Chapter 18 Chapter Sixteen I Had a Sister, Her Name was Rosie

I walked for a few more hours, cutting onto Smith Road to the entrance of Loyalty, the same route Kevin had taken Sunday night after accompanying Jackie back to her car.For a large part of the way, I could clearly see the rear window of the top floor of No. 16, which is the window through which Kevin fell headfirst, and I could glimpse the windows of the first floor from the top of the wall.After passing the 16th and walking to the end of the Loyalty, just turn around and you can see the front of the house. There is a street lamp on the road, which means that the people guarding the house can clearly see me coming, and the light makes the window glass become a hazy yellow. Even if the people in the house turn on the flashlight or make any movement, I will never see it.If the other party wants to call out to me, it must be very loud, and it is very likely that everyone in the land of loyalty can hear it.Kevin wasn't attracted to something glowing in the house, he was on a date.

I walked to Portobello, found a bench by the canal and sat for a long time, reading the autopsy report.This kid Stephen has a talent for summarizing.The report is nothing new, at most two photos are worth mentioning, but it can't be said that it was completely unexpected.Kevin is very healthy, at least from Cooper's point of view, as long as he avoids tall buildings, he will live a long life.The method of death says "Undetermined".Even if Cooper is careful with you, you know you're in big trouble. I went back to the Liberty Zone, walked around Capo Lane twice to find a good spot, and when it was 8:30 and everyone was busy eating dinner, watching TV or putting the children to bed, I jumped over the wall and jumped into the backyard of Doyer's house , and then walked to the backyard of Daly's house.

I need to figure out what the hell is going on between my dad and Matt Daly.It's not a good idea to just knock on the door to find a neighbor, and besides, if I have a choice, I'd rather go straight to Huanglong.I dare say Nora has always had a crush on me, although Jackie said she currently lives in Blanchardston or somewhere, but ordinary families (that is, families other than mine) usually get closer when there is adversity, I have After last Saturday, Nora must abandon her husband, let him and the child take care of each other, and return to her mother's house for a few days.

I jumped off the wall, and the gravel rustled under my feet. I leaned against the wall and hid in the shadows, but no one came out to look. My eyes are slowly getting used to the darkness.I've never been in this backyard, like I told Kevin, because I'm terrified of getting caught.Sure enough, it was Matt Daly's house.There are a lot of planks, the shrubs are neatly trimmed, the labels indicating the names of the flowers have been inserted in the flower beds to wait for the branches to sprout, and the toilets have been converted into strong small sheds.I spotted a lovely cast-iron bench in a dark corner, in just the right place, dried it off a bit, sat down and waited.

There was a light in the window on the first floor, and I saw a neat row of pine cabinets on the wall, which was the kitchen.Sure enough, after half an hour, Nora appeared.She was wearing a black jumper that was too big, and her hair was tied in a bun casually. Even from such a distance, one could see that her face was pale and tired.She poured a glass of tap water, leaned against the sink to sip, stared blankly at the window, and massaged the back of her neck with one hand.After a while, she raised her head suddenly, turned around and shouted something, then hurriedly washed the cup, threw it on the draining board, grabbed something from the cupboard, and left the kitchen.

I had no choice but to sit upright, unable to go anywhere, not even smoking, for fear of being seen by others.Until Nora Daly decided it was time to sleep.Matt Daly was the kind of guy who would chase a bum with a bat for the safety of the neighborhood.I could just sit still and feel like I hadn't in months. The place of loyalty is much quieter at night, the TV illuminates the walls of Doyer's house flickering, faint music floats gently from somewhere, and the sweet and longing singing of women echoes in the courtyard.Colorful Christmas lights and a fat Santa Claus flickered in window number seven, and a teenager from Sally Horne's family yelled, "No! I hate you!" and slammed the door.The aliens on the top floor of No. 5 (the yuppie couple) are putting the baby to bed: the father is holding the baby who just got out of the bath and is wearing door-colored pajamas, shaking him in the air, blowing on his stomach, and the mother laughing He bent over and spread out the quilt.Across the street, my mom and dad should be sitting in front of the TV like two dead people, each wondering what to think, trying to see if they can't talk to each other until they go to bed.

