Chapter 4 Chapter 3 The Taj Mahal in Tears

Early the next morning, we arrived at the world-famous Taj Mahal. For modern Chinese young people, the most familiar Indian emperors are Ashoka and Shah Jahan. The former is because of the Bollywood blockbuster, and the latter is because of the Taj Mahal—or, Because of "The Power of Love". Shah Jahan is the fifth emperor of the Mughal dynasty. When he was only a 15-year-old prince, he had already married Montaj Mahal as his concubine.He doted on her very much, and made her his queen after he ascended the throne, calling her "the leader in the palace".There are three thousand beauties in the harem, but according to royal records, Shah Jahan spends almost all nights with the queen, which is beyond the imagination of Indians.He fought endlessly throughout his life, but during the intermissions of the war, he would return to the queen as soon as possible to accompany her to drink, smoke opium, watch songs and dances, and enjoy the most extravagant and lazy married life.It seemed that only when he was with Montaj did he feel truly rested and truly proud of his achievements in battle.

The jewelry, perfumes, and gifts from all over the world in the Montaj Palace are enough to buy an island.And what she rewarded her husband was endless infatuation and uncomplaining childbirth-she gave birth to thirteen children for him, and died of dystocia during the fourteenth childbirth. That day was June 7, 1631. It was a day as important and sad as Shiva's tears. Shah Jahan was heartbroken on this day, feeling that part of his life had also left with his beloved queen.When he was in mourning, he ordered that no jewelry should be worn in the palace, no perfume should be used, and his grief made him grow old quickly.After two months of mourning, he made a decision: to build the most beautiful mausoleum in the world to bury Montaj, and to commemorate eternal love with eternal architecture.Afterwards, he exhausted his mental and material resources and national power, personally designed and presided over it. After 22 years, he finally built this unparalleled majestic mausoleum, which became a miracle in the history of world architecture.

The entire fence is made of marble and red sandstone. Before entering, you must search your body. You are not allowed to bring bags or batteries. You must turn off your mobile phone. You can bring a camera but not a video camera. You must take off your shoes or put on shoe covers. While changing shoe covers, I saw a wizard sitting cross-legged playing the flute in front of the magnificent red and white gatehouse, wearing a yellow shirt, white trousers, and a red baotou. I counted them, and there are nine musical instruments on the ground. They are similar in shape but different in size.In the bamboo basket in front of him, there was a snake protruding up with its head flat, twisting and turning to the music.When the snake's head turned in my direction, I looked at it indifferently, but I couldn't tell whether it was paying attention to me or not.

The snake's eyes are vicious and empty, and if you look at it for a long time, it will make people shudder.This time I threw a banknote on the wizard's carpet before Xiao Xin, but only took a quick photo and left, because I didn't know how much was right, and I was afraid that he would continue to chase me for it——There is a snake As an accomplice, how much tip you want is justified, right? The visual design of the Taj Mahal is a model in the history of architecture. Looking at the Taj Mahal from outside the gate of the wall, you will feel very majestic and majestic; It is in the center of the gate; but when you step into the gate, you can see the moonlight-like beautiful Taj Mahal standing far away on the other side of the lake, but it is exquisite and magnificent.

I couldn't help but "wow", almost holding my breath.Under the bright morning light, the semicircular mausoleum glows with the soft light of pearl shells on the other side, which is shockingly beautiful.Majestic, serene, holy, sad, maternity world... Language becomes weak before such beauty.Or, only the poem by the Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore can describe the event: "Shah Jahan, you let the imperial power disappear, but you hope to make a drop of pearl tears eternal. Years are merciless, they have no mercy for the human heart, and it laughs at the futile struggle of the heart because it refuses to forget. Shah Jahan, you fight with beauty , put the never-fading crown on the invisible god of death. Silent night, the whisper you whispered in the ear of your lover has been engraved on the white stone of eternal silence. Although the imperial power of the empire has been reduced to powder, history has been obliterated, and that The white marble still sighs to the sky full of stars: 'I remember!' 'I remember!'—but life forgets. Life must go to death's summons, travel light, and leave all memories in the lonely and desolate symbol of beauty inside."

