Chapter 23 Chapter 23 Who Was Loved By Who

After the meal, Gan Lu cleaned up the dishes and told Gambo to go to bed and rest: "Aunt Wang said she would be here in a while, and I bought the dishes for the evening and put them in the refrigerator. Let's go first." Gamble nodded: "Go, don't keep running to me, just come back when you have time." When the two went downstairs, Shang Xiuwen said, "It's still early, I'll accompany you to pack your things first." Gan Lu nodded, and the two got into the car separately, and went back to Feng Yi'an's house. Shang Xiuwen asked her, "Is there anything that needs to be moved back?"

Gan Lu looked around the room. After she moved in, Shang Xiuwen bought a lot of daily necessities one after another. It was really not an easy task to move out all of them and return the house to Feng Yi'an as it was. "Xiuwen, let's sit down and have a good talk, shall we?" This is the first time she asked for a conversation recently, Shang Xiuwen nodded of course, and the two of them sat down on the sofa in the living room. I spoke.Shang Xiuwen held one of her hands and said softly: "If you are still troubled by the husband and wife obligations mentioned that day, I have the patience to wait until you fully accept me physically and mentally."

Gan Lu's face blushed involuntarily, and she confirmed again from the bottom of her heart that this man understood her unspeakable thoughts.But the more this happened, the more melancholy she became: "Xiuwen, I have already agreed to move back. No matter how hypocritical I am, I probably won't be able to stay at odds with you forever. But in the short term, I'm afraid I won't be able to...have a child." His hand tightened slightly: "This is still not a problem, we still have a long time in the future." "Yes, it's been a long time." Gan Lu was silent for a moment, then smiled sadly, "I used to think that we could be together for the rest of our lives, and I couldn't stop being happy. But now, I'm really scared."

"Tell me what you're afraid of." "If I am satisfied with accepting a husband who will not cheat and is willing to be responsible, then we can live together reasonably and get along very peacefully, and no one will have to make demands on anyone beyond the ability of the other party. Some couples who are full of misunderstandings are happy. But I'm afraid I can't do that now." "It's normal for you to have demands on me. I don't think it's enough to be your husband if you only maintain physical fidelity." Gan Lu hesitated for a moment, as if she had made up her mind, and looked directly at him: "Xiuwen, you once loved a girl, and let her still remember your love after going through an accident. This love must be very deep. Now please Ask yourself frankly, can you still give me love? The same way you loved another person before."

"Lulu, I've said it more than once, it's different." Gan Lu smiled: "Yeah, I know, it can't be the same. When I knew you, you had experienced everything, calm and mature. Now I come to ask a 31-year-old man for that kind of love, It’s ridiculously unreasonable.” "Lulu, I always thought you were sensible and smart, but you would get into such a dead end. Do you still care about that past?" "I'm not eating old vinegar. No, what I care about is not the past. I have basic respect for other people's feelings, and I don't think that as a wife, I can settle my husband's old accounts endlessly." Gan Lu Said calmly, "But people are probably a little bit greedy. I don't want my man to consume all his enthusiasm in love with other women. All he gives me is tenderness and responsibility."

"Lulu—" "Please listen to me, okay? I have two colleagues who are both married. One of them serves his in-laws, takes care of the children, and does housework after work. He is always happy and has no regrets; the other spends time with his husband Arguing over who should cook, who should wash the dishes, and who should wipe the floor, there is a lot of complaints. You can’t say who is lazy, you can only say that the person who does it willingly is satisfied with her life and thinks her efforts are worthwhile.” Gan A slightly bitter smile appeared on the corner of Lu's mouth, "I used to be satisfied with my life, Xiuwen. But now I'm not sure, I'm afraid I will unconsciously make comparisons you think are boring in the future, and I will not be satisfied with you The tenderness and responsibility that were given to me are becoming more and more resentful, and I want more and more things that I obviously can't get. In this state, I will not be the virtuous wife you expected."

Shang Xiuwen suddenly squeezed her hand tightly: "Why do you think that I didn't treat you like I treated He Jingyi before, but that I no longer have the passion to love you. I have passed the age of shameful innocence, and I really can't do it like I did. Such a ostentatious performance in a relationship, and Lulu, I'm sure you wouldn't like me at that time, let alone accept that kind of pursuit." "Maybe you're right." Gan Lu lost her mind slightly, and smiled self-deprecatingly, "I've always lived a very conservative and cautious life. I would envy and appreciate others who are young and frivolous, but it's unlikely that I would get involved and go crazy. I think I am Doomed not to enjoy that feeling of being in love."

"Don't compare my feelings for you with a past, let alone deny my feelings for you. If you think I'm not enthusiastic enough, I will improve..." "No, this is where I am most confused. Xiuwen, I believe that as long as you are willing, you have a strong convincing ability. Even a suspicious person like my father has trusted you from the beginning. We have been married for more than two years, and your performance has moved me more and more, I have to admit that you have met all my expectations for marriage. But..." She stopped suddenly, bit her lips, and paused for a while before continuing, "Thinking back on my love with you now, I find that almost every step we get close to is out of your control and choice. Thinking of how you used to weigh me, observe me, and evaluate whether I would be a suitable wife, you decided to If you want to be nicer to me and be more frank, I can't help...I feel disheartened."

"You're wrong, Lulu, if you think this way, you still think of me as a perverted control freak. I have never been arrogant enough to think that I can control you. On the contrary, from the beginning when I was with you until now, I I keep worrying about gains and losses: If I continue to be reserved, will I lose you; will the things I hide from you be accepted by you; if you doubt my sincerity and no longer trust me, will I still have a chance to redeem it? ?” Gan Lu smiled helplessly, looking for words, but could only shake her head: "I have never doubted your seriousness and sincerity in marriage, you have always been serious about being a good husband. You said I was just trying to figure it out, and it seems that you were right I am not a suspicious person. What I suspect is that your last relationship has left too much influence on you, which directly affects the way you deal with your feelings—maybe you are not sure yourself. I have never been loved by you."

