Chapter 22 Twenty-two, past and present

Huang Chang thought about it all night, and cried all night. However, when Zhuo Wen came to the hotel the next morning, she finally fell asleep.The body is curled up into an S shape, covered with a thin woolen blanket, which is deeply sunken at the waist, and because it can't be seen clearly, it looks extraordinarily thin and lonely.Even in a dream, she was restless, her brows were frowning, and her long eyelashes were shaking uncontrollably. Zhuo Wen didn't disturb her, and quietly sat down opposite her.He has known Huang Chang for so long, and has been a husband and wife for half a year, but he has never looked at her so carefully and thoroughly.

She is so beautiful, as beautiful as a dream, her light eyebrows, delicate cheeks and black hair are like a dream, even her slight breathing is like a dream. He couldn't believe it was his wife. In this world, it is impossible to have such a clean and clean person. In a troubled world, you have to do your best to insert a pair of feet, so how can you squeeze a soul into it? But she can, her soul seems to be able to exist without the body, even if the world dies and the sun dies, her love is still high above, existing alone and brightly.Everyone lives to live, but she only lives for love.

She loves him and he loves her too.Yet how does he bear her love? In Shanghai, they got married but had no home, so they had to borrow the private room of the hotel to meet; in Fengdu, it was his home, but not hers, and they still only met in the hotel.The world is so big that there is no place that can accommodate a man and a woman who love each other. From the day they met, they were parting.Again and again, constantly parting.Meeting is also for a new parting.I always feel that there is not much time, and I always feel that fate is limited. I chase after each other, and I need to meet more and love more.

But now, it has finally reached its limit.There is no future. The past and the past rushed to his heart, and he suddenly felt sadness coming from it. He couldn't help it, grabbed Huang Chang's hand, buried his head in her hand, and printed tears and kisses on her palm, only to find that her palm was scalding hot. Zhuo Wen was taken aback, and put his hand on Huang Chang's forehead for a try, and it was really hot, so he suddenly realized, no wonder her cheeks are delicate and beautiful, and she was caught cold and fell ill.He hurriedly pushed her to wake her up: "Huang Chang, wake up, what do you think?" However, Huang Chang only opened his eyes slightly, his eyes were blurred, and fell asleep peacefully after turning around slightly.Zhuo Wen called again, but he couldn't wake him up no matter what.

Zhuo Wen only felt his head buzzing, his heart was beating wildly, and he shouted: "Little Er! Xiao Er! Please come to the doctor!" He stumbled and his forehead became red and swollen, he didn't care about the pain, he got up and ran to the counter, gave Xiaoer a few change notes, and ordered the best doctor in the town to come quickly . Xiao Er received the reward, so there was no reason why he was not good at doing things, so he quickly brought an old Chinese doctor with a white beard in a long gown. It's a demigod.Zhuo Wen calmed down a bit, and hurriedly invited to Huang Chang's bed, the old Chinese doctor stretched out his sleeves, and put it on Huang Chang's wrist, he was surprised at first.Zhuo Wen was already impatient: "Doctor, how is she?" The old Chinese doctor was not in a hurry, and straightened Huang Chang's wrist again, concentrating on taking the pulse.Zhuo Wen didn't dare to urge him, and only stared at the doctor's face, wanting to see how ugly Zi Wu was from his expression.

The doctor waited for a while, then rolled Huang Chang's eyelids to look again, and asked, "I don't know how your Madam eats?" Zhuo Wen replied: "She just came from another place yesterday. She couldn't eat for a day, vomited blood again, passed out once, but woke up soon, so she didn't care." After hearing this, the doctor took a pulse again, groaned up to the sky for a while, and then said carefully, "Your Madam's pulse condition is thin and weak, her lips and cheeks are red, her tongue is dry and her tongue fur is white, her dreams are chaotic and sleepless, her bones are hot and hot, her body energy is weak, and her valley energy is weak." Invincibility is due to yin deficiency. According to my opinion, his illness is not a short-term illness. It should be that before he came here, he was already ill. Before healed up, he traveled long distances, was overworked, and suffered from internal injuries. Bitterness, wind-cold symptoms, coupled with depression of mood, deficiency fire internal attack, no upper energization, lower gastral cavity blockage, and stomach qi heat, hot qi suffuses the chest, so internal heat. Rigid aversion to cold, slight internal heat, alternation of cold and heat, as for unconsciousness .”