"A drop of eternal pearl tears", there is no more special and vivid metaphor than this. Walk through the water corridor lined with flowers, and climb up the steps in front of the Taj Mahal.I gently stroked the delicate and smooth marble base, and almost couldn't help kneeling down to worship it.Although I am not a believer, even if I have to kneel down and worship into the mausoleum step by step, I am willing to do so because of its unimaginable charming beauty. The entire mausoleum is built of pure white marble from the Deccan Plateau, inlaid with jewels and semi-precious stones.Sitting on the pedestal of the mausoleum, fingers gently traced the delicate patterns, knowing that marble is the hardest, but its luster is so warm and moist, just like a child's cheek, and the touch of fingers has a throbbing coolness, full of vitality. pity.

Leaning on the railing, you can overlook the Taj Mahal reflected in the pool water, and the surrounding four completely symmetrical gate towers and mosques.Imagining the sadness and gratification of Shah Jahan personally overseeing the Taj Mahal taking shape day by day in the past 22 years, as well as the tears of joy on the day the mausoleum was completed, I can’t help but shed tears too—he is worthy Taj, worthy of the fourteen children Taj bore for him. However, his son was sorry for him. Aurunzeb was the third son of Shah Jahan. Because he wanted to be emperor, and because he was dissatisfied with his father's exhaustion of national power to build the Taj Mahal, he was afraid that he would have nothing left after he succeeded, so he killed his son. The two elder brothers imprisoned their father and even took over the throne.

The story of killing a brother and seizing a son is not uncommon in Chinese history. Similar farces had been staged as early as the Tang Dynasty Li Shimin.There is also a generation of tyrant Qin Shihuang, who died of exhaustion to build the Great Wall, so there is a sad legend about Meng Jiangnu crying down the Great Wall.But today, the sea is changing, where is Meng Jiangnv?Where is Qin Shihuang?The Great Wall will never fall down.Qin Yingzheng's merits and demerits are just like Shah Jahan's. He was reviled for laboring people and wasting money, but he was famous in history for his immortal architecture.

Nothing in the world can be greater than love, and nothing is more eternal than architecture.Therefore, when love and architecture are combined, it is destined to become a myth and legend that attracts worldwide attention. What Shah Jahan dedicated to Taj is indeed eternal love.Such love cannot survive today.Today's love is all about diamonds and roses.However, no matter how big a diamond is, how can it compare with the tearful Taj Mahal? Suddenly, there was a commotion in the crowd, as if they heard a silent call, they ran towards a place in unison, and then all knelt down and began to pray.

I have been to some Arab countries and know that it is time for Muslims to pray.They pray five times a day, at dawn, noon, afternoon, sunset, and night, each time ranging from two to five minutes.No matter what you are doing at the time, as soon as the time comes, start praying, and nothing will ever change. This reminds us that it's time for lunch too.So we left the Taj Mahal, had a light meal at a roadside shop, drank a cup of masala milk tea to help digestion, and then continued to Agra Fort, the most glorious palace of the Mughal Dynasty. The Mughal Dynasty began in the 16th century, lasted for more than 300 years, and developed to its peak during the Akbar period. Its territory stretched from Kashmir in the north to the upper reaches of the Godavari River in the south, and from Kardon in the west to Brahmaputra Tra River.At that time, India's population reached 100 million people, and its politics, economy, and culture had reached extremely high levels. Jewelry from the Mughal period is still the most exquisitely inlaid and most expensive collection so far.

