ziheng and then at Aqing in surprise, and suddenly burst out laughing: "This is the first time I've seen a big man blushing." As soon as these words came out, Zhou Ziheng laughed, and Ah Qing's face turned redder. He looked at Luo Hongchen's black silk sleeveless shirt and white embroidered waist-length skirt, and understood two things at the same time: One, why Zhou Ziheng likes Luo Hongchen so much; two, how much Zhou Ziheng likes Luo Hongchen. But when Zhou Ziheng led Hongchen to sit on the hanging chair in the corner, avoiding Ah Qing's sight, the smile on Hongchen's face restrained, and he said lightly: "Mr. Zhou, what you want to talk to me is This matter? I don't think it has anything to do with me." "But it has something to do with me." Zi Heng was a little annoyed, Hong Chen's sudden joy and anger and refusal for thousands of miles was something he did not expect, or rather, he was not used to it, he had never met such a difficult girl . "I just want to tell you that no matter what the relationship between me and Mei Qi was before you came to 'Success', we have broken up since we really got to know you. Because, I plan to pursue you." "And I decided to refuse." Luo Hongchen was not moved by Ziheng's confession at all, and his face was still as plain as water, "Mr. Zhou, I am very grateful for your kindness, but I can't accept it. Let's talk about it once and for all." Clearly, you are not suitable for me, there is no possibility between us, so I advise you, don't waste your time." Zi Heng was really confused this time, and instinctively blurted out: "Why? How could it be?" Hong Chen narrowed her eyes and looked at him mockingly, as if to say, "Why not? Why should everyone accept your love?" But she didn't say anything, just picked up the glass and drank it down, Then she looked at the bottom of the cup from the side, nodded slightly, turned around and left. Ziheng only felt like pouring ice water on top of it, but he didn't know how to persuade him to stay, and he couldn't even think of offering to send Hongchen home, but just sat in his place lonely, watching Hongchen disappearing at the door, not knowing for a long time reaction. I don't know how long it took, Ah Qing passed by while greeting the guests, and was very surprised to see that there was only one person in Ziheng: "Where is that Miss Luo?" "Let's go." Zi Heng said sullenly, "She rejected me." "She rejected you?" Even Ah Qing was surprised, and then laughed.No matter how sympathetic a man is, he can't help but gloat when Zhou Ziheng, the all-powerful lover of the public, suffers setbacks. Zi Heng was even more depressed: "I have never been so disliked by others. She looked at me as if I was transparent. She was so calm and told me so firmly that there was no possibility between us. She said that she would talk to me once. Be clear, let me stop pestering her." "Entanglement?" Ah Qing was a little disbelieving, "That Miss Luo doesn't seem to be so mean." "Yes, she didn't say pestering, she just told me not to waste my time. But what's the difference?" "That's a big difference." Ah Qing glared at him, "You added random words again. You can really distort the facts and add embellishment to Miss Luo just now." "Don't add insult to injury again." He told himself, "Come with me for a drink." "So you get drunk and put you on Mei Qi's bed, and then let you complain to me? I won't meddle in your business anymore." Ah Qing sat down and asked suspiciously, "Do you think this Miss Luo is beautiful? ?” "Beautiful. Very beautiful." "What kind of beauty?" "Her face always has a kind of mournful beauty, a kind of sad beauty that wants to appeal." "I don't think she is always cold and hard." "Her coldness is the coldness she deliberately made to protect herself for fear of harm. In the final analysis, it is a kind of weakness and sadness." Ah Qing was convinced: "You, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. No matter how you look at it, it is amazing. There is a story. In the final analysis, whether it is sad or weak, only you can see it." "Of course." Zi Heng didn't take it as disobedience, "You have to see it, why don't you fight me?" "I don't want to rob you. If you really want to rob, it's almost as good as robbing Mei Qi." Ah Qing was a little uneasy when he accidentally said that he missed his heart.Mei Qiruo's angry and smiling face floated before his eyes again, and even his lips felt the cool and soft fingers with intoxicating fragrance. In order to suppress his selfishness, he said with some concealment: "If you are willing to listen to my advice, I think Mei Qi is really good and suitable for you. This Miss Luo is not bad, but this kind of girl is a different kind. You can’t be obscene and playful, you’d better give up.” "Give up? I won't." Zi Heng drank another glass of wine, remembering the way Hong Chen looked at him at the bottom of the glass just now, couldn't help imitating the way he looked at the other side, and smiled in a daze, "Luo Hong Chen, she is my ideal, I know, if I miss her, I will never meet another one in my life. But Mei Qi, although Mei Qi is good, she can attract ten or eight by advertising at any time, I bet you, when our beauty pageant is over, Jinling Twelve Beauties, including the shortlisted ones, I guarantee that all of them will be similar to Mei Qi, then I will introduce it for you, you can choose whatever you want." Ah Qing was a little displeased: "You don't like Mei Qi, so don't be so contemptuous of her, after all, she is your predecessor. Don't be so ruthless, okay? Don't do to others what you don't want, otherwise..." "There will be retribution." Ziheng laughed loudly, "Ah Qing, why do you speak in the same tone as my grandma, so you should be her grandson. She, the most common sentence is: whore wife and daughter, wife Women must be prostitutes. Everything will be rewarded." Another glass of wine.Looking out from the porthole of the train carriage, you can see that the moon has risen, rubbing tremblingly against the half-waist of the opposite building, as if climbing along the building. Is the moon taller or the building taller? In love with Luo Hongchen, or in