Chapter 2 Chapter 1 As long as you can't get it

Luo Zhi heard a rustling sound, and the chaotic dream gradually faded away, replaced by the hustle and bustle of the classroom.She got up and looked around in a daze. A strange boy was eating an egg pie. It was the crackling sound of the plastic bag that woke her up.She was wearing a black hooded jacket, and when she sat up, the huge hat covered her eyes, and the brim of the hat was surrounded by a circle of fluff. The last law tutorial class of this semester. The optic nerve that was oppressed while sleeping on the table slowly recovered. She lifted her hat and looked forward from the last row of the lecture theater. Her distracted eyesight gradually focused in one direction.Zhang Mingrui was in the far third row, turning around and standing and talking to the people in the back row, but the first thing she noticed was the back of Sheng Huainan's head next to him.Maybe it was because she looked too carefully before, closing her eyes might blur his face, but she always had a kind of absurd confidence that she could recognize his back among ten thousand people.

At this time, Sheng Huainan also turned around and joined the conversation with Zhang Mingrui and the others, looking a bit absent-minded.He said a few words, then suddenly looked around the audience, as if looking for someone. Luo Zhi picked up the water glass, stood up, and walked out through the back door. Bright lights, noisy hallways, and crowds make up a giant dryer.A few nights ago, in the confrontation in front of the girls' dormitory, every word was wetly hidden in my heart, and now it was dried out by the sun, and I couldn't see the original appearance of the former abundance.She felt like a rusty kitchen knife.

After that day, they did not contact each other again. She was at the end of the hot water line, staring up at the extinguished energy-saving lamp above her head in a daze. At that time, Sheng Huainan, who panicked for some reason, finally showed a different side in front of him than usual. When she returned to the dormitory, she found that when she ran away in anger, she had left the suitcase in his hands. She stared at the incomprehensible text message with her mobile phone for a long while, holding her breath and did not ask for the suitcase. After thinking about it, Luo Zhi decided to call Zhang Mingrui, wanting to ask him if his suitcase was in their dormitory.When the phone was just connected, she could still hear other boys in the dormitory yelling loudly - "Say, who did you go to 798 for Christmas? Was it Xu Riqing?"

Zhang Mingrui's embarrassing voice sounded after a while: "Hello, Luo Zhi?" She was talking when she suddenly heard the loud sound of the door being slammed on the other side of the phone. "What's wrong?" "I don't know either. As soon as I got on the phone, Sheng Huainan picked up his suitcase and slammed the door out. He was playing games well over there, and I don't know why... That suitcase belongs to you, right? ? I saw the flight information on the handle that you didn’t take off before, and he ignored me when I asked him..." Luo Zhi didn't speak for a long time, knowing that the phone vibrated again, displaying: Call waiting, Sheng Huainan is calling.

She ended the call with Zhang Mingrui with a few words and connected to the other side. "My suitcase is at your side...the pajamas and the computer are inside." After the silence after the phone call, she spoke first. For some reason, she suddenly felt that the person on the other side of the phone was smiling. "Go downstairs in five minutes, I'll go there now." "No need," her voice froze, "it happens that my roommate is going back to the dormitory, and he can pick it up for me when he passes downstairs." He stayed for a few seconds: "then How do I know which one is her?"

"I told her, and I confirmed that the most handsome boy among the boys standing at the door is you." Sometimes Luo Zhi herself doesn't understand why her anger and dissatisfaction are always masked by a playful smile. "What if I make a mistake?" "Do you think the boy standing at the door of the girls' dormitory dragging his suitcase at this time might be mistaken?" Her tone was a bit bad, but Sheng Huainan had always been a good-tempered person. At least on the surface, he knew how to restrain himself and take care of the situation. She waited for him to step him down from each other.

"I don't care, either you get it yourself, or you don't use the computer, don't wear pajamas..." He paused, his tone was very aggressive, "Just sleep on it." Luo Zhi was a little dazed, and pressed the end button without even thinking about it. The next second, she found that the corners of her mouth could not stop rising. It seemed that this annoyed man's behavior, which was not at all like Sheng Huainan's, made her suddenly feel each other's heartbeat. The ugly and rare face may be the real one. At this time, someone knocked on the door. It was a student from the psychology department upstairs who invited students from each dormitory to help fill out the questionnaire. She talked to the other party a few words, sat down and completed it in less than ten minutes, and accepted a stick as a reward. plastic roses.

