Chapter 2 2. Sex dancers and underground lovers

I didn't know until tonight that the self-balancing method that Nian'er once said was to perform as a stripper in a nightclub. She finally danced solo. But can that count as dancing?She twisted her snake-like slender waist, took off her clothes layer by layer like shedding skin, and at the same time made various seductive gestures to arouse the most primitive desires of the audience. The guests booed and smiled ambiguously. What they admired was the dancers, not the dancers. I heard people sitting next to me comment: As long as you are willing to spend money, you can buy her to appear after the performance, and the highest price wins.

Suddenly I became deaf and could no longer hear other sounds. Buy out, the one with the highest price wins, the dancer.How can all this be compared with my dear roommate, the proud and beautiful Xia Nian'er?How can such a person live in the same room as me? I regret walking into this place tonight, regretting knowing all this by accident. What makes me regret the most is that when I knew all this, I had already established a deep friendship with Nian'er. I questioned Xiangru: "You know she is a stripper, why did you introduce her to me?" Xiangru said disapprovingly: "Striptease is also a dance. How can the salary of a ballerina actor afford such a high rent? Where can I afford Chanel clothes? I thought you had already thought about it."

I am silent. Xiangru said again: "Remember? Nian'er said that witches are dancers, and dancers are witches. In ancient times, witches and dancers were the same concept. This is not only the case in China, but also in many western countries. But Nian What I didn't mention is that witches are also prostitutes at the same time. As early as the Yin and Shang Dynasties, witches and prostitutes have been one. "Shuowen" says: "Women who can do things invisible and dance to descend the gods are called witches. And witches are against gods." Sacrifice, besides dancing, there is copulation.'”

Xiangru has always had an extraordinary interest in prostitutes, whether it is the ancient Qinhuai Bayan or today's strippers, she always responds with deep sympathy.At this moment, she sighed in such a compassionate tone: "She is already twenty-three years old. If she cannot dance her head at the age of twenty-three, it is tantamount to announcing that a dancer has terminal cancer. As long as she does not bring guests to Come home, do you care where she dances? As long as it’s not monogamous, what’s the difference between having sex with one person and having sex with ten people? This sentence stung me, and I fell silent immediately.

If you persist, you will not be principled, but naive.Besides, I was really reluctant to break up with Nian'er, so I had to follow what Xiangru said: as long as the guests are not brought home, I don't care which stage she dances on? As long as it's not monogamous, having sex with one person and having sex with ten people is just a joke, isn't it? I know that Xiangru's words are not aimed at me.Her diction has always been sharp, trying to shock the world, and her words are astonishing, and she doesn't know that Maize is married.Yet I was still deeply stabbed. Is it as degrading to be a sexy dancer under the eyes of thousands of obscene eyes, and to be an underground lover of a married man?

For several days in a row, I was entangled in this problem and was infinitely troubled. How did you walk into this cocoon step by step? When I meet a man I like, I am attracted by his every move, I want to be a friend with him to drink tea and chat, I deceive myself into thinking that it is just a friendship, and continue to communicate with each other... Until one day, he took me home and bought me an ice cream cone on the way. I ate quite embarrassingly, my hands and face were sticky, afraid of rubbing my silk clothes, I stood by the side of the road afraid to move, and asked him to wipe my hands and mouth for me.

He rubbed so intently that I didn't know what was going on until he kissed me. He kissed with the same concentration, as if he had been waiting to do this for a long time.I melted into his arms like that cone melted into my palm, gradually sticking together. When I returned to the residence at night, I couldn't calm down the agitation in my heart for a long time, and stroked my lips over and over again—the lips that he kissed just now, I couldn't believe that everything just now was real. Only then did I realize that I had been waiting for this day for a long time. From the first time I saw him, I was already dying to kiss him.Presenting VIP cards, drinking tea, chatting, and dating are all just for this day and this moment.

It's not that he wants to bind me, it's that I bind myself in a cocoon. I am afraid to discuss the topic of love with Xiangru again.She is so wise, clean, and spotless, she has her own views on everything, she does not object to Nian'er dancing for a living, and she does not necessarily approve of me developing an underground relationship with a married man. Even I don't necessarily agree with myself. If it's for love, maybe I can be a little more confident, but Corn never says love to me. Corn often praised my talent. He said that I fascinated and amazed him, that he missed me and liked me, but he never said he loved me.

