Chapter 4 Chapter 4 Yangjian: The Invisible Lover

Rachel and Lingzheng have been in love for six years, and they have separated and reunited and quarreled countless times. But this time it seems to be a little out of control. When Rachel walked into the cafe and proposed to break up with a cold face, Ling Zheng was taken aback for a moment, thoughtful, as if he really planned to think about this proposal.Time stopped suddenly, and Rachel almost cried out, regretting too much, she was really afraid that Ling Zheng would really say "Okay then" after thinking about it. It was only a pause of a few seconds, but Yu Ruiqiu seemed to have passed half a lifetime. All the fragments of her and Lingzheng from the time they met to the present were all passed in silence at once. The past that was so full and true was because of these few seconds The blank of the clock becomes worthless.

In the end Ling Zheng didn't agree to break up after all, but he wasn't as nervous as before, rushing to coax her to persuade her, but just showed tiredness and confusion, and said in a daze, "Rachel, stop making trouble." After he said this, Rachel was even more annoyed, but she really didn't dare to make trouble anymore.She is a smart girl, she can have a little temper, but she will not be impulsive. She can see that if she adds fuel to the fire again, it is very likely that she and Ling Zheng will really be over this time.And she hasn't figured it out yet.Although she said "Lingzheng, let's break up", it was just an introduction, meaning that he wanted him to coax her and give him a chance to confess and repent, so as to end the invisible grievances between them and stop the relationship between them during this period of time. of the Cold War.

An important program for all lovers when they are dating is to misunderstand, argue, make amends, and reconcile as before. This process of quarreling is actually a shortcut to communicate and communicate well. A noise is also good.When two people's natures and thoughts agree with each other, they only want to seek common ground while reserving differences, but a little conflict may reveal their sincerity.If the time and scale of the quarrel can be well grasped, not only will the relationship not be alienated by a little disagreement, but it will only become better and more harmonious. Rachel knows how to adjust the timetable and heat meter of the quarrel, knowing when to negotiate gently with the other party, and when to put down her body to have a big fight, giving herself a reason to vent, and giving the other party a reason to vent. A chance to show masculine tolerance and generosity—that's how husbands are made.It is said that "the husband is the husband who measures", but the measurement scale is determined by the woman. Only when it is loose and tight can the measurement site be continuously expanded.

But now, she felt that her territory was being lost every inch, for an invisible woman—not only Wuyan couldn't see them, but they couldn't see Wuyan now, and they didn't even know whether she was dead or alive.However, they were fighting coldly because of her, alienated, and even faced a breakup. How ridiculous! Rachel decided to visit Grandpa Zhong. When she was a child, Grandpa Zhong used to be the god in Rachel's mind.A knowledgeable professor, a kind elder, a gentleman who never makes mistakes, and a powerful person who can turn the world around and change the fate of others with just a word.

Before Zhong Ziming, Rachel had never seen a person who was nobler, more noble, more authoritative and higher-level than him. Rachel's home is in a shanty town. When going to school, she has to pass a vegetable market, and to go to Wuyan's home, she has to pass a meat market.She passed there in a clean sweater and clean hair, smelling all over her body. She often came to Zhong's house with such a smell. Wuyan always smelled the smell of raw meat before hearing Rachel's footsteps. Rachel's footsteps were light and her smile was bright, but she was always a little tired——Meat Market Not only did her smell stain her sweater and hair, but it often stained her expression and smile.

Zhong Ziming felt sorry for the girl and thanked her for being with her granddaughter. He didn't want her smell to contaminate his granddaughter, so he tactfully proposed that she could live in their home and be with Wuyan as a company.His words were gentle and tactful, and he was courteous even to a little girl, as if he were inviting a dance to a young lady.Rachel happily agreed, saying that she would go home and discuss with her parents before answering. She went home and told her, and her parents agreed, and they were also very happy—they have food and housing at Zhong's house, and they have good food and housing. What reason is there to refuse?Naturally, the Rui family is not short of food and clothing, and they don't expect to take advantage of some food and clothing, but the Zhong family is a big family, so it won't hurt to make friends with the young ladies of the Zhong family.Moreover, as the daughter grew up day by day, it was somewhat inconvenient for the siblings to live in the same room. It would be best if she was willing to move out. Her lower berth could be given to her younger brother to sleep in, and his upper berth could be used to do chores.