That night, the world was filled with horror.I usually like danger very much, and only nailing danger can make people extremely focused, but that day was different.I feel like the surface is undulating under my feet like a giant muscle, lifting everyone up into the air, allowing me to see once again who is the boss and who is the insignificant nobody in this game.An eerie vibration in the air reminds me that everything I believe in is unknown, that all ground rules are subject to change, and that the dealer always wins.I wouldn't be surprised if Number Seven suddenly caved in, crushing the Horn family and their Santa, and Number Five burst into flames, burning the yuppies and their children to ashes.

I thought of Holly, thinking of her in the ivory tower, trying to figure out how the world would go on without Uncle Kevin, and the cute kid Stephen in his brand new trench coat, trying not to bother me playing guide chess behind his back.I think of my mother, how she took my father's hand in church and bore him and believed it was good to do so.I thought of myself, Mandy, Imelda, and the Dalys sitting silently in a corner tonight, trying to figure out what twenty-two years had been without Rosie. Rosie first mentioned "England" to me when she was eighteen.That fire is Saturday night, spring, and we're at Gilligan's.Gilligan was a household name in our generation, and everyone could tell a story from the past, or borrow someone else's story if they didn't.Every middle-aged man in a suit and tie in Dublin will happily tell you how he ran away when the police raided the bar at three o'clock in the morning, or that he bought them drinks before U2 made their fortunes, or that he met him there. His wife was knocked out of his teeth while dancing wildly, and even died in the bathroom after taking drugs, only to be discovered after the weekend.

Part rat's nest, part fire-mortal lair, the place was stained black, windowless, and the walls were stenciled with portraits of Bob Marley, Che Guevara, and other popular figures.It's still open late at night though - sort of, because the owner doesn't have a liquor license, and there's only a choice of two sticky German beers late at night, both of which make you kind of sissy and drunk - with live music like Like a lottery, you never know what you're going to hear next.Today's kids avoid it, but we loved it back then. That night, Rosie and I went to hear a new glam rock group called Lipstick from Mars that she had heard and thought was great.There are other bands, anyway, what to listen to.We drank fine German liquor and danced slightly drunk.I love watching Rosie dance, see her twitch her hips, her hair flying, laughing

The corners of the mouth are curved into an arc.She always has a changeable expression when she dances, and she never looks demented like other girls. The feeling in the bar is getting better and better, the band is certainly not as good as Led Zeppelin, but the lyrics are sharp, the drummer is great, and the whole group exudes a desperate light.We risked everything, even if we didn't make it in this life, because at that moment, the only way to get rid of the fate of having no future, living on government subsidies, living in a suite and apartment, and waiting to die was to embrace music.This atmosphere makes the band different and gives them a little bit of magic.

