Chapter 7 Chapter 6 Will you be my boyfriend

Facing the reality of chai, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce and vinegar tea, I didn't even have the courage to start!But I plan carefully for the future, what's wrong? There was a popular saying on the Internet: Every girl will meet a scumbag when she grows up.I scoffed at this and thought it should be changed to: Every stupid girl will meet a scumbag when she grows up.A girl like me who has no illusions about love and is so rational that she is completely unlovable can never fall in love with a man she shouldn't love. Unexpectedly, many years after my formative years ended, one day I would face such a predicament.Although Wu Julan is not a scumbag, but liking him, the final result is probably not much better than liking a scumbag.

Intellectually, I knew that my feelings for him should not be correct, and I wanted to pull out all the feelings that had grown up in my heart and burn them to death like pulling weeds and burning waste paper.However, the feelings that have already occurred are not the weeds in the flower pot, which can be pulled out if you say it; nor the pieces of paper in the wastebasket, which you can burn if you say it.The only thing I can do is to restrain and dilute it rationally until it disappears little by little with the passage of time. I have always believed that there is no eternity in this world. If we must say eternity, the only eternity in the universe is that everything will disappear with time.

Whether it is a love or a vow; whether it is a mountain or a sea; even the earth we live on, the sun that shines on us, and the universe that holds everything, as long as there is enough time, they will eventually die and disappear. Since even the seemingly eternal things like the sun and the universe can disappear with time, what is my trivial feeling? I am confident that it will go away if I give it time. Although I wanted to get rid of the feelings that shouldn't be in my heart, I didn't intend to drive Wu Julan away, not only because I promised to help him through this unlucky time, but also because Wu Julan didn't make any mistakes at work.It was my own fault that I fell in love with him, and I cannot punish him for my own mistakes.

I decided to use a gentle method to alienate Wu Julan and downplay my feelings. First, I started paying him a salary.Because Wu Julan holds multiple jobs, his salary must be higher than that of a waiter. He will be paid another 2,500 yuan a month for food and housing.In terms of money, I have made it clear that Wu Julan and I are in an employment relationship, and we pay money and money for everything. Again, I don't speak so casually to him anymore.Use "please", "please" and "thank you" for everything, and be as polite as possible.I know how bloodless this method is, because my stepfather did it to me.My stepfather has studied in England for many years, and he transferred all the etiquette that British nobles treat their servants to me.Always polite, always polite, seems so gentlemanly and polite, but every action, every word and deed reminds me that he is the master, and I am an outsider living in his house, there is always a distance, never in the same class .

In the end, I tried my best to avoid being alone in the same space with Wu Julan.If I have to tell him something, I will stand at the door and leave immediately after speaking in a polite and polite tone.Keeping a distance is always the best way to resolve ambiguous feelings. I believe Wu Julan noticed my change immediately, but he didn't care at all, as if I had treated him like this from the very beginning, and I was still indifferent and indifferent. I obviously made a decision to kill my feelings, so I shouldn't care about his reaction, and I should even be happy that he doesn't care.But seeing with my own eyes that he doesn't care and doesn't care, I feel very uncomfortable, and even feel disappointed and ashamed of being let down.

Is every woman so contradictory in love? I try my best to ignore the other party and want to draw a clear line, but when I find myself being ignored by the other party, I feel very sad and unwilling. Amidst the entanglement of conflicts, my attitude towards Wu Julan became more and more strange.Not only Wu Julan, but also Zhou Buwen and Jiang Yisheng noticed it. Zhou Buwen just watched coldly and didn't ask any further questions, but Jiang Yisheng didn't hold back. One night, the four of us had dinner together.When I said "Trouble you" to Wu Julan again, Jiang Yisheng frowned and said, "Did you two quarrel? Tell me if you have any unpleasantness, don't hold it in your heart. You are so awkward, even I All feel bad."