However, the most important achievement of Emperor Akbar is not in the expansion of the territory, but in his lifelong dedication to religious unity.He is a descendant of the Mongol Temur and has the blood of Genghis Khan. He married women who believed in Hinduism, Buddhism and Christianity as his wives to represent religious unity.In the Agra Fort, the part of the building he presided over also showed this long-cherished wish: there are three stars on the gate of the castle, which is the symbol of Islam; the top of the gate is an arched building, which is the format of Christianity; And the lotus decoration, which symbolizes Hinduism, can be seen everywhere. This is the most respectable virtue of the Mughal emperors - they roared from the Mongolian grasslands, moved from horseback to elephant back, brought cannons, and brought Islam.But they conquered India by force, but did not force the Indians to convert to their religion—they ruled politically, but did not force spiritual oppression. This is the real imperial mind. We wandered in the palace, passing through one exhibition room after another, admiring the gorgeous costumes, musical instruments, magic instruments, weapons, daily necessities and handicrafts.There are many tourists, but those elegant and dignified displays can easily calm people's hearts.In this way, the Indian style approached silently bit by bit. The carved eaves, the yin and yang pillars, the four seasons gates in different shapes, and every carving on the gates made me dazzled and admired from the bottom of my heart.Such exquisitely crafted beauty makes people unable to bear to look at the flowers on horseback, or even to look more, and feel that they should just find a quiet corner to meditate, reflect, then close their eyes, and use their minds to reproduce the beauty of it . Xiao Xin made fun of me: "Why, you were immobilized by your Chinese monkey?" "That 'Chinese monkey' has a name, it's called Sun Wukong, and it's the Monkey King." I came back to my senses, and pointed at the monkey jumping between the battlements and made a face at him, "Don't you also Do you call monkeys god monkeys? Do they have magic powers?" "Our god monkey also has a name, called Hanuman." Xiao Xin said not to be outdone, "I know, and Tang Seng, he brought a monkey to India to study Buddhist scriptures—but, I think that monkey He must have taken it from India, right?" "In our story, it is said that Monkey King protects Tang Monk to come to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures." I also have some doubts. The creative basis of the original story was based on "Da Tang Western Regions". So, could Monkey King be inspired by Indian legends? ? The story of the god monkey Hanuman can be found in the Indian epic "Ramayana". It is roughly said that a stubborn monkey was influenced by the gods and became the military advisor of Prince Rama. He made great contributions in the war-it is very similar to the story of Monkey King . India only has oral history but lacks written records. This has formed two major characteristics of Indian culture: one is that it likes to use myths and legends to explain history;This has brought great difficulties to the research of historians, and in the end they can only come to a conclusion of "almost". Whenever I ask a question, Xiao Xin often does not give a simple and clear answer, but tells me a fairy tale as the answer; and when I ask a question about the myth itself, he will tell another myth Explanation.It seems that everything in the world corresponds to one or more myths, and the true meaning of India is hidden in these myths and legends, which are as numerous as the sands of the Ganges River, faintly visible and hazy and graceful. I asked Xiao Xin: "What kind of fairy buildings are these castles?" "It was built by Emperor Akbar and his descendants." It is rare for Xiao Xin to say so, "The whole palace is divided into three parts, which are built by Emperor Akbar, his son Jehan, and his grandson Shah Jahan. Three generations have been built successively, thus forming three distinct styles." Xiao Xin is indeed a competent tour guide, and he introduced it to me systematically.The part of the castle belonging to Akbar the Great is all built of red sandstone with white decorations. Its most prominent and noteworthy feature is that it tries to reflect the unity of the three religions and has a distinct political tendency.The whole palace is grand and majestic, with exquisite and regular patterns, fully showing Akbar's heroic feelings of conquering the world. And just across the door, you can enter the typical Shah Jahan style. The white marble is clear at a glance. This is Shah Jahan's favorite stone. It looks like Chinese white marble, which