Chapter 50 Fan Wai Er Fluorescent

Her name is Ying, she doesn't have a surname, it's just such a lonely word. The man who gave her life recognized the blood of the Xiao family flowing in her body, but refused to admit that she was his daughter. In his eyes, she was just an accidental product after drinking and having sex. Under the drunkenness, he met a court lady of humble status, and that court lady, who was not outstanding in appearance and wisdom, took over his rain and dew and gave birth to a baby girl, that's all. After she was born, he came to see her and named her Ying according to the naming convention of Suzaku Branch.

There was no imperial decree to announce to the world, and it seemed that he had no intention of including her in the genealogy. After naming her casually, he left their mother and daughter in a deserted side hall, and ignored it. Ying, the light is faint, to him, she should be just that faint light, dispensable, it doesn't matter if it goes out. The empty side palace that never sees sunlight, the contemptuous and indifferent gazes of the maids and servants, the harsh words of the eunuch in charge, and the occasional arrogant insult from the main concubine—in this gorgeous and cold forbidden palace, she Slowly grow up, like a cluster of weeds growing in a dark corner.

When she was three years old, her cowardly and cowardly mother who would only hide in the room and hug her and cry all day long finally hanged herself from the beam one morning. She witnessed the whole process calmly. The first rays of the rising sun shone on that When her thin and frail body was on the floor, she opened the door and called the servant on duty. The mother's body was disposed of hastily, and then, since she was born, she saw her father for the second time. The man was sitting behind a large table, his face was pale and handsome, he raised his hand and rubbed between his brows, his expression was lazy and tired : "From now on, how about you follow Concubine Mei?"

"No," the four-year-old said her wish in front of others for the first time, but she was firm and straightforward: "I want to be alone." There was only a short pause, and soon after the case, the slightly hoarse and elegant voice sounded again: "As you wish." Without a trace of hesitation, in his eyes, it seemed that it was superfluous to spend more energy and thinking on her. There were courtiers and foreign officials who wanted to see her, but she was chased and dragged out by the servants. The conversation ended in such a hurry, until four years later, when he passed away without warning, she never saw him again.

After her mother died, she was arranged to live in a remote small palace, and an old maid who always snored while sitting in the sun was assigned to take care of her. The old maid is often seen, but she can also enjoy herself. The garden of the small palace is full of weeds, catching grasshoppers, catching cicadas, stabbing bird's nests, winter to spring, after spending a winter in this deserted courtyard with few people, She met him. On that early spring afternoon, the sun was shining warmly between the glazed tiles and the red wall. She was standing in the yard playing, and the boy wrapped in a thick fur strolled into the garden. To the strange blush printed on his cheeks.

She had seen that kind of blush before. There used to be a palace lady who died of tuberculosis. Before she died, her face always had this strange bright red color. This person won't live long, she thought so, a group of eunuchs and court ladies holding alms bowls and food boxes and whisking the dust appeared behind the boy, shouting anxiously one by one, from those flustered words, she heard a word: "His Royal Highness." This is the prince?The brother in her blood?She has known him for a long time, from the gossip of those maids and servants: he is the son of the most beloved concubine Liu Gui, and he has been canonized as a prince since the day he was born; he is surrounded by the most outstanding Confucian scholars in the empire Or, there are more eunuchs and maids in charge of his daily life than in the Hall of Mental Cultivation, and he would spend hundreds of thousands of taels of silver even to purchase winter clothes; he is the center and topic of this harem, and the glory of the empire tomorrow And Hope, his name is Huan, Bright and Bright.

As if he had noticed her, the boy separated from the crowd and walked towards her with a smile. His hands were folded in the small hand stove on his chest. His movements were a bit difficult because of the cumbersome fur, but the smile on his face was gentle and pure, without any trace of her. Imaginative arrogance and domineering. He smiled, showing her a row of neat teeth: "Little sister, what's your name? Why are you here?" She was slightly startled, and replied lightly, "My name is Ying, and I live here." "Ying?" The young man frowned slightly, and smiled: "Which 'Ying'? There are many words for 'Ying'. Where are your parents, do they live here too?"

