Chapter 41 Section 7

Shao Yimin spent a completely sleepless night, and the next day was driven by inertia, waking up, going to class, going to the cafeteria, going to the library, step by step, no one noticed anything unusual about her.In the evening, she went to the study room as usual, holding a pen, lost in thought to a book spread out on the table, and wrote nothing in the notebook in front of her. Luo Yin suddenly ran in and whispered to her, "Oh, I'm exhausted, I'm looking for you from classroom to classroom. Come down quickly, your boyfriend is waiting for you downstairs." She gave Luo Yin a dull look, but did not respond.Surprised and anxious at the same time, Luo Yin stretched out his hand to pack the things in front of her and stuffed them all into her schoolbag, and said, "Why didn't you turn on your cell phone? He called to the dormitory, and I answered the call, so I had to take him Come to find you. Get down quickly."

"Thank you." She could only say mechanically. When the two came down, Su Zhe was standing downstairs. He reached out to take Shao Yimin's heavy schoolbag, and politely said to Luo Yin, "Thank you." Luo Yin blushed, "You're welcome, I'm leaving first." She turned and ran away. Shao Yimin didn't want to stay in this crowded place for a long time: "Go to the back." Without looking at him, he strode towards the Ink Lake behind the school. The two stood still by the lake, Shao Yimin took her schoolbag, took out the key tied with a red knot from it, and said while untying the knot, "It's just right, I wanted to go and let you go..."

As soon as Su Zhe grabbed her hand, he said sharply, "Try again!" She raised her eyes to look at him, her face was exhausted after overdraft, and her eyes were bloodshot.Su Zhe's heart ached immediately. He dragged her hand for a few steps, pushed her to sit on a stone bench, and squatted in front of her: "I didn't sleep last night, well, I look so bad. I've been talking on the phone like crazy from yesterday to today." I can't get through, I'm dying!" "Don't call in the future, I threw my phone into the lake last night." Su Zhe gritted his teeth and looked at her: "Don't you want to hear my explanation at all?"

"Honestly, I don't want to hear it." "Then you have to listen to me. That's right, I've known Annie Xiang for a while. When I was working here, I was in the same office building as the pharmaceutical company where she worked, and she happened to be in the same outdoor building as me later. Club. After we broke up last July, I... went to Daocheng Yading with her." Shao Yimin listened blankly. "I broke up with her before I met you in the underground garage. However, I didn't expect that she would resign and go to Shenzhen and apply for a job in our company."

She didn't expect him to speak in such detail: "So, she is braver than me, and she is more willing to give than me." "As for the reason for taking her to the United States, I have already told you. She..." Su Zhe hesitated, "I only had one night with her. In the United States, on the day I quarreled with my father, I drank too much." She smiled bleakly: "I understand, we also started after drinking." "Don't compare like that." "I can't stop making this kind of association." She wanted to withdraw her hand, but Su Zhe held it tightly and didn't let go.

"I made it clear to her at the time that it was a misunderstanding. I don't love her, and it's impossible to be with her. I didn't expect that she would answer my phone and talk nonsense with you. " "According to my understanding, what she said is basically the truth, and she didn't talk nonsense. I forgive you, Su Zhe, I have had sex after drinking myself. If possible, I would not choose to start with you like that, but Without that start, we probably wouldn't have had any chance." Su Zhe was irritated at once: "I said, don't make this kind of comparison. I treat you differently. What are you, once again showing that you can afford it and put it down enough?"

"You are wrong, I can't let it go, really, so I didn't apply to the school to stay, and I planned to go to Shenzhen to find you immediately after graduation. I just think, our relationship has always been initiated by you, and I paid too little. Well, until the last moment, at least I can’t let go, I’ll try harder.” She gritted her teeth to suppress the trembling of her voice, “But now it’s at this point, I can’t help it. Su Zhe, I have to if I don’t let go let go." She stood up, and Su Zhe also stood up, grabbed her hand, pulled her into his arms and hugged her, and looked down into her eyes.