I immediately denied it, "No! What conflicts can we have? Shouldn't I be more polite?" Jiang Yisheng stared at me with obvious disbelief. "There is really no conflict. If there was a conflict, Wu Julan would have left long ago. My place is not a good place. I will stay here if I am unhappy. Right! Wu Julan?" I looked at Wu Julan asking for confirmation. Wu Julan raised his eyes to look at me, his eyes were as usual, calm and deep, without waves.But I felt a chill in my heart, knowing that I was pushing myself, maybe, I was also pushing Wu Julan. Wu Julan said lightly to Jiang Yisheng: "There is no contradiction." After speaking, he lowered his head and ate in silence.

My heart was throbbing and painful, but I didn't look at Wu Julan, I deliberately chatted and laughed with Zhou Buwen, chatting about the embarrassing things when I was a child, and talking about what was fun, looking very happy. I once read a sentence in a book, "Women are born to be entertainers." I couldn't understand it before, but now I finally understand it.Every time I deliberately hurt Wu Julan, I actually feel more uncomfortable than him, but I always act like I don't care. After dinner, when Jiang Yisheng was about to go home, I tugged him and whispered, "Do me a favor."

Jiang Yisheng followed me upstairs and walked into my bedroom, only to find that the curtain rod of one window was loose.It is not a technically difficult job, but two people must hold the pole together to maintain the level before it can be installed. After installing the curtain rod, Jiang Yisheng jumped off the table, pushed the table back to its original position, and said, "Aren't you having any conflicts with Cousin Wu? You didn't come to him for this matter, but you came to me instead?" I leaned against the window and said nothing. Jiang Yisheng said earnestly: "You don't have many relatives, I think Cousin Wu treats you well, people should cherish blessings, don't do too much!"

I said sullenly: "He is not my cousin at all, and I have no blood relationship with him." Jiang Yisheng was taken aback for a moment, and said: "No wonder I always feel that there is something strange, but because I have identified the two of you as brothers and sisters, I haven't thought about it. You, you..." He showed a suddenly realized expression, and asked in shock: "You Is it... isn't it?" I knew what he was going to ask, looked out the window at night, and admitted frankly, "I like him." Jiang Yisheng sighed, and said, "Cousin Wu is pretty good, but in my heart, I've always hoped that you would like Datou."

I said painfully: "I also hope that I can like the big head!" Jiang Yisheng asked puzzledly: "What's the matter with you? Cousin Wu is not a scourge, if you like it, you will like it. What is there to worry about?" I hesitated for a moment and said, "The lie he lied was not only about his cousin's identity, but also his occupation. He never went to college at all, and he couldn't even type on a computer at first. How can he know programming?" "He turned out to be a liar!" Jiang Yi was furious, and rolled up his sleeves to beat someone up. I hurriedly stopped him, "Wu Julan didn't lie to me! When I first met him, he was a penniless homeless man. I asked him about his education and job, and he told the truth. He had no diploma and no job." .” Jiang Yisheng looked at me in shock as if listening to the Arabian Nights, "You mean, you picked up a homeless man?" I nod. Jiang Yisheng touched my forehead and murmured: "Xiao Luo, your family has no genetic history of mental illness! How could you do such a crazy thing?" "I'm not crazy, I know exactly what I'm doing! You haven't tasted homelessness, you will never understand us..." I knocked off his hand, expressing that I didn't want to dwell on this issue, "Even if you come again Once, I will still do it!" Jiang Yisheng asked: "Have you seen his ID card? If you know where he is from, I can find a way to check him for you." I was a little guilty, and said hesitantly: "He said... he didn't have an ID card. I don't know whether he lost his ID card, or... a black household who doesn't have an ID card at all." Jiang Yisheng tapped me on the head, and said angrily: "Maybe he is a wanted criminal! After murdering and stealing goods, he fled to our place." I pursed my mouth and looked at Jiang Yisheng, as if I was about to cry or not. Jiang Yisheng's heart softened immediately, and he quickly comforted me and said, "I scared you! Wu Julan doesn't look like a bad guy. If he were a bad guy, he would have done all the bad things he