looks flawless in the past.It is said that his youngest daughter is afraid of the cold and doesn't like marble houses, so she clamored to build her own bedroom with red sandstone. Shah Jahan didn't want to reject his beloved little daughter, and he didn't want to break the harmony of the whole White House, so he thought of a way— — Red sandstone was used to build the house, and it was painted white with a paint mixed with camel bone powder to harmonize it with marble.What a perfect compromise. There is a pavilion in the courtyard downstairs, a dance pavilion and singing platform, which is a place for the emperor and concubines to play.Sitting on the patio and looking up, the fortress has three floors, and the winding and deep corridors connect the palaces and pavilions.When night comes, those beautiful concubines will wear bright saris and sit by candles in the pavilion to accept the emperor's visit—this is much more fragrant than the "Lian Pai" in the Chinese imperial palace. I looked at the small attics one after another, imagining the concubines' hibiscus-faced floral dresses under the glow of Qiongzhu, sitting upright, standing upright, half-covering their faces, or twirling their hair -- how is that a picture? Gorgeous and seductive fighting beauty picture!But Shah Jahan would ignore these spring flowers and autumn moons, and just go through all the silk balsam wholeheartedly, and walk straight to his queen, Montaj Mahal. The reason why the emperor's love is more precious than that of ordinary people is because he has too many choices, but he voluntarily stays loyal to one.This beautiful white marble temple records the happiest moments in the lives of Shah Jahan and his concubine Taj.But later, it became Shah Jahan's sad place - in this white fortress, there is a side hall surrounded by railings, which is the prison where the third prince Aurunzeb imprisoned his father. That is the place where I stopped the most in the whole fortress. Standing in the corner of the prison palace, I can see the sad Jumuna River and the Taj Mahal on the other side of the river in the distance.It stands silently under the setting sun, so beautiful and sad. Poor Shah Jahan, originally imagined to build a black marble mausoleum exactly like the Taj Mahal on the other side of the river for himself, but this wish never had a chance to come true.For seven full years, he was imprisoned in the Agra Fort, looking at the Taj Mahal across the Jumuna River every day, weeping silently until he died. For seven years and more than two thousand days, what kind of longing and humiliation filled Wang's heart! The poet compared the Taj Mahal to tears of pearls because it really soaked Shah Jahan's thoughts and tears too much. Xiao Xin and I stood by the turret of the Agra Fort overlooking the Taj Mahal, full of emotion.India's national emblem is a lion, and the generation of emperor Shah Jahan imprisoned in the castle, isn't it a lion in a cage? Fortunately, when Shah Jahan's lifelong relationship with Taj and his father-son feud with Aurunzeb were all gone with the wind, the Taj Mahal still stood.This is an epitaph stronger than any other vows or emperor's throne. I sighed: "Don't recall the old things to the setting sun, the mist turns into brocade ashes." "What is this? Chinese Tang poetry?" I smiled: "Xiao Xin, Tang is a dynasty in China, and poetry is the highest cultural achievement of this dynasty. From now on, you can just talk about Tang poetry, and don't add the word 'China' in front of it." When walking down the castle, Xiao Xin answered the phone, looking a little uneasy.I asked him, "Is there something wrong at home?" Xiao Xin thought about it, and suddenly asked: "A good news or a bad news, which one do you want to hear first?" I laughed, I learned how to apply it so quickly.Knowing that joking shouldn't be a bad thing. "Then let's hear the good news first." "The good news is that my mother said that a group of big Chinese customers came to the store, and they will order hundreds of thousands of our goods at once. The bad news is that no one in the store understands Chinese, so my mother hopes that I can go back and receive them in person." I was taken aback, and could only say: "Of course business is the most important thing, so you should go back quickly, I can walk the rest of the way by myself." "There's no hurry, it's too late now, and it's not too late to leave tomorrow morning." Xiao Xin was silent for a while, then suddenly sighed deeply, and said: "I don't value business. You know, my family runs a spice shop, which is boring and trivial. After my father died, I relied on my mother to support me. Mom I sent my eldest brother to France to study jewelry design in the hope that he would open up a new