"I told her, it was just that night. I admit that I did something wrong, but I have made it clear to her, there will be no more. Let's forget about it, okay?" She smiled wryly: "I'm sorry, I can't take it easy like you, forget it when I want to. When I'm with you, I'm really greedy. First I covet some happiness, and then I covet the warmth you give me. I want more and more. The more, the more self-willed this way, the farewell that should have been done a little bit later, thinking that I have you." "What do you mean 'even if you have it'? Is our relationship so unreal to you? You never have confidence in me, you just take one step at a time. Now seeing this step, you probably still say to yourself: 'Look , I expected it'. Right?"

She was a little distracted, and after thinking for a while, she said: "So, you know myself better than I do. Yes, I have no confidence, whether it is for you or for myself. It is said that any bad expectations will Something bad happened, so I don't blame you." "Shao Yimin, I hate you for talking to me in this tone. You need me to tell you how to understand. That time was just an accident, a mistake. I was under too much pressure and indulged myself too much. I apologize and promise that I will not do it again in the future. Such a thing happened. Does my promise mean nothing to you?"

She looked at him, his expression anxious and painful.She couldn't hold back any longer, she let go of her schoolbag, hugged him with both hands, and pressed her head to his chest. Listening to his rapid heartbeat, she knew that her heart was beating equally violently. This embrace made her greedy and couldn't bear to let go , but she could only force herself to leave. "There may be other mistakes and accidents in the future. Who knows? We are still not sure what we want. I think we should go to Canada first after graduation. That's it." After a moment of silence, Su Zhe's voice came from the top of her head in disbelief: "Shao Yimin, do you know what you are talking about? Is this what you mean when you say no promises to each other? It is convenient for you to stop if you want. Get out and leave."

"I don't regret being with you, and I'm grateful for the happiness you gave me. But as I said, if we were really together, I would be a harsh person. I can't accept your attitude and way of life. You changed it for me. It's also very hard. If we continue, I'm afraid that we will wear out the little affection we still have for each other." She let go of her hand, broke away from his embrace, stopped looking at him, and pulled the knot fiercely, but it was tied too tightly at that time, and she couldn't untie it in her eagerness. "Don't worry about it, I won't take back everything I gave you. If you don't want it, you might as well throw it away like a mobile phone." He said calmly. She stopped, looked at the two keys in her palm, bent down to pick up the schoolbag on the ground, turned around and strode away. Shao Yimin clutched the two keys tightly and walked aimlessly around the school. The edges and corners of the keys pierced deeply into the palm, and the initial pain turned into numbness. blood beads.But she still felt no pain. She didn't go back to the dormitory until it was almost time to turn off the lights, and ignored Luo Yin's gaze. She only thanked Luo Yin for not being Chen Yuanyuan, so she wouldn't ask the truth or talk about it in the dormitory. Right now, she wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. After washing and going to bed, she lay still, making no futile effort to sleep. The night was getting late, and like last night, she noticed again that Li Sibi, who looked so delicate, would snort and grind her teeth slightly, while Chen Yuanyuan and Jiang Xiaolin, who had completely different personalities, liked to suddenly talk vaguely in their dreams.But no matter what, they all fell asleep peacefully.Only her, in such darkness, closing her eyes is full of memories she doesn't want to see, opening her eyes is just the top of her own mosquito net. Lying motionless like this, my whole body felt a little stiff and achy.She got out of bed gently and went up to the roof.It was late at night in May, and the wind was cool. Most of the moon was hanging in the sky, and there were not many stars in sight. All the time spent together flashed before her eyes one by one, and she could do nothing but let these memories overwhelm her.She thought, take advantage of this darkness, let herself feel sorry for herself enough, and then she can let go. But thinking about it this way, she could barely support herself standing up.She fell on the railing, tears pouring out silently.She stood until her eyes were dry, and the night dew fell, making her pajamas damp, before she went downstairs to go to bed again.