She suddenly became a little ashamed and angry. She was born four years ago, and no one has ever taught her how to read: "How do I know which Ying it is? Anyway, it is the one with fire. My mother is dead, and my father is your father!" Surprised by her suddenly heated words, the young man coughed a few times before turning around and asking the eunuch beside him: "Wu Fu, is she the emperor's daughter?" The chubby chief servant bent down with some difficulty, and respectfully leaned into the young man's ear and replied: "Your Highness, she is indeed the flesh and blood of the Long Live Lord, but her mother is humble, and the Long Live Lord does not have..."

"You're very thin," before the chief housekeeper finished speaking, the young man suddenly took his hand out of the hearth and grabbed her hand, stroking the bloody scab around her wrist with his pale fingers: "You Why didn't you take medicine for your wound?" His fingers were still warm from the hand stove, and they were a little hot from the warmth. She pulled out her hand suddenly, and turned her head stubbornly: "No one cares about me." Startled for a moment, he frowned, "I'm sorry." She was stunned, and he actually said sorry to her?

"I'm sorry," the boy said with great effort while coughing in the breeze, "I don't know. I don't go out often. It would be great if I could see you sooner." She thought it was a little funny, why did he say sorry to her?As if it was all his fault?Suddenly, the tip of her nose became sour, and the hot air rushed to her forehead. The boy stretched out his hand again, he took her hand with both hands, and put it gently in his arms: "I'm sorry." She got used to struggling to raise her head, and she just met his eyes, one pupil inside the other, so it was so dark that she couldn't see the end, but she saw her own shadow in his eyes, above the double darkness , is a layer of pupil light as pure as water, clearly reflecting her figure: shoulder-length black hair, bright and dark eyes, delicate and pale face, and charm of eyebrows and eyes, which are eighty percent similar to his.