should have done. But... Xiao Luo, you clearly know his situation, so why are you still talking?" Will you like him? Is this kind of person suitable for marriage? " I turned my head and said in a low voice, "I just know that I shouldn't like him, so it hurts!" Jiang Yisheng patted me on the shoulder, sighed, and really didn't know what to say. I lowered my head and said sadly: "Falling in love with such a person is simply more tragic than falling in love with a scumbag!" Jiang Yisheng said with relief: "Okay, okay! Don't you just like it! Look at my girlfriends, at first they rushed over regardless, chasing me and saying love, love, but when they arrived at my house, they saw The appearance of my father and my grandma gave up, which proves that it is not difficult for a woman to give up a relationship. Since you know it is not suitable, just give up!" I punched Jiang Yisheng dumbfounded, "Are you comforting me, or are you scolding me?" Jiang Yisheng said with a smile: "No matter what it is, as long as you are happy." I said: "I'm fine, you hurry home!" The two of them couldn't be more familiar, I just sent Jiang Yisheng to the stairs, "Remember to lock the courtyard door for me." Jiang Yisheng said: "Don't feel bad, there is someone waiting for you!" After speaking, he pointed to the room at the other end of the corridor. I raised my foot, making a gesture to kick Jiang Yisheng, "Get lost!" Jiang Yisheng quickly took off the flip-flops on my feet, threw them hard, and smashed them against the door of Zhou Buwen's room.I cursed and hopped over to pick up my shoes. Zhou Buwen opened the door and asked with a smile, "What's wrong with you?" Jiang Yisheng laughed loudly and rushed downstairs, "I'm leaving, you guys have a good chat!" Zhou Buwen and I stood at the door and chatted for a while, then went back to our room.After taking a shower, applying a facial mask, and watching TV for a while, I lie down on the bed and get ready for sleep. Jiang Yisheng said that it is not difficult to give up a relationship, and I once believed so firmly, but now I am not sure.Because I found that the more suppressed my feelings for Wu Julan seemed to be, the more vigorous they became. I understand all the truths; I understand all the evil consequences, but I just can't control them. Indeed, the only constant in the entire universe is that everything perishes.This is true for the earth, it is true for the sun, it will be true for the entire universe, but it will take long enough.In ten thousand years, the stars disappear; in a thousand years, the sea dries up; in a hundred years, species become extinct; can anyone tell me how long it takes for a relationship to disappear? If not months, not years, but decades... Of course, the final result must follow the law that everything will disappear, because our body will disappear, and the emotions attached to the body will naturally disappear. The more I thought about it, the more disturbed I became, and I simply got up. Open the curtains, sit by the window, and look at the moon in the sky.It was the night of the full fifteenth moon, and there were no stars in the sky, only a bright full moon piercing in and out of the clouds. I plucked a dragon spit bead flower from the vine that climbed by the window, and played it around in my hand. In the dead of night and the silence of everything, I actually thought of many things about Jiang Yisheng. Since childhood, Jiang Yisheng has been a prodigy with both good character and learning and many talents. He was originally in the same class as me, but later he skipped three grades in a row and went to be a classmate with Datou. He still took the first place in every exam.After the college entrance examination, he entered a prestigious medical school without any accidents, and completed seven years of combined undergraduate and master's studies in four years. People say that there is always a thin line between a genius and a lunatic. In a sense, Jiang Yisheng is the real embodiment of this saying.Jiang Yisheng's family has a history of genetic mental illness, not everyone will suffer from it, his grandfather and cousin are normal.But his father fell ill when he was eleven years old. During that time, we got close by chance and became good friends.When he was sixteen, his grandmother was paralyzed in bed due to a stroke.In a family of four, two of them are patients. It is impossible for Jiang Yisheng to leave his aging mother to face everything alone.Originally, with his excellent grades, he could have stayed in the big city to work, but