Chapter 10 Chapter 10 Overwhelmed

In the end, Uncle "Lu" finally managed to appease grandma.Despite this, grandma still stubbornly declared that "if you don't see Ming, you won't go back to Chiba."That big luggage shows her determination. Gen and Bangzi returned home silently.Gen wanted to go straight back to his room, but Bangzi sat down on a chair in the dining room and said to Gen: "Wan, can you talk to mom?" Bangzi looked tired and his cheeks were thin.Maybe it's because he was holding his head just now, his hair is disheveled.Heng sat opposite his mother and felt uncomfortable.Ah, it's sick.Mom is seriously ill and needs to be called to the doctor quickly.

"I'm sorry," Bangzi whispered, "I'm sorry for making you so sad, Mom." Gen lowered his head and did not speak.That was the usual seat, and Bangzi also sat in the usual seat, and Ming's seat was vacant.This is a habit for many years.There is no need to say so now, because that's how one sits. If you only look at the way of sitting, it is no different from before.Just a Sunday to play golf or go on a business trip tomorrow.Exactly the same.I thought to myself, this chair of my father, I or my mother, or whoever, from now on, can sit down as a matter of course without saying hello or depending on the situation?

"Uncle 'Lu' said, it's not my mother or me that's bad," Gen said, "it's my father and——the woman who's with my father now." Like Heng, Bangzi lowered his head and frowned slightly. "Yes, woman," she murmured. "Is that so?" Bangzi raised his head and smiled slightly: "You heard what grandma said just now. It's useless to hide it from you now." "Oh." "What's going on, do you understand?" "I can understand." Gen then used Uncle "Lu"'s comment just now, and replied: "These are all the TV shows."

"A TV series?" Bangzi sighed, "That's right. Mom thought that this kind of thing only happened in TV series. Discuss life issues and perform a simulation of reality. I never dreamed that it would happen to me." She muttered as if talking to herself. "I've always thought that the matter has nothing to do with me. I thought that those who have come to this point are those whose families are not serious, don't think hard, and can't handle everything well. It has nothing to do with me. It seems that it is because I don't take it seriously. punished."

He should have said "it's not like that", but Gen remained silent, because even he himself felt like his mother. Everything that comes out of my mouth is a question. "What shall we do? How will Daddy come back?" "have no idea." Bangzi immediately gave a brief answer.It seems that psychological words are revealed inadvertently.The subject of this sentence is "I".However, she immediately cheered up and continued speaking without the subject "mother". "But, you don't have to think about those things. You don't have to worry about it. Uncle said it too, it's not because you are bad, right? Mom thinks so too. Because it's a problem between Dad and Mom."

Inherited from my father's head, conceiving the reasons for "I don't agree".If it is indeed a problem of "Ming and Kuniko", then it has nothing to do with Wat, but if it is a problem of "father and mother", without Wat itself, it cannot be established, so it is impossible to solve the problem without Wat.The subject is different, Mom. However, what can I do if I respond to my mother like this at this time? "My father told me that even if I divorce my mother, as Heng's father, I will not change." "That was—Friday night, when you came back with Uncle Lou?"

"Oh." "Dad told you that?" Tears welled up in Bangzi's eyes. "Why didn't you tell Mom right away? You didn't say a word. You just said that Dad said he was going away for a while and wasn't coming home, didn't he?" He did tell such a lie. "Sorry." "Why do you apologize? You don't have to apologize." Bangzi put his elbows on the table and covered his face with his hands. "If you apologize, Mom won't know what to do. It's too much." Mother fell on the table, made a sound like a painful moan, and began to cry.I'm sorry, Gen murmured.Tears flowed out, and my eyes were blurred.No matter how you wipe it off, things will still look blurry.

"You made a mistake, Wat, I'm sorry." Bangzi buried his face and cried. "It's not you, it's Dad. That's right. He justified you like that, saying that Dad is still Dad and won't change, so it doesn't matter. It makes you unable to fight back and let you swallow this matter alone." , and then walked away." Suddenly, Uncle "Lu"'s voice echoed: Ming was like that in the past, he thought about everything by himself and only spoke conclusions. Yes, Dad is that kind of person.Think about problems methodically, and once you reach the right conclusion, follow through no matter what.At that time, my father would not give in no matter what kind of opposition he encountered.Wasn't it like that when you bought this apartment?

correct conclusion.For Akira Sangu, the correct conclusion is to abandon Kuniko and Gen and run away from home.So he put it into practice.However, the process by which Dad came to the conclusion that was "right" for Dad was completely unknown to me.Should I check to see if there is a calculation error? So far everything has been entrusted to Dad.Dad can do no wrong, always thought so.But this time he was wrong.This time, this matter was wrong.Someone had to tell Dad.You have to do the math for him. "What did Dad say to Mom?" Regarding Heng's question, Bangzi raised his face and shook his head.Tears flowed down my cheeks.