Then Jiang Baili suddenly appeared at the door dragging the box. "Ah! Guess who I ran into downstairs?" Luo Zhi's original pride of wanting to rush over to catch Sheng Huainan's unreasonable face face to face was extinguished by that suitcase. Belle put the suitcase upright in the center of the room, before her seat, and said, "I thought it was strange seeing him standing there, thinking he was waiting for you, and I wondered if you guys had a falling out?" "He came over by himself and said, "You are Luo Zhi's roommate, right? That look is very polite and kind, but I hate this kind of person the most." Belle swayed her legs leisurely, biting the cup in her hand. With the pancakes, go on.

"He said you left the suitcase in his hands and asked me to take it up." "And then I just glanced at him and said, oh, thank you." you. Jiang Baili's vivid application suddenly appeared before Luo Zhi's eyes. Jiang Baili intentionally or unintentionally told him that Luo Zhi's illness was still not healed, and it was fortunate that another boy brought her meals every day before—that kind of complaining and showing off with ulterior motives, implying the loyalty of sisters who fight against injustice—Luo Zhi listened silently, thinking Slowly gray down. "Do you think this man is a pervert? He started laughing when he heard it, as if a stone had fallen from his heart. He told me to take care of you and take care of you. Do you think he is mentally ill?"

Luo Zhi smiled. If Sheng Huainan had been in a panic just now, then at this moment, every sentence of Belle's description of herself was heard in his heart, and he was absolutely reluctant and unable to let go. Her erratic thoughts were finally caught in his hands again, I am afraid that even his heart is beating firmly at this moment. The fearless people are the worst. She suddenly felt cold.Looking at Jiang Baili who was still filled with righteous indignation, Luo Zhi didn't know what to do, a kind of gentle helplessness filled her heart, so she could only walk over, leaned over and hugged her gently.