in order to take care of his relatives, he returned to the island. Jiang Yisheng is tall and has long legs. He is born with peach blossom eyes. He has a suave and suave appearance. He is smart, cheerful and talented. He is very attractive to girls.Ever since he was in college, there have been many girls chasing him, but as long as Jiang Yisheng led the girl to the house once in every relationship, it would end without a problem. I still clearly remember that when I was about to graduate from university, once Jiang Yisheng was drunk, took my hand, and murmured: "I completely understand them, they all cried and said 'sorry', but I don't need 'I'm sorry', I just want, want to be alone..." Jiang Yisheng covered his wet eyes with my hand, even though he was drunk, he still didn't dare to express the extravagant hope in his heart. Because I know too well the hurt that Jiang Yisheng received without caring, I really hate those girls who love but dare not love deeply. Once they encounter reality, they will immediately shrink back. But tonight, I suddenly discovered that there is no difference between me and those girls I once hated. Facing the reality of chai, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar tea, I didn’t even have the courage to start!But I plan carefully for the future, what's wrong? I lay powerlessly by the window, feeling oppressed and unspeakable, for both Jiang Yisheng and myself. I thought about it, struggled for a while, and stood up. Gently opened the door, and tiptoed downstairs, knowing that Wu Julan must be sleeping at this point, I didn't really understand my thoughts.But I just can't contain my urge to get close to him, even if it's just by his door. When I walked outside the study, I found that the door of the study was not closed. I hesitated for a moment and walked in. The shutters of the study room were not lowered, and the bright moonlight outside the window poured into the room like mercury, making the surroundings not dark at all.Across the shelf, I vaguely saw that the bed was empty, as if there was no one sleeping. "Wu Julan?" I called tentatively, but no one answered. I immediately rushed to the bed, the bed was clean, the quilt was not even opened, obviously Wu Julan never slept here tonight. I panicked, and immediately turned on all the lights, from the study to the living room, from the kitchen to the yard, and searched all the downstairs, but I didn't see Wu Julan. I hurried upstairs and opened the doors of the two guest rooms, but Wu Julan was still nowhere to be seen. I couldn't help shouting: "Wu Julan! Wu Julan! Where are you..." Zhou Buwen opened the door and asked in confusion, "What's wrong?" I panicked and said, "Wu Julan is gone, do you know where he went?" "Don't worry, a big living person will not be lost." Zhou Buwen accompanied me from the second floor to the first floor, searched all the rooms again, and confirmed that Wu Julan was indeed missing. I was like an ant on a hot pot, wandering around in the yard, unable to figure out where Wu Julan had gone. Zhou Buwen recalled, "The last time I saw Wu Julan was around eight o'clock. Jiang Yisheng was dragged upstairs by you, and I was going to go upstairs to rest. Before going upstairs, I saw Wu Julan cleaning the yard and clearing the tables and chairs." My heart moved, I stopped, and looked towards the place where the rattan chair was stored. Under the bright moonlight, Jiulixiang flowers are fragrant, green vines are dancing, white dragon spit bead flowers are swaying, rattan tables and rattan chairs are neatly placed under the flower stands.My eyes follow the climbing vines up, first to the wall, then - my bedroom window. I covered my mouth all of a sudden. He heard it! He heard those words that made him useless, and I even said that liking him is better than liking a scumbag! I opened the courtyard door and rushed out, Zhou Buwen asked anxiously, "Where are you going?" "I'm going to the pier. I can't let Wu Julan just leave. Even if he wants to leave, I have to make it clear." I went crazy and kept running. Zhou Buwen shouted: "Now that the car is gone, how do you go to the pier..." Zhou Buwen chased for a while, but found that I was completely deaf, so he could only run to knock on the door of Jiang Yisheng's house. Jiang Yisheng drove Zhou Buwen and me to the pier. At one o'clock in the morning, there was no one at the pier.Amidst the sound of the surging waves, there are only dots of lights, illuminating the cool night like water. I ran back and forth along the pier, but I didn't find Wu