"You don't know those things!" "I would like to know." He tried his best to express what he was thinking at the moment.Bangzi stared at Gen with tears in his eyes, and smiled very sadly. "Although there is such a good child like you." "Mother--" "It's okay. You don't have to worry anymore, it's okay!" Bangzi nodded exaggeratedly, "Mom has to act. Like you said, Mom has to find out Dad's calculation error and tell him. Then Dad will come back. So, Wataru is going on a business trip as if my father is on a business trip. It really is like that. Dad has a difficult job and has to work hard for a while. So, it's a business trip. Okay?"

I had to obey my mother's words.Even though it was the same thing in this way, could Wataru only do this? "You are such a good child, Mom won't just sit back and watch Dad leave forever." Bangzi announced, "Mom, please work hard!" After this one and only conversation, my mother didn't say anything to Gen anymore.She goes to see Chiba's grandma or Uncle "Lu".Long conversations on the phone, calls to Odawara's natal family, etc., she kept silent about the current situation and what they talked about. Dad was on a business trip, that's all.He knew it was a lie, but he wanted to make Heng believe it. Gen felt too uncomfortable, so he quietly went to ask Uncle "Lu".But Uncle "Lu" is also very different from the beginning. "What did your mother tell you? Just do what your mother said and live in peace and tranquility." What's going on here. "In half a month, it will be summer vacation, right? In August, come here, right? Uncle is waiting for you, finish your homework well." It must be his mother who told him not to say anything to himself.This point can be guessed, so I will never give up. "What is grandma doing? Has grandma seen daddy?" "Grandma is busy in the store. So there is no need to think about unnecessary things." "Why is it superfluous! It's my business!" Gen couldn't help being very angry, and after retorting back, his uncle's tone suddenly softened. "Don't say that kind of thing, it's embarrassing for your uncle." "I didn't want to embarrass you, but..." "You're still a child, so there's no need to worry about grown-ups. There's nothing wrong with you. So, you have no responsibility to do anything. Your mother begged your uncle too. She told me to tell you that you don't have to worry about anything. So, I'm sorry." OK, okay?" strangeness. Uncle "Lu" shouldn't be this kind of person.It's not like Uncle at all to put what my mother said in absolute priority compared to what I said. So far - oh, had to go straight to Dad. That kind of thing can't be kept a secret from Mom.Can't do that.Always thought so.But my mother was doing something in a place where she couldn't see or hear without authorization, and dealt with something.It's not fair. In this case, I can also find my own ideas and act! Entering July, there are fewer gloomy rainy days, and the sunshine is much stronger all of a sudden.On the weather forecast on TV, the forecaster wearing glasses pointed at the weather map and reminded with a smile that because the temperature fluctuates greatly, it is easy to catch a cold, and we should also pay attention to the heavy rainstorm at the end of the rainy season. Summer vacation is just around the corner.Everyone can't sit still.Even the classroom of the cram school is full of countdown atmosphere.Five, four, three, two, one, wow, it's a holiday!In fact, even during the summer vacation—no, it’s because it’s the summer vacation—the cram school’s teaching plan is rich and colorful. If everyone goes to the class, it’s almost like there is no vacation. Even so, everyone is still excited.Having to study and school holidays are two completely different things.And for kids, it's the latter, not the former, that matters. Only Gen was among the classmates, but his mind was far away from any emotional things.From the outside, I can't feel any changes.Because it is not a period of comprehensive testing of learning levels, it will not attract the attention of the teacher because of the drop in grades. The only exception, of course, is Ake.Can't hide it from his eyes. "Sangu, are you very unhappy recently?" That was exactly a week after the Sunday when Granny tanked and went on a rampage.Gen came to Komura's house to play, and the two stayed in Ake's room.It was a four-and-a-half room with a large closet and a view of the drying yard opposite the window.The drying things are fluttering, which is quite spectacular. Wataru looked away from the video game screen and looked at Ake's face.Ake was holding a large cup of "Cappiz Soda" in one hand, and frowned slightly, as if he was a little embarrassed. Gen's large cup has not been touched, and it is "sweating" on