Zhuo Wen listened to him rambling for a long while, but couldn't quite understand it, until finally he heard the word "not awake", he was shocked: "According to you, this disease is not good?" The doctor shook his head: "That's not necessarily the case. Madam, although both cold and heat are injured, but those who are tired are warmed, those who are injured benefit from it, nourish the middle and raise the sun, and prescribe the right medicine, such as headache with vines, dizziness with Gastrodia elata, heart palpitations with skullcap, qi stagnation with tangerine peel... ..."

Zhuo Wen didn't have time to listen to him showing off his medical skills, so he urgently urged: "Doctor, don't be fooled, and tell me how to revive him. When she recovers, I will hang a plaque and ring a gong for you, and kowtow to thank you." The doctor smiled slightly, got up and gave a salute, said "dare not" in a serious manner, and then continued in a wordy way: "I don't necessarily mean that the wind and cold are minor illnesses. It's just that the old lady's old symptoms have not been cured, and there is another New illness, the body is weak, the spirit is not good, the mind and the mind are both weak, and as a result, I am not awake. However, after I take these few doses of medicine, the internal and external harmonize, it may not be bad. However, doctors can cure all diseases, but they can’t cure them. They can only do their best. And it’s okay to listen to fate.”

Zhuo Wen heard that he dropped his schoolbag for a long time, and it was nothing more than a scam. He was angry and anxious, so he could only say: "The doctor just prescribes the prescription to save people, as long as my wife is saved, the doctor asks for the consultation fee." But the doctor became humble again: "Where there, the doctor heals the sick and saves the people. He has the heart of a Bodhisattva and the heart of hanging a pot. How can he be greedy for money and things?" Zhuo Wen dealt with him patiently for a while, Fang finally got a prescription, and hurried to the pharmacy.However, there are only a few herbal medicines, but there is a medicine called "Asarum", which is unavailable, and I am so anxious that I see sweat on my forehead.

Those who run a pharmacy naturally have some medical skills, so the shop owner came up with an idea and said, "Maybe we can replace it with Artemisia annua." Zhuo Wen hesitated: "Does it work?" The shop owner said: "Why don't you make it? Although Asarum is the cheapest medicine, it is the most rare. Every time I get this medicine, the shop always replaces it with Artemisia annua. So far, no one has died from eating it." Zhuo Wen was quite displeased when he heard this, but he had no choice but to follow his advice. Back in the store, because I was worried about Xiao Er decocting the medicine, I personally stood by the fire, warmed the work over a small fire, boiled three bowls of water into a bowl of medicine, woke up Huang Chang, hugged my shoulders with my left hand, took the medicine with my right hand, and fed her with my own hands. .

