Chapter 6 Section five

When I got home, Mom stood alone in the kitchen.Even shopping is a big project these days, so I can't cook a decent meal, but it should be fine today. "I am back." I talked to my mother, but my mother didn't respond.Taking a closer look, she put the blanched spinach on the cutting board, held the kitchen knife in her right hand, and stared blankly at the sky. Until a long time later, I still remember my mother's expression at that time.A little empty, a little lonely, and a little unapproachable. I used to think that it was absolutely impossible for a so-called mother to feel inaccessible.Maybe that's why I was so impressed.I didn't dare to make a sound, so I could only look at her silently, hoping that she would find me and say "you're back" to me.

I wished so badly that she would have turned to look at me without me having to keep yelling - I don't know why, but that was very important to me at the time. However, Mom didn't notice me, nor did she turn her head to look at me, she just tilted her head slightly and stood there blankly.I finally couldn't bear it anymore. "mom." no response. "mom!" Still no change. I knocked on the table with both hands. "mom!" Mom was startled, the tip of the kitchen knife shook, and then she turned her head immediately. "Ah...boy." "What boy. What's the matter with you?"

"When did you come back?" "Just now." I said a little angrily. "What are you thinking? If you continue in a daze, the spinach will take root on the cutting board." "It's less disgusting." Mom bared her front teeth and smiled. "Are you hungry? You can have dinner in ten minutes, go wash your hands." In order not to let myself starve to death during these ten minutes, I took an apple from the basket on the dining table. "I'm no longer a primary school student. You don't need to order such trivial matters." "Oh, is it? I'm so sorry."

There was a brisk chopping sound in the kitchen.When I was about to leave the kitchen with my schoolbag on my back and an apple in my mouth, I said to my mother, "By the way, I just grabbed Shimazaki's house and saw a photo of Mr. Sawamura, which was published in a magazine." The sound of chopping vegetables suddenly stopped.Mom maintained the same posture and said, "That's it." "Mom didn't see it?" "Hmm. Is the magazine out?" "That's right, I don't know where I dug it out, and it even posted a whole page." "What an exaggeration."

I gnawed at the apple and smiled. "However, I was really taken aback. Mr. Sawamura is quite handsome." "Really? Mom has forgotten." The kitchen knife moved again, the soup pot on the gas stove boiled, and Ma quickly opened the lid.I was walking down the corridor, eating an apple, and was about to open my door when I stopped. In the corner of the corridor is a tripod that Dad made during the holidays, and the bottom layer is stacked with old newspapers.Mom is a very strict person, and she usually tidies up everything neatly, but for some reason, it collapsed today. I bent down to pile up the old newspapers that had collapsed and saw a magazine stuffed inside.

It was the gossip magazine that published that photo that I saw at Shimazaki. (What, Mom obviously saw it.) But I dare not go back to the kitchen to mom, and I must not ask.Why hide magazines?Why pretend not to know?It was only natural that Mom would be interested, but why would she do this? I should have asked, but I couldn't ask, and I couldn't ask anyway. However, my dad who came home later asked. I will talk about the results first.That night, we didn't have the dinner Mom prepared.As soon as Dad got home, he went to the refrigerator and took out a can of beer. After finishing half of the can in one go, he started the conversation with "I have something to say", and our peaceful dinner time was over.

I was sitting on the sofa in front of the TV, and Mom was reading the newspaper at the dining table. Dad went to the dining table and stopped, holding the beer can tightly in his hand. "No brains, what's the matter?" Compared with Dad's opening remarks, Mom's words made my heart jump even more. "You know what's going on!" Dad finished speaking, pulled out the chair and sat down. "Today Director Miyake specially called me over to give me a lecture - it was you who made me lose face in front of my subordinates!" Director Miyake is Dad's boss and also a matchmaker for Mom and Dad.Every New Year, I have to go to him and his wife to pay New Year's greetings.He is very generous and will give me a big red envelope every time, so I look forward to visiting his house every year.

