Chapter 2 lamp in the wind

Ji Tianchi's awakening caused an uproar in the Lu family. Mother Lu immediately blamed her son: "Lu Yue, why don't you hurry up and get my good wife back?" Lu Yue just held his head and remained silent. Chen'er looked at her hands, sighed and sighed, but didn't speak.Ji Tianchi lost his memory, which she never expected.In the past two years, she imagined countless scenarios of Tianchi waking up, and even dreamed that Tianchi woke up, holding her hand and calling Chen'er. In fact, she never felt that Tianchi really left her.Whenever there is wind, Lu Chen'er will light up a lamp and softly call out to the vast night sky: Sister Ji, Sister Ji.

Tianchi loves lights.Tianchi said that behind every lamp is a family, and the happiest thing is to light up a lamp and wait for the one she loves to come back.However, she never waited for the person she loved, so she was discouraged, and even tried to extinguish the lamp of her own life for a time.It was Chen'er who pulled her back. In the past two years, Chen'er has been carefully turning on the lamp beside her bed for Tianchi. She firmly believes that the light will definitely tell Tianchi that she is waiting for her, waiting for her to come back. Today, the dream soul of Tianchi has finally returned.However, she lost her memory, the past, her previous marriage, and her brother.Fortunately, she has not forgotten herself, Lu Chen'er.

Chen'er didn't know whether to be sad or happy. Doctor Cheng Zhifang said that this kind of forgetting is actually a kind of self-protection awareness.What Tianchi forgets are all people and things related to feelings. This is because those people and things once brought her deep pain and constituted the direct cause of her sinking in the water. Therefore, she forgot them, which is why It's called selective amnesia. Chen'er was a little dissatisfied with Cheng Zhifang.Tianchi slept for two full years, even the doctors had given up, but miraculously "survived" again, everyone said it was her credit, she bowed her hands and said "it's Doctor Cheng's ability" for the sake of modesty.Unexpectedly, Cheng Zhifang really took it as a big truth, from now on he regarded himself as a benefactor, followed Tianchi in front of and behind him, and regarded her as his exclusive property.Chen'er looked very angry, but there was nothing he could do. After all, the Lu family was the one who was sorry for Tianchi first, so they couldn't stop other men from being tempted by Tianchi just because the Lu family quit Tianchi, right?What's more, in Tianchi's memory, there is no place for her elder brother Lu Yue, so she has no reason to stop Cheng Zhifang's pursuit and "monopoly" of Tianchi.

And Cheng Zhifang also said that since Tianchi doesn't remember Lu Yue, it means her subconscious is still resisting this memory, so it's better not to stimulate her, so as not to relapse.Chen'er expressed doubts about this theory, thinking that it was Lao Cheng's selfishness, but he could only obey. Cheng Zhifang is a psychiatrist and a professional, so what can he do if he doesn't listen to him?Who would dare to take the risk of making Tianchi sick?So no matter how much she felt sorry for her brother, she could only say nothing. In the end, Xu Feng came out to smooth things over: "Mom, it's like this. Ji Tianchi just woke up and couldn't remember many things at once. The doctor said that she needs to rest for a while and get used to it slowly. It's not convenient to see guests."

"Guest? I'm her mother-in-law." Mother Lu was displeased. "It's the ex-mother-in-law." Chen'er reminded, "Mom, Sister Ji has already forgotten about her brother, and she doesn't even remember that she was married and divorced. Suddenly, your big family appeared in front of her, both husband and mother-in-law. , she won't be able to bear it." "Forgot?" Mother Lu turned pale, "Tianchi will forget me? I don't believe it. She is so obedient and filial, how could she forget me?" "Then why don't you take a gamble? Let's see if Tianchi will meet you in sorrow and happiness, and then pass out from excitement and never wake up again?" Chen'er snapped angrily.

Mother Lu was even more upset: "What's your attitude? Talk to your mother like this!" "But the truth." Chen'er said sadly, with tears in her eyes, "Mom, don't forget, it was our family who was sorry for Tianchi first, and it was my brother who made her like this. Forgot, what face do we have to remind her to remember?" "Then you don't want her to reconcile with your brother?" "No one hopes more than me that Sister Ji will be my sister-in-law. It was my brother who didn't cherish her and divorced her, so he threw her into the sea, causing her brain to flood and become a vegetable..." Tears flowed down, Chen'er's voice Choked up, "Sister Ji's waking up is tantamount to living again. She has forgotten all about the past, who dares to remind her? Who can guarantee that if she remembers the past, will the tragedy happen again?"

Lu's mother was stunned for a while, then asked slowly: "So, did she say what happened before she threw herself into the sea?" Chen'er shook her head: "She said she didn't remember." Lu's mother sighed, stared at her son deadly for a while, gritted her teeth and cursed: "It's all because of you." Lu Yue lowered his head, buried his face in his hands, and did not say a word from the beginning to the end.At the bottom of his heart, there were two words repeatedly: Tianchi, Tianchi, Tianchi... Tianchi.Lu Yue always remembered the first time he saw Tianchi.

In this room, during the dog days, the whole family went out, and he played the guitar at home by himself, topless, howling and howling.Suddenly the doorbell rang, opened the door, and saw Tianchi.With delicate features and graceful features, facing Lu Yue's disheveled attire, he was neither humble nor overbearing, with a graceful smile.She came to find Chen'er. That was the first time they had met, but he knew who she was and she knew who he was.She said: "I am Ji Tianchi, you are Lu Yue." She was very confident. After many years, Lu Yue still clearly remembers Ji Tianchi's light and watery smile at that time, that smile has been engraved in his heart and will never be forgotten.

Ji Tianchi was not beautiful, but Lu Yue was still deeply amazed. It was she who told him for the first time why his daughter was made of flesh and blood. cold water. Fluid and clear. Although silent, but changing rapidly. From then on, he started a hard pursuit, and finally he was as sincere as he could, and he and Tianchi got a marriage certificate, took wedding photos, and even finished decorating their new house.However, just before the wedding, some doubts and an affair separated them... Lu Yue hated it.He hated those mistakes, and hated himself even more for his ignorance and narrow-mindedness.If life could be repeated, he would not be so stupid and cruel.He will cherish Tianchi well, hold her hand, and never let go for a minute, until he grows old together with her.But, will Tianchi give him this chance?Will God give him such happiness?

If life can be repeated.Chen'er said that Tianchi's waking up is equivalent to living again.Tianchi has come back to life, what about myself?Can I say goodbye to the shadow of the past and live again? For a while the room fell silent, only Lu Yue's suppressed sighs could be heard, other than that, there were no other sounds.Xu Feng couldn't bear it, so he came over and patted Lu Yue on the shoulder: "Brother Yue, don't be too sad. Doctor Cheng said that Tianchi will get better day by day. Your business may not be hopeless." Lu Yue finally raised his head, and said with determination: "Chen'er, make an appointment with Old Cheng for me, I want to chat with him."

Cheng Zhifang is at Tianchi's house at the moment, peeling apples for her, while comforting her in every possible way: "Wake up is the greatest success, you don't even know how great you are. It doesn't matter whether you remember the past or not, the important thing is to create the future There is only one special case of waking up among tens of thousands of vegetative people, and many reporters want to interview you. But I will stand in your way for you, fearing that you will not be able to handle it.” "Thank you, Doctor Cheng." Tianchi said sincerely. Calling him "Doctor Cheng" is so distant and polite.Cheng Zhifang shook his head: "This sentence has been repeated more than a dozen times almost every time we meet since you woke up. But you know that this sentence is not what I want to hear." Tianchi lowered his head, feeling at a loss.Cheng Zhifang is a good doctor, he is always so calm, serene, like a breeze.People say "like a spring breeze", is this kind of person they refer to? Under the guidance of Dr. Cheng, Tianchi has gradually remembered many things, including who Cheng Zhifang is.Cheng Zhifang is an old friend of Tianchi, and he can't remember how he met him, but he knows many things about himself, and he seems to know him very well.He is a psychiatrist, single, and he runs a small but famous psychiatric clinic with a bright future.The most important thing is that he has a good opinion of himself, an extraordinary good opinion.It was because of this good feeling that he had been waiting for her for so many years. When everyone was desperate for her, he still did not give up, waiting for him to wake up without complaint or regret.In other words, he loves himself.He was wooing her in a unique way. Even after sleeping for more than 700 days, even if his mind can't return to the clarity and quickness before going to bed, Tianchi can still clearly understand Cheng Zhifang's deep love for him.She tried her best to recall every bit of her getting along with him, but she couldn't remember whether she had made any promises to him before.She asked tentatively: "I heard from Chen'er that you and her brother are college classmates?" Cheng Zhifang was taken aback, and said flatly, "The same school has different departments." "Why never heard you mention it?" "It's just a nodding acquaintance." Cheng Zhifang replied in a concealed manner, and handed the apple and the medicine bowl to Tianchi, "I'm not very familiar with it either—come on, you should take the medicine." Tianchi smiled bitterly: "Take medicine, take medicine, everyone who sees me tells me to take medicine, as if I'm just a medicine jar, and I don't have to do anything except take medicine." "Who said that? Didn't you invite a teacher to teach you Chinese painting tomorrow?" Cheng Zhifang sat up and put his arms around Tianchi's shoulders, "What lesson did you learn?" Tianchi instinctively gave way to the side, Cheng Zhifang realized his impoliteness, and couldn't help it.He didn't mean to belittle her. For the past two years, Tianchi had been in a deep sleep, and when he fed her water and medicine, he always hugged her shoulder with one hand and held the medicine bowl with the other. He had already mastered this action very well. flow.But the Tianchi in front of him is alive and fragrant, it is no longer the vegetable who sleeps in his dream and is at his "mercury". Cheng Zhifang let go of his hand and said, "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry for you." Tianchi stretched out his hand, took the initiative to hold Cheng Zhifang's hand, and said seriously, "Give me time, I will think about it." Lao Cheng was immediately moved. He stared at the woman who made her desperate, this is Tianchi, she is pale, weak, sensitive and reserved, even though she is recovering from a serious illness, even though she has forgotten many things, even though she doesn't really remember Cheng Zhifang, she is still kind Be considerate and considerate of everyone around you. Cheng Zhifang never regretted his decision and waiting. "I'll wait for you." He said firmly and poignantly, "I will wait until you are willing to tell me that you are willing. All these years, I have been waiting for you to wake up, looking for hope in despair, and it has never been too long. I don't care Just wait a few more months." Tears welled up in Tianchi, choked with sobs: "I..." I wished I could agree to his marriage proposal right away, then put on a wreath and walked him onto the red carpet, and told him to watch over her for two years life-saving grace.Cheng Zhifang really has nothing to say to her, which can be called "benevolent to the utmost of righteousness".If you don't marry him, you will have no conscience, and the laws of heaven will not allow it.What's more, she has no money, no power, and even no memory, so how can she repay her other than promise with her body? However, the shadow of the strange man under the window flashed in her mind, like a lock that appeared out of nowhere, making her shut up what she was about to say, leaving only the most pale sentence: "Thank you. " Cheng Zhifang was slightly disappointed, and was about to say something more, but his cell phone rang without knowing the current affairs. The person who called him was the person he least wanted to see——his rival in love, a college classmate, a "friend who nods" Tianchi's best friend, Tianchi's ex-husband, Chen'er's elder brother, Lu Yue! There is a "Shui Wuyou" tea garden at No. 4 Gangwan Street, Dalian, which is the old place of Tianchi and Chen'er. They can still clearly remember the last time they met here after Tianchi's accident. Right next to this table.Chen'er, Lu Yue, Cheng Zhifang, and Wu Zhou—yes, Wu Zhou, the name that Tianchi has loved so deeply for more than ten years, and whose name Lu Yue hated thousands of times—the four of them exchanged tea with each other. When drinking, Wu Zhou finally understood Tianchi's intention clearly from Chen'er's mouth, and Cheng Zhifang clearly expressed his heart for the first time in front of everyone: "I am in love with Tianchi! I want Wait for Tianchi to wake up and wait for her second life. I have no chance to participate in her previous life, but I will book her next life." What could make a man's life worse than saying that he fell in love with his wife in front of his face? However, Lu Yue had no right to object.Not even angry. Not only can't, but today I have to humbly ask this person to allow me to see my wife again. Only because her identity is no longer a husband, but just an "ex-husband". Ex-husband, what a stinging term!Why did I want to be so hysterically jealous and slanderous, to take double betrayal as revenge for my marriage, to give up my husband's title so easily, to be bitter and blamed, neglected, alienated, until Tianchi was forced to surrender ocean?If life can be repeated, if life can be repeated... Lu Yue drank the familiar Pu'er in silence, the strong tea was like wine, turning into tears of lovesickness.Once upon a time, he and Cheng Zhifang were brothers in love and talked about everything.However, ever since Tianchi drowned, they turned against each other. Although the voices of chickens and dogs have been heard, they have never communicated with each other.Today, this pair of old classmates and old friends finally met again.This place again, these people again, as long as Wu Zhou is replaced by Xu Feng, you can go back to two years ago.And the oath that Cheng Zhifang once made here has been revived again, echoing in everyone's ears, it is resolute and cannot be forgotten. ——"I want to wait for Tianchi to wake up and wait for her second life. I have no chance to participate in her previous life, but I will book her next life." Even if life comes back, it belongs to Cheng Zhifang, not Lu Yue, right? Lu Yue drank tea one cup after another, obviously treating tea as wine, the more he drank, the redder his eyes became, and he felt full of words, but he couldn't say a word. Chen'er sat beside her, seeing her brother's face full of thoughts, she couldn't help but speak out for him: "Old Cheng, I want to arrange for my brother and sister Ji to meet, is that okay?" "I'm not sure about this." Cheng Zhifang carefully considered his words, "But she just woke up, and her mind has not fully recovered before the onset of the disease. My personal opinion is that it is better not to irritate her." Lu Yue became impatient: "Old Cheng, don't be so bureaucratic. Just tell me not to see her, why bother to be so literal." Cheng Zhifang coughed and didn't speak. Chen'er gave Cheng Zhifang a sneaky look, but could only laugh and say, "Sister Ji didn't even remember you when she just woke up. Didn't she gradually remember it later? Maybe she will think about it a little bit when she sees my brother." It might be good for her recovery." "It's two different things." Cheng Zhifang smiled bitterly, "She remembers me because I never caused her any pain. In fact, it's not only the pain, but I didn't leave any impression on her at all. So, instead, she will made an impression on me." "Doctor, are you talking about tongue twisters?" "Almost, a blessing in disguise. To put it simply, she doesn't care about me, she doesn't care about remembering me, and she doesn't care about forgetting me, so, by accident, she remembers. Moreover, when she was sick, I was always by her side. In a word, reading newspapers to her and chatting with her every day has buried a deep shadow in her subconscious, so she has an impression of me. And your brother, and that Wu who owed her life Zhou, but she forgot all about it, it was because they made her suffer.” "Wu Zhou who owed her a life" is such a good description.Alas, who owed whom a life?The love in this world is always one person owes another person, and it is rare for two people to be willing to share equally.However, getting a couple like Wu Zhou and Tianchi, who have to pledge their lives to keep the purity of love, can be regarded as an unrivaled romance.The grievances between Tianchi and Wu Zhou can't be explained clearly even after three days and three nights.Maybe, my brother was an intervener from the very beginning; even more maybe, I shouldn't have brought my brother to fall in love with Tianchi in the first place. Chen'er sighed: "I understand. What you mean is that she rejects all painful memories, so she forgets all the people and things that caused her pain, and what she remembers are some innocuous stories of old people." "It doesn't matter. Hehe." Cheng Zhifang smiled wryly again and coughed, "In short, she has subconsciously avoided all the memories that have brought her emotional harm. This is a typical feature of selective amnesia." "So does it matter?" Chen'er asked, "There are often such plots in TV dramas. Usually, for a person suffering from amnesia, her relatives and friends have to find ways to help her retrieve her memory and let her remember the past again. In this way, her illness will be completely cured, and she will truly become a normal person." "This is a matter of perspective. From the perspective of a psychiatrist, everyone has mild or severe mental illnesses, and amnesia is just one of the more obvious ones. We ordinary people sometimes forget everything subconsciously, She will also actively choose to lose her memory, which is actually not a disease. For the memory that the patient is unwilling to keep, it is a good thing to forget it. Because since she chooses to lose her memory, it means that she is unwilling to face this memory, so forcibly letting it go She remembered it again, it was a new injury to her psychologically, so why bother? Especially in cases like Tianchi, who is sensitive by nature and recovering from a long illness, it is too stimulating for her, and it is hard to predict what will happen Consequences. Therefore, it is better to respect her instinctive will, let her freely choose to remember or forget, and let everything take its course." Chen'er and her brother looked at each other helplessly.This old Cheng goes around and around, in the final analysis, it is actually one sentence: don't let Lu Yue see Tianchi. Lu Yue smiled wryly, drank a cup of strong Pu'er in one gulp, and said sadly: "Old Cheng, I have nothing to say, so treat Tianchi well." After finishing speaking, he got up and left, staggering down go upstairs. Chen'er looked at her brother's back and sighed deeply.She knew that her brother must have gone to the bar to get drunk again.Ever since Ji Tianchi fell into a deep sleep, her brother has always been like this, always half drunk and half awake, even when he is not drinking, he is also in a daze, and she is used to seeing this in the past two years.But now that Tianchi woke up, her brother was only more sad, which made her feel distressed again. She turned around and asked Cheng Zhifang: "Old Cheng, tell the truth, don't you want Tianchi to recover your memory at all?" The story of Tianchi was published in the newspaper, and friends soon came to hear the news, with rich smiles, curious eyes, and many questions—— "Do you dream when you are asleep?" "Do you feel like you have passed through a very dark and long passage? People who come back to life on TV say that." "Do you remember me? Do you feel uncomfortable seeing familiar things? How good is your speaking ability?" Chen'er felt disturbed, and told Walnut to decline guests in the future.If they were really friends, they wouldn't be the icing on the cake at this time. Neither she nor Ji Tianchi needed such excitement. But Tianchi was not disgusted, she was eager to hear human voices, even if those conversations made her embarrassed, she would not hesitate to do so.It's just that after being separated from the real world for two years, it's quite difficult to return to the crowd. Her hearing and vision are not enough, and her eloquence is even more dull. Chen'er comforted her: "You were not a sharp-tongued person before, you were usually very silent." "Before I got sick..." Tianchi begged, "Chen'er, tell me more about my past." "When we were in college, we slept on and off the bed, but at night I often climbed to the lower bunk to live with you..." "I have an impression of this." Tianchi smiled, "What else?" "Your favorite drink used to be coffee, but I like ice cream, one black and one white, one cold and one hot. My brother joked and gave you an English name of 'Columbia' and called me 'Haagen-Dazs', saying The two of us together are 'cappuccino'..." Tianchi was surprised: "Is it a drink? How could I remember it should be 'Tang Poetry' or 'Song Ci'?" "You misremembered. That nickname also exists, but it was picked by Xu Feng. He said that you are sad and beautiful like a poem, and I am fragrant and exquisite is a poem. It's really nasty." Tianchi laughed: "At that time, how easy it was for us to be happy." hapiness?Chen'er shook her head, no, it's not that easy, in her memory, she has almost never seen Tianchi truly happy, maybe when she was just married, but that was so short.She sighed a little, Tianchi didn't remember who her brother was, she had no impression of Lu Yue, and she didn't respond when he mentioned him. Tianchi went on to say: "You don't seem to like to talk about what happened after we worked, and whenever you recall, you start talking about your student days. It seems that it's you, not me, who suffers from amnesia." "This is the symbol of old age." Chen'er laughed at herself, "Old people can remember things that happened a long time ago, but they may not remember what they ate yesterday morning." "In this way, in fact, everyone suffers from amnesia, but the degree is different." "It's best if you're willing to think like this." It's obvious that Chen'er doesn't want to talk too much, "Actually, the past is over, if you think about it, you can remember it, if you can't remember it, you can't remember it, why bother." "You mean, we should mourn and accept the change, and bury the past as our ancestors?" "It's almost the same." Chen'er ended the conversation, "There is nothing in the world, and nothing is disturbing." There are many common sayings in China that can be used everywhere. A sentence can be taken out anytime and anywhere, and it can be used as the end of the article, playing the role of finishing touch or superfluous. Tianchi decided to find the answer by himself. She opened a drawer, hoping to find something like an old diary or a phone book.But she only found a stack of letters, which were bound into a book. On the title page, it was written in her own handwriting, but the content was neither poetry nor text, and she couldn't understand a single sentence.Among them is this paragraph: "Brother Wu Zhou, you finally walked out of my sight forever, and you didn't even leave your back. From now on, on your spring night, who am I to you? And when I stand by the window with Qiuyue alone, you Who is mine again? The fog in London cuts off my sight, and I can't even be considered a passer-by in your life, a touch of embellishment in your life, but just a wisp of smoke at the end of your eyes when you occasionally look up.And how much I long to be a wisp of smoke, to follow you forever, to accompany you forever..." what is this?Is it her excerpt notes?Which novel is the dialogue in?Or, she once loved a man named Wu Zhou, so she wrote so many undeliverable letters to him?If so, where did this Wu Zhou go later?London?What kind of story did he have with himself?Could it be the one standing downstairs? The man is almost a landscape, a picture—a still life at that.I don't know why, every time I see him, Tianchi's heart feels like being bumped lightly by something, with a faint tingling sensation.Who is he?Why so sad?Tianchi instinctively felt that that man seemed to be related to him.Did he come out of his dream? The twilight fell from the window, and Tianchi sat under the window with his knees hugged, struggling to search the depths of his memory.There was a needle that pricked her gently there, making her feel the vicissitudes and unspeakable pain, but she just couldn't remember it.She has no impression of this man, she has no impression of love. The memory is filled with many messy images and sounds, but she can't sort them out, as if the library cards in a whole library have been turned over, stacked together and unable to return.The man under the window is also one of the cards, right?He looked so kind, so familiar. Tianchi said to herself, when he comes next time, she must go downstairs to say hello to him.