way of life after graduation, but who would have thought that he would change his studies to a Buddhist academy halfway and become a monk. One can imagine how disappointed my mother was at that time." I was a little surprised, because it was rare for Xiao Xin to take the initiative to mention his family affairs, so he quickly comforted him: "So, you must not let your mother down, and you must be a filial son. I understand. Chinese people also pay attention to filial piety. First." In fact, whether business is the most important thing or filial piety is the first priority, I will understand it very well.Really don't understand why Sinha minded so much, explaining again and again. Next we visited People's Hall and Fountain Square.Xiao Xin has been depressed, seems upset, no longer explaining the scenic spots to me, but kept telling me all kinds of precautions, where to take the train, where to take the plane, don't eat randomly, and pay attention to mosquito repellent when going to the Ganges Bite, also, it’s best not to go out at night, the weather in India is changeable, remember to bring an umbrella at all times... How long have we been shopping, he talked about how long, Chinese for a while, English for a while, and even mixed in between A few Hindi words. I laughed at him: "I chatted with you a few times on the Internet, and I decided to come to India alone, and my mother never worried about me; why are you more nagging than my mother?" However, Xiao Xin still couldn't let go, and said worriedly: "I promised to accompany you all the way, but now I have missed the appointment. If something happens to you in India, I will never forgive myself." "How can it be so serious? It's not my first time to be a backpacker. I have traveled more than half of China, including some remote mountainous areas that cannot be reached by railways. I have also traveled at least half of Europe and Africa. I am very experienced. etc. When you come back to China with me, you will know what a good tour guide I am." On the square between Zahar Gate and Delhi Gate, a pocket mausoleum surrounded by railings caught my attention. It is small in scale, but very delicate, with stone coffins and exquisite patterns carved around it. If it is an emperor, it seems that it should not be so small; if it is an ordinary person, it should not be so solemn. I asked Xiao Xin: "Whose tomb is this, so special?" "A British squad leader." I froze, isn't that the invader?From a Chinese point of view, I can't help but find it difficult to understand the complete protection of this mausoleum.If it were in China, I don’t know how many times it would be smashed. Can you imagine a statue of Stein or Pelliot in Dunhuang for people to admire?Even if there is, it should be like the statue of Qin Hui in front of Yue Fei's mausoleum, let him kneel and be spurned by thousands of people, right? I raised my doubts to Xiao Xin, and he replied calmly: "We believe in Hinduism. According to the teaching, if someone hits you on the left cheek, you can give him the right cheek. Therefore, we will not harbor hatred." "Oh? I thought 'forgiveness' was the basic proposition of Christianity. It's a Christian doctrine." "Really? They learned from us, right?" Xiao Xin answered naturally. I can't help but smile.In Xiaoxin's view, probably all good and similar teachings come from Hinduism, right?I'm not a Christian, so I don't know which scripture this motto comes from, and I don't know what kind of attitude is the right one in the face of bullying, knowing heaven and happy fate, or not forgetting the national humiliation?But I admire Indians' happy-go-lucky character. Good or bad, as long as the history happened, they will accept it calmly. They will not be like our Chinese nation, which is burdened with a heavy history and cannot be released. For a long time, I walked with great resentment. I blamed my mother for not remarrying so easily. Even if I wanted to marry, I should choose a better family. I blamed my stepfather for his indifferent and critical eyes. My sister made things difficult for me.I often even think that if one day I see them fall into a deep pit, I will never help them, even if I am close at hand.I'd watch them fall all the way down with my hands in my hands, and give them the same sneer and contemptuous looks they used to give me. But then one day I was dragged by my classmates to listen to a beauty lecture. The content was originally very boring, about how to maintain a healthy and regular life and make homemade facial masks.The beautician is about forty years old, well-maintained, without a trace of wrinkles on his face, so he looks authoritative and convincing.I dozed off hearing this, and was just about to find a chance to slip away when