Julan, so I couldn't help shouting: "Wu Julan! Wu Julan..." In the sound of waves after waves, my voice was swallowed up as soon as it came out. Standing by the railing, looking at the dark, vast and boundless sea, I suddenly realized that Wu Julan could appear in front of me without any warning, and naturally he could disappear without any warning. If he just goes away and never sees him again, I, I... I was full of fear, staggered, and was about to fall, but Zhou Buwen supported me, "There are only two boats to the outlying islands a day, even if Cousin Angkor wants to leave, he will have to wait until tomorrow morning at the earliest." I shook my head and said painfully, "There are still fishing boats." Jiang Yisheng hurried over and helped me sit on the bench waiting for the boat with Zhou Buwen, "It is even more impossible for the fishing boat to leave the island so late. I just asked the person on night shift, and he said that after nine o'clock in the evening, If no fishing boat left, Wu Julan must still be on the island." I stood up abruptly, "I'll go find him." Jiang Yisheng stopped me, "Where can you find him? Whether he is a passenger ship or a fishing boat, he will leave from the pier. We will wait here and we will definitely see him." Zhou Buwen said: "There's no need for the three of you to spend time together. Yi Sheng, take Xiao Luo home, and I'll wait here. Once I see Cousin Wu, I'll call you." I refused to leave, Jiang Yisheng said: "What if Wu Julan is just depressed, how about going out for a walk? Maybe he has gone home now." Zhou Buwen also persuaded: "I was too anxious just now, you go back and check his things, if the clothes and money are there, it means that you must be thinking about it." I heard what they said made sense, and I couldn't wait to rush home. Jiang Yisheng accompanied me back home, and as soon as I entered the door, I yelled: "Wu Julan! Wu Julan..." No one answered. Jiang Yisheng looked around and shook his head helplessly, "I haven't come back yet." I rushed into the study, looked through Wu Julan's things, and found that all the clothes and pants I bought for him were there, as well as the 2,500 yuan salary I forced him to pay. Seeing this, Jiang Yisheng breathed a sigh of relief, and said, "Don't be nervous, he must not have left." I stared blankly at Wu Julan's things.Living alone in the world, food, clothing, housing, and transportation are all necessary. I think it is very simple, but when I really pack my things, I need several big boxes.But Wu Julan has only a few things, even half a drawer is not full, I feel very sad. Jiang Yisheng advised me to go to sleep for a while, but I refused, so Jiang Yisheng could only sit with me in the living room and wait.He worked all day during the day, after all, he was exhausted, and he lay on the sofa, slowly getting lost. I took a blanket and covered him, seeing that he was sleeping soundly, I turned off the headlights and went to the study. I stood by the bogu stand, looked at the empty room, and was tormented by regret and pain in my heart. The computer's power light kept blinking, and I moved the mouse, and the display screen lit up.I remember turning off the computer after I finished using it in the afternoon, and it seemed that no one used the computer at night. With a move in my heart, I opened the webpage and checked the historical search records. The latest search record is "scumbag". I opened the webpage that Wu Julan had browsed. Scumbag: An abbreviation for "scumbag-type man", it refers to a man who does not think about progress in his career, has no responsibility for his family, and abandons himself to life.Also used for men who are misbehaving, cheating and playing with women's feelings. Wu Julan has never been on the Internet before, so he doesn't know the Internet word "scumbag". When he searched out this word and read its explanation carefully, what kind of mood did he feel? I looked at his other search records, "treatment after hand injury", "renovation wiring diagram"... none of them were searched by me, naturally Wu Julan searched. This is what the person whom I scolded as inferior to a scumbag did for me!I felt ashamed and hurt as if I had been slapped several times. I stood up abruptly, grabbed a flashlight, and left the house. I didn't know where to find Wu Julan, but I just felt that I had to find him, and I couldn't leave him alone outside. I found the foot of the mountain from Matsu Mountain, walked along the coastline, one foot deep and one foot shallow on the reef, calling out: "Wu Julan! Wu