Chapter 32 Chapter Thirty-Two

Transcript of interview: Marie Fontaine, April 22, 2009 Ma Fang: Am I afraid of falling in love with a man officially accused of being a murderer?Not afraid at all.He goes far beyond your judgment.After all, the authorities wanted to kill him too, didn't they?Moreover, not face to face, but separated by a distance.At least he did it himself--I mean, if he did kill someone.To me, this is the most erotic act.Death and sex are linked.The line is thin, but the vast majority of people are too scared to admit it.Sex takes us to the edge of the abyss, orgasm pushes us into the abyss.It was like tasting death.Having sex with a murderer doesn't scare me, it turns me on.

H.B: Really? Ma Fang: Really.Are you shocked? H.B.: Not really. Ma Fang: I want to fuck him. Ha Bu: Good. Ma Fong: Fuck the ass. Ha Bu: Good. Ma Fong: I mean fuck his asshole. H.B.: I see.What if he asks you to help kill someone?Help him lure someone into a trap, or hold that person down, would you rather? Ma Fang: Of course, I am willing to do anything. Ha Bu: Would you kill yourself? Ma Fang: Yes, of course. Ha Boo: Kill anyone?friend?family? Ma Fang: Of course.what differences are there?These are just abstract concepts.He is the only real family I have.He is friend, brother, lover.As Nietzsche said, we construct our own morality.That's why you can't understand me and him.We are beyond your moral bounds.Social value.Consumerism.My so-called family would just sit there watching TV, obeying the law, chewing the slop that was fed to them like livestock.You might as well think about it carefully, who is the prisoner?Think again about Iraq.If I see through all this clearly, then I am free, even if they lock me up.Do you understand me?He is free.Because he released himself in consciousness.Job, house, school, family, this shit town in this shit state.I loathe it.You have to wake up from a horrible nightmare, and then there is no reality.Everything is allowed.Do as you please, that's all my law.

H.B.: Crowley. Ma Fang: Yes, you read it? H.B.: Of course, many years ago.When I was your age.Be in your teens.Are you studying? Ma Fang: No, I'm already twenty-two. Ha Bu: Do you have a job? Ma Fang: Office work.Not a secretary. H.B: You like Crowley? Ma Fang: I often read his books. Ha Bu: Do you worship Satan? Ma Fang: Maybe, maybe not. Ha Bu: What about children?Would you kill a child with your own hands if Dalyan ordered it? Ma Fang: Let me explain in a language you can understand, and you will understand how depraved I am.Want to know my ultimate fantasy? H.B. Of course.

Ma Fang: I want to see him kill, disembowel and fuck me in a pool of blood. H.B: Really?Are you really going to do this? Ma Fang: It can arouse my sexual desire.Blood, sweat, like a sacrificial test.ritualized.I get excited just thinking about it.I can show you if you want.I do not care. Ha Bu: Very well, I believe you. Ma Fang: Come on, lift up my skirt and see, just do it.I don't fucking care what other people think. H.B: Actually I have to go... Ma Fang: See?Look, I don't care.