Love is his forbidden zone, but it is my shackles. It was I who fell in love with him first, so I lost the opportunity at the beginning of the relationship, and it was a complete failure. Thinking about it, I feel inferior to Chanel. Bathing at night, looking at myself in the mirror, I only feel that this body is riddled with holes and worthless-Chanel can sell it for money, how about me?If you can't get love by giving yourself, isn't this giving yourself humiliation? When a woman gives her body, she always likes to give her soul as well. I can't separate the two.But he doesn't want my soul.

He does not love me.He does not love me.He does not love me. If it's for love, I can at least give myself a reason not to turn back, but if he doesn't love me, I become worthless. Not worth a penny. I close my eyes and let the tears flow down, hoping that I can cleanse myself, start over, and find a beautiful love. When we saw corn again, there was inexplicable grievance and pain.I stroked my arm, longing for his embrace, but afraid of his touch.He noticed it and asked me gently what was wrong. In fact, all the pretensions today are for this question, but he really asked, but I don't know how to answer.

"Would you be friends with a dancer? The kind that strips in a nightclub?" "Striptease?" He froze for a moment and looked at me scrutinizingly. I don't know why I suddenly asked such a topic, but once I asked, I was relieved.I longed to share my confusion with him, to confess to him even though he would never share his thoughts with me. "My roommate, named Nian'er, I told you, that ballet dancer, her part-time job is a nightclub dancer." "Are you depressed because of this?" Corn laughed. "It's someone else's choice. Unless she asks you for help, you can ignore the nature of other people's work." "You think it's a job?" "Work hard and get paid, what is it if it's not a job?" Corn laughed, "You are a little white rabbit, and you want the world to be a big carrot field. It's impossible. There are foxes, wolves, and hedgehogs in this world." Ah, wait, wait, that's why the weak eat the strong, and the fittest survive. Don't be too demanding. If the water is clear, there will be no fish. Make friends because she treats you well, not because she is perfect." I am so troubled, not because Xia Nian'er is not good, but because I want to treat her well, but I am afraid that she will not be worthy of my kindness to her.Is that right? "Look over there." Corn pointed out the window and asked me, "Seeing them, will you still find fault with your roommates for being exposed on occasions they shouldn't?" I was puzzled, looked out the window, and couldn't help laughing.It was an open-air fountain square with lights, and many red men and women were playing in the grotesque and splashing middle schools.It’s only early summer, but they can’t wait to return to nature—the men are topless, while the women’s thin blouses are wet and revealing—they are indeed more exposed than Chanel, at least they are still on stage Dance, and they, at most, can only be regarded as a group of demons dancing wildly. Corn's few words solved my knot, he can always be so right, I can't help laughing. At that moment, I suddenly realized, watching him smirk with infinite admiration. There are two situations for being nice to a person: either you ask her to be as good as you imagined; or you imagine him to be the best in the world. I have done both of these things well, but for my different boyfriends and girlfriends-I am picky and not as perfect as I imagined, but I regard corn as perfect and reflect on every word of him as a warning motto-I am really a human being The kind of "the opposite sex but no humanity" that is often said is worthless. When I got home, I made an extra detour to get Chanel's favorite macadamia fruit pizza to go. She was very happy and said that she would repay me with a sweet kiss and a romantic legend. Apparently she never noticed my indifference a few days ago and my unusual hospitality today.But Xiangru noticed. She winked at me, gave me an encouraging look, and actively participated in our conversation, asking, "What legend? I also have a share." "More than one cup." Nian'er smiled, "You can also share a third of my pizza." She turned to me, "Are you ready to hear the story? The title is called Xiangyunsha. Hongyan, you know about Xiangyun Is it the legend of yarn?" "Xiangyun yarn is a very rare and rare silk. It is commonly known as kaosha, also called ranunculus silk. It is as soft as nothing when worn on the body. It is warm in winter and cool in summer. The longer it is worn and washed, the better the feel and color. It is a very old and traditional tradition. A natural silk