her words caught my attention. She said: The first key to beauty is to maintain a good attitude. A person who has hatred in his heart will not have a beautiful face. I was conquered by such a simple and clear sentence. This is often the case, and half of the long and serious sermons may not be able to reach my ears, but an inadvertent warning may shock me greatly.I remember reading it when I was a child, the fate of the protagonist did not make me feel sorry for, but a sentence that Jane’s girlfriend Jenny said to her has become my motto in life, which is still fresh in my memory today——“Say yes to what you have to endure If I can’t stand it, it’s a sign of weakness and incompetence.” I engraved that sentence on the corner of my desk and warned myself every day to be patient and strong, if I don’t love myself, then no one in this world will love me. That sentence accompanied me through the lonely and long girlhood, and accompanied me into college.And the words of the beautician became the motto of behavior in the second stage of my life, forcing me to relax my mind and learn to forgive.Although I still can't force myself to walk into that house to shake hands with the two sisters with different surnames, but at least I can stop holding grudges.I began to learn to understand their feelings - when I was forced by fate to accept a stepfather, they were also forced to accept a strange stepmother and redundant sister, maybe they were as panicked and helpless as I was , That's why I tried every means to humiliate and reject me, so as to strengthen my confidence. From then on, I began to understand that the greatest forgiveness is not necessarily embracing words with the enemy or repaying grievances with virtue, but to find an explanation for the harm I have suffered from the position of the other party. Since Xiaoxin was not in high spirits all the time, we went straight back to the hotel after visiting Agra Fort, and we also ate dinner at the hotel.After that, we sat on the balcony and drank as usual.Xiao Xin made several phone calls to his friends in different cities in front of me, and solemnly entrusted them to receive and take care of me.Although I kept saying no, I can take care of myself, but he just didn’t feel at ease, and booked a few more hotels in scenic spots, and then handed me a list, which clearly listed my friend’s phone number and the address of the hotel , and many caveats. I was moved again, but was speechless. Xiao Xin drank in silence for a while, and Fang asked hesitantly, "Did you have a good time today?" "Of course," I told him, "I'm not sure I'll be this happy for the rest of my trip, but I'm glad I'm here, and I like India a lot." "That's because you know you don't have to stay here all the time, you know you can leave whenever you're bored and go back to your own place. If you were to stay in India for the rest of your life, would you still like it?" I thought about it seriously, and then said: "Your question is too profound, and I am not awake at dusk." We toasted, smiled, and drank it all down. Xiao Xin's smile was somewhat helpless, a kind of vicissitudes and sadness that did not belong to his age. He stared at a painting on the balcony door for a long time. On it was a beautiful woman in sari riding on the back of an elephant. The border of the sari and the pattern of the carpet on the back of the elephant look very three-dimensional.Xiao Xin stared at the painting for a long time, and said bitterly: "I originally arranged a lot of programs, such as eating an Indian meal in the best restaurant, watching a Bollywood movie, and going to Swiss Cés To meditate, I even entrusted a friend to book a palace hotel in Mysore for one night. It is a hotel converted from a real royal palace, and I want to accompany you to ride an elephant to the ancient castle... What are you laughing at?" "I thought of a joke." I tried to change the topic, "One year my girlfriend celebrated her birthday, and a group of us sisters celebrated her birthday. Everyone asked her what birthday wishes she had. She thought about it seriously for a long time. Everyone thought it was such a lofty ideal, but she actually said: I want to go to Africa to ride an elephant. I said to her: That’s so strange, I should go to Africa by riding an elephant.” Xiao Xin finally smiled: "That's really embarrassing the elephant." For some reason, I was the one who was alone, but I kept comforting him and tried my best to make him happy with jokes. Xiao Xin asked again: "So, what is your birthday wish? What do you want to do the most?" "Already done - travel to India." Actually, I didn't tell the truth.My birthday wish is the same every year, to find the owner of that voice.If you can't find it for a day, you can't