There was a moment of silence in the room, and Shang Xiuwen smiled slowly: "I said, I will accept all your doubts, but what I didn't expect is that your doubts have included everything I have done. I can only Let me tell you, I never planned to sacrifice my entire life to a past, especially the life with you, which is the happiest and most cherished part of me. Lulu, at least don’t doubt this.” Gan Lu thought that they had indeed fallen into a vicious circle. If they continued talking, they would not be relieved, but it would only increase the pain: "I can only try not to be a suspicious wife. If you want to save it, I don't want to give up lightly." .Let's try."

She stood up and was about to pack her things, but Shang Xiuwen didn't let go of her hand. She looked back at him, only to see that he raised his head slightly and stared into her eyes: "Lulu, what I want to redeem is not a name." A successful marriage in the world, I value you." Gan Lu lowered her eyelids, avoiding his gaze: "I hope we can all be sure of what we really value and cherish. It's getting late, you go to the meeting, and I'll drive back after finishing things." After Shang Xiuwen left, Gan Lu went to the study to install the laptop first, then found a cardboard box to put the books in, then went to the bedroom, sat on the floor, folded all the clothes, and put them into the box. It's not a taste, and I can't help laughing at myself-the end of running away from home is as ridiculous as the beginning. She took nothing but clothes, books and a laptop, and drove back to her home.She opened the door with the key and went in. Wu Lijun, who was sitting on the sofa reading the newspaper, was obviously taken aback, and took off her reading glasses to look at her. "Mom, I'm back." She greeted her as before when she came back from get off work, and Wu Lijun immediately regained her composure, nodded, looked back at the newspaper, and said flatly, "Oh, I'm back." Gan Lu thought, having a mother-in-law who is not surprised by anything can save a lot of embarrassing explanations.She handed over the gift she bought the day before: "Mom, I wish you a happy birthday, please see if it fits you." In the past, when she bought gifts for Wu Lijun, Wu Lijun would just glance at them, say thank you lightly, and then put them aside, but now she took them, opened them immediately, and took a closer look in her hands: "I like this color." Gan Lu couldn't get used to it: "It's fine if you like it. Mom, Xiuwen is going to Yuanwang for a meeting now, and I won't be back until later." Wu Lijun nodded: "I'm going to lie down for a while, you should go up and rest too, and we'll have dinner together at night." Gan Lu agreed to come down and went upstairs with her things. The room in front of her was kept tidy. It was obvious that Sister Hu was cleaning as usual.She put the clothes in the closet, didn't feel sleepy, went to the study and turned on the computer, and continued to search for information and write a thesis.Back in the familiar environment, she didn't have any emotional ups and downs, as if everything that happened during this period had become a thing of the past. Is it really over? Tired of writing, she mixed a cup of milk tea for herself, held it in her hand, and walked onto the terrace to look into the distance to relieve eye fatigue.The weather is not sunny, but the breath of spring is everywhere. Within her line of sight is the park where Wu Lijun often goes for a walk. The dense trees inside are dyed with a layer of fresh green like smoke, and the blowing wind is no longer It is cold and chilly, but with a few hints of inadvertent softness. The city got rid of the long and severe winter that was said to happen once in decades, but she didn't think she had got rid of the crisis of her marriage. The mobile phone in the study rang, and she walked back to the room to answer it. It was Shang Xiuwen who called back: "Lulu, I'm afraid I have to go with Mr. Wang to meet Chen Hua, the chairman of Yixin, and I can't accompany my mother and have you eaten." "Mom's birthday, can't you really leave?" "How about this? You drive your mother to the Pearl Hotel. Mr. Chen is staying here. We made an appointment to meet and have dinner on the third floor. You and your mother go to the restaurant on the top floor. It is said that the Italian food there is very authentic. I will go up there some time. Mom can understand." Gan Lu changed her clothes, went downstairs to knock on Wu Lijun's door, and saw that Wu Lijun had changed into the cashmere cardigan she bought, paired it with a black skirt, half-high heels, a classic trench coat, and a slightly more colorful one. She wore a shawl, her face was thinly powdered, and she put on light makeup. Her demeanor was so elegant and outstanding that she had to admire it secretly. She told Wu Lijun the situation: "Mom, Xiuwen asked me to accompany you there first." Wu Lijun