material. Its unique dyeing trick is that it is soaked in the sap extracted from the stalk of kudzu, or ranunculus, sealed with mud, left for a period of time, and then exposed to the sun and other processes." I know everything Said, "It is precious because every process of making yarn is completely handmade - silkworm rearing, silk reeling, yarn weaving, kudzu dyeing, mud sealing, and exposure. The achievement of a piece of yarn takes two full years. ...Of course, it is not so particular now, so Xiangyun yarn is almost a kind of legendary yarn today. Just like loyal and unswerving love, it is almost a kind of legend among men and women in today's world , and no longer natural." I suddenly felt inexplicably disheartened, and ended my speech hastily: "In short, Xiangyun yarn is just a synonym, symbolizing the most precious yarn." Nian'er smiled: "Why did you start the yarn washing class? What I'm talking about is not the legend, but the legend about love Gu." "Love Gu?" Xiang Ru was very interested, "Speak, talk, I like listening to stories the most. What is the legend of Love Gu?" "Wait a minute, there must be atmosphere in listening to the story." Nian'er bounced around to turn off the lights, turn on the stereo, and do enough homework. I smiled, knowing that I would see Nian'er's bewitching dance again. The prelude is a story telling—— "As Hongyan said, every process of Xiangyun yarn is purely handmade. It takes two years from silkworm rearing to yarn making, dyeing and sealing. It is said that in this process, if someone knows Plant Gu, raise your own love Gu together with silkworm babies, weave it into silk, make it into underwear made of fragrant cloud gauze, and let your loved one wear it next to your body, that person will fall in love with you for the rest of your life. Forever." "I haven't even heard of it." I was amazed. "Where did you hear it?" "What if the Gu planter changes his mind?" Xiangru was also curious. Nian'er smiled triumphantly: "Wonderful, isn't it? It is said that unless the person who planted the Gu voluntarily relieves the Gu, the person who wears the Xiangyun gauze underwear planted with love Gu will love the person who planted the Gu wholeheartedly for the rest of his life." , and only with his (her) company can they live a normal life. Once the two are separated, the voodoo person will spend his whole life looking for his (her) voodoo master. If he (she) cannot find it, he (she) will miss him Crazy, thirsty to death." "So powerful?" Xiangru was stunned, "How is this different from taking drugs? I don't like this story, it smells like blood." "I would like to have such a dress." I was fascinated, "My store name is Xiangyun Sha, I wish I could have such a dress, put it on my beloved, let him love like I love him I." Xiangru disagreed, saying: "But a beautiful love should be pleasing to each other and willing. If you want to guarantee the love by using a Gu spell, is it love or insanity?" I disapproved and said: "The reason is not important, the result is real. As long as you can stay with the one you love for the rest of your life and grow old together, it's not love, it's love. Don't care if it's insanity? Who in love is not a fool?" "I support Hongyan." Nian'er smiled heartlessly, "However, I believe that no matter what kind of man Hongyan falls in love with, she doesn't need love Gu, and doesn't need any fragrant clothes, as long as she looks at her and gestures, I will love her." Guarantee that man will fly over with his tail flying straight to worship under his skirt, and do as he is told." "I wish I had that kind of charm." I sighed, "The truth is not half as perfect as you imagined." Nian'er shrugged, spread her hands like a foreigner, bent her legs in a bouncing posture, and said lightly, "There's nothing to sigh about. If that man doesn't know what to do and doesn't want a perfect girlfriend like you, then He's either blind, or he's not meant to be with you, and he's not worthy of love." "Is it that simple?" "It's that simple." Nian'er clapped her hands, stretched her arms, and began her closing statement, "There are only two kinds of love in this world: one is two kinds of love; one is when you love me and I don't love you, and the other is Or I love you but you don't love me. There's nothing to say, just give up, the next one will definitely be better than this one, it's not necessarily such bad luck, you will meet the same man every time you turn around." "If you were really in love, you wouldn't be so chic." I admit that I feel a bit resentful when I say this. But Nian'er's cuteness lies in choosing the good. She never considers whether there is malice in other people's words, does not think wildly, and does not