Chapter 42 Section 40

It was already after ten o'clock when Mikami immersed himself in the bathtub. It turned out to be so late. What a long day. ...Catch Kakinuma and force him to tell the truth. ...Seeing Koda's current situation. ...Convincing Amamiya with a tear attack. ...to find Akama. ...Heard about Minako's past from Ruixi. ...Meet Nidu by chance, and break into Osakabe's house. ...Give the letter to Hiji to his mother. ... Minako asked him if something good happened. ...Mei Yun said he was cunning. Emotions are inextricably linked, and no one thing can hold his full attention.Everyone's expressions, words, and thoughts are all intertwined, restraining and canceling each other, and in the end they can only pull out a dazed tail.

The real purpose of the Chief's inspection... Amamiya's true heart... Erdu's behavior principle... Even thinking becomes weird.The lines between what we know and what we don't know become increasingly blurred.Fatigue dissolves in hot water.Whenever he closes his eyes, Duke Zhou always invites him to play chess. The wind was blowing. The frosted glass rattled.As long as Mitsu could remember, this house was very old. "It must be rebuilt!" said the father. "Let's get it someday!" Mother replied. The setting sun slanted in.Tatami mats tanned by the sun.Beer bottles and boxes from the pastry shop can be seen on the round low dining table.Father's comrade-in-arms came to the house, with short shaved hair and bronze-colored skin, walking with a swagger and a smile.Seeing myself, a light shines in my eyes.

Smile very heartily. Akama's daughter was looking at her.From behind a pillar, from inside a car, from any corner.From a corner of the classroom, from the stairs, and from the bench in the children's park, I secretly watched myself.Two people, three people, four people.The girls chattered maliciously and sniggered among themselves. Hey, don't you think I didn't even notice! Ayumi squatted on the ground, buried her face in her hands, as if she was playing a caged bird game.Surrounded by hundreds of sights from all directions.The surroundings were dark, except for the spotlight on Ayumi who was squatting.

Hello!Do you know what good things you have done? Akama says... Mikami doesn't understand.Obviously Akama also has a daughter, and she is still such a lovely daughter.Why take advantage of Ayumi's misfortune?Is he a devil?Was he going to turn his daughter into a devil too?Is it enough to just teach her how to love herself? ahh... As long as you do something good... Mikami slightly opened his eyes. The wind was blowing, and the frosted glass rattled.Although it has been remodeled in Mikami's generation, this window... You look a lot like your dad! The mother had a "right?" look on her smiling face.The father also showed yellow teeth slightly, and the expression on his face didn't know whether it should be a wry smile or a shy smile.

He remembered.His father's catchphrase caused his comrades to cry bitterly.When he went back, when he tied his shoelaces and stood up, his face was covered with tears when he turned around. Many companions must have died. Must have killed a lot of people. Since then, he has never seen his father's comrades-in-arms again.He stroked Mikami's head tenderly, as if he was touching his own son.Did the person who bought the chocolate and ice cream cake out of his own pocket get any good rewards in his later life? When did father learn that sentence?In fact, is there any reward?When he did good deeds, what did he get in return?Was it in childhood?On the battlefield?Or at the municipal cleaning center where he would spend his entire life?

Mikami didn't know anything about his father. My memory of my father is very vague.In my impression, he was always standing behind his mother.It is neither standing still like a mountain, nor leaving all the work of taking care of the children to the wife, but existing quietly, lest it will overshadow the outline of the mother.Even Mikami puts his father behind the silhouette of his mother.Whenever his mother was not at home, the space between father and son always made him feel uneasy. He didn't know how to get along with his taciturn father who always lowered his head and had angular faces, hands and fingers.He also has no memory of physical contact.It is clear that the father's genetics surpassed the mother's, but he never got along with his son in his life, and died in the year of 64.