nodded, took her bag and went out with her. Pearl Hotel is a five-star hotel by the river. The restaurant on the top floor has an Italian-style name: Tuscany Sun Restaurant, and the executive chef is invited from Europe.Gan Lu and Wu Lijun sat down and ordered food separately. Wu Lijun ordered the waiter to open a bottle of Lambrusco1915: "This is sparkling wine, with a sweet taste, and basically won't make people drunk. People who are really good wine don't drink it. We Think about it." Gan Lu nodded, not intending to spoil her mother-in-law's interest. The waiter brought up the wine in the ice bucket and opened it, and poured it into a goblet. The deep pink wine looked very attractive and smelled With a strong fruity aroma, she picked up the wine glass and said to Wu Lijun: "Mom, happy birthday." Wu Lijun raised his glass, touched her lightly, and took a big sip, but she only tasted a little bit. This was the second kind of wine she had ever drank. Naturally, it was not the same as the high-grade and cheap liquor her father drank. In other words, the little wine has a sweet fragrance, and the taste is long and long, but she doesn't intend to indulge herself to drink more. Appetizers and spaghetti came up, and the two of them ate quietly as usual at home, only hearing the occasional sound of knives and forks touching each other. Although Shang Xiuwen was not present, one of them was surnamed Wu and the other was Gan, but this seemed to be a typical Shang family gathering, and it was not as cold as usual.Although Wu Lijun didn't ask questions, she wouldn't say much either.There was no talk, no explanation, no apology, and no understanding that all grievances and grievances would be wiped out with a smile. They just calmly accepted the reality of sitting at the same table here and now. It was as if everything that had happened had become a thing of the past—this thought resurfaced in Gan Lu's mind by accident.You're a little tangled—she can only say this to herself, of course it's over, it's over. When the main course was served, Shang Xiuwen came over with two other men in suits. One of them she had seen before was Wang Feng, the chairman of Yuan Wang, and the other was in his thirties, tall, with a thin and thin face. A sharp and restrained face. Wang Feng and Wu Lijun knew each other before, and he said with a smile: "Director Wu, it wasn't that Xiuwen said that he would come up to accompany you for dinner. I didn't know that today is your birthday. I'm really sorry for disturbing your family gathering." "It's nothing, Mr. Wang, it's important for you to talk about business. Women at my age actually don't pay much attention to birthdays." Wu Lijun said politely, and then turned to another person, "This is..." Shang Xiuwen introduced: "This is Mr. Chen, the chairman of Yixin. Mr. Chen, this is my mother, and this is my wife. Mom, Mr. Wang and Mr. Chen insist on coming up to congratulate you on your birthday in person." "Don't dare to be, you two are too polite." "It should be. It's Director Wu's birthday. I'm sorry that we came here empty-handed. We can only express our gratitude with a glass of wine." Chen Hua's voice was low and thick, and he spoke Mandarin with a slight northern accent, very polite. Wu Lijun ordered the waiter to bring three more wine glasses to pour the wine, and stood up, "Thank you, Mr. Chen and Mr. Wang, for your hospitality, and for coming here specially." Gan Lu also got up, and lightly clinked glasses with them. Wang Feng and Chen Hua drank it down, put down their glasses and said goodbye, and Shang Xiuwen sat down: "Mom, I'm sorry, I didn't have a good meal with you today." "Having Lulu with me is the same." Shang Xiuwen and Gan Lu realized at the same time that Wu Lijun had always been called "Xiao Gan" in the past, and the change in this inconspicuous address made them look at each other unavoidably. Wu Lijun didn't seem to notice their reaction at all: "Will Yixin give up the plan to acquire Xusheng?" "It's just an exchange right now. Yixin has a huge development plan in the central region. Chen Hua has a very sharp mind. I believe he should also know that the more it is delayed, the higher his acquisition cost will be." Wu Lijun nodded and said nothing more.Shang Xiuwen said to Gan Lu: "Lulu, I have to go down, you help me send my mother back, and drink less." "I know." The wine in front of Gan Lu didn't touch anything at all. She had made up her mind long ago that she would not drink again unless necessary, let alone having dinner with her mother-in-law. After Shang Xiuwen left, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law finished their desserts, Gan Lu went to pay the bill, and went downstairs to the underground parking lot together. Gan Lu opened the car door, and Wu Lijun sat in first.She was also about to get in the car when the phone rang and it was called by Qian Jiaxi. Her voice was hoarse and she seemed very depressed. She could only say, "Wait a minute." Then she turned and said to the mother-in-law sitting in the back seat, " Mom, I'll take a call from my friend, please sit down for a while." Wu Lijun nodded. She drank a lot of this kind of sparkling wine, her face was slightly flushed, and she rested on the back of the chair. Gan Lu walked away a few steps: "Jiaxi, what's wrong?" Qian Jiaxi was silent for a long time before speaking again: "Lulu, Qin Zhan said...he plans to reconcile with Xiaopan." Gan Lu was taken aback, she really couldn't understand such a quick and childlike separation and reunion, she simply didn't know what to say: "Jia Xi, forget it, Qin Zhan is too immature." "He has the right to make a choice. Do you know what I hate? I thought we got along so well. I don't think it was my wishful thinking, but he said it lightly, without any nostalgia." Gan Lu heard Qian Jiaxi's noisy voice: "Where are you now? Why don't I take my mother-in-law home first, so I can go and accompany you." "I'm in the bar, it's okay, Lulu, a bunch of friends are together, don't come here, I just felt uncomfortable for a while, I can't help it anymore, I have to speak out." At this moment, someone over there Calling her name, she agreed, and then giggled, "I can only tell you, I'm not afraid of making jokes. I'm going to drink, we'll talk tomorrow, if I haven't forgotten about it tomorrow." "Don't drink too much." Gan Lu could only rush to tell her. She put away her mobile phone and just turned to walk to her car, but when she saw the bright headlights coming, she squinted her eyes involuntarily. The Maserati came to a sudden stop and stopped in front of her car. The door opened, and He Jingyi, who was wearing an off-white leather jacket and jeans, stepped out. "Good evening, Mrs. Shang." She glanced at Gan Lu with a faint smile on her face. Gan Lu lazily replied, "Hello." "Why are you here alone, didn't Xiuwen come back to spend the weekend with you?" Without waiting for Gan Lu to answer, He Jingyi seemed to shake her head regretfully, "It is said that Wanfeng Real Estate has just ordered Xusheng's products, the order is not big, and Qin I was always afraid of offending Yixin, and tried my best to keep a low profile, so it was impossible to achieve any great effect. However, I guess it was you who came forward to make it happen. In order to restore Xiuwen, you really tried your best." Just as Gan Lu was about to speak, the car door opened behind her, and Wu Lijun stood up: "Lulu, help me see if the shawl is stuck on the necklace." When He Jingyi saw Wu Lijun suddenly, she was taken aback and murmured, as if she was about to speak, but Wu Lijun didn't look at her at all, and only half turned around, motioning for Gan Lu to look at her. All right." Wu Lijun nodded, went straight back to the car and sat down, and closed the door behind her.He Jingyi had never been ignored like this before, but she really couldn't hold up her posture in front of Wu Lijun. Her expression was changing, as if she was thinking about something. Gan Lu said politely: "Miss He, please move the car, we are going home." Without waiting for the other party's answer, she sat in the driver's seat, met He Jingyi's gaze, put on her seat belt first, and then quietly looked at her.He Jingyi backed away slowly, keeping her eyes on the car until she opened the car door with her backhand, sat in the car, and suddenly started the car to make way for the passage. Gan Lu drove the car out of the underground garage and onto the boulevard. Wu Lijun's voice sounded from behind: "Lulu, she is an executive of Yixin, and her boss is here. She must be looking for her boss. It has nothing to do with Xiuwen." Gan Lu was stunned for a moment: "I know, Mom." "I hope you don't pay attention to her. She has never given up until she achieves her goal. Now it is clear that she wants to destroy your marriage." Gan Lu gave an awkward "hmm". Before, Wu Lijun wouldn't talk to her like this, but now her mother-in-law seems to have subtly classified her daughter-in-law as a member of her own family, and she no longer shy away from it. After Wu Lijun drank a little wine, she didn't behave like she usually did. She said to herself, with undisguised disgust in her voice: "Back then, she did everything she could to pester Xiuwen, and Xiuwen proposed to break up with her. , She even used tricks like pretending to commit suicide. If Xiuwen hadn't been soft-hearted, it wouldn't have caused future regret." Gan Lu was both surprised and uncomfortable, feeling that she couldn't bear this sudden trust.She doesn't want to hear the past being stripped away like this. Those things are all parts that she didn't participate in. She is not curious, but has a faint fear. She just feels that the more facts are exposed, the less it can lead her out of the maze. On the contrary, it made her feel more confused. "Mom, you can rest for a while, I will call you when I get home." "In short, you don't have to pay attention to what she says in the future." Wu Lijun finally said nothing more, and the two of them remained silent all the way.After returning home, Gan Lu asked her mother-in-law to rest early, and was about to go upstairs when Wu Lijun stopped her. "Come to my room, Lulu." Gan Lu had to follow her into her room.The layout here is similar to that of the upstairs, and it is also a suite where the study room is connected to the bedroom.Wu Lijun signaled her to sit down, opened the drawer, took out a photo album, opened a page and handed it to her.Gan Lu held her breath. The picture showed a family of three: Shang Xiuwen, who was only about 20 years old in the front, still had a "green" aura; Wu Lijun, who was much younger than now, was sitting on the right hand behind, with a beautiful and charming face. The man on the left looks to be in his forties, with a tall and straight figure, wearing a blue T-shirt and rimless glasses, with a refined and calm demeanor.The three of them sat under a parasol, all smiling, and seemed to be talking, not paying attention to the camera lens. "This is Xiuwen's father." Wu Lijun said softly, pointing her finger, and then slowly stroking that face. Gan Lu didn't know what to say, she just looked closely at Shang Xiuwen, that cheerful smile didn't have the infinite connotation when she occasionally showed her face now, but it seemed to have the breath of sunshine. "Xiuwen may have told you about his father. He has been blaming himself and refused to forgive himself for returning home that night. But in fact, the person who should be blamed is me. At that time, I was only thinking about my political future. Indifference, even when he came back from the investigation to talk to me, I said that I had no time and had to write materials. When it was irreversible, it would be too late to regret.” Wu Lijun’s voice was hoarse, full of grief, took the photo album, and held it for a long time. watch. "Mom, Dad definitely wants you and Xiuwen to live a good life. Don't think about the past." "How could he not want to? Xiuwen, like me, probably never let go of this matter. I used to always hope that he would be more mature and calm, but later I saw that he was even more restrained than his father, and he took everything in his heart. I'm scared...Xiuwen is becoming more and more like his father." Gan Lu felt the same way, and she marveled in her heart that Shang Xiuwen had a similar appearance to his mother, but carried the temperament characteristics of his father. When he was young, he was high-spirited and not obvious, but now he is very prominent. Wu Lijun suddenly looked up at Gan Lu: "Lulu, Xiuwen loves you. After marrying you, he has changed a lot. I am very relieved to see it. It's just that he, like his father, would rather bear the pressure alone. You must try Please understand him more, tolerate him, and maintain your marriage well." "Mom, I understand, I will try to understand Xiuwen." Gan Lu was unwilling to go against the rare frankness of a mother who had always been taciturn and proud, but she sighed in her heart that after all, marriage depended on the efforts of both parties. If he still chose to bear everything alone, how could she clearly feel his sincerity. Especially with such an ex-girlfriend watching over her.It's really not easy for her to ignore her like Wu Lijun said. It was Wu Lijun who occupied He Jingyi's mind at this time. She was sitting with her hands on the steering wheel, and the silver-gray Bora had disappeared from her sight. Except for the occasional vehicles coming in and out, the lights in the underground garage were dim and eerily quiet. She didn't expect to meet Wu Lijun here, and the part of her memories that had been deliberately sealed up by her suddenly flooded up uncontrollably. Wu Lijun met her more than once before, and from the first time, it was definitely not pleasant. Wu Lijun didn't look at her at all, her eyes were cold, and she said in a flat voice: "I don't think Xiuwen is suitable for you. However, it is impossible not to make mistakes when you are young. I will not interfere with you. I know my son. He will realize it sooner or later. at this point." "Auntie, I know my family's conditions are not good, but..." Wu Lijun frowned: "This has nothing to do with family conditions. I was only born in a poor teacher's family. I will try my best to speak in terms you can understand. It's up to you whether you understand it or not. Not the same, you are not the same people, sooner or later you will be separated." At that time, she was only in her early twenties. She had outstanding looks since she was a child, and her personality has always been stubborn and arrogant. She was irritated by this assertion, but she was also intimidated by Wu Lijun's aura, and she could not refute it at all.She only secretly made up her