What remained in her blood made her feel dazed for a moment. Is that the so-called blood connection? "I'm sorry." The boy kept repeating this sentence, opened his arms, and held her in his arms. Her head was buried in the snow fox fur on his chest, the warm breath came through from his thin chest, and there was a faint fragrance in the skirt, like the fragrance of lotus after the rain, clear and transparent, sweet and warm , floating to the tip of her nose. For the first time, she knew that besides the cloyingly sweet powdery smell of eunuchs and maids, people can also smell so good. It was as if a gap had been pried open by these fragrances, and the emotions that had been covered up rushed out violently, like a river breaking through the ice in early spring, burying the top of her head, making her almost unable to breathe—she was just a child It's just that she is afraid of the dark, she is afraid of the cold, she is afraid that no one will pay attention to her again, she is afraid that she will really be like a bunch of weeds, born silently, rotting silently, a life without a trace of light and heat, so hopeless . "I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be alone anymore." She grabbed the boy's sleeve, she held it so tightly, as if when she was two years old, she was holding onto the arm of her mother who was about to be dragged to be punished by the concubine. The clothes were the same, but the mother was finally dragged away by those hideous old maids, and she sat alone on the marble floor and wept.The stone was cold, and echoes could be heard in the empty palace. She heard her cry echoing back, so faint and small, it seemed that no one would ever find out, never, never, anyone would hear her cry, No one will understand her grief. "Let me be with you." Tears welled up in her eyes quickly, she grabbed his sleeve, and suddenly burst into tears: "I don't want to be alone anymore, I want to be with you, I want to be with you!" The young man who had always been calm and self-sufficient panicked. He seemed to have never dealt with such a situation before. While fumbling for a handkerchief from his bosom, he frantically wiped away the tears on her face with his hands. "Don't cry," the boy held back his cough, and softened his voice to comfort him. He imitated an adult and patted the back of the child in his arms: "Don't cry, I will be with you, and I will never leave you alone again." gone." She was still crying, as if she wanted to shed all the tears accumulated after birth. He has been holding her tightly, the boy's chest that is not wide, gently accepting all her sorrows. He wipes the tears off her face and takes her to Gyeongin Palace where he lives. After soaking in a hot bath, she changed into new clothes that were close-fitting and warm. The whole table of colorful snacks was placed in front of her, and when she raised her head, the young man looked at her with a quiet smile, with a doting expression on his face. She didn't gobble up the mouth-watering desserts on the table, but grabbed a piece of rose cake, jumped off the chair and brought the cake to his mouth: "Here you are." The young man bit the pastry, and stroked her ear-level short hair with a smile. His expression was kind and solemn, but there were a few crumbs on the corner of his mouth. She giggled, stood on tiptoe and grabbed his head and neck, and kissed his slightly pale lips. He looked at her with some astonishment and panic, and soon, he laughed again, and a blush was added to his face, which was a little more beautiful than a girl. She smiled happily, and for the first time in her life, she felt that the sun was shining on her, warm and bright, able to melt away all the darkness and coldness. She knew that from this moment onwards, there was finally something she could rely on in her life: he was her brother who would protect her and would never let her be alone again. Since then, she has become a little tail attached to the boy. He gently called her "Ying" and taught her to call him "Brother". Whether it was lectures, calligraphy and martial arts, he would take her with him to eat and rest. Only then did she know that the prince's daily homework was so busy.His body is afraid of cold, as long as he gets a little cold during the day, he will cough all night and can't sleep, but before the next day, he will get up and tidy his clothes again, and go to the Hall of Mental Cultivation to meet his mother and concubine. Please be safe. After returning to Jingren Palace, he would listen to lectures and read books in the morning, and practice martial arts in the afternoon until dusk fell. If there were festivals or ceremonies that he had to attend, these uninterrupted homework would continue until late at night. He has never forgotten the book of rites and music, the art of war and strategy, but his martial arts is supervised by the strict Zhan Shi from Zhan Shi's mansion. His face will be extremely pale, his clothes will be drenched in cold sweat, and his heart will rise and fall as if it is about to jump out of his chest. She is often afraid that he will suddenly faint and never wake up again, but he can always show her tiredness. With a smile, he gently rubbed her head with a slightly trembling cold palm. Even though he was so busy with homework, he would spare time to teach her how to read and write, starting from the simplest poetry and prose, and teaching her to practice handwriting without a trace of impatience. One night, when he was teaching her to practice calligraphy, he was so tired that he fell asleep on the desk. After he woke up, she finally asked him why he didn't take a rest, why he was so tired all the time. He smiled and shook his head: "There are too many things to do. The emperor said that if you sit in that seat, even if you work hard all your life, you still don't have enough time to rest." When it came to that man, she was a little silent. After a long time, she nodded: "I only talked to him once." He was also silent and didn't speak again, but the next night he avoided the servant and took her to the Taiye Pool in the outer city. It was midsummer, the water in the pool was blue, and there