Rachel was a little taken aback: So where do I live when I get back? Mother replied: I still live in your own bed, and my younger brother sleeps on the sofa in the living room. It was not intended to let her come back for a long time, it would be fine if it was a rest.Because of this, Rachel understood what her parents meant. She packed up her simple clothes and moved out that night without saying anything, walked through the meat market all the way, and came to Zhong's house with the smell of raw meat all over her body. When Zhong Ziming heard that she was going home to discuss with her parents, she thought that she would always have to think about it for a few days and then prepare for it. She came in, showed her the new room, and kindly said that it hadn't been well furnished, because it would be arranged according to her wishes after she came.If she has any opinions, she can tell the housekeeper, Grandma Wu, and Grandma Wu will help her with everything she needs.

The Zhong family was very considerate, and Rachel almost cried at that moment.Suddenly, I felt a little distressed. After that, she and Wuyan called Zhong Ziming Grandpa together.Grandpa Zhong arranged for her and Wuyan to enter school together, and they always went to the best schools and classes, and they sat at the same table, going to and from school together, inseparable. Rachel's feelings in her heart are actually complicated, she feels like the second lady of the Zhong family when she goes in and out of the Zhong family's car; but she feels like a maid when she follows Wuyan and points her fingers.

Speaking of which, Wuyan has the figure of a dove with a sparrow tongue, and because she desires to express and communicate, she can't help being noisy, chirping morning and night; Rachel has the posture of a sparrow and the eyes of a dove, with a kind of gentleness in her small air.When the two were in front of people, Wuyan always said that Rachel was smiling; behind their backs, it was Rachel who told Wuyan to teach her the ways of the world and relationships. Rachel is the kind of girl who looks docile and easy-going, but is competitive in her heart; she has no face but is stubborn on the surface, but she is full of compromise in her heart.One of the two is low-browed and pleasing to the eye, always answering any question and saying thank you no matter what they give, the other is full of gratitude and takes it for granted no matter what the other party does; The more you want to look higher, the other is that you know that the pitch is easy to break, but you still have to earn a high and low, and you refuse to settle for everything; although easy-going is not the same kind of easy-going, nor is arrogance the same kind of arrogance, but the right way, the same goal, still seems to be the same. They are a pair of close friends, even sisters are not as close as they are.

Fast forward more than ten years, their friendship seems unbreakable, even with Ling Zheng, it still remains unaffected.This is due to the efforts of both of them: Wuyan is suppressing her own thoughts and pretending to be ruthless, and Rachel is hiding this secret and pretending to be ignorant—the two of them hit the same button again, breaking a relationship that might have been broken. Their friendship was saved by concerted efforts. When I think about it carefully, there is almost no quarrel between them, which is not like ordinary little sisters, because the friendship of girls is always inseparable from petty tricks to make episodes.But the two of them are so easy-going and so proud, so careful and so demanding of perfection, that they didn't even give each other a chance to quarrel.Maybe once—