Huang Chang's cheeks were red, and his star eyes were half-opened. He drank it with difficulty, and then fell asleep again.Zhuo Wen stood by the bed, held her hand, watched her for a long time, and unknowingly, tears flowed down his face. Huang Chang slept and woke up for three days in a row, and on the morning of the fourth day, she was finally fully awake. Woke up.But she didn't move, silently watching the man in a dilemma who was tormented by pain and guilt in front of the bed - Zhuo Wen has been sleeping on the floor in her room for the past three days, guarding her all the time. This is the dearest person in her life, how did she fail her? ! He failed her.He said that he would love her for the rest of his life and never leave her, but after all, he failed her!Huang Chang, who was sick, was extremely weak, so weak that she even shed all her pride and strength. She once asked Zhuo Wen: "Don't abandon me, tell me, where I am wrong, and I will correct it." Zhuo Wen felt great pain in his heart, but he still gritted his teeth and replied: "You are right." She is right!Only because there is no mistake, there is no way to correct it. Huang Chang's tears flowed out again.She remembered that when she first met Zhuo Wen, the two of them were walking on the road one day, and when they encountered a student parade, her blood boiled for a moment, and she wanted to join it.But Zhuo Wen grabbed her, eyes full of bitterness and embarrassment, and said: "Don't go, I don't want to go to the police station tomorrow to release you on bail." Confinement, and then bond extortion. You, too, have a share of it?" Zhuo Wen looked at her, his eyes suddenly turned cold.The distance between them suddenly became farther.Immediately afterwards, it happened that Jiaxiu came to talk to her and asked her to cut off contact with Zhuo Wen, so she followed suit and broke up. If we really broke up at that time and never communicated again, maybe all the tragedies that followed could have been avoided.But helplessly, since two people like that meet, they are destined to fall in love.From the day he met him, he occupied her whole life, leaving no room for him. It's not that no one pursued her. At the beginning of her fame, she once mocked Xiang Jiaxiu as a master of both sex and art. With her family background, the top figures in Shanghai Bund, both black and white, would be proud to sit with her.She didn't worry about not being able to hang the golden tortoise, so she could support the two of them. However, she got to know him, and since then, she has never seen anyone else except him.She knew that she would shed tears for him, and she had been like this since the first day she saw him. Every time they met, she would always be wet with tears, but this was her fate, even if she could foresee it, she couldn't avoid it. She remembered the wedding night again, when they went boating on the West Lake, he asked her: "If I offend you, what would you do?" It is also in the water and in the fire, never regret. No matter what you want me to do for you, as long as you say a word, I will be a mountain of swords and a sea of ​​fire, and I will definitely go away with a smile." She doesn't want him to do anything for her, she just wants him not to abandon her, and even this is not possible. He promised: "In this life, I will never betray you, and I will never teach you to shed a single tear for me." But he failed her after all. She shed tears and broke her heart for him, but he just couldn't see it.He betrayed her, and he failed her after all!He failed her!But what can she do? Looking at this heartless person, her man, what else can she do except shed tears? "What will happen to you if I offend you?" No, she can't. She can't be the white lady who "floods the golden mountain and washes the whole city with blood", and can't be the Asura who is "stubborn and stubborn, and revenges every revenge". She can't even "punish with tears for a lifetime, Teach you to be uneasy". Even if he betrayed her, she still loved him, and couldn't bear to add to his misery in the plight of his escape. She remembered that time when he came back from Nanjing after being wounded, and told him about the former Minister of Police Li Shiqun, saying that he himself would die unexplainably at some point. At that time, she was frightened and kept saying: " You won't, you won't." But now she knows, maybe not.People are in the rivers and lakes, and they can't help themselves. Zhuo Wen has too many involuntary things in his life. But after all, he is still alive, and there is no guarantee that he will be able to see him again tomorrow. She began to cherish him sincerely.Time is running out, just staring and hugging is not enough, where is the time to complain? She decided to forgive him.All forgiven. As long as she still loves him.And he once loved her. She lowered her head and inserted her hands deeply into his hair, tears dripping down his neck. Zhuo Wen also woke up, and the first thing that caught his eyes was Huang Chang's tearful face.His heart suddenly became weak.In the early morning, it is the most real and weakest time in a person's heart, completely undisguised. At this moment, he did not expect that the current situation is turbulent, the future is bleak, and he does not think that love is less than justice, wise and safe. He just wants to be with her forever, forever not separated. For a moment, he revealed his true feelings, stepped forward to hug Huang Chang, and called weakly: "A Chang." Huang Chang cried, hugged his neck, and said with difficulty: "I know you want me to leave, but I want to take a good look at you. I will leave after a few more days, and I will definitely leave." Zhuo Wen was taken aback for