Chapter 161 Chapter 5 Dim lights

After leaving the Baizhi Pass, it is the land of Great Summer. Although it is already the middle of winter, Xianyang is located in the southwest, and the climate is mild. It was still raining when Chu Qiao left the pass. The light blue distant mountains are shrouded in white rain and fog, the distant river is like a chain, winding through, the dusk on the field is extraordinarily beautiful, the black gold is slightly sinking, the earth is covered with gold, but the cold moon has risen indifferently, and the weeds are flourishing, Swaying high, at the same level as the horse's back, when the strong wind blows, you can see the Lili grass, like red golden waves, surging in waves from the vast sky.

Standing on the official road outside Xianyang City, she suddenly hesitated, not knowing if she should go in. The eleven years of her life were a torrent of calligraphy and painting, and the first eight years were the reflection of the cold night under the waves of the cold moon. In the next three years, there were bloody and ferocious marks of pens, pens and knives. Now that she has suddenly cast off the shackles of fate, she doesn't know what to do. The initial excitement gradually faded away, and the cooling mind was violently clashing in his mind. If it was true, what kind of identity is he now, and how can he interact with someone like her? She has already killed him several times. , Do you want to destroy everything in front of you with your own hands now?And if what she thought was all wrong, what Li Ce said was just Yan Xun mercifully letting her go, then what should she feel?

But now, she didn't even have the courage to open her mouth to ask a question. She lived in Xianyang City like this, and rented a small house with a single courtyard, located in a remote place, and there were two weeping willows growing in front of the door, which were bare and withered and yellow. In the blink of an eye, seven or eight days have passed, and the New Year has come. The city of Xianyang is decorated with lanterns and festoons, full of festive atmosphere. The landlord next door sees that she is a single young woman living here alone, so he invites her twice or three times to celebrate the New Year with her. They were all declined by her.

Three days later, the annual Lantern Festival came, and there was a clear snow in the early morning, but the snowflakes melted before they hit the ground, but a thin layer had accumulated on the trees. Looking from afar, The mountaintops in the distance are white, the clear water veins below the mountain, the city is full of phoenix trees covering the sun, and there is a landscape of lakes and mountains. The landlord is a fat woman in her thirties, she looks very kind, she has a pair of children under her knees, her husband is a teacher at a private school in the city, and she is considered a well-off family.That girl seemed to like Chu Qiao very much, every day when she passed the door, she stretched her neck to look in. Seeing that she was curious, her brother would sometimes support her underneath and let her lie on the blue wall to have a look.

In the evening, Chu Qiao was afraid that the landlord would call her to eat again, so she went out by herself. It's not dark yet, and the lantern market has not yet opened, but the street is already very lively, bustling crowds are everywhere, all kinds of food stalls are arranged in a whole row around the street, hawkers selling boiled wine, shredded tobacco, rouge and playthings are crowded The main street of Xianyang was full, and Chu Qiao thought it was too lively, so she avoided it a little. Because it is a festival, the wives and ladies of rich families who usually don’t go out also leave the mansion one after another. There are sedan chairs, soft chairs and carriages carried by several people everywhere on the street, passing by Chu Qiao one by one, and occasionally there are a few wisps of laughter. , and the warm fumigated wind blowing from the distant lake, there is a peaceful and quiet atmosphere.

Compared with the red, pink and green eyes, Chu Qiao's clothes are very plain.But after all, it is a thing of the Bian Tang Palace, after all, it is more gorgeous and exquisite than the ordinary civilian clothes. The cloud gauze thin clothes of lotus root color, the long skirt of light blue lotus root and white, and the faint magnolia flowers embroidered with very light silk thread, look from afar. , such as fresh and fresh lotus.Coupled with her calm and gentle demeanor, walking alone on the long and silent long street of Wutong, all the scholars and young men passing by rushed to pay attention, and occasionally those who wanted to come forward to strike up a conversation, but they hesitated a little when they walked up to her. I feel that her cool and calm air is not like the reserved and affectation of ordinary women, but she really doesn't pay attention to the many figures, and if she hesitates for a moment, she has already gone far.

The sky is getting darker, the twilight is closing, and the heavens are beautiful, giving a full moon tonight, the stars are few and far between, and the faint moonlight is sifted by the leaves that are sparse or sparse, and is broken into tiny bright lights, which fall lightly on her. shoulder. This is not the first time she has come to Xianyang City. Three years ago, she led troops to escape from Zhenhuang City. On the way, she met Zhao Song and Zhao Chun'er brothers and sisters who were killed. After escorting them, they were chased and killed by Zhao Chun'er. Together they were captured as slaves, and then sold into Zhan's house, where they found the three sisters of Jing Zisu.