the tray.These mugs are for tallows (shochu) or draft beer sold in the shop downstairs, and they're just big.After drinking it all, it seems that he has more than one hiccup. As expected, Ake, who drank half of the cup, opened his mouth to speak, and said "Ai--". Gen smiled.Ake laughed too.The TV screen was full of fighting game scenes. When the two laughed so hard that the remote control fell to the ground, the character under Gen's command was beaten helplessly by the computer. "Recently, you seem to be angry all the time." Ake said. Gen was secretly surprised: Do I really look like that?Of course there was anger, but he didn't realize it when it appeared on his face. This week, Heng made various efforts to try to get in touch with Ming.All in all, a phone call will do.However, this matter is as difficult as landing on the moon.It's unbelievable, but that's the way society is constructed. Ming has a cell phone, but Gen doesn't know his cell phone number.Because in his life so far, there was absolutely no need for Wataru to know.That Friday night, when Ming picked up his handbag and left, he said, "I have my cell phone with me, so you can call me."So as long as you know the number, you don't know it. Of course, Bangzi would not say.Since then, Mom has tried desperately to keep Won shut up in the way of "when Dad is on a business trip"-of course, she is confident that she is doing it for Won. Gen thought that there should be something written down, so he looked through the email address book and phone book, but there was nothing in it.Will it be recorded in the quick reference number of the home phone?He secretly found out the telephone manual and tried to find it, but he didn't write it down.Maybe Bangzi had foreseen this step and disappeared.Oh, very possible. In this case, let's start with the company.However, until now, Wataru realized that although he knew the name of the company, he knew nothing else.He didn't know whether it was in the head office, a branch office, or a sales office. Even so, Gen still called the head office, branch office, and after-sales service center listed in the phone book.This way, there are other barriers blocking the way.The big company that San Guming belongs to, if you call the representative number in the phone book or check 104, and just say "please call San Guming", it will not be connected for you so simply.They will definitely be asked about the department and department they belong to, and some will ask "Did you call from home" or "Son, is there anything important?"When I couldn't answer, the ambiguous statement was immediately suspected. Sometimes I was reprimanded "It's not good to be mischievous", and sometimes I was said "Is your mother talking to your father about something urgent? If so, give the microphone to my mother".If you falter, the effect is just the opposite. I'm really Akira Mitani's son, just trying to talk to Dad. Gen slowly told Ake about these things, and a series of things from the beginning to the present.He no longer speaks and tears, nor is he excited.That mood seemed to be really suffering from no countermeasures, so I squatted down to rest when I was tired. Ake stared round his usually rolling eyes, and listened without saying a word.When Heng's narration came to an end, when he reached out to take the big cup, Ake stared blankly and murmured: "It's incredible." A burst of unexplained impulse surged up, and he laughed paroxysmally and a little indulgently. "Cough, it's terrible." "I know people whose parents are divorced." "Oh, I know too. Miyahara is. There are also cram schools." "Are we talking about the same person? Tanaka from class two?" "No, no. A girl surnamed Sato, from another school." "Someone's father died because of a traffic accident." Ake looked serious, "I never thought that this kind of thing had anything to do with me." Gen is also like this. "However, Sangu, you still—want to talk to Uncle?" "Otherwise, wouldn't you be kept in the dark? It's hard." "Oh……" Ake took a peek at the empty big cup, and "ah" again.But this time he didn't smile, he had a serious expression. "However, it might be okay for Auntie to handle it." "Then my dad will come back?" "Oh. I think so. They're married." "Did you hear this statement?" "I said it in the store. My parents seem to have a way of persuading couples to quarrel. Many people come to them." "Do customers come and tell them this kind of thing?" "Yes, that's right." "You mean, there are many examples: Even if there are women out there, as long as you keep patient, you will come back? There is no guarantee, Ake." That kind of thing is not for everyone.Ake was embarrassed and had nothing to say. "I don't want to go on like this," Gen said.It was a stubborn tone, of