The bass player breaks a string, proving he's not a joker.Taking advantage of the gap between string changes, Rosie and I went to the bar to buy drinks. "The drink was rotten," Rosie said to the bartender, fanning herself with her coat. "Yeah, I know, I guess it's made with cough syrup and it's ready to sell after a few weeks in a drafty cupboard." The bartender liked us both. "It's worse than usual. Your batch is very poor. Do you have any decent wine?" "But it's good enough, isn't it? Or just dump your boyfriend and take you to a better place when I close." I said, "Do you want to get punched by me now, or be punished by your girlfriend later?" The bartender's girlfriend had a cockscomb head and arms covered in tattoos, and we got on well with her too. "Then I'll choose you, because she's better than you." He winked at us, and went to find some change for me. Rosie said, "I have something to tell you." She looked serious, and I immediately forgot about the bartender and started counting dates like crazy. "Oh, what's the matter? Someone at Guinness is retiring next month. My dad said he'd lobby the factory whenever he got the chance. If I wanted to, the job would be mine." I breathed a sigh of relief. "Wow, so handsome." I said.It would be hard for me to be this happy in any other person, especially with Mr. Daly involved, but she's my Rosie. "It's great, I really have you." "I do not want to go." The bartender slipped me some change from under the bar, and I took it. "what why?" She shrugged. "I don't want what my father gave me, I'd rather get it myself, and anyway—" The drummer beat excitedly, and the orchestra started playing again, overriding the second half of Rosie's sentence.She smiled and pointed to the back of the bar, where it was usually so quiet that she could hear what she was thinking.I lead the way, leading her by the hand, pushing past a group of girls bouncing around in fingerless gloves and eyeshadow painted like raccoons.They were surrounded by a circle of guys who were not good at words, thinking that as long as they lingered long enough, they might be able to win a kiss from a beautiful woman. "Here," said Rosie, sitting down on the ledge of the bricked-up window. "They're not bad, I mean the guys on stage, right?" I said, "They're awesome." I walked around town every day that week, asking people for odd jobs, and getting almost nothing but laughter.The dirtiest restaurant in the world wanted a kitchen worker. I was hopeful that no normal person would do the job, but the manager turned me down as soon as he found out where I lived, with a vague hint that something had been dropped in the kitchen.Shay has been sneering every day for the past few months, saying that the top student in the family has read so many books that he can't even earn a breadwinner's salary, and that the bartender has just taken my last ten pound note.I don't care what kind of band it is, as long as the music is loud enough and fast enough to let my mind go blank, it's a good band. "Oh no, they're okay, not that great, and half of that is due to that." Rosie raised her glass and pointed to the ceiling.There were five or six lights in the Gilligan's Bar, most of which were tied with something like baling rope, and a man named Shane was in charge, and he threatened to beat anyone if he took a drink too close to the console. "What? You said lighting?" Shane didn't know how to make a silver flash that moved quickly, rendering the orchestra vulgar and violent. It seemed that someone would definitely step off the stage to settle accounts later. "That's right, Shane, he's great, he's the one who makes them tick. This group is all about atmosphere, take away the lights and costumes, and it's just four idiots." I laughed: "Which band is not like this." "Yeah, sort of, maybe," Rosie said, looking sideways at me over the rim of the glass, almost shyly, "Can I tell you something, Franco?" "Let's talk." I like Rosie's thoughts. If I can live in her heart, I will definitely be so new that I don't want to leave for the rest of my life. I walk around every day. "That's all I want to do." "You mean the lights? Help the orchestra turn on the lights?" "That's right. You know that music makes me a different person. I've wanted to be in this circle since I was a child." I know, everyone knows, the only place of loyalty is Rosie, a kid who spends his confirmation money to buy albums.But this was the first time she mentioned that she wanted to be a lighting