mind that she must stay with Shang Xiuwen for a longer period of time, "I'm mad at you" - of course, she only dared to grit her teeth and say it to herself fiercely. But she has hidden worries in her heart. She and Shang Xiuwen are still too young, no matter how passionately they are in love, it is far away from everlasting.Moreover, she had to admit that part of what Wu Lijun said was something she couldn't refute. Her noisy and poor family was too different from the Shang family.Although his father and brother started doing business under Shang Xiuwen's arrangement, and the family began to be well-off, they still couldn't have the same quiet cultivation as the Shang family. The family flattered Shang Xiuwen to such an extent that she couldn't stand it anymore. Under this atmosphere, she gradually became worried about her gains and losses, and gradually she was unable to maintain the calm and proud posture of a beautiful girl when she first met Shang Xiuwen. When her father and brother used Wu Lijun's signboard to cause trouble outside for the first time, Wu Lijun called her and Shang Xiuwen over at the same time, but didn't look at her at all. I understand, the little indifference towards her before was really polite. "You should break up with her," Wu Lijun said without any room for negotiation, "give her family a sum of money to compensate, or there will be a catastrophe one day." Shang Xiuwen looked at the back of his mother who was leaving in a huff, and remained silent for a long time. He Jingyi's heart rose to her throat, her mouth was dry, and when Shang Xiuwen turned to look at her, she burst into tears. Shang Xiuwen froze for a while, She put her arms around her, and she felt relieved: "Xiuwen, I'll go back and tell my father and brother to make sure they don't do this kind of thing again, and I'll ask them to come and apologize to your mother." "My mother won't accept an apology. This kind of thing really can't happen again, otherwise..." Shang Xiuwen stopped, but she could understand what this "otherwise" meant. After she went home and quarreled fiercely with her family and said hurtful words to each other, her father and brother restrained themselves for a while, and then reverted to their old ways.Disputes broke out between her and Shang Xiuwen. From the initial acting like a baby to her crying and redeeming, their differences became bigger and bigger.Shang Xiuwen even went to have a long talk with her father and elder brother in person, but what he received was completely opposite. His father and his brother said worryingly in front of her at home: "He has already talked about this. It seems that the two of you can't make it together. We have to hurry up, otherwise don't talk about making money in the future. The company can do it." It will be a problem if we can’t continue to drive.” She was so cold that she didn't know what to say, she waved her hand fiercely, and swept all the dishes on the table to the floor, then hugged her mother and cried, her mother comforted her and said, "It would be great if you could marry him. Alas, I don’t know if you have that life. Anyway, you still have to hold on to him.” Is this a relief, she thought? This is her first love, what she paid was love, what Shang Xiuwen's good conditions moved was her family, and what moved her was him, she wanted to hold on to him, just for herself, she knew she couldn't find anyone else Let her love her like this, or love her like this. After Shang Xiuwen's father knew that her brother was discussing cooperation with others under the banner of his company, he immediately cut off all economic exchanges and cooperation between the two parties. Offered a breakup. He looked exhausted: "Jingyi, I'm tired. I don't want our relationship to become a reason for your family to give and take anything. If I only need to give, I can tolerate it, but this has already endangered my family. I can't continue. down." Crying and threatening her have been used many times, this time she used a more drastic move.She took sleeping pills, and then sent a text message to Shang Xiuwen who refused to answer her phone.She didn't simply make a gesture, but took a fatal dose.She was indeed desperate, if Shang Xiuwen left her alone, she was ready to die. She woke up in the hospital, opened her eyes, and the first thing she saw was Wu Lijun. This was the only time Wu Lijun looked at her directly. Her eyes were so sharp that she seemed to have seen through her, making her feel that she had nowhere to hide. "This method is too despicable." Wu Lijun's voice was not loud, but very clear. Shang Xiuwen, who was standing on the other side, called out, "Mom—" Wu Lijun looked at her son coldly: "For such a girl, I'm going to blush for you." She left this sentence, turned and left. Shang Xiuwen stayed as she wished, he was very considerate to her, but this kind of consideration was not as close as before.She clings