Julan..." On this island, he has no relatives, no friends, and nowhere to go.If he was insulted, he was in a bad mood, and if he wanted to find a quiet place, he could only stay in these secluded places. My heart was twisted like a knife, and tears rolled in my eyes. From the first day we met, I knew he was alone, with no relatives to turn to, no friends to turn to.But I treated him the way my stepfather treated me just because I wanted to kill my own feelings.I thought that paying him a salary of more than 2,000 was considered equal treatment, and I felt very kind to myself when I made it clear that I bullied someone who was helpless. "Wu—ah!" I slipped and fell heavily on the rocks. Although the moonlight is bright and there is a flashlight, the reef is wet and slippery, and if one does not step on it firmly, one will fall.I didn't care about the pain, so I picked up the flashlight and continued to search, calling out, "Wu Julan! Wu Julan..." I found it at dawn at two o'clock in the morning. I don't know how many times I fell and my voice became hoarse, but I still couldn't find Wu Julan. The phone rang suddenly, and I thought it was Zhou Buwen, so I hurriedly answered the phone, "Did you see Wu Julan?" "No." "Is he home yet?" "No. Where are you, Jiang Yisheng and I..." I didn't hear what Zhou Buwen said later. The hand hangs down weakly, as if the soul has been sucked out of the whole person, staring blankly at the waves in the distance hitting the reef one after another, breaking into thousands of white waves. The thought of "I can't find Wu Julan again" tightly strangled my throat like a rope of death, which made me almost unable to breathe. My chest was swollen and painful, as if I was about to die. Suddenly, a familiar figure appeared in the blue sea and blue sky. Wu Julan, dressed in white and black trousers, walked slowly towards me stepping on the rocks. I looked at him stupidly as if in a dream, until he stopped in front of me. I rubbed my eyes to make sure it wasn't a hallucination, and rushed over, completely forgetting that the road under my feet was not a smooth road, but a piece of uneven rocks. When I stepped on the air and was about to fall hard, a pair of hands grabbed me firmly and carried me to the reef. Like a climbing vine, I immediately grabbed his wrist and said hoarsely, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry..." Without saying a word, he looked slowly from my hand to my arm.Last night, in a hurry, I forgot to change and ran out in short-sleeved pajamas.After countless falls on the reef, he now has colorful cuts on his arms. I immediately withdrew my hand, "I accidentally fell, the reef is too slippery." Wu Julan asked, "Why are you here?" My face flushed, "I... came to find you. Yes, I'm sorry!" "Sorry for what?" "I know you heard what I said last night." Wu Julan said lightly: "You think too much, I'm not angry, and I don't intend to leave without saying goodbye. I just have something to do and want to stay alone for a night." I don't believe his words, but no matter what, he is still in front of me now, and I still have a chance to make up for the mistakes I made. This is already the greatest gift God has given me. When Wu Julan and I got home, Zhou Buwen and Jiang Yisheng rushed over immediately, complaining that I ran out without saying hello. I listened silently, and Wu Julan cherished words like gold. Zhou Buwen said to Wu Julan: "Cousin Wu, no matter what conflicts you have with Xiaoluo, we are adults, we need to communicate well, how can we run away from home like a child? You know how much Xiaoluo was last night. Are you in a hurry?" I said, "It's none of Wu Julan's business, it's me..." Jiang Yisheng raised his hand and made a stop gesture, indicating that everything is over, "Okay! Don't talk about it! Just come back safely, you didn't sleep last night, you should catch up on sleep during the day!" He took his coat and car key, intending to leave. I stopped him and said in a low voice, "Help me get a mobile phone for Wu Julan. The quality and signal are both good. Charge 1,000 yuan to the phone bill, and I'll give you the money back." Jiang Yisheng understood that I was frightened, and he didn't want the incident of not being able to contact Wu Julan to happen again. He suppressed his voice and asked, "Will he want it? The poorer a man is, the stronger his self-esteem." I said, "He has never had the self-awareness of being a poor man. In his eyes, there is no difference between a pair of old slippers and a new mobile phone. You will know