However, I have a bigger purpose besides the red envelope.Director Miyake's hobby is shooting, and he has a competition gun at home.When I heard it for the first time, I was so excited that I kept asking questions and couldn't keep my mouth shut.My parents gave me winks and told me not to ask any more questions, but Director Miyake was very happy and told me many things about him going to a big game or going to Alaska to shoot a rifle.Not only that, but he showed me a shotgun and a loaded real gun and put it in my hands.I didn't expect the gun to be so heavy, and I was very surprised.I supported it with both hands, but I couldn't even support it for a minute when the director helped me take pictures.

"When you grow up, you can take the exam for a license. When you pass the exam, I will teach you everything I know." I was so happy to hear the director say that. In my eyes, Director Miyake is a model of "manly".And that person actually called Dad to the desk to embarrass Dad?What kind of embarrassment is it? Pa drank another beer, threw the empty can on the table, and asked in a low voice. "Satoko, what is your relationship with that Sawamura?" After a sweaty silence, Ma said slowly, "I can't hear you." "What did you say?" "I said I couldn't hear you! Why don't you speak louder? Say your question loudly!"

Dad clenched his chin and stared at Mom, saying, "What kind of attitude do you have!" "Me? You are the one to hate! What is this when you come back?" "I've endured it for a long time!" Dad suddenly raised his voice, and his voice became hoarse.I haven't seen Dad yell like that in a long time.Ever since I was yelled at by this kind of voice when I took the tram with my friends to Ueno Park to play without telling my mother, I haven't heard it again.It was also very scary at that time, so scary that even the policeman who found me came to appease Dad.

However, at that time, Dad was not as stooped as he is now, nor was he looking down at other people's faces as he is now, and he was not as miserable as he is now... "I was skeptical from the beginning! How could someone who is not relatives leave you 500 million yuan? But, I think...you, you can't do such a thing...that's why I have been patient until now." "Why do you have to bear it?" Mom said with a stiff face. "As long as you ask me directly like now, I will answer you, and it doesn't matter how many times you answer. I don't have any special relationship with Mr. Sawamura, and I've told you everything about my acquaintance with him." Dad showed a disdainful smile on his face as if he was biting something bitter: "Who would believe that kind of nonsense!" "Nonsense? You mean I made it up?" "Nonsense! Who would be grateful for that kind of thing, and leave all the property to you twenty years later!" "But that's the truth!" "Stop lying!" "Otherwise what do you want me to do?" "dad……" As soon as I opened my mouth, my dad yelled without even looking at me, "Kids don't interrupt!" "Don't yell at Yanan!" Now even Mom's voice began to tremble. "In front of children, don't you lose face!" "Stop arguing. Yelling at each other like this won't solve the problem!" I threw the pillow out and inserted it between my parents, "Don't yell, just calm down!" "Yanan, you go and stay in my room." Dad pushed me to the corridor.I couldn't stand and bumped into the wall, but I wasn't going to flinch like that. "Don't! Don't just treat me like a child at this time." "What did you say……" "It's worthless!" I don't know if it's because the roots of my teeth are tightened, but the veins in my mother's temples are throbbing. "I doubt it, but I can only endure it; because I dare not ask, I can only endure it. I knew it a long time ago." I was startled and turned to look at my mother.Mom made fists with both hands. "So I have been waiting, waiting for you to ask me in person. I have been prepared for a long time, as long as you dare to ask, I will answer you in every detail. But look at your current appearance, you only use this A useless way to ask?" "It's not the same no matter how you ask about this kind of thing! Anyway, the answer is the same." "It's not the same! What do you think? What I want to know is your thoughts, don't talk nonsense about the bullshit that those people in your company taught you!" "Congko, you..." "I'm telling you the truth, but you don't believe me, so I can't help it!" "You don't understand my mood!" Dad kicked the chair away, and the fallen chair hit the pot of the potted plant, making a loud cracking sound. "Do you know how I feel? Every day in the company, a group of people laugh and point at their backs, and are looked down upon by others! They say that my husband is always the last to know, and there is still a large inheritance to take, which is really enviable! You Listen to what this is saying! The whole world knows you're something from that Sawamura guy!" "What? Know what? What do those people know!" "If you think about it logically, who wouldn't know!" "What's that! Don't you believe what I say?" "I'm not stupid!" It's unbelievable what happened. "Dad... so you think so?" I managed to get a word out.Dad didn't even look at me, just looked away. "Because Mom is Mr. Sawamura's lover, he will leave the inheritance to Mom... Do you think so?" Dad didn't answer, just backed away, looking like he wouldn't want to touch Mom and me. "Yanan, that's common sense in society." Ma said in a low voice with her head bowed. "And your dad would rather trust that common sense." My legs were weak and I was almost paralyzed on the ground. I finally understand what lies beneath the constant skirmishes my parents have been having at home these past few days. So it turns out...it turns out that I am the only one who firmly believes in what Mom said about the past. "What if I don't take the money? It's all right, isn't it?" Pa laughed harshly again. "That doesn't change the fact that Sawamura left you the money. Whether you want to accept it or not, I'm a cuckold. The problem isn't the money at all." "Otherwise what do you want me to do..." "I've had enough," Dad said, slowly turning his back on us. "I can't bear it anymore. In the company, from the cleaning Asang to the work-students, this is what they talk about. I even brought that kind of magazine today..." So Dad saw the magazine too. "What did the director tell you?" Mom asked, her tone was no longer questioning, but exhausted. "What did he tell you in front of your subordinates?" In the long silence, there was only the sound of the TV.It was the baseball game I was watching before, the Giants vs. Yakult, and Sang Tian was the main caster. ——The current situation is one strike and two strikes.There were a lot of infield grounders in today's game.What style of play does Gu Ze choose?timely... Pa's voice drowned out the announcer. "He said that it is doubtful whether Ya Nan is my child..." Dad stopped talking here, as if I made some noise.But I don't remember exactly what I said. Ma slowly raised her hands to cover her face. "I asked that lawyer... Sawamura is also type A like me. Without a formal identification, there is no way to be sure..." "Don't say this in front of Ya Nan!" "Who is to blame for this?" This time I literally slumped on the ground. "I'm moving out," Pa whispered to the wall. "I'll leave here after packing up my things. It's better for you, anyway, your life is not a problem." "You're moving out...where?" Mom asked without raising her head, and Dad didn't answer, but just walked in shuffling staggeringly.He's really going to collect his luggage. "To that woman?" Ma asked, looking up.Although she didn't cry, in just a few minutes, her face became as haggard as if she hadn't slept all night. "As I said, I already knew about your affair." Pa stopped in the hallway and looked back, "That's a tie, isn't it?" Dad opened the door, walked into the room, and disappeared.Ten minutes later, he returned to the living room, carrying a black luggage bag that he would usually bring on business trips. And then really leave the house. "Sorry." I still remember Mom lying face down on the kitchen table, apologizing to me in a low voice. "I'm sorry, give Mom... a little more time. Mom thinks about it... and then explain it to you in a way you can understand." I quietly walked out of the house and went to the corridor outside, and saw Aunt Masaoka next door peeking out from the crack of the door. I stopped, my lips trembling, unable to say anything, but I still expected her to comfort me, but she hurriedly closed the door. When I regained my senses, I had already crossed the night road to the neighborhood of Shimazaki's house.I don't want to go in through the entrance, I don't want the uncles and aunts of the Shimazaki family to see my face, and I don't want the adults to see it.So I climbed over the wall and up the drying table, trying to get to his room on the second floor from there.I didn't think of his advice until I was on the third rung of the stairs.I fell heavily and landed on Yang Yangmi in Shimazaki's room, and landed next to his desk. Shimazaki sat on the swivel chair with a serious expression on his face. "Your dad exploded?" I nodded silently, tears welling up in my eyes for the first time.