to him more and more, but is more and more afraid that he will break up again.An untimely remark from her mother slipped up and disturbed her, and she surreptitiously stopped the pill. However, while she was pregnant, her father and brother were involved in a complicated case and were imprisoned at the same time. She found Shang Xiuwen in anxiety, and Shang Xiuwen looked even more devastated, and couldn't even hear her finish, so she hurried to the airport to go out to deal with business disputes, and just told her to go home and stay well, don't run around , I will contact you when I have time. But she couldn't wait at home safely.Her mother cried all day long, sometimes thinking wildly, and sometimes urging her to go to Shang Xiuwen's parents for help: "One is your father and the other is your brother. No matter how much you hate them, you can't just watch them go to jail." She really couldn't just sit back and watch her father and brother ignore him, so she gritted her teeth and went to Shang Xiuwen's house, but the nanny refused her, so she had to take out her only card: "Go and tell Uncle Shang that I have Xiuwen's child. If you don't let me in, I will stand here and not leave." Surprised, the nanny hurried in and out, and finally took her in.To her surprise, Shang Xiuwen's father was not there, and Wu Lijun and her brother-in-law Wu Changzhi and his wife were sitting inside. Wu Lijun looked bored and didn't even bother to talk to her.Wu Changzhi asked her: "Does Xiuwen know that you are pregnant? I don't believe he is so foolish that he still has a child now, unless he wants to piss off his parents." She murmured: "He doesn't know, I... haven't told him yet." Wu Changzhi looked at her thoughtfully. He had sharp eyes that resembled his sister's. He Jingyi suddenly felt that just like that time in the hospital, her scheming was understood by the other party. This silent judgment made her blush for a while. For a while, he could only lower his eyes in embarrassment.Wu Changzhi said clearly: "Miss He, if you are really pregnant, you must abort the child." It was as if she had been hit in the head: "Unless Shang Xiuwen tells me this." "Xiuwen's mother was implicated in your father's and brother's case, and is currently under investigation by the organization; his father was double-regulated for half a month, and he was just released home the day before yesterday, and he may still be sued; Xiuwen is running around trying to reduce the company's losses. In this case, do you think it is possible for you to be together?" She thought desperately, this disaster was far greater than she imagined, how could she ask the Shang family to help her father and brother, but she couldn't help but say: "I came today to beg you, save my father and brother." "Don't make unrealistic demands, Miss He, that's impossible." "After all, I'm pregnant with Xiuwen's child, for the sake of the child..." Wu Lijun was obviously furious, stood up suddenly, and said coldly: "You don't have any basic sense of shame, Ms. He, don't expect me to admit you with the child in your stomach. Tell Shang Let me tell Xiuwen, the disaster was caused by him, and he should bear the responsibility. He is an adult, and it is impossible for his parents to clean up this mess for him. I just pretend that I didn't have this son. " Wu Lijun's tough attitude made He Jingyi no luck.After having caused an unreasonable disaster to Shang's family, she didn't have the courage to tell Shang Xiuwen about the accident she deliberately gave him. She returned home in a daze, keeping silent to her mother's urgent questioning. One day later, Wu Changzhi came to the door and told her directly: "Miss He, you go and get rid of this child, and I will leave a sum of money for you." "I don't want money, I want..." "There is no condition to talk about, Ms. He, it's ridiculous to talk about such things at my age, but Xiuwen is my only nephew, and I can't just watch his life be ruined by you." Her mother had obviously been eavesdropping outside, at this moment she opened the door and came in and said, "Xiao Jing, your father and brother's lawsuit needs money." He Jingyi has no choice.Accompanied by Wu Changzhi's wife who came here specially, she went to the hospital. The fetus was aborted in less than two months. She was surprised by the quickness and simplicity, and she didn't even feel pain. But when she was sitting outside the operating room and saw Wu Changzhi's wife calling Wu Lijun to report the news with a very indifferent tone, she was still angry from the bottom of her heart, took out her mobile phone, called Shang Xiuwen, and said fiercely: "You are satisfied."吧，我刚把你的孩子做掉了，是你妈妈、你舅舅一块儿逼的我。” 尚修文当时刚从外地回来，他大吃一惊，马上赶到了医院，她的无名愤怒消散了，只剩委屈，伏到他身上号啕大哭。吴昌智的妻子厌恶地说：“硬是多要了二十万才肯松口，还来装贞洁烈女，说别人逼你，未免太可笑了。” “这件事应该由我来处理，你们怎么能……” “修文，你不要以为我和你舅舅愿意来造这种孽。你妈和你爸已经为这大吵了一架。现在是什么时候你不明白吗？你妈妈的政治前途岌岌可危，你爸爸……” “算了，舅妈，对不起，我都知道了，您先回去吧。” 