course, he didn't realize it. "Santu, you have a good brain. So, you don't like awkward things." Ake said, "If it's enough to call your dad, then I might have a solution." Because he spoke so lightly, it took several seconds before he jumped up. "real?" "Oh, really. It's on the list." "List?" On Disaster Prevention Day last year, eight nearby neighborhood committees jointly conducted disaster prevention drills.Gen still remembers that Xiaocun's father was busy as an executive committee member. "At that time, an emergency contact book was made for a neighborhood committee. Although Uncle Mitani was not an executive member, he served as an emergency contact member in the event of an earthquake or fire, so the company address and phone number were listed on the list. I have seen it." Gen pounced on Ake: "Show me that list!" In less than three minutes, Ake found the list.It's a stack of copy paper stapled together with a cover.However, the content is very substantial. "Santani Akira——has it!" Even the name of the department and department of the workplace and the direct telephone number are clearly written. "Can I use the following phone number?" "Yes, but you can't call today. Today is Sunday, the company is closed." Oh, that's right. "Come over after school tomorrow, and I'll call for you." "you?" "Oh. I pretended to be a part-time student, and said that a customer, Mr. Mitani, left something in the store and called his uncle to answer the phone. I often do this kind of thing. Otherwise, what do they call you? Come and listen, annoying Very much." "Really. You're really good." Ake smiled "hehe": "I always bother you to teach me to do my homework, so just leave this kind of thing to me." He proudly declared again: "Also, if I knew it was you calling from the beginning, uncle might not answer it, right?" Ake glanced at Gen's expression, and immediately stopped. "Sorry, I talk nonsense when I get excited." Gen shook his head.His heart broke, but he shook his head stiffly. "No. You're right." "I was talking nonsense. I—" "No, you're right. My dad tried to run away when I wasn't around." There is a good chance that Dad will avoid talking directly with Wataru.Ake is sharp. But Ake muttered "I'm sorry", listless. "It's okay, don't worry about it. Let's play games." Ake hesitated to pick up the remote control.Even so, the atmosphere remained dull.Wataru also felt his cheeks trembling, and couldn't say anything to cover up. "Come on," Ake suddenly changed his tone, "Sangu, are you with Lu Chuan in the cram school? Have you heard about him?" Ake resolutely changed the subject, and Gen responded enthusiastically. "What did you say? Did that kid take pictures of monsters again?" "Huh, you don't know? That kid, he didn't grow up in the United States at all. I heard that one of his uncles worked in a computer company and was transferred to the United States. A place I haven't heard much about, not in New York or something like that." Ashikawa just stayed with that uncle for about a year before he transferred to another school. And the place where he was born is said to be in Kawasaki City." "That's right." But that's all. "However, that kid's English is pretty good, right?" "Oh. But, after staying in the United States for a while, it is only natural that he is better than us." With Lu Chuan as a person, he would not brag about himself.I lived in the United States, and when it was passed around among my classmates, it was naturally magnified as "grow up abroad".And the fact that things have been corrected now is evidence that Lu Chuan and everyone have become familiar and close.It is he himself who is doing this kind of correction of misinformation. "However, since he is living with his uncle, the kid also——something happened at home." Gen suddenly thought of this.At present, he pays attention to every aspect of everything.Ashi Chuan is a weird person, and he can be a little scary from time to time. The reason lies in his family, right? "Santu, don't you and Lu Chuan not get along much?" "No relationship." Gen said immediately, "I've talked to him several times, but that kid is very weird, putting on airs." The details of the previous conversation at the shrine—although I remember being scolded by Ashikawa, I almost don't remember the content. It seems that when the memory of "Phantom World" disappeared from Gen's body, the surrounding related memories also became weaker.It doesn't matter whether it's a mage, or a door, or Ashikawa who rushed inside.Not only that, but the interest and attention to Ashikawa also dropped sharply.Ashikawa's threat to "do not approach the ghost building" has been left behind. If someone pays close attention to recent actions and experiences—by the way, just like the