The years are in a trance, like white water in fleeting years. Zhao Song has not heard from Zhao Song for many years. The prince of the Tian family, who was full of gold and jade, must have already faded out of the competition in Daxia because of his disability, and Zhao Chun'er is even more scattered. Step by step Stepped into the filthy and secluded place, now she is scattered and scattered, and she doesn't know where she is, and Jing Zisu's soul has returned to the underworld, becoming a ghost that no one cares about in the troubled times. A faint smile curled up on the corner of Chu Qiao's mouth. The smile was so thin that it disappeared before it reached the side of her face. It looked like a cage of faint smoke, scattered sadly in the cold wind.

Perhaps, only Liang Shaoqing can really live happily for a few days. In this world, people who are too clear are always unhappy. In the distance, a large area of ​​bright lights lit up, red, green, green, golden and dark pink, like colored glaze.The sound of firecrackers, the cheerful childish laughter of children, the yelling of peddlers, and the tenderness of girls all flowed along the wind along the shore of the lake. In her ears, it was like a warm and cold fire, burning warmly. , but there is no warmth at all, as if it came from another world. It has been a long time since the Shangyuan Lantern Festival.

She raised her head and looked up, her eyes vaguely pierced through the time, and it was fixed on the first day. The scarlet pony and the white-fur boy, holding a snow-white rabbit lamp, followed behind the young man. The man turned his head, The eyes are cool and quiet. She always thought that they were indifferent and cruel, and cold without temperature. A mirror was erected in her eyes. No matter what kind of eyes she looked at, they were all reflected coldly. Stop, and look down at the mortal beings below with disdain. However, when she recalled the beginning again now, she seemed to see clearly in his eyes, and saw a trace of eternity hidden in those long eyes, but was firmly suppressed, unable to come out of them.