a moment, then fully awake, she finally agreed to leave, agreed to break up.For the past few days, what troubled him most was how to persuade her to let go.Unexpectedly, she finally agreed without waiting for him to speak.He just felt relieved, but at the same time, he shed tears: "If you want to go, you have to wait until you recover from your illness, so that I can rest assured. When you recover from your illness, I will spend a day with you in the ghost town. " It's a ghost town, and the two of them walked on the road of yin and yang, so they became two ghosts—it would be fine if they were really ghosts, but they still have to go back to the human world.In the human world, there are more troubles and depressions waiting for them than in the ghost domain, and the obstacles are more decisive than the different paths between humans and ghosts. Along the way, Zhuo Wen kept telling some legends about the ghost country Fengdu.In fact, those Huang Chang have seen in, ,, and "Liao Zhai", but they are still willing to listen to him.When repeating those legends while walking on the Yin-Yang Road, there is a kind of eerie intimacy, as if the dead are telling the living about the past life. "It is said that in the Han Dynasty, there were two Taoists named Yin Changsheng and Wang Fangping. They became immortals on this Pingdu mountain and ascended in the daytime. Later generations read their names together and called them 'Yin Wang', and this capital city, It became a 'Yincao Difu' and 'Ghost Country'. There are Naihe Bridge, Jade Emperor Palace, Ghost Gate Pass, Huangquan Road, Meng Po Tower in the city..." "Does Meng Polou still sell Meng Po soup?" She asked, "When I was young, this was the most talked about by the elders." "What are you talking about? Did you say that after drinking Mengpo soup, you will forget your previous life and remember the past? I think this is a good thing. Life is full of hardships and hardships. This life is already unbearable, and you have to remember it in the next life." Wouldn't it be harder to go?" She glanced at him and hesitated to answer. It's already spring, but the coolness is still deep. The leaves of the winter trees have fallen and danced desolately with the wind. In my eyes, there is a kind of bleak autumn.The two of them walked all the way across the Naihe Bridge, passed through the gate of ghosts, and crossed Huangquan Road, and finally came to the front of Meng Po's building. There was indeed a woman selling tea in front of the building, but I don't know if her surname was Meng. Zhuo Wen picked it up, took a sip, and said with a smile: "So this Po Meng is from Beijing, and she sells big bowls of tea." He was joking, originally hoping to alleviate the depressive atmosphere of parting, but Huang Chang didn't appreciate it, but picked up a bowl of tea and poured it all on the spot, saying: "I don't want to drink this Mengpo soup, and don't forget this life. Sure enough. There is reincarnation, I will definitely remember you again, I still want to find you, and renew the fate of this life." Tea crawled like a snake, and soon got into the ground, into the underworld, and could never be reborn forever. In fact, what is the difference between drinking and not drinking?He had made up his mind to forget it before he drank it.If you decide to forget, there is nothing you can't forget.But I don’t want to forget, even if I drank all the Mengpo soup in the world, I still can’t forget it. Helplessly, a person as smart as her can't understand the simplest truth in this world. He sighed and said: "I hope you can understand me. Over the years, I have struggled hard, from a farmer with no background to a high-ranking government official. I have harmed people, saved people, been assassinated, and I have saved people who assassinated others, hunted people everywhere, and now I am hunted again, I am tired. Now, I just want to hide in this mountain village, there is no Manchukuo, and there is no Wang government, just quietly and simply Live. Ah Chang, I know you are good to me, but I am a fugitive now, and I don’t know when I will become a lonely ghost on Huangquan Road. I can’t even protect myself. What can I take to bear you? ? I can only beg you to forget me." She still refused, looking into his eyes, stubbornly and clearly, word by word: "No, I don't want to drink Mengpo soup. I don't want to forget you. If there is reincarnation and an afterlife, I am willing to forget me Who am I, but I will not forget you, I will look for you everywhere from the moment I landed, until I am with you again." Her voice softened, begging, "Just, Zhuowen, you must wait for me, Promise me, don't rush to marry another woman next time, you understand?" Zhuo Wen couldn't help crying. Roaming in the rivers and lakes, he is a person who walks around with his head up every day, and he has long regarded death as home.But Huang Chang's heart-breaking words made him feel a kind of pain.Why didn't he know that in this life, he couldn't meet someone who loved him without complaint or regret like her, but in this troubled world, he couldn't afford her love for him. She is so noble and supreme, but he is small and filthy, like bleached and dyed indigo cloth that can never be rinsed clean.Being with her would only bring unsolvable pain to both of them, but leaving her would at least relieve him. He can no longer go back to Shanghai with her, but he can't imagine her staying with him in the countryside, or wandering around the world.Their love needs a grand view garden to bear and nourish, but what he can give her is a barren land, so barren and narrow that there is no place to stand.He can't even contain himself, so how can he contain her love? This life is