"Yeah, what are you doing..." "Thank you, Belle." she said with a smile. As she expected, Sheng Huainan never sent her any text messages in the next few days. Really boring.Luo Zhi came back to her senses, rubbed her astringent eyes, lowered her head and turned on the hot water faucet.The back of her hand was splashed with water droplets, and she shivered. The boring class came to an end when she was distracted, and the classroom gradually became lively again.Luo Zhi hurriedly jotted down the time, place and review scope of the final exam in her notebook, grabbed her schoolbag and coat and rushed out the back door the moment the professor announced that get out of class was over. Today is the last day of the year.Before, Zhu Yan asked her if she would like to stay at her home for a few days and spend the New Year's Day holiday together.She originally wanted to agree, if it wasn't for the fact that Belle asked her with a lonely expression a few days ago: "Luo Zhi, can you accompany me to the student union's New Year's Eve reception?" She was stunned: "When did you join the student union?" Didn't you always run errands for Gobi as a non-staff member?She swallowed the second half of the sentence. "I'm a member of the book club. They also invited the leaders of various clubs to this reception. In short, there are many people going." "Why do you want me to accompany you?" Belle lowered her head, her eyes still wandering around. "I heard that Chen Mohan is going." Luo Zhi felt her shoulders sinking uncontrollably: "Aren't you going to..." "I'm not here to make trouble, not to show their faces. If people can see my face, they won't dump me. I'm just curious, I'm really curious, how well they match together, I just want to see, Just wanted to see..." Luo Zhi stopped the crying in Belle's words in time, "OK, OK, if you can control your emotions, I will accompany you." Belle nodded hurriedly. "Believe me." Believe it or not.Luo Zhi rubbed her temples, and suddenly realized, student council?Isn't that beggar... She wanted to repent, but seeing Belle's thin and pointed chin, she couldn't say the words of refusal. A whole week has passed since Belle sent a text message to inform Luo Zhi of her breakup.Belle suffers from insomnia after listening to music every night, her eyes are red, and she loses lovesickness.When I peeked at beautiful women in the Gobi, I used to clamor angrily to lose weight, but now I really lost weight, but it has lost its meaning. The most frightening thing is to cheer up and weakly and hypocritically tell a group of eight women in the courtyard who are gloating under the banner of condemning the Gobi that everything is okay, okay. People pretend to be happy. No matter how depressed you are, put on a smiling face.Who wants to let others pick up jokes for nothing. Luo Zhi will advance the class time for the two children so that they can come back earlier in the evening to accompany Belle.While Lengfeng was waiting for the bus at the east gate, she received a text message from Luoyang. "Your sister-in-law has come to Beijing, let's have dinner together tomorrow." Luo Zhi felt a long-lost warm current pass through her heart. When she was changing slippers in the hallway, she felt that the house was too quiet, and the two Filipino maids who were always walking around in the living room muttering English that no one could understand well did not show up.Luo Zhi once asked Zhu Yan why she had to use Filipino maids. They should not have the cheap and good quality of Hong Kong Filipino maids in Beijing. At that time, Zhu Yan smiled and said that it is best for those who do not understand Chinese, and feel at ease. Luo Zhi was stunned for a while, then understood. As soon as the two children's classes were over, Luo Zhi was dragged into her room by the little girl. After recovering from a serious illness, Tiffany went to Hong Kong with Zhu Yan, and the small pink wardrobe was immediately filled with trophies.Luo Zhi sat on the bed and watched her show off her new clothes one by one.Zhu Yan is going to take them to a reception in the evening. Tiffany is very serious, so she is also very enthusiastic to help the staff whether the small dress looks good or the small cheongsam. "When did you come in, I didn't even notice." When Tiffany went to the bathroom, Luo Zhi had just realized that Zhu Yan had actually entered, and she had been sitting silently on the other side of the bed smiling while watching her daughter change her clothes. "It's been a long time since I saw you." Zhu Yan smiled and handed her a cup of tea. "Had a serious illness." "influenza?" "I don't know, half have a cold and half have heart disease." "What's wrong?" Luo Zhi smiled and told her about her experiences, from the first outing that barely counted as a date, to Sheng Huainan's sudden betrayal, until the rainy day, until she was forced to confess as an adult, including the adventure when she went home to visit the grave. And the late sentence by the window sill, "What's your name?" "It's probably like this," she paused for a moment, and laughed, "You can understand that I was played hard." Zhu Yan was silent for a long time, added a piece of rock sugar to the teacup, and asked while stirring, "Is that boy really as good as you imagined?" Luo Zhi looked at Zhu Yan, her eyes were full of sly smiles.She turned her face away, thought about it seriously, and then slowly said, "I know what you want to say." "I didn't know him in high school, but he is indeed a good person. It is very rare for a person who is worthy of envy in all aspects to be praised by everyone without slandering him. Later, I only had a few times Having met him face to face, I think he is indeed a likable person.” She sighed, her eyes a little sour: "At least you can attract my liking." Zhu Yan nodded thoughtfully: "So that's the case, he really grew up safely." Zhu Yan laughed: "No. I mean, I