Although Mikami devoured the cake, there was no smile on his face.When he secretly saw his father's comrade-in-arms crying in the hallway, he actually had a feeling of gloating. Because it's a boy!Mother didn't care.But when he first introduced Minako to his parents, his mother was even more embarrassed than his father.She blinked several times before she regained her composure and stared at Mikami.He remembers it well.It was the look a long, long time ago when a mother wondered if her son had slipped his change into his pocket.Did you do something wrong? Mikami smiled slightly.

Mom, you are going too far. By the way, he joined a nearby kendo classroom at the instigation of his mother.Compared with a son who is good at abacus or calligraphy, the mother hopes to raise her son to be an upright man.The practice is very rigorous.He might not have lasted that long if he hadn't had that blood-pumping feeling when he put on the mask.After wearing the mask, the field of vision becomes narrow, and I can only feel my own breath. It feels like hiding in a secret base made of cardboard boxes.Although I don't feel that I have the desire to transform, but subconsciously, I have been satisfied.The bridge of the nose is blocked by the longitudinal wires on the mask, and thirteen parallel wires divide the facial features into pieces.Except for the eyes peeking out of the small viewing hole, everything else is merged with the shadow.That cannot be called a face.At this time, there is no need for a face, everything depends on the imagination of the audience.When he had pimples all over his face and began to care about the eyes of the opposite sex, the place under that narrow and sweaty mask was more reassuring than any other place.

Because of his mother's expectations, because of this face, and because he learned the way of swordsman, he became a police officer on the extension line. Is it inevitable? Or by chance? Mikami wrung out the towel and wiped his face clean.There was a tactile sensation of wiping vigorously in the palm. Through kendo, he also learned etiquette and exercised his body.But what about the heart?What has the mind learned?And how was it trained?He has an ordinary sense of justice and an ordinary emulation.That's why I can hold my head high and hold my post in the police force, and put on the air of a criminal police officer.But……

There was a murmur in my ear.The detective becomes another mask. He got this new mask by chance, and was lucky enough to wear it for more than 20 years. What Osakabe meant may be that the profession of criminal police can become an invisible coir raincoat in life.Through the excess supply of novels, TV series or documentaries, everyone knows the hard work and sorrow of criminal police, and everyone knows that criminal police is not an easy job.So as long as the name of the criminal police is reported, the other party will activate his recognition button without authorization.I don't need to explain anything, it's quite easy.What's more, there will always be endless prey, so the criminal police can easily put all the hard work, troubles and sorrows in real life to the shelf.When he was in the jurisdiction, Matsuoka often encouraged his subordinates like this: Don’t complain, but enjoy yourself. The government not only lets us go hunting, but also pays us salaries...