get what you want for a day. "Why do you like traveling so much?" "Probably because I like the feeling of being on the road, or in other words, a habit." I thought for a while and said, "The place where my parents were born is not the place where I was born, and the city where I grew up is different from the place where I was born, so I moved frequently when I was young. After my father passed away, I moved not only the house, but also uprooted the whole family. Then I started to live alone, renting houses everywhere, changing dormitories, and changing three or five times a year when I was unlucky Where to live. Therefore, I have never had the concept of "home" or "hometown". I am a born homeless person. On the one hand, I like a regular life, like going to work at seven o'clock and going to class at eight o'clock, three classes a day, five days a week, There are two major exams and countless small exams every year. When the students graduate, I still stay in the original school and teach the same courses. But on the other hand, I am afraid of endless repetition, and I am afraid that this repetition will not bring real meaning to life. , I was afraid that everyone was moving forward and I would stay where I was. So when there are vacations, I can’t wait to escape, traveling around alone, and only when I am on the road will I feel the reality of life.” "It turns out that you, like me, don't have a father anymore." Xiao Xin grasped the point of the speech directly, "I like to see you smile, but I think that sometimes you smile happily, and sometimes you laugh Just to hide your unhappiness. On the Internet, every time you chat, you always talk about the tourist attractions in China and what interesting things your friends have, but you rarely talk about yourself. Nalan, can you tell me more about yourself let me know?" I shuddered all over, and suddenly wondered if Xiao Xin liked me a little bit.The extreme lack and desire for love since I was a child made me very sensitive and alert to the way others look at me. All likes and dislikes will be magnified several times to reflect on myself.If someone treats me well, I will find out earlier before he falls in love with me, but I am not confident, so I deliberately ignore the other party to avoid possible cold reception in the future; and if someone hates me, I will always notice it immediately, And stay as far away from him as you can from a burst of cold air. As for Xiao Xin's question, which was close to exchanging simple words and deep words, I wanted to pass it by with the usual joke.However, maybe it is because of hearing so many stories of him these two days, I feel that I should have the frankness of reciprocating; maybe it is because the parting is imminent, and the unique sadness in the air at dusk makes people easy to fall into memory; more maybe it is because of his black and white pair Under the gaze of clear and quiet eyes, I feel the desire to talk.In short, I didn't expect it myself, and suddenly I started talking endlessly-"My father passed away when I was very young. After that, my mother took me to live alone for three years. There is a Chinese saying called 'widow' There are many gossips in front of the door'. At that time, my mother was still young and beautiful. She said that she was not afraid of suffering, nor was she afraid of getting hurt. Gossip. So, in the fourth year of her widowhood, she finally accepted a marriage proposal from the deputy director of the superior unit and led me to remarry. There are already two older sisters in my stepfather’s family. If I were a man The kids might be better but being a girl makes everyone think I'm redundant. Whenever I start talking they tell me to 'shut up'. I hate the way they look at me with disgust and the way they yell at me The contemptuous tone when I 'shut up', so I seldom speak..." I don't know why I said this to Xiao Xin.I told myself that I just wanted to comfort Xiao Xin and tell him through my own experience that his mother is really great, at least she did not bring the two brothers to remarry, but raised them alone and gave them the best good education. However, as soon as the words came out, they gradually tasted of self-pity.Tears gradually filled Xiao Xin's big, docile eyes like cows, as if tears would flow down his face as soon as he opened his mouth. It’s not my habit to lick other people’s wounds. I regretted my weakness, so I stopped him in time before he spoke words to comfort me: “This happened a long time ago. I just wanted to tell you, India The trip, and your company, really made me happy, at least, I said a lot of things, and you didn't say to me: 'shut up'!" I smiled and toasted.However, Xiao Xin was still in tears.Twilight suddenly became heavy.