controller. "I'm tone deaf and I know a little about creating, neither writing songs nor playing guitar, but I love this," she says, pointing her chin up to the lights that move back and forth. "really? Why?" "Because that guy makes the band better, simple as that. It doesn't matter if they play well or badly, even if there's only two or three kittens in the audience, and it doesn't matter if anyone notices him or not. The band is better than they were. If he's good enough, if he's good enough, he can make them a hundred times better every time. I like that feeling." The look in her eyes made me happy, and I reached out and smoothed her hair wildly tousled after the dance. "It's very nice, indeed." "And if it's done right, the result will be different. I like it. I've never had that experience. I'm in a textile factory and no one cares if I sew well or not. As long as I don't make mistakes, that's the only point. Guinness work is no exception. I want to have a skill, not only to do it well, but to make a difference." I said, "Looks like I'm going to have to let you slip backstage at the Getty Theater and play with switches." But Rosie didn't laugh. "God, yeah, you think about it. There's only some shitty stuff out there, and think about having real equipment, say, in a big bar, if you work for a good troupe on tour, and you're going to You can touch the same small equipment..." I said, "I don't want you to go on tour with a bunch of rock 'n' roll guys, who knows who you're going to mess with." "You can come together and manage the orchestra props." "I like this. Then I will build a body of muscles. Even the Rolling Stones will dare not touch my woman." I showed off the biceps on my arms. "Are you interested?" "Can I 'test' female fans?" "You bitch," Rosie said cheerfully, "no, unless I fuck a rock star first. Seriously, do you want to do it? I mean bandleader or something." She meant it, and she really wanted to know. "Think, I'll do it, without thinking about it. Sounds great, can travel, listen to good music, and not be bored... The problem is that I don't have the opportunity." "why?" "Hey, come on, how many bands in Dublin can afford a prop foreman? Do you think these guys would do?" I tip my head at Martian Lipstick, they don't even look like they have enough money for the bus ride back, let alone a helper up. "I bet their prop foreman is somebody's brother who stuffs the drums in the back of somebody's dad's van." Rosie nodded. "I think the lighting control is the same. There are only a few concerts a year, and there must only be experienced veterans. There are no courses to take, no place to practice, nothing, I checked." "I think so." "So, assuming you were really going to step out, and you wanted to do it anyway, where would you choose to start?" I shrugged and said, "It's not possible here. London would do it. Liverpool might do it. England anyway. Find a band you can afford and learn by doing and work your way up." "I think the same as you," Rosie took a sip of her wine, leaned back to watch the band's performance, and then said plainly, "then go to England." I thought I had heard wrong.I looked at her and she didn't blink, so I said, "Are you serious?" "Well, that's right." "Jesus," I said, "really? Are you kidding me?" "Indeed, why not?" Rosie's words seemed to explode a whole pyrotechnic factory inside of me.The drummer slammed into the rhythm of the end of the song, like a series of gorgeous explosions that shook my bones and dazzled me.I said (that's all I could manage to get out): "Your dad is going to be pissed." "Sure, so what? He'll be pissed off when he finds out we're still together anyway? But at least we don't have to be here to hear him freak out. That's another reason to go to England. The sky is high and the emperor is far away." "Of course," I said, "yes, God, what are we going to... we don't have money, and we need money to buy tickets, and a place to live, and... God." Rosie was dangling one leg and looking at me intently, with a big smile on her face. "I know, you fool, I'm not saying go tonight. We've got to save." "That will take months." "Do you have a better idea?" Maybe it's because of the wine, I feel like the bar is cracking, the walls are colorful, colors I haven't seen before, and the floor vibrates up and down with my heartbeat.The band came to a fancy ending, the lead singer tore the microphone off his forehead, the audience went crazy, and I clapped along.The bar fell silent, and everyone (including