readers of this book at this moment—immediately You will be aware of this, and you can tell Heng: "You are very strange." But in reality, there is no such condition, so Heng doesn't care. "Maybe he's a tough guy." Ake gripped the remote control tightly. "It's said that no one has ever been to his house to play." Wataru also picked up the remote control of the duo player. "It's not that popular, is it?" "It is said that he and Miyahara are very close. But Miyahara has never been to his house." "Ake, who did you hear this from?" "Sakuma said it. That kid, he has a good relationship with the girls in our class." "You braggart Sakuma." "He walks around Luchuan all day long, and people ignore him, so he just asks around." "This kind of person is called a 'stalker,' right?" "How about Ishioka and his gang? Are you still pestering him about 'spiritual photos'? Hey, didn't it happen before? In the library, Ashioka was surrounded by Ishioka and the others." Gen's memory is a bit confused, by the way, I remembered the scene in the library on that rainy day.Pushing away Ishioka and his group, he calmly opened the window and stared straight at Wataru Ashikawa's pupils. ——At that time, how did that kid drive Shioka and the others away? Questions emerged quietly, as if the mud at the bottom of the water was stirred up by the oars.Until now, Heng didn't pay attention to this question at all.Because this is also related to the "Phantom World", it is also one of the memories that have disappeared from Wataru, but Wataru himself does not understand this. This kind of thing is quietly retreating from the heart, disappearing, silently, and unknown.Because real life isn't like that. The "fantasy world" is gone. "Hey, I can make a perfect aerial combo from the Red Lotus Trihalberd Kick, want to see it?" Ake smiled. "Want to see. Really?" "Really. That's—hey!" While the two were playing games, it was getting dark. After school the next day, Heng didn't go home, and went directly to his home with Ake.Uncles and aunts are busy with the preparations in the store, and there is no one by the telephone on the second floor. What Ake said is true, "leave it on me" is not an easy promise.When the call was made, San Guming was in the company, at his post.So get through right away. When he took the phone and put it next to his ear, he heard the sound of his heart pounding, as if his heart had moved into his eardrum. "Hi, daddy?" A small hotel with an ominous name came to ask if the customer had left something in the store - Mitani Akira, who came to answer the phone with this impression, fell silent for a moment.Wataru desperately tried to understand the silence. "It's me—I'm Wataru." Father remained silent. "I'm sorry, I called the company. I don't know the number of my father's mobile phone, and my mother didn't tell me. But, I really want to talk to my father." An unfounded intuition whispered in the corner of Heng's heart: the phone is about to be hung up. However, San Guming said: "How are you?" Gen's whole body trembled all of a sudden, and it was almost difficult to put the receiver next to his ear. "Hey, Gen, are you okay?" Ake kept looking at this side, with an expression that seemed to say, "It's not good to stare, but I'm worried about you", and he pricked up his ears to listen. "Oh—well, it's fine. I go to school every day." "Really? That's good." "dad--" "It's not very convenient to make a phone call like this." "Then what should we do?" There was a slight pause.Nothing could be heard, and Ming's office seemed very quiet. "You don't have to go to school this Saturday, do you?" "Oh." "Then find a place to meet. Just two people, Wat and Dad." As if lightning had passed by, the paralysis of the heart was relieved, and the blood flowed smoothly. "it is good." "It's better not too far away. Last year, we went to the Metropolitan Library to borrow books. Do you remember?" Is the library about eight bus stops away from home. "Oh, I know." "At the closing counter over there, how about it? Noon." "Is it exactly noon? Twelve o'clock? Well, it's all right." Ming also said his cell phone number.Write it down in a hurry and repeat it again.He concentrated on it, as if he got the number to open the prison lock. "through--" "Oh, I'm listening." "You might be mad when I tell you that. Daddy just wanted to talk to you that day, so..." "Oh, I'll keep it a secret from Mom. Because I want to see Dad alone too." Hang up then, Ming said.Gen said "thank you".He waited until he heard a "click" to hang up before removing the receiver from his ear. "Can you add it to Uncle?" Ake leaned over. "Oh, see you on Saturday." The voice that flew out of his mouth was weak, and Wataru realized that he was about to cry. "Are you going