also think he is very rare. You once told me about him, the kind of precocious wisdom you described often hurt him, but it seems, well There are no elephants either." "I really hope he's not that good so I can get back on track sooner." "Don't make excuses," Zhu Yan smiled, "If you can't see through it, you can't see through it. I dare say that if one day you find out that he is bad, you will definitely feel worse than now." She looked at the window sill through the thin twilight: "After all, he is all your youth. If he is unbearable, then your youth is like feeding the dog." Luo Zhi grinned: "It's so sour." Zhu Yan ignored her, as if immersed in her own thoughts.After a long time, she looked straight at him: "Why don't you ask him, what is it for?" "He won't say it," Luo Zhi lowered her head and sipped, "If he did, I'm afraid I don't want to hear it either." "Pretentious." Zhu Yan's tone was soft, but it made Luo Zhi blush, and she continued dryly, "It's just following fate." Zhu Yan's smile made her hair shivers even more. "Before you thought it out, you were a director and an actor, and you laid the groundwork all the way. Now you want to pretend to be ignorant and obey fate?" Luo Zhi's teaspoon knocked against the wall. "My child's mother hits the nail on the head," she said awkwardly, "By the way, why didn't I see your two Filipino maids today?" Zhu Yan hesitated to speak, and in the next second she smiled, facing Tiffany who had just jumped out of the bathroom. Belle's urging text messages rushed into the phone one after another, and Luo Zhi pushed open the dormitory door panting at five o'clock, only to see her sitting cross-legged on the bed in her pajamas and holding her phone. "Why are you still in your pajamas?" "I don't know what to wear." "What kind of reception is this? If I'm required to wear a dress, I'm afraid I won't be able to get in." "You don't need to dress formally, you can enter the house with sneakers." "Then why are you in trouble? Don't worry too much about it, you can't compete with Chen Mohan." "I know." Belle did not refute. Luo Zhi looked back at her.Jiang Baili was uncharacteristically calm today. She met Luo Zhi's puzzled gaze and smiled slightly, pale and dusty. "I don't think I saw the Virgin Mary...can you stop laughing like that?" "I'm sorry, it just occurred to me just now that Sheng Huainan will actually be attending the reception tonight. I don't know if you want to see him..." Luo Zhi grinned: "There is nothing to avoid, there is nothing between us." Then, before the corners of his mouth drooped irresistibly, he quickly turned around and pretended to sort out the review materials on the bookcase. Although Belle didn't know much about the stories between them, she shouted every day: "Come on, Luo Zhi", getting along day and night, she could always read some stories from the corners of her eyes and brows, Luo Zhi didn't know how to cover it up. She heard the sound of Belle getting off the bed behind her, accompanied by a faint sentence: "If I were like you back then, rotting everything in my stomach, it would be fine. You like others to be quiet, too. Without being known by anyone, there is no shame in failing.” Luo Zhi slammed her head against the cabinet when she heard this: "What's so embarrassing about this—hey, wait a minute, where did I fail?" I wanted to be stubborn, but found that I couldn't put on a hippie smile. She took out "The Life of Mary Stuart" and put it back in. She didn't know how many times, and she couldn't find a suitable place. Finally, she gave up, threw it on the table, sat on it, and grabbed it. Turning around, he said in a cold tone: "Yes, I was quite a failure. I just saw that I would be miserable one day. I was not like you back then, and the whole world knew it." Belle was standing in the middle of the floor, halfway off her pajamas, her bra straps were still hanging on her shoulders, she was suddenly frightened by Luo Zhi, she fell down on the lower bed in a panic. It was the first time she heard Luo Zhi speak in such a tone.It is mixed with ice slag, but there is an evil fire. Both were silent. "I'm sorry..." Belle had just opened her mouth when she saw an exaggerated smile on Luo Zhi's face. "Hurry up and change your clothes," she said, paused, and then said in a very energetic tone. When a woman hides her feelings for the man she loves, she may lose his chance.' So, the classics say it all, and you're right." Jiang Baili laughed: "Scholars talk in the same way." In a blink of an eye, Jiang Baili's face sank again: "...then why didn't I get him?" After silently looking at each other in embarrassment but in tacit understanding, Luo Zhi laughed, and Jiang Baili got up obediently, and said, "Can I wear your clothes? We are about the same size." Luo Zhi pointed to the closet and said, "Choose it yourself. Didn't you always say that my clothes are only worn by widows?" Belle raised her head from the pile of clothes, solemnly: "I am indeed a widow." Luo Zhi smiled slightly, and raised her eyes to see the clear snow floating outside the window. She used to think that she would be so silent because she was not afraid of losing face, nor did she care about getting or not, but she just didn't want to be misunderstood.There are too many twists and turns in her relationship, which is not humane, and the onlookers who think straight to the end will only poke her tactful thoughts into blood. Until that day, when she mentioned the balcony at that time, he said, "I asked what your name is." Only then did Luo Zhi suddenly understand that the pain and unwillingness that suddenly filled her heart was called not being able to get it. Saying it out, swallowing it, the pursuit of much attention, or the love that is not known, neither is more brilliant, and neither is more noble. As long as you can't get it, you will scratch your heart with all kinds of claws, and the pain is not bad.