the band members) moved towards the bar.I said, "You're serious, right?" "I've been telling you that all along." "Rosie," I put down my glass and leaned in front of her, knee to knee, "did you think about it before? Think about it at all?" She took another swig of her drink and said, "Of course, I've been thinking about it for months." "I don't know at all. You didn't say anything." "I'll say for sure, and now I'm sure." "why?" She said: "Because of the work of Guinness, this is what made me make up my mind. As long as I stay here, my dad will do everything possible to get me in, and sooner or later I will give up insisting and go his way. Because he That's right, you know, Franco, this is a great opportunity, and a lot of people are desperate to get in. Once in, I can't get out." I said, "Once we leave, we can't come back, neither you nor me." "I know, but that's the point. Otherwise, how are we going to be together—to be together? I don't know what you think, I don't want my dad to follow me all day in the next ten years, not letting go Take any chance to break our necks until we finally find out that we are happy. I hope me and you get off to a good start: doing what we want, as two of us, without you or my family interfering in our lives ,just you and me." The light changed, and it was as misty as the deep sea.A girl's voice came from behind me, low, hoarse and thick.Under the slowly turning golden and green lights, Rosie seems to have become a mermaid, like an illusion woven by light and trembling colors.I suddenly wanted to grab her, hold her tightly in my arms, and prevent her from disappearing into my hands.She takes my breath away. At our age, girls are still more mature than boys, and boys can only become men by fulfilling girls' desires.I knew from a young age that I wanted more than teachers’ judgments on us, factories and unemployment benefits lines, but it never occurred to me that I could actually leave and build everything I wanted. I have known for a long time that there is no cure for my family. Every time I gritted my teeth and walked in the door, a small piece of my heart was shot to pieces, but no matter how angry and angry I was, I never thought that I could Just walk away.Only now, when Rosie needs me to keep up with her, does it dawn on me. I said, "Let's go." "God, Franco, slow down! I didn't ask you to make up your mind tonight, I just asked you to think about it." "I've already thought about it." "But," said Rosie after a moment's pause, "your family, can you go?" We never talked about my family, she must know a little, the whole Loyalty knows a little, but it was never mentioned, not once.I'm very grateful.She stared at me intently. That night, I swapped with Shay to get out.The price of the exchange is not small, the whole weekend of next week.When I went out, my mother was scolding Gu Qi, saying that she was so bad that my father couldn't bear it, so he would go to the bar.I said, "You're my family now." The smile came back from a far corner, hidden in Rosie's eyes.She said: "Of course, I will be your family wherever you go. If you can't go, then I will be your family here." "No, not here, you're absolutely right, so we have to go." That beautiful big smile slowly returned to Rosie's face again.She said, "What are you going to do with your life?" I slid my hands down her thighs to her soft buttocks, pulling her closer on the ledge.She hooked her legs around my waist and kissed me, the sweat from drinking and dancing made her lips sweet and salty.Our lips were close to each other, and I felt that she still had a smile on her face, until the music played again and we kissed more intensely, and the smile didn't fade away. The only person who did not become a mother, in the darkness, Imeda’s voice appeared in my ears, with the hoarseness of ten thousand cigarettes and endless sadness.escaped people.Imelda and I have been liars since we were kids, born liars, but her love for Rosie is not false, and I am not lying when I say she is Rosie's closest friend.Imeda (God bless) understands her. The peaceful night light accompanied the yuppie baby to sleep, and his mother slowly got up and slipped out of the room.From Sally, Santa at the Horn's, the TV at the Doyers, to the crooked beer-label neon in the Dorms, the lights in Loyalty began to go out one by one.It was dark on the 9th, and Mandy and Gale slept together early, maybe because he had to get up early to work, helping the businessman fry bananas.My feet began to freeze, and the moon hung low over the roof, looking yellow and dirty through the clouds. At eleven o'clock, a black dot (Matt Daly's head) came into the kitchen.He looked around carefully, and after making sure that the refrigerator was closed, he turned off the lights and left.A minute later the light in the back room on the attic came on and it was Nora.She untied the hair tie with one hand, covered her mouth with the other and yawned, shook her head to shake her hair, and stretched out her hand to pull the curtains. I picked up a small rock and threw it at her window before she changed into her pajamas and was inconvenient to call Dad to deal with the intruder.I heard a sharp click, but nothing happened.Nora evidently thought it was the sound of birds, or the wind, or the quiet of the house.I threw another rock, harder this time. The lights in the room were turned off, and the curtains shook and opened slightly.I shone the flashlight on my face, waved upwards, gave her a moment to see who I was, and put a finger to my lips, beckoning her to come down. Soon the lights came on again, and Nora pulled back the curtains and waved to me, but I didn't know whether it meant "go away" or "wait a minute."I beckoned again, more eagerly, and smiled reassuringly, hoping that the light from the flashlight wouldn't make me look as evil as Jack Nixon.Nora scratched her hair and looked pained, then (as resourceful as her sister really was) leaned over to the window sill and breathed on the glass, wrote "wait" with her finger, and remembered to reverse left and right to make it easier for me to read, which is good I gave her two thumbs up, turned off the flashlight and waited quietly. I didn't know what the bedtime routine was at the Dalys, but it wasn't until nearly midnight that I heard the back door open and Nora tiptoe into the backyard.She was wearing a jumper and skirt and a long wool coat, and she was out of breath with one hand on her chest. "God, that door—I pulled it hard to open it, and it bounced back and hit me. It sounded like a car crash, did you hear that? I almost passed out—" I grinned and moved a little out of the way on the bench. "I didn't hear anything. You're a natural thief. Sit down." She stood still, regulating her breathing while rolling her eyeballs to look at me cautiously. "I can only stay for a while, I just come out to see... I don't know, to see how you are, if you're okay." "I feel better seeing you, but you're having a heart attack." Her horns twitched and she couldn't hide her smile. "I am. I almost had an attack. I feel that my father will appear at any time... It seems that I have returned to the age of sixteen and sneaked up the drain pipe." The backyard on a winter night was dark and glowing with blue light. Nora looked about sixteen years old with a clean face and hair hanging down casually.I said, "So that's how you spent your youth? What a little rebel." "Me? My God, how is it possible? As long as there is my dad, it is impossible. I am a good girl, and I have never encountered any excitement. I only heard from my friends." "In this case," I said, "you are qualified to play a big game, and make up for the old share while it is still possible." I took out a pack of cigarettes, flipped off the lid, and lit one for her neatly. "Is it cancer?" Nora looked suspiciously. "I don't smoke." "Then you'd better not start smoking. Not tonight, though. You're sixteen and a little rebel tonight. I wish you'd picked up a bottle of cheap cider by the way." After a while, I saw the corners of her mouth rise again. "Why not." She said and sat down beside me, and took the cigarette. "You are an amazing woman!" I leaned over to light her cigarette and smiled into her eyes.She was pumping so hard that she couldn't help coughing.I fanned her, and the two of them giggled in a low voice, pointing to the tiles of the house to remind them not to make a sound, and they laughed even harder. "Oh, my God," Nora said after finally regaining her normal breathing and wiping her eyes, "I really can't learn." "Just take a small breath," I said, "don't swallow it. Don't forget you're a teenager now, and it's not about nicotine, it's about looking cool. Look at me as an expert," James Dean He sat listlessly on the bench, stuffed a cigarette in the corner of his mouth, raised his chin after lighting it, and took a long puff of the cigarette. "Like this, see?" Nora giggled again. "You look like a gangster." "That's what it is. But if you like something a little classier, like a star, I can show you that too. Sit up straight first," she complied. "Cross your legs, okay, close your chin, look at me sideways, purse your mouth, and then..." She inhaled lightly, waved her wrist gracefully, and blew smoke into the sky. "Beautiful," I said, "you're the coolest kid in Loyalty now, congratulations." Nora laughed and did it again. "Right? I really am." "That's right, like a duck seeing water, I already knew that you had a bad girl hidden in your heart." After a while she said, "You and Rosie have been dating here before?" "No, I'm too afraid of your father." She nodded, watching the flame of the cigarette butt. "I thought of you tonight." "Really? Why?" "Rosie, and Kevin. Isn't that what you're here for?" "Well," I answered cautiously, "more or less. I think if anyone knew about the past few days..." "I miss her, Franco, very much." "I know, baby, me too." "It didn't occur to me at all...before, I would miss her occasionally, like when I had a baby and she wasn't there, or when Mum or Dad pissed me off and I wanted to call Rosie and complain. Other than that, I hardly think about her, not so much anymore. I have other things to think about. Yet when we learned of her death, I couldn't stop crying." "I'm not one to cry," I said, "but I know how you feel." Nora flicked the cigarette ash, and carefully pointed in the direction that Dad would not find tomorrow morning.She said in a voiceless voice of pain: "My husband doesn't know, can't understand why I'm upset. I haven't seen her in twenty years, and now it breaks my heart... He wants me to calm down, so as not to scare the baby." .My mom is on sedatives, and my dad thinks I should take care of her because she lost a daughter...I think about you all the time, and I think you're the only one who doesn't think I'm stupid." I said, "I've only seen Kevin for a few hours in the last twenty-two years, and it still hurts. I don't think you're stupid at all." "I don't feel like I used to be anymore, do you know what I mean? Growing up, every time someone asked me if I had brothers and sisters, I always said: Yes, yes, I have a sister. Now I have to Say, no, it's just me. Like I'm the only kid in the family." "You can still tell people you have a sister." Nora shook her head so violently that her hair flew across her face. "No, I can't lie. The worst thing is this, I've been lying and I don't know it. I told people that I have a sister. It was wrong. I was the only child." I thought of Rosie, and how she insisted on not pretending we were married that day at O'Neill's bar: No, I don't want to pretend, it's not what other people think... I said softly, "I'm not asking you to lie, I'm just saying She doesn't have to disappear. You could say I had a sister once, Rosie, who died." Nora's body suddenly trembled violently.I said, "Are you cold?" She shook her head and put out the cigarette on a stone. "I'm fine, thank you." "Here, give it to me." I took the cigarette butt and put it in the cigarette box and said, "A powerful rebellious girl will not leave evidence for my father to find out." "It doesn't matter. I don't know what I'm nervous about, and he can't ground me. I'm grown up, and I can leave this room whenever I want." Nora stopped looking at me.I'm about to lose her, and she'll soon remember that she's a good woman of thirty, with a husband and kids and good taste, and she's out of step with sitting in the backyard with a stranger and smoking a cigarette. "That's the parental curse," I said, with a mocking smile, "if you spend two minutes with them, you'll instantly turn back into a child. My mom still scares me, doesn't lie to you, even Ready to beat me with a wooden spoon, she doesn't care if I'm a grown-up or not." After a while Nora smiled, but a little forcedly. "I think Dad probably grounded me." "Then you yell back and ask him not to treat you like a child, as if you were sixteen years old. As I said just now, this is a parental curse." This time she really laughed, and the body sitting on the bench relaxed again, "One day we will treat our own children like this." I don't want her to think of her own children. "Speaking of your father," I said, "I'm sorry my dad was the way he was the other day." Nora shrugged. "You can't slap a hand." "Did you see how they were arguing?" Jackie and I missed the show.The first second was normal, and the next second saw the two of them put on "Rocky", ready to fight. Nora tugged on her jacket so that the thick collar hugged her throat tightly."I didn't see that either," she said. "But you know where they're at, right?" "You also know what a man's virtue is after a few cups of yellow soup. Besides, the two of them have been uncomfortable for the past few days... A little thing can piss them off." I said in an irritable and sad tone, "Nora, it took me half an hour to calm my dad down. If this goes on, I think he's going to have a heart attack sooner or later. I don't know if it's my fault they're fighting each other." , Is it because my relationship with Rosie made your dad unhappy. Whether it is or not, I at least want to find out and do something to prevent my dad from losing his life." "God, Franco, don't say that! It's not your fault!" Her eyes widened, her fingers pinched my arm.It succeeded, and the self-blame and blame in the sentence just now blended just right. "It's really not your fault. The two of them just don't get along, long before I was a kid, before you and Rosie started dating, my dad was right..." She suddenly fell silent as if touching coals, and let go of my arm.I said, "He never had a good word for Jimmy McKee, that's what you want to say?" Nora said, "It wasn't your fault the night before, that's all I'm going to say." "Damn it, so whose fault is it? I'm confused, Nora, I'm so confused, and no one will help. Rosie's gone, Kevin's gone, Loyalty Half the population thinks I'm a murderer. I feel like I'm going crazy. I've come to you because I think you're the only one who understands how I feel and where I am. I beg you, Nora, tell me what's going on." I know how to kill two birds with one stone.Although I say this for cliche, it doesn't mean I'm being hypocritical.It was almost dark, and Nora looked at me with big, round eyes and a troubled face.She said, "I don't see why the two of them are arguing, Franco, but if you asked me to guess, it's your father talking to my mother." I see.In just a blink of an eye, as if the gears were stuck in place, my mind immediately burst into countless threads, spinning on the spinning wheel of childhood memories, weaving a clear pattern.I've thought of a thousand explanations, each more exaggerated than the other, with wider implications (Matt Daly leaked my dad's shady errand, who stole whose last potato during feudal times and famine times), but completely ignored The reason why men are most prone to conflict is also the most vicious one: women.I said, "They had the same girlfriend." I saw Nora blink her eyelashes hastily in embarrassment. It was too dark to see, but I dare say she must have blushed. "I think so, yes. No one told me to my face, but... I'm almost sure." "when?" "Well, it's been a long time, before they got married—not in love, but in children." I know better than most people that this kind of thing will never be let go. "What about the factory?" I thought Nora was going to start describing outrageous atrocities, even stranglers, but all she said was, "I don't know, Franco, I really don't know. I said it, no one ever mentioned it to me, I I pieced it together bit by bit.” I bent down on the gravel and put out the cigarette, and put it in the cigarette case. "Well," I said, "you must think me stupid because I didn't expect this to happen." "Why... I thought you didn't care." "You mean, why should I care what happened here if I have been too lazy to come back for more than 20 years?" She looked at me still confused and worried.月亮出来了，后院在冷冷的微光下显得淳朴而不真实，有如对称的郊区地狱外缘。我说：“诺拉，告诉我，你觉得我是杀人凶手吗？” 我发现自己好想听见她说“不”，我吓坏了，我明白自己应该起身就走。我已经问出她能告诉我的一切，多留一秒只会坏事。诺拉只是淡淡说了一句：“不，我完全不觉得。” 我心里一绞，说：“很多人认为我是。” 她摇摇头说：“有一回，我那时还很小，五六岁吧，我带了莎莉·荷恩家的一只猫到街上玩，几个大小孩把它抢走了，想要耍我。他们将猫丢来丢去，我拼命尖叫……结果你出现了，让他们住手，把猫还给我，要我带猫回荷恩家。你一定忘了。” “我记得，真的，”我说。她眼中无言的哀求：她需要我们共同享有一段回忆，这是我唯一能满足她的，即使这个渴望是那么微不足道。 “我当然记得。” “会做这件事的人，我看不出来他会伤人，至少不会刻意伤人。也许是我自己蠢。” 我心里又是一绞，这回更痛。 “你不蠢，”我说，“你很窝心，最窝心了。” 微光下，诺拉仿佛小女孩，状似幽魂，又像令人屏息的黑白萝西从老电影或梦里飘回人间。我知道自己只要一碰她，她就会消失，瞬间变回诺拉，再也不回头。她唇边的微笑几乎将我的心从心房剜出来。 我只用指尖轻触她的头发。她呼吸急促，热气暖暧拂过我手腕。 “你去哪里了？”我贴着她嘴边轻声说，“这些年来，你都到哪里去了？” 我们像两个走失的孩子紧紧依偎，既渴望又急切。我双手依然牢记她臀部柔软火辣的曲线，那美妙的轮廓从我心底的幽谷浮现，我还以为它早已消失不见。我不晓得她在寻找谁。她用力吻我，吻得我尝到一丝血腥。她带着香草味。我记得萝西身上是柠檬水果糖、阳光和工厂清除衣物污溃的挥发溶剂味。我手指深深嵌进诺拉玲珑的曲线，感觉她的双乳抵着我胸膛震动，让我以为她在哭泣。 是她将我推开。她满脸胀红，气喘吁吁地拉下套头衫说：“我得进屋里了。” 我说：“留下来。”同时伸手又抓住她。 我发誓，她真的想过留下。接着她摇摇头，手腕挣脱我的双手说：“你今晚来找我，我很开心。” 萝西就会留下，我差点脱口而出。要是我真觉得有那么一点机会，我一定会说。但我只是坐回长椅深呼吸一口气，感觉心跳缓缓变慢。我翻过诺拉的手，亲吻她的掌心。 “我也是，”我说，“谢谢你出来见我。快回去吧，免得你让我发狂，祝你好梦。” 诺拉披头散发，亲吻让她的双唇饱满圆嫩。她说：“回家平安，弗朗科。”接着便起身穿越后院，拉紧外套。 她溜进屋里将门关上，一次也没有回头。我坐在长椅上，看她的身影在卧室窗帘后的灯光下移动，直到我双膝不再颤抖才起身离开，翻墙回家。