over, he can only allow her to come to the next life. He only drank half of the tea in his hand and spilled it, he said: "Okay, then let us not forget. What is drunk is the hatred of the country and the family, and what is spilled is the gratification of two feelings. In the next life Goodbye, I hope I don't have to remember the war and escape in this world, but I will remember you." This is a promise, a promise made in this life but fulfilled in the next life. However, the past was cut off in two. However, is the past completely broken? They embraced each other and continued to walk forward without speaking for a while.All I could hear was the gurgling of the brook, the bursting of forest waves, the road narrowed suddenly, and the bushes became denser and denser.The green trees in the mountains are real green trees. The leaves are thick and clean, reflecting the sunlight bit by bit, like jade like emerald green, dazzling people's eyes.There is also the chirping of birds, which is also like being washed by spring water, with a kind of transparent clarity. However, in Ghost Domain, the mountains and forests are the mountains and forests of another world, and the sunshine is also the sunshine of another world.As she walked all the way, when she heard the sound of water, she couldn't help wondering whether the stream flowed into the underworld; seeing the bird, she couldn't help wondering whether the bird was the ghost of a young girl who died young.In short, everything is parting, and it is also sad. After walking for a while, the corner of a building appeared on the top of the forest. Going closer, I saw carved pavilions and embroidered pillars, and three large characters written on the lintel - "Wangxiang Terrace". The two went up the stairs hand in hand, and a few bats flew out of the open window on the upper floor. They were messengers from hell, and they made a special trip to welcome the two newly arrived ghosts.But here are two people, not dead yet, still angry.So they circled around twice, and then flew away again. However, their demonic aura remained, casting a shadow of death on the upper floor, and even the sunlight suddenly dimmed. Huang Chang covered his head with his hands, looked southeast, and said, "Shanghai is there, right? Or, I should be looking at Beijing... Looking at the hometown, looking at the hometown, but I don't know where I am. Where is hometown supposed to be. We are all rootless people.” Her words were faintly blown by the wind, and her hair brushed against Zhuo Wen's face.He looked at her as if it was the first time he saw her, and it seemed it was the last time.At this moment, he didn't regret everything he had done for her. Human life is so short, what can we do and gain?It is said that after death, before reincarnation, one must return to the world, pick up the footprints of one's previous life little by little, and collect them all, so that one can be reincarnated and start a new life.From Fengdu to Shanghai, he walked a long way, but he didn't have many footprints walking with her. Now he knows that those days are the most beautiful memories of his life.Some couples can grow old together, but maybe they haven't really loved each other for a day; there are also some, like them, who don't have much time together, but they are deeply in love and unforgettable. He said with emotion: "I have no roots, but you are my roots. No matter where I will go, the ends of the earth, or the ghosts, you just need to know that I will always have you in my heart, and that's enough." Wangxiang Terrace is the last nostalgia of the undead for the previous life.Leaving this Wangxiang Terrace, the water is far away from the mountains and the mountains are high, and the soul is gone. Go up the tall building alone, looking at the end of the world.At the end of the world, the world of mortals is billowing, turning into fly ash. This is the place to make wishes, but she found that there was no resentment or wish in her heart, and the only thing she cared about was still him.She turned her head and murmured sadly: "Don't go back to the road if you don't donate, work hard to add food." He couldn't hold it anymore, turned around and hugged her, exhausted all his strength, and embraced her with his whole life: "Forgive me, I was not spotless before I met you. But please believe that in this life , you are the last woman I love, and no one can match your half." She said: "But you are the first one I love, and I believe it is the only one. I will remarry in the future, but I will not love again. It's like I will still be alive, but I will no longer be happy." These are two living people, who also have love and affection, but they want to make a farewell on the lookout stage.Never see you again, just to see you again is not you, it is better to remember the past.Wave your hand without taking a cloud?Easier said than done.Even if you don't take it away, can you not keep it? What was left was a broken heart. She thought of her mother's love, which was a real farewell, because of death, it is eternal. They are also a farewell, but because both of them are alive, what is eternal is not love, but melancholy. However, they finally had to part ways. Standing on the hometown-looking platform, she sang that old prophecy-like song intermittently in the wind: "You are the seven-story pagoda, and I am the wind chime on the eaves of the tower; You are the boundless white snow, I am the claw on the snow; You are the rushing waves, and I am the rock on the shore, waiting for you all my life. " The singing was torn apart by the mountain wind and fell in the mountain stream. The bell was hoarse. The snow melts into clouds. The sea is dry and the stone is rotten.