love with this challenge? Zhou Ziheng's car was parked downstairs at Luo Hongchen's house. Do you want to go up?Shall I give her a call?Being rejected by her like this is extremely unwilling; but what is the difference between further pursuit and entanglement?Never been so disgusting, never so worried about gains and losses. The bewilderment and ups and downs of youth seem to have started today. He has become a young boy at the age of sixteen or seventeen. Every morning he looks in the mirror and shaves his fluff as a beard. He punches for little things. Wearing new clothes, he would blush when he saw a girl... However, even when he was sixteen or seventeen years old, or even earlier, he had never blush to a girl.He is so attractive to girls, and knows how to be so attractive to girls, that he has forgotten how to take the initiative to like a girl. Luo Hongchen was an experience he had never had before. This freshness and bitterness made his whole heart ache, as if he had lived again, or as if he hadn't lived at all in the past thirty years. For the first time in his life, he learned to suffer for a girl, wait and feel inferior, and drove downstairs to her house, staring at her window in a daze. Luo Hongchen's windows are easy to find, the creamy white gauze covers the light green soft satin curtains with well flowing lines - it turns out that if you love someone, you can love the curtains of her house. Zhou Ziheng really wanted to pity himself. If it was a movie, it should be raining at this moment. He stood in the rain, looked at her window, waited for her to soften a little, and sent him an umbrella in mercy, then he took the umbrella and threw it away. , hugged her and kissed wildly... Or maybe she refused to come down after all, and he got sick, had a fever, and had a bad cold. He lay on the bed and read her name. His family helped him find her. She stretched out her hand to touch her forehead, and he held her. Holding that hand, and never letting go... All kinds of wild thoughts filled my head, the moon had already climbed higher than the building, and abandoned the building far away, drifting towards the west sky. Zi Heng sighed, started the car and prepared to go home, but which home should he go to? The ancients said that Qiaotu has three caves, but he is even smarter. He has four caves: one is the Coral Garden bought for his grandparents, the other is Mei Qi’s noble suite in Meiyuan New Village, and the other is the rest he left for himself in the company building. There is another room, and there is another long-term private room in the Holiday Inn in which he is a shareholder. Occasionally, he will take the lady up... But tonight, at such a time, Ziheng suddenly discovered that the huge world, so many houses, He didn't want to go anywhere, except under the window of Luo Hongchen's house. Even if you can't see your loved one, it's good to see her window.Looking at his watch, it was already past four o'clock in the morning, and he would see her in five hours.In the company, she is his assistant, so she can't avoid him anymore, can she? Another five hours.Or a little earlier.Hong Chen goes to work at nine, so he should leave the house by eight, or even earlier if he takes the bus.Maybe she will go downstairs after seven o'clock, and it is less than three hours from now. He has been waiting for so long anyway, so why not wait any longer? Zi Heng was suddenly full of strength.He felt that he stayed here for a long time tonight, as if he was originally here to pick up Hongchen to go to work. The reason was very good, very suitable, and it couldn't be more suitable.He even got a little excited, thinking that he could save Hong Chen the hour of taking the bus, maybe he could have breakfast with her and have a cup of coffee. Which hotel's breakfast is more famous and the environment is more satisfactory? When the moon floats to the extreme west, it becomes pale, as if anemic, and gradually only a shadow remains. People had come out of the small building one after another, but Luo Hongchen was not there. He waited and waited, not daring to blink, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, already nine o'clock, it's past time for work, why hasn't Luo Hongchen appeared yet?She is never late.Could it be that she didn't come back here last night?Or is there another exit from this small building?Did he miss her shadow?She is already at work? Zhou Ziheng called the company: "Is Miss Luo here?" The secretary replied: "Miss Luo sent a fax." "What content?" "It's a letter of resignation." Resign? ! Zhou Ziheng felt another basin of cold water poured on his head, and his whole body was icy cold.Resign?She was so determined to disappear from his life.When he just realized the true meaning of love and really started to learn how to love someone, she wanted to disappear without giving him any chance to fight.She is so tolerant? I have never seen a woman who can do things so absolutely, without leaving any room. He shook his hand and dialed a number. It was Luo Hongchen himself who answered the phone. "Yes, I decided to resign." Her voice was so calm that it was disgusting, "I thought I made it very clear in the bar yesterday. There is no possibility between me and you, so it's best not to have any Forms of communication and contact." "Do you think that I am a person who does not distinguish between public and private?" Zhou Ziheng asked, his voice was strangely hoarse, "I pursue you, and it has nothing to do with whether you come to work or not. Work is work, and personal affairs are personal affairs. There should be no principle." "I'm sorry." Hong Chen apologized lightly, without a trace of sincerity. "I am not a conscientious and good employee, and I have failed you." She failed him. As an assistant, he failed his respect; as a woman, he failed his love. She failed him too much, owed him too much! Zhou Ziheng didn't want to force it anymore, it would be too meaningless to keep pestering him. After waiting for a whole night, from the moonset to the dawn of the sun, he did not see her after all. The moment the car started, his tears fell. He actually shed tears for a woman!