If there were no festive lanterns going around that day, no firecrackers from children to startle her pony, and if she hadn't been allowed to gallop outside the city, trekking in the snow with Yan Xun all night, would everything have changed a little bit differently? Maybe not, maybe the hand that should be clenched is still clenched, the sword that should be raised is still raised, the oath that should be betrayed is still betrayed, everything will go slowly according to the process set by God, and no one can escape this fate. reincarnation. But, at the very least, if there was no separation, then recalling the Shangyuan Lantern Festival about him today, there would not be only a blurred back and a warm candle. Before I knew it, I had walked a long way. A big elm tree stood by the lake, which was thick and tall. It was estimated to be thirty or forty years old. It was covered with red cloth strips and various paper-cuts. It was the countryside The superstition of the people, they believe that there are gods living in the elm tree, and the thicker and older the tree, the more magical it is. Chu Qiao stood under the tree, an inexplicable emotion rose from the bottom of her heart, she didn't know what was on the tree, she just quietly raised her head and looked at it for a long time, half-closed her eyes, neither happy nor sad, His sight pierced through the dusty years, like a clear lake. She didn't know that when she was bought by the Zhan's house three years ago, there was also a man riding by here. The sun was blue and white that day, and he was dressed quietly under the tree. He was not the same as her Passed by. She reached into her bosom, but only touched one side of the jade pendant. Holding the jade pendant, Chu Qiao suddenly lost her mind. She snatched it from Zhuge Yue when she was fighting with Zhuge Yue at the Neitian Chengshou Mansion in Wupeng City that day. Afterwards, he found out that she was pretending to be Jiaji, and he even asked her for it. Throw it into the lake in the mansion.The servants in Tian Chengshou's mansion were busy all night, digging the lake to divert water, but they returned in vain. On the day she left Yanbei, she didn't bring anything with her, except for it by a strange coincidence. Time flies, the memory sticks to the heart like a piece of cold jade, looking up, it is already a pool of bitterness like water. Going around, after all, is the face of Liren. Even though the mountains and rivers are not there, the years are twists and turns, and Yin and Yang are not separated, there are still family and country enmity between them. Besides, she is so physically and mentally, how can she have the qualifications and courage to get close? . She closed her eyes and threw Peiyu up with a wave of her hand. It was only for a moment, but thousands of thoughts flooded into her mind, playing with the universe, she and him were nothing after all. Turning around to leave, there was a crisp "ding" sound from behind his ears, like slender fingers gently picking up the strings of a guqin.She looked back in a hurry, two bright jade lights fell from the elm tree, and fell into her two hands impartially, one on the left and the other on the right. White and translucent, warm and smooth, both in style and color are exactly the same, they are actually a pair of twin jade pendants. Chu Qiao was stunned suddenly, her heart was boiling like a boil, and a rush of thoughts climbed up her spine, a bitterness was choked in her throat, like hot lava, and it was about to spurt out at the slightest gap, she closed her eyes, exhausted It took all the strength to swallow the bitterness. Vaguely, his thoughts went back, and he wove the light-colored landscape figure with a trace of memories. The man's clothes were fluttering, his eyebrows were trimmed and his eyes were solemn, what kind of thought did he throw away the jade pendant, and then he rode his horse back and took a step forward. Leaving this tree full of peace and blessings step by step. Her eyes were sour, but she didn't shed tears. She stood silently. I don't know how long it took. Rows of lights came here. Countless flower boats floated on the lake, and children laughed and walked past her. She didn't realize it.She didn't wake up until a peddler selling lamps passed by. The lantern was still the same, with friendly features, as if it was the one she used to have. She watched quietly, unable to take her eyes off it.The peddler was in a hurry, and asked with a frown, "I said girl, have you picked it out?" She paid the money hastily, and stood on the road with the lantern in her hand, with a thin back, like a dazed child. The flow of people gradually came, and she followed the crowd in a daze. All the way, there were warm laughter, gongs and drums, and some big families were setting off fireworks. The fragrance of the rouge on the lady's daughter's body when she passed by, and the fragrance of the budding plum blossoms. Some people make lanterns, some guess lantern riddles, some drink, some eat, some watch juggling, some sing songs, this night, everything It seemed to be alive, and happiness echoed around like wanton. She looked straight ahead and walked silently alone, carefully holding the lantern in her hand so as not to be damaged by others. The bright and flickering lights shone on her face, she looked so thin, and her back was so slit, lonely, out of tune with the bustle around her. Some people saw her, but some didn't pay attention. She walked quietly like this, passing through so many people's attention and ignorance, and went forward and forward alone, but she didn't know where she was going. Finally, the candles were gradually burnt out, and only faint lights came out. She walked to the lake and carefully picked up the colored lights. The green lake water wetted the corners of her skirt, but she didn't care. The weeping willows on the bank Hanging the withered and yellow branches on her face, itchy and tangled, like the locks of fate, gently sweeping on her shoulders. Zhuge Yue, I will owe you all my life, if possible, in the next life, let's meet earlier at the right time. Pale fingers pushed lightly, and the rabbit lantern floated away. The lake was rippling, and the lantern was like a small boat, light and floating. With the waves of water, it gradually merged into the funeral night. Gentle cruising on the lake. Chu Qiao stood up, and kept staring like that, the night wind blew on her face, the shuddering cold was like a sharp arrow, gliding past her heart lightly, the world was colorful and glazed, but her heart was like The lamp that is gradually moving away, the light flickers, is about to go out.She made that decision, crushed her own hope with her own hands, the world collapsed silently in her hands, the carved beams and painted buildings rotted into ashes, the pearls and jade brocades dried up on the ground, life has long since left her, and what is left is only a vast gray and endless darkness. Suddenly, a small wave hit the small lamp, and a dragon boat leading flower boat came first. The water splashed by the oars splashed on the lamp, and the light flickered and was about to go out. It's about to sink into the water. For some reason, Chu Qiao's already cold and numb heart tightened suddenly. She took a step forward unconsciously, and frowned slightly, as if she was worried about the little lamp that was drifting with the tide. At this moment, a larger lantern floated over, the silk thread at the top was entangled with Chu