alone? Where's Auntie?" "I'll go this time. And it's such an appointment." "That's right," Ake nodded thoughtfully, "Is this the case for this occasion? You can talk very thoroughly, and you can get answers to everything Sangu wants to ask, right? I don't understand much , it feels like this." "Ake, thank you." "Where is it?" Ake was embarrassed, "I just dialed a number." Wataru was worried that he couldn't wait until Saturday safely.If I feel restless and my mother asks what's going on, it's not easy.He even thought about what to do if he talked in his sleep at night. In the morning, I woke up at five o'clock.When he sat down in the living room alone, he recalled the scene of himself and Uncle "Lu" staying here from Friday to Saturday morning.I don't know if this association is unlucky or a natural psychological reaction.He just discovered that the place where he was sitting with his knees crossed at the moment was the place where Uncle "Lu" sat with his head crossed at that time. Wataru said he was going to the Metropolitan Library with Miyahara-kun, so he went out.Kuniko didn't seem to notice, and gave the round-trip bus fare and 500 yen for lunch.When I went out, I took a look at my mother's face. In the blinding morning sun, my mother looked very old and sad, almost like washed and faded curtains. Arriving two full hours early, Wataru paced between the open-shelf bookcases, pulling out books casually to read.It doesn't come into my mind to read anything, and the lines of words are like teams of little ants, densely swarming past. Akira Mitani, who is upright, abides by the agreed time very well.At 12:50, I went to the lending counter and saw that my father had already arrived. Earth green knitted shirt, white trousers, brand new sneakers, all things I have never seen before.Moreover, Ming wears rimless glasses with small lenses.Although I knew that my father was mildly short-sighted, it was the first time I saw him wearing glasses of this shape. The rimless glasses are perfect for Dad. "Oh, it's already here? Have you been waiting for a long time?" He speaks steadily and calmly, he is the father he knows well, nothing has changed.That night, the dusty face, choked voice, and drooping shoulders I saw when I ran away from home—these were only limited to that night, and now they have disappeared. Come to think of it, it's been more than two weeks since then.Gen wanted to tell the impression of his father he saw after a while, but he widened his eyes and thought about it for a while, not knowing where to start.Dad also seems to have lost weight, although not as much as Mom.But—he didn't grow old.Instead - how should I put it?As grandma used to say—— (a little bit) Feeling younger instead. (Fool, it's impossible!) The idea that Dad was getting younger by running away from home was inappropriate.Who is it not suitable for?Oh...not for me, not for mom. "Dad is sorry for you staring at me like this." San Guming said with a smile.Gen blinked hurriedly, but still didn't know what to say, the words he said were unbelievable: "Mom gave 500 yen for lunch." "Really? Then you can keep it as pocket money, and dad treats you for lunch. What do you want to eat?" I can't think of anything I want to eat, I can eat anything, or just stroll over there.Anything is fine as long as I can be with my dad. "It will be very comfortable to have a blow. Let's take a walk in the park. I came across the park just now. There is a hot dog stand." Heng followed his father and walked from the library to the park.On the south side of the library is a large park, which can be used as a shelter in emergency periods such as earthquakes.The expansive lawn is eye-catching in green.Walking along a gentle curve, you come to a circular square with a small fountain in the center.Although the tourists were scattered, there happened to be benches vacant. "Right here?" Ming said. Mobile food stalls transformed from large vans are parked at one end of the square, and fat uncles and aunts who look like snowmen are sitting and buying with smiles on their faces.Gen ordered two hot dogs and Coke, and was persuaded that the French fries tasted good too.After walking in, I found that in the driver's seat of the van, there was a little girl the size of a kindergarten, eating vanilla ice cream in a paper popcorn cup.It must be the child of the uncle and aunt. Ming and Wat sat on the bench together, having lunch.At first, I thought that the taste was not important, but after chewing, I found that the hot dog was really delicious.Ming also said feelingly that it would be great if there was such a stall near the company at noon.There are not many delicious shops. Having said that, I think back to many years ago, there was a time when my