Chapter 5 Section 5

Shao Yimin entered the dormitory and checked the time, but it was only six o'clock, the dormitory was very quiet, and most of the roommates were enjoying the weekend sleep-in.She climbed up to her bunk lightly, pulled the quilt over her head, and then groaned in her heart. He actually did such a crazy thing with a man who had only met a few times and had never looked at him before last night.Only by covering her mouth tightly can she keep the wonder and questioning of herself back in her heart. In Wuhan, where there are many colleges and universities, Normal University has always been famous for its beautiful women and the popularity of love.Every weekend, there are an astonishing number of luxury cars parked outside the campus. Many of the girls in the dormitory with Shao Yimin have boyfriends and sexual experiences early on. After the lights are turned off, there will be very hot topics in the sleeping meeting.However, Shao Yimin has always been taciturn, kept a hopeless distance from others, and never participated in discussions. Even if she was asked, she had no opinion to contribute.

It's not that no one has ever pursued her. She is tall and thin, with a beautiful face and bright eyes. Although she is not outstanding in Normal University, she is still eye-catching in the mathematics department where there are many girls and boys.But she has avoided being intimate with people since she was a child. Whenever someone approached enthusiastically, she would involuntarily back away, polite and indifferent, and put a clear distance away.By the time she was in her junior year, no boy dared to open the water for her anymore. Sometimes she can't help but wonder, is it true that she is naturally indifferent and will never be able to get close to others, as her roommates privately discussed?

However, what happened last night overturned Shao Yimin's perception of herself. She may have drunk too much, but she was not so drunk that she lost her memory and couldn't remember the details.She was so proactively eager for a hug and a kiss; she had a naked encounter with a strange man... She could only suppress another exclamation. Annoyed, she thought, at least this night proved that she was normal in that respect.But she immediately asked herself, how can this experience be considered normal? ! She had never planned such a belated gift for her twentieth birthday.On her birthday the day before yesterday, she had only vaguely expected that at least one of her parents would call, but she was not too disappointed when she didn't receive a call at night.Is it for this reason that you throw yourself into a strange man's arms?She honestly admitted that this reason is really not valid.Going deeper, it seems that something that has been suppressed for a long time is suddenly awakened.But analyzing oneself in this way, of course, cannot achieve relief.

She removed the quilt, looked at the top of the mosquito net, and lay motionless. The girls in the dormitory got up one after another, each busy with their own affairs, and no one noticed that she did not return overnight.As usual, she got out of bed to wash, turned on the water, went to the cafeteria to have breakfast, and then went to the library to read. In the evening, instead of going to self-study, she went for a walk behind the school. There is a rather large natural lake behind the Normal University, which originally had a very earthy name called Heishui Lake.With the increasing scale of the school, the government used money to renovate the shore of the lake and officially named it Ink Lake, which seems to want to get a little bit of literary spirit.The other side of the lake has also become a treasure land developed by real estate developers who have just sprouted momentum. There is a community called Shuxiangmendi.

The shore of the lake near the Normal University has always been a treasured place for students from nearby schools to fall in love. Most of them are students who walk in pairs and make friends. It is said that the rental houses of the villagers in the urban-rural junction not far from the surrounding area are doing very well because of the existence of this lake.After nightfall, the swaying water of the lake reflects the shadows of the lights, the willow trees on the shore of the lake are shady, and the unique moonlight and clear wind in autumn, such a beautiful day, it would be a waste not to talk about love.People like Shao Yimin who hang out alone with their hands in their pockets can only be of a different kind.

She started boarding in middle school and has always adapted to group life, but the biggest inconvenience for her in group life is the lack of personal space, and it is almost impossible to find a place and time to be alone, from classrooms, dormitories, libraries, study rooms to playgrounds , there is no place that is not overcrowded, and you have to face naked people you don't know when you take a shower. From time to time, she would escape to places where there were relatively few people, and at this time she had no intention of facing any familiar faces.But he didn't go far, and he happened to see an acquaintance.

A few steps away, Zhao Qizhi, a well-known talent in the Chinese Department of Normal University, the president of the Literature Club, and a cadre of the student union, was having a lively conversation with a girl with long hair and soft eyes, and it was too late for Shao Yimin to change direction.Zhao Qizhi also saw her, with a look of astonishment, so she nodded as a greeting, and then walked past them. According to her roommate, Luo Yin, who studies in the Chinese Department, Zhao Qizhi has taken a liking to her ever since he met her by chance.She never thought of herself as a girl who could impress people at first glance, and she was only surprised when she heard it.

But Luo Yin obviously didn't make random guesses.One day at the beginning of this semester, Shao Yimin went to the self-study room to read books every day according to her old habit. She has always had the ability to turn a blind eye and listen without hearing, and never pay attention to the flirting couples around her.After reading an English article, he stretched his waist, and suddenly saw Zhao Qizhi sitting on the table beside him reading a book.Zhao Qizhi raised his head and smiled at her, and she had no choice but to smile back. After all, she just kept a distance from people, but she never deliberately indifferent to anyone.

After the self-study, Zhao Qizhi walked with her to the dormitory very naturally, and casually talked about the sour essay written by a new junior sister from the literature club. It was very funny, and she couldn't help laughing.He sent her downstairs to the dormitory to break up. From then on, Zhao Qizhi would occasionally mysteriously appear in the study room, sit next to her, read a book separately, and then chat and send her back to the dormitory.Shao Yimin didn't dislike this kind of approach without pressure. When they met suddenly at this time, Zhao Qizhi couldn't help but look embarrassed.But Shao Yimin walked past him and never thought of him again.After all, the two of them only had a little friendship when they were seated together in the study room, and she hadn't been inspired to imagine about it, let alone worry about him when she was preoccupied.

She thought of something else. When she was eight or nine years old, she occasionally heard a relative on her father's side call her mother "dissolute" in a contemptuous tone.Without anyone explaining, she also understood that it was a word with a strong derogatory meaning. She had no way to defend her mother, she could only let it sink to the bottom of her heart.At this time, she couldn't help but ask herself, since she was a child, she kept a distance from the opposite sex, did she subconsciously want to behave differently from her mother?However, is her behavior last night also considered "debauchery"?

Ordinary girls would suffer from this problem for a long time, but Shao Yimin didn't have the habit of struggling with it.From the age of ten, only her grandparents live with her, and the care of the elderly is more reflected in the care of her life. She has already learned to solve problems alone and comfort herself. She stood facing the lake, the slightly cool autumn wind was blowing, the lights on the other side were dotted, and there was a tranquility.She took a deep breath and thought: Well, she can't lie to herself that nothing happened, but it's useless to regret, since it was a mistake, she can't make it again in the future.