When she was in her senior year, Rachel found a part-time job, and the first time she got paid, she said she would treat Wuyan to dinner.Without a smile, he said that earning money is so hard and he doesn't save some money, why waste it on eating. Rachel said seriously that I have long wanted to treat you to dinner, not only to eat, but also to buy clothes as gifts for you. No matter how much money is spent, it will be a waste of money, just treat you to dinner without wasting it, and you can save everything but give it to you Buying clothes can't be saved, why tell me to eat you and wear you for so many years. Wuyan listened with a smile on her face, thinking that Rachel was saying how much she cared about her and how precious their friendship was, but she couldn't laugh anymore after hearing the last sentence.Only then did I realize that Rachel felt wronged in being friends with her. The meal was very silent, the clothes were shameless and they were rarely worn. After that, they became estranged a lot for a period of time, and their talking and laughing were a bit stiff, fake and polite.Soon Rachel moved out of the dormitory and rented a house off-campus to live with Ling Zheng. Rachel has always planned to live together with Lingzheng, but she chooses to do it at this time, and to show Wuyan a little bit of it, it means revenge and showing off. Afterwards, they naturally reconciled, and they didn't mention this incident to each other, as if it never happened, or they didn't remember it when it happened. That was the only quarrel they had, and I don't know if it counted, because there wasn't even a word against each other. It was Rachel who lowered her head first, and Rachel went back to school first to find the faceless one.She thought that without Wuyan, she would be at a loss, but in the end, she couldn't support herself anymore. She was not used to having someone like Wuyan let her take care of everything. She found that she liked to take care of others, Also control others. Then I graduated.In the beginning, she and Wuyan had the habit of talking on the phone once a week, saying that they were safe, but they rarely mentioned Lingzheng. Maybe there was a shadow of him in what she said, but Wuyan didn't ask about it. rise.After another year, even the phone was cut off, and this person Wuyan gradually withdrew from her life completely, like a lemon yellow leaf, caught in the book of years and pressed at the bottom of memory. For her faceless crush Lingzheng, Rachel has always been a little triumphant, but she has no malice.She knew that Wuyan was unhappy, but she never thought how sad she would be, and because Wuyan buried her feelings too deeply for too long, Rachel pretended not to know at first, but then she got used to it and really ignored it. She thought they both knew that she would marry Lingzheng, and Wuyan would be her bridesmaid.She thinks that Wuyan will meet another lover in the future, and will eventually get married. At that time, both of them will be old, become someone's wife, mother, or good friends, and they will get together to talk about the past, At that time, maybe I will talk about this matter from the beginning, as a joke, and feel that youth is fleeting by the way. In fact, Wuyan would love Lingzheng so deeply, she never thought of it.Girls like Rachel are not ignorant of feelings, who is interested in whom, they are always the earliest insight, observant, and quite good at playing some love skills and tricks; but most of them will not understand too deeply And strong feelings, thinking that it is only something in novels and movies, if it happens around me, I will turn a blind eye and think it is normal. Secret love is something that happens once or twice in everyone's life, right?But how can someone have a crush on another person for six years? Rachel can't do it herself, so she assumes that neither can anyone else. But Wuyan would die for Ling Zheng! die.What a price.How can one love another so relentlessly? When Rachel saw Wuyan collapsed in Ling Zheng's arms and closed her eyes, she was thinking, it's over, Wuyan is dead, Wuyan will never open her eyes again, even though she can't see anything when she opens them, However, her eyes can no longer be opened, so how can it be... She was thinking in such a messy way, and the chaos in her head, the bits and pieces of being together with Wuyan from childhood to adulthood all came to her mind very clearly at this moment.They have known each other since the first grade of junior high school. It was the first time she was a classmate with a blind man. She was full of curiosity, her cheerful nature made her want to get close to her, and her kind heart made her willing to help her. Later, they became friends. She heard Said that she lived in the famous garden of Zhong's family, she was surprised and envious, so she often went to visit her to play, and then lived in. It was because she had no face that she met Grandpa Zhong, lived in the Zhong family's villa, and got into the Zhong family's car. It was the first time in her life that she took a private car. Later, she went to high school and college smoothly. Going to the best school and hiring the best tutor is all because of Wuyan, and it is because of Wuyan that she met Ling Zheng... It turns out that Wuyan occupies such a heavy weight in her life, too heavy