father brought bento to work, about a year or so.Later, the affiliated department changed, and the opportunity to have lunch with customers increased, so I said that I didn’t need to bring bento, so I stopped. Dad asked many things in a gentle voice: how is the school, how is Komura-kun, are you confident about the exam this semester, and so on.In this peaceful atmosphere, nothing seemed to have happened at home, and the two of them were just taking a walk.At home, mother hangs up the washed quilt cover, shines shoes for dad, irons shirt for dad... There was a pause in the conversation and silence fell.The sound of spraying water is clearly audible. "Dad, when did you start wearing glasses?" Asking questions is like groping for an entrance. Ming raised his rimless glasses. "Isn't it suitable?" "No no, it matches well." A question flashed across Gen's mind: Is it the woman who chooses this pair of glasses, who lives with him now?Fortunately, Gen didn't try to grasp it specifically, so this question disappeared without a trace. "Although it's a good match, Dad seems to have become a stranger. When we first met." "Oh, yeah?" As Ming said, he pushed his glasses again. "No way." "dad." "Oh?" It was a question that was difficult to utter, but he blurted it out with a sneer. "Are you definitely not going home?" Ming looked at Gen's eyes through the small lens, and then slowly lowered his gaze.A few drops of ketchup fell from the hot dog next to the face. "Mum said if you wait, Dad will come back, so don't worry about anything." The hot dog stand is full of people, it is very lively and the business is booming.There were people sitting on the benches.The much younger children played with the water, causing the water in the fountain to splash and sparkle in the sun. "Is that true? Can I really think that?" San Guming took off his glasses, put them on his lap, and stroked his face slowly with both hands.Then, he turned around and looked at Gen. "Father will always be Heng's father." This sentence is like a stone thrown at the water surface, jumping a few times, and flying away from the water, it just bounced on the surface of Gen's heart. "Dad knows, I didn't ask this." And Mama said it was cowardly to say that—it stopped on the tongue. Ming looks out at the fountain, at the happy families or couples occupying the benches.He was silent for a while as if in a daze. Then, he put on his glasses again and turned to Wataru.That's what it feels like—it's a break when I take off my glasses, and I start working as soon as I put them on. "If the so-called 'going home' means to live with my mother again, then it won't happen. To borrow your words, it will definitely not happen." Although I was the one who asked him the answer, Wat felt that he couldn't bear the weight of the answer and fell down.As soon as the foundation was lost, Dad's answer, together with Gen's soul, fell into the dark abyss. "Did Dad say that that night? Dad hesitated for a long time, and finally made up his mind, so he must carry out his determination to the end. Therefore, I will not go home anymore. If I wanted to go home, I would not have said such things at the beginning. This It's a big event, Dad understands how much it hurts Mom and Gen." Now that I understand, why? "You're a smart kid, so I should have told you formally from the very beginning, without hiding anything. That's my father's fault." San Guming said lightly, "I originally thought that no matter how you say it, it will only make you sad. Now it is impossible for you to understand this matter. So, I plan to leave without saying goodbye. Dad is mentally prepared, even if you die because of this. Hate dad, hate dad, that is also the punishment dad deserves. This feeling still exists now. No matter how much dad you are, dad has no excuse." Gen can't say anything.Because what Dad said made sense. "Even if you say, Dad is no longer my dad, Dad can only accept it. Because this is retribution. However, even if you can't forgive, Dad has always been Heng's dad. Because for you, Dad can only accept it in this way." way to take responsibility.” Gen is still in the process of falling.The answer I got from my father slipped away without knowing it.Did Beacon fall first? Falling down alone.The depths of which no light reaches are unfathomable.The wind whistled in my ears.He quickly moved away from the entrance of the cave, and the father standing beside the entrance of the cave also quickly became smaller. "In the future, what you need to go to school, of course, will be borne by your father. I will try my best to remit the living expenses of you and your mother. When I can discuss with my mother, I want to follow my mother's opinion on this point. You can do it. You can live in that house forever. Because it belongs to Mom and Gen. At this point, you don’t have to worry about it.” Dad was talking about money.Yes, it is money.Money is very important. "Daddy—you don't like Mommy and me, do you?" San Guming shook his head: "It's not for this reason. And on this issue, Dad can't consider you and Mom together. It's wrong to put you and Mom together." "Why? But these are my parents. The three of them are a family, right?" "Wait, even a family is a collection of everyone. Even if they have completely different lifestyles, there are also those who cannot live together." "Dad is living with another woman now? Is it because he likes that person, so he abandoned us? Is that the case?" Through the small lenses of the rimless glasses, Ming's eyes widened, as if his heart had been shaken, and his mouth opened slightly. "Who did you hear that from?" "Who said it's not the same?" “这不好。对于父亲来说，这有问题。因为这是你不该听到的话，不该对你说的。” “可假如是真话，我就想听。我讨厌撒谎。爸爸不总是说，不能撒谎吗！” 声音不禁大了起来，旁边长椅上的人向亘这边张望。推着童车走过的年轻夫妇停住了脚步。 明伸出手，抚摸着亘的后背。亘讨厌被触摸，为了抑制住想推开那只手的冲动，亘闭上眼，双手紧捏在一起。 “没错，撒谎不好。” 明说道，声音低沉沙哑。 “可是，歪曲事实撒谎，和不想为人所知而隐瞒，是完全不一样的。这一点希望你理解。明白吗？亘很聪明的。” 这是无所谓的。为什么要这样子，把话题转向别的方向呢？ “是听'路'伯伯说的吗？” 亘沉默。 “那么，是千叶的奶奶说的？或者妈妈说的？” 亘猛抬起头，说道：“你不告诉我是不是真的，我就不回答。” 明叹一口气。 “真是没办法……” 喷水池周围又恢复了热闹。也许没有人会想到，这样的地方会作为如此艰难的谈话的地点。世上每一个人都是幸福的，除了我们。 “是真的。”明答道。 这个回答从仍在坠落的亘身旁呼啸而过。它不是坠落，它长着翅膀，快乐地飞走了。 “爸爸想和那个女人建立新的生活。如果妈妈同意跟我离婚，我打算和她结婚。” 坦克车的轰鸣首先在亘心头回响，他说道：“奶奶气坏了，说绝不允许。” 令人吃惊的是，明笑了起来：“噢，我很清楚。奶奶在电话里大发雷霆，说没我这个儿子。奶奶已经跟爸爸断绝关系了。” “断绝关系——是什么意思？” “就是切断了母子的关系。” “那就是说，爸爸已经不是奶奶的儿子，也不是'路'伯伯的弟弟了？” 三谷明苦笑起来。“并不是真那样的。只是说，奶奶气成那样子，说出那样的话。” “即使把奶奶气成那样，爸爸也觉得自己对吗？这事情对吗？” 明探头看着亘的脸。“你觉得，因为有亲人生气了，就改变自己的信念，这是对的吗？” “'信念'……是对自己很重要的意思吗？” “噢噢，没错。对自己来说，是不能退让的、重要的东西。” 那么说，对于现在的爸爸来说，抛弃妈妈和我，是那样重要的事吗？ “爸爸的信念是什么呢？妈妈那样伤心，奶奶那么生气。'路'伯伯也伤透了脑筋。即使这样也非坚持下去不可的信念，是什么呀？” 坐在旁边长椅上的中年大叔大婶，从刚才起就看着这边，也许亘的话有片言只语让他们听见了吧。明也许有所察觉，他瞥了他们一眼，脸色严峻。 旁边长椅上的大叔大婶对视了一下，同时去添了手上的软冰糕。 “爸爸的信念嘛，”明重复了一句，“你不知道，就没法接受，对吧？” “噢。”亘干脆地点点头。不过心里却害怕起来，总感觉不自在：把爸爸逼得太狠了吗？陷得太深了吗？本应过门不入的，却要把门打开？有电视游戏那样的攻略书就好了。攻略书会告诉你：闯入这房间只会遭遇手段高强的伏兵，积分未超50时，以置之不理、过门不入为妙。 “爸爸的信念，”三谷明缓缓说道，“是人生只有一次。” 人生只有一次。 “所以，认为自己错了，无论多么苦、多么难，能重来的就重来。因为我不希望只有一次的人生留下后悔。” 虽然是郑重其事地说出来的话，但留在亘脑海里的却仅仅是“错了”这个词。 爸爸的人生错了。 那么，我呢？ “爸爸是说，和妈妈结婚错了吗？那么，我是爸爸妈妈的孩子，也错了吗？是这样吗？” Ming shook his head. “我没这么说，不是这个意思。” “那是什么错了呢？我不明白呀。” “所以，这是现在的你还不能明白的事情。成了大人，多少有了艰辛的体验之后，也许才终于明白过来。至于明白了是好是坏，就是另一个问题了。” 亘变成迷童了。越听越糊涂。平时听了爸爸的解释，无论多麻烦的事，感觉一下子就明白了。无论如何漫无头绪，爸爸一出手解决，马上感觉井井有条。 可现在完全相反。爸爸所做的事，本身是很简单的。爸爸和妈妈分手，丢下我离家出走，想和别的女人结婚，仅此而已。可要求解释的时候，却乱成一团了。 明伸出一只手，扶着亘的肩头。一边轻轻地摇晃，一边这样说道： “只有一点，希望你能牢记。无论爸爸和妈妈做了怎样的错事，人生如何失败，那些都跟你完全没有关系。因为你是一个独立的人。平时爸爸也有说吧？即使孩子，也具有独立人格，不是父母的附属品。所以，即是爸爸妈妈的婚姻失败了，你也不是这个婚姻的失败之作。这一点，希望你绝不要忘记。因为事实就是这样。” 亘的肩头被轻摇着，他晃一晃脑袋说：“妈妈不认为婚姻失败了。所以才很伤心吧？” “那是因为妈妈还没有面对现实的勇气。” 明的眉宇间堆起皱纹。 “真正抬起头面对现实的话，肯定会一清二楚的。失败就是失败，从一开头就是失败，因为都是在敷衍。” 妈妈总是把家里弄得干干净净的呀，总是很用心做饭的呀，早上也没睡几回懒觉的呀。虽然也跟千叶的奶奶吵过架，不过也和好了呀。 “妈妈可没做什么坏事。没什么失败的。” 亘喃喃道。于是，他察觉父亲罕见地——真的很罕见地失去了冷静，烦躁起来。明急急地一口气说下去，仿佛要冲掉什么东西似的： “坏的东西不等于失败，也有没敢坏事而失败的。反而是当时认为好而做的事，经过漫长岁月之后再看，才明白失败了，这种情况较多。” 旁边长椅上的大婶停止添软冰糕，看着这边。好想完全没有察觉融化的软冰糕从卷筒边接连往裙子上滴。 “喂，”大叔低声说她，用肘捅捅大婶，“滴下来啦。” 大婶喊一声“哎哟，遭了”，慌忙擦拭裙子。亘呆呆地望着他们。大叔大婶，听见我们说话了吧。能听懂吗？替我解说一下好吗？我爸想说什么呢？ "I do not understand." 亘小声说，明随即点头。 “不明白吧？不明白也行的。这是爸爸的错。今天和你见面也是错的。不是吗？既不能向你解释清楚，白白伤害了你而已。就是这样。” 父亲使用“就是这样”的措词时，表示说话到此结束。亘很清楚的，因为迄今亘已就世上的种种事情，向父亲问过数不清的“为什么”，多少遍的一问一答，或得到答案或受到启发。 亘禁不住长出一口气，仿佛刚才一直屏住气息。感觉就像不换气就游过二十五米宽的泳池，能憋多久就憋多久，终于在苦闷之时手触池壁的样子。 恢复呼吸之后，现实感也恢复了。于是，一个很简单的，从一开始就现成的念头，如同气泡一样浮出水面。这个想法就原封不动地冲口而出了。 “最终就是爸爸喜欢上不是妈妈的女人，那个人更好，就是这样吧？” 三谷明没有回答。他皱着眉头，手指按着眼睛边缘，眼盯着地面。 喷水池的飞沫溅到亘身边。 “你想那么想的话，就那么想也行。那样也行啊。”明说道。 回家吧——明站起来。 “爸爸送你到巴士站。” “不用了，我在这里再待一下。” “撒娇赌气可不行呀，亘。” “不是赌气，只是想顺便去一下图书馆。” “这样谈话之后，爸爸怎么可能丢下你一个人自己走呢？” “我没关系的，肯定能回家。” 爸爸就安心走吧。回到没有失败的女人身边就好了。 亘已不去看父亲的眼睛。 三谷明叉腿站在仍固执地坐在长椅上的亘面前，沉默不语。亘盯着地面，沉默着。 喷水池的飞沫随风飘来凉浸浸。传来年轻女人的笑声婴儿啼哭。 “哎，亘。”明开腔了。 亘一动不动。“要见爸爸——是你自己想的吗？” “是阿克帮的忙。” “不是这个。我是问：是你自己想要的？” 亘抬起眼睛。爸爸似乎——看上去挺害怕的。 “要什么？” 三谷明嘴角微微一弯，停顿一下，似乎在选择字眼。他双手往兜里一插，垂下视线。 “不是妈妈要你这样做的？” 没听清楚。 "Ok?" “是不是妈妈对你说：你去见爸爸，求他回家？” I was tongue-tied. “——不是那样的。” “是吗？”明脸色难看地点着头，“那就好。假如是妈妈那样做——假如她那样子利用你，那就不好了。我想确定一下。” “妈妈才不会那么做呢。” 妈妈对我说，就当爸爸出差去了吧。 “我过来是保密的。” 明像松了一口气似的大幅度耸一下双肩。 "real." “噢，明白了。那爸爸就回去了。你回家也得小心啊。” 刚迈开步，又停一下： “你随时打我手机都行。想和爸爸说话就打。问功课什么的都行。” 茫然独坐时，一个微小的声音不期而至。因为太疲倦了，变得空荡荡的，所以难以集中精神，听不清。 “——小朋友。” 肩头被轻轻拍了一下，亘回看，是一直坐在旁边长椅上的大婶，正站在自己身旁。裙子上还留有软冰糕的污点。她略胖，和亘差不多高。她躬着身子，挤出一点笑容。 “小朋友，要回哪里去？” 像变成了空袋子似的亘无言以对。 “可以的话，就很大叔大婶一起走吧？” 在大婶身后，大叔一脸困惑和不高兴。 从亘嘴里飞出扁平的声音，像合成的声音一样，一点不像自己说的：“我要去图书馆。” “是吗？小朋友，你家不远吗？” 亘又说了一遍“我要去图书馆”，站了起来。 “喂，算了吧。”大叔从后面捅一捅大婶，“你这是多此一举。” 大婶拉着大叔的衬衣袖子。“我是担心呀，这么小的孩子就……” 亘丢下二人，朝图书馆的建筑物走去。 “哎，小朋友！”大神大声喊道，“想吃软冰糕吗？” “混账，别乱来。”大叔制止她。 "But……" 亘慢慢远离二人，耳畔却仍飘入大叔的片言只语。 “世上还真有哩，如此自私自利的父母。” 大婶说“男人不外就是如此”的话，也隐约可闻。 已经没有下坠的感觉了。掉到底了。尽管不知道有多深，有多宽，通向何方，是个怎样的底。 亘走到看得见图书馆入口的地方，回头望去。大叔大婶已经不在了。亘和明刚才坐的长椅上，坐了一对身穿花哨风衣的年轻情侣。旁边的长椅空着。喷水池的水沫色彩斑斓。 站在这里，却感觉不在这里。亘掉到底了，摔成稀巴烂，比水珠飞沫还要小，可能溅了一地吧。