Leaving aside rationality, criminal police do not actually have the instinct to hate crime.Some are just hunting instincts to apprehend criminals.Mikami is no exception.Target, hunt down, make a confession.Such repeated days made him lose his personal characteristics and gradually become a criminal police officer.No one resisted, rather everyone voluntarily took the initiative to dye the darker color.Hunting is no longer just for living, it is not only the only pleasure but also the most enjoyable pastime for those who want to stay on the ground. Koda should be asked.Ask him who has been deprived of the hunting authority and has become the hunted party, and his job is just to live with his wife, whether the work of the criminal police is hard. Mikami let out a long breath. After the hunt has been fully enjoyed, there is always a price to pay.If he had to take off his policeman's mask now, maybe his whole life would be in disarray.It would be fine if the exposed one is the true face, but the question is whether or not the real self still exists, that is the key point. The year of his "conviction" made him understand that criminal police work is actually a kind of anesthetic. Once he doesn't continue to take the drug, he has to face distorted fear and inferiority complex every day. Mikami nodded this time. The chief is coming in four days, and keeping calm is more important than anything else right now.In order to protect his family, he had to stand under the banner of the police camp.Although the detective's heart screamed, it was the evidence that he could still remain calm.You don't need to force yourself, even if emotion and reason pull each other, it doesn't matter, as long as you complete the task of the publicity officer well. Heart Lake suddenly set off waves. Hello!Is it okay to be happy like this? He didn't even know what the officer was going to say?What kind of consequences will the officer say? The face of the matchmaker flashed through my mind.If Osakabe can't do it, there is Odate.He is also one of the successive criminal ministers involved in the cover-up.Even without this relationship, he would still be a heavyweight retired minister second only to Osakabe.Regarding the inside story of the chief's inspection, he may have heard some rumors.Although he collapsed due to a stroke earlier this year, when Xia Tian sent Zhongyuan gifts to his home, he was working hard to recover.He expressed regret that Mikami was transferred to the Publicity Department with the corners of his mouth that became disorganized due to a stroke, and said that he would speak to Arakita on his behalf. If it was Mikami, Odate would have said... The waves in my heart suddenly calmed down, and the excitement was instantly cooled as if someone had poured cold water on it. Would this be too cruel?Tai Kwun has been retired for four years, how can he bear to open up his old wounds again?How bitter would it be if the scabbed wounds were torn open by the subordinates who loved him so much in the past and let him act as a matchmaker at the wedding?Do you still have to work hard knowing that?It is basically accelerating the deterioration of the other party's condition.Was he doing this to put pressure on his benefactor, who was desperately trying to get up and walk, so that he could step into the coffin early? If Er Du had said it, he would definitely ring the doorbell of Odate's house without hesitation! No, it might have already been pressed. If you are following in the footsteps of the ace of the police department, you don't need to explain the reason for your visit.Just look into Odate's eyes wordlessly.Until he said his "last words". Mikami shook his head. Staring blankly at the ceiling covered with water vapor, I just watched quietly for a while. How is Meiyun?Are you still on Amigo? ……cunning. ... Please don't use me as a stand-in. With what expression did she say these words? During the first half of the phone call with Meiyun, he felt unreasonably anxious all the time, thinking that she was able to say those words because she was a woman.The words he least wanted to hear came from the subordinate who least wanted to hear her say them. Although the shock and disappointment received are not trivial, it is a bit different from being hit.As if he found that the thing he had been looking for for a long time was in front of him, he was surprised and astonished at being defeated at the same time.Meiyun was always in front of Mikami.Although she doesn't talk much, Mikami knows that she sees all directions, hears all directions, and has a keen mind. However…… Because she is a woman.It wasn't until Meiyun said that he was cunning that he realized that he thought so.He didn't use her as a substitute, and he didn't intend to entrust the uncontaminated part of himself on her.He just wanted to protect her.A man who can't even protect his wife and daughter, if the limited time between his boss and his subordinates is only one or two years, he can definitely protect each other well.Meiyun was the one he chose. To put it bluntly, he was still a stand-in, and he was a criminal and vicious "Jiajiajiu", he was indeed very cunning. Amigo.laughter.The smell of alcohol... He thought that in order to strengthen his resistance, he should throw her into a pile of bacteria.Regardless of her enthusiasm for work, does Mei Yun know how innocent she is?Mikami began to worry.Where will this girl who categorically says she can do even the dirtiest thing go next? This spring, when Mikami mentioned the concept of "window", Meiyun still had a disapproving expression.She believes that only the police