to bear.She couldn't stop thinking about her and missing her all the time. Rachel thinks about Zhong Wuyan, and Ling Zheng also thinks about Zhong Wuyan. But he didn't tell her, and she didn't mention it to him. It may be a comfort if two people can tell each other how they miss each other, but if both of them endure it, it will not only be two misses and sadness, but also very likely to breed other emotions, such as disappointment, loneliness, suspicion, and even hatred. Rachel began to wonder if she fell in love with Ling Zheng wrongly. In fact, her combination with Ling Zheng might not be so perfect.In college, Ling Zheng was recognized as the Prince Charming, excellent in both character and learning, and the number one school girl in the eyes of girls. She had a lot of face with him, and she just wanted to hold on to him; but after graduation, the two really got together , there is a feeling that the dust has settled and this life is over, and both parents have met, so that the parents' attitude towards her is respectful, and it is obvious that she thinks that the marriage between the two is a high climb, and Rachel also feels that it is I gave in, and unknowingly began to be picky, always accusing Ling Zheng of being mentally handicapped in the details of life, such as inconsistent color matching of ties, improper maintenance of leather shoes, not knowing how to order economical and delicious meat and vegetables, etc., when the mood comes, I deliberately They used some Shanghai slang to make fun of him, saying that he was "obviously a farmer, but he was a little bit off-tempered. He is really a relative of the Lu family". Ling Zheng knows that "Xiao Kai" refers to the boss's son, and Rachel means that he spends money recklessly, but he doesn't understand why "Qi Men Lu Shi" should be explained.Rachel laughed, and said, "Qi and Qi are homonyms, and Lu and six are homophones. Isn't seven plus six equal to thirteen o'clock? This is the incision of our old Shanghai. How would you know?" Ling Zheng said without being annoyed. He said "thirteen o'clock", but Rachel's self-confident tone when talking about old Shanghai made him a little dissatisfied. He hated that Rachel always used old Shanghai notions intentionally or unintentionally, so he threw out some inexplicable words such as "three o'clock water", "aircraft head", "Old Cla", "Meng Nong blind man" and so on. They teased him, deceived him that he didn't understand, and deliberately "played Huarong" with him. Speaking of which, Lingzheng actually has some village customs, while Rachel has some city customs.Lingzheng's village customs are known by herself and she is trying to wash them away; Rachel's city customs are not self-aware and are intentionally or unintentionally publicized, because she has some confused concepts shared by young people nowadays, thinking that the city customs are the city , just like they can never tell the difference between fashion and fashion. Shanghai girls, especially the eldest daughters of civilian families, are born economists and gourmets. They have an instinctive closeness and familiarity with the quality of life, and they have a talent for predicting trends and the ability to fuel the flames. Their lives are not Relying on experience instead of intuition, that kind of shrewdness and ingenuity is beyond the reach of foreigners who have spent a lifetime of hard work and study. Although Rachel came from a small family, she is a native Shanghai native after all. She has the inexplicable sense of urban superiority unique to Shanghainese. Her eyes are on her forehead, and she always feels faintly proud of her actions and words. I don't know what to be proud of.And she thinks that she is a girl who grew up in Zhong's garden after all. Even though she is not the real Miss Zhong, her vision is different. She has seen the real world and the real high society. Her Shanghai cuts and allusions from the old days are the true biography of Zhong Ziming.When Zhong Ziming talked with his old servant, Grandma Wu, he would often use some old phrases. For example, when he commented on someone’s wrongdoing, he would simply say: “This person is Qiu Lujiao.” : "These little jitters, lazy and slippery, are all a sock." Another example is that he is going to speak seriously to Grandma Wu, and the opening remark will be "gossip". Rachel is used to being a child. She knows that in old Shanghai in the 1930s and 1940s, fashionable young people liked to add a sentence or two to their gossip, just like today’s young people like to insert English words in Chinese. A status symbol.She likes to hear Grandpa Zhong talk about cuts, and feels that there is a simple and crisp taste there.She also likes to listen to the customs and allusions of old Shanghai told by Grandpa Zhong, such as the origin of "Xiaobawangzhuang" and the custom of "eating and talking about tea", jokes about old pawnshops, old banks and old tailors, and even " Volcano" anecdote. When the wind of nostalgia blew up, she sensitively realized that what was popular at the same time as Shanghai’s romance was not just simple labels such as "Red House Western Restaurant" and "Shuangmei Cigarettes", but also something more spiritual. Things at the same level, such as "corner Sam", "Qiu Lujiao", "a sock" and other interesting words with distinctive background characteristics