were frogs singing in the reeds. He pulled her to squat quietly under a willow tree. She was about to ask him what he was going to do in doubt, when he put his finger on his mouth and made a gesture of silence, with a rare mischievous and cunning expression. He blinked and smiled, pointing forward, the twilight was already dark, looking along his arm, just in time to see a gleam of light rising from the pool water. It was a very tiny yellow-green light, if you didn't look carefully, you wouldn't notice it at all. After this light appeared, like a magic trick, two, three, and more and more light spots appeared in front of her eyes from the aquatic plants, from the rocks by the pond, and from the water surface. After getting used to the darkness, her field of vision gradually became clearer. Accompanied by the fresh night wind, she finally saw the faint dots of light flying densely in the air, shining and moving slowly, forming one piece above her head, boundless, as if Twinkling stars. She stretched out her hand dimly, and a small insect flew between her fingers, as if she had already grasped the starry sky, she giggled: "I have grasped the stars, I have grasped the stars." The boy also laughed, stretched out his hand, opened his palm, and watched those shiny bugs fly past his fingers: "This is a firefly, isn't it beautiful?" She was surprised and delighted by this novelty bug, and nodded: "Firefly, this firefly, is that my Yingzi?" "No," the young man smiled: "The character Ying, with a fire under it, and the character Ying, with a bug under it." He said, pinching her face affectionately: "However, what if One day Ying turns into a little bug, and this 'ying' will become the 'ying' of that little bug." "I don't want to be a bug!" She froze for a moment, realized that he was joking, and screamed to tickle his tickle, and they fell into the grass while fighting. Tired of waiting, she took his hand and lay down in the grass, looking up at the fireflies flying past in front of her, the sky was full of stars hanging behind these little bugs, and the bright Milky Way came from the dark blue sky. The mid-flow passed, and the beauty was astonishing. He stretched out his hand to catch a firefly, then held it in front of her, opened his palm, and the insect slowly flew away with flickering light, and landed on the water surface of the pond, where it rested safely. He said slowly: "Ying, the light of this worm is so weak that it can only illuminate its own body, and it can't even illuminate an inch more. But for this worm, as long as there is light to illuminate Isn't it enough to see the road in front of it and take it to where it is going? Moreover, maybe because its light is not dazzling at all, people don't pay too much attention to them, capture them, and they can So comfortable living by the water. You see, there's nothing wrong with a little light." She gave a soft "hmm", turned over and rested her head on his chest without saying a word. She understood what he meant, the man who had abandoned her and her mother, she had thought about hating him for the rest of her life, but if he wanted her not to, then she wouldn't. "Brother, I just want to be with you, for the rest of my life." After a long time, she said. He smiled slightly and shook his head: "You say that now, but when you grow up, you will meet someone. At that time, you will feel that that person is the one you want to be with all your life." She didn't understand, and asked: "Did you meet someone by chance, and then you want to be with him? How can someone who has never known you want to be with him forever?" He smiled: "I don't understand this either, the teacher told me so." The teacher he was talking about was the strict Zhan Shi from Zhan Shifu, and she vaguely knew that he was a profound and wise person.She never believed in any knowledgeable gentleman, but as long as it was what he said, she believed it. She smiled, turned over and hugged him like a fool: "I don't want anyone else, I want my brother." He also laughed, and pulled her hand around his waist: "Ying, don't make trouble...it's itchy there." The bad guy scratched his itch even harder, and they laughed and quarreled again. As if to prove what he said that night, one day not long after, he met that girl. He met the first minister's daughter who was only one year older than her when he was driving in the autumn hunt. She couldn't get out of the forbidden palace, she couldn't go to the paddock with him, she had no way of knowing what kind of girl that was, and she didn't hear him talk about what happened between them. She just felt that there seemed to be something more about him. After returning, he still smiled quietly at her, but behind that gentle smile, there was something she couldn't understand. That day, he just smiled like this, and said to her: It turns out that there is such a wonderful thing. They are two people who have nothing to do with each other, and they have never met each other, but you will want to keep her under your wings forever. The happiness you live is at least happier than you. As long as you have her smile, no matter how difficult the journey is, you will not feel lonely until you reach the end. "How I wish I could put complete happiness in her hands." He finally sighed softly, and what appeared on his face at that time was a kind of expression she had never seen before, gentle, quiet, With a hint of sadness. She looked at him a little ignorantly, and remembered the extraordinary silence at that moment. When the talking boy grew up, became silent and calm, and put on the mask that belonged to the emperor, she would often recall that mask. A quiet and gentle face. At that moment, that young man completely forgot about the heavy burden on his shoulders and the poison that could end his life at any time, but peacefully hoped that someone would be able to achieve happiness, greater and more happiness than him. happiness. At that time, she looked at him half understanding. It was not until many years later, when she met that person, that she finally realized that there really was such a feeling that happened in an instant, but could last for a lifetime. , Time