Chapter 20 Twenty, people who are not worth pondering

If the enemy does not move, I will not move. Fortunately, Wang Pingping has a naturally numb face. Blank is not really "blank".When everyone is completely relaxed, the direction of facial muscles conveys different emotions to others.For example, I will be asked "Are you sleepy", but Lao He has a hidden anger drooping at the corners of his mouth; my dad can put on a natural "bullying" face when he is leisurely, while Teng Zhen always keeps his eyes open Look thoughtful. Perhaps because of my disgust and curiosity about this body, I often observe Wang Pingping and find that she is the first person I have ever seen with an expressionless face that is really just an expressionless person. When she does not give feedback , it was difficult for the other party to guess what kind of emotions she was brewing.

Obviously Song Heci interpreted resentment from this insensitive face. "The last time I saw you at the office door, I wanted to ask you," Song Heci said in a gentle voice, but now he lowered his voice, "Ask you..." Thinking of something, he walked up a few steps backwards, peeped through the gap between the turnings of the stairs to see if anyone was upstairs or downstairs, then looked over my shoulder, inspected the empty corridor again, and finally focused on my face with difficulty. "Why did you come to No. 1 Middle School?" Song Heci's tone was full of guilt, shyness, and the embarrassment of having to ask.

Wang Pingping's numb face bought me a little time to think.How can I answer it? A. Who are you? I don't know you! B. Where do I go if I don’t go to No. 1 Middle School? Where do you think I can go? C. So what if I just can't forgive you, are you worthy of me? D. Dear teacher. Nice talking to you. See you! I stared at the vertical row of dark gray Chinese buttons on the front of Song Heci's clothes.A flash of inspiration. "You don't know that I committed suicide?" I asked very calmly. Song Heci seemed to have been hit by a big thunderbolt on Tianling Gai on a sunny day, and his whole body was blown up, but the blow was very silent, and he tried his best to hold his skin.

"Why are you so overwhelmed..." He considered for a long time, and chose a very neutral rhetoric. I tilted my head to look at him, feeling more and more interesting. "My parents have gone to Teng Zhen, do you know? To confirm whether it is him." Song Heci's eyes were confused, and after a while, he understood something. "This is what you mean by insurance." He slumped on the steps and stood up again as if he had been scalded, but he couldn't raise his eyes, and nailed himself firmly in place through his feet. That's right, it's not complicated at all.

"Teng Zhen" is nothing more than an encryption program, Wang Pingping likes Teacher Song, and every young woman in literature cannot escape it. Wang Pingping went to junior high school and Song Heci taught high school. How did they meet?Through the extracurricular tutoring class that Zhang Xiaoman mentioned? He asked Wang Pingping why she came to No. 1 Middle School, because he knew that she originally applied for the experimental middle school; but after Wang Pingping committed suicide, her parents were furious and would rather let her go to the second-class No. 1 Middle School in the city. He didn't know about this, so I speculated that he didn't know about Wang Pingping's suicide, so he cheated casually, as expected.

He was very afraid of Wang Pingping. After the first meeting in the language office, he wondered why Wang Pingping came to No. 1 Middle School; Dare to ask; I didn't expect that in the public class, the blue sky hit a ghost. "Today's public class is very important for me to evaluate my title." Every word of Song Heci seemed to be squeezed out with all his might. "Pingping, you know me best. It's not easy for me to have today. Let's talk about anything after today. Don't, don't..." Song Heci's fidgeting made me look down on him a bit. There were too many twists and turns between him and Wang Pingping that I didn't know about. I roughly attributed the current predicament to the fact that he wanted to break up the relationship but threw the mouse at the mouse.A female classmate who commits suicide at every turn is a huge time bomb set on the bright future of the young teacher, which can blow him up to nowhere at any time.

But Wang Pingping's suicide was his own choice, and it's not my turn to avenge her, and I don't want to push Song Heci into a hurry. If you drive a dog into a poor alley, wouldn't it be forcing someone to bite me?I have to tell him, Mr. Song, easy, this matter has changed, and the road is facing the sky. "Teacher Song!" I shouted, he was finally willing to look at me, the focus of his eyes was clearly on my chin, and he couldn't lift it even a centimeter higher. I was waiting for further explanation: "That's right, Mr. Song..." "Teacher Song!"

At the same time, shouts sounded very close.Song Heci stood at attention urgently and organized himself into a whole person. At the same time, Zhang Xiaoman turned the corner and took a half step back in surprise when he saw us. "Ms. Song, a teacher just came over and told us students to wait in the auditorium together." "Understood," Song Heci nodded gently, then paused, "Wang Pingping, let's go, what I just told you..." He wasn't sure if I would cooperate with him in his "prudishness", so I just seized the opportunity to calm him down. Uneasy: "Teacher Song, I know, I missed all your rehearsals before, and I don't understand the situation."

He walked ahead without daring to look at me, but his shoulders were visibly looser. Zhang Xiaoman's face sank like water: "Teacher Song didn't criticize you just now, did he?" "No," I shook my head, "he has a good temper." Zhang Xiaoman smiled. "The classroom is a little far away," I stretched my waist, "did you just yell all the way here?" She paused for a moment and didn't answer.I did not continue to ask. There is nothing more meaningful than the silence between you and yourself. In 2003, few high schools built comprehensive teaching buildings with more than 6 floors. After all, high school students have no right to take elevators, and climbing stairs is too inhumane.The construction of the vocational high school is indeed magnificent. The building we are in actually has 22 floors—it’s a pity that the design is a bit careless. The small auditorium used for the competition is not on the first floor, but on the 12th floor.

High school students have no right to ride an elevator, as I said earlier. All the way up from the 2nd floor to the 12th floor, I held Ventolin spray tightly in my hand.Wang Pingping has suffered from "incontinence" once, even if I sacrificed her selfishly, I will have to save some face in the future. The auditorium is not big, and each class will withdraw immediately after the competition, and the waiting class will fill in the vacant seats.We waited at the side gate, and the students from the previous session filed out. I vaguely saw the class walking on the stage wearing the school uniform of the No. 1 High School of the City. Zhang Xiaoman stretched his neck to look inside.

When we quietly sat in the empty seats in the middle of the auditorium, it was indeed Teng Zhen's class on the stage. The small auditorium has a funnel-shaped design, and the slope of the seat arrangement is very steep: the stage is the lowest point, and tables and chairs are placed on it. In order for everyone to show their faces, the participating teachers and projection screens are facing the first row of judges' seats and the students' seats. Semicircular layout.I sat at the top, and Teng Zhen sat at the bottom, and now it was finally his turn to become the fungus in the petri dish. Even though I have used Wang Pingping's fresh and young brain to review the knowledge of junior high school during the one week of leave, chemistry in the second year of high school is still too difficult for me.Their nagging molecular chains on stage made me sleepy.This teacher really wants to win, throws out a new courseware every minute, carefully prepares various small videos, and also makes small colorful animations of molecular structures, which makes me miss a lot of the same rough domestic preschool education flash animation. About last year, my dad forced me to go to a relative's house that I couldn't tell what relationship I had with me.A young woman in my family who was about my age volunteered to help my father to urge the marriage, so she righteously left her baby son who looked like an angel in her eyes and wanted to conceive immediately when she saw her, and I stayed in the small room with me.With the little boy screaming on the bed in the hut, and eight laughing elder women in the living room separated by a wall, my third option was to go through the window.The fourteenth floor of their house. In desperation, I took out the iPad from my bag and downloaded a nursery rhyme MV through the hotspot of my mobile phone. The animation effect was bright and stiff. "What's daddy's daddy's name!" "Call Grandpa!" I remember that this is a famous preschool education song, which teaches children about ethics and seniority. The Pleasant Goat coin-operated stroller at the entrance of the supermarket plays it on a loop all year round, but the song I downloaded is a male version for some reason, which is a bit noisy. I feel that I am very entertaining and entertaining, and the little boy is like a treasure, and he stopped barking, holding the screen and following the study obsessively, so I put on the noise-canceling headphones to watch the British TV series on the mobile phone.Unexpectedly, the little boy was too precious, and my dad was too kind-hearted. Facing the eight smiling female elders and the angel baby holding the iPad, he said, it’s okay, it’s okay, let Xiaobao—— He spit out three words that made me despair: "Play first." I have never given up on getting my iPad back, not because I feel sorry for the thousands of dollars, but because my dad dragged me to make soft persimmons together. But one time when I was riding in Teng Zhen's car, I heard this song again and completely calmed down. I asked, this song, this song...who sang it. Teng Zhen glanced at me at the short red light, and smiled: "An underground band called XXX, spoof nursery rhymes, agricultural heavy metal rock, have you heard of it? Changed all the words, it's very interesting." Teng Zhen thought I liked it, and turned the knob up.The car started, and the lead singer yelled in my ear: "What's the name of Uncle's boyfriend!..." "Uncle Fei next door calls him Dad!" ... I never dared to bring up that iPad again. I don't know what their children will call when they see Uncle Cao next door. But I miss the iPad, the PS4, and the Porsche I couldn’t meet while ordering, and I even want eight female elders to smile at me together, waking up this long and boundless nightmare. My fugue was interrupted by whispers around me.Looking at the stage, Teng Zhen and two other boys came on stage. Two boys in white coats stood in front of the test bench in the middle, and Teng Zhen stood aside, with a plaster cast on his right arm; but because the people are too dazzling, the layout looks like the male host is going to announce the cross talk performance . "What we are going to show you today are some common chemical phenomena in daily life. I was originally one of them, but unfortunately," Teng Zhen tapped the plaster with his left hand, his voice was clear and clear, "A little physics accident happened. " All the girls cheered and laughed. How funny is that! Sitting next to me, Zhang Xiaoman naturally didn't smile - she still has this basic pretense and reserve, but her entire upper body is bent on the back of the front seat, her eyes are bright, her chin rests on her folded arms, As supple as a cat in a good mood. "For a while, Liang Shengmei will answer the final question. What about you, have you been arranged for any wonderful performance?" I asked. Zhang Xiaoman shrugged: "New words." "This doesn't show your style at all." Because the front row was empty, I simply lay down like Zhang Xiaoman, and it was easier to whisper, "You can't make him fall in love with you just by looking at you." She turned her head and stared at me suddenly, the shy and angry girlish expression was so fun, and I became a bit of a tourist mentality again-it is a wonderful experience to be able to observe a vivid, 3D self up close. "I shouldn't have told you." Her voice was extremely low. Just when I thought the conversation was over, Zhang Xiaoman spoke quietly. "I didn't call you until three days after you asked for leave, because Liang Shengmei came to see you. I told her that you were sick and asked for leave, and she said, don't pretend, you deliberately didn't tell people that the make-up class was dismissed early, and Wang Pingping was arrested by the parents Senior Teng Zhen saw it with his own eyes. The person who pulled his pants last time was not Wang Pingping, she was trying to cover you, an informer. I guess, Senior Teng Zhen told her this sentence, in front of him in the hospital On the face, I said I slipped my mouth." Straightforwardly, I couldn't hear her emotions and intentions. "Senior Teng Zhen thinks I'm a very annoying girl, I know." I know that too. Even outside Gao Laotou Restaurant, I told him the whole story of the incident that hurt Liang Shengmei, and my tongue was dry. I analyzed that Zhang Xiaoman was the culprit who leaked his words, and Teng Zhen only gave back a thoughtful brief moment. expression, quickly turned the topic to whether I am gay or not. He ran to the restaurant and told me that Aunt Gao’s make-up class was over early, and he didn’t forget to add, “Didn’t Zhang Xiaoman tell you?”. On the bus, Hao Lin didn't dare to look directly at Zhang Xiaoman, his dodging eyes were full of the shyness of boys of the same age towards a beautiful girl, but Teng Zhen watched Liang Shengmei provoke Zhang Xiaoman, and smiled, as if he was watching a cricket fight. Zhang Xiaoman, he doesn't like you.Seventeen-year-olds don't like it, and thirty-year-olds don't like it either.He has certain beliefs about you, and you can't explain it, because he doesn't want to prove it, and he doesn't bother to prove it. You are not worthy of his distraction. "So," I asked her, "did you deliberately not tell me about the early dismissal of make-up classes?" Zhang Xiaoman didn't say "how can you think of me like that" nonsense.She pursed her lips tightly and said nothing. "I'm fat and ugly, of course you don't think he likes me. But you don't understand why, he always teases me, a boy deliberately provokes a girl, but he is quite sure and appreciates her in key things, for example, the foreign teacher class .” I saw Zhang Xiaoman blinking quickly. This is my little trick.Blinking looks surprised and innocent. Whenever I feel guilty, I can always calm down quickly by blinking a few more times. Every blink is an F5 refresh of the brain interface, which has been tried and tested. I don't want to continue to observe Zhang Xiaoman's expression: "No matter whether this familiar look is because I like me, at least, I am more enthusiastic than you. So you are upset, not to mention that I know that you like him, and I still talk to him openly." It's even worse to mature like this, right?" Cheers erupted from the audience.We looked at the stage at the same time, and caught a moment of wonderful blue sparks, which burst out of thin air and disappeared instantly, like a ray of Northern Lights left behind in the world. I know this, I've seen it on TV before, blowing soap bubbles with hydrogen, and when they fly to the middle of the road, use a blowtorch to ignite lightly, and a bright blue spark will appear in the air - but this is not a junior high school Chemistry content? "Aurora Maker" Teng Zhen held a gun in his left hand, and blew on the muzzle of the flamethrower to show off his handsomeness, which caused excited whispers again. At this moment, Zhang Xiaoman spoke, slowly but firmly. "I didn't mean not to tell you." "Yes," I nodded, "you just didn't tell me on purpose." It's a bit cryptic, but I believe she understands. I know that in life, the word "intentional" is very precious, and it is full of thoughts.How many people are willing to spend their time saying and doing more for others?Zhang Xiaoman didn't deliberately hide my time from school. She silently observed how closely Wang Pingping's parents watched me, silently watched me squatting to watch Wang Shu just leave, and happily slipped out of the make-up class, and silently swallowed the warning words. Should she mention me?For her sake of protecting her, I buckled myself, took the last place in the test, and said to her on the rooftop, "No matter what you say, I will believe you, I believe you are a very good girl", after she was beaten by Teng Zhen and Liang Shengmei Hold her hand firmly while attacking in my name - should she pay me back? On the rooftop, I said to her, "Don't worry about why, just trust me like I trust you." I think of every time Zhang Xiaoman shakes off my hand, I think of her eating lunch alone, going to the bathroom, and hearing the girls in the class talk about her having no friends, but she insists on not getting close to anyone... The emotional ripples dissipated, and Zhang Xiaoman, who calmed down, didn't believe in me or anyone. Seventeen-year-old me, what was I thinking? "If I can make Teng Zhen hate me very much, really hate me, not the kind of joke, will you be willing to make friends with me sincerely?" I've tried my best to sound like a quiet joke, but it's still the lowest slur I've ever said.Even in the face of their own. Zhang Xiaoman obviously didn't think so. "If you 'can'? Of course you can." She said lightly, burying her face in her arms. I laughed at myself being fat and ugly under the fat and ugly appearance, but it was actually a hidden high profile, and she was not unaware of it.One sentence left me speechless. Is this why she resisted me? "Did I treat you badly?" I asked dryly. She raised her head: "No one in this world can be nice to another person for no reason." "Why not, did your parents treat you—" The sentence stopped in mid-air, and I paused. I remembered the moment when I was kicked away by that madman when I was five years old.Mother. I wanted to look for clues on Zhang Xiaoman's face, but there was a sound of glass breaking on the stage, accompanied by screams, and chemical reagents shattered to the ground. The gauze used by Teng Zhen to hang his arm caught fire.