of the times are one of them. For her, Zhong's Garden is like a spiritual home, with a religious flavor, it is her confidence, her belief, and the support of her belief.At the same time, it is also her safe haven when she is sad, and a gas station when she is weak. She avoids Ling Zheng, under the pretext that she is going back to her mother's house to have a look, but she actually went to Zhong's garden. More than ten years later, Zhong's garden seemed to be the first time she saw it. She said it was a garden, but there was not a single flower. It was all grass and trees, lush and lush, because it was convenient for people to step on and walk without a face.The flowers are all bought from outside, planted in pots, inserted in vases, or even hung in the air, filling the room with fragrance.There are pools and fountains in the garden. The most eye-catching one is the statue in the center of the fountain. It is said that it is modeled after Grandma Wuyan, and it is the masterpiece of Grandpa Zhong. The faceless grandma therefore left a concept of a cold beauty in Rachel's heart, perfect and mysterious like plaster, every time she passed the pool when she was a child, she wanted to smash it with a hammer to see what the plaster heart was. Behind the living room is the servant's room, upstairs is where Grandpa Zhong and Wuyan live, and there is also a guest room - where I spent the entire girlhood, and almost became a part of the Zhong family. Perhaps because of the faceless eyes, the arrangement in the small building is rarely changed, everything has its place, step by step, but maybe it is because of the rigorous nature of Grandpa Zhong, because even time is stagnant here, even for No face, there's no reason to let him not change his clothes all year round, right? Zhong Ziming hated all the changes in his life at all. He was used to the order and the rules. You can't see much sadness on his face, because his expression is rarely changed, it is always so kind, so majestic, and so polite-it is not the same to express these three emotions in an attitude at the same time. It was an easy task, but Zhong Ziming has always controlled it very well.Just like now, he looks at Rachel who has grown up, just like he looked at his granddaughter's little friend, the yellow-haired girl with pigtails ten years ago, and asked her gently: "It's little Rachel, you haven't been here for a long time ,is it going well?" He is such a respectable and trustworthy elder, and Rachel immediately burst into tears, calling "Grandpa Zhong", choking with sobs.It was rare for her to cry in front of her parents. Recently, because of her scheming with Ling Zheng, she even refused to cry in front of him, but now she suddenly became weak, with tears streaming down her face. The Zhong family had already changed a young nanny, surnamed Chen, who didn't recognize Rachel, but upon seeing this, she guessed that Miss Rui had a special status, so she graciously twisted a towel to wipe her face, and poured another cup of hot tea Putting it on the case at hand, he quietly retreated.This is different from the previous Grandma Wu, who was the most talkative, always regarded herself as the half master of the Zhong family, Wuyan as her granddaughter, and Rachel wanted to take advantage of her granddaughter Little red guy, looking at her like a thief, although he is careful to serve her under the order of his master, but his movements are always slow, and the tea he makes is always half-warm, with leaves floating in it. Because of thinking like this, her train of thought was diverted, and Rachel forgot to cry, and instead asked an irrelevant question: "Where did that old Grandma Wu go?" "The matter of Wuyan made her very sad. When she fell ill, I gave her a sum of money and sent her to retire." Grandpa Zhong said very gently, "Actually, Grandma Wu is so old that she can't serve her anymore. However, she watched the two generations of Zhong's family grow up, and she was very affectionate. Especially in Yan'er's situation, she was always worried about handing her over to others, and she had to do everything she could to marry Yan'er. She always joked that she wanted to follow Yan'er as a dowry mother, but she didn't expect such a thing to happen..." "Grandpa Zhong, where is Wuyan now?" "Why don't you know?" "Since Wuyan was sent to the hospital, I haven't seen her again. Aunt Zhong said that she is going to take her to the United States for treatment. Is it true?" Zhong Ziming stared into Rachel's eyes deeply: "Rachel, you are a smart boy, what do you think?" Rachel's body felt cold for a while, and her intuition told her that Wuyan was dead.She didn't say a word again, because she knew that Zhong Ziming would not say more, and she couldn't bear more. Wuyan is probably dead.So why did Aunt Zhong lie and say that she took her back to the United States?There is only one answer: Wuyan left a message before she died, not allowing them to reveal the truth of her death, because she was afraid that Lingzheng would blame herself——Wuyan was thinking of Lingzheng until the moment she died. This kind of love is not something that Rachel can understand, give, and bear. So, can Ling Zheng do it? If Ling Zheng knew that Wuyan loved him so much, would he still love himself like before? Grandpa Zhong personally sent her out of the garden.When passing by