尚修文送她回家，让她躺在床上休息，他坐在床边呆呆出神，她偷偷看着他瘦削疲惫、没有任何表情的面孔，心里转着无数的念头。 “静宜，我得回去了，我爸爸刚解除双规，我今天出差回来，还没来得及去看他。” 她却死死抓住他不放，不停流泪。她其实明白，他们不大可能挽回了，可是她任性地想，能多留一会儿，就多留一会儿吧。 然而她的这一次任性再次铸成了大错，尚修文的父亲在当天晚上心脏病发作，尚修文赶回家时，他父亲已经去世了。 那起经济案件的影响越来越大，牵涉的人越来越多，内幕众说纷纭。贺静宜的父亲好不容易因病办理了取保候审，便出了离奇的车祸，重伤陷入植物人状态，再没苏醒过来。她和母亲日夜守候在医院中，眼看着钱如同流水般花出去，这样心力交瘁之下，她实在忍不住，再次打了尚修文的电话，哭诉着家里的惨况，然而尚修文明确拒绝与她见面。 第二天，从国外赶回来奔丧的尚少昆找到医院，递了一个大信封给她：“修文只能为你做到这一步了，请你也多少为他着想一下，再不要去找他。” 尚少昆在父母去世前与她家是邻居，一直当她是妹妹，她与尚修文结识，也是尚少昆介绍的。然而他站在她面前，面无表情，目光从病床上她的父亲和紧盯着装钱信封的她母亲身上一扫而过，带着冷冷的憎恨。 “少昆哥，修文他现在怎么样了？”她只能问他。 “他正在结束公司的经营，损失惨重。”尚少昆简短地说，“我后悔介绍你们认识，我婶婶这人很冷酷，可她对你和你家的看法一点儿也没错。” 捏着那个厚厚的信封，看着尚少昆扬长而去，她腿一软，坐倒在病床边。 几个月后，她父亲在医院去世，她哥哥被判刑，她不顾母亲的哀求，将钱留给她让她安排好生活，没等毕业就独自去了外地。 贺静宜将头重重伏到方向盘上。 她从来在心中反复回忆的都是与尚修文相处的快乐时光，他与她的初次相遇，他带她开车兜风，他第一次吻她，他带她去香港购物，教她吃西餐，陪她去国外度假……她的青春因为有他而丰富，她的回忆也因为这个恋爱而永远带着玫瑰色彩。 她一直将记忆固定在了这里，拒绝去触及随后的巨变。 然而今天，吴丽君突然现身，打破了她所有的自欺。那些惨痛的往事一一从她脑海中掠过，她的眼泪悄然流淌下来，滴落在红色皮质方向盘套上。 不知道坐了多久，贺静宜才放下遮阳板，就着化妆镜打量自己。窄窄的镜内映着一双红肿而微带血丝的眼睛，再无从前的澄澈动人。 她久久地看着，眼前却似乎浮现了另一双眼睛，秋水般清亮平静，隔了车子的前挡风玻璃看着她，没有一丝闪避和急迫—要怎么样闲适从容的心态，才能让一个女人拥有这样的眼神。 她一直以为，她才应该是更有自信、更笃定的那个人，现在，她不得不深深怀疑这一点。 看一看手表，她吃了一惊。她是应老板陈华的召唤而来，此时不仅迟到，还带着这样一副仪容，她只得拿出化妆包尽力补救，收拾得勉强能见人了，才锁上车子上了电梯。 到了陈华住的行政楼层，她迎面碰上了尚修文和王丰从陈华房内走出来，她惊异地打量两个人，急速在心底思量着他们和陈华并没事先知会自己的会面意味着什么。 尚修文淡淡对她点头，已经和她擦肩而过了，她叫住他：“修文，请等一下，我有话跟你说。” 王丰拍拍尚修文的肩：“我先走了。” 尚修文站定：“请讲。” 他们从去年初次重逢，尚修文就对她保持着客气的姿态，没有再次相遇的喜悦，却也没有让她畏惧的憎恨，她多少勾动了一点妄念，暗自思忖，也许他对她有着不一样的记忆。然而现在他们站得一步之遥，灯光柔和地照下来，她可以清楚地看到，他的神态中只有公事公办的冷淡，她心底凉透，却笑了：“不见得在走廊上说话吧，去那边的行政酒廊。” 贺静宜叫了一杯威士忌加冰，尚修文却只对服务生摇摇头。 “你来是想游说陈总放弃对旭昇的收购计划吗？” “我们只是进行沟通。” “这个项目由我负责，其实你跟我沟通更有效果。” 尚修文微微一哂：“你把个人情绪带进了工作之中，我认为我们根本没必要再沟通。” 贺静宜一下咬紧了牙：“你有什么理由这样质疑我？” “我研究了亿鑫近几年的投资方向，的确很广泛，但主要还是集中在商业地产与相关产业，会将触角伸到J市的矿产、冶炼和钢铁制造，应该是一个全新的尝试，你大概不能否认这个投资计划是你提出来的吧。” 贺静宜冷冷地说：“集团所有投资计划都要经过严格审核，不可能是个人行为。” “这是很有潜力的行业，值得投资，但是会选择旭昇这样一个股权高度集中、并不容易收购的企业下手，我认为多少带了你个人的趣味和恩怨在里面。” 贺静宜手扶桌子，几乎站起来，她声音沙哑地说：“你跟陈总说了这个看法了吗？你怎么能这样？” “我不会随便在老板面前评价他的员工，”尚修文看了看手表，眉间闪过一点不耐烦，“这件事也根本不用我去说，陈总自会做出判断。” 她突然失神，目光落到他的手表上，他腕上戴的是一只价位约两千来块的普通钢带表，她不得不暗暗感叹，这个男人的一点一滴都已经变得完全陌生了，每次心底闪过类似的念头，她都一阵惶惑烦乱，只能强自镇定下来。 “你分析起我来很客观，那么请你自问一下，你拒绝亿鑫的收购计划，不是也带了个人情绪在里面吗？你对旭昇根本没什么兴趣，不然也不会这么多年隐身幕后，由得你舅舅经营。你现在不能接受的只是由我代表亿鑫来兼并你家的企业。其实我根本没有和你个人作对的意思，我们坐下来好好谈谈，倒能成就双赢的局面，不必弄得两败俱伤。” “贺小姐，难道我的态度不够明确吗？我舅舅不可能与亿鑫合作，我不可能跟你合作。” 尚修文声音平和，可是贺静宜听出了决绝的意味，她强压住心乱，冷冷地说：“不管怎么说，旭昇被收购只是时间问题。你不要以为，万丰开始订购旭昇的产品就意味着旭昇已经摆脱了麻烦，秦总当着我的面说，那是底下采购经理不知情签订的合同，数量有限，根本无碍大局。” “你去盘诘秦总，这件事做得很不聪明，他已经很给陈总面子了。不过我们没必要讨论这件事，贺小姐。” 他正要起身，贺静宜猛然按住了他的手：“是不是你太太告诉你，我跟陈华有见不得人的关系？我就知道，她妈妈嫁了秦万丰，肯定会去打听我的过去。其实我……” 尚修文抽出了手，平静地说：“我太太一向没有说人是非的雅兴。不，她没对我谈起过关于你的任何事。” 贺静宜冷笑：“在我面前，你不用刻意这么维护她。” “你又在凭自己的想象揣测我的行为了，这没什么意义。”尚修文正色说，“她是我妻子，我对她的维护根本不需要出自刻意。” “可是你也别误解我，修文，当年离开W市以后，我曾经过得很艰难……” “不，请别对我回忆，你也没必要跟我交代什么，大家对自己的生活负责。没其他事的话，我先走一步了。” 尚修文起身离开，贺静宜注视着那个修长笔直的背影消失，只觉得心底的那个痛已经放大到了麻木的地步。 她喝完那杯威士忌，走到陈华住的大套房外，轻轻敲门。陈华端着一杯酒走过来给她开门，嘴角带着点儿浅笑：“请坐，静宜，你来得未免太迟了。” “对不起，董事长。”她只得低头道歉。 “我跟王丰、尚修文已经谈过了，请你重新评估对旭昇的收购计划，交一个详细的报告给我。” “董事长，请听我说。我昨天跟J市冶炼厂的几个主要领导碰面，他们对我提出的条件很满意，答应做职工代表大会的工作，相信冶炼厂的重组天平很快会倾斜到亿鑫这边。我们已经控制了铁矿石供应，只要拿下冶炼厂，旭昇再怎么拼销售也是枉然，市经委一样会敦促他们坐下来跟我们谈收购的条件。” “我没记错的话，两个月前，你就跟我说冶炼厂的兼并、旭昇的收购没有一点儿问题。如果再拖下去，成本越来越高，会影响到整个中部的投资发展计划。” “我保证，我会在最短的时间内处理好这件事。” 陈华喝了一口酒，放下酒杯：“那好。我们再来谈谈本地的投资项目，今天上午开会的时候，我很遗憾地看到，信和只在这个计划中占了极小一部分，可是老沈手下一个执行总经理对于整个项目的了解程度远远超过了你。” 贺静宜心底一沉。上午开会讨论的是亿鑫在本地最大的投资项目的启动，信和董事长沈家兴和执行总经理聂谦参加了会议，本来他们只是列席敬陪末座而已，但贺静宜却因为头天深夜才从J市赶回来，明显不在状态。她汇报以后，陈华问的几个问题，她都没法给出令他满意的回答。聂谦一开口便让众人刮目相看了，他态度从容，对答如流，对于整个方案的理解显然不局限于信和开发的那一小部分，会议后来基本变成了他和陈华的单独交流。 “对不起。”对着老板，根本不可能解释原因，更何况她拿不出什么解释来，她确实急于完成对旭昇的兼并，所以对其他项目有所忽视，而陈华却从来不是一个能让人敷衍过去的人。 果然陈华淡淡地说：“你头一次全面负责整个地区的投资，我认可了你拿出的投资计划，并不代表我认可你的执行能力。请你尽快交出报告，由董事会来判定你的工作成效。” 贺静宜一时只觉得疲惫不堪，她自从负责中部投资计划以后，就进入了超负荷工作的状态，再加上与尚修文重逢带来的心理震荡，的确在很大程度上影响了她的判断与工作效率。她再也支撑不住自己，靠到沙发背上。 陈华打量一下她，起身拿来一个酒杯，倒了一杯酒放到她面前：“如果累了，你可以请假休息一段时间。” 她苦笑：“董事长，是不是不需要我交报告，你就已经对我的能力打了分。” “你一向很努力。不过，我认为你确实需要调整。” “这么说，我已经没别的选择了。” “如果能在计划时间内拿下冶炼厂，你还有机会。” 贺静宜点点头：“好。” “你会拼命到这个程度，我承认，确实早就出乎我当初的预料了。” 贺静宜怅然一笑：“可是这样也没能让我摆脱花瓶的名声。” “当你做到一个足够的地位，就是英雄不问出处了。静宜，你见过有记者来问我旧事吗？” 贺静宜摇头：“没人有那胆子。” “不，”陈华也摇头了，“其实是因为我足够坦然，能面对所有的诘问了。当过我情人不是什么丑闻，你要是介意，就不能怪别人也介意。” “我是唯一一个不肯当你情人，情愿去当你下属的女人吗？”气氛似乎轻松下来，贺静宜突然问。 陈华点点头：“本来我不会愿意跟与我上过床的女人共事，你算是个例外。我给了你机会，不过做到今天这一步，凭的是你自己的努力。” 这个语气温和的评价让贺静宜百感交集，喉间仿佛有了一点儿哽咽之意：“如果我说我做累了，愿意……” 陈华大笑道：“不，静宜，你会认为我能同时给你很多选择、很多机会，显然还是不够了解我。六年前碰到你时，你是个彷徨的女孩子，可又活像只刺猬，浑身是刺，充满防备之心，很有趣。现在你已经成了职业女性，工作努力，是个称职的员工，可是我似乎老早就说过，我没兴趣跟我的下属有私人关系。” 贺静宜的脸火烧火燎般发烫，明白自己刚才说了无可挽回的傻话。 眼前这个男人是她从来也不敢说有把握的，她和他在一起的那一年，满心都是失意，而他安慰她的办法就是给她一张信用卡，鼓励她挥霍；她说想上学，他帮她找好学校；她看中的车，他眼都不眨给她买下来。 所有人都认为他对她宠爱有加，有求必应。只有她明白，她经历过的爱情不是这样的，他付出的只是钱，而不是真心。他根本没有认真对她，而她既做不到了解这个深不可测的男人，更谈不上驾驭。 她的不安全感一天天强烈起来，半是试探，半是想开始做一份工作争取独立，不必重蹈覆辙，她向他提出想进入他的公司工作。 他正色说道：“请你想清楚，当我的职员，就意味着不再是我的情人了，我从来不跟公司员工睡觉的。” 她咬牙点头答应下来。他果然当天便从给她买的公寓里搬走，第二天让秘书停掉她的信用卡，安排她去公司投资部门报到，再以后不管在什么场合碰到她，没有丝毫暧昧之处，跟对待别的职员没有任何两样。 现在她好不容易熬过了所有人怀疑她能力、对她侧目视之的阶段，在公司不断升迁，虽然仍有人讲她的闲话，时不时翻腾出她的过去交头接耳，可是没有人敢公然质疑她了。 她付出那么多艰辛才取得今天的成功，而且在她姿色最盛的时候，也没见他有一丝挽留，痛快放手由得她去。他不过是觉得她有趣而已，她怎么敢奢望他现在仍然对她有兴趣。 她只能将讲出刚才的那句话归结于鬼使神差，又或者是被尚修文的冷淡刺激得有些失常了。 她赔着干笑两声，拿起酒杯一饮而尽：“对不起，董事长，做完旭昇这个兼并以后，我真得放假好好休息了。” 贺静宜放下酒杯告退，坐电梯下到地下车库，再度伏到玛莎拉蒂的方向盘上，对自己说：对，你早就没有其他选择了。