later." Jiang Yisheng raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Okay!" As he walked out, he waved to Wu Julan and Zhou Buwen, "I'm off to work, and I'll come back in the evening." Wu Julan walked straight into the study, and I followed behind him like a marionette.He turned around and asked lightly, "What else do you want to say?" "I'm sorry" has already been said, and he also said "not angry, nor intending to leave without saying goodbye", it seems that there is really nothing to say. I said embarrassingly: "No, you have a good rest." I exited the study and helped Wu Julan close the door.Turning around, I saw Zhou Buwen standing in the aisle, looking at me thoughtfully, I forced a smile and said, "You worked hard last night, let's sleep during the day!" I went back to the bedroom and briefly rinsed and changed into clean clothes.I was drying my hair when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door and it was Zhou Buwen. He raised the disinfectant and cotton wool in his hand, "I see that you have injuries on your arms." The disinfectant and cotton swabs he took were things I didn’t use up after my last injury. Even I didn’t know where Wu Julan kept them. I asked, “Where did you find this?” Zhou Buwen said, "Ask Cousin Wu for it." I came up with a very weird idea, if Zhou Buwen was not busy, maybe Wu Julan would have brought the potion up by himself.In a blink of an eye, he felt that he was being sentimental, and it would be magnanimous for him not to be angry with me. Seeing me standing in a daze, Zhou Buwen patted the sofa, "Come here!" I sat next to him and said, "It's just a few scrapes, don't bother." "It's better to disinfect it." He took the soaked cotton wool and wanted to wipe it for me. I hurriedly said, "I'll do it myself." I lowered my head to disinfect the wound on my arm, and Zhou Buwen looked at me intently. I asked, "What are you looking at me for?" "Xiao Luo, did you throw away the letter I wrote to you?" I bent down, and while gently pressing the wound on my ankle with cotton wool, I said nonchalantly, "No." Zhou Buwen asked, "When are you going to write back to me?" I was so frightened that I froze all of a sudden. After a while, I straightened up and said as calmly as possible: "It's been so many years since I wrote and played for fun when I was young. Now you have a successful career and a wealthy family. You have a lot of money in a big city." With a house and a car, there must be many girls who like you..." Zhou Buwen held my hand, and I immediately shut up. "You're talking about everything that Zhou Buwen has, but I'm not only Zhou Buwen, I'm still Li Jing. Although I changed my name after my father, I know who I am. Xiao Luo, when we parted It's been too long, I originally wanted to give us some time and take our time, but I'm afraid that if we slow down, it will really be too late." I was in a daze, and looked at Zhou Buwen stupidly.Although Jiang Yisheng kept making jokes about me and Zhou Buwen, but I never took it seriously, because I didn't feel any strange feelings between us at all. Zhou Buwen held my hand with one hand, put the other on the back of the sofa, stared at me and said, "Xiaoluo, if I hadn't left, maybe we would have been together long ago." I pulled out my hand and said as gently as possible: "But there is no possibility in life..." Zhou Buwen obviously didn't listen to my words, he bent down and wanted to kiss me. I retreated immediately, and I was stuck on the back of the sofa, and there was nowhere to retreat.I had to press my hands hard against Zhou Buwen's chest, "Big head, don't do this!" Zhou Buwen lost control of his emotions and wanted to forcefully kiss me regardless. "Big head, big head..." The two were entangled fiercely. Suddenly, there was a crisp "pop" sound from the yard, reminding us that we are not the only two of us in this room. Zhou Buwen finally calmed down. He let go of me, lowered his head, and asked in frustration: "Why? You know me, and I know you. I know exactly what you want, everything you want, and I can give it to you now. You, a stable family, a stable life, and a stable future, I thought it would be natural for us to be together." "I'm sorry." I knew very well that in this world, there might not be anyone more suitable for me than Zhou Buwen.He knows everything about me, but still accepts and likes me.From childhood to adulthood, he can give everything I desire.However, I just can't accept that my heart has been occupied by another person. Zhou Buwen asked: "Could it be that the relationship we grew up