the pool, Rachel saw the plaster statue again, and suddenly asked, "Grandpa Zhong, do you miss Grandma Zhong so much because she is dead?" This sentence is quite unreasonable and somewhat inexplicable.But Zhong Ziming understood and didn't bother with the little girl. He answered her seriously: "This is not just a statue, this is her. She has always been with me, accompanied me all my life, and will always be with me." Stay with me until I die." Rachel bowed her head, feeling hopeless—that's the power of death.No one can compete with the dead.It is good to be lively and fragrant, but there are always such and other defects and shortcomings. Once turned into a statue, it can become a god or a Buddha, and people will worship it. Wuyan is like that statue, standing in Lingzheng's heart with a posture that cannot be ignored. It is impossible for him to forget her. Who would forget a woman who loved him to death? "I hate this useless body, if she can't get close to you... So, I am willing to love you with my soul." Wuyan loves with her soul, so she gets Ling Zheng's soul; but she shares the bed with Ling Zheng, but only gets his body. She seemed to be fighting a battle for Pei Lingzheng with Wuyan, she got Lingzheng's body, and Wuyan won Lingzheng's soul.If the two orders are inseparable, then she is also inseparable from Wuyan.In this life, as long as she is always with Ling Zheng, she will be with Wuyan forever. She is doomed to lose to Wuyan.Wuyan even pledged her life to fight against the water, entered the arena with a posture of full withdrawal, and used it to become invisible to overwhelm the sky. What chance does she have to win her? Competing with a dead man gave Rachel a chill of despair. The more because of Wuyan's absence, the more the world is full of Wuyan's shadow.At that time, she liked to buy yellow clothes for Wuyan, with different shades, light or dark, silk or satin, tassels or folds, all yellow.The walls of the house are white, the furniture is also white, but Wuyan is bright yellow; the wallpaper in the living room is dark red and deep purple, the mahogany and red sandalwood furniture are deep and dignified, but Wuyan’s clothes are bright yellow; The trees in the garden are green, the grass is also green, and there is no face walking through it, but it is a flowing yellow... Suddenly a yellow shadow flashed in the woods, and Rachel blurted out: "Wu Yan!" No matter how hard she looked, it was still a continuous green. How could there be no face? Rachel's tears welled up and she couldn't help covering her face.Zhong Ziming sighed softly, put his hands on her shoulders, and said gently: "Missing makes people fulfilled, but it also makes people sad, so I give myself a vacation every year, leave here for a while, and walk around , look, and relax yourself." "I know." Rachel burst into laughter, "When I was young, Wuyan and I lived here, and you would travel every once in a while, and every time you left, you would say to me: 'Rachel, take care of Wuyan. .' And when they come back, they will bring us gifts...Grandpa Zhong, thank you for taking care of me from childhood to adulthood." "Recently, I'm leaving again. A college in Switzerland invited me to give lectures for three months. When I come back, I will still bring you a gift." Zhong Ziming smiled gently. "Little Rachel, I look at you like you have no face. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. When it's time for vacation, let yourself go away for a while." It's a holiday, go away, Rachel is thoughtful, she came to Zhong's Garden to find the answer, not only to find the truth about Wuyan's life and death, but also to find the ending of her relationship with Ling Zheng.However, this visit made her feel even more confused, feeling that everything was so uncertain, or rather, so uncertain.In fact, what is the so-called love and not love?What is the difference between life and death?What if I and Ling are not together? When Wuyan was alive, she didn't bother her and Lingzheng much. Now she is probably dead, but she stands among them vividly, like an important decoration in the living room at home, the most eye-catching thing in the bedroom. Like a wall hanging, reminding them to pay attention to her, miss her, and think about her all the time, while ignoring each other who are close to each other.Maybe she should really leave Lingzheng, at least for a while, to give herself a vacation. There seemed to be deep meaning in Grandpa Zhong’s words. Every word of Grandpa Zhong was wise and profound. Rachel lowered her head and wiped her tears while saying, “Grandpa Zhong, thank you, I feel much better now. When will you leave, or will you Before leaving, I'll see you off, just like what Wuyan and I did for you before." "Maybe you can think about it, not just seeing you off, you can go with me." Unexpectedly, Zhong Ziming's answer would be like this.Rachel was a little dazed, as if she couldn't hear clearly for a while, she looked up at Zhong Ziming with a slightly dazed expression. Zhong Ziming smiled, patted Rachel's hair, and coaxed him to say: "Rachel, Switzerland, we are very destined. The invitation letter from Switzerland states that you can bring an assistant. If you don't mind taking care of the old man It’s too troublesome, we might as well go together, maybe I still have the strength to ski one last time.”