and distance can't pass away, misunderstanding and estrangement can't be destroyed, despise life and death, have nothing to do with identity, always bloom at the top of the cliff of life, delicate and beautiful. Is that love?She didn't know, she only knew that after pulling those hands together, she never wanted to let go in her life. Four years after meeting him, their shared father died. The emperor died suddenly, the prince was still young, and the empire experienced a short period of panic. All of a sudden, he was put on a formal attire and pushed to the throne, all kinds of cumbersome things pressed him so that he didn't have any time to breathe. He moved to live in the Hall of Mental Cultivation, and she also went to that cramped and dark palace together, and witnessed him walking into the center of the political whirlpool of the empire. In the turbulent undercurrent day after day, his face became paler, but his eyes Quickly, there was a kind of sharpness hidden inside, like a sword that has not been drawn out of its sheath, after being sharpened for the first time, it faintly reveals the peerless elegance. She couldn't see the struggle between him and the increasingly ambitious Ling Shoufu, she just vaguely sensed the smell of gunpowder, from the people in the palace's growing fear of Ling Shoufu and the surrounding people began to increase on unfamiliar faces. Until one day, she witnessed the death of the female official serving food in the Hall of Mental Cultivation. After the female official tasted the milk brought in from the imperial dining room, she immediately turned blue and fell under the table. He hurriedly ran down from his seat to help the female official, but his newly acquired unfamiliar medical skills were still too late to save the poisoned person.The poisoner used an extremely potent poison that could kill a person in an instant.Using this kind of poison, the other party didn't intend to take his life, but was demonstrating, right? That day, he silently looked at the gradually cooling corpse in his arms. After a long time, he stood up, smiled at her who was standing stiffly aside, and patted her head: "Is it scary? Don't be afraid." She shook her head, walked over and hugged his trembling body because of forced suppression of anger.Her body was also trembling a little, she hugged him tightly, her gaze was always on the horrifying face of the corpse. Not long after that day, he abolished the rule that imperial food must be tasted by a female official before eating to confirm that it is not poisonous.She found him one afternoon not long after, and told him she wanted to learn how to make drugs. He was a little dumb, looked at her and smiled: "Why do you want to learn this all of a sudden?" She doesn't care: "boring." He has always had nothing to do with her, so he continued to laugh and said, "Ying, why do you want to learn this?" She didn't answer his question, but took his cool palm, put it on her shoulder and pressed it, and looked up into his eyes: "Brother, can't I learn something useful?" He was stunned, and quickly laughed: "It's not good for girls to learn how to make poison. How about I teach you how to make incense? They are all learning various medicinal materials and their usage." She nodded irresponsibly: "I just need to learn that kind of thing." He smiled helplessly: "I hope you will never be able to become a teacher." She looked at him even more rascally, and smiled: "That's how it is, if one day the poison I made can poison you to death, then I can be a teacher." "Oh? Then it depends on your ability?" He also laughed. She never had much contact with anyone other than him, and the only person who taught her was him. In order to teach her knowledge, he first took time to learn the formulas of various spices and the properties of materials, and then Pass it on to her bit by bit. Time flies so fast when you focus on something.Unknowingly, a few years have passed by.In order to have a more open space to make incense, she moved from her original residence to the secluded Yinghua Hall, and gradually became proficient in the functions of various spices and medicinal materials, and even thoroughly studied the collected formulas of past dynasties. Those scents that were as elusive as dancing snakes before her became tame and cuddled, and became silk threads lingering between her fingers, and she could use them to weave the most gorgeous and magnificent cloth if she wanted to. After learning something, she often racks her brains to formulate new incense and show it to him.At first it was a demonstration in front of him, and then she was playing for a while, and while he was away, she secretly put spices in the clothes he was going to change, and then hid aside to see if he could notice. Unexpectedly, he laughed as soon as he entered the room, picked up the cloth with his hand, put it on the tip of his nose and sniffed it, then looked at her hiding place: "Bingian, Cymbidium, Mixiansan, have you named it?" She used borneol and Cymbidium powder to subtly cover the faint fragrance of Emei Pai Mixiansan, making the fragrance almost tasteless. However, the carefully blended fragrance still had no effect on him at all. She suddenly jumped out from behind the bookcase where she was hiding, and made a face at him: "Drunk Immortal! My name is Drunk Immortal!" He smiled softly, with a bit of teasing joke: "Colorless and tasteless, it is even more difficult to guard against than Mixiansan. It's really a god that would be drunk. It's a good name." She had no choice but to stick out her tongue at him angrily: "Don't be complacent! See if I make you fall headfirst next time!" Just like this, half serious and half playful, she began to "fight" with him, and every time she formulated a new product, she would use all her brains to use it on him, and in the end, he broke it easily every time. One poisoning and one cracking, this extremely dangerous action in the eyes of others, has become a game that they never tire of. As for why she wanted to learn the real purpose of making poison, he never asked, and she never said it, but since she finished her studies, no one in this palace