station is the window of the police.After a while, she confided in a dinner party.If the police officers in the police stations across the country can honestly contact the citizens, everyone's impression and evaluation of the police will naturally improve... So, as a member of the advertising room, what kind of window does Meiyun want to open? She actually thought it through!As long as one reporter is dealt with, "police justice" can be preached to millions or tens of millions of citizens.As long as more and more journalists are willing to show face to the police, even if there is no guarantee that police officers in police stations across the country will show a good service attitude, at least large-scale image packaging can be carried out.That's why she went to Amigo.To put it bluntly, this is probably the case! Surely Suwa would agree to her doing this without hesitation!Normally, he would use banquets and women when dealing with reporters, which coincides with the strategy of dominating the media that the upper echelon covets. "Window" is different.Not a strategy, not a journalistic countermeasure, but a daily habit.Based on worries about the nationalization of the police, I have to think every day whether there is an exit when the police and the media are in a dead end.That is to say, it is an open window of the heart that expects that the atmosphere inside and outside can merge with each other, and that something other than struggle can happen. He was a little worried.It's not that I'm worried about how Meiyun understands it, but that when I talked about "window" at the beginning, my mentality was actually very suspicious.Is that really what he said?I made up my mind to return to the criminal department in two years.In order to accept his fate and work in these two years, he needs a spiritual support.If those words were said to make excuses for himself, then what kind of window did he let Meiyun see? No... there are still. Regardless of his mentality at the beginning, he still thought about it countless times, and the broadcaster was indeed a very important existence. Until Ayumi ran away from home. He also thought about it after Ayumi ran away from home. "husband……" It was Minako's voice.Mikami thought he had accidentally fallen asleep and was at a loss. "Are you ok?" The voice came from the washstand.This bath took too long, which made Mina worry. "It's okay, I'm going out." He said so, but Mikami didn't leave the bathtub. There is no warmth in the body, nor does it feel like I have been in the bathroom for a long time to worry about.Ever since Ayumi ran away from home, whether it was taking a bath, going to the toilet, or washing her face and brushing her teeth, in short, all the usual steps in daily life were out of order.There were times when I brushed my teeth endlessly.Not thinking about Ayumi, just brushing her teeth non-stop.To escape, to not think about anything. He hadn't imagined what it would be like for Ayumi to die.Ayumi is still alive, so she must not be pessimistic.but…… After that it was blank. As long as Ayumi is alive, there must be somewhere.Or standing, or walking, or eating, or sleeping.But Ayumi couldn't picture Ayumi doing these things at all.Everyone is laughing at their ugly self and don't want anyone to see their face.He couldn't really imagine what it would be like for Ayumi to live somewhere other than home.Where does the money come from?Is there a place to sleep?The most common lifestyle of female high school students who run away from home is either to work part-time, or to associate with men or entertainment, but these things are difficult to connect with Ayumi.So what does she do for a living?Sleeping on the street?There's no way the antennas of 260,000 police officers can't fail to detect a young girl sleeping rough.Is that someone taking care of her?who's that person?Neither the parents nor the police were notified, saying that it was to protect a sixteen-year-old girl?This is a crime.Imprisoned?Is this the conclusion?Want him to accept this kind of imagination to spend every day? So don't even think about it, and don't give Mina any room for imagination.Ayumi is still alive and well.Stop every time you talk about it, and end the topic forcibly.Minazi never mentioned it, and every time he talked about it, it was the topic of the phone call.That's the only way it's acceptable.The figure of Ayumi holding the microphone in the public telephone booth is the only way the couple can imagine Ayumi outside. "Come back!" Mikami tried to say this sentence that he didn't know how many times he had said. It doesn't matter what happens outside, as long as Ayumi comes back, everything will be resolved in the future. "Come back soon!" Maybe tomorrow.Or the day after tomorrow?Or more distant future? For tomorrow... Isn't everyone like this?Waste today for tomorrow. Is it stupid?No such thing.What's wrong with sacrificing for tomorrow?It doesn't matter how dirty, nasty, and ugly you make today.As long as there is tomorrow, as long as tomorrow is better than today. you've changed. I haven't changed, not at all. You must support her well. I will, definitely not leaving her alone. Minako didn't hurt Ayumi, and Ayumi didn't mean to hurt Minako's heart. The congealed frost crumbled, drawing a long trail across the darkened window.The eyelids are so heavy, the sandman is very powerful this time. Where did the traffic safety amulet go? The darkness continued to expand. A pair of hands appeared in front of my eyes. Minako was wearing Bai Wugou, with a calm smile on her face, she stretched out her hands towards Mikami.

---

Notes: