Chapter 15 Chapter Thirteen The Only Warmth

I drove to Dai Qi, the night was very dark, the streets were dark and eerily quiet, and everyone was sleeping peacefully under the high-quality quilts. I parked the car under a very elegant tree and sat for a while, looking up at the window of Holly's bedroom, remembering that I used to come home from get off work late at night, park the car in the driveway, and quietly turn the door lock, Olivia Ya would put things on the bar: creative sandwiches, little notes, Holly's drawings from the day.I would sit at the bar and eat a sandwich, look at the pictures by the light from the kitchen window, and listen to the sounds of the silence: the hum of the refrigerator, the breeze blowing through the eaves, the soft breathing of the two women I loved.

Then, I would write little notes to Holly, train her to read (Hadoo, Holly, you draw a great tiger! Can you draw me a bear today? Love you, Dad.), and before going to bed, give A goodnight kiss to her.Holly likes to sleep on her stomach, the bigger the better, and Lil (at least back then) likes to curl up, and there's always room for me.When I climbed into bed, she would murmur softly, leaning her back against me, groping for my palm, asking me to cuddle her to sleep. I'll call Olivia's cell phone first so as not to wake Holly up.I called three times and it cut to voicemail, so I called home instead.

The first time the phone rang, Olivia answered, "What are you doing, Franco?" I said, "My brother is dead." silence. "My brother Kevin was found this morning." Soon, her bedside lamp came on. "God, Franco, I'm so sorry. What the hell...how did he..." "I'm outside your house," I said, "can you let me in?" Again there was silence. "I don't know where to go, Lil." A gasp, but not a sigh. "Wait for me." She hung up the phone, and the figure moved behind the bedroom curtains, her arms stretched into her sleeves, and her hands combed her hair.

She answered the door, wearing an old white dressing gown, with a blue woolen nightgown peeking out underneath, to show that at least I hadn't dragged her out of Demer's warm embrace.She pressed her fingers to her lips, trying to pull me hastily into the kitchen without touching me. "what happened?" "There's an abandoned house at the end of our street, that's where they found Rosie's body," Olivia pulled up a high chair, clasped her hands on the bar, and was about to listen to me, but I couldn't sit still and was scurrying up and down the kitchen, not knowing how to stop.

"They found Kevin there in the morning, dead in the backyard. He fell out of a top floor window with a broken neck." I saw Olivia move her throat and swallowed.I hadn't seen her with her hair disheveled in four years—she only let it down when she was sleeping—and my sense of reality was being punched hard again. "He's only thirty-six, Lil, and has half a dozen girlfriends, because he hasn't settled down yet and wants to see the Great Barrier Reef." "My God, Franco. Could it be... how the hell..." "He fell or jumped or was pushed, take your pick. I don't even know why he went to that room, let alone how he got out. I don't know what to do, Lil, I do not know what to do."

"Is there anything you need to do? Is there no one investigating?" I laughed. "Oh, how is it possible? Of course, the serious crimes unit is handling it - but it doesn't mean that it's a homicide case, but because of the connection with Rosie: the same location, and the time limit. Now it's the King Kennedy's case." Olivia's face collapsed a little more.She knew the king of football and didn't like him very much. When I was with him, she didn't like me very much either.She asked politely, "Are you satisfied?" "Tch, I don't know. I thought at first, well, at least it's not the worst. I know that Ball King guy is a big asshole, Lil, but he's a stickler for a case, and we need that. Rosie's case It's been too long, it's almost moldy, and nine out of ten detectives in the major crimes team will immediately throw it in the cellar, so fast that it will make you dizzy, so that they can take on the case they think is promising. The ball king will not It’s a good thing to do, I think.”

"But now..." "Now...that guy is a stupid cow, Li'er, ten times more stupid than he thinks he is, and he will hold on to any clues, even if he makes a mistake. Now..." I have to stop walking.I leaned back against the sink, covered my face with my hands, and took a deep breath through my fingers with my mouth wide open.The environmentally friendly light bulbs came into play, illuminating the kitchen brightly, humming in a low voice, and feeling aggressive. "Lier, they will say that Kevin killed Rosie. I saw the expression on the king's face, he didn't say it clearly, but he just thought so. They would say that Kai killed Rosie, and later found out that we were almost there He died and decided to end his life."

Olivia put her fingertips on her mouth and said, "God, why? Could it be that they...what made them think...why?" "Rosie left a note, half of it should be said, and the other half appeared on Kevin. It may be written by the person who pushed Kevin out of the window, but the king doesn't think so. He thinks the situation is obvious. Once Two clean cases, mission accomplished, no interrogation, no search tickets or a trial or anything like that. Why make it so complicated?" I pushed myself off the sink and started walking up and down again go. "He is in the serious crime team. The people there are all super mentally retarded. They can only see the straight line in front of them. As long as they deviate slightly, even just once, they will be at a loss. Let them enter the undercover team, and it will take a long time. their lives."

Olivia straightened a lock of dark blonde hair, watching it curl and tighten."I think the straightforward explanation is often the right answer," she said. "Yeah, yes, that's fine, I think so. But this time, Lil, this time it's dead wrong. This time the most straightforward explanation is the funniest answer." Olivia was silent for a moment.I wondered if she had figured out who was the most direct explanation before Kevin leaped like a swan.Then, she said cautiously: "You haven't seen Kevin for a long time, you're really 100% sure..." "Yeah yeah, I'm pretty sure. I've been with him these days and he's the same Kevin I knew when I was a kid. He's got a lot better haircut, he's grown taller, but it's still the same guy, there's no way to get it wrong , I know all the important things about him. He is not a murderer, and he will not commit suicide."

"Have you told the ball king?" "Of course it was, but it felt like talking to a wall. That wasn't what he wanted to hear, so he didn't listen." "Do you want to talk to his superiors? Will he listen?" "No, please, absolutely not, looking for superiors is the worst way. The king of the ball has warned me not to interfere, saying that he will stare at me and never let me touch the case. If I leapfrog, let myself get stuck, especially If his precious rate of solving crimes is ruined, he will only insist on his own opinion. So, what should I do, Lier, what should I do?"

Olivia looked at me, her gray, brooding eyes full of hidden corners.She said softly, "Maybe it's best for you to stay out of it, Franco, for now. Nothing they say can hurt Kevin now, as soon as the dust settles—" "No, there's no way. I'm not going to stand by and watch them take the blame on him because a dead man can't talk back. He might not be able to fight back, but I'm gonna fucking stand up." The little voice said, "Daddy?" We were taken aback.Holly was standing by the door, in one of her too-big Montana pajamas, clutching the doorknob, her toes curled up in the cold tiles. Olivia said in a hurry: "Little boy, go back to sleep. Mom and Dad are just chatting." "You said someone died, who died?" Oh my God. "It's all right, baby," I said, "it's someone I know." Olivia walked up to her. "It's midnight now, go to bed, we'll talk to you tomorrow morning." She wanted Holly to turn around and walk back up the stairs, but Holly grabbed the doorknob and put both feet into the kitchen. "No! Dad, who's dead?" "Go to bed, go now, things can be tomorrow—" "No! I need to know!" Sooner or later I had to explain to her that luckily she already had a little idea of ​​death (thanks to that goldfish and hamster, thank goodness. "Auntie Guqi and I have a younger brother," I said—revealing one family member at a time, "there used to be, because he passed away this morning." Holly stared at me. "Brother?" she said, her voice shrill and trembling, "is that my uncle?" "Yes, honey, your uncle." "which one?" "Not the one you know. Those are your mom's brothers, I'm talking about Uncle Kevin. You haven't met him, but I think you'll like each other." Holly's flaming eyes suddenly widened, but then her face collapsed, and she raised her head and let out a heart-rending scream: "Don't—don't, Mommy, don't, Mommy, don't..." The scream turned into a heart-wrenching scream. Weeping heartbrokenly, she buried her face in Olivia's arms.Olivia knelt on the ground, put her arms around Holly, and whispered comfortingly. I asked, "Why is she crying?" I'm really at a loss, and the past few days have made my head almost sluggish.Olivia looked up at me hastily, with secret and guilt in her eyes, and I realized that there must be something strange. "Lil," I said, "why is she crying?" "I'll talk about it later. Shh, baby, it's okay..." "It's strange! It's not all right!" The kid was right. "Yes, now, why is she crying?" Holly lifted her tear-soaked face from her mother's shoulders and screamed, "Uncle Kevin! He made me play Super Marley Bros. and took Aunt Jackie and me to a fairy tale show!" She wanted to go on, but was interrupted by another wave of tears.I sat heavily on the high chair, and Olivia avoided my gaze, shaking Holly slightly, and stroking her head.I wish someone could do this to me, preferably with a bust and enough hair to wrap around my body. Later, Holly was tired from crying and began to choke and tremble. When Lier gently took her upstairs to sleep, her eyes could no longer be opened.While the two were upstairs, I took a bottle of Chianti red wine from the wine rack—Olivia stopped keeping beer after I left—and opened it.Then I sat on the high chair with my eyes closed, leaning my head against the kitchen wall, listening to Olivia upstairs comforting Holly, and wondering if I'd ever been this angry. "So," I said happily, as Olivia went downstairs to the kitchen.She's already taken the opportunity to change into a kissing mom outfit, crisp jeans, a malt-colored Kashmir sweater and a smug look.I said, "I think someone owes me an explanation, what do you think?" She glanced at my wine glass and raised her eyebrows slightly. "And a glass of wine, obviously." "Oh, wrong wrong, it's a lot of cups, and I'm just getting started." "I think you should know that even if you're too drunk to drive, you can't sleep at my house." "Lil," I said, "normally I'd be happy to argue with you, but tonight, I thought I'd warn you, I'm going to hang on to what I want to know. How the hell did Holly know Kevin?" ?” Olivia started to scratch her hair, and twirled the rubber band a few times to skillfully tie it into a ponytail.She obviously intends to pretend to be cool and calm to the end. "I think Jackie can introduce them to Holly." "Oh, trust me, I'm going to talk to Jackie. I can understand that you're naive and think this idea is a good idea, but Jackie has no excuses. Are you just introducing Kevin, or all the goddamned idiots? I said just Kevin, Lil, please." Olivia folded her arms, her back flat against the kitchen wall.This is her fighting stance, I've seen it too many times. "Her grandparents, uncles and aunts, and cousins." Shay, my mother, my father.I've never hit a woman, but I didn't realize it until I noticed my hands gripping the edge of the rouge high chair. "Jackie takes her out for tea on weekend nights. She's just seeing her family, Franco, no big deal." "You can't meet my family, you are doing your life, you have to bring a flame gun and full body armor. How many times did Holly go to meet my family?" Shrug slightly. "I haven't counted. Twelve, fifteen? Maybe twenty?" "How long ago did it start?" She blinked her eyelashes apologetically: "It's been almost a year." I said, "You let my daughter lie to me for a year." "We told her—" "For a year, every weekend, for a whole year. Every time I ask Holly how her week is going, she keeps giving me nonsense answers." "We told her we needed to keep it a secret for a while, because you had a fight with your family, and that was it. We were going to—" "You can say that you are keeping secrets, or you can say that you are lying. You can say whatever you fucking like. My family is the best at this kind of thing, and they are all natural masters. I hope that Holly will stay away from them as much as possible. I hope she To beat genetics and grow up to be an honest, healthy, undistorted human being. Do you think that's too much, Olivia? Do you really think I'm asking too much?" "Franco, you're going to wake her up again, unless—" "In the end, you threw her back into your clutches. Hey, accident, accident, by the time you realize it, she's already turned into a fucking Mackey family. Lying is as natural as ducks swimming. You are so proud Encouraging her, it sucks, Lil, it sucks. It's the worst, cheapest, worst thing I've ever heard." At least she knew how to blush. "We were going to tell you, Franco. We figured that if you found it so good—" I laughed out loud, making Olivia flinch. "My God, Li'er! You actually called this a result? Did I hear you wrong? As far as I know, things have turned out like this, which is far from the so-called result." "Come on, Franco, how did we know Kevin would—" "You know that I don't want her to get close to them, that alone is enough, what else do you need to know?" Olivia lowered her head and tightened her chin, exactly like Holly.I reached for my drink and caught her eyes flashing, but she didn't speak, so I poured a full glass and spilled a good amount on the beautiful flagstone bar. "Or did you do it on purpose because you knew I was against it? Are you really that mad at me? Say, Lil, I can take it, let's open the skylight. Do you like to fool me? Do you Laughing? You really threw Holly to those super crazy people just to annoy me?" That last sentence made her straighten up. "You dare to say it again and try. You know very well that I will never do anything to hurt Holly, never." "Then why, Lil? Why? What's wrong with you that you think it's a good idea?" Olivia inhaled lightly through her nose, and regained her composure, obviously coming prepared.She calmly replied, "They're her family too, Franco. She kept asking me why the other students had two grandmothers and she didn't, and did you and Jackie have any other siblings and why not. Let her meet them One one one" "Fart, I remember she only asked me about this once, from childhood to now." "Yeah, that's because your reaction told her not to ask again. She came to me, Franco, and Jackie, because she wanted to know." "Fuck, who cares what she wants? She's nine years old, come on. She wants a lion cub too, and a diet meal made of pizza and red M&M's, don't you want her too? We're hers Parents, Li'er, should give her good things instead of following her wishes." "Shh, Franco, did it affect her that much? About your family, you just said you didn't want to be in touch with them again, and you didn't say they were a bunch of ax killers. Jackie was great, always treated Holly Well, she said the rest of the family was very well—” "So you believe what she says? Jackie lives in her own world, Lil, and she thinks Geoffrey. Dahmer just didn't find a good girl, so he's going to be a murderer. When are we going to let her decide how?" Are you raising a child?" Lier still wanted to refute, but I kept talking hard, and finally she decided to give up, with a stern face. "I feel sick, Lil, I really want to throw up. I thought I could trust you on this at least. You always think my family is not good enough for you, how can you think they are worthy of Holly ?” Olivia is finally on fire. "When did I say that, Franco? When?" I look at her.Olivia's face turned pale with anger, she pressed the door panel tightly with both hands, breathing heavily. "If you don't think your family is good enough, if you feel ashamed of them, that's your problem, not mine, don't blame me. I never said that, never thought that, not once." She turned and pulled the door open, closing it with a sneeze.If it wasn't for Holly, this level would definitely shake the whole house. I sat for a while longer, staring at the kitchen door like an idiot, feeling my brain cells collide like bumper cars.Then I grabbed the bottle and went to Olivia with another glass. She was on a rattan sofa in the conservatory, with her feet tucked under her body and her hands tucked deep into her sleeves.She didn't look up, but when I handed the cup to her, she immediately reached out to take it.I poured myself and her each a large glass of wine, enough to drown a small animal, and sat down beside her. The rain continued, patiently, non-stop, thumping against the glass.The cold wind poured into the gap, spreading like smoke in the room.It's been so long since the divorce, but I found that I still silently reminded myself in my heart to find out the gaps and make up for them.Olivia sipped vodka, and I watched her reflection in the window, seeing her eyes obscured by shadows, gazing at something only she could see.After a long while, I said, "Why didn't you say anything?" She didn't look back. "Say what?" "All, but start with one thing, why don't you ever tell me you don't mind my family?" She shrugged and said, "You seem to mind talking about them, and I don't feel the need to mention them. Why should I mind someone I've never met?" "Lil," I said, "do me a favor. Don't be stupid, I've had enough. You're in Desperate Housewives world—like a greenhouse, please. The 'greenhouse' where I grew up No, my family is more like "Children of Angels." Your family drinks Italian red wine in the greenhouse, and my family lives in tenements and rides the bus on unemployment benefits." Her lips moved slightly, almost imperceptibly. "Franco, I knew you were from a blue-collar family the first time I heard you speak, and you didn't hide it, but I still dated you." "Yes, Lady Chatterley loves rough people." The bitterness in my tone scared me, and it scared her too.Olivia turned to look at me, the glimmer of light from the kitchen slid across her face, the light and shadow were long and narrow, sad and beautiful, like a holy card.She said, "You don't think so, do you?" "No," I said after a pause, "probably not." "I want you, it's as simple as that." "You'd have to exclude my family for it to be that simple. You might want me, but you wouldn't want my Uncle Bertie, who likes to fart louder than anyone else. You wouldn't want Aunt Concepta either. , she told everyone she met on the bus behind a group of hippies and how shocking her hairstyle was. And my cousin Natalie, who gave her 7-year-old son his first communion in a recliner. I can see why Not going to give the neighbors a heart attack, mild palpitations at best, but we all know everyone else is going to go crazy over Dad's golf clubs and Mom's brunch, definitely a You Tube hit." Olivia said, "I don't want to refute this, or say I didn't think of it," she silently swirled her glass, and was quiet for a while, "Yeah, I also thought it might be easier for you not to contact them at first. It's not Meaning they're bad, it's just... easier. But after Holly was born... she changed the way I see things, Franco, everything. I want her to have family, and they're her family, it's better than their Any quirks matter." I leaned back on the couch and poured another glass of wine, trying to make room in my head to absorb her answer.I shouldn't be surprised, at least not to this extent.From the time we met, dated, and got married until now, Olivia has always been a huge mystery to me, especially when I thought I knew her best. When we met, she was a prosecutor planning to prosecute a petty drug dealer nicknamed Ruffian.The ruffian was caught during a Narcotics raid, but I wanted to let him go because I'd been trying to get along with him for the past six weeks and felt he had a lot of "potential" to tap into. I visited Olivia myself, trying to convince her face to face.We argued for an hour and I sat at her desk wasting her time and making her laugh.Later, when it was late, I invited her to dinner, so I could continue to argue comfortably.In the end, the ruffian got a few more months of freedom, and I got a second date. She is so different, bright clothes, meticulous eye shadow, impeccable manner, sharp as a razor, legs that can't take your eyes off, strong and resolute personality, anyone can feel her aggressiveness.Marriage and children are the least things she cares about, but I think they are indispensable elements of a good relationship. However, I was just getting out of a relationship at the time—seventh or eighth, I forget—and it was fun at first, but after a year, when both she and I realized I had no intention of going any further, the relationship started to stank.Logically speaking, Lil and I should do the same, but I didn't expect that we got married in church, with the same courtesy, had a wedding reception at the Country House Hotel, owned a house in Dyche, and gave birth to Holly . "I don't regret it for a second," I said. "What about you?" She pondered for a moment, not sure if she was trying to figure out my intention or how to answer.Then she said, "Well, me too." She had her hands in her lap, and I reached out and pressed hers.The Kashmiri sweater is very soft and old, but I still remember the look of her hand, which is as familiar as my own.After a while, I went to the living room and came back with a shawl and put it on her shoulders. Olivia didn't look at me. She said, "She really wants to know your family, Franco. They are her family too. Family is important and she deserves to know." "I am also qualified to express my opinion. I am still her father." "I know. I should tell you, at least respect your wishes, but..." She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the sofa and shaking her head, the half-bright light made the shadows under her eye sockets look like bruises. "I know we'll have a big fight if we mention it, and I'm really powerless, so..." "My family is terminally ill, Lil," I said, "in so many ways, and I don't want Holly to be like them." "Holly is a healthy, happy little girl, as you should know. It doesn't do any harm, she loves seeing them. It's... nobody expected it to be." I thought wearily, really?To be honest, I've always thought someone in the family would end badly sooner or later, but I wouldn't bet on Kevin.I said: "I've been thinking about asking her what to do before. She always chirps like a bird without panicking at all. Either she and Sarah are in-line rollerblading, or they are doing volcano models in nature class. I have never I suspect that she has something to hide from me. It hurts when I think about it, Lier, and it hurts when I really think about it." Olivia turned to look at me. "It's not as bad as you think, Franco, really. She doesn't think it's a lie to you. I told her she had to wait a while to tell you because you had a big fight with your family. She said, 'Just Like I did with Chloe, I don't want to think about her all week or I'll cry.' She's more considerate than you think." "I don't need her to take care of me, not in my life. I hope to take care of her forever." A trace of displeasure flashed across Olivia's face, with a touch of sentimentality.She said: "You know, Holly is growing up, she's going to puberty in a few years, things will change." "I know," I said, "I know." I thought of Holly lying asleep on the bed on the second floor with two tears on her face, and the night when Olivia and I created her: Lil Victory Laughing softly, hair tangling around my fingers, and the smell of clear summer sweat on her shoulders. After a few minutes, Olivia said, "She's going to want to talk about it tomorrow morning, we'd better be together. If you want to sleep in the guest room..." "Thanks," I said, "that's great." She got up and shook off the shawl, folded it and hung it on her forearm. "The bed is already made." I tilt the glass slightly. "I want to finish the drink, thank you for this glass." "Several cups should be enough." There was an old smile in her words, which made people feel sad. "Thank you too." She walked to the back of the sofa and stopped, pressing her fingertips on my shoulder so lightly that I hardly noticed it."I'm very sorry about Kevin's death," she said. I heard myself speak, with a slightly hoarse voice: "He is my younger brother, no matter how he falls, I should catch him." Lier held her breath and seemed anxious to say something, but in the end she just sighed.She called my name softly, as if to herself: "Oh, Franco." Her fingers slipped away from my shoulders, taking away the warmth and leaving cold dots behind.I heard the door close quietly behind her.