Chapter 7 first quarter

The morning news at the end of the holidays reported the news of the suicide of a junior high school student. On the asphalt road in the parking lot next to a certain building in Chiba Prefecture, the bodies of two girls were piled up.Police believe they jumped together from the roof of the building next door. Breakfast times are different for everyone in my family.After entering junior high school, I had to participate in club practice early in the morning, so I originally had breakfast with my parents at seven o'clock, but now it was earlier than six o'clock.In order to prepare my breakfast, my mother got up earlier than me and ate breakfast earlier.

Mom brings toast and salad.Different kinds of honey are prepared on the table every day.Busy moms don't pay attention to the news on TV.A junior high school student who was the same age as her daughter committed suicide. To her, this kind of thing would only happen to strangers who had nothing to do with her.She didn't think her daughter would do such a thing. This makes me angry. I may also commit suicide by jumping off a building one day.The mother must think that her daughter is very ordinary, just like herself, an ordinary woman who cannot leave her hometown. The news continued.

No suicide notes were found on the roof or in the homes of the two deceased.The school teachers also said that there was no bullying or any troubles.The parking lot at the scene of the crime was a blank humanoid outline drawn in white chalk.I have heard that the corpses of people who committed suicide by jumping from buildings looked ugly.Do the two of them know?I've seen that image of a dead body many times in horror comics.I still remember the line next to it that read: —Is there no complete body? ——I found a part of the teeth, and I can barely confirm that it is the person involved.

Just imagining my classmates having a discussion like this gives me chills in my shoulders and neck.On the other hand, I also feel very sad. I wasted my life in vain.There are a lot of junior high school girls all over the world, just in Japan, and we among these people have not had the chance to become special people. But I have dreamed several times in my dreams.One day, an adult whom I respect came to the classroom suddenly, put his hand on my shoulder, and told me clearly: "You are special." Seeing this scene in the same classroom, Serika and Yuki were both stunned.I gently ignored their envious eyes, nodded to show that I knew it all along, and said: "Although everyone didn't see my potential, I myself knew it from a long time ago."

I'm anxious that I'm still not getting anywhere. I can't draw pictures that are called ghosts, and I can't write novels or poems, and I'm not very good at reading.However, adults who really understand me have already seen through all the connotations in my mind and realized that I am different from other people.I will achieve something in the future (as to what achievement is not clear), I am different from other people. The problem is, as long as that adult doesn't show up, if you want to be special, you have to devote your life to it.This is as much as we, who are empty-handed and without achievements, can do our best.

I don't think the two of them who jumped off the Chiba prefectural building are special. It can even be said that this is the best result that ordinary children can do their best. But, what a pity.To die without a suicide note or claim, without any dramatic effect, was a useless death. "Ann, what kind of honey do you want today?" Mom asked. Mom had bread and honey for the yogurt.There is acacia, lotus, and honey from Japanese fir.It feels like it's for fashion, but the place to buy it is the nearby supermarket.Just because the items there happen to be complete. "casual."

I opened the maltose-coloured bottle and put the honey stick in it.Thick honey is a bit firm to the touch.Because some of each kind of honey has been used, the cow bottles have hardened.I cringed at the sight of the white stuff accumulating at the bottom of the honey jar—again.I don't want to notice this situation.Behind the fashionable life and extravagant interests floats a careless real life.No matter how much mom longs for a movie or fairytale character to come up with fresh, forever soft honey, the result is nothing like a dog. I want to watch the seven o'clock news.The news at six o'clock was not complete enough, and it felt a bit half-baked.I want to watch it at seven o'clock, preferably on a non-governmental TV station. The news with a style similar to a variety show will talk more about the two of them.

But from one to seven o'clock, our family always watches NHK.This is Dad's habit.He always said: "Look, the anchors on this station seem to be smarter. Ann, you have to look up to them." The impolite and rough-headed father and mother are very right. There was a newspaper in front of Dad's chair, still awake.In my house, newspapers belong to Dad.Mom didn't read newspapers in the first place, and neither of them would have thought that their daughter would be related to newspapers.I would wait until the next day to cut the news from the newspaper.Old newspapers are all piled up in the pile in the corner of the house (patchwork containers that Mom made on her sewing machine).The newspaper from there is mine.

"I'm stuffed." After eating only half a slice of toast, I got up.Honey is also only drizzled a little. "Hey, did you leave the house ten minutes earlier than usual?" "Yeah." I don't want her to notice so precisely that I'm ten minutes early.It reminds me that my life will end in the same little house. Even if there is no suicide note, I can understand the reason why the two middle school students committed suicide. Probably because yesterday was the last day of the Golden Week holiday. I am very happy on vacation.They hate school.Just imagining that I have to go to the classroom to attend classes from today until Friday is unbearable.I understand their feelings very well.

It would be nice if they could leave a suicide note in a more dignified way.Is it okay to let school friends and class guides talk about themselves like the news reports now?If it were me, Celery, Bantu Nakamura, or Zuofang wouldn't be able to say anything about me at all.Just imagining them makes them unworthy. Who is it that proposes suicide?Did the two agree?Or did one of them have no such intentions before?If you want to take your friends on the road to Huangquan together, if you want your body to be torn apart so that you don’t even have a prototype, you also need the full cooperation of other actors.

They were found collapsed in the parking lot, that is, they were not found immediately after jumping off the building.No one saw them jump or heard them hit the ground, and they just lay there and were ignored.This practice is also unqualified.Wouldn't they have thought about choosing the best moment, the scene that would be the most suitable for a painting?How long had they been clinging to the asphalt? I imagine the blood on the asphalt as thick and congealed as honey this morning. The feeling of wanting to die after the holiday is over. Adults may say that you can take time off from school.But if it turns out to be a refusal to go to school, that's a different route from what I'm planning to take.There will be special treatment like touching a swollen wound, and whispering behind the scenes.This situation will only end up getting yourself into more troublesome dilemma.Besides, I think that if I choose to refuse to go to school, I will probably be satisfied halfway through the process. I will definitely not be like now, thinking about degrading and becoming "more special". I leave the house ten minutes early. "I went to school." Putting on tight elastic socks and a carmine sportswear, I left the house and stepped on the bicycle with a particularly heavy handle required by the school, which was often called "Nanzhong Special Model" by other schools. "Morning, Ann." The aunt from Asada's house next door greeted me, and she happened to come out to get a newspaper. "Good morning." I love our school uniforms, and the basketball team uniforms, but I hate tracksuits.The school originally stipulated that uniforms must be worn to and from school, but last year, students who participated in the morning practice of the club were specially allowed to wear sportswear to school.People are happy that it's so much easier, but I really don't want that.The track pants had a tacky cuffed cuff.The colors of the sportswear are divided into water blue, carmine red, and green according to the grades.Carmine in our grade said that "rouge" just sounds good, but it is actually the ugliest color. Other grades also said "fortunately we are not red bean color". Having said that, since the school allowed to wear sportswear to school, if you wear a uniform to school and then change, you will be regarded as a "weird" by the senior sister and Serika. I didn't want to be stared at by people in sportswear, so I lowered my head and rode my bicycle quickly past Aunt Asada, heading towards the river bank at a long distance.