play word games.She always discusses the matter, and only expresses her opinions on the surface: "When I really love, I will love, don't think about who loves more, and don't think about how far away forever, I will enjoy this moment, this person , enjoy love itself. I won't bother others." The considerate Xiangru turned the big knob at the right time, the music sounded, and Nian'er began to dance, clapping her hands, raising her sleeves, kicking her legs, spinning, flying out of her cocoon like a happy moth. I couldn't help but sigh again, when can I break my cocoon and become a moth? I don't have Xiangru's classic love, nor can I compare with Nian'er's unrestrained and open-mindedness.If my love never sees the light of day, maybe I will become a chrysalis that cannot transform into a butterfly, trapped in the dark, and never wait for spring. Staying in the shop the next day, looking at those soft and gorgeous silks, and typing the manuscript on the silk with chalk, I couldn't help thinking about the discussion about love Gu again. ——If I can also have a love Gu clothes and give it to Corn, will he love me like I love him? Since when did you fall in love?First kiss, first official date, or earlier? I used to give my love story a very romantic definition: love at first sight. But was it really love at first sight?Or is it just an occasional stop by a butterfly flying through the flowers? Even if Hua'er is willing to spend her whole life to let the butterfly stay for her, but if the butterfly comes and goes, how can Hua'er keep it? A flower has no wings, it cannot follow butterflies around, it can only wait. When an unmarried woman falls in love with a married man, it is like a flower falling in love with a butterfly. She has already lost from the beginning. She has lost her reserve, lost her innocence, lost her dignity, lost her principles and positions. It was I who sent it to my door. It was me who attracted bees and butterflies and refused to be alone, which led to today's passivity and humiliation. Clothes, sleeves, skirts, hairpins, eyebrows, eyes... The woman in the painting is gradually taking shape, just waiting for the finishing touches. Xi Shi became famous and wrote eternal legends with her own body.Why did she throw herself into the river?Not all sacrifices will be worthwhile, not every beauty can be immortal, what shortcomings does she have?Why does it have to end with death?If she threw herself into the river to avenge her shame, what would she clean up?Was it Gou Jian who used her, Fu Chai who insulted her, or Fan Li who failed her? But it is also possible that she threw herself into the river because she has always missed the days when she washed yarn by the stream, the plain, natural and carefree life before she became famous.At that time, the fish were sinking and the geese were falling. She dipped her wrist into the water and gently washed a newly woven yarn.The cloud swims in the sky as well as in the water. She sings, a song without words, and she is happy with the birds in the forest, as happy as the wind.But later, Fan Li came, and he told her that there is a feeling in the world called love, and there is a kind of love called sacrifice. He dedicated her to Gou Jian, and Gou Jian dedicated her to Fu Chai, so she sacrificed, for Gou Jian, for Fan Li, for The country of Yue.She did it, so the winner became king, the loser became a ghost, Fu Chai hanged himself, and she threw herself into the river.No king is willing to let others know that his country was bought by a woman's body, and no lover is willing to admit that he once asked a woman to sacrifice for him in the name of false love, so Xi Shi can only throw himself into the river. She is flesh and blood made of water, and she returned to the water again to continue her dream of washing clothes. She painted it, but Xiangyunsha? Who did she give her fragrant cloud gauze to? Xi Shi successfully seduced Fu Chai, this girl who was born in Lingbo probably knows how to plant Gu?Otherwise, why would Fu Chai be so fascinated by her that he would overwhelm the country and the city? The sad thing is that Xishi has only woven a piece of fragrant cloud yarn in her life, but she can't dedicate this yarn to her lover for love, but planted a love gu on her enemy against her will.She wins success, but loses love. Tears dripped down and fell into Xi Shi's eyes.Xi Shi burst into tears, as if she was revived. The store door was pushed open at this moment, and when I looked back suddenly, I couldn't help being stunned, as if I had been struck by a gu.The woman who came in had dignified but vague eyebrows, graceful and lazy posture - I just met him in Burka a few days ago, who is not the wife of corn?