dared to use poison to cause trouble again—when it comes to poisoning, there is still Who would dare to play tricks in front of her? It's just that there are gradually rumors in the palace that the person who lives in the Yinghua Palace is a person who intends to kill the emperor with poison.As for the enmity between her and the emperor, and why the emperor tolerated her, everyone murmured. Some guessed that she was the orphan of the late emperor, some guessed that she was the abandoned concubine of the late emperor, and some even contacted the secrets of the palace decades ago. She is after a certain minister. She ignored all these, tended to the flowers and plants in the yard, and played with the materials in the house. The fragrance of the plants and flowers filled her nose, and her life was leisurely. The years in Yinghua Palace flowed silently before her eyes with the four seasons. Until that day, after she finished pouring water for Du Heng in front of the house, she looked up and saw a figure hurriedly walking towards the gate of the palace.It was a dignified woman, with gold hairpins and jade rings, and a low skirt. She walked very quickly on the bluestone floor of the hall, with determination in her footsteps. Coming straight to her, the woman lowered her head and looked directly at her: "I heard that you want to kill Lord Long Live, how about we join forces?" Is this the girl he was talking about?The girl who made him show that gentle expression? No, definitely not her. She raised her head slightly, and met those deep black eyes that came from her blood, she heard her crisp Cong Rong voice, saying: "Okay, I'm so happy to hear that someone wants to kill brother, Empress Defei. " The woman breathed a deep sigh of relief as if she had unloaded something, and a trace of relief or disappointment appeared in the corner of her eyes, hanging on that handsome face, faintly revealing sadness. She quietly looked at the woman in front of her, twisted her fingers lightly, and entangled a new fragrance, added poppy pollen, which is non-toxic, but it will become addictive after a long time of smelling, and she yearned for a stronger smell every time. . The fragrant mist gathered on her fingertips like a flower, and a thin smile appeared on her lips. She stretched out her hand to her: "Empress Defei, this incense is for you. It's called 'I can't ask for it'." The woman in fine clothes looked at her, and the sadness in her eyes could no longer be concealed. In the end, she stretched out her hand, hugged the fragrant mist, and thanked in a low voice: "It smells good, I like it very much. " She looked at her with a smile, but she seemed to see the situation belonging to De Youchao, which was quietly opening. The twenty-second day of the twelfth lunar month in the eighth year of Deyou. Standing in front of the Hall of Supreme Harmony, she watched the man who had changed his name to Wuchang knock him off the high platform with a single palm; she watched the girl brought out by him faint on the platform; she watched Li Hongqing who was the first to rush down in a panic After picking up his body, he suddenly froze; watching Li Hongqing being knocked away quickly and fell to the ground, the man picked up his body and quickly disappeared behind the palace wall; watching the chasing queen mother murmuring After hearing the words "I'm out of breath", my face bled instantly; I saw the Chu king Xiao Qianqing who came out with them hugged the girl, and rushed out of the palace from the siege regardless of his life... Among the sad and desperate crowd at that moment, she raised her head alone, looking in the direction where the person who carried him away disappeared. She knew that person, as early as the year when she first moved into Yinghua Palace, she saw that person beside her bed one morning, with a mask on her face and a suit of green clothes, standing in front of her bed, Watching her quietly. After seeing her wake up, that person slowly took off the mask on his face. His face was still pale and handsome, and there was an indelible laziness and boredom between his brows. However, this time, the sunlight outside the window shone on his face. , she saw a gentle smile in his eyes. The tip of her nose suddenly became sore, she climbed out of the quilt and raised her head: "Are you not dead?" The man smiled softly, and when he laughed, he actually had the same gentleness as his brother: "Yes, I'm not dead, so don't tell others, not even your brother." Without even thinking about it, she asked the second question: "Why did you name me Ying?" He still smiled so lightly, "Ying, light like a firefly, isn't it good?" She stared at him blankly, then yelled at him like losing her temper: "You don't care what kind of light I am!" In the tearful eyes after roaring, she saw him smiling so slightly, just like the boy by the pond that night, his dark eyes seemed to be filled with the entire starry sky. She is a free firefly, that boy once said so, and now, she finally heard that person say, the person she resented, complained, swore never to forgive, but was longing for his embrace all the time, Father. In the cold wind of the twelfth lunar month in the eighth year of Deyou, she looked in the direction where he disappeared, then walked over quietly step by step, and grabbed the corner of Li Hongqing who was leaning against the stone wall because of being injured, very lightly, Said in a voice barely perceptible amidst the din: "It will not die." As if awakened suddenly, the injured commander of the imperial guard grabbed her shoulder anxiously: "Ying, are you hurt?" He then froze: "What did you just say?" She looked up, tiptoed to kiss his face, and smiled softly: "I said, it won't be extinguished, such a light." A drop of tear slid down her eye socket and dripped onto her hand, and the warm touch became clearer little by little. Just like the noble young man who broke into her small courtyard many years ago, he took his hand out of the stove and held her little muddy hand without any hesitation, it was so warm. At that time, she thought in a trance, maybe he is really a light, warm, and can always shine light far away.