Chapter 2 Chapter One

The harsh sound of the doorbell shattered the gloomy stillness of the house, and I stopped pacing with an absurd hope.Is Robert back?Did he forget his keys?But I know not.I knew exactly who was coming. It's the police, they're here because I called. I should have known what was coming.I should have a better understanding of what Robert had been telling me in all but words.Now he has been away with my young children for three hours and every bone and muscle in my body aches from losing them. Where are my children?Did something happen?Please do not. The thought hit me like a physical blow, and vivid images emerged from behind my tightly closed eyelids.I opened my eyes, but I could still picture them sitting in the back of Robert's car.The car had been knocked off the road by some crazy driver and lay in the ditch of a dark alley, waiting to be found.I saw blood on their foreheads, and I listened to their cries inwardly, just to make sure they were alive.But I didn't hear anything except birdsong coming through the open car window.In this fantasy picture, I don't see Robert.

As gruesome as those images are, I don't believe they were involved in an accident.Inside, I knew something else was probably going on, much more sinister. I opened the door and there was a broad-shouldered young policeman standing in the doorway.He looked solid and capable in his stab-proof vest and short-sleeved shirt.I know what he's going to ask me.I know their routine, it won't be any different from last time. I wondered if he knew me.He knew that the Olivia Brooks who called the police tonight was Liv Hunter who called the police seven years ago because her boyfriend was missing ("Liv" is "Olivia"'s nickname, "Hunter" is O Livia's last name before marriage.)?Does this make things different?

All these years later, I still have nightmares about that horrible night, waking up soaked in freezing sweat every time.At that time, my boyfriend called me and said he was coming out of the university laboratory and would come to see me soon.The journey home was not far away, but he still hadn't returned after two hours. I was so worried. I remembered that I hugged my little daughter, Jasmine, and whispered to her, "Daddy will be back soon, baby." In fact, she couldn't understand it. She was only two months old at the time.I'm just kidding myself.Dan never came back and I never saw him again.

I had thought nothing could be worse than the terror I felt that night, waiting hour after hour, wondering what might have happened to dear Dan. But I was wrong because this time it was much worse.This time, fear was like a hard ball, throbbing painfully in my chest, my mind, and my internal organs. The policeman, of course, wanted to know the details, he wanted to understand why I was so worried.The kids are with their father, of course nothing to worry about, is there?Have you tried calling his cell phone?I don't think I need to answer this question. Robert left at six o'clock.He said he wanted to take the kids out for pizza.I would have liked to go with them, but he insisted on spending more time alone with the kids.God!I hate to admit it, but I was secretly delighted at the time.Given how I felt about him, I thought it would be good exercise for him that one day we actually split up, so I let them go.

I didn't think much of it for an hour after they left.I don't think they're coming back anytime soon, so I find something to do to keep myself busy.I know Robert doesn't eat pizza, he must want to have dinner with me after the kids are in bed.So I started preparing chili, one of his favorite foods, as a treat for taking the kids out. After doing everything I could think of, I went back to the living room and it felt empty.Not a single child around - which never happens, unless they're in bed.Of course, Jasmine was at school, Freddie was two and he was with me all day, and Billy went to nursery, but only in the mornings.

The house feels empty, as if all the air inside has been sucked out, leaving only a cold, soundless space.I looked at the living room with a whole new perspective—a new, disaffected me—and I realized how sterile this space we had created was.We've taken the idea of ​​neutral tones to a whole new level, where there's not a hint of color to be seen and not a single personal item to be found.Not a single picture of a child, or a whim of bric-a-brac.Each of the paintings here was chosen not for the emotion it evokes, but for its purely neutral character that fits seamlessly into the drab surroundings here.Each ornament is chosen for its size in order to create the perfect balance.And, of course, Robert didn't like having toys in this room.

Who lives here? It can be anyone.Perhaps, for Robert, this arrangement was the inevitable result of living too long in my apartment suite, where orange walls and emerald displays lived in blissful harmony, those colors that radiated hapiness.And what does this room feel like? Nothing at all. I answered all the police's questions.We had already decided that Robert would not take the children to visit relatives and friends after dinner, neither Robert nor I had any relatives.My parents died a few years ago when Jaz (Jasmin's nickname.) was a baby.Robert never knew who his father was, and his mother died when he was a child.Neither of us had siblings either.These are brutal facts, and we have no choice.

But how can I explain that I can't even think of a friend he might bring the kids to visit?How did we become so isolated?so lonely? I know why.Because Robert wanted to own me, not share me. I should have known something was wrong when he suggested taking the kids out alone.He never did.If I had listened, and listened carefully to what he had to say, I might have stopped him in time. “Olivia,” he said, “isn’t weird for a father to take his kids out for pizza, is there? After all, some men just raise their kids by themselves.” Is Robert trying to hint at me?Did he guess how I felt?If the man hadn't been Robert, I might have thought it possible—just possible—that he had accepted the fact that I might leave him, and was trying to prove that he could handle it alone.But this person is none other than.This man is Robert, and things are not that simple.

I imagined every possibility of where they could be, and each one filled me with dread.I don't know which is worse: my young child lying somewhere injured, or another situation I'm afraid of.I dare not say it.