with is no match for the time we've been apart?" "I'm sorry, but our relationship is another kind of relationship." Zhou Buwen was silent for a while, pulled himself together, and said with a smile: "Don't say sorry. I haven't given up. You are not married yet, and I still have a chance." Just as I was about to speak, Zhou Buwen stretched out his hand, motioning for me not to say anything.I could only swallow the words that had come to my lips. Zhou Buwen said: "I'm going to sleep for a while, you have a good rest." He had already opened the door, and suddenly turned around, "I forgot to ask you something, is Wu Julan really your cousin?" I shake my head. Zhou Buwen showed an expression of "as expected", walked out of the bedroom with a smile, and closed the door gently. I sat blankly for a while, and suddenly remembered something, jumped up, ran to the window, and looked down secretly. Wu Julan was sweeping the floor with a broom and dustpan, and it turned out that the "pop" was the sound of a glass falling on the stone floor. After cleaning the broken glass, he turned and entered the house. Without even thinking about it, I immediately opened the door, ran downstairs, and rushed to the study. The door of the study was closed, I raised my hand to knock on the door, but retracted again. I didn't have the courage to go in, but I didn't want to leave.So, he just stood in front of the door foolishly. I don't know how long I stood there, the door was suddenly opened, and Wu Julan stood in front of me. I was startled, and said with a dry smile, "I was about to knock on the door, but you opened it unexpectedly, ha ha... what a coincidence!" Knock on the door. Wu Julan stared at me without saying a word. I think I probably... insulted his IQ again. I put my hand down embarrassingly, and asked timidly, "Can I go in?" Wu Julan stepped aside silently, and I walked into the room and sat on the chair in front of the computer desk. Wu Julan closed the door, leaned against the wall, folded her arms across her chest, and looked at me from afar, "What do you want to say? If it's an apology, you've said it many times, and I'm not interested in repeating it again' I'm not angry'." I worked up my courage and said, "You're not angry, but it's not like you don't care about what I say. Otherwise, you wouldn't search the Internet for the meaning of 'scumbag'." Wu Julan was stunned for a moment. No matter how smart he is, after all, he has just been exposed to computers, and he doesn't know that he can query the historical records.However, he was not interested in asking me how I knew it, and simply explained: "I'm an old antique, and I don't understand the meaning of 'scumbag', so I looked it up." "Do you still remember the "Animal World" we watched together? When the lion is full, the antelope is grazing not far away, and it is not even interested in taking a second look. And...how did the glass fly to In the yard?" Wu Julan looked at me silently, her expression was so calm that there was no wave, which made me feel that I was overthinking again. I looked at him and my heart beat faster and faster. Although the man in front of him had a cold temper and harsh words, he never shirked when faced with anything.Whether I was robbed or injured, or the inn was renovated, he could not care about it at all, but he didn't say a word. He worried about what should be worried about, and contributed to what should be done, so that I could heal my injuries easily and happily watch the inn run smoothly. Finished.I still think he is unreliable and insecure? I suddenly realized that I was very, very stupid! The material needs of life are nothing more than basic necessities of life, daily necessities, rice, oil and salt.These things, whether it's a house or a car, whether it's jewelry or clothes, can be bought with money anyway, even if you can't afford expensive ones, you can buy cheap ones.However, there can be no second Wu Julan in this world, and it is impossible for me to find a cheaper man to like.How could I regard those things that can be bought in shopping malls and factories as more important than Wu Julan? 爷爷供我读书，精心教养我，让我有一技之长能养活自己，还把一套房子留给我，难道不就是让我有能力、有依仗地去追寻自己喜欢的生活吗？ 难道我努力多年，现在所拥有的一切只是为了让我向所谓的现实妥协吗？ 如果只是一份安稳的生活，难道我自己没有能力给自己吗？ 我有房子可以住，有头脑可以赚钱，正因为我知道我能照顾好自己，所以我从没有指望过通过婚姻，让一个男人来改善我的生活。既然我都有勇气一辈子单身，为什么没有勇气去追逐自己喜欢的人呢？ 想到我竟然会为了那些工厂制造、随处都能买到的东西去放弃一个世界上独一无二的人，我顿时觉得身体发凉，一阵又一阵后怕。 如果说，刚才站在书房门口时，我还很茫然，不知道自己究竟想怎么样。我喜欢吴居蓝，却觉得看不到两个人的未来；周不闻愿意给我一个安稳可靠的未来，我又觉得没有办法违背自己的心意。 但此时此刻，恍若佛家的顿悟，刹那间，我心思通明，彻底看明白了自己的所想所要。 我站了起来，目光坚定地看着吴居蓝，“我喜欢你，你愿意做我的男朋友吗？”