Qiao's filament, and it spun a few times on the spot, but accidentally saved the small lantern from falling down, and blocked it. Most of the water splashes that went to the flower boat gradually drifted to the quiet waters aside with a small light. The same snow-white pattern of jade rabbits, one big and one small cuddled together, it was a different kind of warmth and harmony.With the blocking of the lamp, the light of the small lamp lighted up slightly again, gradually warming and warmly illuminating the surrounding water area. Chu Qiao breathed a sigh of relief, although it will always be extinguished, it is always good to light up for a while. She slowly loosened her tightly locked eyebrows, let out a breath, and raised her eyes inadvertently, on the other side of the green lake, a Chuo Ran figure who had been lingering in her sleep for a long time actually appeared in front of her eyes! As if she was being shocked by an electric shock, she stood there silently, and she seemed to see him again, just like the elegant and elegant style back then, dressed in a white shirt, a light silk cape, her black hair half covered, her lips seemed to be vermilion, and her eyes were like Hanhu, just a quiet glance, has already taken away the beauty and brilliance of thousands of lights in her world. The dragon boat passed through the lake, shadowy and shadowy, blocking their sight. The bright red silk and happy crowd adorned the night. Through the sparse gaps, the four eyes finally passed through the barriers of thousands of mountains and rivers. In an instant, time Turning around, looking back under the water, the quiet eyes of the cold pool in the memory overlapped with the lonely and silent man in front of him, like a shadow like an illusion, like a flower like a mist. He also looked at her quietly, holding a crossbar of a lantern in his hand just like her. The stop, solidified in this brightly lit moment. In an instant, thousands of gorgeous fireworks ignited behind the two, and the brilliant firelight reflected their intertwined gazes. Chu Qiao looked at him, that gaze was something he had never seen before, and he didn't even know what words to use to describe it.It's like a traveler on the desert looking up at a mirage, like an abandoned child looking at his hometown in his sleep, like an unbelievable illusion, but he can't bear to look away, longing, but knowing that he can't get it no matter what.That was the expectation of more than 600 nights, but the hope was completely shattered at the moment of daylight. She half-opened her lips, as if she wanted to say something, but she couldn't open her mouth after all, her vermilion lips trembled, they expanded little by little, curled up, meandered, almost shattered, but finally condensed into a curved smile, the smile lines have not yet risen At the bottom of the eyes, two lines of tears have already fallen, following the trembling smile, rolling down the pointed face line by line, the brows are bulging with joy and joy of the vicissitudes of life. The dragon boat dissipated, and she suddenly ran wildly. She had been avoiding, shrinking, staying away, and pushing away all her life. After a narrow escape, she suddenly collapsed in panic. Could it be just a momentary illusion and light and shadow? As long as it is touched, it will collapse and fly like a shattered dream? The girl ran so fast that passers-by along the way cast strange glances at her, but she couldn't care less.Clothes are like distant Sulian, fluttering with her running, her knees are weak, her ears are ringing, she crossed the lake embankment, the plum forest, the stone bridge, and the willow branches, and finally she was out of breath Standing there, I just feel that everything is ending like a cloud, which is unreal and frightening. Zhuge Yue was still looking at her, his eyes were quiet, and there was a hint of hidden pity in the intertwined eyes. The bustling crowd suddenly arrived, rushing towards them lively. Chu Qiao was so afraid suddenly, it was different from death, different from being exiled, she was strong and determined in her whole life, and she was so afraid only twice in the past ten years.The first time was at the moment when he fell into the deep lake, and the second time was now. She reached out her hand recklessly, and firmly grabbed his skirt, no matter how crowded the crowd was, she refused to let go. The back of her hand was suddenly covered with a layer of warmth, and one hand held her tightly. When the lights faded, she leaned towards him, and he used his arms to open up a quiet space for her. The figures beside him floated, and the water rippled horizontally. She was so close to him, so close that she could smell his breath. Looking at him with both eyes, as if trying to dig two holes out of his face. Tears overflowed, she forced herself to calm down, but she still couldn't help stretching out her trembling hand, as if she wanted to touch his figure lightly. These are the eyebrows, slender, slightly raised, but never the real eyes are higher than the top. This is the eye, cold and quiet, but never let her go to the water and fire without looking back. This is the mouth, less words and mean , but never as aloof and indifferent as he has shown. The answer she had been looking for was right in front of her eyes, but she felt her knees were sore and her whole body was weak, a suppressed sound came out of her throat, and as soon as her body went limp, she fell to one side. He quickly grabbed her waist with his hands, and the moment his body touched, it seemed as if a large vicissitudes of time passed by them. She couldn't hold back her long suppressed cry, and finally let it out, he Encircling her, her tears fell on his chest, moistened his clothes, and soaked into his heart and lungs layer by layer. "Why did you lie to me? Why didn't you come to see me? I thought you were dead..." She choked up and cried, her body was trembling slightly, and she said over and over again: "I thought you were dead..." Zhuge Yue pursed his lips tightly and did not speak. He did not come thousands of miles to see her, but just hoped to get closer to her within the range of his ability not to disturb her. The ancient city of Xianyang is the last city in Daxia that is close to Bian Tang. He opened his lips several times, after all, he didn't know how to face her like this, his hands and feet were almost at a loss, after all, he suppressed thousands of complicated thoughts, stroked her back, and maintained his usual appearance with a clear voice , pretending to be impatient and said: "Don't cry, I'm not dead yet." "If you don't die, you don't know, come and find me!" Chu Qiao pushed him away, crying with tears in her eyes, "Don't you know how to send a letter?" She had never cried like this in front of him, and she seemed to be unable to stand still. All of a sudden, the past of his life of escape and displacement became indistinct. The despair and hardship of being chased and killed by others, The several narrow escapes in the past two years all seemed so insignificant. He stretched out his hand and greeted her domineeringly: "Come here." She wiped away her tears, and for the first time in her life, she no longer wanted to fight against him, and threw herself into his arms, crying and cursing: "You crazy!" Thousands of waters and thousands of mountains are separated, family and country are blocked by hatred and resentment, crossing life and death, suddenly looking back, that person is in a dimly lit place.